#im not salty it's just an interesting choice to have done that

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for yelling at my friend?

this ones a long one.

bg info

so we're both 15, and he's done this thing a couple times where he'll create a new groupchat and exclude certain people who he's not as close to.

to me, this is mean, and i've spoken to him calmly about it before but he kinda just brushes it off and says he's just including close friends.

its also relevant that previously i may have enabled him. like, theres a girl neither of us like and we'd make fun of her sometimes, though not to her face, which is probably worse. i'm trying to be nicer to her but i dont get along with her very well.

on top of that, the origin of the gc we use now is that there was a bigger one and he told me "i just don't feel comfortable with some of these people". so i created a new group chat and let him pick who got added, with the agreement that we'd have to come to an agreement before adding more ppl, just for the sake of everyones comfort.

not sure if this is actually relevant or if im just salty but he doesn't spend time with the people in the gc at school, he sits with a group of juniors n seniors for lunchtimes and only comes around every so often. not sure if he's just spending one-on-one time with everyone or if he's actually not hanging out with us anymore.

into the actual inciting incident

today, we were talking about the groupchat to a friend we'd made recently and added today. he offhandedly mentioned one of the smaller groupchats he'd made for closer friends, and how no one had used it. i got really mad about how casual he was about something i thought was mean of him to do, so i told him something like "i just think that it's a rude thing to do."

and he said something like "well im just including our close friends", we kept going like this for a bit, and I yelled at him "why are the only people that matter the ones YOU like?" and there was more of a kerfuffle i don't remember, but i did in fact cry (self-provoked, he didnt say anything). i apologized for being so dramatic, and he left. it was class time so i left too, and my sister drives me and she had work so i left school really fast.

we have a little routine where we watch a show together on call though and he said yes when i asked about that. after asking him abt our show, i texted him n apologized for yelling at him n asked to talk but i said that i still thought that the way he treats people kinda sucks. no response.

what people irl said

like one person said that i was brave? and that they shoulve said something. the girl we added didnt say anything, and my other friend asked if i was okay after it was all over

why i might be an asshole

i think im being kinda on a moral high-horse when ive enabled and even kinda participated in this behavior before and ofc, yelling was very much an overreaction on my part

additionally, its not exactly a choice to not get along with some people?

why he might be an asshole

excluding people on purpose and ignoring my attempts to talk things out.

with the bias filter on, this behavior is pretty self-centered, because he doesn't hang out with us much at all, and he's never very invested in any of our interests or issues, but he still gets to dictate who gets to be in the "close friends" group chat?

for any advice

i really don't want to drop him as a friend, not just because i like spending time with him, which is most of it. the other part of it is that im really scared of what will happen if he gets mad at me, because i don't want to break up the friendgroup into people taking sides, and to a lesser extent im scared that if that does happen no one will take my side in that conflict. it just doesn't seem worth it to get into a blowout with him about this when i don't want to lose anyone.

thanks for reading all that, this is mostly just to organize my thoughts. render moral judgement at will.

What are these acronyms?

[obsessedwrhys]

Hello !! I was wondering if I could request a selkie! Reader x Raiden, where they are allies, but raiden doesn't know that the reader is a selkie and while training together and Raiden finds the readers seal skin and the reader tried to seduce him to get it back. Raiden has feelings for the reader and falls into it and ends up confessing to the reader, who then explain the situation??

The Ocean's Tale

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ fluff, cursing, some angst? Sorry this request was done slow cause I have like a lot of drafts to clear out. Reader is fem (written according to a selkie's personality)!! Didnt proof read sorry im having a bad day 😔

ᯓ★

On the sandy shore near the ocean, you laid on your back as you inhaled the salty scent of the air. Despite just coming out of the water after a long swim, your body was longing for another dive.

Everybody around you knew you had a thing for the ocean.

But they never thought this little interest had a different reason to it.

You were a selkie.

A creature that was just a myth to others... and you'd rather have it stay that way. For your safety and everybody's...

"Now what are you doing out here all by yourself?" A gentle voice spoke from behind you.

You were quick to sit up and once you turned to see it was just Raiden, you relaxed. The presence of him made your face light up. He was a kind man. At first you were sceptical of Liu Kang's choice of choosing him as Earthrealm's champion due to his soft personality, but after the events that has happened, he had proven himself to be worthy of the title.

"I was simply just enjoying the ocean" You said, curling your legs up onto your chest as he sat beside you.

"I see..." He nods, his eyes examining every detail of the ocean view in front of you.

"Were you looking for me?" You teased which easily made him chuckle.

"Would it be bad if I said yes? I was hoping you could train with me" He asked, his focus now settled on you.

"Train with you? What about the others?"

"They've been dragged to this party Johnny was excited about. I just happen to be gone when it happened... but now I need a new training partner" He said and his question had you chew on the inside of your cheek as you thought over his request.

"Mmm... since you asked so nicely... then I'll help you with your training" You said willingly.

Just like that, you walked alongside him on the way to the outdoor training area. It was a large circle that provided just enough space for anyone when in use. A few feet away were a group of beautiful trees that you've ever seen on land. As you stood opposite of Raiden, you watched as he began to warm up his body.

"You seem serious about this" You said, pointing out the obvious.

"How could I not? You are a close friend of Liu Kang's. Even when I got here, all I've heard were praises of you. Every one of them saying how you were a strong opponent, elegant yet so efficient" He said, his words easily making you feel flattered.

"Well then, I hope I do meet your expectations. Shall we brawl?" You said with a playful glint in your eyes which he happily return with a grin and a confident nod.

In a swift move, you charged at him and he was quick to get in a defensive position, readying for your attack. As you closed in the distance between you two, you changed the route of your direction as you elegantly twirl around him to kick him at the back of his leg, which causes him to fall on his left knee. However, what you didn't expect next was for him to counter your punch before switching up to grab you by the arm. In an attempt to pin you to the ground, he began to drag you but you were able to duck down and elbow him on the side.

The fight went on, neither of you backing down. Despite the urge to win, you could see through the way he fought that he was still holding back, not willing to harm you. Which was a stupid yet considerate move because it was this mistake that lead you to your victory. With him on his back, he chuckles to himself as he stares at the way you were towering over him. A proud look on your face.

"I have to admit. You're quite the opponent, Earthrealm's champion" You teased, once again.

"It's an honour that you think so high of me" He said. Traces of sweat already appearing on his body.

You then offered him your hand and he takes it without a second thought. After helping him get on his feet, you decided to go take a seat by the table nearby to rest. It was completely made out of smooth stone to match the beauty of nature. You've always enjoyed the view of the forest... but it doesn't speak to you as the ocean does.

"Uh excuse me but I'm gonna go wash my face. I'll be back" He said and you couldn't help but giggle a bit to yourself as you watch him run off.

"Don't take too long...!" You told him which he shouts back with a simple okay.

Even with him gone, a smile still remained on your face. Not only do you find the way he treats you to be respectful but you also found it adorable. You weren't even his teacher when he was first sent here to train. You were simply just someone who stuck around or watched when you were bored and seeking for entertainment.

You had to admit, out of all the people chosen. He easily caught your attention. Not only was it for his good looks but his smile was radiant. You've never seen such a person before. It was like a breath of fresh air from the amount of men you've met throughout your lifetime.

Putting all these thoughts together now makes it seem like you were admiring him too much.

Guess that make it even between you both.

"I'm back... I happen to find this near the well" Raiden spoke, his hand holding up what appears to be your seal skin.

Your throat went dry when you saw it in his grasp. Fuck... you were sure you hid it perfectly near the forgotten well. How did he even know about that well? It had to be Liu Kang who told him. You watched him sit beside you, clearly not aware of the effect this was having on you.

"The fur is soft... I wonder what it is..." He said, running his hand across the skin. His action causing your breath to hitch as if it was your own skin he was touching.

This is just how the tale goes. A man, a selfish one would steal the skin of a selkie in order to have her betrothed to her. To bear his children.

But this wasn't a selfish man in front of you.

He was kind. He was anything but selfish.

But still, he is a man.

"Do you happen to know what this is?" He asks, tilting his head slightly to the side. You look at him as you try to think the right thing to say.

Soon an idea pops in your head.

As if a light bulb had been turned on.

"Well..." You place your hand on his.

"Does it matter? If it was left there then it was probably unimportant... so why don't you focus on me instead?" You spoke. Your fingers drawing cirlces on the back of his hand.

"Oh... uhm..." He clears his throat, seeming to get flustered from your touch.

"Yes... you always seem to have a thing for me. I'd like to hear your perspective on that" You leaned in, using your other hand to support the weight of your head. He blushes as he chuckles softly to himself.

"Ah... was I too obvious? I hope I haven't made you uncomfortable"

"Uncomfortable? Oh you haven't done that. Now tell me your story hm?" You said which made him look at you with a shy smile, at the same time your hand was slowly inching closer to your seal skin as subtly as you could to try to take it back.

"Since you asked... I guess it was your grace that I was attracted to. You must get this from a lot of guys but you are undeniably beautiful. We may not talk all the time but I always find myself enjoying all of our little conversations" He said. You nod, acting as though you were giving him your 100% attention but your mind was set on one goal. To get your skin back.

"You have a certain charm to you. I uh... I actually find it one of the reasons I enjoy all of my time with you. Seems like you never fail to make me laugh"

Almost... almost... just a bit...

Your fingers were inches apart from the edge of the skin for you to just pull it back but suddenly Raiden grabbed you by your other hand which made your body jerk slightly. At first you were afraid he had caught you in your act and has grown suspicious but the heart eyes he was giving you was telling another story.

"I hope it's not too much that I ask for more of those moments. More of us talking. More of your constant jokes... I'm guessing what I'm saying is that I'm in love with you" His words leaving your lips parted in shock.

This wasn't what you had expected to happen.

"I'm in love with everything about you... and I understand if you find me silly to develop these feelings even from the lack of understanding we have of each other... but I'm willing to change that. I'd love to learn more about you, what you like, what you enjoy doing—"

"Ho-Hold on..." You said, your hand abandoning the grip on the seal skin so that you could place your palms on his chest.

"I'm still processing this..."

"Of course, take your time" His concern growing when he sees the visible confusion on your expression. Did you not feel the same?

Was he a fool for confessing so soon?

"I uh... ah... I don't know to explain this" You said and he seemed utterly lost in the situation.

"What are you referring to?"

"Raiden... forgive me but I didn't mean to come off as though I was trying to flirt... I was simply trying to distract you in order to get this back" You said, nodding at the seal skin placed on the table.

"This?" He gently holds it up.

"Is it something of yours?" He wonders, still struggling to paint the picture of what's happening.

"If I told you, would you promise not to tell a soul?" You asked and he nods almost immediately.

"You will not hear a word from me about your secret" He reassured. You reconsider, thinking of the possible consequences before finally choosing to open your mouth to speak.

"Do you know what's a selkie?"

"A what?"

"A selkie. They are a creature, a myth, cursed with the body of a seal. But every once a year, they are able to transform back into their human form... if they wished to return to the sea, they would need to put on what's called a seal skin, its so that they could turn back into their cursed form" You explained as best as you could.

Judging from how his brows raised out of shock, you weren't sure if he would still keep his promise of not telling your secret.

"Is... are you..." He was stumbling over his words. Though you nodded as you knew exactly what he was trying to ask.

"Then this must be yours. I apologise, I must have caused you to worry" He kindly returned your seal skin back to you which you accepted with a relieved smile.

"It's alright... I'm just glad nothing escalated from there" You said.

But something did escalated from there.

He just confessed to you!!

How could you have forgotten?

From your dry throat, you couldn't help but take a long sip of your water. It wasn't just you who felt awkward. You could sense it from Raiden as well just from notising how his eyes were shifting around the garden. He doesn't know what to say. He's probably afraid that he just ruined this friendship between you two.

"About what I said—" "What you said just now—" The two of you spoke at the same time and it made the situation worse.

Man you're both are hopeless.

"Um... sorry, what is it that you wanted to say?" He asks after the moment of silence. You smiled slightly at him for his kind gesture.

"What you said... about how you wanted to know me more... that you've fallen in love for me..." You said, trying to repeat the few words you remembered being uttered out of his mouth. Somehow you saying it made him feel embarrassed but he tried his hardest to hide that.

"Are you sure that's what you want? I'm a wild catch" You grinned. Even though you were testing him, he didn't seem fazed by it, it was as though he was up for the challenge.

"I understand what I want. I also understand that to have your love was never easy. If it were, my opportunity would have been missed" He then leaned his body closer to yours. For the first time you felt intimidated by his confidence.

"Just give me a chance... I promise it'll be worth your every second" He said. From the way he was looking at you, how could you say no?

"... you have my attention" Your response making him smiling joyfully. This moment marking a start to something pleasant between you both...

[thechaoticreader]

Popular Books I Read and HATED

*Disclaimer: If you like any of these books, slay! I'm happy for you! These are just my own consumer choices, and imo negative book reviews are just as helpful as positive ones!*

This list is not long because I don't actively dislike many books that I read, and I have a very good sense of what I will and will not like, but there are some I had to read/were misled into reading so here we go:

1. Tender Is The Flesh

by Agustina Bazterrica

My rant review is above if you want more details but recently I've seen a few videos that articulate my feelings in a way that I couldn't before so im going to add a few reasons here that were not included in the original post:

It gave very Qanon and general antisemitic vibes: i.e blatant conspiracy made up by the "wealthy liberal elites" to encourage cannibalism for their own enjoyment (I know she's Argentinian however that doesn't mean im not allowed to get the ick from it)

Purposefully inaccurate depictions of meat industry and disrespect for farmers (context: im a vegetarian from farm country with a roommate who works in the cattle industry - Angus beef if you're curious - so im very familiar with the process and cannot say in good conscious that it is all bad -> just support local farmers <3)

world building makes little sense

COWS DO NOT EQUATE TO HUMANS NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO !!!!!!!!

the "disease" doesn't make sense (even if its made up who would believe it)

No themes were treated with the depth nor nuance they require (capitalism, feminism, veganism etc.)

I think thats all I haven't covered but this is the only book I have ever read where my hatred of it continues to grow with each day. I went out of my way and deleted it from my reader and get annoyed every time I see it. And for the record (because yes i'm salty) I didn't hate it because it was too disturbing, in fact I've read and loved worse and ive been an avid horror reader since I was (admittedly too) young. I hate it because there wasn't a well done story underneath the gore. I'll say it loudly for the people in the back GORY HORROR BOOKS STILL DESERVE A GOOD/INTERESTING STORY, especially if you want to try to put complex themes in it. If you cannot write a deep story but you're good at and enjoy gore, write yourself a lil 100 page splatter punk and we can all have a good time <3

Unlike with Tender Is The Flesh I don't have a ton of thought out critical reasons for the rest of these soooooo I'm going to give my highly subjective reasons -> I totally understand why some like them <3

2. The Handmaids Tale

by Margaret Atwood

hated the writing style

It didn't keep my attention

disliked the ending so much I actually threw it across the room <3

3. The Hobbit

by J.R.R Tolkien

hated the writing style

male centered fantasy is not my vibe

my ADHD cannot handle long incredibly descriptive sections in books -> I physically fell asleep multiple times while reading this book

honestly even with the movie I fall asleep every time

0/10 book I want to read

10/10 bedtime story

4. Lord of The Flies

by William Golding

hated the writing style

hated most of the characters (and not in a slay anti-hero way)

was forced to read it in high school and it single handedly sent me into a 4 year reading slump... I missed so many good books because of this and will forever hold a grudge

5. Romeo & Juliet

By William Shakespeare

I'm too jaded and gay to enjoy this -> every single character is so painfully stupid

tbh im just bitter that his (imo) better plays get less love than this one, its way over hyped

but I will give it points for boring me so much that I wrote my first fanfic (Romeo x Mercutio if you're curious ... no its not posted anywhere and it never will be <3)

sidenote -> Shakespeare plays I love incl:

Hamlet (duh im a depressed emo gay on Tumblr)

Macbeth (also duh, witches and female manipulator... need I say more)

Othello (a slow burn for the true crime girlies)

Measure for Measure (absolutely underrated, please please please look into this play -> I saw a production of it and it was incredible)

[coffyao]

..𝔒𝔥? 𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔪𝔢? | 𝔅𝔩𝔲𝔢 𝔏𝔬𝔠𝔨

Summary:

Football was a thorn to your existence; Nothing special. Nothing exciting to watch. Then you watched Oliver Aiku, a natural-football genius, take the thing that you despised the most into something more of an acquired art form.

This, in turn, leads to an infatuation that you are not sure if it crosses into obsession over his football- or obsession over him. Which is it?

____________________________________________________

"..Your a fan?"

"Yeah, I think your a really good defender and, to be honest, your kinda underrated... you know? haha."

"Ah right,  I really appreciate it. Thanks. Just.. give me your paper, here.."

"Wait.."

You scribbled numbers on your notepad and gave it to him.

"Okay.. Oliver... Aiku... uh.. hey."

"..Yeah?"

"I don't date fans."

"Oh.. no I just wanted to- uh..."

" Look, yeah, I know what your trying to do. I just don't have time for it."

"Oh.. I just.. really admire you.. and..no i just.."

"Thats great, and im glad you admire me. Im grateful even, but.. im just not interested."

"Thats not it-"

He patted your shoulder, a whiff of Creed aventus reaching your nostrils.

He slowly grins at you, gazing at you with a tired expression.

"But I'm sure you will find someone you like."

_____________________________________________________________

You never used to be a football fan...in fact, it was your parents that were truly into the whole kicking the ball into the goal rubbish.

You remembered being an adolescent, the rancid smell of cheesy nachos,  wet hotdogs, and human sweat filling the stadium, feeling physically sick at the millions of stinky people gathering to see equally stinky players.

Its not like you had a choice either since they enthusiastically talked about how you were going to be exhilarated at the ambiance of screaming football fans, and seeing some 'fine' sportsmanship.

But...

'this' is what you were supposed to be excited about?

You might have been a child, but you knew yourself well, and you knew very, very well that this wasn't meant for you.

Too noisy. Too boring.  Too long.

"Mum, dad i wanna go home."  patting both of their arms.

They didn't look at you, so you repeated again, "Mom, dad-"

But there was no use, they were hypnotized, pupils enlarged and entranced by this sight that they call football.

Football.

What was so special about football?

What made people gravitate to this mundane sport? it was nothing spectacular to see.

To adolescent you.. it was a bother. A hindrance, to what you would have rather done.

So.. after a  few hesitant years of going to these matches, you expressed to your parents one day, "I don't wanna go to football matches any more."

It was extremely sunny that day, temperatures transgressing to at least 30 degrees.

"But why?"

"Because I hate it."

Your mom heavily gasped out, while your dad remained stone-faced.

"..i rather do something else.. with my time."

You weren't scared of them but at the same time, not gaining their approval made you uncomfortable.

Talking about what you disliked and liked didn't come naturally, seeking to people-please instead, not to offend, not to hurt.

This was a first for you, temporarily feeling proud of yourself, but quickly feeling increasingly tense as you waited for your parent's reply.

A throat was cleared, making the ice melt immediately.

Your dad wrapped you around in a tight hug, and spoke,

"..I had a feeling you didn't like going with us.. but i didn't listen to my gut. "

Your mom spoke as well, "I'm shocked..  but you really should have told us earlier sweetheart. We would of never.. you know took you if you didn't like it."

..And that was that.

they soon left, air conditioner turned to a maximum while enjoying a cool, ice cream bar.

No more football, no more boring, no more noisy. This was great.

After more years have passed, it was your last year of college, and you were at home, chilling out with one of your best friends.

You took a salty chip and popped it into your mouth, enjoying the prospect of one day moving out to your dream uni.

Your friend kneeled down to their knees, staring at you with puppy eyes.

You said, "What?"

"Look, im sorry im sorry.. I know you don't like it.. but can we..?"

"Ugh.. why? I told you i don't like that stupid sport."

"Yeah but.. look I promise you, this time around, YOU are going to enjoy it."

"..And how?"

"Because... don't worry. You SHALL see."

They took the remote from your hand and clicked to the football channel.

"Hey- I didn't say-"

"Looklooklooklookkkk! There he is!"

"Who?"

"JUST- LOOK."

Your eyes focused on the television screen, scanning for whatever the fuck your friend was going on about.

You lean your body, and the screen cuts to a guy kicking the football across the field, a sharp grin spread along his face as he did it.

Your friend jumped up on the sofa, hands clapping together.

" OH MYY GOD ITS OLIVER AIKUUUUUUUU! DID YOU SEE IT, DID YOU SEE IT?"

"Y-yeah.. Uh.. is this who..?-"

"YESS, YESS, HES LIKE, HES LIKE..  UGH SO BASICIALLY- HES THE  NEW CAPTAIN OF THE JAPAN U-20 TEAM-"

"Okay.. calm down-"

"YOUR NOT GETTING IT THOUGH, JUST LOOK AT HIM!"

You raised your eyebrow and took another glance at him.

His hair was shaggy, with green ends, had different colored...

"...Oh. He has heterochromia. "

"OH MY-"

They stood up, throwing their arms up while making a disgruntled expression.

"OKAY- Okay. Yeah OBVIOUSLY, but what else do you notice about him?"

"Ugh.. this is tiring.. okay."

Your eyes traveled down to his face for a few seconds, lips curling at his quite noticeable scruff.

You looked back at your friend, noticeably making a wide grin.

"..SEE? Your smiling. You liked that he had a bit of scruff going on huh-"

You took your velvet pillow and threw it at their face.

"Ah- shut up."

"He's good-looking, right?", pillow already off and scooched up right next to your personal space.

"Yeah. I guess so."

"He's like.. one of those older guys in those usual guy friend groups that you just can't help but have a crush on. Even the way he smiles-"

So you admitted it, he was attractive. But so are a lot of guys. It didn't mean that he was special.

But..

You did like the fact that he was older. That he was also a captain, so he was like an authoritative figure in a way..

....

Not in that kind of way.

That was your friend's dirty mind speaking.. not yours.. not yours.. okay. Maybe part of it was yours.

But that was as far as the interest went.. until you browsed on the internet and searched him up. You wanted to see why the country was obsessed with this guy..

So, when your parents eventually went to sleep, you browsed on Videotube, watching football matches of Japan-U20.  

The other players were extremely talented in their own way.. but in an unusual sense, you always felt drawn to how Oliver played.

His speed, his ability to swiftly take the ball, his quick reaction.. it was like watching someone who was constantly in their flow. Their zone, as footballers would call it.

This habit of watching a video once a week, became a daily thing, watching a match on the way to college, a match when you got home and a match whilst the lights were off.

You told yourself you still didn't like football.. this was.. simply a taster. Giving it another chance.  You just enjoyed the way they maneuvered the ball, that was it.

In fact, you wanted to give it a chance so much, that you even booked a ticket to watch next week's match, Japan-20 vs Blue Lock.

You were going to see... Oliver in person. his unique play, and his memorable lazy smirk,  you already captured it all in your head.

This wasn't a crush or anything.. it was infatuation over his skills.. at least, in a logical sense at the time.

Next week came in a flash, announcements of the big event making gossip at college, and gossip throughout the streets of Japan.

You wore a basic T-shirt, with denim shorts and trainers. A low-key look that didn't make you stand too much, and a look that averted the eyes of your football-obsessed parents.

You planned everything ahead, making sure that your seat was the furthest away from them, floppy hat packed away in your backpack, ensuring a cover just in case they looked your way.

Before you left the house, you told them, "Hey, I'm going to meet my friend at the park." an excuse that you were hoping wouldn't invite any intruding questions, and luckily it didn't.

You arrived at the stadium an hour early, finding yourself at the back seat watching, snacks bought with you to avoid buying the usual ridiculously pricey food.

"This is boring." You mumbled, opting to go on your phone, waiting for the drills and marching band to end.

Sudden loud chants of "Japan-20!" broke your concentration, realization that the game you were anticipating, was starting.

The teams came out 1 by 1, Blue lock eleven earning mixed receptions of boos and rejoicing, and japan reaching maximum and enthusiastic cheer.

You started to remember why you hated football in the first place.. until you saw Oliver coming out.

It was as if the spotlight was shining on him, handwaves at the audience and a toothy smirk all too uncomfortably familiar.

an unknown emotion was arising.

"Oh my god.. it's him.. oh my god.."  A sentence that you were meant to keep in the abyss of your mind.  

As your mind watched him in the way his quick reflexes would catch the ball, to his brutal shutdown of the other team, made the emotion more unclear than ever.

His swift agility to be able to steal the ball was like watching a peregrine falcon reaching its target, sharp claws wrapping all over its body, and diving up in the air to prevent other birds from catching it.

His aggressive yet calm play was paradoxically satisfying, seeing him change in between personas of taking the ball vigorously, and passing it like it was a feather.

This was the real thing and it was so much better seeing such a delicious luxury in person.

As the match started coming to a close,  a close 3-3 between the two teams,  you jumped from your seat,  shouting as loud as you can shout, "You can do it, Oliver!"

Fists raised in the air, momentarily forgetting that your parents could be in that audience.

A part of you hoped cheering would earn you acknowledgment from him but all it earned you were awkward stares and the increased likelihood that you would be caught.

Quickly realizing this, you took out your sun hat and stuffed it on your head, hoping the eyes on you would go away.

You looked back at the match, loud announcements already declaring that blue lock won.

Even though the loud uproars of the audience helped recoup some of your pride back, you couldn't help but feel a little hurt that Oliver didn't notice your words of encouragement.

But that is to be expected, you are only just a fan after all.

Your just a...

"Hey, I don't know who cheered for me and whatnot, but whoever you are, I really appreciate you~!"

It was his voice. He kept yelling on the microphone.

"Just make sure to cheer for the rest of my team next time, because after all, I'm not the only one who gave it my all today! Thank you!"

He gave a thumbs-up and went to his team.

It was surreal. Oliver Aiku. The one and only gave you acknowledgment.

Happy was an understatement, you felt.. like a zoo animal coming out of its cage for the first time.

Ultimate bliss.

You were going to meet Oliver Aiku no matter what,  whether it be now, or in a fan greeting. You just had to, it wasn't a superficial crush, it was more admirable than that, it was adoration, appreciation over his craft.

It's completely different.

____________________________________________________

Although this rejection was expected, you felt this wasn't how it was supposed to go.

You articulated it all wrong, you wanted to say that you enjoyed his football, that this wasn't because you liked him but that you liked his art.

You wanted to say...

"Look, my teammates are waiting for me.. uh....actually are you the one who cheered me on earlier?"

"Y-yeah i.. did. Look.. i don't want to date you.. I wanted to say.. I want to keep watching you."

"Oh aha gotcha.. wait.. you wanna keep watching me?"

"I... don't like you. I like.. the way you play football.  So much so.. that... I have to keep seeing it."

He rubs his chin in thought.

"..Interestin. very interestin. I've never heard such a peculiar response before. Hm. So then I'm guessing your just a football pervert, huh?"

"What...? No...! I..just..watching you.. has made me realize.. that.. uh.. football isn't that bad after all."

"Oh. right. So what ur saying is, you used to hate football, but watching me has got your head out ur ass and made you like it. Now.. where have I heard that before..?-"

"Oh for fu- no you egotistical clown! if you think im into you, then i think u need ur head out ur ass. Im into.. your football. I have a crush.. yes.. but on the way, you play. That is why.. but i think i made a stupid mistake-"

He puts his hands up, making his usual sarcastic smirk.

"Woah okay, okay calm yourself. haha. Your really easy to rile up....alright.  fine, I'll bite the bait. You wanna know when I'm next playing right?"

"...."

"Well i mean.. after that long-ass match.. ill be taking a deserved break. But.. i might play.. sometime next week. Just for fun, of course. I'll let ya know. In the meantime.. what should i call you?"

"Y/N."

"Cool. so... perverted football weirdo. Gotcha."

" you- and I'll call you... dumbass jerk."

He pats your back heartily while laughing.

"Okay! Dumbass jerk it is! I'll see you later, PFW."

He walks off, jumping into the football bus.

As you watch it leave in a surge of smoke, you can't help but think this isn't what your expectations were at all.

"Perverted football weirdo huh.."

....

"Fucking asshole."

Even though admittedly, you found this a lot more entertaining than you first thought.

-

Thank you for reading chapter, "1."

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and stay tuned for the next one!

This Episode: 1.

Next Episode: 2.

[merkerlerspeaks]

Every single mysme man is toxic aside from Zen and Yoosung.

The only ones I'd have any romantic interest in are Seven and Jumin.

But they are all toxic to some degree and I have mixed feelings about them because of that. Because I know they're all sweethearts at heart. But my goodness. The two I'd actually think about going after would stress me out so bad and I wouldn't be willing to go through the effort of 'fixing' them. They'd have to fix themselves and call me then bc I just wouldn't have the patience for it....Jumin would be fine post-story probably. But I still wouldn't be willing to go through that effort lol.

Zen & Yoosung at least don't really take their problems out on the MC, man. From what I remember they don't make it her problem, they just vent to her and then work on themselves, and lean on her for support. I however am vehemently against viewing Zen in any romantic way (which is also funny, bc when I first started playing I thought that he would be my second choice after Jumin)

Jaehee is also fine. I'd like her better irl than as a character most likely.

I don't like V because of Seven's story but I feel like he'd give MC the most gentle life after the fact (I've not actually done his route yet though, that's just the vibes based off his personality)

Saeran is just an overall unfortunate and tragic character. From what I've seen, still toxic...but at least it isn't exactly his fault.

(Im still salty about how Jumin's route went bc the first time I played the game. I was like "I literally started to play this game just to get to you, and this is how you treat me? Screw you!" LOL he made me mad. But Im gonna try to play his route again and see how I feel about it now.)

[quietbluejay]

Angel Exterminatus Take 2 #11

coming to you LIVE from double pneumonia purgatory!

featuring the most famous scene in this book

(though, really, I feel like Eidolon stuffing Fulgrim with jewels in the same manner one would embed garlic shards into a chicken was a more memorable scene. Angel Exterminatus is one of the most Horus Heresy books ever)

it's time to derail to talk about magnus

what is the point of this if you don't leave something better behind you indeed note that the emperor doesn't actually answer this lol

and then he joins the heresy lol perturabo also wonders if Fulgrim's meeting with the emperor keeps HIM up at night

Lore: I just realised that despite Perturabo being memed on about being bitter about Dorn he almost never shows up here.

Bluejay: i know, it was such a surprise to me he does think about Dorn a few times earlier in the book and he's fairly salty i mean his whole playing the wargame vs the palace and then being like "this is why im always better than you, brother" but overall it's fairly minor

next up is Soulaka who is still intrigued by the monsters and decided to go do first aid as an excuse to try and find them he's shocked and appalled by the general state of things he tries to help one EC who is dying but doesn't save him, so starts to harvest his geneseed unfortunately, he's caught in the middle by Fabius still unclear how he survived wait sorry i misread Lucius stops him

but fabius is right behind him! welp RIP Soulaka killed by fabius and had his geneseed stolen okay you all may know what's coming next Fulgrim is late for their meeting

yes it's this scene but Fulgrim is finally here

im sure they will manage this like mature adults

Fulgrim decides to affect an interest in all the sketches and then he sees primarch anatomy Fulgrim is jealous and wants to know where he got them from Perturabo: you know well, I don't his database in his head?? self-vivisection??? they talk a bit about what Fabius is up to i feel like perturabo'd be a bit more upset if he knew he killed soulaka to steal his geneseed

lmao Perturabo never said anything about meaning it was wrong in the moral sense he meant in the technical you're the one bringing morality and Nietzsche into things here (much like the emperor, and i'm gonna get into this later) there's a bit of discussion about the clockwork titan Vulkan built it Fulgrim is immediately bored lol Fulgrim: guess Vulkan's not as good as I heard if this one isn't working

Perturabo's robots stop them, though RIP the clockwork warhound

also i love every time it gives a new adjective to describe Fulgrim's black eyes

I'm not being sarcastic, it's really fun

Perturabo is Done (tm)

Fulgrim: lmao I'm better than you in every way Perturabo: and yet I'm the one holding the hammer

Perturabo puts down the hammer

incidentally, Fulgrim is healing much faster than a normal primarch so, they have an agreement i remember the first time i read this i was like "this is NOT going to go the way perturabo thinks it is"

OKAY let's go back to what the emperor said last time

yes it's bluejay once again talking about consequentialism because that whole scene really does express the consequentialist mindset of the Emperor "it's fine when i do it, because I'm right"

which is now competing with Fulgrim's philosophy here of "it's fine when i do it, because it being right or wrong doesn't actually matter" because the first can lead into the second it's not such a huge jump this was also about the spot first time around where I was like "people talk like getting acknowledgement would have fixed Perturabo, but it really, really wouldn't"

Lore: I feel like Fulgrim's take on things is more nihilistic compared to the Emperor's, but their core argument is the same.

Bluejay: yeah that's my point, haha

i just didn't want to be like "consequentialism always leads into nihilism" im percolating ideas and i want to correct past me because there never really was any choice for Perturabo at all! in terms of a satisfying story all the choices are just the same choice because he needed to develop his own philosophy separate from the emperor/fulgrim i need to consider if i was right in my original reading about this being that conflict

Checkerheart: Basically Pert needed to make his own decision for once in his goddamned life

Bluejay: but he can't!! he falls victim to his flaws that's why he should die …i mean, from a narrative perspective

huh, i thought i'd picked up on what was going on here first time around but rereading through things, i hadn't yet, lol

Forrix once again has a bad feeling about things

and he's right, lmao

on a completely different topic i got reminded of the time someone called Perturabo a twink

Lore: He's more of a thwonk in feeling than a twink Will fall on you like a brick wall if you get too close

we're into part 3 now which means another interlude take a wiiiiild guess which character's past we're gonna see

so there's a group of them out in the radiation-infested wastes on what may be a wild goose chase

so despite all the dangers, they approach the comet… there's something glowing

so Sullax wants to kill the baby because he's an orphan, and, well, that's what happens to orphans, rip they end up getting into a fight and Coryn and Ptolea kill Sullax

TemplarWarden: After that description, presumably according to all of them, and really that's the conclusion? That's not fucked up at all.

Bluejay: yeppp also, mysterious, there's clean water flowing so that's how Fulgrim gets named because it apparently means "the water-bringer" hm i need to chew on this

TemplarWarden: That's a lot of very weird stuff, like I get that primarchs are odd but that seems the most blatant.

Bluejay: yeah this is levels of super-charisma beyond anything we've seen!

okay back to the present

i've said before he's got gifted kid syndrome turned up to 11, and i stand by that also you know, i don't think Guilliman and Perturabo ever actually interact on page also this is like instance #6 or 7 or "take the metal to the stone" is this a perturabo original or an Olympian thing

Checkerheart: …huh That feels like a waste (Pert might have had a moderately-healthier mindset if he decided he wanted to copy Guil rather than Dorn)

Bluejay: (or if they had some kind of rivalry) actually, that probably would have been good for both of them

guilliman would have to actually confront his whole attitude of "woe is me, everyone doesn't like me because i'm better than them" though then again, given this is perturabo…

Checkerheart: It's not that Pert would do this healthily But it would be an improvement over how he is It would be more healthy And it would actually use Pert in the sort of role that he seems more suited for It would let us get more of a vision of what full potential Pert would be like while still letting him squander himself on petty bullshit

so what is he doing right now, you might ask? he's repairing the warhound titan he smashed fulgrim's face into "it would be the work of months to repair it" maybe i'm reading too much into this but remember "once a thing is broken, it will always be broken?"

is this repair symbolic of perturabo wanting to repair his life and relationships anyways, Perturabo doesn't regret beating up Fulgrim, but secretly thinks that Forrix was right

HES SUCH A MORON

Checkerheart: Pert quits all the wrong things

Bluejay: exactly in all ways but physical, i am biting his head like an angry anime child Perturabo is tired and his eyes feel gritty, like he didn't get enough sleep oh yeah last time when i read this i was like "get help…oh wait i forgot this is warhammer"

TemplarWarden: Ah thr gun is going to go off and shoot me anyway, might as well not try to avoid it or wear a bulletproof vest. Oh Perturabo.

random magnus simping...

this was also the spot where i figured out what was going on anyone else picked up on what's going on? also i felt like an idiot because there were hints before but in retrospect i didn't actually miss that much they're almost at their destination, Perturabo still has no idea what was up with that second ship or with their Eldar guide and it's a Forrix interrupt, they've arrived

next time we're finally getting to the planet!

[snowflakesincalifornia]

Tags by @salty-an-disco:

#Razor doesn't see the world as real anymore

#there's only experiences and new things to see or do

#and as the only other person she's met. she can only experience those with you

#making her more similar to Contrarian than their own counterpart

#and making her break down at the end of Empty Cup

#'if you're nothing. then what am I?!?'

#similar to their own breakdown about nothing happening when everything is happening

#do you see it???

#do you see my vision????

Tags by @juice-of-juice:

#stp spoilers

#YRS YES YES YES YES

#SOMEONE WHO HAS THE VISION

#THEY ARE HORRIFIED AT WHAT THEYVE DONE IN DIFFERENT WAYS BUT WHAT THEY HAVE DONE IS THE SAME

#BUT THROUGH THEIR OWN UNIQUE EXPERIENCE OF LIFE AND HOW TO APPROACH PROBLEMS

#THE RAZOR ONLY KNOWS VIOLENCE AS A SOLUTION BECAUSE RHAT IS THE ONLY WAY SHE HAS EVER SEEN US AS MORE. AND WE BECOME MORE. AND MORE. AND M-

#WHEREAS WITH THE STRANGER. EVERYONE IS HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE AND CONTINUOUSLY AND NEVER AT THE SAME TIME AND ITS JUST AS NAUSEATING

#AND PAINFUL. *WE* REACT TO THE PRINCESS'S *ACTIONS* AND SHE REACTS IN TURN PERPETUATING THE CYCLE

#FROM THE BEGINNING THE TWO OF THEM WERE DESTINED TO BE SOMETHING MORE AND CAN NEVER BE WHAT THEY WERE BUT THEY CAN BE TOGETHER AND DO IT

#OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO FEEL WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE TOGETHER AND TO SEE SOMETHING NEW AND TO TRY AND AVOID NOTHINGNESS AND VOID

#CONTRARIAN IS A REACTION TO THE *NARRATIVE* AND THE RAZOR TRIES TO LITERALLY CARVE MEANING INTO THE ONLY

#OTHER PERSON SHE'S MET. SHE NEEDS TO KNOW YOU. SHE NEEDS TO EXPERIENCE. BUT SHE'LL NEVER KNOW OTHER WAYS TO DO THAT BECAUSE WE NEVER GOT THE

#CHANCE TO GIVE THAT TO HER. WE CAN ONLY GIVE HER WHAT WE HAVE LEFT. OURSELF. AND SHE'S TERRIFIED ABOUT WHAT THAT MEANS IN THE END FOR

#HERSELF BECAUSE SHE IS TRYING TO FIND MEANING IN SOMEONE WHO IS NOT HER AND HAS COME UP EMPTY ON WHO *SHE* IS

#SHE IS NOTHING WITHOUT THE OTHER. CONTRARIAN IS NOTHING WITHOUT THE OTHER. WHO IS THERE TO EXPERIENCE? WHO IS THERE TO BOTHER?

#WHO IS THERE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO BE HERE WITH ME TO *BE* ME <- they said. calmly.

#I NEEEEEEEED TO WRITE MORE ABOUT CONTRARIAN IN ROUTES OTHER THAN THE STRANGER

#WILD & RAZOR ARE FUCKING RIFE WITH OPPORTUNITY FOR HIM

#AS IN CONTINUING HIS NARRATIVE AND CHARACTER THAT IS

#THOUGH I WILL ALSO SAY THAT COLD AND RAZOR ALSO ALSO SHARE A LOT OF SIMILARITIES

#THEY WANT TO DO THINGS TO SEE NEW OPPORTUNITIES AND NOT BE LEFT IN NOTHINGNESS TOO

#YOU *LITERALLY* END C1 TO GET OUT OF NOTHINGNESS IN THE ONLY WAY POSSIBLE

#AND COLD'S GO TO IS. TYPICALLY. THE KNIFE! HE ALMOST ALWAYS OPENS UP WITH ABOUT HOW WE CAN KILL HER AGAIN

#THE RAZOR AND THE COLD DEFAULT TO VIOLENCE BECAUSE IT IS WHAT THEY KNOW WORKS TO GET NEW RESULTS AND THEY TUNE OUT WHO THEY ARE AND COULD

#FEEL AS A RESULT AND ONLY CRAVE THE NEW THE FRESH ***THE OTHER***

#''ITS ALWAYS MORE INTERESTING WHEN [] MAKE A CHOICE' WHO SAID THAT RAZOR COLD OR CONTRARIAN GO

#IT'S COLD BUT ANY OF THEM COULD HAVE SAID IT

#ahem. im normal. anyway

In the Razor chapter, we're the ones getting fragmented right before Razor's eyes at our every interaction, meaning we're to her what Stranger was to us, in this essay I'll

[gallantys]

Heya! Your replaced mc au fic “10:38 pm” was really good lol. I kinda reared up a bit :’). I wanted to ask for a happier ending to it possibly? I mean you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, take care❤️

Hmmm interesting~ I'm not that good in fluff but I can try :D thank you for reading ❤ (edit: I'm just in Lúcifer part yet and it turn into angst again– but I gonna make it)

Edit2: I gonna make all the reactions separately it ends bigger than planned, just say if you want to be tagged

And my Mc its a female, so im used to refer mc as her, I'm trying to keep it as gender neutral, sorry for any "she" that can happens.

Part one

It's 11:38pm... right now I'm taking all these pills, you have less than 5 minutes to save me from myself. But... do you really care? My destiny it's in your hands... but I think I know the answer, goodbye.

What if the brothers decide to read and go save you??

Lúcifer

He ran to your room and didn't even worry to knock, run to you and the only thing keeping him from crying was his pride.

He looked around, papers all around the room with cruel phrases of his... he felt guilty, but you wasn't dead yet and he promised that you would live.

Taking you in his arms and flying to the Lord Diavolo castle, everything in automatic, for the first time in centuries he wasn't thinking straight. He was ready to offer even his life if necessary to Diavolo If that means save you.

Lord Diavolo and Barbatos hurried approach you two, Diavolo was scarily serious, of course he knew what was happening and what happens all those months.

Lúcifer plead for your life, again pleading for a loved one life... but this time he was the culprit, your blood was on his hands, and he honestly don't know if he can forgive himself, his master, lover and best friend blood was on his hands... not literally, but he felt devasted.

Lord Diavolo was disappointed and didn't even tried hide it, even Barbatos was salty towards Lucifer, but their attention was on you. With the Lord's permission Barbatos takes you from Lúcifer's arm and lead you to a room, gently laying you on a bed and starting to make a antidote for an overdose

While you were being treated, Lúcifer and Lord Diavolo were talking

-Please, my Lord. I do anything, just let me be near them!

-Now you want to be near them? Because I didn't have seen any of you seven near them lately. I'm disappointed

-I beg to you, Lord Diavolo! -Lúcifer finally breaks, Diavolo for some seconds see the Lúcifer that he first knew-

Diavolo feelt conflicted, as a friend of Lúcifer he wanted to help, but as YOUR friend he want to destroy Lúcifer. As the prince of Devildom and the host of the program he want to punish Lúcifer and his brothers.

-The choice is theirs, when they woke up they gonna decide if they want to talk to you and still living in hol... or in Devildom -he sighs-

-Yes, thank you my lord, thank you! -Lúcifer bows and run to the room to find Barbatos giving you some strange potion-

Lúcifer just stare, he was devasted he slowly approaches you and hold your hand, receiving a look from Barbatos.

-They gonna be ok physically but im worried about their mental health -Barbatos said in a low voice-

-I gonna take care of it, i gonna protect them!

-Do you think they gonna allow you do it?

-Do you know something that you're not saying Barbatos?

-Perhaps I could, but no, I'm afraid that I don't.

Barbatos excuse himself and Lúcifer stay next to your for hours, and then, you start to wake up. The first thing you see it's red eyes.

Your worried expression, the way you flinch when he moves, your tears that start to accumulate... everything just broke his hear.

-Mc... Oh Mc, what have I've done? I'm so sorry, my dear. -he take your hands-

-...why are you here?

-How could I not? I know that I've been horrible towards you and I can't excuse this behavior, but I want to know that I deeply regret my actions.

-Just words can't fix nothing

-I know, believe me I'm fully aware of it. And Im willing to pay the price. I don't usually do this, but I'm begging to you, mc. Give us... give ME another chance.

-I... I don't know, Lúcifer...

-You don't gonna regret, I can swear to you in front of Lord Diavolo if you want, swear in front of anyone. You can use our pact to see if I'm lying.

-I-I trust you, please don't abandon me again

-I swear on my life that I won't -he gently hold your face- can I kiss you?

-Y-Yes you can

Lúcifer gently kiss you, in his head he was saying to himself that he would make you the happiest human on all the three realms.

[kuronanox]

Home is you - Ulquiorra Schiffer

"Hello? Hello~" (Your Name) sings shaking the pale man up from his sleep.

Opening his eyes slowly he blinked a few times looking at his surroundings. "Where am I? Why aren't I in los noches?"

"Jeez you creep! Don't go sleeping around the park like that! I know Japan is safe but I thought you were dead for a second." She says sighing in relief offering a hand.

Ulquiorra slaps her hand away and gets up realizing he wasn't in his uniform but some random t shirt and jeans.

"What have you done women?"

"Me?! I woke you up. That's what I did now, do you have someone you should be? It's getting late."

Looking around he couldn't sense any reistu, he couldn't bring his sword out or use cero. Till he remembered his fight with Ichigo. Ulquiorra remember dissolving into nothing.

"I-I don't understand." He stuttered, frustrated at the emotions he was feeling at the moment. He was lost, why was he here? Was he reborn a human? But why did he remember everything of his past life. 

A salty tear slipped in his lips as he touched his face confused. "Is this the human emotion of feeling frustrated? Feeling hopeless? Powerless?"

"I'm sorry. Do you need a place to stay?" (Your Name) asks more sympathetically watching the man breakdown in front of her.

The walk to a capsule hotel was quiet, she was surprise he asked for help. "I paid for you. I hope you find your way after tonight." She tells him as he looks into nothing and says nothing before taking his leave.

(Your Name) watches his back and sighs. "Maybe he's homeless?"

Ulquiorra laid in the comfy bed lost in thoughts, what had happen to the war? To Ichigo? To Aizen?

Why did he have to be reincarnated as a weak human?

"So this is human emotions?" He says out loud looking at himself in the mirror. He examined his face, was he always this pale and fragile looking?

Pissed he hit the capsule and nothing broke.

He was weak now, weak in mind and powerless.

He didn't know how he was going to survive.

It had been a few days and (Your Name) walked around trying to find the man. She felt a attraction towards him, like she was suppose to help him. She had no luck the past few days trying to find him.

"You have to pay for that thief!" A sales man yelled shoving Ulquiorra out his store.

"I'll kill you stupid human." He says in a monotone voice and raised his finger to use cero but nothing came out.

"You need help man!" The sales man yelled walking away in disbelief as Ulquiorra stared at his finger.

(Your Name) sighed in relief and ran towards him. "Hey! It's you again. What are you doing?"

"Trying to survive." He plainly says walking away still wearing the same clothes she saw him in the day they met.

"How do you plan on surviving with no job?" She asks following him as he walked to random places and examining people. "You will help me find one."

"Me?!"

"As you can tell women I'm not like you humans."

Bewildered a bit she pinched her nose bridge and sighed. "That's what I get for helping a weirdo."

"What do I get if I help you?"

"My protection." He simply says, even though his powers were gone he still was skilled with hand to hand compact.

"Just don't do anything stupid." She says as he follows her.

It was a very interesting few months that passed by, she never understood a lot of things Ulquiorra did.

He lacked a lot of empathy and emotions. He questioned what people did and enjoyed examining strangers on the street. He didn't speak much either.

He also became her protector.

"What is this manga that people are so crazy about?" He asks her one day as they sat and ate breakfast.

"As an manga artist and author it's my job to make my books into a reality. It gives people a sense of escape of our miserable lives." She says shooing him away from her work.

"Humans are weird." He simply says watching the news as she rolled her eyes.

"You know you're a human too?" She states to him and sighs.

"I am now."

There was a silence as she looked at him. He was a bit odd at first. She had to teach how to read, write and proper manners. She never questioned him though.

"So what were you before then?"

"Espada. I was an Espada."

"Huh a what?" She asks a bit taken back and lost.

"I don't know how to be thankful." He then says changing the subject as she sits across from him.

His eyes were green and he did have weird green marks on his face. "I'm starting to believe this guy."

"It's okay. I understand." She tells him as he looks at her with no smile or anything. His face was blank, she couldn't read him.

She knew he was thankful when he learned how to pick up humanity. He would pick up food for them, clean the house and when the rare opportunity comes he would beat up any stalker fans she had.

"I don't know who you were before but I promise you I'm here to help."

It was a cold winter night as they came back from Christmas shopping and picking her up from work, Ulquiorra was holding the bags as she rambled on how work went that day.

Ulquiorra wouldn't admit it but he had grown fond of her after spending everyday together. At first he has no choice to. He had no money or no home but she provided everything for him.

He would find himself smiling softly but frown after realizing what he had done.

"How was your day?" She asks him with a smile as his eyes widen a bit.

"I read books." He answered as she nodded her head.

Ulquiorra never really left the house unless he needed to. She had to admit it was comforting coming home to someone every night.

"I bought you new ones. I hope you like that."

"I enjoy all the books you've bought me." He says looking forwards at the snowing street.

She gasp a bit as he looked a way a bit confused. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No I'm just happy. Happy your expressing your emotions more."

He didn't say anything afterwards as she entered the warm house and set the gifts under the tree.

"I'm going to get some rest." He says and leaves to his room.

Before she could ask if he ate she saw that he had food already made for her.

"He sure is a fast learner for not being human."

Ulquiorra escaped to his room and laid in bed. He really was growing emotions, the more he stayed here the more he felt every emotions.

The emotions of pain, loneliness, sadness.

Recently he didn't feel any of those he felt happy, safe, secure. Was this the human way of saying he was satisfied of his life right now.

He didn't know but he felt a comfort of having someone by him at times. Unlike los noches, he was alone and don't know how to talk to people.

(Your Name) gave him a sense of living again and he would try to fit in this world. There was no way he could change the past so he decided might as well live for the future.

It was weird for Ulquiorra to have these thoughts, it was a new thing to him.

Before he lived for nothing but killing.

"What did you do before becoming human?" She asks him one night as they watched a movie. Well she had to force him to watch it.

"Kill."

"Okay? More explanation."

"I was created to kill, that was my only purpose in life. My home had nothing but sand and a moon."

"What did you eat?"

"My people."

She wanted to not believe him but every word he said were straightforward and he never blinked once. He didn't tell lies to her. "Interesting. So what happen? Did you get eaten or die?"

"I lost in a battle and disappeared into dust and I woke up here."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" He asks curiously a bit taken back from her words.

"I don't know you don't seem happy here."

He blinked a few times and tried his best to smile but it didn't come along. "I am satisfied as you humans say."

She sighed in relief and sadly smiled. She never really given the thought of being somewhere new with no one and not being able to fit in.

"I realize how hard it must have been for you, when people call you strange and treat you like an outcast. It must have been hard."

Ulquiorra sits with his legs crossed and tilted his head giving it thought.

"I don't need anyone if I have you."

There was a mutual understanding between the two even though words of expression were rarely ever spoken.

"I'm really glad to have you." She answered back feeling the warmth of her cheeks turn pink.

"As I am too."

(Your Name) had gone to a late meeting with a few of her editors and seeing it was past midnight she didn't wanna wake ulquiorra up from sleep to walk her home.

She lived in a nice part of Tokyo but in a quiet area so people rarely ever walked on her road.

It was raining hard as she made cover underneath a store. Sighing she pulled her phone out and tried to speed dial Ulquiorra number before a loud rumbled hit the floor and she looked up to see a hollow.

At first she didn't wanna believe it but the thing was real and screaming walking towards her.

"(Your Name)."

"Ulquiorra- there's a, there's a monster charging towards me."

The phone line went dead as he rushed out to find her.

Running in the rain he spotted the hollow immediately. "Don't get any closer to her trash." He spoke as it roared.

Ulquiorra had lost all his powers but luckily he knew some move although none of it worked as he was easily slapped away as he hit the floor hard and he groaned.

"This human body is pathetic."

Watching the hollow grab (Your Name) he felt every emotion go through him. The pain, sadness, frustration. She was screaming as she reached out her hand to his.

He called out her name and whined in pain before blacking out.

"Ulquiorra!" She yelled to him but he didn't respond. Looking back at the hollow it open it's mouth to consume her as she shut her eyes a green light was glowing around her.

"I told you I would protect you." He says to her as she opened her eyes to see him in a white uniform and he was standing on air. STANDING ON AIR!

With one smack the hollow diminished into nothing as Ulquiorra settled her down safely on the road.

"You. You got your power back! How?"

Ulquiorra thought back about his fight and realized the same thing happen to Ichigo and he finally understood why he came back.

"Someone important to me is worth protecting." He reply's as she tears up and hugged him tightly as he gasped.

Sadly smiling to himself where no one could see him he embraced her back.

"Ulquiorra?" She asks him that same night as they sat on the roof top and he was still in gear. "Yes?"

"Does this mean you are leaving?"

He doesn't answer and looks down. He thinks back on how life was here in the human world. It was quite fun here. He didn't remember what he did back in the barren sand and dark night.

"No. Unless I have to."

She sighed in relief but still she knew he was different. "Just promise me, if you ever decide to leave... you will without telling me goodbye."

"I won't leave. I have no reason to go back." He plainly says looking up to the moon.

"You promise me? I can't imagine a life without you, the way you are eases me is comforting. Your the peace I needed in my chaotic mind."

He was lost for words, was this a human way for showing love?

"I to."

He wanted to say more. He liked her. Loved her. Even if he wouldn't admit it now, there was a warmth in him he had never felt before and the feeling of being needed was something he might have yearned for.

"I promise you, I'm only yours. Even if there's a obstacle between us there's way we can break it."

She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder as he stiffen a bit and then relaxed.

He was home. Home wasn't a place for him but someone that accepted him for who he was.

It was you.

(Author note: idk why he's such a hard character to write for me. I know he seemed oc but I put in some thought of how he would be as a human.)

[yioh]

returning from the void to complain abt a drama that aired ages ago but ma hwiyoung and oh je from moment at eighteen were done so dirty and it will haunt me forever because they were such interesting characters... like the way they subtly hinted at oh je being gay & in love with hwi young was so fucking well written and he had the BEST build up ive seen in any kdrama only for there to be nothing after? also his relationship with hwi young was so layered and good because here you have a closeted boy in love with the misunderstood ‘villain’ of the story, all their little conversations almost always implied that they have so much more history than what was shown to us, like oh je talking abt how hwi young changed.... hwi young was probably a much more nicer kid when he was young and thats probably why oh je fell for him, so imagine how it must‘ve felt watching the boy you loved grow colder and more miserable and you can tell that something is wrong but you’re not sure if your feelings for him are even valid and okay so you’re just forced to watch him from a distance turn from ur golden lover boy into a shell of his former self.......... but what makes their relationship a game changer is hwi young has always showed a subtle interest in oh je, because even though it wasn’t loud and clear, oh je was always there for him, oh je always listened to him, oh je always asked him how he was and what he was doing all alone .... i know the drama portrayed hwi young as straight but god what a beautiful story it would be if we got to see hwi young, a kid who was abused and belittled since he was a child, grow and heal and fall in love with the most kindest boy who never stopped talking to him and gazing at him from a distance, even when he & everyone around him saw himself as a cruel person ........................................................... like the fact that whenever hwiyoung found himself at a dead end he always somehow ended up talking to oh je is such a lovely metaphor of their potential relationship because no one knows him better than oh je, the kid whose been in love with him since forever. the drama did such a genuinely beautiful job at portraying a closeted kid in high school, with all the gazes lost in the distance and the stuttering and little touches that feel so heavy and precious and all the hidden smiles and concerns that you could never voice. like oh je is such a beautiful character he’s so kind and he never has forgiven hwiyoung for all the wrong he did but he also never lost faith in him as a person, he knows hes a good guy, but he also knows that something isn’t right ...basically they had so much potential and the story and everything was building up to it but BAM we got nothing and i will forever be salty bec oh je and hwiyoung are characters with so so much to delve into that kids these days can relate to and not only would it have been so important but it would’ve been so interesting . also im mad at how they dealed w oh je getting outed and having his fucking ex be emotional abt it??? you don’t even give him a chance to be heartbroken that is such a cruel writing choice . they deserved better they deserved closure and compassion, as arguably 2 of the most vunerable characters on the show. now watch this fan edit and cry with me

[woolieshubris]

OK SO IM GOING TO WRITE SOME BACKSTORY THEN CLICK THE CUT TO SEE THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE WITH NO EDITING.

OK SO BASICALLY. At this point in the series, (season 1 had been out and season 2 kept getting hints dropped) every main love square ship had gotten their "scene", except for marichat. Marichat, argueably, was the (and still is) most popular ship on the show. Suddenly a still frame (or concept art?) was released of marinette and chat sitting on her balcony together looking out at the stars. This was quickly dubbed the "balcony scene" and many many many ficwriters quickly made fics of the scene, people made art for it, and people were overall, generally super f/cking hyped for it. Then, glaciator dropped, and reviews were... mixed to say the least. So here, presented in its full, unedited glory, was my hot 2016 take.

enjoy.

Yes. I will be talking about THIS episode. The episode so anticipated by shippers everywhere. The episode that was supposed to finally give marichat shippers a chance, and we ended up with this.

I hate this episode, for many many reasons, but do not worry. The balcony scene isn't one of them.

Here is my summary, (which is very long, so if you would rather just rewatch the episode feel free to do so)

The episode starts out, with chat asking lady out. Nothing out of the ordinary. She says no, but chat takes it as a maybe. (Which is already really stupid, but I'll let it slide)

After they wrap up the escapade, Mari goes to Andre the sweetheart ice cream man, and becomes disappointed when Adrian says he can't go. (Which is not his fault, so I'm letting this slide as well)

Mari feels like a third wheel and declines Andres ice cream because she's heartbroken? (You can get ice cream any day? And it wasn't Adrian's choice either, she should know this by now?)

Andres feelings are hurt.

Cut to chat, who is waiting for ladybug, and lady isn't showing.

Cut to hawkmoth who akumatizes Andre, and then cut to mari, who feels bad about the who ordeal.

Chat blows out candles angstily (even though lady clearly said no, AND thought he was joking) and decides that lady doesn't love him.

Mari is sad about Adrian and goes out to her balcony, balcony scene happens and chat brings Mari to his date he had planned.

Mari is surprised that chat hadn't been joking this entire time (ehh it makes enough sense) and now she feels double as bad.

Andre attacks.

Chat leaps into action and ladybug comes right after. Chat is angsty, and ladybug doesn't show any kind of remorse (what?)

She says sorry, but with no meaning. (maybe bad voice acting, so I'll let this one slide as well) chat is still mad. They soon make the discovery that he doesn't hurt couples, so lady asks if they could pretend to be a couple and chat says no. (Which makes sense) then lady like 1 minute later asks the same thing and chat says yes. (What why would he say yes? ) And they pretend to be a couple but it doesn't do anything to help them?

It helps them escape but they could have done that without pretending to be a couple? Anyways, they save the day and then lady comes to go see chats surprise. He offers her a rose, and lady says she only wants to be friends.

(Chat should have still been mad at her, since she never even said sorry properly, I mean I know I would have,) and chat smiles and says that's fine, then he blasts off.

We follow chat to his room and he's smiling in his bed. Plagg tells him it's ok to be heartbroken, and that a little cheese can help, but Adrian says he isn't heartbroken, and that he's glad she sees him as a friend.

Oof that summary was longer than expected, but it was hopefully shorter than the episode.

Ok, so now that we are all refreshed, I will now list m problems with the episode, in order to make it easier to fix.

First problem, Marinette is heartbroken over the ice cream.

We can easily fix this by making it a special day, like maybe it's a blue moon that night, and Mari wanted to see it with Adrien. It could be the same for Chat with Ladybug, they wanted to see the blue moon together. He takes the, "maybe, I have plans" as a, "sure I'll make it a plan" because he really really wants it to happen, maybe even have plagg mention it, say something along the lines of, "She said she had plans," and Adrien says, "She said maybe!" (I know they already say this, but it isn't portrayed very well in my opinion.

Problem two, Ladybug never says sorry, and chat doesn't care.

Honestly, throughout the entire episode, I was waiting for ladybug to give chat a hug and just say sorry properly. Throughout most of the episode, chat looks on the brink of tears, and lady acts like she can't see it, and chat forgives her almost instantly. It would have been much more interesting to see a chat begrudgingly doing as he's told, just to save Paris, and go home.

Problem 3, Chat isn't heartbroken.

As stated in the show, we don't ever see the sensitive side of chat noir, and the show seems to want to avoid the subject. Chat got friendzoned. He says he's happy to be lady's friend, but he always was, from the start. All of this buildup, only for it to be knocked down in a single episode. Adrien should have been devistated, but then again, this is one of those "reset" type of shows, where everything must resolve before the credits roll, and it becomes very obvious with the awkward transition. You can tell that they were planning to have him heartbroken in bed, mad at ladybug, but someone said, "kids don't want meaningful character exploration, they want happy endings!"

Ok, so now I write my script doctored version of this episode. Warning, it's pretty long.

Ladybug and chat are talking it up as they help the people get off the bus.

"So, you heard about the blue moon tonight chat noir?" Lady asks.

"Yeah, when there is a full moon twice in a month? It's very rare!" Chat says, explaining to all the kids what a blue moon is. "Well, m'lady, can you visit me tonight? You know, to see it together?" Lady shakes her head.

"I have plans," lady thinks it over for a bit however, "but maybe I can come." Chat looks at the time on his baton, and realizes he has to go back home, his piano practice is almost over.

"Gotta go, see you later ladybug!" He says, as he runs off. Lady goes home and realizes that's she's almost late to go meet her friends. She runs out the door and we cut to Adrien, who is texting Nino.

"Sorry nino, father said I can't come" he's talking as he's texting. Plagg flies by and says, "you didn't even ask your dad, how do you know he'd say no?"

Adrien responds, "I have plans with ladybug remember?"

Plagg rolls his eyes. "She said that she had plans."

Adrien looks at plagg and says, "she said maybe."

We cut away from Adrien and we now see a heartbroken Mari.

"It's the blue moon, the most magical night of all, and we were going to eat Andre's ice cream, the most magical ice cream in Paris!" Mari sighs sadly as she sits down on a bench. Nino shows her the text and says, "It's never adrien's fault, so don't blaim him for not being able to show."

"I know, I know." Mari stands up and they all start looking for the ice cream cart.

Cut to chat, who's has just finished setting up the date.

"I really hope she comes." Chat says this with certainty, showing his trust in ladybug. Without having to OUTRIGHT SAY IT. (cough cough episode 12 cough cough)

Cut back to mari, who is exhausted from the chase to find the cart, and salty about Adrien. She sees alya and nino holding hands as they get their ice cream, and looks at the ground while she sits on the bench, not wanting to see it. "We can never be like them" She says, salty. Andre notices this and gives her the ice cream.

"Perfect, just like your love!" Andre says, with a smile. Mari's twisted salty head decides that she doesn't love him, because she and adrien will never be like alya and nino, so when Andre is passing the icecream to Mari, she doesn't grab it, and it falls to the ground.

"I don't love anyone." Mari says, as she stares at the fallen ice cream. Under her breath Mari says, "because no body loves me." Mari looks up at Andre who looks very sad. She realizes what happened and runs to her house. Cut to chat, who is doing the candle thing he did before because that was a really good and powerful scene and I don't want to change it. Start balcony scene, and everything is the same up until the "reveal" of the surprise to ladybug. This time, she hugs him, and you see chats eyes tearing up as she friendzones him. He lets go of the hug prematurely, and smiles, putting the rose in lady's hair. He goes back home and no more cuts to chat or Adrien so we can let the viewers draw their own conclusions. Everything is the same up until when Adrien gets the ice cream. This time, Adrien looks a little happy/sad when Andre prepares him the ladybug ice cream. Happy because he knows he still loves ladybug, but also sad because he knows she will never love him in the same way.

I'm sorry for making you read that entire thing. If you made it through, please, tell me below, which version you like more, and I really want to see your criticism of both. I'd love to have a conversation about it.

[iwillgiveyoumyhappiness]

임창균, Im Changkyun

lostmyshame  asked:

Your Changkyun scenarios are so freaking cute! This boy is wrecking my life currently. May I request another one about him where he and the reader have been friends for few years and both were attracted to each other but too scared to ruin their friendship? And then on one rainy day their emotions take over? The literal physical need for each other, the desire to possess and belong, the fear of losing the most precious, all no longer concealable. Thank you ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Group: Monsta X (몬스타엑스)

Member: I.M.

(A/N): Read with this album by Paper Planet

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“Stop it,” she whispered into the dimly lit room, breaking a heavy silence that had taken over the usually very comfortable space of her living room. Her autumn-breeze breath fanned across hot cheeks, luckily hidden by the shadows cast by the rain drops dribbling down the windowpane. 

The skin that was so frightfully close to her own belonged to her friend—Im Changkyun. He hovered over her, a blurred silhouette before her eyes. He had two choices, as far as she saw it. 

Stay where he was and move no further, or back away before he did something he’d regret. 

They were friends, and that’s where their string of fate ended. 

At least, that’s what they would like it say. They would love it, of course, but simplicity is a luxury. One that their friendship was not blessed with. Their strings of fate were complicated and twisted, a baffling cipher of questions.

There were lines in a healthy friendship; ones that weren’t generally crossed. They thought they’d done a good enough job of that. Those lines were tempting and beguiling. They’d come to the very brink of them, but they’d never crossed them before.

There was the time their fingers brushed while walking, but instead of pulling away, they let it just keep happening. There were gazes that lingered for longer than they should have, hugs that lasted a second too long and moments where they would deny vehemently that they had any interest towards each other yet they would still be jealous if someone else got too close.

Despite how close they’d gotten before, they’d never stepped over that invisible barrier. But here he was... Two and a half steps closer to the personal bubble than was considered ‘friendly’.

He scanned her face, his eyes boring into her own. “What if I don’t want to stop?” he asked, voice equally as quiet. The whole scenario felt somewhat intimate. “What if I want to go farther? Reckless abandon, and all that crap.” 

She couldn’t find it within herself to answer—not yet, at least. Her mouth was dry and the room was spinning and it was hard for her to remember how they had gotten into this position in the first place.

She remembered the day they first met like it was yesterday, yet she couldn’t remember the events of a few hours ago, leading up to this moment. Maybe because it was so sudden, the way he’d pinned her to the couch.

Though, the way they’d first met was pretty sudden, too—quite literally bumping into each other at the super market. She supposed it suited their relationship well. Random, unpredictable, always running forward at a dizzying pace. 

It was never boring, she could say that much. 

Though, the days where thing were ‘boring’ between them happened to be her favorite days. Him working in the studio late at night, her crashing on the couch for no other reason than to keep him company and give her opinion on newer tracks, empty energy-drink cans and bowls of ramen scattered around haphazardly. 

Those were the best.

A day—somewhat like that scene—was the reason for the current situation.

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.

.

Maybe it was the way that she had sounded just a little bit off in her texts, or maybe it was the lack of emotion when he called her to ask about her day, but for whatever reason, Changkyun was on his way to her flat, rain splattering furiously onto his clear umbrella. 

He had a plastic bag filled to the brim with her favorite snacks, a couple movies she’d been dying to see and a new mug to replace the one he’d broken two weeks ago.

It was the least he could do.

He folded the umbrella, leaning it against the wall next to her door. With a rhythmic rap of his knuckles, one tailor-made just for the two of them, she came to the door, not even bothering to ask who it was. 

She already knew.

She looked exhausted—bags under her eyes and clothes disheveled more than usual. She gave a small, tired smile. “Hey, Kyun,” she said. “How are you?”  

His first instinct was the drop the bag and rush to her; give her the biggest, tightest hug. But that would be weird, wouldn’t it? There were boundaries to be respected, even in a close friendship.

“Better than you, it seems,” he said with a huff, blowing his too-long bangs away from his face. He scanned her face, concern knitting his eyebrows together. “Are you okay?” he asked. 

She shrugged, still smiling. “Not really,” she said, knowing fully well that she wouldn’t be able to hide it from him. “But it’s fine,” she continued. “I’m alive, and that’s what counts.”

“Did something happen?” he asked. She stepped aside, gesturing for him to come into the medium-sized apartment. “You look like crap.” 

She snorted. “Thanks, dude,” she said. She closed the door behind them. “Nah, nothing in particular,” she answered. “Today’s just a melancholy day. It happens sometimes.” 

Changkyun nodded understandingly, dumping the contents of his plastic bag onto the couch—save for the mug, which he pulled out before hand. He didn’t need to have her nagging him about another one.

“I get it,” he said calmly. He held out the mug, shaped like a cute sloth that said ‘Soon-ish’ on it, as she was a master-procrastinator. He’d always teased her for that. Whether it be a work assignment or something for college, she always waited until the last second to get it done. “Hopefully all of this stuff’ll help.” 

Her eyes lit up a little, a familiar light glittering in them. “You got a new one!” she gasped, snatching it from his hands. “And it’s even cuter than my old one!”

He shrugged and sniffed proudly. “What can I say? I have good taste.”

She rolled her eyes. “Screw you,” she said. 

“Hey! I brought snacks and movies!” he defended himself, crossing his arms. “By the laws of friendship, you can’t say ‘screw you’ to me if I do something nice for you!”

She scoffed. “And what rule is that, your majesty?” she asked incredulously.

“The one I made up just now, stupid,” he chuckled, flicking her forehead lightly.  

She smacked his hand away, laughing a little. “Quit it!” she said. She hugged the sloth mug protectively to her chest. “You’re not breaking another one.” 

Changkyun rolled his eyes. “You know that was an accident!” he groaned. He wasn’t really irritated. In fact, he felt a warm fuzziness creeping into his chest seeing her chuckle at his saltiness. He felt that way towards her whenever he saw her in this light—the one where he was the one making her smile and laugh. 

It felt good and right. Just... 

Lovely. 

That was a word that often sprung to his mind when he thought of her. But the word that would come straight after was always ‘friend’, so that would always snap him out of his thoughts and remind him to watch himself. 

Remind himself not to lose control. 

He shook his head a little, trying to clear his thoughts. “Do you wanna watch a movie and drink hot chocolate with me, or not?” he asked. 

She tilted her head like she was taking it into serious consideration. “Did you bring—?” she started.

“Cinnamon to go on top?” Changkyun interrupted. “Yes. Yes, I did, you weirdo.” 

She stomped her foot playfully. “It’s not weird, it’s tasty!” she defended herself. “You’d understand if you bothered to try it.” 

He snatched the mug from her, taking it into the kitchen. Sure, the feeling of their fingers briefly touching made his heart jump, but he could ignore it. “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he said. “Just go set up the movie; I’ll make the cocoa.” 

That was how it should be. 

Because they were friends. 

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.

She hoped that there wasn’t too much relief in her eyes when he showed up at her door. That’d be too obvious.

Honestly though, he was just what she needed on a sad-for-no-reason day, because he was her makes-me-happy-for-no-reason person. 

Everything from his dumb tracksuit with the bracelet on top of the sleeves, the messy hair that was flopping into his eyes and the resting bitch-face. 

Already, her heart felt a little, but she was just praying that he didn’t read into that too deeply. 

It didn’t help that he brought snacks and gifts. How dare he be this way? Knowing her so well, and whatnot. It was infuriating how easy he made it to love him. 

Her eyes kept wandering to his mess of hair, feeling the overwhelming need to run her fingers through it, but alas, she didn’t, 'cause that’d be weird.

When she greeted him with a quick hug, she couldn’t stop herself from caressing the hairs at the back of his neck, hoping that it wasn’t too noticeable. 

She barely took in everything he was saying, and she was beyond grateful when he changed the subject, making it easier for her to calm down and get sucked into the film. If she payed attention hard enough, maybe Chagkyun’s presence wouldn’t affect her so badly. 

Maybe she could feel the comfort, minus the stifling nervousness.  

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.

‘Stop staring at her,’ Changkyun kept telling himself. 

They were watching a horror movie together—one she’d been begging to see since it came out—and her eyes were fixed intently on the screen. The jumps scares didn’t freak her out, she just nodded along like, “Oh, I see. So that’s how it fits into the plot”, all the while, shoveling popcorn into her mouth.

All-in-all, not the most attractive scene, but still. His heart said, ‘Well gosh, that’s endearing’, and it was kind of pissing him off.

She gasped for the first time since the movie started, but it wasn’t because she was scared. It was because an ‘illuminating’ plot-point had just been revealed that the main character’s sister was actually his wife that’d been dead for twenty years, and she’d just been turned into a vampire and aging backwards, and—...it was a really dumb movie.

But the point was, she was enjoying it on a bad day, so that was all that mattered. He’d come to terms in his mind that he probably had a crush on her, but his pride (and fear) stopped him from making a definitive move.

He remembered watching a movie some time ago, before he’d met her. One of the quotes from it was: “A man can’t be just friends with a beautiful woman”. He remembered scoffing at that line, just because he thought it was ridiculous.

At first, he wondered why it was limited to ‘a beautiful woman’, but after meeting her and gradually liking her more and more, it dawned on him. 

‘A beautiful woman’ doesn’t apply to what society thinks at all. It applies to you and your own thoughts, because the person you love automatically looks beautiful. 

He’d found that out the hard way when they’d gotten off a rollercoaster together and she looked slightly dazed, majorly blissed-out, and her hair was tousled and tangled.

He’d spent about 30 minutes finger-brushing the tangles out, and to anyone that asked, he’d tell them that it was the most irritating, meticulous thing he’s ever had to do, but what was on the inside?

That truth was a different story. 

On the inside, that was the exact pin-pointed moment that he fell for her. Most people couldn’t tell you when they fell in love, but he definitely could. At least, when he realized it. 

It was that third Sunday in June when they were standing under that tree in the amusement park to avoid the sun while he untangled her hair with his skilled fingers. Despite the effort to avoid the rays, some still managed to stream in through the leaves, and it highlighted her in the most beautiful way. 

Her eyes looked more glittery than usual, her tangled hair had a shine to it and he could individually count each of her eyelashes. 

When he realized he couldn’t breathe in that moment, he admitted to himself that he probably had a crush on her, despite how much he’d like to prove that dumb movie wrong. 

“Kyun,” he heard, drawing him out of his thoughts. “Kyun!” She smacked his shoulder. “Did you see that ending?” she asked, eyes wide with surprise. “That was such a twist! I didn’t expect it at all!” 

He chuckled and shook his head, rubbing his shoulder. She had a bit of trouble controlling the strength of her hits. “What’s with you and loving low-quality films?” he asked. 

She shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “Maybe my palate isn’t refined enough, or maybe I don’t need things to be perfect to enjoy them.” She smiled. “There can be a lot of plot flaws, and the acting may not be the best, but the point is, it was made for entertainment. And it entertains me,” she finished, plopping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. 

He felt his heart pounding again, just because she was talking about something she liked. How annoying and stupid.

“Can you stop that?” he asked quietly.

She furrowed her brows. “Stop what?”

“Stop looking so kissable,” he said. 

Her eyes widened, and he could’ve sworn he saw her cheeks light up, too. “What’re you talking about?” she stuttered out. 

He moved a little closer, she moved a little farther. Finally, he grabbed her wrists, keeping her in place. “Do you like me?” he asked seriously, gathering all the courage that he was pretty sure he didn’t actually have.

He probably bluffed himself into bravery. 

She choked. “What—?”

He wasn’t quite sure how they ended up with him on top of her, pinning her down to the couch and pressing kisses to the corner of her lips while the rain pattered against the window, but he couldn’t really complain. 

If anything, the bundle of nervous energy in his stomach pushed him forward. He tried to read her expression. It looked like there were a million thought going on, running a mile a minute.

He leaned down farther, just to get a better look into her eyes.

“Stop it,” she whispered into the dimly lit room, breaking a heavy silence that had taken over the usually very comfortable space of her living room.

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Ah. 

So, that’s how they got there.

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“I’ll ask you again,” Changkyun said, interrupting her thoughts. His eyes looked almost desperate, in a way. Desperate for an answer, or something of the sort. “What happens if I don’t wanna stop here?”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, taking a deep breath through her nose. “Then I would say you should be more considerate,” she said firmly. “Think about how I feel in this situation.” 

“Turned on?” he offered. 

She smacked his side, making him flinch. “Don’t treat this like a joke!” she chided. “Can you be serious for one second?” 

“I am being serious!” he assured her, his grip tightening around her wrists. “Am I not sounding sincere enough for you? Do I have to be more forward—more clear? Well, guess what!” he said. He stared her dead in the eyes. “I know,” he spoke cryptically.  

She glared at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I know you like me like I like you,” he said simply. He wasn’t cocky about it. More matter-of-fact than anything else. 

She rolled her eyes, scoffing a little. “Don’t be an idiot—” she started. 

“Why haven’t you pulled away yet?” Changkyun cut in. She froze, no words leaving her half-open mouth. “I know better than anyone else; you hate being physically suffocated, so clearly... You don’t feel suffocated by me.” 

She swallowed thickly. “What’re you getting at?” she asked, trying to steadily meet his burning and heavy gaze. 

He tilted his head a little, almost like a shrug. “Maybe I help you breathe easier,” he said. “Maybe you trust me to be this close to you. Closer than anyone else ever has.” 

She frowned, looking off to the side. “You’re my friend,” she said. “One of my best friends—if not the best. I should hope I feel comfortable around you.” 

He huffed out a breath, the mint flavor on his tongue fanning out over her face. “Do you have something going on mentally, or do I just have to say it first for you to accept it?” he asked. 

She furrowed her brows. “What’re you talking about—?”

“I love you,” he interrupted, his eyes swimming with emotion and desperate. “I love you so much.” 

Her breath caught in her throat. Changkyun wasn’t one for cheesiness like this. In fact, he tended to avoid it at all costs. 

It felt strange. 

Different.

Not unwanted. 

“You are...” It looked like he was struggling to find the right words, which was odd for such a talented lyricist. He sighed. “My best friend, for one,” he said. With a small internal struggle, he met her eyes. “But you’re also a hell of a lot more than that. You’re one of the most unique things I’ve ever felt in my life. You’re like a goddamn emotional rollercoaster.”

He chuckled. “I don’t know when I started feeling this way for you. It was just all of a sudden,” he explained in a quiet voice. “Maybe it was ‘cause we kept touching hands on the subway—just on accident. Maybe it was ‘cause you started giving me goosebumps when you laughed because of something I said. Maybe it was ‘cause I gave you that piggyback-ride when you sprained your ankle and you whispered ‘thanks’ in my ear.”

His brows furrowed quizzically. “Or maybe it was ‘cause you’re the only person I’ve ever known that’s gotten me to fully enjoy a Disney movie. At any rate, it’s an impressive feat.” 

His grip on her wrists loosened up. “You piss me off more than anyone I know and I wanna strangle you 75% of the time, but at the same time, I know that I could never stay angry at you for too long.” Gently, he slipped a hand behind her back, pulling her up into a sitting position with him. 

It confused her how soft he was suddenly being, moving a socially acceptable distance away from her and letting her have some breathing room. He kept his hands to himself, folding them politely in his lap and sitting with his back straight. It was like he was meeting her parents, which was a strange thought in the first place.

“I feel like you can heal me when I’m the most screwed up I've ever been, and I know for a fact that you’ve got my back through thick and thin. You are my intense wave of happiness everyday, and sometimes, I’m a real jerk to you, just because you make me nervous. Despite how much I freak out ‘cause of you, you also calm me down better than anyone else,” he said with a deep breath. 

He played with his fingers before folding his hands neatly again. “I wanna be there for you, too,” he said, swallowing a visible lump in his throat. Despite how obviously wrecked he was inside, he never broke eye-contact. “But I’m really scared to do that without letting you know how I feel right now, ‘cause I feel like I’ll seriously mess up one day if I keep it to myself. Like I’ll push myself on you when you don’t want me.” 

She pulled her knees to her chest slowly, eyebrows furrowed in hesitant concentration. “And why is that?” she asked, the first words out of her mouth in quite some time. Her voice sounded almost hoarse. 

His tongue darted out to wet his chapped lips. “Because I think you’re beautiful,” he said, making her heart skip a beat or two. “And incredibly sexy,” he added with a shrug. “That’s not very... Best-friendsy, now is it?” 

She let out a small laugh, even though her head was spinning. As expected of Changkyun. Only he could make her laugh in a situation like this. 

So many thoughts ran through her mind. Half of it was wondering why he was suddenly so open and emotional, but the other half was questioning her own emotions. Her pride. 

There was a certain level of not wanting to give in—not wanting to break the promise she’d made to herself when she’d first realized her feelings for him. She had assured herself vehemently, “There are other people out there. It isn’t just Changkyun. You shouldn’t be so captured by him”. 

Yet even after all that convincing, he was still the only one she could see. 

The whole world passed her by in a fit of shifting glory every single day, but it still paled in comparison to him. In a way, the idea of getting lost without a compass to guide her was less scary than getting a step closer to him.

They say: “The higher you are, the farther you have to fall”. The feeling of knowing that Changkyun felt the same about her put her on top of the world, and isn’t that about as high as one could go?

With that thought in mind, it was terrifying to imagine, “What if it doesn’t last?” They say that about first loves—that they never last. They’re enjoyable, nerve-wrecking, a learning experience, and they teach a heart how to feel. 

Really feel, that is.

But what if one day, that feeling faded, and they were left with nothing but a wilting memory of each other? Would she be able to stand that?

She searched his eyes, raking over the dark orbs that she’d become so familiar with. She could read those eyes. She could tell when he was being sincere, and this was definitely one of those times.

So what if it hurt a little bit in the end? 

They would be each other’s hurt. Maybe she could set aside her pride for his love—for his pain. Nothing is set in stone, happiness and sadness alike.

“No, I guess it’s not,” she said, clearing her throat. “I guess we’re not best friends anymore.” 

Fear lit in his gaze, like a question of what he said wrong. 

“We’ll just have to date, then,” she said, scooting forward a little, just enough so that their knees lightly touched. “‘Cause for whatever reason, I’m not willing to let your ass out of my sight.”

.

.

.

Let us pray for non-crappiness. 🙏 

Thank you so much for requesting this, @lostmyshame​! I had an absolute blast writing it, and I hope that you enjoyed reading it. I honestly haven’t been writing very much recently, ‘cause life has been busy, so I’m trying to get back into the groove of things. I hope this wasn’t too disappointing, considering it was kind of my ‘practice round’. 

Stop by anytime—it was a pleasure having ya!

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Salty

Part Two

Shios quirk. Fear Touch if she has skin to skin contact with someone she can make them see scary things causing them to be terrified. Their eyes get as big as hers abd a Grim Reaper can get inside their heads and lead them to their death.

The walk home was a little long plus a subway ride to the far end of the city. Shio sat down on the mostly empty subway with her bag on her lap, the tips of her shoes touching rubbing together thinking.

Did she waste her time in General Studies? What if she pushed herself to focus more, would she be in the Hero Course? Shio leaned back closing her eyes listening to the rails. Could she.. be a Hero? She already had a sketch of her costume; it was a corset piece with a special black robe tied around her neck that traveled down to her feet to hide her exposed skin. A small smile appeared on her face just thinking about it. Sometimes Shio could see her quirk in her head, a little dog with stitches all over it running around excited. He wasn't scary. None of the images were, at least not to her.

“Miss..?”

Her eyes shot open to see a man looking at her. “I think the last stop is next”

“Th..tha..” she got up running off the train as soon as it stopped, heaving hard.

“I almost fell asleep ..” Shio flipped her hair to one side and started her walk home.

••

Shio was greeted by her family's seven cats , all meowing loudly to show how happy they were to see her. Only one would let her pick them up though, it was a white cat with one green eye and one blue one. “Baby.. how are you?” She asked petting the cat. . “Mom and dad are not home yet..?” They always got home late..

Shio set the cat down on her desk and pulled off her uniform and leggings for some blue high waisted shorts and a t shirt with cats on them. She turned her laptop on to see that the MMO game was done installing. As soon as she clicked the icon Baby jumped onto her lap getting comfortable. Shio shifted to sit indian style to accommodate her and the cat.

The game was a MMO fantasy type with character creation and tons of quests and of course skins to buy or roll. She was just starting out and she the choice of Healer,Attacker, or Witch/Wizard. She chose Healer and a giant purple hat with a matching purple robe and curly black boots with big gold buckles on them , her hair was down to her back and black in one long braid. Since she chose Healer she started off a little far behind everyone else in her party. It was random till you reached level 15, then you could make a guild or join one. Everyone was nice to her in the chat but she did not say too much, she used the emotes more than anything.

It was a few hours later and she had only reached level 10 , Baby was still on her lap and her parents were home now. They peaked into her room and Shio said Hello, answered the endless questions till they were satisfied and left.

Most people in the party left, it was just her and one other person whose username was Dust. Their character was an Attacker in what looked like really rare gear; it was armour that had a shine to it with a gold crown on its head tilted to the side. They played together till about 9 at night. She even saved him a few times.

🗡thanks

🧂No problem! Thank you for the exp help

🗡mhm. You did good , can I send you a request?

🧂sure heh.

(Notification)

(Click)

🗡is that you?

🧂huh? Yeah , heh.

It was a medium circle above her profile that displayed her character info with a picture of her in it. Sitting criss cross with Baby on her lap sleeping.

🗡Hmm. Pretty

🧂o-oh uhm.. thank you!

Shio felt her heart jump in her chest

🗡Will you be on tomorrow?

🧂yes around 4 maybe.

🗡ah, okay then.

🧂ill catch you tomorrow!

🗡. Sure.

Shio clicked off the game and placed her hand over her chest, she leaned back trying not to giggle at the thought of making a friend .. but still.. it was nice.

Meanwhile, Shigaraki was still playing the game, pausing every now and then to look at her picture till he actually saved it.

••

Shio felt nice for the first time in a long time. Her heart all aflutter over meeting someone even if it was online. Now she had something to look forward to everyday besides leaving school. Shio cuddled her pillow in bed falling asleep with a dumb smile on her face.

In the morning she was woken up by her mother.

“Shio , honey.”

Shio rolled over , her hair falling in her face.

“Time for school”

“Uhnn..” she pulled herself up in bed on her arms giving her mother a tired/annoyed look. “Fine..”

It always took Shio a long time to get ready for school, everyday she was losing motivation to even show up. She was sitting on her floor in front of a mirror braiding her hair thinking about it. Could she even drop out? She rolled her eyes at the thought. As if her parents would allow that. ‘Find a nice Pro Hero at UA and settle down’ is what they would say. But that was easier said than done.

The subway ride was crowded this morning and Shio was forced to use one of the handles in the middle of the walk way. It was okay for the most part.

Shigaraki stepped onto the subway in all black taking a seat in the corner of the subway . Looking all around he spotted a purple haired girl who seemed to be leaning on her arm looking sad. Hm. A UA student? Was that her? He tilted his head watching her while pulling his burner phone out to look at the picture and then her a few times. Same hair, same eyes. It was her. Well his day just got interesting.

Shigaraki kept his eyes on her the whole ride , he was getting off at the same stop so why not. He had a little plan for UA…

Shio was still leaning on her arm looking at her phone scrolling the internet . Her search list consisted of:

Touch based quirks

Skin to skin quirks

How to control skin to skin quirks

Quirk Marrages

Her parents wouldint actually do that tonher right..? She was their daughter. Maybe Aizawa could help her with her quirk today. The subway screeched to a stop and Shio put her phone in her bag getting off the stop and making her way up the long hill to UA.

Shigaraki followed her close by watching her posture, her movements. That uniform was too big for her. The sleeves were too long . Was she in the Hero Course? What was her quirk? So many questions. He hung back when he noticed a group of kids all huddled together , they seemed to be waiting for someone.

Popular huh? Well look at you. He thought to himself tilting his head.

Shio walked past the group stepping into the UA grounds and Shigaraki clicked his teeth in annoyance. Okay maybe not. Well he would see you again soon enough. He pulled his burner phone out again , this time dialing Kurigiri. “Im here, be ready in a hour or so”

[strawberryybird]

So whats your favorite thing about each of your fe3h favs? Anything you could just go on a long rant about for any of them? or interactions between them that you wish had happened or wanted to happen.

Waking up in the morning and going through all of the drunk blogging and “-thank-u-for-weathering-my-deep-need-to-be-liked-and-given-attention-off-main-I-guess” if this isn’t a whole mood on its own I don’t know what is. Anyways it sounds like you had fun and it was definetly fun reading everything. I hope you are feeling okay the day after everything. And to tack on a random question which fe3h character would you want to get drunk with if it was just the two of you?

Hi Hello!! thank u for enjoying my drunk blogging !!! and for the asks!!! (and the lovely comments on my fics actually hi there ur wonderful!!!) i’m currently cursing the damage i’ve done to my sleep schedule and suffering under my (truly deserved) hangover lmao ;p apologies u don’t get drunk me, only uncaffeinated hangover me, but we talk to the same degree and make the same spelling errors lol

ah yes.. im a fountain of moods (all of u still with me here are saints hhhh)

ok content time:

the second one first: i absolutely want to get drunk with ferdinand von aegir. the man’s a hop, skip and a vodka shot away from a mess. i love him. he’d be full of conversation and would buy the rounds every time as a true nobleman should !! he’d probably be really good at instigating drinking games but horrible at playing them.. i love party gay ferdie von aegir.

i’m going to LIMIT the faves i list because truly i love them all very much but i have to at least pretend i have some restraint and i don’t want to make this even More of a wall of text it’s going to become . SO 

edit: ok i started writing this at like. half ten pm. when the fuck did it become monday. 

edit edit: Disclaimer time: these are my conclusions and my conclusions alone. I’m not saying I’m objectively right or correct. I’m very much approaching this from an English Lit-ish point of view because that’s just how I look at a lot of media. I’m not asserting my opinions or conclusions as the only viable to interpret this media, and if anything I say offends you then I am sorry, it was not my intention but I acknowledge that I have hurt you. This is not the exhaustive list of my thoughts on the whole thing, there’s a lot more depth and detail I didn’t go in to.

My favourite thing about Edelgard is the Everything, but notably I really love her proud nature and how in VW it quite directly gets her *spoilered*, and in CF it’s integral to her success (bc it’s her own rigidity within herself that keeps her standing i think) and I Like Tragic Characters (and it’s very elinor dashwood). because it’s one of the qualities that can throw her character into a villainous light & it’s really interesting !! but at the same time.. it’s not quite ‘pride’ purely, and it’s kinda the wrong word. it’s some mixture of determined/stubbon, anger, self-reliance, and that really hard veneer of personality u develop when you’re around people who aren’t healthy for you to be around, and the very very critical need to be right about the choices you made because the weight of the  consequences would kinda ruin you if you weren’t. (the dean winchester effect huh) and wrap that up together with a big scoop of ‘i believe my way is right’ (’and my way Has to be right’) and then u get a lot of what i LOVE about Edelgard’s character

My favourite thing about Dorothea is really how she was the character that Hated the war. genuinely the contrast between white clouds dorothea & timeskip dorothea Breaks My Heart EVery Time I See Her !!!!! that and Spoilers!!! (her last words in AM unrecruited is edelgards name and i literally had to stop and cry about it for five minutes.) she’s one of the characters that post-war doesn’t have a Massive political stake in the war - like there’s her anger towards the current class system (another reason i bloody love her PLEASE give me angry feminine characters) but i think it’s her bonds with edie (or byleth&whoever if recruited) that keep her actually fighting in the war & it’s kinda different and i like that (actually i think she parallels/sends up/contrasts really really nicely with mercedes in that way)

my favourite thing about Marianne is just everything. how she finds worth within herself if you play VW (and the very very harrowing hc that she didn’t if you don’t), how she’s full of a quiet rage for the crest system but you eek it out of her as you play the game. how she’s still loved by the deers despite her appalling mental health (fight me on that canon) and the game essentially has her ‘save’ herself by finding worth and life within herself. i love her so much ok. (i also love her because she committed identity theft.. she and i share a name with the second dashwood sister oho (but i don’t use that name on the internet hhh) (also because my favourite shakespeare play is king lear (no really it is), my birthday is in red wolf moon too, i used to have very long hair i wore in a plait most days for school, little 11 and 17 year old me acted Exactly like white clouds marianne did & genuinely i love marianne von edmund to pieces but God it hurts to see her in game sometimes bc her journey mirrors a lot of mine & i love this character. so much.) WOW that was a lot. am i sure im not still drunk

so claude is not only one of my favourite characters in the whole damn game, but also shares the name of one of my favourite painters so i simply have to love him ;p however i can’t give a proper opinion on him yet because i haven’t finished playing deers yet :( but !! i love how (as is with all the lords) he has a veneer of personality to him, but in contrast to Edie where it’s quite seemless with her actual personality, Claude’s veneer of personality seems very opaque and plastered on. i may or may not just be wildly imagining things but he’s a very different personality in his lower supports with Lysithea than he is in his B support with Marianne, for instance. like, i love characters that are obviously a lot more socially intelligent than i could ever be, and claude is *chef kiss* BEAUTIFUL ON EVERY LEVEL.

i’d wax lyrical about Ingrid too but honestly there’s many better people out there with the good ingrid content than i could do. shortly, i love the New Take on the pegasus knight archetype she brings, and i really like her perspective on femininity !!! she’s such a good character & she brings so much to the game and to the pegasus knight character too!!!!! she’s such a bright personality and altho i wish so many of her supports weren’t centred around make-up (hhh dorogrid fans i pray for you), i think she’s really going to pave the way for whoever’s next in that character slot. (like, you can’t tell me she’s not an offshoot of Phila from awakening lmao)

no ok i’m adding in Hubert because i love this vampire man. i really really love the devoted servant archetype and we all know i love edelgard’s tragedy. and i love hubert. so much. the way he enables edelgard in pretty much everything is just so so interesting to think about, and i love his intensity about it. he’s like the ever present reminder that edelgard’s will kinda has to work otherwise the potential consequences of her being wrong are personified in hubert imo. it’s only touched on in VW in his letter but like. god i wish we got more but it’s a wonderful starting block. i love his comic relief as well, he’s such a fun character to have !!!! and also i have so many hubert fics in my bookmarks that just Get him. i love hubert. oh i love hubert.

i’m going to cut myself off there because . that’s just a LOT. 

as for characters i would sell a limb to have them talk to each other, honestly it’s Edelgard/Marianne. (and only 51% because of all the projection i have going on with those two ok don’t at me i  k n o w). that support chain would be too powerful and honestly i wish they had one becuauese it would have gone so Hard about what Edelgard was doing and what Marianne thought about it, and how they connected over it & they probably would have had their supports set over cups of tea or smth .. it would have been amazing. 

(but i’d rather have nothing than an awakening-level-content support where they talk about eating fucking bear meat instead of talking about how they grew to trust each other with and their ability to save the fate of the world HUH AWAKENING. (i’m salty about fredrobin forever)

also hilda/dorothea supports . we were robbed. they’re best friends and you can’t actually tell me otherwise. they run the disaster bi chat of garreg mach. honestly i just would Love a support chain for them that starts with them talking about self care routines and something really small like accessories or perfume and it goes into how self-esteem and how dorothea has to find the same worth in herself as hilda so easily can. (hilda’s the queen of self esteem she’s a babe) and in CF they could have dialogue and then we cry about it. and in SS they talk about how they both chose their place with Byleth and not at edie/claude’s side like i’m just free balling here it could be Anything and i’d love it. 

also big shocker .. dorothea/marianne supports . they both hate themselves in their profile CAN THEY PLEASE CHAT. 

also i accidentally fell in love with the claude/edelgard ship and i desperately need them to interact on the same level that edie and dimitri get to because.. aren’t there supposed to be three main characters huh intsys .. and like i get what the game goes for with two of the lords embroiled in a personal war against each other at the heart and the third actually finding something close to the truth because he’s not involved in age old grudge matches but at the same time That’s one of the things that really really falls flat for me in the game. dimitri’s villain is edie, edie’s villain is big dragon wife, claude’s villain is the lack of communication that everyone in fodlan suffers from apparently. lack of communication and lies. ymmv with what im saying rn but i would have preferred if all three lords had strong personal ties to each other and in Each Route it was brought up. or just snip dimitri’s dialogue out of CF because i have beef with how that WHOLE moment went down on so many accounts hhhh honestly it makes me angerey to think about lol

.. back on topic- can the lords pls talk to each other because it would be SO interesting in white clouds and i like seeing how their personality presentations clash

also . can i marry manuela yet. my crops are dying here.

.. im so sorry about this but it’s midnight and i’m too tired to edit so. have this. thank you so much for the questions!!!! very kind (and brave) of you to ask me!!!!! i had a lot of fun writing all of this & as always if anything you didn’t quite /get/ i’m happy to re-explain myself!! :)

[xlittlelionhamiltonx]

To Me Belongeth Vengeance

{{happy belated bday, @prodigyofprincetoncollegex !! I love you dearly!}} 

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Humbly. Is man ever humble? Does man ever trust in God and His divine plan? 

No. No... humankind was yet a child, stumbling with every step and crying loudly when it fell and scraped its knee. Humankind was a mess, unsure and afraid, and continually disappointing its Father... not that He would ever admit to that...

Sacrilege, Alexander. Your Father is purity and honesty incarnate.

And still... people kill. They hurt and they maim and they torture... they do all that they are instructed not to do, and still, they thrive. 

Why do you not strike them down, Father? Why do you let them go on? 

“Ah!” Alexander curls in on himself, one hand pressed against the wound drawn so haphazardly upon his abdomen, the knife in his free hand shaking violently. He has overstepped. He has sinned, if in thought, alone, and he has beckoned this punishment. 

“God does not ask for perfection. He does not abandon His children for their doubts... for their questions...”

Alex perks up a little, blinking his eyes open and focusing on the peaked wooden ceiling above the empty choir loft. Father Burr seems to have foregone the Old Testament. He chooses not to preach fire and brimstone, though Alex knows that is what he lives and breathes. 

“No father could condemn his own child’s curiosity. Our Father is a good Father, brothers and sisters; he would not discourage the wandering thoughts that He, Himself, has made our minds capable of producing.” 

Does He not, then, Father Burr, condemn His children for taking advantage of the capability he has put in our hands to kill? 

Alex is panting, labored breaths, chest rising and falling like the ocean’s wicked tide. He drops his head over to the side, sweat dripping across his features in tiny, salty rivulets. He blinks his dark eyes a few times, clearing his vision as he attempts to focus on the pale, unseeing eyes that greet him. 

“He loves you for being all that you were created to be. He loves your bravery and ambition, your intelligence and your hope. Unconditionally. As only a Father can.”

“He sounds quite convincing for not believing a word of it, hm?” Alex’s hushed question is met with the cold silence of the dead. He regrets that he had to take action here, knowing Aaron abhors such graphic fits of violence. But it is a weeknight mass, quiet and held in absence of the choir, the pianist seated just near the altar so she might double as a reader for tonight’s scripture. 

The man had offered him no choice. Alexander had often seen him sitting upon a bench near the playground adjacent the church, watching the children play until the last had gone home. Alex had noticed, he had felt that familiar dread that raised the fine hairs upon his nape, and he knew that the matter needed his attention. 

His perch upon the roof of the chapel was typically overlooked by all but the priest whom called the sanctuary his home, and even he was keen to leave Alexander to his own devices. 

God’s will. He trusts in God’s will, not in you. 

It is a warm summer evening, but he still wears long pants and sleeves, covering every twisted scar and elegant scrawl painted upon his brown flesh. He is accustomed to the heat, considering where he grew up, and he pulls his sleeves down a little more, hood up as he studies the scene before him. 

It was only his second day minding this odd man, and already his is given justification for his suspicion. But he is not satisfied. He is not pleased with himself for having faith in God’s word. No... when he sees the man approach a young boy, handing him what appears to be a chocolate bar from his pocket before beckoning him away from the other kids, Alexander is angry. He is disappointed and disenchanted and so goddamn sad, so goddamn heartbroken... and he speaks to his Father... his Lord... the one for whom he protects these broken, ugly creatures...

“I cannot fix them, Father. I cannot vanquish all these wayward lambs. My God, you would have no flock left to watch.” He feels the heat behind his eyes and he fights it angrily, clenching his teeth and rising up from his perch. 

“But let thy will be done.” He drops from the rooftop with unnatural ease, crouching only a handful of seconds before he rises and makes his way toward the nefarious acts being committed. 

It takes him only a moment to reach the pair. He ignores the indignant look on the man’s face as he pulls the boy aside and tells him to return to his friends.  The child is already retreating when Alex finds himself in pursuit of the adult, the man having taken the opportunity to run, as men do when faced with the truth.

It could not even be labeled a fight, so short was the struggle. And Alex, left with a limp body and adrenaline pumping, had no choice but to lug the man up to the choir loft. Mass would begin any moment, after all, and he could hardly burden Aaron with a murder committed upon the estate. 

He murmered to the unconscious form as he moved, more than accustomed to this art of deception.

“I got you buddy, just a little further and you can sleep off that Irish dinner of yours...” 

He is grateful that almost no one crosses their path, and that even fewer take much interest in them. They manage to make it in through the back entrance and a quarter of the way up the stairs without incident. But God does work in mysterious ways, does he not?

It is then, surrounded by naught more than the distant sound of lambs eager to atone, shifting in their pews, and that old, musky smell that somehow settles as a permanent guest in well-loved temples, that Alexander’s plans are upset by the sharp, biting tip of a blade.

He cries out only briefly, clamping a hand over his mouth as he throws the man off of him, a pale fist clenching weakly at the fabric of his shirt. 

“Fucking die, you piece of shi-” 

The pervert is making his attempt at another meek thrust toward Alex’s neck, and the raven-haired man supresses the urge to pull back, instead pushing forward, forcing the attacker to stumble back, foot slipping off of the step and throwing him off balance long enough for Alex to land both palms solidly against his chest, sending him toppling down the stairs. 

His body hits the door that closes off the stairway from the foyer, and Alexander hopes that the noise is being drowned out by the chiming of the church bells. He wastes no time catching his breath, rushing down the steps and reaching forward to lock the door as he had neglected to before. A few, deep breaths, he gives the wound gifted him a quick assessment before leaning down and checking the man for signs of life. 

But his eyes are open and lacking the soul’s spark, his chest is still and his neck is bent at a notably unnatural angle. 

“No last rites for you, I’m afraid.” He exhales softly, picking up the fallen blade and tucking it away before gritting his teeth and hoisting the man up and over his shoulder, pushing down the pain of exertion and moving slowly up the stairwell. 

And that was how he ended up here, as he is, flat on his back, gasping for air and contemplating his next move. He had no worries about being rid of the corpse... once he had managed to remove it from this holy institute, at any rate. Which could prove to be a slightly tricky task if he hoped to avoid being discovered. 

“When we bow our heads in prayer and contemplation, I encourage you all to reflect upon the questions you have. What in the scripture gives you pause? Is there a question that you have told yourself one mustn’t dare ask? If so, now is the time.” 

“I have a question.” There is a new voice, deep and gruff and noticeably agitated. The creaking of wood indicates that the congregation is shifting in their pews, turning to identify the owner of this voice. 

“And I am here to help you find the answer, my son.” 

“I sure hope you can, Padre.” The voice is moving, the pews groaning as their occupants continue to follow the man’s path toward the altar. 

“See, I saw someone draggin’ my brother into this church just a few minutes ago, and I took a gander about the place while you was preachin’, but I didn’t see ‘im anywhere. You wouldn’t happen to know how to answer that mystery, would ya?” There are a few seconds of heavy silence, and it seems even the congregation is holding its breath, listening, waiting, right along with Alex. And when the man does speak again, the voice is quieter, more menacing, and the words make Alexander’s heart skip and his blood boil. 

“I hope you do, because I’d really, really hate to have to kill a man of God.” 

Alexander is up in a heartbeat, peering over the rail, doing what he can to stay cloaked by the shadow of the dim loft. What he sees only aggravates him further. The man is huge and looks as rough as he sounds, and he is towering over Aaron, standing mere inches before him. There is a spark of pride in Alex’s chest when he notes how steady Aaron appears, unwavering and unafraid. 

“I am afraid that I have seen nothing out of the ordinary this evening. But, if we were all to assist you, I am certain we could find your brother. Was he ill? Is there a chance this person was attempting to help him?” 

As he speaks, Alex wracks his brain for a solution to this little problem, a way to remain unseen and unheard and still put a stop to this man before he can do anything regrettable. 

“Not a good time to play dumb, priesty.” He moves forward, reaching out and clasping Aaron’s shoulder, stoking the fire burning in Alexander’s belly. 

And he knows what needs to be done. He knows how to save the priest and punish the sinner. And who better to do it than a ghost? What has he to fear? 

He crouches down, crawling to the lifeless body and ripping open the man’s shirt. He retrieves the dagger from his waistband, using it to carve into the man’s chest, no less certain in his action than he would be if it were pen to paper. When he is finished, he tucks the blade away, quickly pulling one shoe from the man’s foot, ignoring the pain and the sweat that is dripping down his face as he drags the lifeless pedophile back toward the railing. 

Once finished, he stands and takes in the scene unfolding on the altar below. It is not favorable, to say the least. The man is still near Aaron, still close enough to be touching him, but now he is staring out at the frightened church-goers, a twisted smile on his lips and a mania in his eyes. Aaron, despite how terrified he must be, somehow manages to look entirely at peace and in control of the situation. 

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

He needs to act now. He is the power upon which Aaron relies. He is the deliverance the man has preached. He mustn’t leave room for doubt.

“I will ask you one more time, and only one more, where -”

The words are interrupted by the thud of a shoe hitting the floor, the man’s focus quickly shifting toward the object in question. After a moment of confusion, recognition settles over his features, and he releases Aaron with little thought, moving forward and crouching down to retrieve the footwear. He turns it in his hand, looking around and then, finally, up. 

He hardly has the time to draw in a breath before the heavy body of his dead brother is crashing down upon him, pinning him down and drawing out a pained grunt. Alexander follows closely behind, landing with practiced ease, his hood pulled down over his eyes, head bowed and body crouched low as he speaks.

“Go. All of you.” He rises slowly, aggravated by the stunned silence surrounding him as he moves toward the struggling terrorist. 

“Go now!” A few gasps are followed by the sound of the creaking pews and rustling fabric and hurried footsteps, the people rushing to heed his command. He is upon the violent man just as he manages to push his brother’s body off of himself, his eyes barely able to lock onto Alex’s face before the blade has opened his throat, the blood flowing freely while the man chokes on it.  

Even as the man struggles to hold onto his meager life, Alex has ripped open his shirt and set metal to flesh, sketching out the scripture in violent crimson. 

Ne prohibueritis eos!

He steps away from the quickly dying heretic, setting forth in readjusting the cooling corpse of his equally evil brother, making certain that the first responders to the scene will not overlook His message. 

Mea est ultio.

“Forgive them, Father; they know not what they do.” Alexander turns to meet Aaron’s eyes, the air leaving his lungs when he sees the look on the young priest’s face. 

He had been wrong to do this. He had thought Aaron ready to bear witness to the wrath of the Almighty, but now... 

Aaron looked lost. Confused. Terrified. It wasn’t what Alex had wanted for him. Why did he not feel elated? Why was he not in awe of this divine intervention to which he’d borne witness? 

“Be not afraid, Aaron.” Alex rises. He approaches the stunned man carefully, his own dark eyes made darker by the adrenaline, his heart pounding in his chest and his pain all but forgotten. 

“These animals at your feet... they hunted the purest of God’s flock. They stole innocence and planted seeds of hatred.” 

He can hear the sirens approaching, and he knows he has little time. 

“Aaron.” No more than a whisper. He reaches out and trails his fingertips over the priest’s cheekbone, finally gaining the attention he’s been seeking. Aaron looks at him as though he is only just becoming aware of his presence, reaching up to grip his hand as he shakes his head, eyes quicly assessing the taller man’s body. 

“Alexander - you’re injured.” 

“And time will heal me, as it does all wounds.” He squeezes Aaron’s hand, chuckling quietly when the man seems to remember himself, pulling carefully away and taking a small step back. 

“You need a hospital.” 

“And you need to have faith.” Alex doesn’t regret the bite behind his words, even when Aaron flinches and looks away. 

The sirens are much too close now, and Alexander has wasted too much time tending to the priest’s shaken nerves. 

“Pray tonight, Aaron. When dawn arrives, so, too, shall your answer.” 

He heads toward the priest’s quarters, knowing he can escape from there unseen. He doesn’t look back as he retreats, but he sends up a quick prayer of his own. 

“Let him be loyal. Let him be of good faith. Stay his tongue, and stay my blade. Or, come tomorrow, I shall be anointed in blood once more.” 

[tellywoodtrash]

kwk lb: aamir khan

every time karan calls this dumbass show of his NATIONALLLLLLLLL TELEVISION, i lose 3 years off my life.

uhhhhhhhhhh karan, you're not a millenial either.

god i cringe every time he tries to appropriate 'millenial culture'. ffs, you're like a decade outside the range.

also fomo is not a disorder, gtfo.

aditya chopra sounds like he's living my his best life.

what do these confessions of his have to do with the damn guest?????

lol thugs as a diwali release. aamir and srk switched their festivals this year.

gotta say aamir looks good. pretentious af, but good.

LMAO SACHAAI SEEDHE BAAHAR KI BRO IM JUST HERE FOR PR.

ugh karan hyping thugs ainvayi mein.

yeah you should be nervous about this movie, aamir. it looks like a spectacular trashfire. oh it'll make money, hundreds and hundreds of crores, but looks like a steaming hot heap of absolute trash.

can't believe aamir and srk have stooped to these kinda garbage movies now.

lmao karan not buying that aamir didn’t do dangal just coz he was “appeasing a certain sensibility”.

so basically a straight ripoff of jack sparrow. like, in every single way.

ugh karan stop kissing ass with the “progressive” shit.

yeah the home situation with reena/kiran is nothing new or interesting, pls move on.

ofc his kids want to be in the movies. do any of their kids not?

damn he sounds like a harsh critic. poor junaid.

UGH I DON'T GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK ABOUT WHAT THESE TWO MEN HAVE TO SAY ABOUT #METOO.

“it's sad that women have had to come out and speak about it to have created this environment.”

YEAH. IT IS. AND WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT IT, ASSHOLES? you knew this shit was happening. you always knew. and you did shit. and now for you to sit here and talk about it and gain cool progressive ally points, literally fuck outta here.

forget that song, dil as a movie itself is a misogynist fucking nightmare. he almost rapes her, and then at the last minute doesn't, AND SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM. FOR NOT RAPING HER. LIKE....................

uh huh “SHOCKED” i’m sure.

that it came out. not that it happened.

omfg this conversation is everything i hate about this topic. WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE PREY ON YOU? YOU'RE AT THE FUCKING TOP OF TOTEM POLE. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU THINK, AFTER HEARING ACCOUNTS ABOUT SOMEONE, THAT OH HE DIDN'T BEHAVE THAT WAY WITH ME, SO HE ISN'T A PREDATOR? it's like saying oh charles manson didn't murder ME, so he's not a murderer. chutiyaaaa hai kya?

aaaaaaaaaaaaand he's walking away with the credit for “taking action”. amaze. 

and karan and his fucking tone-deafness. jfc what kinda delusion. what it must be like to live life as a privileged man with immense power.

please you fuckers are sleeping well at night no matter what. give me a break.

i'm feeling veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy stabbyyyyyy right now after this fuckall performative garbage of a “segment”.

great sycophantry (that’s a word right?) towards bachchan now. ugh.

yeah bachchan does seem to have that sanki uncle persona, where if he calls, you’re like shit i’ve fucked up. esp. with his saltyass tweets on how no one will return his bday sms's/tweets or some shit. like get over it, grandpa.

ok aamir's pre-release “disorder” sounds like a right fucking nightmare.

blah blah blah is there any juicy goss this ep (that hasn't already been outed in the promos/previews) or should i stop watching already?

karan, if someone is playing THAT hard to get, then you should take the hint that they DON'T WANT to come. 

strong fraternity feeling uh huh. not at all a PR photo op.

yeah of course you and your mid-life crisis don't see any difference between you+srk/ranveer+ranbir

HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU PLUG THE DAMN MOVIE KARAN. WE FUCKING GET IT. THUGS IS RELEASING THIS WEEK. LORD.

ugh this phone game sounds dumb af. it's like the phone a friend in kbc, except utterly pointless.

sorry too much second-hand embarrassment at the prospect of this only. fwding.

koffee shots - aka we couldn't find anyone to come with you in this episode coz no one likes you/tumhara ego kuch zyaada hi bada hai, toh karan has to play the game with you. it’s this show’s version of taking a cousin to prom.

why did they pair katrina with varun next week tho? so random. she could have come in this ep with aamir?

what are these shots of though? like what are they drinking?

lmao aamir laughing at karan's sex injury.

exactly who’s surprised that aamir’s cheated?

sexy intern??????????????? jfc karan.

y’all are grownass men, why the fuck are you still getting hickeys in places ppl can see them jfc.

yeah no one needed to know the shower bs.

of course karan regifts. we already knew from the last ep.

oh ho, malaika's dropped the khan finally.

and karan's indicating she's gonna switch it up for a kapoor. hmmmmmmm.

gotta say she looks amazing. lord may my mallu genes be as potent as hers and lead me to age this well.

aamir rating himself

he seems like a bit of a troll himself, which is why he doesn’t take them seriously. 

ew he smokes a pipe, how pretentious.

i am karannnn: “that was witty?????”

food/sex? “apne ko toh dono chahiye.”

don’t we all, but that was not the question.

god bachchan forced him to join twitter. sach mein he’s one unbearable sanki buddha. 

ugh these answers are so laaaaaaaaame.

HE'S NOT PICKINGGGGGGGG ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HE'S SO ANNOYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG WITH HIS AINVAYI KA DIPLOMACY

welll done my asssssss. aise hi channe ki jhaad pe chadha rahi hai.

of course karan's an insta-stalker. why's this surprising to anyone?

“i love being followed.” godddddd.

lmao i suspect aamir's laughing coz he knows karan can never give up gossip. ever.

lol shopping ki bhi beizzattti.

awkwardness with katrina impending after that answer.

LMAO LIKE KARAN JOHAR'S EVER BEEN ON THE MUMBAI LOCAL.

real best friend: aditya chopra. hmmmm.  

but does it even count when you're cousins????

sexiest actor: john abraham

lolololol who even cares about HIM anymore???

how can the feeling that someone NEEDS you be... good?

(that too coming from the man who wrote “main kissi ki zaroorat nahi, kwahish banna chahti hoon.”)

WHAT THE FUCK HE PICKED KAREENA OVER TWINKLE

lol he’s prolly changing it to kareena coz she’s in takht and he has to kiss ass to get it done.

idk i feel shakun batra's the most promising outta the three? makes appropriately commercial movies, but pleasantly subversive ones. also gets good performances outta his actors. i think the choice was pretty clear.

FUCKING PICKKKKKKKKKKKKK ONE OF THEM, KARAN YOU ASSHOLE. THIS IS BULLLLLLLLLSHITTTTTTTTT.

LOL AAMIR'S GLEE AT HIS INABILITY TO PICK. 

pft ainvayi mein de diya isko hamper, ofc karan wouldn't take it on his own show. also that bhai answer was lame as fuck.

lmao karan is being salty.

ouff abhi bhi 10 min baaki hai quiz waali bakchodi ke liye.

“i'm not known for my speed.” ... good for kiran, i guess. snort.

“i'm not known for my information.” oh pls karan.

LAY OFF ALIA YOU PERV SHE'S WAY TOO YOUNG FOR YOU UGH THERE'S MANY OTHER AGE APPROPRIATE ACTRESSES

pffffffft the dumbass pet peeves list. hattt yahaan se, hypocrite.

how are some of these answers “correct”???? like, asking him his preferences? how is there a “correct” answer to those? 

snort aamir trying to psych karan out.

lolllllllllllll aamir's confusion at the concept/existence of a mochaccino.

why do these grownass men not know their warm colours?

THREE THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR HAND PE THARAK KI TARAF KYUN JAATA HAI TUM LOGON KA DIMAAG

HOLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SONGS COME THE FUCKKKKKKK ONNNNNNNNN OMG YOU’RE A BLIGHT ON THE NAME OF BOLLYWOOD

wow he picked resul pookutty over bhanu athaiya? surprising.

khud ke show par hi prize le gaya. pft.

some more thugs plugging, blearghhhhhhhhh.

next week looks more fun. lol @ varun and his always wanting to pee. he did that during the FC interview with anupama chopra/anushka too.

lmao sab ko shaadi kab ho rahi hai question. i love varun.