#im not really going to post stuff like this anymore
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Hi Cece! I don't know where else to ask about this, but are people aware that Somik-Severinka completely stole another simmer's notes and then went and monetized all the custom recipe stuff? I thought it is about time to say something somewhere, because they've gone a long time now without giving any credit or thanks whatsoever. Thank u and I hope you have a good day!
Hey idk anything about this bestie, I don't really know the creator you're talking about very well. If you have proof of this I'd say try going to the original creator and seeing what they have to say about it, if they want to say something I'll gladly boost their voice on the subject but otherwise there isn't much I can offer. It's not my work/tou so it's more up to them to speak about if they find it necessary I suppose? If the original creator makes/made a post feel free to drop me the link and I'll reblog it though.
#asks#anonymous#ceci speaks#the patreon issue#nonny complaints#i dont wanna say its not my business but its not my business ya know#btw im posting this bc i get a lot of anons like this just about every day#and this is basically my feelings on them#in general#'call out posts' arent worth the effort or time to make them#will change nothing#and are more of a spectacle for people to gawk at and be entertained with on here#the main purpose is either circlejerk material or a prop to pretend to care about when convenient#im not trying to be cynical at u nonny u seem like youre being nice about it#but more to all the people reading this#i am jaded with shit like this bc its either an uphill battle or completely useless#and so much of this community is frankly vile that i cant bring myself to care like i used to#i will boost other ppl and my blocklist grows every day but other than that#im not really going to post stuff like this anymore#sorry u had to endure this rant in the tags nonny lol#yours is just the nicest of these anons ive received lately tbh#so this is the one i used#tldr: im not simblr's news network anymore and most of the 'justice' on here is just for show anyway & means absolutely nothing overall#negative#wish id realized this long ago tbh
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doodled the boys. or whatever
#i was hesitating on posting this for several days cause i don’t really like it and kept telling myself id go back and fix some stuff#but im accepting now that im just. never actually gonna do that so. whatever#no thoughts just them#payneland#fanart#dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#bisexual colors yippee#you know im down bad for a piece of media when I actually do any kind of full color art for it#been burnt out from art school since 2022 and hardly ever can motivate myself to draw anymore so if I do. it means something#my art
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Absolutely love your writing for all the AU/5 headcanons asks. Can I ask: AU where Rei cheats on Endeavor with All Might? It happens after AM's injury, so she doesn't recognize him, and he ofc doesn't know that she's married in the first place, much less to whom
you make this very difficult for me by giving me a window of 6 and half years for them to have an affair and for every single moment of that window, Rei is institutionalized. how am i supposed to get them to meet, much less take their clothes off. ok. think. there are other fic writers who specialize in this kind of thing, surely. what would they do....
1- ok so. The fire alarm at the hospital goes off. Rei doesn't know if it's a drill or not, but she's been there for seven years and generally does not need a lot of support during something like this like other patients do, so the nurses wave her out and she stands around outside a bit waiting for the fire alarm to stop and them to go back in. (It isn't a drill, they wouldn't have evacuated everyone if it was, but Rei is on the other side of the building and facing away from seeing any smoke) (This smoke is from a villain attack that All Might is taking care of, though he's only got seconds left of his power to use that day. he quickly rushes off, deflating and stumbling out on the other side of the hospital. Where Rei is.)
2- Rei is like "huh that guy doesnt seem to be in good shape" and kinda waves attention at him, and a nurse who's passing out water to patients and keeping an eye on the road gives Toshinori some too, getting more concerned when he dazedly answers that he's All Might and coughs up blood, but the nurse figures he's concussed since he smells of smoke and must have been closer to the fight, and is just reeling from being able to see the number one hero in person. Then they get distracted and wave Toshi to wait nearby, where Rei offers to chill his water and asks if he's alright, if he breathed in any smoke.
3- They chat and then go back into the hospital as it's un-evacuated together, Rei hanging out in the lobby where he sits as the hospital staff focus on getting everyone else back to their rooms. It pays to be low priority sometimes. Eventually she tells him her name is Rei and that she's in room K18, if he ever wants to visit or call. She doesn't get to talk to anyone except doctors, family visitors, or other paitients, and most of them don't stay nearly as long as she does. It's been seven years, and she's very lonely. Toshinori is lonely too, and when he's out of time for a day and feeling useless with nothing to do, he likes to talk to a friend.
4- Rei has been in the hospital for eight years when it gets physical. At that point, Toshinori knows a bit about her family. She has kids, mentions visits from a son and daughter, and then quietly mentioned when her son turned seventeen- her daughter's already twenty. She's been there for so much of their lives. He asks if she's married, and she admits she isn't sure how to file for divorce in a hospital like she is, if she even can, if she wants to because she'd lose custody, if it matters when she's not raising them anyway. He doesn't ask much more, knows there is a dead child and a baby she says isn't safe with her there. Toshinori never called Nana 'mom' to her face while she was alive, and had a reason for it, and has a similar reason for not asking more, not asking for the other names when he gets Fuyumi and Natsuo's. Yes, the doctors and nurses all know Rei has a boyfriend who visits. they don't say anything. who would they even tell, anyway. I debated the humor of reusing the bit from candlelight shoto that Toshi and Rei could have a kid with a fire quirk, but yeah here? Rei ain't getting pregnant, absolutely not.
5- When Natsuo turns eighteen, Rei does actually file for divorce, or at least tries to get the ball rolling on that. Toshinori's trusted her that her marriage is over in all but name, but he's more at ease with it ended fully. Fuyumi is crushed but burying it all deep inside. Natsuo is like 'what are you talking about. divorce is the most normal possible outcome here.' But anyway, Rei also begins to bring up being discharged- something she never bothered with earlier, when it seemed like she'd never be able to go home while Shoto was there, and never would want to go back anyway. (Her parents are absolutely not an option either so where would she go once discharged? the hospital was her only security.) Toshinori then tells her at this point about his diagnosis, that he's supposed to be terminal, in a way. He doesn't have a lot of time he can give her. Rei says that's ok, she'll take what she can get. She moves in. Fuyumi still goes out to eat with her once a week, though Rei doesn't say she's moved in with a boyfriend, just says she's in a safe place and it's not Fuyumi's job to worry about it, please, let her do that, relax, be her daughter instead of a mother. Natsuo adds her to his cellphone plan and gets her one. Rei doesn't tell Toshinori her ex's identity. Toshinori doesn't tell her about OfA, though she does know he's mentoring a student for heroics and is very proud of him. (Toshinori is a secretary at Might Tower, he's a great mentor. Oh huh, he got a job position at UA at the same time as All Might, she wonders if they carpool.)
+1- OK THE REVEAL so the reveal is. Toshinori gets home from the SF. And Rei almost knocks him out by the door, eyes wide and panicked, asking if he's ok, if Shoto's ok. Toshinori is like "... young todoroki? yeah he's alright? i know his fight with young bakugo looked bad but- Rei???" And that's when it all clicks for him, he's having dozens of horrible realizations at once, all while Rei weeps over her youngest. Toshinori's been a hero for a very, very long time. He's felt hopeless, before. But even then, he's known what needs to be done, he just isn't able to do it. But now? he's at a complete loss with no idea what he should do.
#quick poll here. um. do we think shoto knows his parents are divorced#because i mean theres a lot of things he doesnt know about his family that he should#its not like they're really talking at that point#on the other hand. would enji have told him out of frustration for him clinging to his ice when rei left them?#basically. which one is funnier#Shoto going 'mom divorced you??? OH HELL YEAH GOOD FOR HER IM ONLY USING ICE TO CELEBRATE THAT i mean i know she hates me sure she should.#as long as she isn't tied to YOU anymore either we are going down hand in unlovable hand old man!!!'#or#shoto having no idea of the divorce and so when the truth comes out#either from toshinori or rei#hes like 'HELL YEAH YOUVE BEEN CHEATING ON DAD WITH ALL MIGHT???? HIGH FIVE MOM THATS THE BEST POSSIBLE REVENGE DABI WISHES HE'D#ORCHESTRATED THIS BUT HE NEVER HAD THE CREATIVITY TO!!! wait what do you mean its not cheating anymore because youre divorced'#these tags are funny because wow theres a lot of yikes and heavy stuff in the main post. ah ha ha. ah.#pocket talks to people#ask game#anon
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the fact that eddie and maddie have never interacted outside a group setting is so funny actually. you cannot tell me those two wouldnt get on like a house on fire. i fear the day we get a solo maddie and eddie scene is the day we get buddie canon
#like. those two have had such similar experiences#being forced to grow up at a young age#complicated feelings about their dead spouses (ik d**g was VERY different from shannon but im just going off what maddie canonically said)#struggles with how good of parents they are#running away from their families as a way of doing what is “best” for the family#like. they have so many shared experiences#their lives have been running parallel and theyve never really intersected and realized just how similar they are#but if maddie han was alone in a room with eddie shed get him to confess his feelings for buck in like 15 minutes flat#hed ask about jee and maddie would be like. shes great. shes having a wonderful day with her dad and uncle buck.#and eddie would be all yeah. chris is probably having the time of his life with buck and uncle chim. and jee ofc chris adores that kid.#uncle chim? shed saying stirring her coffee#and eddie would be like yeah??? hes bucks brother in law? doesnt that make him chris's uncle?#oh. i didnt realize. so buck is like a parent to chris?#well yeah bucks been there since. since we met him. you know how he is. bucks great. always shows up. he shows up the way a parent should s#hmmmmm. yeah. i thought so too eddie. he really has a soft spot for chris. ive never seen him like that for any other kid.#hes like that for jee. eddie says#its different. buck is a great uncle and loves jee but hes her uncle. hes not attending pta meetings for her or signing her up for camps#though. maddie laughs. he probably would if we asked him to.#yeah. eddie would agree with a fond smile. and maddie would narrow her eyes at the dreamy little look on eddies face as he stirs in creamer#so. if buck is like a parent to chris. what does that make him to you?#and eddie would blink and be like. well. hes. hes buck. you know. hes my best friend.#yeah. but the person i want to attend pta meetings with and to look through summer camp posting with is howie. my husband. my best friend#and eddie would just. well thats. thats different. you guys are married. ofc you do that stuff together#we were doing this stuff together before we got married. we had a life together. a family together before we were married#shed take one look at eddies wide eyes and be like. someone once told howie that if he loved me he should tell me and it was the best piece#of advice anyone couldve given us when we were dancing around each other. so im passing your advice back to you. if you love him tell him#and then yayyyyyy we get eddie choosing buck and buck being chosen and yay everyone is happy and everyone wins#(especially maddie since she doesnt have to deal with these oblivious idiots anymore)#me thinks
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me when all my selfships are very popularly shipped with other characters (I hate canon sharing)
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#this is mostly about a certain YELLOW BOT. however its true for all my f/os and i kind of hate it#i feel like crawling into a corner every time i open anybodys tag cause its all CANON SHIP STUFF.#and obv you can ship whatever u wanna. but my god does it make me feel like getting rubbed the wrong way with sandpaper#i just want to see my guy please ffs stop shoving this other guy in the picture with him i hate it here#ik i literally reblogged a post about this this morning but i am not having a good time rn#like y'all I literally cannot even follow jonns tag bc the ship stuff is so fucking bad in there#i cant look at it anymore#and i am REALLY struggling w blitzys tag. i want to see him so bad and im just getting beat to death#sorry chat im miserable and havent had anyone to yap at all day im going insane im afraid#proship selfship#proselfship#ratkingrambles#and like most of my guys im fine. like i ship vox and al hardcore. i love remy and rogue. meg and doom are cute.#like yk i generally am fine but holy fuck its like my two ACTUAL HUSBANDS exist just to be shipped with other characters ??????????#the only two i actively hate sharing and every post about them is ship stuff pls i cant do this anymore#okay im done i just needed to bitch for a minute#i may be pro fiction but my god am i gonna start biting people for these ships anyway back the fuck UP
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basically i was trying to make a post talking about the theme of family and the humans in steven universe and how basically all the humans are parents and their children and like, never one or the other, and how we can literally talk about the relationships all the kids have with their parents and stuff
and it was supposed to be how that reflects on stevens life and his human half since gems dont have families and blah blah blah
but holy shit i dont know how to say all that in a smart way and i kept going in circles and triangles and squares
#i am so passionate about being against the people who disregard all the human stuff in the show dude like#what a way to throw away literally half the damn show and half of the main character#and to ignore what is actually a lot to talk about and analyze! also the characters are just fun!#everyone loves the show for the gem stuff and hates it for the human stuff. fucking skill issue.#thats like such a reflection of stevens own life too#like. the two main humans in his life... yall...#greg was a space themed rockstar and connie loves fantasy books.#and they either get really involved in gem stuff or leave steven to be basically all immersed in gem stuff#just like steven the audience neglects the human stuff#and man? its not filler. it never was. fuck all of yall. fuck every steven universe 'critic' i dont give a fuck#i bet you this goes back to lily orchard doesnt it. fuck lily orchard dude shes fucking weird as hell.#its like what happened with rwby where everyone just blindly hates it because they heard it was bad#instead of forming opinions for themselves separate from the popular opinion#rwby is good! steven universe is good! the human episodes ARE GOOD!! I DONT CARE ANYMORE BRO ITS ME AND THIS SHOW AGAINST THE WORLD#im going insane bro im fuckin losing it i hate it here#my post#su#fuck it#steven universe#forcing the people in the main tag to behold my words#this is just like with cassandra where people refuse to actually understand it and just disregard it instead#'why did cassandra go evil it came out of nowhere' no it FUCKING DIDNT ITS BEEN THERE SINCE THE START SHUT UP#JUST ADMIT YOU DIDNT PAY ATTENTION AND REFUSED TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND AND STOP ACTING LIKE YOURE BEING OBJECTIVE
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i don't really want to bc like. there's many reasons for me to stay but. i don't think this tumblr life is for me anymore
#obvs im gonna keep this blog like i'm not. gonna go away. i can't lol!#i need to have a space to post when i do have stuff to post ... with gachiakuta otw ofc !!!#but i think it's time .... i admit to myself i cant do this the way i did anymore#not even back in like. 2021 but even just. last year. im not someone who can sustain interaction no matter how much i want to#there's just too much on my mind and im too anxious and way too insecure and with the election i have students to take care of#my family to prioritize and i have to move house and get my credentials and my degree so i can get a job.#it's just too much really to be worrying about what i can do here .. ive been in denial for so lng#not that that changes anything for anyone here or anyone reading this. i'm not disappearing and im still gonna be reading.#but i need to officially relieve myself of duty... iN MY MIND. if that makes any sense.#im sure i'll write again one day. my writing has come so far and ive finally noticed. and im so grateful to have tried so hard#i never let myself down once. thats for certain. i did what i could when i could#but i can't anymore and that has to be okay bc its whats happening.#anyway nothing's changing dw there's just been a shift in my psyche thats all#and i might post less and reblob more .. but that's all!#still love u ofc <3#caitie blabs
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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old yuri comic GO
#heart art!#adventure forward#af2#stratosfear#ulipse#im not tagging anyone else you cant make me#anyways. this is pretty old. like a good few months#i was GOING to remake it with like proper paneling and some minor rewriting#but iiiii kept forgetting. and i dont wanna work on that anymore#but i really like this comic. and i think its really cute. so im posting the shitty version so that other ppl can look at it#the points are prolly a lil ooc.. but also... funny comic so bleh#transcript of the dialog is in the alt text if you cant read my shitty hand writing and/or tumblr compresses the fuck out of these images.#also a few extra things:#ulipse calls stratosfear fez bc in my beutiful mind i dont think stratos like being called stratosfear too much but tolerates it#but ulipse will NOT be doin that!! so they try to come up with a nickname and accidently come up with fez. which stratos likes#arrolin suggests coins as a gift bc i think it would be really funny if they collected stuff#bc number one rule of dragons. they love having stuff#and i think arrloin deserves to have a bunch of silly collections#and stratos has this thing i like to call this: boring and autism disease.#where you do not know what you like so you just decide to like what everyone else likes#so they just do what everyone else wants to do when they hang out#anyways i love ulipse and i love stratosfear and i mush them together like barbie dolls. please talk to me about ulipse and statos PLEASE
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sometimes I wish this site had a mute option
#litchi.txt#theres a lot of people I follow who talk a lot about the recent situations and I dont wanna break the moot or god forbid block people but.#its stuff I do not want to be involved in at all and its taking up 50% of my dash#and as someone who is largely multifandom this past year and something I wanna stay on tumblr to see the stuff from other fandoms#and also I dont want to unfollow people from em see why tee because I still love yall but one of the main reasons why Im not really active#in this community anymore is that Im just really fucking tired of the discourse and scrutiny and just overall bad stuff and shit behaviour#Im not about to go around and tell people to oh please tag all this stuff#because first and foremost the tumblr filtering is shit#my entire dash would just be Word You Filtered#but I really want to just mute a couple people for a couple days. maybe until the end of the month#all while engaging with like peeps who post primarily about the smp or about my other fandoms#(or mute people in certain tags like call me selfish but I enjoy when they engage on my posts but their posts in the main tags annoy me)#anyways sorry for this one#my dash is slowly turning into the kinda stuff that made me leave my previous fandoms and Id really hate to leave this fandom#with a sour aftertaste as I go
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hi 👋
#rambling#hi 👋#i know its been a while since i've posted#but i still lurk on here regularly :p#i dont really care to create content or scroll+rb anymore#but i'll keep in touch through dms if anyone wants to <3 or we can exchange discord info💞#i've become more active on twitter? 🤡🤮 but i still feel more comfy typing long rambles here lmao#theres a lot of ateez stuff if u end up looking at it#i been going through stuff the last few months :p#N E WAYS i've decided that i wanna leave my job in a few months 🙈#and the stress of it made me wanna come back here and use this blog like a diary 🙈🙈#i mean. it feels like it's the right time for me to leave#it's just the anxiety of not knowing >.<#also job huntings the worst 🤮🤮🤮🤮#but im ready for a change ^^#and i wanna be optimistic!! so im manifesting that the whole ordeal goes smoothly and im not unemployed for long!!!🙏#if u read all this. i love u and i hope u have an awesome week!! :) 💖💖💖#also reply with something good that happened to u recently!#celebrating u would help cheer me up rn :')#otherwise. have a good night! see u space cowboy
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Just submitted a new patient request to Anchor Health. Cross your fingers for me, so I can get set up w/a doc I can stick with who can handle my T and PCP stuff and maybe even mental health stuff? (their website let me mark all three as things I wanted them to provide care for at least)
and the poor local PP can get back to trying to help others without me taking up any more of their scarce resources and staff
#text post#tbh they might say no#i do fall under the qualifying thing of I came from a state that's not safe for trans folks anymore#but I did note on my form that I've been here abt a year since they needed an address and I didn't want the CT address to be confusing#my concern is bc i've been in the state a year already that will disqualify me#told them too that I've been working with pp but need to find full time care for these things and would like to switch to them#they take medicaid plus offer rides to the clinics and i think telehealth too?#so for whatever can't be done via telehealth I could get a ride to the nearest clinic and back again#which frees me from having to try and budget for lyfts or for poor Housemate to have to work aer schedule around me needing rides#which reminds me i neeeeed to get my bloodwork done#idk if i can manage it today bc the doc messaging thing already has my brain even Louder than before (but it deeply needed doing)#but this week if the uni finally shoots me my latest paycheck I think i'll just take a lyft and either go to a blood draw clinic or call pp#and ask to have them do it and apologise for it taking so long to get it done#bc I can tell they're judging me for it and like. they're not wrong to#i really do want to get it done it's just been hard to coordinate around other stuff and yeah. blood draws usually suck for me so also#it's hard to make myself go do it even when something important to me depends upon it#im rambling too much again time to dip back to survey sites and maybe researching dentists for the fall for me and Housemate
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this job is so stressful to me like. im doing okay im doing better than i started but ive basically been put into a pseudo management position with very little real responsibility other than "fix it" and "advocate for it" and even less power to make it happen but like. i Hate management and i have a hard time sticking up for myself and keeping a cool head when doing so, which means when someone who i Know doesnt do his job is giving me bullshit numbers its hard to know where to give ground and where to be firm. and this kitchen is a disaster but like other baking jobs have Such a high standard that like. would i even manage a job where the kitchen Wasn't a total sinking ship? ive got less than a year of baking experience, mostly in bread, and everyone wants pastry. a chef from corporate asked me if id been to culinary school and it was both flattering and made me feel like kind of a fraud. a sous chef (who i really liked but her last day is tomorrow) asked the same and when i said no elaborated that i carry myself and have the attitude of someone who did (in a good way) which was Also flattering but like. she sent me a pastry position she found online that wanted someone who knew how to do laminated pastry and it just. i feel so small!!! this is something i like a lot and the new head chef of the baking department says he can tell i have talent and im eager to learn and he knows i can do this and that im doing a good job so far but its genuinely so stressful i think about work constantly ive never worked a job where ive had this much expectation put on me.
plus its so insulting when they tell me my product "doesnt look good" bc theyre 1) premade frozen bullshit and 2) packaged poorly bc we have no other options. fuck off dude you come and make these shitty turnovers, asshole. i know how to tell when a cookie is done. fuck off. like i am the First to tell you when something ive made is not up to my standard, not in a self depricating way but in a constant effort to do better. i Know when the cookies are too dark. I know when the turnovers didnt get egg washed. i know when the batter was overmixed. i know when something is Off but i dont know the cause and know when to ask someone who should know more than me. i dont need you to tell me when something is off, Especially when like. it isnt lmao
#the recipes and stuff are NOT the difficult part#its baby shit for babies#my intro to baking was at a hippie grocery store. everything i made there was harder than this.#ive only been here for a month and ''the cookies have been bad for a while'' is not on me!!#and its weird to have to like. internalize that hes talking to me abt it bc im head baker and not bc i personally have done something wrong#argghhh#speaking#long post#work posting#sorry everything i talk abt on here is work related anymore#gf and i have been looking at engagement rings#former coworker and her wife are coming over for homemade pizza this weekend#and then we're all going to pride later this month and im inviting a coworker#i got my former lead an interview for a cook position next week#gf and i have gone on two mushroom forays and they were really fun#idk. i worry about how the bake shift goes when im not there on fridays.#every week i have to resist the urge to text my coworkers like ''okay how did it go today''
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hi just need to let yall know that it's okay to feel whatever you feel. your feelings aren't wrong, or bad. it's okay to be afraid of being abandoned even if your partner has shown no signs of it, even if your partner constantly reassures you. it's okay to feel whatever you feel. you're not doing anything wrong by feeling it.
shaming yourself for your feelings won't change them. you can't change your feelings that easily. it'll just make you feel worse. accept your feelings and try to understand why you feel that way.
i've been scared of my ex girlfriend not liking me anymore and wanting me gone, despite the MOUNDS of evidence against that fact. i logically know that she loves me, but i still get scared, and i have been shaming myself for it, which has made me feel worse. but tonight i told her how i was feeling, without accusation, and she was able to reassure me.
and i've been scared that my girlfriend loves my ex girlfriend more than me and that she wants me gone. i logically know that isn't true, but i was still afraid over it anyways. and i was shaming myself for it, which made me feel worse. but tonight i told her how i was feeling, without accusation, and she was able to reassure me.
when it comes to fears like this, shaming yourself for them will never make them leave. it will cause you to obsess on them, and it will cause them to dig their roots in, and it'll be harder and harder to make them leave.
the only way to lessen these fears (i'm not sure about eliminate, i haven't been doing this for long at all, only a few months), in my experience, is to accept the way you are feeling, to accept that you are allowed to feel that way, accept that you're not doing anything wrong by feeling that way, and airing out your problem in what way you can. if you can talk to the person about it without being accusing, do so, make it clear that it's not an accusation, that it's not them doing anything wrong, but that it's a fear of yours, due to your history.
if you can't talk to them about it, talk to someone else, a therapist, a friend, post it on a private blog, write it in a journal, type it in your notes app, talk to a rubber duck, whoever or whatever. get it out of your brain. i find it easiest to sort out my thoughts if i say them aloud or write them down. it helps you get to the root of the problem.
but, anyways. at the end of the day, you aren't doing anything wrong by being afraid. you've been hurt in the past, and you will react to that hurt in ways you will feel guilty for. but understanding and accepting that you're not wrong for feeling that way, and understanding how to communicate those feelings in a way that is respectful and isn't accusatory or cruel are two of the best ways i've found to help with my fears.
and you'll probably mess up! you might forget to apply it to every situation, you might start guilting yourself on reflex and not notice until you've been in a hole for a week and you're not sure how to climb out anymore. and when you find yourself in that hole, the easiest way i've found to climb back out is to take a breath, recognise that it's okay to stray off the path, and do your best to accept your feelings instead of guilting yourself for them, and climb out of the hole.
#long post#sorry i've become a bit of a self-help blogger#i kinda accidentally created my own life philosophy independently of therapy and it's#it's really funny.#i have been in therapy since i was a child and it never helped#and then suddenly i just. Invented my own way to climb out of the hole.#i know it's probably not some unique thing that no one has done before#but like it's funny that i don't go to my therapist to learn things like this anymore yk#i go to her to talk about my problems and just air them out in a neutral environment to figure out how i feel#and most of the therapy i'm doing is stuff im making up for myself
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Y'know I am so sick and tired of adults placing the highest expectations on 18 year olds to start life when they're just becoming an adult
#negative post#ventish#ugh. day got ruined because of this specific problem#i dont really post negative stuff here anymore but oh my god i am so. tired of it#just because someone's 18 doesn't need they immediately need to get a job; go to college; or get a place#its so frustrating. You shouldn't be pressuring people who are still teenagers into immediate adulthood just because they're 18 now#sorry folks. had to say something dont mind this#like my parents think im already wasting my life even though I. havent even been an adult for a year#like c'mon. seriously????
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I think every social media website should have an effective tagging system, just my thoughts
#clemramble#i want to post some more of my art on twt but i also want to tag it effectively but idk how the tagging system works on there#since hashtags seem to do very little on there#if theres one thing tumblr has done right its the tagging system . this is awesome i love putting things in tags like its me whispering#directly into your ear extra info that you really didnt need to know#and also the ability to mute hashtags is awesome. even if it doesnt completely hide it#twt is so weird in its hidden words. i have so much stuff blocked on there but the moment it gets popular the system just#doesnt work and im stuck seeing it all again. very annoying.#anyways yeah this is also a call if any one knows how the muting system on twt works and how i should best tag my stuff.please share#your wisdom. if you dont mind. i asked on twt but my regular posts kind of flop if its not art. not that i mind but the point remains#..i had thought about making another account just dedicated to like ship stuff on twt bc i have enough stuff to do that but#would it be unnecessary? idk . ignore this part sorry im rambling outloud to myself virtually through tags#i might just end up not posting it there. its like a little tumblr exclusive#im not even scared anymore ive bossed up. twt just makes me feel awkward now. its like when you enter a giant classroom and theres no empty#seats so youre forced to go up and down the isles trying to find a spot that open
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