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munsonshair · 2 years

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It Started with a T-Shirt ~ eddie munson x reader

summary: y/n is new to Hawkins. She finds herself head over heels for the town freak, eddie munson, on her first few days in town.

warnings: mentions of emotional abuse, cuss words, light fluff

a/n: hi guys! this is a bit of a slow burn but please give it time? let me know what you all think of it! (p.s. thank you so much for all the love you guys showed on my first oneshot!! i appreciate you all, i love you!!)

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You moved to Hawkins during the summer which is the worst time anyone can move to a different city. You’re originally from California but soon had to move because of your dad’s work promotion. It was just the two of you for a couple of years now since the divorce.

Your mother was an alcoholic who would often pick fights with you or your dad. Ever since she told you that life would have been easier without you, your dad kicked her out of the house. He’s always doing his best to make you feel like you’re enough and that you’re safe but you cant help but feel lonely inside.

Sure you knew that he loved you to death but there was just that empty feeling. You werent quite sure why you felt that way but you knew it had something to do with your mom. The way she treated you was something you wouldnt wish upon anyone. Not even your biggest enemy.

But now that you’re moving to Indiana, you cant help but feel excited.

——————————TIME SKIP———————————

You make it to your nice suburban house. Your dad’s job pays good so it was no surprise when he bought a two story house in a nice neighborhood.

You begin to unload your stuff as well as helping your dad with other boxes of appliances. You go up to the door and begin your exploration. Your house was nice. High ceilings, a big living room connected to the kitchen which had white cupboard and marble tabletops. Not a single carpet floor in sight.

You then make your way upstairs to find your room which was a pretty decent size. You walk in and theres a window at the other end of the room and off to the side you see your closet. You walk in further to see your backyard from your window. Oh how excited you were for it to be fall. Seeing the brown and orange leaves fall from the tree as its raining.

Such a cozy feeling.

You head back downstairs to gather all your things and take them up to your bedroom. Your dad helps you assemble your bed and you do the same for him when you both finish. It took up almost the whole first day to get settled in since there wasnt much to unload. Sure you guys had enough furniture but you figured your dad would go out another day for more decorations.

As night came, you say your goodnights to your dad and before you can leave he asks, “Lets watch a movie tomorrow, yeah? Take a day off to relax and go out and see what Hawkins is like.”

“Of course dad, I’d love to.” you reply to him and give him a smile.

“‘Night sweetie, love you.”

“Love you too dad.”

You head upstairs and begin to change into some shorts and an oversized t-shirt to bed. You’re awake on your bed for a while, staring outside the window. You couldn’t help but think about how your first senior day at Hawkins high will be like. You eventually doze off and start making up scenarios in your head.

——————————————————————————

You wake up to your dad calling out your name. You turn to look at the clock besides your bed and-

9:15 am

Its so early, why is he up at this time?

You throw on some jeans, discarding the shorts you had on and go to the bathroom for your daily morning pee and to brush your teeth. You then go downstairs and find your dad making breakfast.

“Smells good, dad. But its too early!” you begin to complain to him.

“You have to get back on routine of waking up early y/n. Im doing you a favor here.” He says chuckling a bit.

“Whatever you say.” You playfully say rolling your eyes. He hands you a plate of pancakes and eggs and you begin to drop syrup all over your food. The sweetness of the syrup tastes amazing with the savoriness of the eggs.

“Youre disgusting.” you dad taunts but you put your hand in front of his face as he talks. You eat your breakfast with him and once you finish, you head over to the couch to lounge.

“Dont get tired too fast, sweetie. We’re going to rent out a movie and check out Hawkins while we’re at it.” He yells to you and you give him a thumbs up.

Once he finishes, you get in the car with him and head to Family Video to rent out a movie. Once you both arrive there, you’re greeted by a lovely girl. You look for a name tag and find out her name is Robin.

“Welcome to Family Video! If you need anything, let me know!” She give you a smile and you smile back. She looked about your age and god you wished she went to Hawkins High.

You look through the aisles trying to find a horror movie while your dad looks through the comedy section. As your just about to pick out a movie, a voice says, “Finding everything okay?” This time it wasnt that sweet voice you heard earlier, but instead it was a male employee. You look over and see a pretty gorgeous man with amazing hair.

He was pretty tall so you looked up at him and said, “Everything’s all good…” You search for a name tag but are interrupted.

“-Steve. The names Steve, and you are?” He says and puts out his hand for a shake.

“Y/N. The names y/n.” you reply, mocking him a little as you shake his hand. His hands are big. Woah.

“I’ve never seen you before and I know petty much everyone.” He says as he’s smirking.

“Well hello Mr. Popular.” you tease him. “I just moved here.”

“That seems to explain it. Are you going to Hawkins High? Or are you a drop out?” He says then laughs.

“I am going to Hawkins High. Do you go there?”

“Nah. I graduated a year ago, but Robin does go there.” He says and looks over to the front of the store to point her out. “She’s gonna be a senior this year.”

A feeling of relief washes over you. “That’s good news. I’ll be a senior too. Hopefully we become friends.” You say to him and he turns to look at Robin who is secretly trying to look at the two of you.

“I think you two will become pretty close.” He says with a smile and leaves to talk to Robin about you. You didn’t mind it though since you had a feeling they were good people with kind hearts.

You pick up the movie A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge and look for your dad. He reluctantly agrees to watch it and you head up to the front of the store to pay. You talk to Robin for a bit and it seemed like you two would be the best of friends.

As your dad had planned, you took a “tour” around the city and trying to get to know it a little better. You passed by the cinema, shopping centers, arcades, and some other neighborhoods. As you guys approach a neighborhood, you see a guy with black, curly long hair. He catches your attention since he’s seemed to be the only one who dressed differently than others.

He’s wearing black ripped jeans with some white mid rise shoes and a leather jacket over an ozzy osbourne t-shirt. You’ve never seen anyone else with a t-shirt of one of your all time favorite artists in town so he seemed interesting. His face was hidden because of his hair but then turned his head and makes eye contact with you.

It was like he sensed someone staring.

As soon as he turned. You saw his face. His face was just so. So dreamy? So gorgeous? You couldn’t quite tell but god was he perfect. You could see his brown eyes. Such beautiful eyes he has. It was like love at first sight in a way.

What are you thinking y/n? You don’t even know this guys name and you’re already falling for him?

You give him a small smile and a little wave and to your surprise, he waves back and gives you a smile. He looks confused? But isn’t weirded out by your wave. An instant feeling of shyness washes over you as he looks into your eyes.

God you’re so pathetic y/n. There’s no way you could be falling for a mystery guy.

Your dad drives you home but you didn’t notice till he stops the car. All you were thinking about was about the guy in the ozzy osbourne t-shirt.

You settle back home and watch the movie with your dad. He’s way more scared than you are but honestly, you weren’t even paying attention to the movie. You were making fake scenarios in your head about that guy. That beautiful mysterious guy.

The movie ends and you say your good nights to your dad and he reminds you that tomorrow is your first day at Hawkins High.

Shit.

You had forgotten all about school starting. You quickly go up to your room and start planning out an outfit for tomorrow because you didn’t want to spend your morning worrying about what to wear.

You pick out a black t-shirt that has Iron Maiden’s album cover on it called killers. To go with it, you choose some dark washed mom jeans and your white nikes for shoes. Once you choose your outfit, you change into shorts and doze off, thinking about that guy.

——————————————————————————

You’re awaken by your alarm and you turn it off, groaning.

6:15

Crap. It’s so early

You eventually got up and went to the bathroom to do your business and once you had finished, you went to get ready on some light makeup. All you put on is mascara and some black eyeshadow on the outer corners of your eyes. Not too much but enough to make you feel good. You top off your look with some tinted lip gloss. You looked… hot. You looked amazing.

You changed your clothes and tied your t-shirt from the the back so it tightened you at the waist. If you could date yourself, you would cause damn.

You finish up and go downstairs and find your dad eating cereal waiting for you to finish. He’s such an amazing dad, you thought. He does everything for you.

“You ready to go, sweetie?” He asks looking up from his cereal.

“Lets go.” You reply.

He drops you off at school and you don’t notice it but your palms are sweaty. Your dad notices you’re nervous and says, “Hey, have a good day okay? You’ll be fine, sweetie. Promise.” He gives you a reassuring smile. You smile back and say goodbye and begin to walk towards the building.

You go to the office for a copy of the school map since you were going to be lost where you find that guy. Your heart rate increased by what seemed to be a hundred times faster.

“I don’t want to see you here again, Mr. Munson. Not as a senior. Sound good?” Says what seemed to be the principal.

Munson. Is that his name? No it can’t be. He said Mr. Right?

“This is my year, I can feel it. 86’ baby!” Mr. Munson says smiling. He turns and looks at you.

It’s like he sensed you again.

Crap.

He ends up looking at you. Up and down. Your legs feel like jelly and you notice he has his tongue pointed upwards at the corner of his mouth.

Oh god.

He walks towards you and says, “That shirt looks good on you. Favorite song from Killer, go.” He rests his hand on your shoulder.

Holy shit.

“Um. M-Murders in the rue morgue” you say to him as you stutter. Kill me now!

“Ah. Good choice, sweetheart” He says with a smirk

Holy shit. Oh god! Sweetheart? It’s like he knows what i like?

“I prefer Another Life. But I guess I could live with you liking that song.” He plays with your shirt in between his thumb and index finger.

You both end up walking out together and you ask him “May I ask what your name is, Mr. Munson? Or am I just gonna have to call you by your last name?” You ask him as you stop walking and get in front of him.

He looks down at you and points to your shirt. He says nothing but continues to stare at you with those big brown eyes.

“You’ll find out soon, sweetheart. I’ll give you a hint, I’m everywhere on Iron Maiden.” He tells you as he’s smirking.

What? Everywhere on Iron Maiden? The fuck is that supposed to mean?

You give him a confused look and he just smiles back down at you.

“I’ll figure you out soon, sweetheart” you say to him as you mock him. You leave him standing there as the bells rings. He’s in complete shock. No one’s ever called him that and he doesn’t know how to feel about it. All he does know is that he wants to hear it again. Especially by you.

He had realized he didn’t ask for your name and he was feeling so much regret.

Your first few classes weren’t as bad as you thought they would go. It was all just a bunch of iceberg activities to get the class comfortable. But you couldn’t help yourself but think about what he meant. Everywhere on Iron Maiden. Oh my god.

Then it hit you. The fucking mascot of Iron Maiden is named Eddie. Eddie is everywhere on Iron Maiden. Holy shit. You felt like a goddamn detective.

Soon it was lunch time and you make your way to the cafeteria and get some food. Once you get your food, you look around for Eddie or Robin. Or even just an empty table to sit at. You looked around and you spot Robin sitting amongst her friends.

You go up to her and say hi and she welcomes you.

“Oh my god hi y/n! It’s so nice to see you!” She says as she gets up and hugs you. “Guys this is y/n, she’s new here and I wanted to give her a nice welcome to Hawkins friend.”

You say hello to everyone and they all greet you back. You sit down next to Robin and start chatting about how your day went. You also tell her about your interaction with Eddie and her eyes were wide open.

“Eddie? The guy with the curly long hair?” You nod and smile. “Holy shit y/n! He’s called ‘the Freak’ and a ‘cult leader’.” You look at her confused.

“What? He seems really nice though? I think the people who say that just don’t know him.” you say, defending him.

“I don’t know. He’s kinda weird, at least I think so.” She says looking down at her food.

Then out of nowhere, all you hear is his voice just yelling at some guy.

“But as long as you’re into band, or science, or parties, or a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets!” Eddie says as he’s on top of the table.

“You want something freak?” says some blonde jock. Eddie gives him no reply, just a silly face. He puts his fingers up to his head, resembling devil horns and he sticks out his tongue. God he’s so dreamy.

You suddenly feel the need to go up to him so you excuse yourself from Robins table and tell them you’ll be right back. You say your goodbyes for now and head over to Eddie’s table.

You walk over to his table and you feel so nervous. You feel like you can’t walk properly and your legs feel like noodles. You can start to feel the sweat on the palms on your hand begin to grow. You don’t care though, all you want to do is talk to him.

Eddie sees you walking towards his table and excuses himself. “‘Scuse me boys.” He says to the 5 other guys at his table. They all say what in unison and look at him.

Eddie goes up to you and says, “Figure me out yet, doll?”

Doll. Oh god.

He notices your face becoming a bright shade of pink and he smiles. Not a mouth smile, but a long and big happy smile.

He’s so precious.

You look at him and say, “I don’t know, sweetheart. Or should I say Eddie?” You smile at him in a sweet flirtatious way as you place your hand on his shoulder. You don’t know what came over you when you did that but holy shit. You’re glad it did.

Eddie’s in complete shock, smiling directly at you. Sweetheart, he thought to himself. Oh how he much he liked it when you called him that. He felt a sudden redness feeling over him. He pulls you in closer by putting his hand on your waist.

You didn’t mind it, of course. It was like one of your fake scenarios had finally become a reality. You didn’t notice it but since your t-shirt was tied, it made some small room for Eddie to place his hand underneath your shirt. You were close enough to smell him. His musk filling your nose; weed mixed in with some cologne. He was perfect.

You felt the coldness of his rings touch your bare waist and you instantly felt like melting in his hands.

“Looks like you figured it out, darling.” Eddie says, breaking the silence. “Is there any other name I could call you? Perhaps your real name?” He asks you.

You didn’t know this then but Eddie had secretly been asking people what your name was. Apparently one of his friends, Mike, had you in his art class and he asked him for it and of course Mike told him. Eddie asked you this question, though, because he wanted to see your response.

“How about I tell you all about that later? I’m starting to like all of these nicknames you’ve been calling me.” you tell him as you touch his hair. Such amazing hair. Such beautiful curls. You look up at him, staring deeply in his brown eyes that seemed to become darker.

“Is that so, sweetheart?” Eddie pulls you in closer, both of your bodies are touching and he moves your hair to the side of your face and you knew that you wanted to kiss him.

You both leaned in and opened your lips. The kiss was sweet, not too urgent but not too soft. It’s like he filled that emptiness that you felt inside. You opened your mouth, allowing for him to put his tongue in your mouth as he does the same. The kiss was starting to get more urgent as it went on. The grip he had on your waist was getting tighter. The more he did that, the harder you would tug at his hair.

Eventually you broke the kiss, remembering you were in the cafeteria.

“Get a room lovebirds!” You heard someone say from Eddie’s table. He was wearing a hat that said ‘Thinking Cap’ and had brown curly hair. He seemed pretty young.

“Shut up Henderson!” Eddie replies to him, yelling.

“I think we should take him up on that offer, sweetheart.” You say to Eddie since you realized he liked it when you called him that.

Eddies turns back at you and smiles.

“I think we should, y/n.” Eddie kisses the top of your head and puts his arm around you. You stare at him realizing that he knew your name all along. You couldn’t help but smile. He walks you over to his table and introduces you to everyone. “Guys, this is y/n. Y/N, guys.” He says and you give everyone a wave.

“Hi guys.” You say to them and they all wave back, introducing themselves.

You knew this was going to be the best senior year ever.

a/n: hopefully you all liked it, let me know what you all think! feedback is always appreciated <33

#eddie oneshot #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things 4 #eddie stranger things #joseph quinn #eddie munson stranger things #eddie headcanons #eddie x y/n #eddie x you #stranger things #eddie my love

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spacejellyfish3 · 3 years

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So I watched—and loved—Fear Street on Netflix. It’s fun, it’s scary, it’s very well directed, impressively shot, and delightfully queer. I’m also really excited to see where it goes next, since it is a trilogy of films that are APPARENTLY COMING OUT ONE AFTER THE OTHER IM BEING FED VERY WELL

Um…

Ahem…so anyways…I’m super stoked to foray into the 70s for the obviously Friday The 13th homaging next installment. But I as I’m wont to do, I have thoughts, I have theories, I have several analyses bursting out of my brain for zombies to eat.

And so without further ado; here’s my Fear Street theory (and yes, all of the spoilers apply):

So…yeah.

Sara Fiers is not the villain. She most definitely is not.

That’s pretty unlikely given the intensely unsubtle foreshadowing in the opening credits ALONE.

No…the witch isn’t the villain at all.

Sunnyvale is.

It’s particularly interesting to me how much the high key in your face opening credits establish very clearly the dichotomy between Shadyside and Sunnyvale; one town full of murder, mayhem, and misfortune, the other prosperous, picturesque, and peaceful. It’s the difference between Killer Central USA and The Sunniest Place On Earth. And that, in my opinion, is—forgive the pun—shady as all hells.

In fact, it’s so very much and exceedingly reeking with suspicion…

It’s stated extremely plainly throughout the film how Shadyside has continuously descended into a pit of death and suffering as the years pass by, while Sunnyvale remains rich and pleasant and as safe as can be. That cannot be a coincidence—especially in a horror movie, a genre where almost nothing is ever coincidental.

And if Buffy the Vampire Slayer has taught me anything at all, it’s that supposedly idyllic towns that market themselves as “sunny” are never ever to be trusted at all costs.

Ever. Never ever ever.

The main reason I find Sunnyvale sus is pretty obvious, however: if they weren’t, why even mention the difference in the towns’ wealth and safety? Why bring up that conflict? Why even have two towns in the first place? What would be the point if there’s no relation? Sunnyvale’s entire existence within the story, and their relative prosperity in comparison to Shadyside, seems very much like a clue that they’re involved in some freaky deaky dealings and possible black magic. They wouldn’t bring up these details if they weren’t gonna matter in the long run; you don’t spend that much time and effort just to set up a red herring.

Unless it’s just bad writing, which might be probable but seems unlikely for this specific property at least…

Another big indication comes in the witch’s supposed motivations…which don’t seem to exist beyond “muah ha ha murder” and “generic revenge” if we’re being completely honest here. But that flimsiness made me take a closer look into the visions Sam got after her blood seeped into Sara’s grave and as she got closer to death: a swarm of bees, red tinted almost like blood got splashed onto the camera, a girl screaming into the ether, an image of the Witch’s Mark, and who I presume to be Sara yelling “YOU! IT’S YOU!” over and over again. But when I look at that and put it in context with the motives the 1994 cast comes up with, there’s not much cohesion, is there?

Revenge as a motive wouldn’t explain why Heather was killed in the cold open. It also wouldn’t explain the weekly tragedies that befall Shadyside. If Sara wanted revenge on the town that tortured and killed her, why all the drama? Supposing she can possess the dead, why not just necromance an army of unkillable zombie monstrosities to raze the town in one go and get all over with? Why is this bitch out here doing the most? It doesn’t add up and it doesn’t make sense.

And if you take all that in tandem with the various tragedies of Shadyside—the ways people were murdered, the consistency of the massacres over the years, etc—it starts to paint an intriguing picture:

These deaths aren’t passion filled or emotive or generalized, they’re targeted (at those whose blood has mixed with the witch’s grave) and more importantly: they’re low key ritualistic. It screams of the classic sacrificial deaths and equivalent exchange. Sunnyvale’s peace and prosperity is very likely rooted in a demonic ritual that both feeds on the suffering of Shadyside as well as directly cause it as a sort of feedback, taking the brunt of the bad luck, poverty, and decay meant for Sunnyvale only heightened and magnified to insane degrees. It’s why so many deaths have happened over the years: it’s a clear method of perpetuating that state of perfect, suburban idyllia.

And honestly if this theory does turn out to be the case, it’d serve as an excellent metaphor for wealth inequality, possibly gentrification, and most definitely exploitation of the lower classes of the socioeconomic hierarchy by the upper crust elite WASP 1% so as to perpetuate the status quo of the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer and continuing to suffer. That itself is kinda sorta already supported by the text of Fear Street too in that Sunnyvale is made up of mainly privileged white suburbanites who live in antebellum architecture style houses and manors blanketed by green grass and white picket fences whereas in contrast Shadyside is home to a clearly diverse and multiethnic population that is disenfranchised, poor, low in prospects, high in death and suffering, and living in relative squalor…

So imma leave that here and I hope y’all add your own theories and observations if you can and want to. I’d love to read them so please don’t hesitate to reblog with your additions and stuff!

#fear street #fear street 1994 #fear street 1978 #fear street 1666 #netflix #horror #horror movies

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repeating-sounds · 4 years

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Stark Raving, inspired by Allen Ginsberg

I watch as the greatest spirits of my generation are broken by designer politics, raving angry misinformed, festering on message boards and back alley chatrooms with less information than ever before, swallowing facts and figures like roughage and unable to choke out a meaning or pathway from here to there, angelheaded progressives with ideals as unattainable as a babbling tower, scratching the midnight sky from the safety of their apartment cosigned by mom and dad who don’t know their stick and pokes and secret revolutions, revolted by violence and yet unseeing of it, coming of age in a time where agelessness is the mode and the means of destruction soak into the membranes of all people, chanting:

burn, loot, dismember, destroy, defund, detox, decry and defame,

contorted cancellations of fortunes and freedom and Most Importantly voices silenced by the swinging hammers of the Dorsey-Zuckerburg Ministry of Truth,

Who wanted to speak and be heard on campuses and in classrooms,

Who wanted to hold the noses of the police and the politicians to their dirty words and sinfulness,

Who wanted to wage war against the class above them,

Shooting pop guns at armored men in all directions, stray bullets whizzing by babies and bastards and Bumbling Fools,

Smug smiles from the Trumps and the Biden’s and the AOC’s of the world, teeth gleaming with the blood of their respective constituencies.

A progressive votes for a pair writhing in racist policy and wretched money politics who prop up prisons and evade environmental change,

A conservative votes for a conspiratory conman with hands in All the Wrong Places grabbing money from Peoples Parties and Pussy from Prostitutes and Pagent Participants

Marijuana smoke daydreams in the bathroom between classes or a bong rip in a living room of a friend who hasn’t left the house in days, wondering and wandering through three am streets after a light night fuck with a stranger singing the same tune in a bar just past the new highway that wasn’t meant to go through town until a time or two ago, streetlights raging and skaters sending skateboards under the wheels of the suburban masses, Karens clucking cancer towards those of different

skin color ethnicity race nationality background upbringing

these things mean nothing and everything in 2021 where the fighting is about what’s outside and not in am i a man am i a rapist am i a member of progressivity. Is it bad to be a democrat, i know its bad to be a republican, thank God and Allah and Set and Charon that im neither, though Independent just means Industrial Idiot whose centrism or cynicism or simplicity makes it hard to talk tough politics

Where radicalness is next to Godliness, even though God swings from a telephone pole Gadaffi’d and bleeding and starving as churches with broken windows look like Capital Buildings, aflame with bullets and bravado and turmoil and tumult that somersaults my stomach like a bad egg sandwich chunking on the floor,

Where Long Island Rail hums to life in the morning with masked marauders who come to gentrify the great streets of places where gangs used to meet and terrify townsfolk living in a glorified garbage dump, an island at sea afloat in the misery to broke to B . I . E because to them buying means dying and renting means relenting from the slant that is the Cycle of Poverty, which is harder to break than the chains of an enslaved mistress or a rolling Sisyphus, syphilitic rantings of a man Stark Raving Mad at the thought of bending the knee to the great capitalist tree that branches out, directing and subjecting and protecting me from being

Me, free, smiling and open and poor and landless and cold in the snow

Thank you Authoritarian pigs you keep me safe at night though i still lock my doors,

And the two stocks rising fastest are bullets and schedule one substances that still get millions of minorities locked up to lift fingers for free and labor for laughs only to be released decades later,

Stark Raving Cold to the world and unaccepting of the place they left and the palace they returned to, full of shine and electric crackling under the skin of an iphone,

Our poor eyes, we’ll all need glasses from the constant screen time i feel sick writing this staring at the cruel white eggshell colors on my Personal Home Computer complete with a home theater and a home office and games and brochures and books and madness and music and if we inundate ourselves enough maybe we wont scream maybe we wont faint maybe we wont remember that this was all sold to us and we ate every bite and smiled and said “more please” and that maybe our kids wont hate us for being As Irresponsible as the Baby Boom we sought to destroy by not having kids, by saving the failed marriages our parents murdered by not saying Vows Of Matrimony but if we kill the jobs and we kill the families and we kill the hope then what’s left?

#poetry #poem #writing #prose #allen ginsberg #culture #today #society #amwriting #thoughts

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mattyslittleworld · 5 years

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I’m in a cafe in a French little corner of Toronto called Leslieville. I’ve been on the road for a few days by myself, about to start a Canadian week run. My bro hit me about booking a small cool situation and honestly I needed it. First show is a house show and I pulled up to load in...a punk girl full of patches watering plants on her deck. The house looked condemned. I walk in and the house smells like cat shit, there’s stains everywhere, food everywhere, spaced out wonderful dedicated humans, and hardcore posters all over the walls, showing the house shows they’ve thrown over the years. The punk girl said they’ve been doing shows for 6 years. They slide the couch over and setup a PA. This is exactly what I need in my soul. I grew up in these punk squats all over the world. I am this. I come from this. These people don’t know who Casanova or Albee Al are. They don’t know Fetty Wap or Tsu Surf. They know Realm Hulud and this underground culture they love applying to the outside world that pushes them away. A truth to be romanticized.

I felt like I burnt myself out a month ago. Taking my dreams and flipping them into reality - the loss of friendship and love made me march forward and demand a new life and once that door opened I ran full speed and never looked back....until Quad Studios a few months back. I looked in the mirror and found nothing of the person I was - no resemblance of that kid. That scared me. So when John hit me with this I accepted immediately and packed my shit. I just wanna have convos about challenging, progressive, active things. Trade road stories. Talk about 7inches. Hardcore and punk. I’m grateful to be able to experience both of these worlds. I asked the punk girl if there was a coffee shop and she said there’s a booouuugie one around the corner if “you like spending a lot of money” and when I got here the barista charged me 2 bucks. I love that fuck the system attitude, although at the same time I think I’m becoming a part of the system - the sold out, corporate side of the music business that we all ran against our whole lives. I mean I just wrote a song with Casanova about texting. I just rapped 4 bars with Tsu Surf about gucci sunglasses and Louie v coats and fucking in the back of an Uber.

I packed my shit and went to NYC and finally got to check out the Queens Bridge housing that Nas grew up in. They were huge. So many. It was so awesome. You can sense the pride and community. From there I just drove around NYC finding spots I used to hangout in as a kid. Blasting inspiring tunes and just vibin out.

Ended up in Spanish Harlem, Queens, China Town. Damn I love New York. At 4 am I left and started my drive to Canada with a stop at Niagara Falls, where I had a Hotel for 2 days waiting for me. I checked in and just cooled out for 2 days it was amazing. I forgot how much I love touring alone. I drove a half hour to Andy’s house and hung out with him and his wife for the night. And damn did I need that. I needed trust. Loyalty. Familiarity. Friendship. Somebody who grew up fighting like me. Who left that life behind like me. Who’s been in real trouble and seen real life hell like me. We both came so far. Beautiful.

Im currently in a hotel in Chicoutmi, Quebec. The window open, breeze coming in nice and sweet. Canadian currency everywhere. Coffee cups everywhere. Ive only eaten fruit the past 2 days. I feel good. Last night the drive was really lonely and long, but I toughed it out and here I am. Thinking back a few days ago to Toronto, I was so inspired and so electric. The hotel was right downtown and I walked all the way to Chinatown and the markets. Running around by myself blasting music. You go throughout your life knowing you need to outlive your demons - nights like that really defines that. The shows have been so cool. Great people. Great conversations. I have a few Canadians and im back in the states.

Ive been editing three music videos along the way. One of which is with Casanova. Im really proud of this. I never thought id get to such a height of being in the room with someone as famous as him. We did the song and it was amazing - but for him to double back and hit this video with me and Rob, damn. The day of the shoot I was so quiet and so awkward before I left. Is this happening? Is this really a thing? Is he really gunna show up? A model is coming. Rooms have been rented. People have been invested. Its all on us. We got there early and set up the set. Ive said it many times before on here - my life socially is completely different. Everybody in my life is brand new and not many people know of my past musical endeavors or even my past in general. But having Rob and Colgan there with me really made me happy. Through thick and thin. I didnt hear from Cass all day so I shot him a text - no answer. I was like oh my god should I call and be annoying? Called him and immediately picked up AYO WHATS GOOD MATTY! 1030 right?! And I was like damn. This dudes a good dude. I asked him if he wanted any Hennessy and he said Yeah pick me up a bottle of dusse. I was like no problem dude….hung up…looked at Rob and went…”What is Dusse?” And he was like NO IDEA LOL. Hit Colgan who was on the way like yo can you scoop Cass some Dusse on the way?? He was like WTF IS THAT!!! I was like IDK so I did the whitest thing ive ever done (Besides being a white rapper) and sent him a google image screen shot and boom nailed it in time. Cass calls and belv goes to let him and his crew in and they mob up and its on. All love from there with such a good vibe. Me and my day 1’s making history…..I remember specifically me rob and Colgan at the port Monmouth skatepark hopelessly lost of a future. Written off by our town and society. Parents let down. Pieces of local shit that’ll amount to nothing. Here we are. Roc Nation….from the basements man. With Belv in the house - without him…none of this would be possible. Killed the video and it left me inspired to see bro just get in the back of a black suburban and drive off. Like damn. Thats wealth. Mentally, and financially. Thats inspiring to me. To be that much of a millionaire but still come and put on for some kids he sees potential in.

I feel a void though. I want to share this all with somebody. Im ready for a relationship - I feel my mind and body gravitating towards that way of thinking and behavior. I think back to the days of having a home in someones heart….so comforting. I needed to run though. I needed this time. I needed to raise hell. I needed those fights, to fuck my life up. I NEEDED this. I needed to plant my feet on this planet and just get my name known. Make shit happen. The window is open right now…and a storm is rolling in off in the distance. You can see lightning. You can see the clouds darken. Wow. After this show im going to rush back here and just watch it on this sill.

I feel extremely emotional right now. Im trembling.

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deeeelightfuldee · 2 years

Text

Who is your best friend, and how long have you known them for?

It was K. for basically a decade. Now that thats all over im kind of in limbo. Z wants to be but im not sure. I just need time to process i think.

Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university?

My dad didn’t care about any of it. Neither of them pushed for college/university. And i was already very strong at excelling in academic areas.

What’s the worst jet lag you’ve experienced?

Nothing too intense. More so just exhaustion

Are you a polite person?

Yes but i do have plenty of sass if im comfortable with you

When was the last time you went for a walk in a park?

Like two weeks ago.

Do you ever feel super shitty about your appearance?

Ahhahahaha yes. I hate the way my stomach looks.

Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless?

yes. .. until it wasnt

Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky?

Yes. im just so over that.

Do you know any computer programming languages?

Not anymore

When was the last time you were in a really bad situation?

Not long. I think the worst is over.

When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Again, dad did not take any involvement into my life for things like that. Mom initially said we had to be at least 16. Psh. i waited a lot longer than that lol

Have you ever lived with a person who you tried to avoid at all costs?

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. 3x

Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person?

Absolutely not

Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area?

suburban

What is something all of your exes have in common?

Ummmmm theyre Christians but beyond that they dont really have much. Different heights, weights, eye color, hair color, skin color, some were highly educated, some weren’t. Some were outgoing and some were shy. Some were hilarious, others were dry humor. Some were BIG on family, some were estranged from family. Some were considered blue collar, some were white collar. Some made me feel like i was the only girl on the planet and some made everyone feel welcome and safe. I dont really see a ton of similarities. I think ive got a type in my mind that i would be ultimately attracted to and would jump on given the opportunity, but i seem to give all a chance looooooool.

Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible?

No, i dont think one is worst over all others. So many are equally awful

What is your worst childhood memory?

PASS lol

Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license?

Aside from coming back from getting my license, i drove to youthgroup. My sister let me borrow her car, i felt so cool.

What was the best part of your day yesterday?

Yesterday was a literal shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzz show. It was so bad. So so so bad.

What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid?

I was basically never in trouble. The only times i was, was when scott did something and my dad thought i did it

What do you wish you could get paid for?

Reading

Have you ever hosted a dinner party?

yes

Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates?

Online dating, working together, growing up in the same town/church, mutual friends

Of all the houses you’ve lived in, which has been your favorite?

This one

Do you get sunburned easily?

Eh, no not always. Depends. I hate the sun and i avoid being in it at allllllllllll costs.

Do you drink liquor straight?

Like shots sure

Do you brush your teeth as soon as you wake up?

I get up, make my bed, find my slippers, then walk to the bathroom to brush

What are you wearing?

Shorts and a tank top.

This past summer, did you have a “thing” with anyone?

It is still summer. This one was so tricky. Stuff with K just went so south and i really loved him. Ive tried dating other people and some special people are present so we will see what happens. I need change.

What are your feelings for your ex-boyfriend?

He is trying to win me over to go back out together. Hes doing a lot of work to improve and hes moving so all thats cool. But someone else ive had great feelings for previously, is also doing some amazing things so idk. This whole thing is confusing. Idk how i feel.

Do you think it’s stupid to have more than one best friend?

No, but i dont really have experience with that.

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?

I own some that do

Have you ever kicked a vending machine?

yup

Are you cocky?

That definitely isnt a word i would use to describe myself

Do you wear your shoes in the house?

No but i do wear slippies

Would you dye your hair?

course

Do you know anyone whose name starts with a Z?

Lol yes. My ex

Do you know a guy named David?

I do.

Has anyone ever told you you were beautiful?

yea

What color is your bathroom?

Uhhhhh like mauve-y. Not my style.

Do you play sims?

Not in a long time. I always enjoyed it.

How many people have told you they were in love with you?

Ooooof. I think 14. How many do i believe? 3

Is any part of you sad at all?

Yes but ill figure it out

Do you have unlimited texting?

Yea for the time being Last February, were you single?

When will your next kiss be?

Either this week or next

Have you chewed gum after someone else already has?

Barf i cant believe im gon say this but yes. They kissed me while chewing gum and it was not intentional

Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?

Yes lol

Last thing you ate?

Frig im hungry. Ummm dinner i had gyro

Do you currently have a hickey?

No lol

Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?

YEAH YEAH YEAH

Are you multi tasking right now?

Sure, got a show on. Petting ben. Typing this. Mentally obsessing over stuff.

Do you believe in karma?

No. some people will never ever have to deal with the stuff they dish out.

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georges-left-ear · 6 years

Text

The scariest thing that ever happened to me on a ghost hunt wasn’t even a ghost.

In college, I was a member of Wilmington Paranormal Research, a paranormal investigation team in Wilmington, NC. I was their “Historian/Researcher.” Last April, we were scheduled to investigate an undisclosed historic fort near Wilmington. I had to work that night, but it would have been my last investigation before I graduated and moved to Atlanta so I was not going to miss it. Not to mention it was also the location of my very first paranormal investigation. I had come full circle so to speak.

So, after my shift was over at work, I headed over to the fort. I would be meeting my team there a little late, but no big deal.

Anyway, the fort is in the middle of nowhere, deep in the swamp surrounded by nothing but old historic plantations and mosquitoes. The best way to get there is to take a highway right off the interstate for about 15 miles, eventually the highway becomes just two lanes. Then, you take a left onto a bohunk country swamp backroad for another 10 miles, then you turn onto a short windy driveway that leads to the fort.

As I am driving down that highway, it’s about 10:00 at night, the amount of traffic slowly diminishes as you drive out of the the suburban town attached to the interstate. Therefore, it was curious that there was still a set of headlights behind me as I was now well out of town. I thought, huh, I didn’t know anyone lived this far out here.

I just shrugged it off. Until they turned behind me onto the bohunk country swamp backroad... Thats weird, I thought I was the only one coming late tonight. All I could see in the dark were a pair of headlights following preeeeetty close behind me. Wait, I AM the only one supposed to come late tonight.

PANIC

WHO. IS. THIS. ITS A MURDERER. DAMN ITS DARK OUT HERE. LIKE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY DARK. YOU JUST WALK FIVE MINUTES INTO THE SWAMP THEY AINT NEVER GONNA FIND ME! IM GOING TO BE A LAW AND ORDER EPISODE. NO IM GONNA BE A BONES EPISODE BECAUSE IM GONNA BE BONES BEFORE THEY FIND MY ASS. OH GOD. THIS IS IT. Im saying all of this out loud in my car by myself by the way. I learned that when I am truly terrified, my voice gets suuuuper duper hight and my southern accent gets suuuuper think, which retrospectively I think is hilarious. I am also so scared that I’m speeding like a Duke running from the Law with a load of ‘Shine in my trunk.

Ten miles later, this mystery car is still behind me. The thought did cross my mind that maybe, just maybe... its the police, we know that the police do rounds around this area at night, maybe its them thinking the same exact thing I am: that nobody should be here but me right now.

I wasn’t about to count on it though. I figured if it was the cops and I ended up with a ticket, that was better than being murdered, raped, or worse expelled (Couldn’t resist). But, the road was too bumpy and windy to risk trying to call one of my fellow investigators to tell them what was going on and to have the gate open when I got there. I was worried I would wreck, and then what?

Just get to the fort. I thought. Just get to the parking lot and then you will be with the group. Safety in numbers! They wouldn’t dare try anything with that many people around right?

I had a small stun gun in the door pocket of my driver side. When the fort closes, the security closes the gate and we lock it back when we leave, I decided that if the gate at the end of the driveway was closed, I’d have to use it. I hope with every fiber of my being that damn gate would be open. I’m not the praying type, but I was probably praying.

I turned onto the driveway, the car turned behind me. The gate was locked. My heart sank.

This is it. I thought. I reached for the stunner. I’m gonna have to fight. Better square up girl. You ain’t going down without a fight. Get your screaming voice ready-

Blue lights. It was the god damn Sheriff’s department the whole time.

HOLY SHIT YOU BASTARDS COULDN’T HAVE PULLED ME OVER 15 MILES AGO??????????

I’ve never felt so relieved to see police in my life. I pulled over and the officer asked for my ID. I gave it to him, explaining that I was doing a paranormal investigation at the fort that night and that I was late because of work. He asked me some routine questions and stayed with me until some of my team members came to unlock the door.

It didn’t even cross my mind that these people could have been phony cops and raped and murdered me anyway. And, I definitely experienced some white privilege because I DEFINITELY should have gotten a major speeding ticket. But,I was a cute, scared, young, white girl just looking for some ghosts with her college club. If I was anyone else, they probably would have given me way more trouble.

Retrospectively, this is goddamn hilarious. My team and I still laugh about it. The night ended up being really amazing because we got some really amazing activity in the ruined church on the site. It was an eventful last investigation with them for sure.

#Wilmington Paranormal Research #Paranormal #Ghost Hunting #ghosts #Wilmington NC #North Carolina #Historic ghosts #FFPR #Femme Fatale Paranormal Research

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saints-row-2 · 7 years

Text

the following is a creative writing ‘essay’ i wrote as part of a class on psychogeography, about Stilwater. i think i linked to this briefly before but i got asked to post it so im posting it now.

But this Vision Remains Fragmentary

I came to Stilwater five years ago, mostly because I had nothing better to do and nowhere better to be. There were other options; San Andreas, or New Austin, or Los Santos, but I chose to come to Stilwater. On the edge of a lake, in the middle of Michigan, Stilwater is a tiny city that might have been nice forty, fifty years ago. The city has a huge factory district, so I guess it made its money off producing something at some point, but now they’re all closed. It’s a mystery how Stilwater makes any money at all. Most of the city just doesn’t.

Stilwater has always been rife with crime, had a crime family decades old stuck in a war with their younger rivals, tearing the city apart for only yet another gang to slip in through the cracks and monopolise the bits of the city not yet claimed. The three gangs divided Stilwater up into factions and fought hellishly on the boundary lines. Anyone could get caught in the crossfire, and anyone did – the number one cause of death in Stilwater was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It didn’t really matter where you were; the projects in Sunnyvale Gardens amongst the run-down apartment blocks, or the wealthy suburban houses in Tidal Spring, it was all open for invasion.

I came to Stilwater, but most importantly, I came to Saint’s Row. Saint’s Row is a small neighbourhood on the corner of Stilwater, surrounded on two sides by open water. Historically, it has been one of the poorest neighbourhoods in the city, wedged between the Red Light district and the factories and truck yards in Charles Town and Pilsen. It is the wrong place. Long past its prime, half full of empty buildings and half full of homes rotting with people still inside them, Saint’s Row was a desolate place to live. By far the most violent neighbourhood in Stilwater, abandoned to be a failure inside a city that was already suffering. Somehow Saint’s Row never fell under the banner of one gang or another; people fought there, but no one ever claimed it for themselves, the title of ownership rolling around between factions until someone finally decided they’d had enough. It was a shithole, but as my friend Johnny said, it was a shithole with potential.

We were not the only ones who saw the potential inside Saint’s Row. Over five years they rebuilt the neighbourhood from the ground up, stripping out the decaying housing projects, remaking the landscape to form something useful to the people funding the rebuilding, something that the whole city could be proud of. Now it is a thriving centre of business and commerce, every skyscraper a shining beacon of success. The people who used to live in Saint’s Row are gone now, driven out by rising costs and the swift demolition of their homes. But that’s a small price to pay to have a place to put Stilwater’s brand new digital convention centre.

I never saw the rebuilding of Saint’s Row. I spent the transition confined to a hospital bed; left my home the way I had known it and returned to find the place wiped clean, as though the riverbanks had burst and drowned the old neighbourhood. Long ago, when an earthquake struck the Red Light district and caved in a part of the city, they built over it, the old buildings entombed deep below the ground like ancestors’ graves. But the old Saint’s Row is not buried, it is gone, scoured from the face of the Earth.

It wasn’t a safe place to live, a friendly place. I’ve said that well enough; it was dangerous, and it was decaying. Now it’s purified, scrubbed clean and perfect, a glass-coated vision of luxury without a soul and with no homes. I don’t know if having nowhere to live is an improvement over having somewhere unsafe to live. The apartment buildings here are a little out of the price range of the usual tenant of the old Saint’s Row.

I can barely find the street my building used to sit on, let alone revisit my old home. The block where my apartment sat was demolished, and they built a skyscraper on it. It’s a definitely a change from the squat three-floor building I used to rent a ground-floor apartment in.

It was a single room; bedroom, kitchen and living room in one. Hot and cold running gunfire at all hours of the day. It wasn’t anyone’s dream home, especially mine. It was a filthy mess in a block full of graffiti-coated shacks, and was barely able to keep warm in winter and keep out the sound of the street. It did have a garage though, which was a distinct advantage in a city where parking a car on the street is essentially asking for it to get stolen. And it had a beach view, if you stood on the roof, although the last thing you’d really want to do with Saint’s Row’s own Mission Beach was look at it.

The skyscraper that stands there now is like every other new skyscraper in Saint’s Row, a fifty-story art-deco rectangle cluster, with a thousand shining blue windows that are excellent for catching the sun and shining it in your eyes. No matter where you try to hide in Saint’s Row, if the sun is out, there is going to be a skyscraper shining the light right back in your eyes, like a spotlight that detects poor people. There is a huge divide between the old and the new in Stilwater; places like Downtown are an inharmonious mixture of old traditional and the new flash, which is why they have tried to eradicate everything in Saint’s Row that risks breaking outside of their strict template.

The only thing that remains from the old Saint’s Row is the church, and that’s still the greatest loss of them all. The church at the heart of Saint’s Row is white, like bleached bones picked clean by scavengers. The inside is gilded with gold and lined with oak floors, but it looks and feels like a rich man’s tomb. You can spend a million dollars to make a grave beautiful, but it still holds nothing but the dead. They call it the Saint’s Row Memorial Church now – it was just the Church before, it didn’t need a name to hold reverence – and claim it is a testament to the city’s tumultuous past.

When it was the place me and my friends haunted like violent ghosts, it was collapsing in on itself. The grey stone that the church was built out of was plastered in so many layers of graffiti that though it could have been white underneath, but you would never be able to tell. The pillars inside that held the second story were crumbling, the stairs to the upper floor torn out a long time ago. Most of the pews were gone too, only a few left, the wood black with rot. The graffiti that coated the walls was like a mural to the history of the neighbourhood, every gang and gangster that rolled through in the last forty years had made their mark on it. It was alive, with the people inside and with our love for the place. People died to protect that church. I fought tooth and nail to keep it ours. It was a crumbling ruin, but we were proud of it.

The memorialisation feels like mockery. What are they trying to memorialise? What has been lost is not theirs to mourn. The church was ours and they took it from us, and they have the gall to say that they lost something in the years that we were the ones occupying it. It was our right! To take what we had and defend our neighbourhood, that was our right. No one else was trying to look after the place, the police and the city officials had long since given up on the Row.

The Church sits now in the shadow of the Phillips Building, a goliath of a black and orange skyscraper that dominates the Stilwater skyline. The Phillips Building is the Ultor headquarters, and they want to make sure you can always see them. They funded the rebuilding of the Row, and they want to make everyone know it. The road leading up to the Church is four lanes wide and lined on either side with flags showing off the Stilwater city crest alongside the Ultor company logo, as if the two are halves of the same coin. Ultor billboards are all over the neighbourhood, branding their mark into every inch of the place so you can never dare to forget it. A BRIGHTER FUTURE AND A BETTER LIFE, their slogan claims. The future they’ve built is definitely brighter – it’s so dazzlingly bright that I’m blinded. Or maybe that’s just from the rage.

The Church was sacrosanct not because it was holy; it was an ordinary building, we the children played in it, we can hardly claim the refurbishment was an act of iconoclasm. It was precious because of what it meant to us. I wonder sometimes what happened to the bodies in the graveyard. Were they moved, to the bigger graveyard in the north of the city, next to the rich people’s suburban mansions? Or were they just paved over, buried under layers of concrete and tarmac, like the underground buildings in the Red Light district? It feels more egregious than the other crimes, even if we had little respect for the graveyard ourselves. People used to have fights out there, in ritualistic bonding activities, and half the gravestones were broken from our own bullets.

I say ‘people’ like I wasn’t one of them, and Johnny didn’t once nearly kick my teeth in out there amongst the tombstones. That kind of thing just felt natural in Saint’s Row. It probably doesn’t make sense to outsiders. It doesn’t make sense now they overthrew the neighbourhood and made it into something hollow, and empty. I couldn’t imagine behaving that way in the courtyard of the Memorial Church, our behaviour turned into something unwanted and vile, a blight on their glass paradise.

The change in Stilwater was less natural progression and more a like a sudden neon-clad viral infestation, eating through the bones of the city and making it flourish into hideous impractical new growths. You can stand on the river opposite Saint’s Row, on the pier in Downtown, and it very nearly looks pretty at night. When it’s too dark to make out the buildings themselves, all you can see is the sweeping orange spotlights around the leviathan Phillips Building, the way the millions of glass windows reflect in the river, and it looks nice. Certainly, better than it’s ever looked in the past. In the light of day, the old city looks grimy and unpleasant, the ugly practicality of the old architecture awful in contrast to Ultor’s garish new renovations. I’d say you can understand why someone would want to remodel the rest of Stilwater, but I’d be caught dead before I was seen sympathising with Ultor.

Saint’s Row is pretty from the outside, from the faraway side of the river, but it’s worthless within. There’s nothing worth reclaiming, and even if we called it ours, it never would be again. Beauty, when it does not hold the promise of happiness, has no right to exist, but we can’t tear down the billboards, the skyscrapers, the Phillips Building and find what we used to own beneath the shell. The Saint’s Row we called home is gone. Five years ago, we started in the Row and grew outwards. It was a struggle, but it was a war we were willing to wage. Now we are forever outside Saint’s Row looking in. It is a white void of land that is untouched and untouchable by the likes of us.

#rants writes row #saints row

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poobit · 4 years

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thats cuz ur white

i live in south america like AT LEAST 60 percent of people at the market are gonna be brown and also its a big ass supermarket and its in a mall out of all things , they literally have like two guys as security and they are only at the entrance, i really think its cuz They Literally Dont Care cuz ive seen nonwhite kids grabbing stuff and like, no one cares either (mind your business its a child!) , i really chalk it up as just employees not caring that much and also the neighborhood ive moved to in general is , pretty chill, even if its the least suburban and privileged than the surrounding San Isidro city, its a complete different story if you go to a smaller grocery store i wouldnt do that lmao , it is absolutely true that me being also a regular buyer because i do the grocery shopping for my family for years and also the way i look and dress does benefit me as me being “trustworthy” to the public but also ..... thats giving me a lot of credit when they have the emptiest aisles with NO employees around and cameras they barely pay attention to , tbh thats ok by me for anyone that shoplifts to survive needs that low security, im not peepin , keep it that way , its been hard for A LOT of families this past year after all.

with that said im absolutely interested in discussing and researching more about racial profiling in Argentina cuz really it differs a lot from town to town, and also if i get caught ever im all willing to take that bullet for my petty crimes if someone else gets the chance to get away with something useful that they need.

#also if i said something dumb just tell me im literally just talking from what #ive observed day to day since 2019 living here #also im whitepassin #so like if any not white argentinian wants to chime in #im all ears #but im not jokin when i say the security is shit KDLJD #Anonymous

0 notes

oshwolfpack-blog · 6 years

Text

my TOTAL RECALL

Stillwater ok hold that chop (even after extreme circumstance I can use government literature) still hold that mac (because of dramatic turnaround my sciences hold euphoria tightness) im down for the bag (beauty women will suicide before ugly husband) im down for the murder (beauty women first will hope someone who dislike them murder them or they will suicide) people try to hurt me (because of euphoria which is all earth ever) and people try to play me (because hurting euphoria is not free) this is black ops (to some life is only hurting euphoria with violence so people look at all locations as a percentage for a gateway of crime) I play on difficult (only the best use difficult foregoing toughness) I am a gangster (I am not) I am A pretty bitch (yes I am and I ‘ll have daughters after A son) I am A thug (if minority you’re automatic a thug unless popular) I am A nun (I am catholic) you won’t get A white woman wife (no you won’t) YEHOVAH the GOD will let me get (yes he can) Roll with the thirty clip (in her 30′s she’ll look better than most if could all) I'm from the streets ( I won’t let minorities be like my soul is calculated value the very beginning of nothing) I'm from 6th street (I am by 6th street) I represent the task force (yes supporting local police is cool) I represent JESUS CHRIST is GOD I represent JESUS CHIRST only way to get girls I represent YEHOVAH the GOD (clean) Hit him with the 50 scope (YEHOVAH is so clean souls want him hit with the 50 scope gun) hit him with 5 (JESUS CHRIST is equal to YEHOVAH but others live he is less) I represent task force (JESUS CHRIST is popular so police say only criminals dislike him) Task force has business (the police do it all) protect James of VATICAN me! I’m strapped with A 9! And I look like A cowboy! (I only deal with truth enemies like A Texas lone star) Heels in my front pocket (I don’t care about women rights more than YEHOVAH Law) I look like A doctors patient (touching reefer no matter what you say to racist whites you lose and you sick) white chop banana clip (how suburban elites deal with whites of earth in conservation including details A POSE) we funk with the mac (police about suburban elites they encourage no arrogance) mask with the chop (one suburban elite whoa) dope in the seats (suburban elites second whoa better condition for using reefer) I'm off pills (suburban elite third whoa of liking to close businesses companies because of parental influence and drug experience teaching greed) and I got bitches (the suburban elites whoa number four the need to have beauty or the ability to feel remorse over themselves no others) tell me about the mac (still as popular as elites get so many go unnoticed) I'm feeling like the teacher (people who explain stuff) 9 for my students (beauty is always leads always lends) glock 9 for the test (all 49 bow to florida for beauty) shotgun in my classroom (treat football quarterbacks with beauty as if your own wife) bitch is in the bathroom (abusive students that play football make teachers cry if they don’t study) pistol play for my enemy (some teachers help students learn what universities to choose ie LSU) you know I power up (pick any school no LSU they all use the power-i) I'm powered up like A puma (Penn State momentum still work?) Im looking like keke (black women cheerleaders mad at blacks that lived so the men don’t go to college) I’m looking so shady (d1 football if youre black why not HBCU) I'm toting that 50 (why HBCU when you offered by in count of all America 50 states) imma tell you about me (whites about football) imma tell you about me (the government about transitioning in football) Young <insert state name> whipping 6 to 3 (some cities towns villages only use drugs to increase intelligence in football) I tote that mother mac imma show you what it be (some cities towns villages only use prostitution as a method to earn football success) catch me in the hood and I whip that 53 (some cities towns villages use crime for football success at they own enemy at close proportion if they repeat and succeed evidence will never appear therefore the song goes) task on me (hot) bitches on me (cool, now police going) call me t-mac I'm holding that strap (police stop all prostitution all crime for football by any means will use any force) oprah winfrey want me (Chicago as an example wont allow crime to control football much if you know this) I wanna see yah (Washington D.C.) YEHOVAH the GOD! I feel like I'm A Lake Michigan Country born Northwestern university alum who can outweigh Notre Dame University with Vatican City. I feel like I can get A Israel Persia yall the same family time to share A nuclear bomb worth start price one hundred fifty billion dollars tax it stuff.......

James of Vatican Appalachian: dope dope dope

James of Vatican Rome: ....help me !?!?!!!!

James of Vatican Vienna: SNIFF!!!!

KING GOD YEHOVAH: SOLDIER!!!! I wanna tell you this! alright YEHOVAH is GOD soul before I leave. That was real brave of you to make VATICAN CITY all by yourself after A 1.8 gpa 17 act in high school. Let KING JESUS CHRIST is better than you stay in my head! Until I rest. KING JESUS CHRIST, James of VATICAN. Stories like you all have is one of A king kind. (chef, chef, chef, knife, cut chef, ..) AND IT CANNOT BE!!! recreated. Every day each earth government knows YEHOVAH loves JESUS CHRIST the King. With you James YEHOVAH the GOD will do A smaller version of the same thing. James of VATICAN now let me tell you one thing... (CHEF KNIFE CUT) help me... (POTS CHEF CHEF COOK STEAK CHEF COOK STEAK CHEF CHEF) James of VATICAN if Jesus Christ is your king. James you little ku klux public brown skin hitler top church boy, in thailand take the title GOD off his head! (COOK CHEF CHEF POTS POTS CUT KNIFE STEAK POTS COOK STEAK CHEF CHEF..)

James of Vatican Rome: I worship KING JESUS CHRIST with honor

KING GOD YEHOVAH: I protected little earthlings be prophets in foreign lands even before JESUS CHRIST exited to mankind, that’s all my life. King Jesus Christ, Abraham children goodnight, name me GOD KING over all ever and let me go to sleep in peace.....

I still hold that mac. I still hold that strap. still hold that mac. still hold that strap. I SAID still hold that mac still hold that white woman wife still hold that mac SEE black women still hold that mac. ????? I still hold that mac still that Obama dem HI CO James Denver Texas lone star Strap.

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mylovingbouquetearthquakewo-blog · 6 years

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BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Should kids protest against very high insurance costs by driving illegally?

""Car insurance, color, and does it really matter?""

Ok, made my decision, going with the new 2007 Mazda 3 S (with the 2.3 ltr engine and all that good stuff...not really sure on the sunroof though, it's kind of pricey) My question...s are: 1. I was told that if I got a loud color on a car that I would regret it for a couple of reasons. It attracts the cops to pull it over more and it could potientally higher my insurance. Is that just some kind of myth to scare people away from getting a nice color like red or yellow? 2. And secondly, what's a good color to get? Something that's easy to clean, but still shimmers and looks nice. I was thinking about the Aurora Blue. Everyone has black and silver cars? 3. I was building the car and I don't want to pay close to 21k for this car, it's worth a lot, but not that much. How much should I ask for? Now I've already gone to edmunds.com, it seems pretty helpful, but should I wait until they get the 2008 Models in and then try to buy the older model?""

Have lots of car insurance questions ?

hello had a car accident i am not in fault my medical bill are almost $100K the other party insurance accept its fault in the accident and it appears that they have full coverage if the insurance i have is the basic that covers $25K in medical bills so the other insurance tells me that there limit is $25K-$50K how can it be possible that it only covers $25K same as mine if she has full coverage and i don't?? Next question. How can i make the insurance or the lady that hit me to show me the policy??? is there anyway i can force them?? i have an attorney working on the case and he said that the insurance did not let them see the policy but i want to know and see the policy so i know that neither the insurance or my attorney is lying. next question from the accident i was really damage after 6 months I am still going to therapy I have proof of all my bills and doctors reports from all my illnesses in which I have deafness caused from the accident I had a head injury and was hospitalized for 5 days the docs had said that it was really a serious accident including my attorney. How much is fair to fight for pain and suffering, medical bills, compensation for hearing loss including seance of smell and taste, everything I have paid like taxis, pills and more. don't want to take advantage from the accident but how much can I fight for?? thank you for answering but please only answer if you know. this is very important for me.""

Is a Land Drover FreeLander 2 cheap to insure?

Both of my parent's drive 2011 Range Rovers so they have experience with the Land Rover brand- and they said that as I'm living at home.. my dad could be the policy holder and I could be a named driver. I may be buying a 2010 model when I'm 18, I'm 16 currently as people have told me that it's not really worth buying a brand new one. Just so the car is old and isn't new. I'm not in to small cars..""

How much is insurance for a 16 year old?

So Im looking to buy a car when I turn 16 in a few months.. preferably the 2012 beetle which comes out to be around $25,000 and about $400 a month for 72 months. And I am also looking to get a job and work as many hours as I can, including the summer AND when school is back in session. I live in Southern California so minimum wage is $8.00... I am just hoping I can afford the car even with the cost of insurance... and after taxes as well! Im having trouble figuring it out so PLEASE help! Thanks :)""

How much will I need for health insurance for 5 years?

I'm thinking of retiring when I'm 60 years old. I'm 55 years old now. Male non-smoker with controlled hypertension and cholesterol problem only. Not over-weight. ...show more

Driving parent's car without insurance?

*I'm 16 with a license *My mom has insurance under Liberty Mutual *I am not on her insurance but the car is insured *I live in Georgia (GA has weird laws so any laws specific to GA would be great)

""How much cash on hand is needed after one has rent, utilities, food, gas, car payment and insurance paid?""

How much cash on hand is needed after one has rent, utilities, food, gas, car payment and insurance paid?""

Car insurance quotes: What is car trim?

I'm trying to get some car insurance quotes in which one of the questions is asking for the trim of the car, with the options E Match or S Help?""

How long would it take for my car insurance to go back down?

If I got a few speeding tickets, which resulted in my car insurance to go up, how long would it be before it goes back down?""

How can you convince your parents to allow you to get your own car?

We went to the Ford Dealer and there was a 2007 Ford Taurus SE. The dealer wanted $8700.00 that is with tax. So I test drove it and took it to a mechanic nearby and the car checked out fine. My mom and stepfather went into the finance department and I waited in the room adjacent to them. The bad part is that I couldn't get the car because they had a small discussion about how much gas, insurance, and maintenance the car will cost. So I left the ford dealer with no car. My mom said because I am a young man I could buy my own car and take on the responsibility of a young man. I told her can she please do it and I will pay her back over the years. She said no and my stepfather said come on man lets go home. I felt a little embarrassed because everyone in the lounge was looking at me. So how can I convince my mom and stepfather to buy me this car.""

Car Accident Gap Insurance...HELP!?

I justgot in a car accident. My back of my car is smashed. It was completely NOT MY FAULT. I am unsure if i have Gap insurance or not. Whose Gap Insurance pays off your loan if the car is totalled ?

Will a minor speeding ticket cause your insurance to rise.?

i read that speeding tickets can be a traffic offense and have you lose points from your lisence and pay a fine, it did not see it mentioned that your insurance rates would rise. i am intrested to know if this is true or what situations it applies to?""

Where can I get free health insurance?

Medicare and medicaid turned me down. I'm diabetic, and unemployed at the moment. Anyone know where I can get free insurance? Thanks!""

What are average caar insurance prices for an 18 year old?

just need some numbers for the price for the whole yaer

Cars that have cheap insurance?

im 18 and just passed my driving test, but unsure of what car(s) are cheap on insurance and road tax, is there a site i could go on to find the information i require?""

How good is tonik health insurance?

active college student who needs a supplement to our generic university health care. snowboarding/mountain biking accidents, etc.""

Can someone give me an auto insurance cost?

Does anyone know what the cost per month of Ohio car insurance would be for a 19 year old male. Just an idea would be good, thanks.""

I dont really have the money to purchase car insurance before i take my driving test?

i dont have the money to get car insurance before i take my driving test. is there anyways possible to get around that? dont just ******* say, get insurance either . its a waste of my damn time. im taking it wednesday and its in urbana ohio.""

Insurance?

If Im 17 and have my license, can I drive my friends car with insurance? or do I have to also have it?""

I had a car accident but insurance info exchanged what to do?

Ok today while leaving grocery store I was driving so on the middle of the stope light it turn green the car in front of me start moving than stopped all of the sudden I was about to drive and than slammed my breakes I barely touched the car in front of me he stooped came outside the car and said u scratched my car I told him I don't think that's my car . He asked for my insurance and I asked for his he said he didn't have them in the car so I refused to give him my insurance info .. I took aspic of the car plate and the damaged also he did I the same Gave home my name and my number .. Told him whenever u got the insurance info he can call me ... The problem the car is under my brother name and insured under his name as my name is not in nether of the car or the insurance.. What to do ?? My brother can't afford to add me on .. And I know the damaged wisent that much .. Please help should I call back with the insurance or just ignore ???

I got a speeding ticket and no insurance?

well my insurance was expired when i got the ticket. so when i renew it will it still go up?

Car insurance price difference?

I have just partially cleared my garage and want to know before i clear the rest of the garage and run around getting different quotes, how much cheaper is insurance parking in a garage rather than a drive.""

How much for dentures upper and lower and mini implants to secure both of them with no insurance in ohio .....

no insurance

Progressive auto insurance? or AAA..which one is cheaper?

in terms of (monthly payments)

Additional Driver costs?

How much should i expect to pay to add a permanent additional driver to my car insurance? It will be a driver on their provisional licence, aged 24. Its with Direct Line, in the UK I already have a quote, i just think i was quoted wrong, and want to know what other people think it usually costs.""

What is another way to say free insurance seminar ?

My insurance office is going to host a seminar to the public explaining personal lines (home, auto, commercial...) insurance coverage. What is a catchy headline for the flyer?""

Should I pay insurance on a car that I can't drive?

I'm very frustrated with this car & I won't be able to pay to get it fixed until September. Some people are telling me to still pay insurance on it, & others are telling me that it doesn't make sense to waste money, & that I should cancel the insurance. I don't know. I'm about to cry.""

Average auto insurance rates?

I'm doing a cost of living project for my Pre-Calculus class, and I need to find monthly cost for auto insurance. The project is hypothetical, and so far I have been unable to get any sort of estimation as my legal information is not accurate to my hypothetical information. So, I'm asking what would be a typical or average rate for a twenty-two year old female college graduate, relatively good driver, and first time buying insurance would be. The coverage should include Comprehensive and Collision, and it's just one driver, one car. Thanks a ton, and if you could tell me where you got your information, citation or personal experience, that'd be great as well.""

""Car insurance strange quotes, why?""

Back in August, I got a quote on a car, it worked out as 900 for the year.(I'm only 17), and since then I've been getting regular quotes, and can't help but notice how much it's gone up. In only 2 months, it's gone up from 900 to 1900. I haven't changed a thing, and if you've used confused.com you'll know that you can just re-quote, which is what I've been doing. Anybody know why it's gone up so much. By the way it goes up about 40 a day at the moment. Could it be because it's the end of the month, or the end of the year? Thanks to any answers in advance.""

Bad Faith Auto Insurance?

Should I hire an attorney for this?, I purchased a policy online a few months ago within the first few days that i had this insurance I had a storm and damaged my vehicle (minor) with hail damaged I submitted out a claim, appraiser was sent they covered the loss sent a check to me, now i take it to the bodyshop and try to have it fixed but they need a supplement, they contact insurance co. but insurance co, makes many excuses over this they state I dont have full coverage which I do, and it was verfied with them that i do, the next few weeks pass and then I finally get a call from a manager at the insurance company stating that they mistakenly sent me out a check because I made a false claim report, they said that they can tell by my pictures before policy was bought that vehicle had damaged (which is an excuse of denying supplement) and stated the the adjuster overlooked everything point here is that insurance co, cancelled my policy by stating underwriting issues, so now Im without insurance coverage, the manager also stated she reported this to the texas state but mentioned she could not put a stop payment on the check and that I could still use it to fix the car or cashout the check... I am really dissapointed at how all this was handelled, Im thinking about getting an attorney, I already discussed and this issue with the Insurance company and Im basicly told that I lied about the claim and they end my call... Should I wait to get an attorney or should I just get one and go from there? I believe this is bad faith insurance coverage, What should I do? I mean I still have the check it is not cashed out, I cant really do much with this check everyone charges an arm and a leg, can they file insurance fraud charges and if so even though I know I did everything right should I get an attorney?""

How much will I need for health insurance for 5 years?

I'm thinking of retiring when I'm 60 years old. I'm 55 years old now. Male non-smoker with controlled hypertension and cholesterol problem only. Not over-weight. ...show more

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-car-insurance-expensive-luther-clark"

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sacahoewea · 8 years

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I'm pretty sure people are supposed to ask me a number and i answer it but it's 3:30 am and I'm not tired and I've watched everything I want to watch on netflix so imma answer them all now. And no one would ask me any so like ok here we go. 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify 2. is your room messy or clean? Messy but I want to keep my next apartment clean and if I get a greyhound I'm gonna have to. 3. do you like your name? why? Eh yeah no complaints. 4. what is your relationship status? Single 5. describe your personality in 3 words or less. Better when drunk 6. what color hair do you have? Brown 7. what kind of car do you drive? color? A 2008 black mercury grand marquis aka Tom I love you my child ❤️ 8. where do you shop? I realized I haven't gone to a store for anything other than food since like Christmas. Maybe I'm wrong idk it's 3:30 9. how would you describe your style? Trying while trying not to seem like I'm trying 10. favorite social media account? snapchat 11. what size bed do you have? Queen 12. any siblings? 27 yo sister 13. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? I've been thinking about this a lot lately and idk. Maybe Orlando I'm not sure. Hopefully Greenville nc 14. favorite snapchat filter? I guess the current city one. It's cool when you're in an interesting place. 15. favorite makeup brand(s). Is this supposed to be for girls whoops? 16. how many times a week do you shower? It varies a lot week to week but I'd say an average of 5 lol 17. favorite tv show? The office duh 18. shoe size? I've been a 12 since high school but lately I've been wondering if I've been buying shoes too big for years so im going through an existential foot crisis. So maybe 11 19. how tall are you? 5' 9? Plus or minus an inch 20. sandals or sneakers? Sneakers 21. do you go to the gym? Mostly run but sometimes I do but nothing crazy. I always feel like I'm doing the machine or exercise wrong and people are laughing at me. 22. describe your dream date. Sex and then a big meal. Not the other way around for obvious reasons. Is that even a date? Idk it's my dream I can do what I want. 23. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Probably like $80 idk I'm too lazy to look. 24. what color socks are you wearing? None 25. how many pillows do you sleep with? 0 FUCK pillows 26. do you have a job? what do you do? I DO 😬 I'm an environmental engineer. I haven't started yet though 27. how many friends do you have? Like 8 I think 28. whats the worst thing you have ever done? I can only think of stuff I don't want the world to know. 29. whats your favorite candle scent? Cozy nights lol 30. 3 favorite boy names. Luke Tom Wilson 31. 3 favorite girl names. Crystal idk that's all I can think of 32. favorite actor? Jim Carey? 33. favorite actress? Amy pohler 34. who is your celebrity crush? Connor mcgregor lol 35. favorite movie? Yes man 36. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Nope but the glass menagerie by Tennessee Williams or the pearl by john Steinbeck 37. money or brains? Both 38. do you have a nickname? what is it? Not really. 39. how many times have you been to the hospital? Like for myself idk not many maybe like once to get stitches when I was 8 40: top 10 favorite songs. Top 3 are sams town, loner phase, and shake me down. After that it's hard to rank them. 41. do you take any medications daily? No I can barely take a multivitamin daily 42. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc). A little of both at times. I like my skin though it's served me well for how little effort I put into it. 43. what is your biggest fear? Being stuck in a life I hate without hope of it getting better. 44. how many kids do you want? -1 I'd like to return myself. 45. whats your go to hair style? Like normal and then a lil swoop to the side in the front lol 46. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)? A 5+ acre property with a stream running through it and a large two story house in the middle with no neighbors in sight and a long drive way leading up to it and on the second floor i want the master bedroom to be on the corner of the house and have floor to ceiling glass windows and my bed be in that corner so I can look out and be relaxed as I fail at falling asleep. 47. who is your role model? Small parts of several people. 48. what was the last compliment you received? Having a good idea? Idk 49. what was the last text you sent? Happy pi time. Wait no I said yaaaas after that. 50. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? Idk like 12 I have no idea tbh 51. what is your dream car? I'd like to keep Tom and then get a Silverado and a grand Cherokee. 52. opinion on smoking? Cigarettes gross. Weed ok but not for me 53. do you go to college? Just graduated UF woo 54. what is your dream job? An R&D engineer researching alternative energy. 55. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I want the population density of rural but the proximity to urban of suburban. Which probs doesn't exist. 56. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? No but my dad does 57. do you have freckles? Yeah mostly on my back. 58. do you smile for pictures? Yeah but not with teeth 59. how many pictures do you have on your phone? 5202 lol. 60. have you ever peed in the woods? Yeah aw reminds me of tailgating :( 61. do you still watch cartoons? Yeah but like bobs burgers 62. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? Chick fil a idc if that's not a choice 63. Favorite dipping sauce? Chick fil a sause 64. what do you wear to bed? XXL boxers. I hate wearing anything at all tight to bed 65. have you ever won a spelling bee? HA bitch please 66. what are your hobbies? Soccer running taking self adventures netflix YouTube 67. can you draw? If I try really hard but I don't have the patience so no 68. do you play an instrument? No 69. what was the last concert you saw? Sia! 70. tea or coffee? Neither. Water 71. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Neither but DD if I had to choose 72. do you want to get married? No 73. what is your crush’s first and last initial? AH 😏 74. are you going to change your last name when you get married? NA 75. what color looks best on you? Like a dark blue grey. I think it has a name but idk what it is 76. do you miss anyone right now? POOP :( 77. do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed for sure 78. do you believe in ghosts? Not in the traditional sense but like maybe in a scientific way of like multiple dimensions overlapping or something like that. 79. what is your biggest pet peeve? Absent minded slow people. 80. last person you called? Dad 81. favorite ice cream flavor? Mint chocolate chip 82. regular oreos or golden oreos? Regular 83. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow. I would lol 84. what shirt are you wearing? None 😏 85. what is your phone background? A person jumping off a cliff on the outside and a greyhound overlooking a meadow on the inside. 86. are you outgoing or shy? Shy 87. do you like it when people play with your hair? Usually no but lately in some settings lol 88. do you like your neighbors? Yeah we've never said more than hi but they're quiet so I like them 89. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Neither lol 90. have you ever been high? No 91. have you ever been drunk? Yes I wish I was drunk rn 92. last thing you ate? Chuys ❤️ 93. favorite lyrics right now? The entire song goats in trees by foster the people. Applicable af rn for me 94. summer or winter? Summer 95. day or night? Night 96. dark, milk, or white chocolate? Dark 97. favorite month? June but maybe not anymore. I liked it bc it was the beginning of summer with the comfort of knowing you still had another whole 2 months of vacation left. But now that I'm gonna be working so idk 98. what is your zodiac sign. Sagittarius 99. who was the last person you cried in front of? Honestly no one. I cried on the phone to my parents freshman year of college but no one will ever see me that vulnerable. 100. what color are your eyes? Blue/green

#this took me like 45 minutes Jesus I need to find something to do #or just sleep

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failinginvestigativejournalist · 8 years

Text

Dont freak out, itss just writing

i grew up fast (so fast) (too quick nigga) (wish i went through when i was just a bit bigger) can you tell me who the parent is uh ya the first time i drove a whip i was a fuckin kid, (96 suburban nigga) (yo yo, did you tell em why) oh ya shit my fault my mom was bleeding from her chin i dont know what from or what about, scared to death i took that drive to the ER (Medical SHIIIT) (mom got too drunk again and feel out) (wheres dad? in his room his doors locked, figures i dont expect, as i try to knock (no answer nigga) i dont blame em he removes himself from the sitiation so he dont hit her) ya i fucking grew quick, ya i fucking tryed some shit, the first time i dropped out and took some shroomies i was age 6 plus 6, thats 12 for the illiterates, actually aas a matter a fact it was fuckin pleasant as fuck as i drew back the droe and took another hit. now that i think that was the day, older brother came and gave me cig i obliged no way to say nay, i was still trippin and it was a sensational feelin, it left me stumblin and dizzy a head rush like no other i was hooked for live to the day and i dont blame him, i dont think he knew what he had started, adding to the compilation of the monsxter inside that took refuge and started, poison in his mind, the drugs altered his brain activity but he was buckled up and commited to the ride.Shit i just said in third person let me apologize to yall sometimes the ideas flow together like two fortune five mergin, these feels of hate be strong ya im hurtin, i cant blame no one, i cant choose the family i was birthed in, started sniffin ups felt my blood surgin, gotta big head but my nemisis, the evil inside myself was bigger aboutt the size of a white sturgeon, like some northern ish that canadain shit like british columbia or somethin idk, alls i can say is that BC bud out that bitch is my fav to blow, the sour D, diesel to be exact for you niggas who waana try to nit pick or correct my personal facts, let me just speak at you, all the hatin niggas tryin bring me down, bad news, i do drugs like steve from fuckin blues clues, but my rents always on time when that xshits due, any ways i side tracked speaking of tracks just lined some shit up did with speed did with need i did it with tact, im dextrous and shit i always have a unique train of thought oh shit trains again trains derailed at this point hhaaha i crack myself up sometimes with the wit in my words leh-let you in on the pun so you can join in my fun, about the lines the lines are no more you didn arrive in time i promise these raps have rhythm they have rhyme i aint spittin to waste your time, i aint spittin to catch a dime, bag or bitch, it really dont matter, niether last long but they are still my niche, come here bitch come hit this shit, this time dont have a fit, mind over matter just stick yuh nose in these rails sit down for a bit, drink some wata, go to your happy place we are gettin to old for me to have tote on yuh just from hitten lines but i put up wit it, you got that 50 thou boat on yuh, not to mention your ride, that shit is so sweet i cant decidddee which id rather seed, as in inseminate with my seaman as i play the part as a seaman workin for seimans on a marine voyage i aint like you im a higher being, i dont know whatchu talkin whatch your eyes be seein i am a divine heathan i really cant fucking believe a niggas still breathin im a florida boy born and raised, i sit the fuck back drink my beer in the shade, high as i usually am a rinny tin tin rinscotts tale \down the rintin like a shark fin poatched by commercial fisherman thrown in a bin, no regard for life the human race is so greedy, people just aint my type, say what you want i know me best and i know im right. my creative talents on the other hand be outta sight, im my own worst enemy to cross the bridge pay the fee, trollin in the hood for that g, withdrawin, shakin i drop to my knee look up to the sky ask god if he sees. hear the sound of humming, huh must be bees, or im trippin out maybe its a flash back i dont remmember. whats th-this street, tremblin think my heat skipped a bit, or a couple shakinso bad my knes begin to buckle, anxiety can be dibilatated held me back from so much in life thers no debating. unfamiliar route. made it to this bar ordered a stout got to thinking, you may ask what about, this is why i like solitude to be on my own to answer to noone to depend on myself and live it to the fullest while im yung, my mind will reel, replaying all i know every single memory, that im capable of bringing back, i compare my brain to a file cabinet, i keep it hidden like in an office towards the back. A photographic memory is a gift and a curse, ill tell you whatat, if you dont keep it in check you will end up in a herse, sure you can remember the happy shit the good things in your life but you cant fucking forget the huge hits the fucking bad bitch the one who broke your heart? dounno how to forget you but i think i know where to start, i thought it was drugs, i numbed my body with chemicals little did i know with every shot the metaphorical shovel scooped out some more dirt from the inconcievable whole i fuckin dug. my life has been weird kinda like an opriental from a flee market an awkward rug, with no real spot in the house, was always the black sheep in the fam i tryed to tip toe as quiet as a mouse, some tom and jerry shit my mistakes and regrets cbhasing me around like tom the cat from that shit, I hide in my hidey whole, disconeected from any social environmeent i often found myself cryin, but self loathin is kinda like being a a gay with some dicks hes blowin, givin a ski job pitty is the lube hatred is the tube the vessel to carry out a deed the fags not sure about, hes experimentin comparable to some situations in my life cept wont catch me with two dudes in a shower, that was just a metaphor. you feel me? im sure the haters will hop all over that verse but just fuckinh hear me. I got my shades on and these bitches special, haters they block, they keep you no fun, sticklers out of sight out of mind like spf 75 sun block, that industrial shit, factory born hear the lunch bell on the horn, an hour passes the busy bees come back to the floor to join the others to join the masses; the hoard., here the hum of the worker bees at work as they sneek rum in there flasks stuck it in to the hive got it past the queen time to catch a buzz to make this pain stop while i avoid the fuzz the narks at work, cant control it even if they wanted to stop. i dont want to hurt. this was a metaphor for the endless rut of a reality ive become accustomed to; succomed too, the low of the low. comparable to a german trench on the frontlines., my life feels like a conveyer belt, makin the same product running the same direction never really goiong any where, now thats was an analagy, keeping up? yung unsensitive how many? 0 fucks, 0 fucks giveen, 0 blights forgiven, spiteful to death and mornful for noone, nothing left inside just another no-go, malfunctioning product family be like feeling “ i feel like they robbed us” of our brother our son and our friend , dont worry fam im still with you in your hearts up to the end. im tired of our society with all its malice and fallacy, thinking to my self how sad it must be, to be washed in the brain to be hypnotized, this shits so insane.you want that shit super sized? of course nigga watchu you sayin. A glutonous society obsessed with self indulgence people actually still believe good people are in abundance. Speaking of which, fuck the people for a tec, have you looked around lately, this earth is a wreck, mark my words we headin straight for destruction, We are not being good care takers, we fuckckin actin so careless what doesdo the opeople in power really expect?? just pass it on to the next generation “ohh, its not our life time we will leave it for you” Thats a big fuck you to the generations after you undeserving self entitled fucks finallyy croak. get the fuck outa here, tell me when you sold your sold, you heartlesxs bastards would give anything for xsome more of that paper thgat rules all, the pressure you have put on everyone, no one is an exception, to support ourselves and loved ones to provide for our own and multiple other peoples nees, the urge to make money looms over our heads like a pestiliant storm cloud of angst and uncertainty, boreing a fucking whole in our moral, making peoplpe desperaate rising crime rates because people get desperate, people need to survive and they will do dam near whatever it takess to make the money they need, for whatever purpose. ill whipe my ass with it throw in your cards i will win you better fold. i have freeedom, you ask what? anominity you fuckers, i can moldd my own life i have the freedomm of choosing, i certainly dont have to wait for legislation to pass a bill which you bribed for votes to do so anyways, to do something something much worse than im capabloe of ever doing, intentionally ruining the environment and turning our planet to mars just for paper with and idea (with a “hey, take our word for it, its worth something “””WE PROMISE”””” fucks) behind it not even gold bars, fuck you niggas mark my words illl bring all you mother fuckers down, ill run you fucks out of town, you hear that sound? its a train. its my passion and my determination to take you out, maybe ill use a fuckin plane? i mean its o.k. for the CIA to do it, right? Create this ridiculously elaborote ruse this plot, thyat fucking fooled all the ignorant and brainwashed americans you have already sucked in with your cancerous propaganda, kids lost to your bullshit through social media and the fucking criteria you make teachers teach young minds, we are taught from a very young age that “ huraaahh america is number one! Terrorists bad! Environmental destruction of a planet good!” how about we help some of the third woorld countries (which you know we wouldnt have to be gunning down women and children in the streets) we could just like give them the water they need? help them gentrify there communities teach them how to develop better skills, teach them more efficient ways to take advantage of their land, maybe bring some seeds to food sources that can be grown creating a bit of self sustainability that may not be indigenous but would grow in their country?? you greedy fucks just want oil, when we have enough in our reserves in alaska/canada to last north america 500 years falsey blame others, create an imaginary war “the war on terrorism, which infact is a fucking cover a false entity, to entice patriotism to loosely keep this crumbling empire together the last attempt, the only thread left in the button holding up the pants we call america, you forgot to tell the word all that shit is just whack [ simply a meticulously pplanned and executed ploy to spur interests in the middle east, control the oil and power will return back east, return to u, Cause god knows you tax the fuck out of us for EVERYTHING especially mnother fucking gas, so we can pay for wellfare and pay for fucking solar power for rich fucks who e==inherited wealth, people who hdont know what working a day means and never will be, never had a problem, never been broke “oh shit my fucking croket set is missingg a ball” lose the pretense fuckers, you cocksuckers, arrogant low lives.. Money makes you any better then the hard working man that cover your tax breaks pay like our fucking ppolice forces (who are a bunch of ROTC drop outs with a badge and sense of power nnow being unfair and crooked taking some kind of revenge on the idea of the kids who picked on them all through out school” Motherfucker its harder to become a plumber, the learning and process is longer/more rigorous then a 6 month police academy which is fucking my lil pony world ( ith ink there is a fantasy kids show for my lil pony with their own fantasy dimension/world)compared to a military bootcamp. A doctrine instilled to stop the spread of communisim wherever and whenever it may presenet itsxelf? when is the fighting going to stop in that area of our dying earth, thjey have been fighting eachother since lifes initial birth, what whoever was in power or in charge of trading the petroleumn to us wanted to charge an extra dollar 4 dollars aBARREL instead of 3??? whaa you fucking greedy cunts,? so we invade and take control put there people on dog collars?? for wshat a dollar difference in productionfreedom of speech as you mothers suck the livlyhood from our home like a blood sucking leech, so careless, you know exactly what your doing, you just dont care it aint your problem your headin towardcs the end your death is brewin, well im the reaper of death cloaked in black i always get my man like a cold inwe can hardly co-exist and efficiently function. We are on world one love bob marley shit im getting tired of going throught the motions im all fucked up inside and shit. Early development can be a lynch pin. to either set a strong first corner stone, ceremonial placement of the first corner stone, free mason shit, corn and vegetable oil, so many customs and traditions are goin down a fuckin hill catch em rollin. Early life is so fucking critical for a young kid, childrens minds are like a sponge they are looking up to their elders they are developing mentally they consume everything around them and retain more than you know, give your kids a healthy and stimulating environment and they will let there talents grow let there talents show let there brilliance flow let there inhibitions go, gone like dust in the wind, never catch em in trouble nothing, not one sin. They will begin to get older, be super organized, super focused for school, every class haxs a folder. As you watch them grow you will feel it in your heart you will fuckin kno, atleast you did this at least you used your parental guidance for good. when you die you know youll be missed, your kid dont throw fits, not one bit, hes such a chip off the old block that was cliche as fuck haha tuck em inh for bed his forhead you kiss. I just might fucking shed a tear, I cant fight this urge to drink a beer. I cant deny this fucking fear, I must look like just like headlights shinin onm a deer, jock strap aroun d my ankles, dumbfounded, look in my eyes, perplexed, look on my face as it hits, you get a certain taste in your mouth this race is coming to a close suddenly your filled with doubht, seriously you should be care free, yuou did your duty as a parent, im jealous wish that was me, chill the fuck out go drink some fucking relaxing tea or something, sobrietyy seems to be a good mixture along with love and rationality to make a family function like a well greased machine, like a mechanisim freshly whipped down with some white lithium grease. tuned and ready to go, temped to huff the fumes and left everything go, turn your car on shut the garage door, let death grip you, dont seem to care anymore, I cant change the past and i have no regreats, will i make it to thirty? “right over here people!” “place your bets!”, ill take my tickets to my Life Show and just scalp em make some extra cash, im already absent, so detatched;incapable of feeling. even if im there aint nothing going on emotionally in there (guarantee you im smilin an nodding i really dont give 2 fucks no more”, take that money right to the plug i promote fucking drugs not hugs, or why not both? why does the saying have to be one or the other when sxometimes its both you desire the most. Take the scalpin’ money from the tickets to the play of my life, go on down to the hood, pick up some bags mis amigos habla “Drogas” los hermanos tambien, this urge is hard to fight. Its a romance [a ritual of being, so0mething un explainable i wish i was never a part of, im always metaphorically bleeding. My poker face is strong, fuck showing weakness i alwayxs thought it was to show emotuion. wrong....... but its not, it can save your life, can \get you through, throw you a life jacket, get you out of that tide you fought, that frigid water no warmer than dry eyes.. Ive always been a loose cannon, I go with the flow, not lookin back, been chillin with the old heads they were suprisxed i could hang and, back to the point haha literally or figuratively is the question... im not gonna keep you waitin or leave yall hangin, i hate cliff hangers, make me wait 45 five minutes leave me jonesin’ its slow goin like grindin that ‘crete in the hangers polishin’ that baby out and coatin with some apoxy, its a process, i just get my drugs, whate=vers around and hit bangersz til i pass out, thatsx how my life has been goingg, i feel like im in the chambers just waiting to be gassed out. Flip the fuuckin switch you fuckin pussy end all this malcontent and hate, make itt black, eternal reest at loast.. dress me up real nice maybe a sharp vest, go through the processions and go through the motions fucking burn my body bitches, i want to be in the ocean ive always felt drawn to it, like an unexplainable,, unatainable unfakeable feeling or notion. im happiest sippin a coctail right by the ocean, thats where you put me to rest... ill be pissed as fuck dont treat me like a fucking ruck; i beenn aroound, age is but a number, my knowledge is vast and profound, ya thats right bitch im fuckin educated, know more tthan you will learn in your life time and im 20 years, old get what im sayin? i dont got a big heaad im actually humble, just at my breaking point. if i was a volcanoe you would feel the rumble; the pre-emptive signs of an eruption pre-determineed in the creator’s mind he took his divine time to find a wayy to grin away the time it took to find the book i bind when al i want is to be stress free and unwind but im the opposite wound up liike the grandfather clock i wish i could stop , the wheels are in motion the gears are set to full speed the feels keep comin i got this itch; this notion, this inkling to stop minglin, stop wastin my time with u useless fuccks. i think its time, its not the end my journey, just started this epic tale of sorrow, my feelings have departed, im fuckingg frozen over colder than ice, dry ice. cant touch me im full of hate and vice, addictive personality on a suicide mission like a ffucking missionary willing to die for his faithh,. i wish man willing to be a martyr for his religion.. ya bitch i smoke stoges in the hotel room just send the bill to him if it comes to me itll end up in the fucking rubbish bin with a looggie on top coughin up brown shit to young for that talk, to young for heart disease pack and a half a day to try to keep my miind at ease, the stress is buildin im like a tickin time bomb, im so wound up like a clock rigged to blow mount vesuvius, a test nuke... the alarm is soundinn off. A bright flash like a million lightning strikes, bout to pop off.. but atleast with style got my limited eddition nikes, listen to me i soound like them, listen to me bitching like a fucking fem, bottle it up, thats what society saays, male suicide is at an all time high like two polar opposites due to wed, its never gonna work im always going to be sad im always going to hurt, no fuck it, im a lock it up and throw away the key, im gonna forget about all this shit and be a fuckin G, be hardcore like the brothhers, leave bitches cryin in the street like aall our fuckin mothers, 32 degrees ferenhiet tatted on my left pec it signifies the tempture of my heart no longer warm and red, its frozen over, it hardly beats, that shit is smaler than the grinches, i turned into what they want me to be, a danger to society, getthe fuck outa myface before i shoo,t b, I got nothing to lose, living for nothing, nada, goose eggs nigga dont give a fuck reckless, no regard for life i dont give two fucks a partridge in a ghetto street, aint no merry christmas song, i like my biches thick and dirty wearin'n some fesh tomy thongs, i use em abuse and enthuse them then ruse thm excusse them fuckin confusethem "why you so distaant all of the suden" keep the vow of silence, like a monk on a holy missio, a friar on a divine quest, sending telepathic messages look into my eyes and see, get the fuck out i was never real these feelings meant nothing to me manipulator, manipulationist making up woprds never been a relationist, the masster of his craft a ventrilliquist or a puppet master you were to blind to see, mama was right just a socio path, ya bitch tell your 7 year old child that; see how long his chipper attitude lasts, im lower than nothing, not even a worm maybe i could bbe a fucking tick suckin blood, noting left of the kid i used to be, no more self worth, i cant love you when i cant love myself, how you expect me to support you when all i do is grab a spoon andd melt all the money thaat comes my way, a junkie, bum destined for an early death and you think yous my bride to be, sorry hun you reaad me wrong, i know its hard cause bitches never know whats goin on inside my head, as i lay in bea,d staring off to somewhere, anywhere but next toyou, staring off into space thinking about my drug abuse, asking myself why, but i know the answer ready to die, but i think ill get a lapper frm one more danceer, i wanna go out in style, not som lame shit maybe go up to a mountain and stand on a cliff, look down, see wher im destined to end up as i take the safety off, finger carressing the trigger, a cool wind blows as i prepare to leave my loved ones bitter, surprised they sstayed aound thislong only ever let em down ever since i was young, never good enough always disappointing this rap comes so easily writing it like noothing, to get this off my chest as theend comes near, i shaped my own destiny i chose to die, now i chose to die here, fuk your beliefs and your faith in gods plan i took my life intomy own fucking hands, i think we all know einstiens theory of insanity, i been doin the same shit fr so long now exspectin shit to change and, i guess im insane.. i took my brilliiant, my sharp mind and put it to waste. its time to pull the inevitable, the good die young idk in this case if thats viable, im scummy i did whatever it took to get my fix to kill that pitt in my tummy. i hurt people close, i stole from my famil.y.. its time to end it, like i caqme into the world, by myself always alone, soemthing that my father toldme that really stuck, its cynical as fuck, but he was right. he said stay out of the bullshit the groggy muck. Only lookout for yourself son, ive been arounnd awhile, [people dont give a fuck about anyone else they care only for themselves, in the end at the most critical time they will always choose them instead of some one else. We are alone in this wrld and its the hard truth jut learn not to ddepend on others while you are still in your youth, ive been fucked over to many times by people i thought i was very close to. now im out to get mines me and only me you and only you, get that fucking look on ur face sorry for beeing real and telling the truth, im trying to prepare your for whats ahead, im tryig to prevent you from depending on a brutus who will fill you with lead, stab you in the back for their own personnal gain, being to trustworthy is a heroic flaw like being egotistical, wanting to help your friends to much, being aragont ect. kryptonite to super man pease dont be batman and let it be yourr bane, bane as in the villian to let you know. im back, here are my words again not my dads, ji really do miss all the relationships i had, havent spoken to my dad in years tookk one for theteam stayed with mama dukese inj the ssplit to save faace, foir my innocent younger brothers. you know what shes also my motheer, shes not capable of surviving alone i didnt think i would abandon her ever i thought id never do that, i stuck with her out of evveryone, a family oof six she looked out for me in times of strife wish i could give her one last kiss, just shot my last 20 and i fucin missed, absesses dont matte any more i bet this 45 shoots true time for the finale, no way i can miss, as the curtains close on my young life one last thought people really took to me, like white on rice, women were drawn to me the mystery i had them enticced, June baby as a cancer i am hard to understand i met a chick once who had a spot in my liifes bnd, she knew me we had a connection so much love we were never disrespectin im glad i could atleast i could teach hersome shit before she ripped my beeating heart out of my chest and stepped on it. Loved hermore than life and i still do i promised her one day i would find her and marry her, walkher down that isle say the words ido, she felt what i felt i know its tru, wasnt ready fgor commitment baby i wil alwayslove yo never orget you if i can i connect with you, like a disease i infected you i aways broght you downi was just baggage extra wait holing you down dragging around im glad youo saw through my snake charming ways saw me for who i was a bumm who couldnt change noot in a short number of days, someone so crippled by pain and grief it was beyond belief, she was the only one i wore my heart on my sleeve for , she lef me sobbinig, crrying violently without end in the door the doorway to more pain. i know she had no choice she had to live her lifee i was just in he way, i was obscuring her focus. eye on the prize isthe only way to achieve your goals and tnt them fuckin boulders, in your way, today i die babe, long time comin bet yall thought i was here to stay. baby l dontshed a tear kno i died drinkin a beer haha but nah you were my last thoughts thinking about all the time we spent getting lost in eachothers eyes and gettin so close we read eachothers thougts, illl miss or idk if ill be concious or just nothjingness, i guess ill fnd out when i finally stop being a pussy and proced with this, see ya velma ill always be your shaggy thinka bout me and dont forget what i made you see, in your self im just another memory on our shelf but let it bbe one thaat sticks we had somethingthat made ssense just clicks somethin that felt so right im really gonn miss, everythinig abnout you im sorry you couldnt trust me but i dont doubt why. i know the truth ive never denied a thing in my life, dont getme wrong everybody tells a little white lie, but you know what its a sign of intelligence not to be afraid to say idk not to lie for the hll of it. Ill see you soon in the nxt life or two i hope reincarnatiuon has a possibility of being true, godbye cruel world th ride is over it was a hell of a whirl, i leave you with absolutely nohing conntributted i was just a part o the cancer people had to live with, butnever acknowledgedd, acted ignoant to ther surroundings as daddy paid for college, i burned bright and hot and had a lot of fun, i had alot of life experienc got alot of shit done, nothing productivee of course in ssocieties eyes but i did fullfill atleast some personal goals, important things in my eyes, the curtains are almost done descending as my pittiful life is ending, but keep your pitty mother fuckers i dont want shit from any of you i dont give yoou nothin dont be so self righteous you look like a bunch of fools, greive for me or celebrate my life i guess its on you how you chhoose to rfemmeber a nobody that nobody knew, a couple feet before the curtains drop, is that? myy eyes decieving? me? no i do see that a single rose descends from the skies, i stare intently at the work of art, a rose is soo beautiful, a representation of love, from the heart, so delicate with its velvet petals, easily ruined a boket wouldve been nice, but who am i fooling, thats a beautiful thing, that was really nice. the product bubbles as i take my last hit of ice, cant takemy eyes off that rose.. its so beautiful... the gun on my forhead now, looking at each individual pedals.. dew from the early mornin forming a small puddle around that naturral phenom, that iconic organic, spectaacular symbol of sometthing real, somethin that matters, something sensual.

As the bits of his brain splatter behid him, arms spread; with grace, almost angelic.he falls off the ciff a hundred feet now for falling, weird but there was a look of peace in his eyes; on his face, maybe he wll finally find happiness.. he fell with nobility and so much grace the floor he hit, his finall restingplace, what cuold be a better box then a natural setting, a beaauty of nature, crawling all around and he will return to the earth, the mother wll take him back just as she gave birth, i thinnk this shit is over now its not my story to tell, inside voices kids no reason to yell. shhhhhhhhhhh.

dont depend dont believe the [enter here]

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