#im not even like stressed anymore
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aaa that’s fair, i also have some sleep issues so i commiserate <333 wishing you well and good rest and warm blankets
(ps just bought a new vibe 🫡👀)
- 🌅
ENJOY THE NEW VIBE GODSPEED GODBLESS may she never run out of charge 🫡🫡🫡
#and yeaah they SUCK#im not even like stressed anymore#i used to be and thats why tehy started and got REALLY bad#but now literally the onl ything that stresses me is nOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP#fuck sake#flusterasks#🌅
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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I Am Being Held Hostage. Send Help.
w/o text:
#in honor of pride month ending: these fruity mfs <3#they won't leave me alone. i have not thought of anything or anyone else in days#i will be driving later and i expect to get so caught up in Them#that in going 80 down the freeway ill hit a pebble and my car will flip and explode in a brilliant flash of light. killing me instantly.#Joking. driving stresses me out too much to get even mildly distracted#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#laughingstock#yk a week or so ago i was shipping them somewhat ironically#Not Anymore!!!! Yeehaw!!!#are they considered a rarepair??? im honestly unsure#i think so... ive seen more unprompted julie/wally or poly frank/eddie/howdy#ive seen No unprompted laughingstock#i have seen it featured in One fic#yeah its a rarepair. me and like. three other people will carry it tho its fine#ive got a strong back. allegedly.#Ohhhhh Shit#mr loverman by ricky montgomery just came on and its laughingstock. To Me.#I LOVE THEMMMMMMM
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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#not to complain ab the same stuff i always complain ab#but my artblock is soooo bad . its so bad and frustrating and limiting and demotivating#because instead of being able to draw whatever whenever i feel like im chained to random bursts of inspiration#that i cant manifest just by willing it so yk. and imlike why…#so many ppl who draw whether for their job or for their hobby seem to be able to do it whenever#and its like yeah i could put pen to paper rn but theres such a mental disconnect that its not enjoyable anymore#dude its so whateverr😭😭 like its so made up and ik its just a psychological thing but it feels so physically .Hard#rrrgwgqq#like i try to maintain the habit by drawing stuff out even w no end in mind#but that also stresses me out bc its likeIDKK idk#silly tbh#seeing all of this art arnd me all the time > online and stuff is so nice and inpsiring#and it makes me want to do that too but i legitcannot . like i am being squished by a boulder and my hands are chained to 30lb weights#whatfreakign ever dude .like whateverrr#i want to grind my brain 2 a pulp . honestly🙌#like what do u mean u cant u literally just do it.but im the one exception to that
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for @earliebirb thank you for donating to my kofi 🥹❤️
buy me a coffee? it'd really help me out ☕️ ✨
#i didnt post it here but im in an extremely bad situation right now where i cant afford even food or rent or pet care anymore#so every donation helps me to literally like. survive im not exaggerating#ive been so stressed & sad & scared so genuinely anything helps & i appreciate it so much you have no idea#thank you a million times over if you donate & earl thank you for not only doing that but also just being so kind & supportive generally#avengers doodles#mcu#avengers#marvel#steve rogers#captain america
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Joker shouldn’t make a habit of knifing without looking, but he can’t help it. Akechi’s dispassionate expression as he watches himself dissolve into sludge under Ren’s blade is much more interesting than said sludge. Joker wipes off his dagger, sheathes it, and says, “Is it weird watching me kill you?”
“It’s a novelty,” says Akechi.
Another novelty: Ren’s never seen Crow dressed as Akechi before. It’s incredibly odd to watch him hop and flicker between hiding spots looking for all intents and purposes like he’s about to head to school. It’s odder still because the polite smart-casualwear doesn’t at all match the antipathy Akechi’s wearing on his face. Whenever they’d spent time together, Akechi had always worn a pleasantly interested smile; but that pretty face, too, was not what Ren had been pining after.
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chapter 9 of "as you like it" aka akechi palace au. 11.8k, the long trek to the treasure, the philosophy of taking a heart.
happy fourth birthday to this fic!!! 🥹
#rookfic#p5#akeshu#aughughfughfugd this was meant to be even longer but it got really stupidly long so i had to chop it in half so now the chapter count.#is higher. i lied last time.#i can't believe this fic is four years old...#i also updated the summary because this fic is four years old#guys ive been so sick and stressed for like a week#it's a miracle this is getting out but i wanted it to get out on its birthday#and also im so fucking sick of sittin g on this chapter ive reread it so many times it isnt words anymore#i tneeds to go. it needs to get a job. it needs to move out#AYLI
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Love slowly but surely becoming the odd one out in my circle for not using chat gpt even though it would "make my life so much easier and i could spend less time revising stuff" /neg
#“you need to learn how to use it if you want to make money” says my mom#“you should use it to sum up those huge texts so you can study them easier in less time” says my best friend who's technically also anti-ai#“you should—” how about i start fucking biting#little bit of my soul dies everytime i hear smth like that#at this point i dont even know why i hate it so much anymore. i just do. i guess its the principle of it. it's core. but it's everywhere#it tires me out and im so tired already#cant i get help without having to ask a machine for it? is it really all there is left for me to turn to? did i fall this low? did we?#it wouldn't even recognize whats important and what isn't#i think I'll just tear a nerve from stress on my own#sighs#delete later maybe#i dont think i care at this point#sunshine talks
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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went to post this on twitter but i didnt wanna get banned . crazy that u can scrape my entire lifes work and i cant even tell u to die over it <3
#im just so ........#grips fists#i feel Helpless#i hate feeling like the people i know are receding further and further Away from art communities and the public because its so#painful right now#to be posting art :(#it just IS.#and to the motherfuckers in Toyhouse doing this like... i cannot stress enough how much if u called me rn i would tell u to die 2 ur face#i just... cant pretend like im Okay with u being anywhere Near the same space as me anymore <3#there are people i Hate on an individual level and#i still want to see them eat. just not at my table#but to everyone who Scrapes Art. I want you to Die <3 ....#you value having pretty little image and serving yourself over the grief of millions of artists#to the point where you break into Our spaces where we trust that we're at least safe from *you* motherfuckers#and take Even More ...#youre fucking#selfish and greedy#truly an embodiment of every fucking sin#unable to fucking Help Yourself ?#imagine if all of these people were like. contributing to society.or. idk. DRAWING#the Waste it generates stresses me out to no fucking end too#like you will literally harm the entire human race for Yourself#i Hate you . I Hate you so Wholly#I hate Everything you are and Everything you have done to me and Everything you have done to my community and my peers#yeah. i want you to Die. The same way i want a politician to die.#no human Deserves death <3 but i still want you to <3#annnyyywaayyyyyss#i wont tag this as my art LMFAO its basically a fucking#vent post#i just HAD to get my feelings out cuz genuinely every time i talk about this with my friends it
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i know we joke about mirabelle being the beloved token cis because of her quest, but tbh there’s something there maybe about a trans person who doesnt wish to get surgery and feels like they have to to be taken seriously as a trans person…. idk is this anything
#tangentially related but eve’s posts about potential intersexism in vaugarde have me liking intersex mira….#im not trying to distract from the aroace focus of her storyline btw#like thats still the main takeaway altogether#but idk… something to be said about the pressure a trans person feels to ‘’validate’’ their identity in the eyes of other people#maybe a bit tmi but i see a bit of myself in that bc i felt like i had to want top surgery to be a good nonbinary person#(even tho i didnt hold other people to that standard at all (hey mira also does that lol)#but it was something i always felt anxious about and didnt really want to do. and i stressed bc i thought it made me a fake trans person#because if i dont want the surgery then am i even valid in my identity?#to be clear: thats not an issue for me anymore ive moved past it#nor do i think its like. a trans issue to ‘’pressure’’ people into getting surgery bc thats dumb#i feel like that pressure comes more from cis people who dont consider you ‘’really trans’’ til you have surgery#except theyll also get pissed if you have surgery bc trans people cant win with these idiots#its not a 1:1 allegory or anything and i dont think it was intended or anything the same way the aroace stuff is#but idk. theres something there i think#echoed voice#isat spoilers
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Ahahaaaa oh my goddd can you not make "ADHD undereating" and "ADHD overeating" into a competition of who has it worse and who has nothing to complain about, that'd be awesome
#im not even going to reply to that person im not gonna argue with someone who clearly is fucking#grading my symptoms on if they're as bad as their#guess what i also feel like fucking shit when i overeat and it causes my body a lot of stress#and it fucks with my hormones and it fucks with my mood#and i live a piece of shit horrible terrible life whenever I can't get myself out of that and somehow#but my brain makes me do it and it's hard to stop and sometimes i have to eat even when im in pain#cause that's the only way i can concentrate on something or the only way that i can stimulate my brain#even though i feel sick and I don't want to do it anymore so maybe shut the fuck up#oh my godddd#fuck that person#oh i would take overeating any day maybe shut the fuck upppp#overeating especially on foods that stimulate the brain well PUTS YOU IN THE STATE OF UNDERNUTRITION JUST LIKE UNDEREATING#YOU IDIOTTTTT#sorry this is so personal to me and someone just went on a tirade on how much they have it worse cause they don't eat#good lord go fuck yourself#that post was just because i never see anyone talk about this i only ever see the other side of the coin and it makes me feel alone
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the fact that i immediately landed an awesome job right out from graduation but then got covid in august and now my brain doesn't work right and i might lose my job because of it . there's a funny joke in here somewhere maybe
#txt#haha. like. how lucky was i to get this job. and unlucky to get sick and have my brain fucked over#also a loss of time perception. time does not move for me it feels like 7am still and its 10am#i feel like i got lobotomized. brainfog and much less of a filter of what i say/do and fatigue etc#shortness of breath when im stressed too. fucking annoying#i keep fucking up on the simplest tasks at work. literally filled out a simple form wrong that i've been doing right since day 1#and my supervisor is patient and i tried explaining brainfog but idt she takes it seriously and she gets more annoyed the more i screw up#and like. i need this job!!!!!!!!!!! it pays disgustingly well!!!!!! but if i cant do simple tasks right anymore then what am i even doing#ive had this stuff since late august but its so much worse suddenly and i dont know why :((#to be deleted /#<- if i can even remember i made this post at all LOL someone shoot me
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also lately ive wanted to go on a date soooooo bad i just got over a disturbing crush of about 2 years but hes still mildly on my mind bc im lonely af i miss feeling like anyone is attracted to me at all. but i refuse to go on more bad first dates bc i want to feel special… 2 was enough. i will remain celibate until someone new impresses me and they aren’t a disgusting person that i should avoid at all costs. this is impossible for me unfortunately
#im not even embarrassed about being a virgin anymore the older i get im like shit this is just a lifestyle#im not going to put myself through all this stress just to possibly get a boyfriend thats so silly to me
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why did you plagiarize someone else’s pro eddie post 💀
ok so imma make this real simple for you:
● ALL my posts are far from an anti eddie post. I love eddie. as a fellow cunty hispanic he is so dear to me. I think the word you're looking for is pro buddie.
● I have no clue what you're talking about and even if I did this wouldn't be plagiarism if I took an idea and made it my own (assuming that my bucktommy post isnt word for word of this supposed buddie post). Maybe learn the actual definition of plagiarism.
● if you wanna send an ask like this at least have the balls to show your face (as to say: don't do it anonymously) or do you only have the courage when you're anonymous? But really how much more anonymous can you get than a tumblr blog? But whatever go off. Also anonymous is now turned off 😊💕 because if you don't have the courage to send an ask like this without being anonymous (i.e. more anonymous than a fucking tumblr blog 🙄) then you just don't need to send it.
● First I get accused of being a new acc of a racist homophobic (most likely transphobic) white lady in her 40s when I'm hispanic bi nonbinary and 24 and now I'm accused of plagiarism over a silly little post about buck being horny on main for tommy... so fucking done 🙄 if you can't engage in fandom maturly then get off my fucking page istg be ffr.
● so are fanfic writers all plagerists now for taking an idea and making it their own? be for fucking real bro.
● literally don't get how a post about Tommy can sound anything like a post about Eddie when they are literally nothing alike (no matter how many people try to say he's an Eddie knockoff, which like ew).
#wren rants#asked and answered#now go away#911 on abc#911 abc#bucktommy#buddie#fandom discourse#as cher would say#ugh as if!#why cant people fandom maturly anymore#as much as a hellscape as the spn fandom was it really spoiled me and im ickified#i was so excited for 911 cuz it was everything we didnt get to have for dean but now im lowkey wondering at what cost#like im not even a big blog so its a little stressful#but whatever ig
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we are loonies and we are proud
#crying in bed because im so stressed#and regretting my gcse choices#because ive lost all love for art#i hate art#i dont even draw anymore#and im leagues behind everyone else who does art#my friends are so good at art and i feel embarassed standing next to them#like im a kid trying to be like them#not to get venty on main wow#this ones being deleted trust
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