#im not doing fine
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I have not slept in over 40 hours
I'm doing so fine.
#im not doing fine#didn't really have a choice in not sleeping#cousin got into a rlly bad accident#spent the last day and a half in the hospital waiting#hes doing fine now#i hope#god this is not helping my mental health#im sure ill be okay#ill be okay#he'll be okay#everyone will be okay#talking :3#personal#i desperately need a mental break#but dont know when to start it
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what’s going on todayyyy?
#carlos sainz jr#im not doing fine#his baaaaack#THE VEIN ON THE SHOULDER#locking myself in my room and not getting out until I’m cured from this insanity
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As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
#personal#im still fighting it but im also a realist so I’ve accepted that this will be our future#rant#gen ai is fucking boring#I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a ‘going against the crowd. not like the rest of society’ type (it would be depressing if it did)#but yeah even in a world where it’s considered totally fine to use ai to make art I’ll still be using my bare hands#because I like it and nobody can take that from me#if you’re a young artist interested in or already using ai. just know that the thing you rely on to make art can be taken away at any point#all of it. and there’s nothing you can do about it if they decide to. it doesn’t belong to you
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me and gang at the haunted house
#i haven't seen the movie yet#i just thought this image was hilarious i needed to draw it with my tails design#i lovr that dumb gay and his genius fox buddy who is also dumb but he's 8 it's fine#harv's art#art#fanart#digital art#did this one on my phone with ibispaint x instead of my usual krita so#ibispaint x#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie#sonic movie 3#agent stone#tails the fox#miles “tails” prower#safe fur work#sfw furry#sonic fanart#sonic fandom#how tf do i tag sonic art#furry/oc artist struggling to tag fanart#fork found in kitchen#i have more polished designs coming i promise guys im serious this time#love u gang#if u saw this already no u didnt i keep posting to the wrong blog
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website
#like yeah i WISHED i could do that sort of stuff#but i felt so completely isolated from everyone else at my school bc ppl were so nasty to me#its fine cos im doing all the stuff i missed out on now that im in university#but some ppl dont even get that chance#maybe its not that serious but. idk. just dont be a dick#but also ppl who didnt do that stuff acting like theyre better than ppl who did is fucking annoying and also a dick move. btw#📼
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i'm making myself laugh thinking about this but I wholeheartedly believe madame morrible absolutely HATES the thought of glinda and elphaba being together like the mere mention of gelphie would probably send her into immediate cardiac arrest and it's not even because she's homophobic or anything I just fully believe she dislikes glinda so so much she's just like this is absolutely NOT happening in my house.
glinda and elphaba are having their gay ass moment and she's like "I sense a disturbance in the force; the wind is telling me those fucking lesbians are at it again."
like IK this woman hates to see glinda's fruity ass coming for several reasons but first and foremost I believe it's because she's so fucking ANNOYED by how much elphaba loves and cares for her, like this pink bitch is throwing a wrench in her plans just by EXISTING and being herself.
and she can't even really do anything to glinda because it'll make elphaba upset and she really can't have that so she just has to sit there and be like
#wicked#wicked 2024#shitpost#my hand slipped oh no#madame morrible#glinda upland#elphaba thropp#gelphie#imagine being her for a second yk#like that scene just before the ballroom scene where elphaba comes to her#asks her to include glinda in their classes#and threatens to QUIT if she doesn't do it right that instant#and you're there like girl wtf???#i thought we hated her why are you up in her ass rn???#do you think she saw whatever sort of horrible homoerotic tension they had going on during loathing#and she was like yk what this is fine i can deal with this im sure this won't lead to anything#and cue elphaba banging on her door at 2am#i would've taken a bottle of aspirin and gone to bed like BYE#can't deal with these damn lesbians again#i just KNOW she was cursing glinda out#also again madame morrible's plan hinged on elphaba being so starved for love and approval she'd do whatever she and the wizard wanted#BUT WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN SHE GETS LOVE AND VALIDATION FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE#LIKE THIS WAS NOT ACCORDING TO PLAN#WHERE DID THE PINK LESBIAN COME FROM???
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feed your partner a salamander
#i have Very Many emotions in me right now and im coping by humour#arcane#arcane spoilers#and thinking about old viktor feeding jayce salamanders is somehow delightfully absurd in all this#“yeah#youre doing so fine crawling out of that hole keep going have a treat“#just for funsies tho ofc ofc#jayvik#jayce#viktor#viktor arcane#jayce x viktor#jayce arcane#arcane season 2#arcane memes
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thinkign about characters i like being sweet and tender with each other
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#specifically 8 and grace no one touch me im fine#edit: this blew up so just to clarify this isnt my image i just didnt expect this to explode . please do not think this is mine#unless you are looking at the newly added doctor who image which i DID put together
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ARTISTS FOR PALESTINE 🇵🇸 - On the 6th and 9th of March, I'll be doing art requests on stream with other notable artists to raise money for Operation Olive Branch and the PCRF.
I'm incredibly lucky to be counting quite a few big names in the roster, including known Jesus and Odysseus enthusiast @wolfythewitch, the extraordinary fanartist @denimcatfish, and the incredibly talented @troubledminnesotan, as well as Lilypichu from OfflineTV.
You'll be able to watch the streams on the day of the event either on my twitch channel here, or via the links provided by the artists below.
Lilypichu
Cuptoast
Akairosu_
Sevvanto
Wolfythewitch
#we're all gonna be doing an aggie.io board together and taking requests#sort of like drawfee's charity streams if any of y'all know them#its my first time organising a fundraising event like this and i hope it all goes well#the stream on the 6th is gonna double as a practise stream for me since i wanna check if everything will work fine#fingers crossed!!#im honestly so lucky that these people agreed to this so short notice as well...#i promised wolfy id read the odyssey and the epic of gilgamesh so y'all better donate#palestine#free palestine#free gaza#free west bank#donations#pcrf#operation olive branch#donations for palestine#fundraiser#lilypichu#cuptoast#crumb#offlinetv#shamelessly trying to get as many eyes to see this as possible
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you guys remember that one meme that goes "wow. these people are so weird. thank god im the only normal person here”? yeah the isat cast is like that but the reverse. in my opinion
#i hope this is comprehensible?#anyway. ive only drawn isabeau once before this#cus i was certain i couldnt draw him. as it turns out hes actually super fun to draw#this entire group is super draw-able im general#suuuupppperr mentally stable. all five of them#i was tempted to draw loop too but lets face it they dont look like theyre doing fine#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isat mirabelle#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat memes#drawinsometimez
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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i am here to publicly announce that i am not coping well with the concept trailer that just dropped and this specific part has got me begging on my knees SO BADLY
#the boyz#tbz#lee sangyeon#the loml right there ❤️#YALL I AM IN PAIN#IM NOT DOING FINE#I KNOW I JUST WROTE A SPY FIC FOR HIM ON HIS BIRTHDAY#BUT NOW IM TEMPETED TO WRITE ANOTHER ONE AKDBDJDNDNDNDN#JAYDEN LEE THE MAN YOU ARE
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beating artblocks ass with a more steampunk-y tango
#nics art#kinda wanna give my normal tango design his create mod prosthetic arm#now that i kind of know how i wanna draw it#tangotek#tangotek fanart#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#hermitcraft s10#hate that now that i've got time to draw ive been really struggling to#whaaaaaaaaat#anyway i gave it a rest for a few days hopefully ill get back into the swing of things (it is not often i stop drawing for multiple days)#(in fact its often a sign of me feeling like shit if i haven't drawn in more than 3 days)#(im fine though this was a conscious decision to do other shit to give myself a break. healthy . i think.)
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Yearning from the nothing dimension [rambling in tags ^^]
#i really couldn't make a version with a bunch of eyes that i was happy with on the bottom part#and then i realized thats fine and not everthing is going to look cool and awsome all the time. kinda emphasizes the space though.#anywho do you ever think about how lonely it must be in the tree or dark side of the moon. like all you can do is watch and wait#imagine falling in love with someone you can only see glimpses of#someone who you just found your mind wandering closer and closer to untill you realize just how happy they make you and how they make#the vast emptiness of a prison feel because your so far from someone whom doesn't even know you exist#Anyway!! had some thoughts about sm I'll probably draw more laterrrrr bc I just cant draw today ^“^#cookie run kingdom x reader#shadow milk x reader#shadow milk cookie x reader#i hope my rambling made sence to someone. im not very good at articulating myself
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