#im not a naturally nice or charismatic person

[dvasva]

I have a sincere question.

How will not voting for Biden help? Threatening not to hasn't worked to make him do anything to stop this monstrosity and I'm sure Trump will be (however slightly) worse.

I'm just wondering what you're proposing as a solution here? Are you just saying that it's selfish or something to care about how much worse things will get in the us while there's a genocide going on, or is there some alternative to voting for Biden that will actually help because I want to help whatever I can to stop the genocide.

/genuine

I'm gonna be genuine and honest when I say this; at this point, if you don't already dislike Biden and feel the same way I do, I doubt anything I will say will convince you one way or another, and I can tell your question is coming from this fearmongering rhetoric that was born during the 2020 election of 'Vote Blue no matter who', that I didn't agree with back then and I definitely don't agree with now.

I'm gonna level with you right up top, answer your question first, tell you what I think about all of this, even though it's not the most cheery thing. I don't think there's anything that will make things better. I think we are living in a rotting corpse that is like at most 6 months away from exploding from the built up pressure of gasses. I honestly don't know why you even asked me of all people. I can only really support community outreach, community building and mutual aid to mitigate the inevitable harm this whole clusterfuck, either way, will cause to the most vulnerable people, and can only urge you to do the same. We cannot have any political action until people start building community outside of online spaces. That is the biggest flaw of modern leftist political praxis, the lack of community. This is why the college protests are fantastic, because it is a small scale general strike amongst students, with people organizing and providing mutual aid to make organizing easy for the most amount of people possible. That's my solution. Mutual aid.

And, despite how I feel about questions like this, (especially considering aside from a few replies in various posts, and a generally active reblog and tag life about Palestine and Biden, I haven't made any original posts about this and I'm like... a rando with like less than 200 followers, so it's weird that you're coming to me with this question) I will treat this like a genuine question.

That being said, I did vote for Biden in 2020, despite my reservations. So, anything that happened during his presidency puts blood on my hands as much as anything.

I'll kind of start with saying that I am a hispanic, mexican, nonbinary person with a uterus and disabilities from Texas. My current governor is Greg Abbot and a lot of the most heinous conservative bills and debates regarding immigration, police, free speech, lgbt issues, abortion, etc, have taken place in my state where I live, and I am distantly related to Linda Coffee, one of the Roe v. Wade lawyers.

So, I'm not like. Some cishet white guy from Wisconsin who has never seen or witnessed oppression and who doesn't have any stake in any of this, and thinks the edgiest thing I can do is not participate in the system.

I come at this issue from multiple angles, and these are not like... the official political opinions of everyone who has ever agreed with me, this is just mine.

To start with, 1. I'm still voting in local and state elections, and 2. I don't believe in rewarding bad behavior. You said 'Threatening to not vote for him hasn't done anything to change his behavior' and so I'm going to carry through with my threat. Consequences and all that. Not that it really matters what I vote in presidential elections anyways. I live in Texas, a winner take all state. As we have seen multiple times, the popular vote is meaningless, and the only thing that matters is the electoral college. Texas is gerrymandered to all hell, and it's districts are drawn in a way that will always favor republicans. Until our corrupt ass state can finally manage, by some fluke, to vote in a non-republican who is actually willing to redistrict the state and prevent gerrymandering (which they wont do cause they're all chickenshit), all of Texan electoral college votes will go to the Republican candidate. I know we're not supposed to say our vote doesn't matter cause 'every little bit helps' but my vote literally does not matter in a real, tangible, way.

I know a lot of people are scared of having their rights stripped away, sure, but none of you have listened to POC, especially to POC living in southern states. All of this stuff that Trump is threatening? The more police, the border stuff, anti-trans bills, abortion? It's already happening in this country. I don't have abortion rights, I don't have freedom of speech on college campuses, I don't have a right to form a new union, I don't have trans rights, and if the police wanted to, they could pull over anyone in my family and arrest and deport them simply because of the color of their skin, regardless if they're actually an immigrant or not. Cop Cities are popping up around the world, the police is militarized and think it's ok to violently arrest peaceful protesters on college campuses. Meanwhile, the rich keep getting richer. Rafah was invaded last night, tanks placed on the border preventing anyone from leaving into Egypt anymore, and all the while the richest fuckers in this entire country, many of whom have voiced open and intense support for Israel, all met up with their tickets that cost 75k to take pictures in their pretty outfits and ignore the ongoing genocide.

All of this stuff is already happening regardless of who's in charge, and the only difference between Trump and Biden, to be honest? Northern Liberals will actually care about what's happening if Trump is in office. If Trump did everything that Biden did, there would be mass outrage about Palestine from every single Vote Blue No Matter Who person who's around. It's easy to blame the people whose rights have already disappeared for the threat that your rights might disappear as well. This Vote Blue No Matter Who thing is a cry for comfort. It is the people who are not feeling the effects of the crumbling empire we live in crying out, screaming 'Let me feel the comfort for a little bit longer, I don't want to be subjected to the things that others are already subjected to! I just want to be comfortable for a little bit longer!' And I honestly am not interested in voting for white northern comfort just because the other guy is threatening to take that away too.

And you are right. I do think it's selfish to try to focus on your own comfort while ignoring the active genocide of Palestinians, the ethnic cleansing being done with American Money, the thing that puts blood on every taxpayers hands, a true example of Taxation without Representation. Palestine is not the sacrificial lamb that we are entitled to trample over to ensure that we are comfortable. To think so is so monstrously dehumanizing, to say 'I can't focus on that cause I have to worry about me' while actively funding it. That's the biggest catching point for me. We have a responsibility to oppose Biden, to not vote for him and to actively call for him to step down and allow a different person to run, if not dismantling the system entirely, because this blood is on our hands.

Other people have said a lot more clever things about this than me, but Palestinian oppression is directly linked to all oppression around the world. Police in the US train with IOF soldiers, use the same methods on american citizens as IOF use on Palestinian citizens. This is not a case of 'two random countries that have nothing to do with us duke it out'. Israel is acting with the direct and explicit blessing of Joe Biden and the United States Government. He is, even for the standards of Democrats who like to say pretty words while bombing brown people, a warmonger. Like, violently so. Biden is legitimately more dangerous than anyone is giving him credit for, and is actively and openly funding blatant and obvious war crimes. That should honestly get him arrested and tried in an international criminal court.

Anyhow, that's all that from an American perspective. If you wanna really figure out what to do to help, seek out voices who actually know what they're talking about instead.

I recommend Imani Barbarin:

Also, check out my pinned post for ways you can provide a bit of support or learn more about the active ongoing genocide and ethnic cleansing of Palestine.

Especially check out Esims for Gaza. Aid has been inconsistent at best, but if you can't find anything else to do, send esims to help keep Palestine connected to the world.

[hopeastrz]

𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐎 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐓: 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄🤍🕯️.

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐡𝐞𝐡𝐞🤭

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐲 (𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧) 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐢𝐭!!

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟏,𝟏𝟑,𝟐𝟓) | 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: you’ll feel like they’re very masculine and maybe has some anger issues, also very confident and active, they may have a nice built or a nice head.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 | 𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟐,𝟏𝟒,𝟐𝟔) | 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: beautiful, you’ll think that they’re quite handsome and they’ll catch your attention with their voice or their smell!, also you may think that they are quite slow or lazy, even stubborn!.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 | 𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟑,𝟏𝟓,𝟐𝟕) | 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: they will seem quite youthful and Cunning to you, your first impression of them may turn to be the exact opposite of their true nature, also you’ll think that they’re quite intelligent!.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 | 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟒,𝟏𝟔,𝟐𝟖) | 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: nurturing aura, that’s so sweet but you actually may see them and be like “i wanna build a home with them!,” they may seem quite moody, sensitive or extra cautious.

𝐋𝐞𝐨 | 𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟓,𝟏𝟕,𝟐𝟗) | 𝐒𝐮𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: You’ll find them to be quite charismatic and confident on the outside, maybe even egoistic, they may be full of themselves and just so bright, you’ll find their hair attractive too!.

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 | 𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟔,𝟏𝟖) | 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: now now now, clean aesthetic vibes?, they’ll be quite neat and organized, seemingly having their shit together and quite healthy maybe even athletic!, they may seem to be a bit in their mind and nerdy.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 | 𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟕,𝟏𝟗) | 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: very very beautiful and harmonic, maybe you’ll feel like they’re quite fair and charming, also attractive!.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 | 𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟖,𝟐𝟎) | 𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: powerful, destructive and powerful against!, just kidding lmao, you’ll think they’re very mysterious and secretive, also sexy and maybe even rich!.

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 | 𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟗,𝟐𝟏) | 𝐉𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: Larger than life aura, their legs and thighs stand out, you’ll feel like they’re very wise or philosophical, and maybe even really funny!.

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 | 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟏𝟎,𝟐𝟐) | 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: one of my favorite placements!, you’ll feel like they’re quite mature and older than you, you may also fear them or feel like they’re a though nut to crack!

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 | 𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟏𝟏,𝟐𝟑) | 𝐔𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: you’ll find them weird af, no like fr fr im sorry😭, but let’s just say that they are quite unique!, like they don’t belong, you may actually also hate them first!, but they are very clever and have interesting personalities!.

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 | 𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 (𝟏𝟐,𝟐𝟒) | 𝐍𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: alluring, you’ll feel like they’re out of this world, and you’ll maybe also feel like you can’t pinpoint any characteristic of them, like there’s a veil that’s keeping their personality hidden from you!.

[miniaturecollectiveendermen]

hihi! hope you’re doing well :)

i was wondering if you could write headcannons for phoenix drop high Gene, Garroth & Blaze with a popular reader? like reader is well known in phoenix drop high, super energetic, kind and captain/leader of a big sports team/club? maybe just general headcannons (including how the two get together?)

tysm <33

A/N: i had a lot of fun writing this!! im sorry it took a while, i was sick when the request was sent and got sick again in the middle of writing im good now - for the most part at least

i hope you enjoy read this! :3

!! WARNINGS !! i feel like PDH!gene needs a warning of his own, gn!reader, you/your pronouns used

Gene: 

You were the volleyball club president, the cheery type who had a knack for making friends.

Gene is in no way fond of the popular types; so then why did you catch his attention? 

Why does his heartbeat pick up when he sees you smile, when he hears your laugh?

Gene is a selfish person, he takes what he wants - and in this case he wants you.

He considered trying to find something to blackmail you with, and get you to join the shadowknights.

But you always had people around you, and everyone knew what he was like, so there was no way they'd let him pull you away for a private conversation. 

But he found himself with the perfect opportunity one day after school. 

Your teammates had other obligations they needed to attend to; this left you to put away the equipment. 

He dismissed Sasha and Zenix (mainly Zenix as he had a tendency to speak without thinking). 

He approached you, and offered to help clean up. 

It was almost unnerving how nice he was being - you may have been a friendly person but you weren't stupid. you knew he was planning something.

You chose to be nice to him, but you kept your guard up. 

Time passes and you guys finish cleaning up, you say goodbye to Gene, and leave. 

Only after you leave does he realize he didn't even bring up you joining the shadow-knights. 

He just spent time with you, talking and hanging out like you were old friends. 

This is the first thing that made him question his plan.

PDH gene is by no means a good person - but even he has some morals. 

After this you would say hello to him in passing and make small talk - again acting like you two had been friends for years. 

You were just too sweet, and it chipped away at him. 

Eventually he completely forgot about forcing you to join the shadowknights. 

Although you weren't a shadowknight, you were friends. 

And not just with him, you were nice to Sasha and Zenix too. 

Sasha had gotten rather attached to you, and although Zenix would rather die than admit it - he quite liked having you around. 

Of course other people questioned why someone as sweet as you would be friends with them. Were you being forced?

you would always respond with “they're actually really nice” - Which no one believed of course.

But Gene quickly shut down all the questions, and no one really wanted to get on his bad side; so they stopped asking you about it.

Your relationship with Gene slowly changed, you two never acknowledged it.

but you both knew you weren't just “friends” anymore. 

Gene isn't the type to be explicitly romantic or loud with his affections - he's more subtle about it. 

He asked you out in a very casual way - you two were hanging out at his house. 

You were scrolling on your phone absentmindedly while he was playing a game, when he suddenly asked:

“Do you wanna go to the coffee shop this weekend?” “Sure!” “It's a date then.” 

No beating around the bush with this man. 

It's an interesting dynamic between you two - but he wouldn't have it any other way. 

Garroth: 

Garroth is a naturally charismatic and sociable person.

This, along with him being the baseball team captain, meant it was only natural for Garroth to be well acquainted with other sports captains. 

You were the track and field team captain. 

Much like Garroth you were charming and peppy, and had a tendency to naturally draw people to you. 

On the first day of the new school year, you were tending to the track and field club’s stand. 

Some other club leaders asked for your help; because of this a handful of nearby freshmen got the impression that you were helping with everything, and not just your own stand. 

You were happy to help, but you didn't anticipate being suddenly surrounded by a large group of over-excited freshmen who kept talking over each other.

You tried to help them all, but it was getting overwhelming.

As if he could hear your thoughts, Garroth redirected the freshmen to the mentors - he also offered to help out with the track and field stand. 

He wasn't very busy with the other members tending to the baseball stand.

You gladly accepted his help - although you and Garroth were friendly before this, you weren't very close.

After this day your friendship blossomed; the two of you would often spend free time together and even help each other with team captain responsibilities.

If either of you had a match, the other would be sure to come and cheer. 

With the two of you being as popular as you were, it was only inevitable for rumors to start about you two dating.

Garroth brushed it off and acted as though he wasn't affected by the silly rumors - but that wasn't really the case.

Truthfully he had been harboring feelings for you for some time, and these rumors gave him a chance to see how you'd react to the idea of you two dating. 

He did sometimes flirt with you, but played it off as a joke causing you to respond with joking flirtation of your own (was it really a joke tho). 

When you didn't seem opposed to the idea, his heart jumped out of his chest.

He took the first chance he got and asked you out. 

He's so cute guys I love him.

Blaze: 

You had been the tennis team captain for over a year - your popularity grew along with the tennis club as you led the team to win many matches.

had been receiving complaints by team members about a group of werewolves that kept stealing tennis balls in the middle of matches.

A few lost balls wouldn't be much of a problem, but they kept doing this until the players had none left.

You knew if you went to the werewolves responsible yourself the chances of them listening to you were little.

So you opted to go directly to the principal - so far she seemed a lot more competent than the previous principal, so you had hoped she'd be able to help you.

But these hopes were quickly diminished when she said she couldn't intervene as it was a “werewolf issue”.

You argued it was affecting the tennis club members who were human and meif'wa as well.

But she made some vague excuse about having a meeting and told you to talk to the werewolf studies teacher about it. 

After having any and all hope in the new principal destroyed, you went off to find the werewolf studies teacher.

When you explained the situation to him he informed you that this was the responsibility of the “alpha” and he couldn't do much.

By this point you were getting very frustrated - you had to run all over the school to find someone to help, only for them to tell you that they couldn't do anything. 

To your relief you were informed that the werewolf alpha was Aphmau (you decided to not ask why a human was the werewolf alpha). 

You weren't super close with Aphmau, but you met her once when you and Katelyn were playing tennis - you’d had some friendly interactions since and you had hoped that she wouldn't dismiss you like the last two people.

You managed to find her as she was talking to a red haired werewolf - you had seen him around a few times. His name was Blaze if you remembered correctly.

She was friendly as usual when you approached her, but you noticed she seemed more tired and even a bit frazzled.

You explained the situation to her and she was very understanding, but you could see that just thinking about handling this made her look even more tired.

That's when Blaze interrupted and said he was happy to help, as aphmau had to focus on choosing an alpha male - whatever that means.

You were ecstatic, after all that running around you finally found someone who could help.

Blaze was very sweet- and although he was a tad clueless when it came to certain things, he certainly had the spirit.

You helped Blaze find the responsible werewolves and at first he was explaining to them that they shouldn't steal things that don't belong to them. 

However after they were not very receptive to this, he took a more,, “hands on” approach.

You knew after going to this school for some time that werewolves would often solve conflict by fighting.

But you didn't expect blaze to throw the werewolves out the nearest window and then jump out after them??? 

You just wanted your team members to be able to practice in peace.. How did this happen-?

By the time that you reached downstairs where they were, the group of werewolves were standing in front of Blaze, looking down silently.

Blaze was grinning and looked very proud of himself - he seemed to be waiting for you to tell him he did a good job.

You didn't expect a 6’3 werewolf to be so.. Cute? 

You thanked him for his help and told him he was welcome to play with the tennis team whenever he pleased.

In the following weeks your friendship grew - he would join your practice in his free time. 

Although when he did it was mostly him chasing after the ball and forgetting he's supposed to hit it with the racket. 

As you grew closer, Blaze started noticing that his feelings towards you were changing. 

He always thought you were rather cute but he didnt think too deeply about it. 

But his desire to be around you grew.

subtlety isn't Blaze’s strong suit - the second he realizes he has a crush on someone, he starts following them around everywhere and his affection grows tenfold. 

He's a naturally affectionate person towards his loved ones, but you noticed that it's different with you. 

One day you decide to ask him about it and he just looks at you and just flat out confesses.

He was under the impression that he was being quite obvious. 

He's so <3333

I love him 

Immensely

[silliest-heartaches]

Ohh my god DRINKKK!! Dude I love them sooo muchhh. I just love imagining them being head over heels for each other yet constantly denying their feelings, because of how they view themselves, yet still finding comfort and solace with each other. They are so. YES. PERFECT. AUGH.

SHARE MORE ABOUT THEM PLEASE!!!

And I love how you use they/them for Ink and she/her for Dream!!

GOD YEAH I LIKE THEM SO INCREDIBLY MUCH... tbh the main reason i started liking them was bc i was thinking abt them and how doomed yuri coded they were and. The worms Wormed in from there,,,,

I actually use he/they and she/they for ink and dream respectively but!!!!!! I love all hcs and interpretations of them for REAL. nonbinary people who are gay as fuck for real,, very inherrently queer ship regardless of how u see either of them i think...heart seeing them as t4t transmasc and transfem forever personally though so thats what i see em as hehe,, also in my head theyre both aroacespec (though the specifc kind varies from au to au though i do consistently see ink as ace and dream as demiaro :>>)

Im not sure how long these will be so...hcs under the cut lol

- okay well while in my mind while error is technically the First Entity ink sees that isnt just a normal entity, dream is like their First. Friend. you know. Like when error first saw him he was screaming and crying for the hills bc it was also his first time seeing another outcode so. that reaction BUT with dream she was more filled with gentle confusion... this is a bit after she unstoned in the apple incident but still was new to au hopping and naive to most danger so they became friends!!! Questionably so.

-to elaborate, when they first meet dream is still stuck on the ideals of toxic positivity and pushing through hardship no matter what... i think this is something they eventually grow out of and dream will eventually learn to see the need for balance eventually but one of their first disputes happens when ink is running low on ink and most of whats left are the Negative Emotions within him alongside the especially strong panic that he usually feels when they get like this... dream would try to comfort him and try to say that itll work out in the end no matter what and that they just need to push through and that itll be okay like normal comforting words because dream is an empath and can sense feelings right,,i feel like its comforting in some cases but when things get Really Bad and especially when the main reserves of feelings that ink has are Negative, they heavily override his normal sense of self and i imagine they get a lot more. Snappy.... theres also the additional hc thingy of ink also really overexaggerating his feelings and overplaying them a lot for the sake of trying to feel more intensely (doesnt work, just drains him faster and will never truly feel natural to him...personally think that ink feels a lot of disconnect from his feelings) which could be considerably offputting to dream (though before adding swap to the group she thought it wass normal because she had only seen the fake pretend nice joy of the village influenced by her aura and not Genuine Feelings)

I think eventually through the years they would learn a lot from eachother...like with ink learning to be more naturally charismatic and dream learning to see past toxic positivity and have his perception on emotions change for the better (ie in learning that having different emotions are okay, so long as there is a balance)

id do alot more hcs but tbh what it boils down to is: toxic codependent yuri. intensely up and down relationship where theres an insane amount of love and attachment but also a lack of self from the both of them because they are only able to see themselves as a Thing to the other. Also exes who turned out to be besties. Thry got together and broke up wayyy before blue (they casually tell him stories about it and for the parts that he does know about he is horrified for.) Oh and they share hobbies and do parallel play alot. dream is more music oriented and can play the cello and flute. ink can play the ukelele but hes more familiar with drawing and painting duh. Also they have a garden. they love growing flowers but their favourites are sunflowers. Also have writing sessions together. Also may/may not also have beautiful princess disorder. (The both of them)

im so sorry this is so incoherrent but erm. yeah im very normal abt them (half of this stuff comes from oc projection the other half is like. Mental illness while in the shower tbh)

[uyuforu]

Hello!

I saw your post about the Vertex Persona Chart and it was really detailed. I'd like to ask how you think one should start with reading their North Node persona chart?

North Node PC is supposed to tell you about your North Node and so your purpose, your life mission in depth! It's also a way for you to see how you can be your best self ^^So, in order for you to understand, and as I did with the Vertex PC, I'll study my North Node PC so you can apply it the same way with yours :)

North Node Persona Chart Analysis

This is Uyu's North Node PC, I added asteroids for more examples.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ My sun is in Leo 2H 12°, making my soul mission to be making money through my passion, through my career. My NN in NC exactly conjunct my Part of Fortune, and it's in Leo 10H 12°. This placement originally means I am meant to be successful and famous in my career field, and the degree (Pisces) with spirituality, astrology, esotericism, etc. The Sun in NN PC has the same degree and sign, but it's in 2H. So it's the same meaning but making money with it. Finding a stable life because of my passion, and shining in it.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ My Moon is Libra 5H 19° (libra), which makes me have better opportunities to become my best self when I make sure to stay harmonious with my emotions. Making my fun, humor, charismatic self are the best for me. I'll attract good things, luck if I show those side of me. Also being nice, open-minded, non judgmental will do me best. I should not be afraid to be under the light or being the fun person, it will also do me good to be fun and laugh. Smiling is also a good thing.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ My rising is in Cancer 7°, and the rising in a north node is how can I become my best person, being in that sign and degree means that I need to step more into my feminine side, be more feminine or appear more feminine. I need also to be more charismatic, step into that part of me more, and also nurturing. It means also that appearing feminine, cute will help me more. My soft side, soft girly make up will make me attract more luck for example than a dark feminine.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ My Mercury is in Cancer 1H 28° (Cancer), so for the best communication in order to reach my destiny, I should not hesitate to speak as I usually do (it conjuncts my natal mercury) but because it's in 1H, I should find myself appear more feminine in my voice. I always sound young when I speak, and this is actually a good thing apparently because it will bring me a lot. No I will not speak like a child, or with a baby high pitched voice >:(

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Venus in NN PC is about how will I find love, best way to find love. My Venus is in 3H Leo 27° (Gemini). I'll find love on social medias and dating app (and it always happened this way), I'm very lucky when it comes to relationship (Leo brings success, luck and fame). It also makes me date people who speak a different language than me. My FS and I met on social medias and then met in a foreign country.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ My Mars is in Leo 2H 2° (Taurus), and Mars here represents where I find motivation. I'll find motivation in being the best at what I do, at shining, and being myself (conjunct natal sun). In the 2H and 2°, it means finding motivation when it comes to my stability, what makes me feel at home. For example, I could really find motivation into making more money if it comes to buy more stuff and furniture for my home. Or buying make up, food, a home, etc. Anything related to stability, home and life's greatest pleasures. And yes, food is a reward for me lol.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ My Jupiter is in Gemini 12H 6° (Virgo), making me very lucky naturally as it expresses good karma in the 12H. In gemini, im lucky and get the right informations, it can mean lucky in my communication lucky learning stuff quickly, being good at languages, being good with social medias, being lucky at spirituality, being lucky with my work skills, routine, health, etc. I'm lucky if I talk about stuff that is bothering me. And it is true that I find myself lucky when I speak about my problems instead of just overthinking it in a corner... lol.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Saturn here represents the obstacles I have to overcome in order to reach my destiny. Here it is in Taurus 11H 29° (Leo), fame over social medias could make me feel unstable, it could be that I have hard time finding a balance if I ever get fame and success over social media,or even among people. I'll feel very unstable, stressed, and maybe feel like a life where no one knows me is easier but it's not part of my destiny. I'll have to face that.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Uranus in NN PC represents the originality, and where I have to show it in order to reach my goals. In my NN it is in Aquarius 9H 19° (Libra). So I could present myself, do my make up, or my appearance could be different from the beauty standard that you usually see online, and because Im different, I could be making new trends about it online. It could go worldwide. I guess this could mean that lol... I could def look unique to people, and it's my strength.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Pluto is what will change in my life when I reach my destiny. It is in Sagittarius 6H 10° (Capricorn), so I could totally live abroad after I reached my destiny, or often travel around the world. I could also become more spiritual, or more optimistic. I could also become more lucky. Because it is in 6H, I could live a more happy routine, a more spontaneous routine, I could exercise more often too and be happy about it. That is also like me working abroad, having more opportunities abroad.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Part of Fortune is also luck, and because it's in Taurus 11H 1° (Aries), I could find luck online because of my appearance, face, fashion style. People could think I look pretty (taurus is harmonious beauty).

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Juno is in Aquarius 9H 21° (Sagittarius), saying my FS is destined to be a foreigner, someone I can meet on a trip, and Sagittarius or Aquarius could be prominent in his NC. We could also meet online, and social medias could also play a part in our relationship. Because it conjuncts my Uranus, our relationship is something that would also make me stand out.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Groom is in Scorpio 5H 2° (Taurus), making my FS Scorpio, Leo and Taurus prominent in his NC. I'm destined to marry someone who can look very cold, or shy, or is shy or cold. This person could be popular among girls, or just popular, could be famous, or I could see them as a player, someone who wants have fun in relationships. I could find them intense, and there could be a lot of attraction between us. Groom conjunct Vertex, making our meeting a major point in my life, my life will never be the same after we meet. Because it also conjuncts Fama asteroid, there are big chances he will find fame one day, and it could also mean our relationship could be part of our fame. It also conjuncts asteroid Glo, and we could have a lot of fame and attention because of our relationship.

-> By the way, in my Composite chart between me and my FS, we are Leo rising, Aquarius DSC, our Juno is in Scorpio in 4H, we have our Sun and stellium in Taurus, and our Venus and Mars are in Sagittarius 5H, lol and all of these placements are here in NN PC with Juno and Groom asteroids!

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Briede is in Taurus 11H 0°, making me appear as a stable wife, this could be my reputation online or even among the masses. People can see me as someone who is stable, harmonious, presentable. It conjuncts POF, so people could also see me as a lucky person in my marriage.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Boda is in Cancer 1H 18° (Virgo), my marriage could look very good, looking very family like, and the marriage could look a way I always wanted like. It could be in my country, and the feminine energy is def here! Very clean and well organized! Minimalist style could be a thing. Because it conjuncts two fame asteroid and Mercury, people will talk a a lot about my marriage, it could become popular.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ IC represents how we want to be seen my loved one. Because my IC is in Virgo 13° (Aries), I want to be seen as more serious as I appear to be, I want people also to respect me, and I want them to see me more mature. I also want some to fear me? lol

₊˚⊹ ᰔ DSC represents the connections that will help me reach my soul missions. My DSC is in Capricorn 7° (Libra), so Capricorn and Libra placements could help me a lot. Bosses, co-workers, lovers could help me a lot.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ MC is how the world is destined to see me. My MC is in Pisces 13°, so major of people who don't know me are supposed to see me as someone who is sensitive, artistic, emotional, romantic, also a spiritual person. Because of the degree, it makes me appear as someone who you shouldn't fuck with. Someone straightforward, just like right now. Lol.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ MC Ruler is Neptune, and Jupiter traditionally. The ruler of the MC tells us what I really want for my career. Because of Jupiter is in 12H, I could def want t path more spiritual, more esotericism for my career, and because it's in gemini, I could want to work with social medias, or online. Because of Neptune (Aquarius 8H 4° (cancer)), I could want to have my own business, work online, and work from home).

₊˚⊹ ᰔ My ASC Ruler is my Moon in Libra 5H 19°, and the ASC Ruler is about more insight about becoming my best self. So here it's being again feminine, looking good, being charismatic, nice, friendly, harmonious. Also making my fun personality stand out more.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ Alma is an asteroid that represents destined lover, soulmate, Twin Falme. Here it is in Aries 11H 27° (Gemini). I did meet my TF online, and we talked there. And he has Aries Moon, and we had love at first sight for each other when we met.

Some good links for help:

╰┈➤ ✦ ; ✦

Hope it helped!

- uyu

[nimbusghoul]

The Nice Soap-Viktor x Bimbo!Reader

Pairing:Viktor x Reader

Type: Fluff TO smut for the entirety

Fandom:Arcane/LoL(more Arcane Vik than LoL Vik, let me have my twink, okay?)

WC:1337 This is just a sneak peek, if you want more, I'll continue to provide, Don't hate me!

Viktor was never one to catch feelings easily, but when you came into his life from being a good friend of Jayce, he began to feel something new.

When Jayce introduced you to him, he didn’t know how to react to your bubbly air headed nature, it was new. Sure, Jayce is charismatic, but he didn’t shine as bright as you did, you could light up the whole room with a personality like that.

Maybe you weren’t the smartest, but you were an amazing listener, and things didn’t seem to get to you very often. Usually just in one ear and out the other, but when you were interested, your body language changed, anyone could tell you were paying attention, even if you usually didn’t fully understand.

You’d turn yourself towards him and lean in again or prop your elbows on the table and put your chin in your hands, kicking your feet a bit, and it was when you would ask most of the questions.

“What’s that?”

“What, a Hex Core?”

“Mhm! I dunno what that is, Sorry.”

“No need to apologize, I understand not everyone has the same knowledge. Ehh, a Hex Core is an adaptive rune matrix with Hextech in the middle…the potential for ultimate advancements in technology!”

“ohhh!… what?? I dunno what that stuff is either, i mean, i know what runes are but…what’s…all the other stuff??”

Viktor took a minute, how would he explain this without making you feel like you had less and less knowledge? He would never want to hurt your feelings, you were too pretty to be sad.

“Hextech uses magic to create artifacts, it’s made up of a special crystal. It can do all kinds of things, not just for me and the hexcore is full of hextech, which means it has all kinds of that magic.”

“Sounds like a lot of math, which i’m not good at. I think I’ll stick to less complex things and let you handle all of that genius people stuff”

You were really the only person who could distract him from his work. He had completely forgotten about the papers in front of him, his focus was on you, even if the papers were the thing you asked about. He realized he doesn’t ever really ask any questions that he had for you

“May I ask you an…odd question?”

“hm, of course! just make sure it’s not too complicated of a question? really big words get me all confused…”

“Of course of course. Those nails of yours, are they real? like, your actual nail? they’re quite long.”

“What? god no, these are made with powder polymethylmethacrylate and a monomer liquid!”

You turned over you hand and tapped on the underside of your nails, Viktor was a little shocked from that long word you managed to string out describing the acrylic powder

“So…they are plastic?”

“Nope! You gotta put the liquid with a bit of the monomer and then put it on top of a guide, sometimes plastic? but I like to use my silicone one because it peels better, and thennn you put the whole thing under UV light for it to harden and they’re so much better than fake plastic nails! fake nails that are plastic feel so icky and come off WAYYY too easy. plus nail glue can fuck up your skin soooo bad!”

“ah, i see, so you know a lot about this topic?”

“Of course! if i’m gonna look pretty I have to be healthy and to be healthy i have to know what Im doing to my body! That’s why I like hate cOsMeTiC sUrGuRiEs cause like everyone is beautiful in their own way and the fact that people think they have to pay to be beautiful is really disgusting! everyone was made to grow differently, just because you don’t look like your neighbor or your pretty classmate doesn’t mean you aren’t pretty or attractive or perfect! But like Botox for headaches is fine, it helps with migraines!”

“I see you feel very strongly about these things, Is there a reason why? Perhaps a connection to memories in which it makes you upset about this topic?”

“Well…I just want everyone to be happy, you know? and if you hate yourself because you don’t look like everyone else…that’s not happy. The only thing that’s truly ugly or unattractive is the way we treat some people, and the awful things we say and do. Ugly doesn’t exist *on* people, it exists *in* people.”

You turned to Viktor after finishing a sentence, a small smile, the first real one you’ve seen, but you decided not to say anything, having an internal celebration instead of external. Celebratory of small victories(or should i say Viktories, okay yeah i’ll see myself out sorry), it was rare to see Viktor smile from what Jayce has told you.

“You are very different from me, and yet i enjoy the company you provide, it’s quite odd, with how different our knowledge is you’d think I would be annoyed with all your questions, but you also have knowledge I don’t. I do not look into what I wear or the lotions, soaps and sanitizers I put on my hands-”

You were quick to accidentally cut him off, suddenly remembering why you came to the lab in the first place, even when it slipped out on the way from your home to the lab.

“OHMYGOODNESS!! I tOTALLY forgot about that! Sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off, but I wanted to say I got you some new soap because i was reading the ingredients and yours contained formaldehyde!! that’s probably why your hands are always so dry, that is so bad for your skin! I also got you some lotion because they’re so dry from that awful soap…”

You quickly dug through your purse, pulling out a large bottle of moisturizing hand soap and some hand lotion with aloe, quickly placing them on the desk

“I literally went to the market at like 8 this morning because I knew that’s when they first set up so like they weren’t all gone when I got there!”

“You did this for me?”

“pshhh, yeah! and i got my pet some more of those cute special treats, they only get sold like twice during the week and they’re all gone in like an hour. it’s so terrible if I can’t get my sleepy butt up in time to get some!”

“Are they truly that important?”

“Well, my pets are like…my family! they’re like my little babies and I would literally assault whoever the hell runs this universe for my babies?”

“I apologize, I was speaking about the soap.”

“Oh, oops! Yeah, I wanted to get you something nice, plus, all the really nice ones sell out so fast! Especially like when this huuuuge group of wives come through and buy like literally everything nice.”

"Group of...wives?"

"Yeah, like, you know, middle aged women who don't need so much damn soap?"

"Ah..."

he seemed to take a pause to think

"Why...for me? Why not for Jayce?" He asked, looking up at you

"What? Your hands are dry, Jayce doesn't have...all that as an issue...you know?"

He seemed surprised as he thought before laughing quietly

"How are you so sure what my hands feel like? I'm sure Jayce is very touchy...but you know, I am not."

You felt your face heat quickly

"Well, I- they sound dry! You know, when you rub your hands together and it sounds...dry, like you can't hear my hands unless I rub them together really hard!"

He chuckled softly at your embarrassment before standing

"I find it cute that you care. Thank you, Солнышко(sólnyshka)"

-CUTOFF FOR PREVIEW-

[youremyheaven]

Omg I saw your moon dominance post and I have to share something 😭

I have a friend whom I went to the same school as, we still talk sometimes but not as much.

She has always been quite a charismatic person, and is a relatively small built, conventionally attractive blonde white girl. Needless to say she is considered quite “soft and feminine” - I only mention race because racism would naturally prevent her being perceived that way.

I like her, she’s very diplomatic and intelligent but MY GOD the manipulative tendencies she had growing up😭😭😭

It’s been a couple years since I was regularly in close proximity to her so I can’t remember that many examples of her lying (also because it was a such a common occurance), however I remember it getting to the point where she herself would awkwardly joke about it.

What I *do* however remember quite distinctly the way she’d occasionally have these “tantrums” after I gave her any mild criticism.

For example, one time we were all having lunch together as a group and she made a mean spirited comment on someone else who was nearby. I pointed out that is was a pretty mean thing to say, not in a particularly accusatory tone, and she quite literally started shouting at me saying “WELL THATS QUITE BIG OF YOU TO SAY BC YOU TOLD ME [insert minor joke about manipulative Snapchat fboys that therefore was nothing to do with her] AND IT REALLY UPSET ME [insert sob story about having a disabled brother] etc etc”

She also had a similar public outrage at me after I asked her if she brought her present in for the Secret Santa, and she responded by kicking me in the shins and going on a tangent about how her life is really stressful and how I only worry about “school and sleep” 💀

However the interesting part that I vaguely covered at the beginning is that she had mastered the whole sweet innocent teenage facade. She had people, primarily older men in authority, entirely wrapped around her finger. She developed this oddly close relationship relationship with one of our teachers, which never got inappropriate, but he would direct like 80% of his energy to helping her over other students (who were equally if not more needing of help). Similarly her therapist literally UNRETIRED to help her personally 😭 I can think of so many examples of authority figures literally bending over backwards to be of service to her.

(She also attracted a kind of unreal level of male attention that was way above the average)

To finally conclude:

She is a hasta sun, moon and ketu with PBP ascendant. Her birthtime isn’t exact but I feel as though PBP is more likely than UBP.

There was also an incident of her sleeping with a teacher in his 20s when she was 17 😬 obviously it’s on him, but it’s interesting to consider that she has Jupiter in the 9H in Chitra (mars) - aswell as a mercury chitra which sits in her 4 planet 8H stellium.

Sorry for this extremely lengthy ask😭 it’s more of an info dump than an ask but I hope it served as an interesting example of moon dominance (+ a little bit of mars influence) in women

bestie never apologise for spilling tea 😂i love reading what ya'll have to say, otherwise i feel like im talking to a wall. and i feel you about this moon bestie of yours, im glad you're out of that toxic friendship!!

a few years ago i had a toxic moon dominant bestie who like you said lied so much and manipulated things so much, its hard for me to even make a list of the shit she did lol, yk how a lot of poc parents will whip their kids or yell at them or something and afterwards act extra nice bc they feel guilty?? I've noticed that Moon dominant people are like that to some extent. my "friend" would say the nastiest most vile derogatory things about me TO ME and then when i responded with radio silence she'd be all 🥺🥺im so worried about you, have you eaten? have you done all the assignments?? here's mine, you can refer to it🥺🥺,, like i was always sooo confused by her but then i started seeing thru her bullshit, how she's only being nice cause she feels guilty lol,, she had a tendency to criticize other people A LOT like your friend and honestly its tiring to listen to that shit, so i think i started saying nice things in return like "oh but xyz is so sweet, she's always so thoughtful" and then she'd say some shit "its so crazy you'd say that because i felt like xyz and abc always hated you" like classic manipulation lmao, like she hates those ppl and if i say one nice thing about them, then she'll try to convince me that those people hate me so that i can be on her side in bitching about them lmfao.

Moon dominant people are soooo insecure its sad,, they feel the need to be so rude and nasty af to others to mask their own insecurities. Obviously I'm only talking about unhealthy Moon influence, im sure there are nice ppl out there as well.

u guys pls feel free to dump any gossip/tea u have in my inbox, i love reading this stuff!!

[asherlockstudy]

Hey! Im a recent anon and I wanted to react to what youve been discussing with the anon who agrees with you. Personally, Ive had phases about what I believe about Rhett and Link and the nature of their relationship. I have found the idea of these two attractive, weird, charismatic, creative men being into each other quite appealing, but I dont think Ive ever truly believed it without the help of fan speculation and overinterpretation of giffed moments. Especially after the reveal about their religious background… Without the fan content to feed the nice fantasy, I go back to the presented reality of their unique, brotherly friendship. You believe something that is extreme, even within a tumblr fandom that fixates on the idea of them as a couple. You do you, I dont even have to tell you that! What I find frustrating, just for me, is that I can’t easily refute your view. But I really do believe, without much doubt, that theres nothing between them, like they’ve repeatedly said, and, moreover, that theyre just not physically attracted to each other, despite the moments that may be interpreted as flirting (or… as mind-in-the-gutter banter, you know!). The one thing that I could concede is that, if there is any kind of sexual tension between them, it’s mostly subconscious or repressed, and they don’t want to explore that and only feel comfortable with their current, deep, but platonic friendship. I think that your interpretations, the ‘signs’ you notice in their videos, while beautifully packed with meaning, are not necessarily there. But once again, I can’t really prove it to you, and I find that frustrating. It’s about what feels like a plausible conclusion, an ‘inference to the best explanation’ as philosophers would say. My current opinion is a conventional one, but certainly not within the tumblr fandom, which is full of people that seem to at least believe that there’s something there even if not acted upon. I just think that their interactions could be what they say they are: two lifelong straight male friends connecting, having fun, learning about each other and the world, performing for an audience, often winding each other up, showing us their strange humor, their fascination with awkwardness and love of silly innuendos. And here we are, chronically misinterpreting it to maintain our delightful fantasy, a fantasy shared by many other fandoms built around two apparently straight men that have good chemistry, by the way. This is what I think is happening, and Im not going to judge, because as I said, the fantasy is really nice. As for the overarching themes and methaphors you have identified in their scripted content… I think alternative interpretations are definitely possible. The digging a hole video, for example, might be about collaborative endeavors in general, about the dramatic structure that is still exciting without normal dramatic content, about the joy of absurdist concepts and doing things just to do them, together… not the specific situation you imagined about them wanting to come out of the closet eventually, and navigating their relationship. I have to say, I was impressed and entertained by your interpretation of their puzzle video. I also think that there’s a lot of basic ‘if our characters did this somewhat suggestive or odd thing this would be funny’ reasons behind their scripted content… and not necessarily the cohesive story about viagra that you believe has happened to them. I think that sadly, they might be more boring or random than what you give them credit for, as far as cleverly hidden messages go. But yeah, I dont know how we could definitely know who’s right about this... If they never come out as you suspect they are planning to, if they stand by their no-homo claims, would you give up on your theory, or do you think there’s a chance that, in your worldview, they might never ‘fully come clean’, rendering both our theories basically impossible to prove or disprove? What do you expect from the TV show they’re going to release, for example (sorry if you already shared that before)?

Hello, thank you for analysing your different perspective in a polite way. I have been having a lot in my mind these days and I delayed answering. I was about to explain why I support some things regarding the videos and the puzzle video but somehow in this crazy world I didn’t answer before the brolinoscopy episode and I feel like R&L answered for me before me in this video!

After 9 years, Rhett brought up the reference by saying “you can even find missing puzzle pieces inside rectums”. It’s not even the first time they suddenly bring up the puzzle video after a silence nearly a decade long. Link as Sandy had a small puzzle tattoo in the Brown Diamond too. But today’s insinuation was so much more straightforward. As you understand, after this development, I am once more convinced I cannot find a more suitable explanation than the one I had in the puzzle post (the viagra thing might be a stretch or made up story by them but I stand by all the main and crucial points I made there). And that reference is generally nothing compared to all the things Rhett (also Link) said (supposedly I guess, but wild if true) incoherently in the brolinoscopy.

However, I do not intend to make an analysis here, neither do I plan to try to convince you, I am kinda over that in general and I don’t want to push something down the throats of people who find it unlikely or uncomfortable. I have figured out some people consider me extreme and… it doesn’t resonate well with me. If I am proven correct, will I have been extreme then all this time? Of course I will definitely keep doing my own thing in my original posts but I don’t want to try to change anyone’s mind anymore. Therefore I am curious - you said it is frustrating that you can’t refute me. Is this about me (I don’t think I matter, I am just an anonymous randomer blabbing potential nonsense) or is it about the possibility of Rhett and Link truly being more than friends? Or is it just because you are so convinced you are right that it would be frustrating to be proven wrong? I would understand that last sentiment (I am often the same way), less so if it’s a case of any of the former two scenarios though.

The only thing I want to stress again is that for me all my ships have started as an observation and then some became a pleasant fantasy. I have never liked a ship because I liked the idea of it first and then tried to force it into my reasoning and conclusions. It has always been the opposite with me - I see cues I consider very clearly there and then I decide whether I like that ship or not. Which is why I never liked fanon ships. Save for the Sherlock fiasco, I have a record of 100% canon ships and 0% fanon or slash. In fact, I almost have a personal aversion to them, idk why. As for Sherlock, the entire fanbase was essentially proven wrong and it wasn’t that we were all wrong but that apparently something happened and bombed this show and they wrapped up one season earlier than intended with enstranged actors . Still, many many fans were sure there was no case the show could end like it did and waited for another season. Not me. I realised the plot and show was bombed for good and I was done with it very quickly. I was proven right. I am saying all this only to explain that this “aw it’s a nice fantasy I am having so now I am misinterpreting gifs” is not representing me accurately. I was perfectly happy with Rhett and Link as platonic friends and I would be very happy with this image in my mind forever. I value deep friendship and, you know, being loyal to your spouse extremely. It’s just that it’s been quite a few years this is not the image I am getting from them at all. Of course I could be wrong but even if I am, it’s not because I try to make my fantasies reality out of nowhere.

I agree many people misinterpret gifs. There are gifs and gifs though. And some leave very little room for misinterpretation.

Regarding your question, I do doubt from time to time that they will get on with it. But then shit like today’s happens. There is always the chance that they will get scared for good before the end. But since November-December, I think something has shifted inside Rhett and he has made his decisions. But who knows. I definitely think there is a possibility they never come out, not even in the show they prepare, and keep hiding forever but I consider it a very very very small possibility. I could also eventually give up on my theory but for this to happen, there’s a shitload of undoing they would have to do first!

[qwesty-030]

BRINKER HADLEY DESIGN

agagagagag

okay time to introduce my Brinker Hadley design now 😃

I drew this probably 6 months ago if I remember correctly. The sketches are messy and the picture quality is so bad but yk if it gets the idea then it’s good enough lol

read more below to see my thought process >:)

My thought process :p

pre-plan:

Before i design characters, I like to write down whatever features they have. And i also like to consider how his personality traits and other activities affect the way he dresses which im sure everyone does when they design a character lol.

The main points i wanted to get a across is that he tries to act very mature and has a professional manner. He’s charismatic, very upfront, and he always got a plan.

He’s well dressed, a leader, very buisness or man type vibes, probably looks up to notable politicians, very involved in school, could honestly be in student council. And he’s the embodiment of law and order 🗣️🗣️

he could honestly be the embodiment of winter, cold and invasive.

dresswear:

compared to Gene and Finny, Brinker is a lot more well dressed.

He makes sure not a single dust is on his suit. (he probably has a dust roller somewhere). Everything is always in place and organized

I made his hair very slicked back cuz he wanna looks professional. And like Gene and Finny, his hair is inspired by actual hairstyles from the 1940s :)

And ofc I also gave him Devon’s signature uniform.

Physique:

to line up with Gene’s description, i made his eyes brows like straight lines. and also THICK

very pointy nose cuz he’s so dang nosy 🙄

it’s not visible but I tried to give him a strong jawline and defined cheekbones. i guess just reiterate his masculine features

i do not have a full body drawn so u can’t see his dumpy 😔

also i noticed how bored Gene sounds whenever he describes others. Is not in the same admirable way where he describes her intricate detail of Finny’s physique. He describes Finny like “oh my gosh his body shines so spectacularly in the light that you can see the outline of every muscle and facial features smile. his short brown hair shines with gold and his eyes are burn like green fire.” and there’s Brinker and Gene is just like “his face consists of straight lines 😐”

Rough Drafts:

Below are a few rough drafts I made playing with different color schemes and all that.

I was gonna give him glasses but it just wasn’t working out so I ditched them completely

I was ALSO gonna give him jet black hair but no one really has natural jet black hair. it didn’t fit well with the navy blue Devon uniform 🤷‍♀️ so I ditched the black hair too

i tried my darnest to make sure he does not look like Gene or Finny. I lowkey suffer from same-face syndrome and yeah 💀 I am quite proud of my Brinker design B) and I should try drawing him more

Honestly I think I’ve only drew Brinker like 3 or 4 times and that’s about it 💀

that’s all

have a nice day everyone

[starredforlife]

Jeez, do really so many people say they find you intimidating? Granted, I don't know you irl, and even here through Tumblr I'm just one person who follows you and that's it, but still, to me you always seemed nice? Enthusiastic. Goofy, even. I like your style, it IS masc and #cool, but like... I don't feel like that makes you intimidating. "Nomás sos canchera", to put it in Argentine terms.

Btw I'm just sending this due to your tags on that poll 'cause Ik you have mentioned that before andbI felt like the outsider who doesn't find you mean and intimidating, don't pay that much attention to me 😅

Idk it’s like conversations I’ve had with a couple people recently and it absolutely isn’t all based on appearance BUT that’s part of it that’s been told to me. Not suggested but cited. So!!

However I would say it’s more personality. Ofc on here I’m more fun n goofy bc it’s Star’s Mind Palace. I repost pictures and draw werewolf art and I’m vain and silly in the tags. It’s relatively earnest. When I meet people I’m not like, guarded in a mean dog way, but I put up a front. Most of how I talk comes out as a mask of metered and Sharp jackassery, with a confusing blend of genuine interest in people. I’ll talk to you like I need you to prove yourself to me. But also I want to make sure you feel included. This, I’m learning, terrifies people. Mostly I learned this when I was young bc I had to prove my intelligence constantly, so I emulated that intense scrutiny in conversation, I think, and I work in a v male dominated industry that absolutely hates the gentle approach to conversation (for the record, I do not hate it and respect it immensely. It’s also just not how I naturally work unless I’m in a more vulnerable setting).

It can be summed up by the fact that I shake girl’s hands when I meet them in gay bars. Apparently. That is not. The expected thing to do.

Idk I had a whole paragraph after this but it disappeared. I was saying smthn abt how I was. Working on it. Essentially. I Don’t Care how people perceive me bc I trust my perception first. I’ve always designated it as the other person’s problem if they dislike me. I’m learning how people perceive you matters for specific things. Especially friendships. This is very hard for me to grapple with bc I don’t like when others tell me what to do or how to be, At All.

It’s all in moderation ykwim. I’m not going to give up my confidence or my standards but I will work on trying to not make people feel like they’re cornered into a social pass or fail exam when they first meet me. I am intense and I can’t stand bullshit and sometimes I’m genuinely belittling or judgmental if I’ve decided I don’t like you off the bat (if you have failed the Vic Standards, which are always under deconstruction) and the latter is, in some parts, fun if the other person is a proven asshole. But it’s not really healthy. And I can’t start conversations with earnest intentions that way. So I have to grow. I have to let it matter a little bit.

Sorry, you got like. A Vic psychology breakdown. I’m also intimidating bc I’m great at lying, I speak very professionally, and I respect myself enough to make others feel like they have to do the same. I’m not scared easily and I like making arrogant men feel one step behind me. I maxed out on whatever deck makes you both charismatic and completely unapproachable. You’ll probably never meet me irl but I do think it’s v interesting how im perceived on here and so I appreciate the insight and the question!!

[wawek]

Could you write something about your dnd character/s? Love hearing about other people's ocs!

hehe i finally have a moment to answer >:3c this is gonna be long so im gonna get a read more involved

my only character thats actually from dnd (my online group plays other ttrpgs) and "active" (we played two sessions 3 months ago ;w; but! might play again) Is Yeshe :3

Its a mdzs inspired campaign... im pretty sure, i havent watched it... so i based her off of tibetan folk clothes and ofc off of a pallas cat. She hadnt had time to shine as a character yet and her backstory and motivations are bit murky =w= but the gist is that she takes care of her magically gifted little sibling (another player character, my sketch attached), they were raised in a remote commune and are now going to the big city.

Now, the character from a finished campaign of City Of Mist (really cool system!!!) thats been on my mind a lot recently is my beloved Theooooooo

He was originally an oc completely detached from any specific setting, then I put him with my beloved Rochelle (in the blue dress, she started out as a dnd character but got only like 2 sessions back in 2020 :'3) in my own version of feywild (ill get to it later).

And then!!! I decided to play him in that CoM game and it was the best decision everrrrrrrrrr he was so so so so sos ososoosososos fun :3. CoM is urban fantasy where people become "rifts" for mythical beings and are able to use their power.

Theo was a Detective and a Fey and i really enjoyed playing an absolutely devious, controlling and charming guy =w=. His main motivation was power, he thought most people (except for his wife rochelle altough they have a tomshiv thing going on) are beneath him and mostly there for him to order around like chess pieces. And something that made this campaign insanely fun for me was that in order to get more powerful he had to do a task for the fey queen - kidnap and deliver a singer to her. A singer which also happened to be the person we had to protect during our investigation... dm and me kept it secret.

It was so insanely fun to walk into every scene thinking of how to find an opportunity to do that... in the end I managed to, in a very tense scene (the greyscale sketch at the top, the girl smiling behind theo is one of the fey messangers). The other PCs didnt stop him because they had some trust in him... got away with it completely :3. Tho I agreed not to play him in the next campaign (even tho id love to >_<) bc his jig was kinda up. Great character tho, and thanks to my dm i finally get warlocks, i might play one sometime!

Now, still in the city of mist im playing Valerie :3

Her mythos is "Vampire" but she refuses to drink blood... she gets all sorts of issues bc of that, has trouble keeping down frineds and jobs ect... Still very early in the campaign but shes pretty fun :3 tho i prefer chracters who are a bit more commanding, i made her more of a follower to let my group breathe after theo but i kinda naturally fell back into organising the party again last session so i think i just need to stick to making charismatic characters next time sidugfsd. shes a nice change of pace tho, im excited for whats in store for her.

My feywild!!! It's a setting ive had in my head ever since i made Rochelle, Its sort of an early modern france mixed with Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell which sounds pretty lame and ig it is isudgfsd.

Theres a lot of ideas and a lot of characters that i dont really have time to develop and am prolly gonna rework a million times =w= but its fun, and its fun to make plalists for random archfey.

Last character I'll mention =w= even tho i never got to play him because the campaign fell apart before the fist session, as they often do, I really love Byk and I wanna show you guys...

Tadeusz Byk born in 1880 in Poland, Emigrated to the usa (boston then moved near new york) with his mother and grandma when he was 13... Operates a temporary house for immigrants that his mother started. Now 40, works as a tailor and sells moonshine on the side. Depressed, repressed and with a big heart... hope i get to dust him off for something someday...

[bokutosbiceps]

Hi! If requests are open, could I please have a matchup with a male character from bsd and kny?

My Name is Rachel, Im 18, and my pronouns are she/her.  My zodiac sign is Taurus and Im a Gemini rising. I have brown hair that comes a few inches below my shoulders, brown eyes and freckles. My MBTI type is ENFJ

I’m a really optimistic person, and I try to help others as much as I can! I’m good at giving advice, and making people feel better. I’m also very charismatic and very outgoing! I love trying out new activities, But, I can get impatient easily and I tend to be stubborn. I’m very affectionate and I tend to make sure that everyone around me is feeling alright before making sure that I am. Basically, I’m like the mom friend. 

I really enjoy fashion design. I love sewing and coming up with a new ideas of something I can make! I’m also really passionate about music. I’ve played piano since second grade, and it really helps me to express myself! Some of my other hobbies include baking, crocheting and shopping. My personal style is a kind of mix between softie and angelcore. I love clothes that are pink, ruffly or have some sort of lace on them. Some things I like include, pretty perfume bottles, flowers, and jewelry I have a huge sweet tooth, so I also really like desserts! I absolutely hate bugs. In a partner, I look for someone who is loyal, patient, and can make me laugh.

Thank you so much!!

a/n: ugh i immediately knew who i wanted to match you with but i’m so conflicted for kny. we’ll see ;) i hope you enjoy !!

bungou stray dogs

I match you with dazai osamu! So post port mafia dazai because he’s just a happy lil boy who’s trying to live his best life and help people. you are like dazai’s shining light, his little angel, his everything. he loves that you’re so optimistic and affectionate because sometimes when the weight of the world is too much for him to bear, you can pull him right out of that with just your smile and you two can continue to be happy and adorable together. dazai also really enjoys your doting nature because the boy knows he needs someone to take care of him + remind him how important he is to them. dazai finds your fashion sense absolutely adorable and is *heart eyes emoji* whenever you wear something w lace. he loves that shit. because he knows of your love for sweets, he will bring home a different treat for you every day and weekends would include parlor dates where you guys will share a nice sweet treat while you have a nice light hearted chat.

kimetsu no yaiba

I match you with agatsuma zenitsu! this boy is so heart eyes over you it’s insane. you saved his life. at first, he was a little skeptical that someone so cute could also be so kind, but once he saw your optimistic nature and caring heart, he done for. he spoils you. buys you all the cutesy outfits you want, treats you to a sweet treat whenever he gets the chance, and will always buy you beautiful jewelry because its beauty reminded him of you. he is also such a cheerleader for you + support all of your hobbies. if you bake something, he’s the first in line to taste it + will get super jealous over anyone else who gets to try your cooking >:( he loves it whenever you play music for him + will always proclaim it’s the most beautiful thing that’s ever graced his ears. basically, he simps for you. but in a good way. such a wholesome lil couple omg

[mays-simping-for-leona]

leona's type in women:

im writing the pirate leona x siren reader scenario so here's some quick simple post till i finish writing (edit: i posted the pirate leona scenario)

leona in general doesn't really care about his lady's appearance, he will care more about the personality and how she treat him

leona will prefer a women who believes in equality in relationships, not a whole 50/50 but a woman who wont be like "you are a man you are not a kid do it yourself" but a kind of women who will help him and he can help her too, example: when you cook he wash the dishes, when he cook you wash the dishes, when you are tired and can't do anything he will do both, when he is tired and can't do anything she will do both (it's just an example i know leona can't cook)

leona will like a woman who can be independent, take care of her own life and be successful, he will enjoy seeing his lady's dreams come true and, because i believe leona will feel good when he sees important people in his life make the things that he was not able to do, since they have more chances than him

leona will obviously expect his lady to be a kind of powerful and respectful woman, she will be strong both physically and mentally, he will admire strong ladies more since he is used to that kind in his kingdom, he still respects normal woman who are not that strong but will look forward for the ome who can be a bit of a dom

leona will obviously be more instinctively attracted to lionesses because duh it is in his nature, but there's a big chance for him to like humans and other species

leona will admire a woman who is not available to everyone, i mean a woman who knows who she wants and won't accept any random man, a woman who doesn't have 10 thousand exs, a lady who is special and hard to get, a woman who will make him try hard to be better for her so he deserves to be her lover because he respects her so much, Leona will see that it is a loss for a woman to date a man who is less worthy and worthless than her, and that she would deserve someone much better

leona will prefer calm and sedate women, since he doesn't like noisy people and looks for someone intelligent and mature to be his partner, someone who is not a tall toddler and can actually have good and interesting conversations with

As for appearance, as I said, Leona will not mind anything, but it is clear that he will love a woman who has a charismatic and majestic appearance, her presence alone is full of strength, sharp and strong features that impose control, and I think for some reason that Leona prefers girls with long hair (i don't know why it's just my gut) A woman has a sexy and attractive body, and how attractive will it be to him? Some muscles that show the strength of this woman will do the trick, it will be a nice sight to look at for leona

leona will really enjoy a woman that's physically strong, i can imagine him training with his lady in the gym or being a team in the spelldrive match, also will enjoy having having a fight with her from time to time

leona is not a big fan of being dom (i talked about this in this post) so he will be really comfortable in equal-to-equal relationship

im getting wild i know but leona will like women who smells good all the time and have a strong scent (lion just lioning)

[isaacathom]

its ds9 time once again, because like every two weeks i remember im meant to be watching it. s2e11

fun opening, unclear on the vibe but it is fun i guess. lot of essentialism going on-

hello obrien? hi. oh keikos in this episode. hopefully for good reasons. okay so we're playing downball with rackets. squash? is this space squash? space squash. i understand now.

i do like that the squad has a range of relations to each other, namely that noone actually seems to like bashir except for like, i wanna say dax, and im not sure thats genuine friendship as much as it was pity. i just think its fun. only person on this station who genuinely likes the guy is garrick, i think. and crucially that bashir is completely unaware that people don't like him that much. cause it lets him just keep going :) hello! and obriens over here like 'jesus christ this fucking guy'

i dont know what the plot of this episode is, but i do think this unwell alien immediately divulging his life story to this guy is incredibly funny

both of these actors feel very familiar in a way i cannot place. who are you fuckers. PRINCE HUMPER- wait no while thats a fascinating role i wouldnt know the fucker off that. no way i wouldve recognised him from that. i think maybe he just has one of those faces. ditto the dead guy. wild shit.

obriens impersonation of bashir was fucking hilarious.

while checking out humperdincks wikipedia i have been reminded of the actual plot of the episode, because netflix's summaries are honestly kind of rubbish half the time, and i see it is beginning. though i guess obriens sole opponent for space squash being the sector champion is the first point of bonkers luck, and 'no fucking salt' is the second. or sauce.

okay so the way the orb works is that if you win, it gives you good luck at someone elses expense. martus gets out of prison while bashir struggles to find a sauce dispenser. obriens gonna have a fucking heart attack while he gets rich, things of this nature.

martus, very charismatic fellow.

obrien mate surely theres a treadmill somewhere you dont gotta jog in the prom- hang on hasnt odo yelled at people for running in the promenade? obrien man being on the fucking executive committee doesnt get you exemptions. okay maybe it does but still come on. (bridge crew was the word i was looking for, "executive committee" isaac)

this woman is ALSO really familiar. who are you. noone! just another of those faces! jesus im being played for a chump. have i been struck by the bad luck orb????

so bashir isnt naive, per se, but he is focusing on one specific thing - obriens ego - and not on the fact obrien just doesnt like him lmao. incredible work. love you

hi sisko, been a hot minute.

"you begged me to stay" "i didnt beg i blackmailed you" sisko man youre the best

genuinely though like, the dead alien man that was probably less that he looked familiar and more a vague impression from the makeup, but martus and roana seem SO familiar, roana just has a vibe, its bizarre.

stepped on a ball midflight, exceptional.

i do enjoy that obrien just stomps around casually.

oh its just straight racquetball? oh so when i said it was squash i wasnt that fair off. ill be fucking damned. still space racquetball mind, also space something.

bashir looks so pissed to be swindled into this fight, like hhhhh i hate having a moral compass. i love that for him.

the running joke of people telling martus their whole life stories is genuinely quite funny.

head immediately into a tit, incredible work martus, and the wife arrives, the luck of the galaxy baby

WHO DOES ROANA REMIND ME OF. my god! fuck! like shes just so FAMILIAR. its gonna drive me nuts i have absolutely no way of figuring it out because shes predominantly a tv actress, and further that im not sure ive seen the person im thinking of in a movie or anything, just a gifset???? god. fuck man.

frame the fucking obrien/keiko scene, excellent stuff, genuinely love it, really sweet just MWAH. very nice.

bashir going ... okay so you tried to drug me, first of all, and NOW youre trying to guilt me into either doing it myself or playing like shit to fix the match. oh yea bashir. just going :) you guilted me once, quark, not a second time, that shits hot.

yeah the ep kinda bites. ohhh alsia. oh lmao.

yeah that episode wasnt good but bits were funny. shrug

[smileysuh]

Set Up : Frat!Johnny

🌙 staring. Johnny x afab!Reader

🔮 synopsis. Johnny is never rude to anyone. which is why your four frat friends, Doyoung, Taeyong, Mark and Haechan think it’s so odd that you clash heads with the six foot Chicago native. Lucas has a secret, your friends try to play match maker, and you get sabotaged on multiple occasions, but it’s just another week at the frat.

cw/ tw. frat nct, lots of shenanigans in the frat, the boys act as match makers with powerpoints, jokes about Mark having a mommy/daddy kink... MEAN Johnny, Dom!Johnny, multiple orgasms, fingering, oral (f receiving), choking, hand cuffs, sex without a condom (wrap it when you tap it), big boy Johnny, man handling, pet names, im not going to lie this was completely self indulgent fic- English major Johnny- mentions of Jane Austen as a date idea, Himbo Light Tower, etc...

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 14.4k

🍭 aus. frat, enemies to lovers, slow burn, crack, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. find the rest of my frat universe here

The music feels amazing - or maybe it’s the shot you’d taken when you’d arrived at the frat - either way, the next best thing to make your night exciting would naturally be: a boy. 

You don’t have to wait long.

Hands find your waist, and when you look down, you let out a giggle.

It’s Halloween, and from the gloved mitts, striped orange and black, you think the guy behind you must be a… tiger?

You hope to god he’s not a furry. 

You’re feeling bold. It’s the first time you’ve come out to the frat.

You’ve somehow become acquainted with a group of its members in a first year philosophy course. Mark, Haechan, Taeyong, and Doyoung, well, Haechan specifically, decided in first class that you would be their new best friend, and had continued to sit next to you every day until he made it a reality.

They’re nice guys, it feels good to have friends with frat guys who aren’t douchebags, you’ve met quite a few. There are some asshole frat boys, but you try not to think about that as you turn in your mystery man’s arms-

And come face to face with the biggest asshole frat boy of them all.

Well, that’s debatable, but to you, it’s a fact. Not that you have much experience with frat boys other than your small group of friends. 

You’d met Johnny Suh on your first day of classes. He’d been in your introduction walk around group and his charismatic loudness had charmed many people… you were not one of them. 

Johnny, meanwhile, couldn’t wrap his head around how big the stick up your ass must be for you to not appreciate him and his jokes.

In fact, he’d kind of taken it personally, and it has affected any friendship the two of you may have been able to start on that first day.

You see each other around campus, you even have a class together (where Johnny continues to be obnoxious), but this is the first time you’ve been face to face with him in ages. 

You can tell from his expression, the way his brows pull together even under the stupid tiger hat, that the rambunctious frat man recognizes you too. 

“Oh,” is all he has to say to you. 

You mirror his frown, pulling away from the paws on your hips 

“Are you a tiger?” you ask. “Who comes to a halloween party as a tiger?”

Johnny lets out an exasperated puff before rolling his eyes. “I’m Tony the Tiger. You know, the cereal? And what are you supposed to be?” 

He takes in your halloween costume, eyes raking your form with a judgemental stiffening of his upper lip.

“For your information,” you glare up at him, “I’m one of the three blind mice.” 

You pull your glasses out, the old specticals to go with the cane and tophat you’d also ditched earlier... and realize maybe this is super lame. 

Maybe.

Haechan had come up with the outfit, not you, and apparently no one other than Taeil was whipped enough for Haechan to dress in a friendship costume for Halloween. 

So here you are as the third blind mouse with neither of the others in sight.

Johnny cocks his head, “you’re friends with Haechan huh?”

“Are you?” you ask in shock.

Johnny laughs. “Sweetheart, you’re in my frat house.” 

You’d gotten frat vibes from Johnny, but never stopped to consider he’d be in Haechan’s frat. 

You open your mouth to say something snarky when your best soft boy friend, Mark, makes a sudden appearance up on your right, making both you and Johnny look at him. 

“Mom, Dad, I don’t feel so good.” the red faced Canadian groans just as Haechan arrives like a babysitter that’s always three steps behind his charge.

“Mark, you’re so funny!” Haechan bellows, obviously tipsy, but also obviously trying to cover something up.

Trying to cover up Mark, who has reached out to play with Johnny’s tiger tail. 

Mark is shit faced.

“Mark, let's get you some water,” you sigh, brushing over the fact that he’d just called you and Johnny mom and dad. You can make fun of him for that later, but right now, you need to get this child to safety. 

“No, let’s party, he can deal with himself!” the maknae pouts, grabbing at you, “and where is the rest of your costume!?”

“Haechan, let me take care of Mark,” you say to the man who has forcibly made himself one of your best friends in the past few months. You look at Johnny as you direct Mark towards the bathrooms, making sure to lace your words with venom, “I was tired of this party anyways.”

Mark stops puking at around 2 am.

Although other frat boys have popped in and out of his room and the bathroom to check on the both of you, you’re the only one who’s been consistently with the resident music theory major.

Taeyong stuck around for a while, even gave you a new set of comfy clothes once it became clear that you’d be playing nurse for the long haul.

It’s now around 7 am and Mark is passed out in his bed.

His roommate, Yuta, had shown up in the room at around 3, taken one look at Mark moaning in pain, tangled in a dark duvet, with a puke bucket on the floor, and you sitting there, and the elder man had offered you his bed to get some much deserved shut eye. 

Yuta is asleep with Mark now, and they actually look kind of cute: the elder of the two is the bigger spoon, and Mark is drooling on Yuta’s arm, which has become his pillow.

You’ve heard about Yuta with some frequency, but this is the first time you’re really meeting him.

A sleepy Japanese prince is not what you expected from tales of a mischievous flirt with anime character hair… which, you have to admit, is perfect even while he sleeps.

You sit up quietly, looking around the room for your few things.

Sleeping over had never been part of the plan, but Mark had needed you. 

Now, you just want to get home and rest in your own bed, with sheets that don’t smell dualistically pleasantly and disgustingly like axe body spray and layers upon layers of cologne.  

You wonder, momentarily, when the last time this bed was washed, and a shiver runs from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

The frat is quiet as you escape Mark’s room and move down to the main floor. You figure you’ll grab a glass of water before you leave, just to feel a little cleaner.

You don’t even consider anyone else being awake, which is how you nearly bump into Johnny Suh for the second time in under twenty four hours.

“Jesus fu-” He stops himself, as he readjusts the cup of coffee in his hands that you’d nearly knocked to the floor. Then his eyes look at you. “What are you still doing here?”

What a wonderful thing to wake up to, you think.

You cross your arms over your chest and open your mouth to respond, but before you can, Johnny says, “Are you wearing Taeyong’s clothes?” 

“What’s it to you?” you challenge him, narrowing your eyes. You know what he’s insinuating, but it’s none of his business, and besides, he has the wrong idea.  

Johnny sips his coffee, still looking down at you. Neither of you have really moved from your near collision, and this close to the wall of a man you’d nearly run into, you’re starting to become aware of how large Johnny is, he truly invades your space, a cocky smile on his lips all the while.

“Just not used to seeing Taeyong’s fuck toys walking around the next morning.” Johnny answers smoothly. “He must not have tried too hard with you.”

You’re shocked by his words, jaw dropping at the fact he’d actually gone there- 

“For your information,” you say firmly, “I’m not one of Taeyong’s fuck toys. He’s one of my friends, and I stayed over all night taking care of Mark, which is something that maybe you should have been doing after he called you dad.”

“Mama was working on it though, weren’t you, sweetheart.” he winks as he walks past you, not saying another word, and you look after him, gobsmacked, with your heart racing.

“I still feel bad about it though,” Mark frowns after apologizing for the seventh time since you all sat down for your Monday morning lecture.

“Mark, it’s fine,” you assure him, “if anyone should apologize, it’s Johnny.”

“Really? For what?” Haechan laughs, leaning in, visibly more interested in the conversation at the mention of his favourite six foot frat brother. 

“I bumped into him in the kitchen when I left,” you explain. “And after seeing me in Taeyong’s shirt, that he’d given me while i was taking care of Mark, Johnny pretty much said i was one of Taeyongs ‘fuck toys’.”

The gentle man who’d done the crime of lending you a hoodie and sweats has ears that turn red at your words, and he immediately starts to sputter out excuses, “I’m really not a player-” 

“Liar.” Doyoung shoves his friend with a laugh, “Taeyong’s a slime ball.”

“Am not!” Taeyong pushes Doyoung back with a smile.

“Do I have to sit between the two of you again?” you sigh, only half joking.

The fourth class of term you’d actually had to separate them because they’d started fighting over what movie they were going to watch that night, and things had started to get physical.

“And Taeyong,” you touch his forearm, “you can fuck whoever you want, I don’t care, it was just rude of Johnny to say.”

“That’s not like Johnny to be rude though,” Mark yawns, stretching his arms up and over his head before crossing them over his chest, a thoughtful look forming on his boyish features.

“Are you sure it was Johnny and not Jaehyun?” Haechan asks. “That sounds like something Jaehyun would say to fluster a girl.”

“It was definitely Johnny, but remind me never to talk to Jaehyun if that’s his tactic for ‘flustering’ women,” you laugh.

“Y/N, why are you single?” Taeyong asks. 

It’s something that feels sudden to you, but it’s a question that’s been on his mind since he met you months ago. 

You shrug, taking a moment before responding with, “I just haven’t found the right guy, i guess. Who knows?”

“We know guys,” Mark offers.

“You know frat guys,” you correct him.

“Hey, frat guys are nice too,” Haechan pouts, resting his head on your shoulder to remind you that he’s your baby whilst still being a frat guy. 

“We could set you up with someone,” Taeyong insists, “we know lots of nice guys.”

“Like Kun,” Doyoung throws out a name.

“Or Winwin,” Haechan suggests.

“What kind of guy are you even into?” Mark is fully turned to look at you now, determined to set you up with a guy in penance for making you be his nurse at the party. 

You open your mouth to respond, but that’s when the professor shows up to start the lecture. 

“We’ll talk about this later,” you promise, with no clue that, for the next hour, all four of your companions will be making detailed lists about who they think they should introduce you to.

You’re not sure how you end up in Taeyong’s room, a glass of wine in your hands, with Haechan presenting a (shockingly) semi well put together powerpoint on which of his frat brothers you should date. 

Haechan is the first presenter, and he seems to feel that you should date, shockingly, him.

But ‘if you don’t want his awesomeness and can’t give up your friendship’ (he said begrudgingly), he supposes “YangYang and Hendery are pretty cool, too.” 

This immediately disqualifies him as having any sway in your choice, according to Doyoung, who states: “YangYang and Hendery are children, I thought we wanted to set her up on a date, not to go baby sitting.”

“Hendery is literally older than me,” Haechan deadpans.

“Exactly, disqualified,” Doyoung announces. “Taeyong. you go next.”

“I wanna go next,” Mark whines, earning some bickering that results in Taeyong giving in to the younger man. 

Mark’s powerpoint isn’t as chaotic as Haechan’s was, in fact, it’s actually kind of okay.

Mark suggests Yuta as a potential date and cites “anime” and Japan being “the shit’ as reasons to go out with Yuta. He shows not one, not two, not three, but six different pictures of Yuta’s hair in an attempt to sway you. 

His second potential boyfriend for you, is Johnny, and Mark holds his hands up in defence immediately when you gawk at him. 

“Okay, hear me out on this. You two started on the wrong foot but he’s a nice guy-”

“Mark, I’m not dating Johnny to fulfil the weird Mommy and Daddy fetish you have for us,” you say as you sip your wine, giggling with the others at your own directness. 

Mark blushes in response. “Oh my Jesus-” he groans, “I don’t have a mommy daddy fetish-”

“Next powerpoint.” Haechan smirks over his wine glass at his floundering friend.

You momentarily glimpse the list before Mark closes his powerpoint, barely registering the pro’s of Johnny. 

Taeyong’s powerpoint is simple, providing a picture of his number one: Kun, and bullet points that read as follows: “can cook, nice, sexy smile, will treat you well, needs cuddles”.

“You know what? Those are all true,” Mark says after you’ve read the list out loud.

“Especially the last one,” Doyoung smirks. “He’s been trying to cuddle Winwin lately-”

“Which brings me to number two, Winwin!” Taeyong interrupts Doyoung, who, to be fair, interrupted Taeyong’s powerpoint first. “He is tall, quiet, a sweet boy, and good at everything.”

“And he’s cute.” Haechan points out, nudging you with his shoulder.

They’ve been trying to get you to rate their frat brothers on a scale of one to ten for the past week with little success. 

Doyoung’s powerpoint is last, and he starts by thoroughly detailing the members you shouldn’t even look at. 

“Jaehyun,” he begins sternly, “a man slut, doesn’t use sheets, never showers-”

“Thinks being mean to girls is flirting,” Haechan interjects.

“You’re a hypocrite, but yes, avoid,” Doyoung concludes. “Next, Lucas. Don’t be fooled Y/N, he’s six foot, but this kid-”

“You can’t just spill Lucas’s secrets!” Taeyong smacks a hand over Doyoung’s mouth. “Just trust us, you don’t want Lucas.”

“But he looks like a big puppy,” you say, endeared, leaning in to get a better look at the image Doyoung has used for his powerpoint.

“Why did you even show her the bad ones?” Haechan takes the mouse from Doyoung to skip to the next powerpoint slide.

“So she knows who to avoid,” Doyoung answers, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“You literally just showed her two of the hottest guys in the frat and then said ‘avoid them,’” Mark giggles, enjoying the craziness that naturally comes from hanging out with this particular group.

“I think, the clear answer to who Y/N should date, comes down to what she’s looking for,” Doyoung says, when Haechan finds the slide with the most info on it, “So I broke everyone down into categories and awarded points-”

You take one look at the spreadsheet and groan, hiding in Haechan’s embrace as he also tries to escape the numbers on the screen. 

“It’s Friday night,” Haechan moans. “Why numbers?”

Doyoung rolls his eyes. “Fine, if you don’t want to read my exact spreadsheets and scoring, then, long story short, I kind of agree with Taeyong about Kun.”

“What?” everyone sits up to look at Doyoung, who refuses to meet your eyes. 

He hates agreeing with Taeyong. 

“Kun is mature, kind, volunteers a lot, he’s in the pre med program- he can cook, he can clean-” Doyoung lists Kun’s accomplishments off the top of his head and you watch with a smile.

“Sounds like you should date Kun,” you tease.

“You know what? Fine, maybe I should.” Doyoung crosses his arms over his chest. “And I guess you can have Taeil,” he switches to his number two option and earns a “Hey! Taeil is mine!” from Haechan.

“So, I guess… Kun then?” Mark asks.

“He’s the most suitable.” Taeyong shrugs.

“According to Doyoung’s creepy math game he did,” you point out, making Doyoung screech and flip back to the math slide. 

He tries to explain it, but you’re already conversing with Haechan and Mark, thick as thieves as Haechan scrolls through Kun’s instagram to show you pictures of the pretty man in pre med.

Kun’s charming, his smile inviting, and he’s a great conversationalist. 

“I don’t think you realize how much the others must trust you,” Kun says as you’re walking from bubble tea to the theatre. 

“How do you mean?”

“Haechan suggested I take you to this movie,” Kun tells you, “It’s the biggest secret of the frat apparently. Wednesdays at four, the campus movie theatre will be practically empty. Sometimes we go during reading week all together, but it’s nice to go on a Wednesday you have off and get the best seats and have the whole place to yourself.” 

“Your frat secrets are kind of lame.” you joke, earning a chuckle from Kun who nods.

“It’s true.”

“Taeyong said there’s some secret about Lucas, but he wouldn’t let Doyoung tell me about it.” 

“And you’re hoping I will?” Kun can read you easily, and he smiles.

He thinks you’re cute, and he’s flattered that out of the whole frat, he’s the guy your friends thought should take you out. It means he must be doing something right.

“Please?” you grin.

“Lucas’s secret, let me think.” Kun runs a hand through his hair. The secret is pretty obvious to him, seeing as Lucas doesn’t really have secrets. In fact, is this even a secret? “On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t tell you.”

Your heart sinks in disappointment but you don’t push him.

At the theatre, Kun pays for popcorn like a gentleman and you both head in. He was right about it being practically empty. There are three singles scattered around the lower half of the room, so you and Kun find a place in the middle, the best seats.

Things look like they’re going to go smoothly, the lights turning off to signify the start of the movie- and thats when shit hits the fan.

Someone slides into the seat next to Kun and when you look over, your eyes meet Johnny’s, “wait, fuck-” he looks between you and Kun, “Am i crashing a date?”

“Yes,” you seethe as Kun asks “what are you doing here?”

“Haechan said they’d be playing a fun movie today and I had time, he said a few frat guys might be here and I saw you sitting in our usual spot so i just-” Johnny is trying hard not to look at you, trying to explain the situation to Kun, “but fuck, what’s she doing here?” he can’t hold back any longer, looking at you, “this is our frat’s secret movie time-”

“You don’t own this theatre, Johnny,” you hiss at him.

He glares at you, then he reaches out and steals some of Kun’s popcorn, and you can’t believe-

“Can you like… sit somewhere else?” The words are harsh as they leave your lips. 

“Nope,” Johnny answers firmly, turning to look at the screen as the ads start to play, “these are frat seats, you should move.”

Kun sighs as he sits between the two of you. 

Of course no one mentioned the fact that you have beef with Johnny, notoriously the scariest frat boy when mad- 

Kun puts two pieces together and realizes that Haechan had a hand in this mischief.

Now if only the pre med student could play detective and come up with the reason why Haechan would set this whole thing up-

Your leg is bobbing slightly from anxiety and Johnny leans over Kun to tell you to stop, his hand resting on your thigh to force you to adhere to his warning.

Kun sees what’s going on.

Although it’s clear that you and Johnny don’t.

Haechan must think the tension between you and the tall Chicago man is sexual, and Kun can definitely see it, buried beneath the garden variety aggression you’re both showing each other. 

You shove Johnny’s hand away, knee bobbing even harder and the man on Kun’s right throws his head back, groaning.

This is going to be a long movie.

“Haechan?” Kun calls when he knocks on the door to the younger man’s room. 

“Come in!” it’s Taeyong’s voice, not Haechan’s.

When Kun enters Haechan’s room, he’s met by Mark, Yuta, Taeyong and Doyoung.

The man who’s still fresh from his date is taken aback for a moment at the congregation here, on a Wednesday night? Then he sees they’re all crowded around a phone.

“Is Y/N telling you about the movie?” Kun asks, realizing nearly immediately what’s going on.

“No.” Mark grabs his phone and pockets it, a true friend, Kun thinks; making sure your thoughts about Kun are private despite Mark being friends with both of you.

“I just wanted to say, Haechan, I think you’re right about Y/N and Johnny.” Kun’s eyes land on the abnormally quiet member.

Haechan laughs, not the least bit ashamed of having been caught tampering with Kun’s date.

“What do you mean?” Doyoung looks between them both, having obviously been kept in the dark in regard to the younger mans meddling ways.

“Haechan sent Johnny to crash the date,” Kun answers, “at first I wondered why, but then I saw it too, the way they bicker-”

“Haechan, did you purposefully ruin Kun’s date after we voted-” Doyoung stands up aggressively, Taeyong holding him back with a grin. 

“I never voted for Kun,” Haechan says. “No offence, Kun. Mark pointed out Johnny as an option and I just thought-”

“Haechan!” Johnny arrives in the room next, having gone to the kitchen when they got back after the movie before heading up here.

“Johnny!” Haechan beams at his older friend. 

“You set us up,” Johnny says angrily, coming to stand next to Kun. “You told me people would be at the movie-”

“They were!” Haechan insists, “Y/N and Kun are people!”

“I don’t know what you think you’re trying to do,” Johnny glares, “but this shit better stop.” 

“What shit?” Haechan blinks cutely.

“If I see her around again-”

“You’re gonna what?” Haechan is playing with fire, “Kiss her?”

Johnny nearly lunges at Haechan, who throws himself behind Mark to use as a human shield.

Taeyong, Doyoung and Yuta grab at Johnny, stepping into their roles as peace keepers, and Kun takes a step back. He’s not really part of this, that much - at least - is clear now.

The premed student slips from the room without saying anything, allowing the others a chance to work this out without him there.

“Just admit you like her!” Haechan screams from behind Mark while Johnny gets visibly angrier.

“I don’t!” Johnny yells back. “You know what?!” he stops struggling. “Fine, if you guys want to play this way, I can be mean too.” 

He already has been mean to you, but Taeyong doesn’t think that needs to be pointed out as he watches Johnny.

“What are you going to do?” Taeyong asks when Johnny doesn’t immediately reveal a plan to ‘be mean’, which is setting Taeyong on edge as the frat president. This is his responsibility.

“If you guys want to set her up with Kun, I can set her up with Jae.” He pulls out his phone.

“We voted against Jaehyun though,” Doyoung says.

“I never voted,” Johnny states.

Like father, like son, Taeyong thinks sarcastically to himself, eyes darting between Haechan and his resident ‘Big’ frat brother. 

“Someone has a girl they want me to bone?” Jaehyun’s head pokes through the door a moment later.

“Absolutely not,” Doyoung says immediately.

Johnny just smirks, handing his phone over to Jaehyun, which is open on your instagram profile. “She’ll probably be at the next party,” he says after a moment of a visibly interested Jaehyun scrolling through your social media-

“We won’t invite her,” Doyoung interjects.

“I already did though,” Mark frowns.

After the Halloween party- well, if he gets shit faced again, having you around is a good thing. Mark realizes maybe he does have a slight, odd, mommy kink, now that he thinks about it-

“She’s cute,” Jaehyun says, eyes darting over Johnny’s phone screen.

Taeyong swallows thickly at this. It feels like Johnny is offering you up to a hunter, his next prize- 

“She’s our friend.” Taeyong says, trying to sound dominant, but he falls short when facing Johnny, who takes one look at him and chuckles.

“Did you hear that Jae? They don’t want you to fuck their precious girlfriend,” Johnny taunts.

“She’s really nice,” Yuta says.

“Hey, you’re not one of her boyfriends, stay out of this.” Haechan pushes at Yuta, who laughs. 

“What’s going on here?” Jaehyun looks amongst the men, trying to identify the source of the drama. “Are you guys actually all dating this girl-”

“Of course not,” Johnny takes his phone away, “in fact, Jaehyun, think of it as a competition-”

“Oh no-” Taeyong hides his face in his hands.

Jaehyun loves competition.

Johnny is way too smart for this shit.

If Jaehyun thinks of sleeping with you as a competition… then, he’s going to win. He always does.

Taeyong once saw Jaehyun scale the on campus library building on a dare just to say he could, with no prior climbing experience. the captain of the university soccer team had taken one look at Haechan demonstrating how to (sort of) climb, and had somehow become an expert off of the one shit tutorial.

“Me versus them?” Jaehyun smirks as he looks at the room. “Easy.”

“So if you see this man,” Doyoung forces his phone in your face again, “Do not interact.”

“I get it,” you push his hand away, tired of seeing Jaehyun’s picture over and over again, as if you don’t already know what he looks like. “You guys still haven’t told me why Jaehyun is going to come talk to me, I’ve never met him.”

Taeyong had decided it be a good idea not to tell you that Johnny’s the one behind this new… speed bump in your love life- the one they now feel responsible for: Jaehyun being horny and on the loose. 

Haechan and Mark are team Johnny, with unwavering faith in their Hyung being a good match for you.

Whereas Doyoung and Taeyong are more cautious, trusting what you’ve verbalized to be your feelings over Kun and Haechan’s ‘notes on sexual tension’. 

Taeyong and Doyoung think it’s best if they let you and Johnny stay away from each other, which is what you’ve both said you want.

And Mark and Haechan? Working like nasty little gremlin cupids to get you and Johnny either together, or close enough that they can use Jaehyun to make Johnny jealous.

The jealousy angle is Haechan’s hypothesis, obviously, but Mark thinks he has a good plan here. And worst comes to worst, Johnny doesn’t get jealous and you maybe make out with Jaehyun- who, honestly? is a nice guy.

Mark thinks you two could be cute together.

Johnny is in the kitchen with Lucas and Jungwoo. Sometimes the three of them find each other simply due to their height and then cumulate like a beacon of himbos for all the pretty girls coming through the front door, only to be star struck by the trio. 

Haechan pulls out his phone and his stalking skills go into effect- only to have snap chat’s location services become useless by the fact that you’re in the same house, and the app can’t specify your floor level.

How else can he find you?

A quick look around the room tells Haechan that Jaehyun is nowhere to be found. And if Jaehyun is intent on following through with Johnny’s challenge, however stupid it may be, he’ll be nearby you.

Haechan puts himself in Doyoung’s shoes. You’re at the party with Doyoung, where would you be if not in the main room? Upstairs in a bedroom hanging out with… Taeyong isn’t around either, or Yuta now that the maknae thinks of it- 

Haechan’s eyes narrow.

You’re having a mini party in someone's room and didn’t invite him or Mark, it’s the only plausible option.

Haechan knows it’s because Doyoung views them as the enemy now, in this twisted game of wing-manning that Haechan may also be completely adhering to the imaginary rules of. 

So that means you’re either in the ‘DoTae’ room, or YuMark’s… YuMark… Haechan’s too drunk to come up with ship names right now. His body carries itself upstairs and he heads to Doyoung’s room first.

The upper floors are only accessible for people in the frats and close friends, and because of this there are only a few people in the halls.

Haechan’s eyes spot Jaehyun hanging out and chatting with a girl, Taeil and Winwin.

Jaehyun looks at Haechan who smirks, ducking into Doyoung’s room, which Jaehyun is obviously monitoring from a distance. He’s not really friends with you, so unlike Haechan, Jaehyun can’t just casually walk in and insert himself into the conversation.

Completely unshockingly, when Haechan enters Doyoung’s room, there you are. 

Doyoung has a glass of wine, and Haechan wonders how he ever gets laid. 

Taeyong is seated comfortably, lounging with a lazy look in his face and a bottle of beer between his fingers.

Yuta has the saké out.

You’re sitting there in the middle of it, the pretty prize everyone has been obsessed over for weeks- And you have no idea.

“Y/N!” Haechan puts on his sweetest drunk voice. “Come dance with me!”

You don’t stand a chance against those puppy dog eyes and everyone in the room knows it.

You’re rising to your feet before you can even register that you’re agreeing. 

Haechan smiles sweetly at you, and as he ushers you through the door, his grin turns into a smirk, flaunting his win over the others. 

Haechan’s fingers lace with yours as he pulls you past Jaehyun, loitering in the hall, and down the stairs again, to the main room where the music is the loudest and the people make it easy to get lost, although, Haechan still has eyes on Johnny and the Himbo Light Tower. 

“Haechan!” you squeal when he stops in the middle of the room, turning to pull you into a hug.

He sways a little to the music and begins to sing obnoxiously in your ear, you realize he’s not flirting with you, no, his behaviour is more playful. 

Your friend pulls away from you but keeps your fingers locked, singing even louder and more like a mad man as he gets you into the song. 

He’s drunk.

You know it.

He knows it.

Johnny, who can clearly see you both... he knows it too.

But one thing you don’t know about drunk Haechan, as you haven’t seen him this sloshed, is that drunk Haechan enjoys this magical thing he calls ‘platonic kissing’. 

When Haechan does it with the guys, it’s one thing - grabbing them and pressing kisses to their cheeks or even their necks - but Johnny worries that you may react… badly.

Haechan hasn’t had a female friend in ages. Johnny can tell that he’s on the precipice of becoming “sloppy Haechan”, and as much as you annoy the shit out of Johnny, he’s not sure he can let you become the next thing in the path of destruction that is hurricane Hyuck.

“Who’s that girl with Haechan?” Lucas asks, nudging Johnny’s shoulder as he follows the other man’s gaze.

“Ooh Y/N?” Jungwoo perks up, eyes also landing on the two of you. “She’s friends with Mark, and Doyoung, Haechan, of course, and Taeyong,” he pauses, blinking thoughtfully, “And Johnny?”

Jungwoo’s a little drunk, but Johnny knows for a fact he sometimes puts on the stupid act, especially since he went blonde, to get his way with things.

 Jungwoo is curious about the drama, and who better to worm information out of than the source himself. Johnny admires Jungwoo and his tactics. 

If the pretty mechanical engineer ever wants anything in life, he’ll find a way to get it.

“She’s not my friend.” Johnny clarifies for them both, “but I should go step in before Haechan starts kissing her-”

“Jealous?” Lucas’s smug voice makes Johnny stop and turn to look at him.

“Jealous?” Johnny laughs at the word, “of Haechan?”

“The girl is cute.” Lucas shrugs.

First Jaehyun, now Lucas? 

And, Johnny supposes, maybe Haechan’s even under your spell.

What’s with this, and how did you end up in his frat of all the possible frats?

Johnny shakes his head, too tired to argue as he wades into the crowd. 

Haechan spots Johnny and the Chicago native is almost happy when the younger man lets go of you in favour of him, throwing his arms around Johnny, whose name he bellows loudly.

Johnny can’t even bring himself to feel angry at Haechan for dragging you to the dance floor for sloppy drunk shenanigans. Haechan’s too cute and snuggly in his arms. 

Haechan is a master manipulator, and he takes these precious moments of hugging to come up with a plan. 

“I’m tired,” Haechan says, fake yawning. He knows how cute he is. “Can you guys take me to bed?”

“Both of us?” you ask.

“Yes.” Haechan reaches out to grab your hand, forming a link that you know he’s not going to give up on easily.

You and Johnny exchange a look and he sighs, rolling his eyes, “Let’s get you to bed,” he says. 

Johnny leads the way upstairs towards his and Haechan’s room.

As you near it, Haechan runs ahead, earning a groan from Johnny.

When you reach the room, Haechan climbs out the window. 

“I-” your eyes widen and you look to Johnny, who doesn’t seem too phased.

“He climbs out there all the time.”

“Not while drunk!?” you say, hoping.

“Not while drunk.” Johnny agrees, then bounds over to the window, sticking half his body out of it to look at Haechan on the roof outside. “Haechan, get your ass back in here.”

“Maybe you should come and get me,” Haechan smirks, playing on his drunk persona even though the night air, and maybe the hight of the roof, has sobered him up a bit. 

Johnny doesn’t answer, he stands up in the room and looks at you, “he’s fine.”

“He’s on the roof, he’s not fine!” you rush over to look out. 

It’s not super far down but- 

“Go get him,” you say.

“What?” Johnny laughs. “No. You go get him.”

“Fine.” you grab the windowsill to pull yourself out and Johnny stops you, one massive hand wrapping around your forearm.

“Hey, stop, what are you doing?” 

“Going out to get him, I told you-”

“No, it’s dangerous.”

“It’s worse for him, he’s drunk!” 

Johnny groans, “this is obviously a trick.”

He’s used to Haechan and his mischief after having lived with him. 

You’re not.

“A trick?” you gasp. “I’m going out there.”

Johnny tries to stop you but you push him, and despite you being much smaller physically, your motion sends him a few feet back. 

He groans, hating that he’d had to release you, or risk pissing you off even more. 

Johnny watches you climb out the window. “If you die-”

“If I die, you can laugh like the devil you are,” you seethe, holding tight to the wall even though you have some standing room. 

“Johnny Hyung! Come look at the stars with us!” Haechan calls to the man who has stuck his head out of the window to watch you both. 

Johnny nearly jumps out of his skin when Mark shows up next to him. 

“Shit, you have to go and help her,” Mark says.

“What’s with everyone and going on the roof? Haechan will be fine!” Johnny groans. “And Y/N would be too if she hadn’t gone out there-”

You let out a small squeal and Johnny finds himself half out the window, body immediately jumping to your aid. 

“Mark,” he stops to look at the Canadian, “this window locks from the inside, this stick keeps it up, don’t let it close,” he warns, this is just one of the reasons he hadn’t wanted to go out in the first place.

“Haechan’s really busted this window up huh?” Mark giggles to himself as Johnny sets his eyes on you... and Haechan, he guesses. 

“Did you slip?” Johnny asks you, wondering why you’d squealed. 

“A little,” you admit shyly. 

The ledge is semi slanted and not super wide, so even if you were walking it wouldn’t be comfy.

You’re sitting now with your feet dangling off the edge, Haechan looking as comfortable as ever next to you.

“It’s not that long of a fall,” the mischievous drunk says.

“Then you jump it,” Johnny growls.

Haechan shakes his head. “I climb down that thing.” 

And then, Johnny watches as he goes over and does just that, climbing down the trellis for flowers, which Johnny is sure many frat boys have used over the years.

“Let me help you get up to your feet, and then we can go back in the window-” Johnny says to you, turning to look in the direction he came- and he watches as Mark slowly closes the frame.

He can tell Mark’s motions are delayed because he questions himself, but the moment of pausing, of showing Johnny what he’s about to do- it’s almost crueler. 

The window slams shut, and for good measure, Mark locks it too, even though Johnny is sure it’s going to be stuck now until Haechan can wedge it open again. 

Johnny will never know what that kid did to ruin the window this badly- 

“They planned this,” Johnny realizes. “No fucking way.”

“I told you, you never want to be my enemy, loser!” Haechan calls up from the ground.

Johnny had never realized that the second floor is actually decently high up. Are the ceilings on the main level above standard? Or maybe it just looks like a long ways-

“Come sit.” you sigh, bringing Johnny back to reality as you pat the space next to you. “And Haechan? Go to sleep or have some water.” 

“Yes mom.” 

The younger man sticks his tongue out at you before winking and heading inside.

A few people are watching the whole thing from near the fire pit while smoking. Jungwoo and Lucas look up at Johnny, and then even Jaehyun shows up.

“Are you two alright?” the newest man outside is the first of the three to ask a question in the small time it’s been since Haechan left you stranded in shock.

Lucas hands him a cigarette and Jaehyun takes a drag while Johnny relays that you’re both okay. 

“Why’d he call you mom?” Lucas asks.

“Don’t you know?” Jungwoo giggles, “Mark has a mommy daddy fetish for Y/N and Johnny.”

“Oh.” Lucas nods, but you can see he still doesn’t truly understand what Jungwoo is saying.

Jaehyun chuckles, having realized the same thing you just did. “Maybe we should leave these two.” 

He’s picked up on everything. 

Haechan wouldn’t go to that much trouble to get you and Johnny together without an ulterior motive, and employing sweet innocent Mark? 

Jaehyun, like Kun, is yet another casualty in a love war being fought in the frat. 

Looks like this is a win for Haechan side, if he even has a side other than his own self interest and match making aspirations. 

With one last drag and a wink from Jaehyun, the three head inside to leave you at peace with Johnny, who’s still shocked by Haechan and Mark’s dual betrayal. 

Is it a betrayal though?

Haechan has tried twice now to get you together, and as much as he acts like it’s all mischief, there must be something pure at heart there-

With Haechan, there always is.

Maybe Johnny should just follow Haechan’s intuition.

“Are you scared of heights,” he asks softly, and it’s the first truly calm, peaceful, pleasant thing he’s said to you.

You think about it. “it’s not a long ways down,” you tell him. “I know we could make it, it’s just odd sitting in this position with your legs hanging like this.”

Johnny looks down and is suddenly shaken by a sense of vertigo. 

“Let’s look at the stars then.” 

You laugh, following his lead and tilting your chin up. “I can’t believe sweet baby Mark just closed the window on you-”

“I know,” Johnny laughs. “I wonder if this was always the plan or spur of the moment.”

“Good question,” you cock your head as you consider it. “A bit of both maybe?”

There’s a moment of silence, then: “Why do you hate me so much?” 

“What?” you laugh.

“If they put us together, it’s for a good reason. So. Why do you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you-”

“Coulda fooled me,” he rolls his eyes and nudges you with his shoulder.

“See, that’s what it is, the cockiness.” 

Johnny laughs like it’s a joke; “You think I'm cocky.”

“Why do you hate me!?”

“Because you don’t laugh at my jokes.”

“Well i just don’t find you particularly funny,” you throw back, narrowing your eyes as you lean towards him, the air thick with tension. Neither of you want to back down.

“Because you’re bias and prejudice.”

“You don’t even know what that word means.”

“Oh really? What’s my major huh? Little miss smarty pants?” Johnny glares at you. “Why wouldn't I know what the word Prejudice means? Too Jane Austen for you?” 

“Are you an english major?” you ask him in shock, momentarily taken aback by the turn of events.

Maybe you do have him pegged wrong.

English majors are cute. You’ve always had a thing for them- you wonder why no one had mentioned this about Johnny before- wait. ‘English Major’ had been on Mark’s power point… hadn’t it?

Had Mark known you best of all? And even gone against the status quo in the off chance it would convince you to give Johnny a chance? And what does Haechan also see in the tall man? To be this devious to get you together?

You can’t lose your trust in those two, not now.

“You have a hard on for English Majors, princess?” Johnny smirks at you.

“You see?! cocky!” you groan, turning to look at him and give him a piece of your mind- and you nearly fall off the roof.

Johnny grabs you quickly, and slams your body back against the wall with his arm-

“Watch it,” he growls, steadying you both, “look up at the stars.”

“I don’t take orders from you,” you glare, but do as you’re told. “Look, if we’re going to just argue, I want to talk about things that are interesting at least.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?” 

“Like, Lucas has a secret that everyone seems to know about but me-”

“You’re not a frat brother.”

“I mean, I sort of am-” you tease, eager for the information more than anything else.

“You’re not in our frat secret club, even if Kun told you about movie Wednesdays,” Johnny says simply. “I’ll tell you someday, but not here.”

“Someday,” you laugh a little at the word, he sounds so certain. You suppose you are best friends with his best friends now, maybe he’s just accepted that you’re going to be around now. 

“Listen. I’m going to pretend you don’t find my cockiness to be not fun,” he laughs to himself, “and maybe you could pretend I'm not so obnoxious. We can start over. I have to go kick Haechan’s ass, but on Wednesday, I’ll be at the movie theatre if you want to show up and fight me for the best seat.”

“Sounds like you’re asking me on a date, Mr. Suh,” you smile, skin heating at the prospect to betray your inner thoughts. 

Why does this sound like such a good idea?

“No, I’m telling you to square up. Movie theatre, Monday at four, I’ll buy popcorn.” as if for theatrical flair, Johnny jumps off the roof. He lands in the grass, and looks up at you, a cheeky grin on his face, “it’s really not that far.” he tells you, “Jump down, I’ll help you.”

“Fuck it,” you take a leap of faith and land in Johnny’s arms. 

He smiles when he sets you down.

“I thought you’d need more convincing,” he admits.

“You don’t know me, we’re starting over right?” you ask.

“True.” Johnny nods.

“It’s been nice to meet you Johnny, now go kick Haechan’s ass.”

Haechan’s ass kicking consists of Johnny locking him out for the night. Haechan, of course, went back to the party after stranding you on the roof, and he’d stumbled up at two AM to find his bedroom door locked. 

You had gone to hang out with Doyoung and Taeyong, who generally prefer to spend time together at the wind down of big frat parties. 

Kun, oddly enough, had shown up at twelve and offered to drive you home. The car ride had been pleasant, and Kun hadn’t asked you about Johnny or talked about the awkward date you’d had.

You think it’s obvious at this point that the set up between you and Kun hadn’t worked. Instead, he asks you about your friendship with Doyoung, Mark, Taeyong and Haechan, and he’s even able to give you some insight on them. 

Turns out they’d all taken the first year course you’d met them in for fun, something you already knew, but the new information is that they’d mostly planned on skipping.

You’re the reason they attend at all, which Kun complimented you for. He’s never known something to bribe all four like that, well- money and beef could convince those men to do just about anything- but Kun had a point.

He watched you walk all the way to your door, even waving to say goodnight before driving off. 

You wake up the next morning in a daze, shocked at the night events.

Johnny kind of asked you on a date.

You’re not sure why you didn’t tell Taeyong and Doyoung after the fact, but you find yourself messaging Mark and Haechan in their separate ‘young ballers’ group chat where they primarily spend the time shitting on Doyoung’s taste in wine.

By noon you’re in a diner, shuffling into a booth with Haechan and Mark, both of whom look like shit, which you expected on a Saturday after a frat party.

Haechan tells you about having to sleep in Taeil’s room, and this begins a discussion about why Haechan loves Taeil the most- 

You enjoy being with Mark and Haechan, and soon plates of food are placed in front of you.

“So Johnny asked me out,” you say when Haechan is mid bite of food, causing him to sputter dramatically.

Mark smacks the younger man on the back, looking at you with doe eyes. “You mean the roof plan worked?” 

“Sort of,” you answer. “We’re restarting, as if we’ve never met. Maybe we could be friends.” You shrug.

“Friends who wanna fuck,” Haechan says loudly, earning a hand over the mouth from Mark who is not having his shenanigans this early in the morning. 

“So basically it’s a movie on Wednesday,” you explain.

“So original.” Haechan rolls his eyes, that had been his plan for Kun’s date with you last week. He can only pay the Dreamies off to get them to stop going and date crashing for so long- 

And to see Johnny with a girl? He’s pretty sure they’re going to up the price on that one.

Kun Hyung had been one thing, but Johnny- well he might actually get some action-

Haechan needs to get his mind out of the gutter. 

“Why are you two so convinced about this?” you ask.

“Because Johnny never hates anyone,” Mark answers. “The fact that you two don’t get along-”

“It just doesn’t happen,” Haechan interjects. 

 “If we’re wrong, then we’re sorry.”

Haechan snorts, “Speak for yourself.”

“Dude,” Mark groans, beginning to argue with his friend about their responsibility, and how locking you on the roof was kind of irresponsible- someone had threatened to call the fire department on them- (Haechan debunks this and says it was Doyoung who made the threat and he of course, never followed through, or even went to check on you or Johnny-) 

Conversation with these two is easy.

They don’t make a big deal out of the whole thing, and breakfast proceeds pleasantly. 

Monday, however, doesn’t go over as well.

“Johnny? Really?” Doyoung can’t believe it, his eyes clenching as he makes a disgusted face, throwing his arms up in the air and turning in his seat to look at Taeyong. “She’s choosing a date with Johnny over Kun?”

“Johnny’s nice.” Taeyong shushes Doyoung, who is really most upset about being wrong in his matchmaking choice. His primary reasoning against Johnny was your verbal hatred of him, which has seemed to have done a 180 turn. 

“I always knew it,” Mark says, something he’s been repeating since you all sat down.

“Actually Yuta ‘the Japanese Prince’ Nakamoto was your first choice, Mark Lee,” Haechan taunts. 

“Well, Johnny wasn’t even on your list,” Mark retorts, annoyance evident in his tone.

“That’s cuz I’m not a little mommy daddy creep like you are-”

“I’m not a mommy daddy creep-” Mark says a little too loudly… just as your professor walks in. 

Mark declares, an hour later - after sitting through the most embarrassing lecture in the front row of his life - that he’s going to drop out of this class and kill himself, not necessarily in that order. 

“This fucker isn’t even picking me up,” you mumble into your cell to Mark as you make your way to the movie theatre. 

“Does Johnny even have your phone number?” Haechan’s loud gum chewing invades the phone.

“No, but he could dm me on insta.”

“This isn’t even really a date though,” Mark points out. “He just said ‘ill be there, come fight me’.”

“It’s a date,” you say for the fifth time today, “it’s the way he said it-”

“Didn’t he legit say ‘come fight me for the best seat’?” Mark laughs.

“You know what? You’re not nice,” you hang up on him and call Haechan who answers with a giggle.

They’re in the same room, and you’d been on Mark’s speaker phone, but you’re making a point.

“She likes me better,” the maknae taunts Mark momentarily. “It’s a low maintenance date and you deserve better, baby.”

“Aren’t you the one who worked hard to set this up?” you laugh, in love with the shenanigans. 

When you get to the theatre, you pay for your ticket and head in. Johnny is in the best seat already, and his legs are up, arms out.

You approach with caution. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he says, looking up at you while lazily motioning to the chairs on either side of him with his hands, “sorry, these seats are taken.”

“Fuck off,” you groan and turn to leave but he catches your hand.

“I’m kidding,” he laughs. “Old habits die hard.” 

His large, warm hand tugs at your wrist, pulling you down into the seat next to him, and then he offerings you popcorn. 

“I can’t believe no one comes to movies on Wednesday at four,” you say, looking around the empty theatre and gnawing on the treat thoughtfully, “why do they even run-”

“Do I look like wikipedia to you?” Johnny asks, head lolling back as he tosses popcorn up into the air, catching it in his mouth.

He knows the answer though: It’s one of his friends working tonight, thats the only reason they have the inside scoop. Ten’s good on this sort of thing, and he’s a pretty funny worker, always letting Johnny in for free. 

Johnny’s pretty sure Ten charged you at the door even though Johnny told him you’d be showing up.

“What movie are we even watching?”

“Again with the questions,” Johnny laughs. “I don’t know, read the ticket.” 

He sets the popcorn down and pulls his ticket from his puffer, handing it to you.

For a moment you appreciate his outfit. The poofy jacket is a pretty blue colour and his backwards baseball cap is boyish in the cutest way possible. 

Your brows furrow as you read; “Pride and Prejudice (2005), what the-” 

Johnny’s lips press to yours and cut off your sentence. 

You’re a little shocked, but don’t pull away, which prompts the frat boy to kiss you harder. He moves the arm between your chairs up to get more space, then goes to cup your face. You groan a little when his teeth sink into your bottom lip, and he smirks against your mouth.

You push at his shoulder, “I can't believe you,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest as you sit in your chair.

Johnny laughs, “what?”

“We just met at the party and you kissed me on our first date, what kind of girl do you think I am?”

Johnny laughs. 

He thinks you’re the kind of girl who will spend hours playing mom friend and taking care of a drunk bestie.

He thinks you’re the kind of girl who will crawl onto a roof to save a man who’s nearing something like gremlin levels of mischief… who doesn’t even need saving.

Instead of saying either of these things, Johnny notes your anxiously bobbing leg and muses with a sigh, “I think you’re the kind of girl who asks too many questions and should just relax.” 

“Oh yeah?” you turn to look at him, realizing you’ve asked another question.

“Yeah.” Johnny’s eyes stay fixed to the screen, which plays dull trailers. 

“Here, let’s role play,” you say, rolling your eyes at the way Johnny perks up, “I’ll be you and you be me.” You change your voice to be deeper, “I’m Johnny, and I think everyone needs to just be chill and that every girl desperately wants to fuck me-”

“And I’m Y/N, the femme fetal haunting Johnny, making his life in the frat miserable and even prompting one of his best friends to lock him on a roof,” Johnny throws back at you. “And I try to hide how desperately I want to fuck Johnny just like all the other girls-”

“Screw you Suh, maybe I’ll just go find Lucas and figure out his secret myself. If you have girls lining up to go on dates with you it shouldn’t be hard to find another one to watch this movie with you.” 

Johnny chuckles, “still hung up on that secret, huh?” 

“Always.” 

Maybe he’ll finally tell you.

“Look, here’s the deal. The secret has to do with Lucas and a life skill he doesn’t have. If you really want to know the secret, you have to let me show you the life skill.” 

“A life skill,” you repeat, “like driving?”

“Something like that,” Johnny smirks, as if he’d ever make this easy on you. 

“Okay, I agree.”

“Great, now sit through this movie, be quiet, and afterwards we can go back to the frat so I can show you ‘the Lucas secret’.” 

“You’re the one who’s going to have to stay quiet during the movie,” you say, taking some popcorn he offers you without thinking too much about it. 

“Am not,” Johnny insists.

“Are too.”

“Silent game start now.”

Five minutes into the film he asks you if you think Mr. Darcy is sexier in this movie or ‘the other one’ as if the 1995 BBC adaptation is the only other version.

Johnny’s familiar shared room with Haechan greets you at dinner time. Johnny insisted on stopping for takeout on the way back from the movie, and he sets up a place for you to both eat. This is not a conventional first date, and you’re tired of treating it like one.

You kind of like the domesticity of it all, the way he pats his bed for you to sit down across from him. 

He’s gotten rid of his puffer now, and you can appreciate the simple crew neck underneath, it shows off his massive shoulders-

You talk about your majors, about how Johnny got into English of all things.

“A guy like you just doesn't look like an english major,” you say.

“That’s English major prejudice,” Johnny retorts with a mouth full of ramen, “english majors can be hot.”

“That’s why I was surprised you’re one.”

Johnny sets his food down, he was done with it anyways, and then he takes a sip of his water. 

“Take that back.” he says after swallowing. 

“No,” you set your chopsticks down, smirking at Johnny triumphantly.

“Okay, well, have some water then,” he offers you the bottle.

His behaviour is throwing you off.

It feels like the calm before a storm, but you just wish the tempest would just hit already- you’ve realized you kind of enjoy pestering the big man.

You enjoy his reactions.

“Why do I need water,” you ask as you take a sip.

“Because I’m about to fuck the shit out of you, and show you all the different ways that Lucas can’t make women cum.” 

“What?” you squeak, choking a little on your water as Johnny casually moves the food off the bed. 

“You heard me. I told you I’d show you the life skill Lucas fails at, this is it,” he says, heading over to the door to lock it. “Cut the shit, I know you enjoy being a brat,” he comes to stand at the foot of the bed, your entire body turned to face him. “You want a reaction, here it is. Drink your water and then tell me how you want it first, I’ll keep my cock for last, but now, you get to choose, tongue or fingers?”

You lick your lips. “Both.”

Johnny laughs. “A brat and she’s greedy,” he tuts. “Maybe you don’t deserve it.”

“I do.”

 Your voice is weak and Johnny grins when he hears it. How easy it is to make you putty in his hands. Where’s the fire? Have you seriously been all bark and no bite this whole time?

He watches as you lick your lips, swallowing thickly, “Also, if you’re going to show me all the different ways Lucas can’t make a girl cum, does that mean you’ll have to show me multiple positions?”

Johnny laughs, there’s the girl he knows. 

“If you want.”

“So maybe more than just tonight then?” you inquire, stepping closer to Johnny, who’s super turned on by the change in events. He kind of enjoys you fighting back, just as much as you enjoy getting a rise out of him. 

“Are you trying to lock down dick appointments, baby girl?” Johnny coos.

“You tryna deliver, hot shot?” you’re nearly chest to chest now. 

“I guess I can give you both to start,” Johnny concludes, going back to the original matter at hand.

Then he bends down to lift you up, pressing his lips to yours and easily carrying you to the bed. You grab his face, an angry molding of teeth and tongues, a groan leaving Johnny when you bite his lip sharply. 

He tosses you onto the bed and grabs the bottom of your pants. “Off,” he says, giving you just enough time to get your jeans unbuttoned before he’s tearing them completely from your body. 

You enjoy the aggression, the way his pupils are blown with lust- 

Johnny falls to his knees, hands dragging you towards his awaiting mouth. You watch the way he licks his lips, eyes focused on your core, “cute panties,” he pulls at the flimsy material, “looks like someone planned on getting laid tonight.”

“Yeah, just not with you,” you throw back at him, smirking when his eyes narrow.

“It’s like you want to be destroyed,” he says, nipping at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh.

You refuse to let a moan leave your lips although it bubbles up inside of you, body betraying how turned on you are even as your mind continues to want to fight the man between your legs.

“I do, so stop talking and get to it-” you reach down for his hair, and he smacks your hands away.

“No touching,” Johnny growls, fingers hooking in your panties and slipping them to the side. “So wet,” he smirks, thumb coming in contact with your clit as he spreads your slick around. His other hand pushes your thighs open wider to give him more space, his shoulders are just too damned large-

You hold your breath when Johnny moves closer, tongue taking its first test lick at your folds and making your toes curl. You grab onto the bed but it’s just not the same, so you reach for Johnny’s hair again.

“Did I not just tell you, no touching?” Johnny growls when he snatches your hands from the air, pinning them to your tummy as he looks up at you.

“I elected to ignore you,” you answer, toying the line playfully with a grin on your face.

You flex your hands, and both of you look down to his grip on your wrists. 

“You want to be tied up, don’t you, kitten?” Johnny asks, releasing your wrists.

You can’t believe he’s suggesting handcuffs this nonchalantly, as if they’re just a casual bedroom toy for a first date fuck.

You want him to ruin you.

He takes your silence as a yes and you watch Johnny stand up and head to his closet. He comes out again with a pair of handcuffs. Not nice fluffy pink ones, or silk ties- but real handcuffs. They look durable. They look legit. They make your pussy throb looking all hot in his large hands like that-

You’re practically drooling, remaining docile and submissive as Johnny gets on the bed, prompting you to raise your arms above your head by direct brushes of his fingers against your skin.

Once your arms are where he wants them, the english major handcuffs you to the bed frame.

You watch the cuffs click into place, locking you in.

“If you’re not having fun anymore and can’t use a safe word, just kick me or something,” Johnny says when he gets between your legs again. 

Now that you’re higher on the bed, he has to lay flat on his tummy to give his mouth access to your pussy, and you watch the way his hips grind down against the mattress. 

You wonder if he’s even doing it consciously, or if his body is just super high strung too, tired of all this tension, ready to be released-

“Kicking you sounds like a great idea,” you say, the fighting words leaving your lips as a second nature, even though you don’t mean them.

Johnny laughs a little, nuzzling his face against your thigh. “You better be nice to me, kitten,” he clicks his tongue, fingers touching the wet patch on your panties that has formed since he allowed the fabric to move back into place. 

“You promised to make me cum,” you point out, seeing your pleasure as pretty much a guarantee. 

“I did.” Johnny tears your panties in two- “I want to have you cumming until you’re crying for me to stop.” 

His mouth fully attaches to your pussy, tongue pressing into you. Your hands try to reach for Johnny only to be harshly stopped by cold metal, which is unforgiving as it bites into your wrists. 

A gasp leaves your lips when Johnny’s tongue flicks your clit.

“First I’ll make you cum like this,” Johnny says, voice low and sending vibrations through your core deliciously, “And when you’re cumming, I’ll give you my fingers and force out another orgasm just to teach you a lesson.”

Overstimulation. Bondage. Dom Johnny. Pet names. Tension-

He’s eating you out so vigorously that you can hear the slurping sounds. It’s the most you can do to lay there, back arching off the bed as your muscles constrict and you cum on his tongue, pulling against your restraints when Johnny slips two fingers into you, as he promised he would. 

Even as you cum, pussy pulsing with desire, Johnny continues his motions, fingers slamming into you roughly and creating new pleasure.

You’re not sure when one orgasm ends and the other begins, but you’re sure that Johnny has made you cum twice as he continues to work you despite your moans increasing in pitch. 

“Fuck, Johnny-” you nearly scream when his lips return with full force to your clit. 

Is he going to be this unrelenting the whole time? Two orgasms already? Can’t he just come up and kiss you?

His digits curl into you and your body shudders, caught in a liminal space where you’re coming down from your orgasm while simultaneously rising up to yet another one. 

You can hear your wetness on his fingers, a pathetic squelching sound makes your skin heat with embarrassment. 

“I need you,” you say, voice cracking.

The desperation is obvious, and it makes Johnny pull his mouth away from his prize, although his fingers continue. 

“I’ve only made you cum twice, baby,” he chuckles, “think of all the other ways I can make you cum.”

You groan, eyes closing as you rest your head back in the pillows.

You’re tied up and at his mercy. He has all the control- 

But his fingers just aren’t enough, not when you know for a fact that he’s packing.

Come on, a man this big? You’ve shamefully been considering his dick size for the past few days, and you’ve come to the conclusion that a happy seven incher would be nice, but he’s probably even bigger.

“Make me cum with your cock please?” 

The ‘please’ thrown on at the end shocks you both.

“Are you really that dick whipped for me already?” he grins, pulling his fingers out of you, “shameful.” 

His words make your skin flare with heat and embarrassment, and you keep your mouth shut as you watch his next move. 

Johnny adjusts to be kneeling between your legs, and he holds himself over you with one hand while the other brings his digits to your lips, “taste yourself for me,” he commands.

You look into his eyes as you accept his fingers into your mouth, swirling your tongue and hollowing your cheeks, doing your best to be as sinful as possible in an effort to test his patience. 

His lips are on yours the moment his fingers are gone, and your tongues clash for dominance. Your legs wrap around his waist tightly, forcing him to grind down against your exposed core. His blue jeans are an interesting texture, but not the one you want.

You pull against the handcuffs, groaning in frustration and sinking your teeth into Johnny’s lip. 

“Uncuff me,” you pout when he pulls away to give you a warning look.

“You bit me so I’d uncuff you?” he asks, sitting up and rubbing at his lip dramatically. 

Of course there’s no blood, it’s not like you’d bitten him hard… well, I mean, if he enjoys that sort of thing-

“Yes?” you look up at Johnny and he shakes his head at you. You’re half naked and he’s already made you cum twice. He has you in cuffs but you’re still in your shirt and bra, he hadn’t bothered to remove them, too eager to get to his meal-

Johnny reaches down and pushes the fabric up slowly, exposing a strip of your stomach.

You suck in a breath, staying still and watching the shirt rise higher and higher. Finally, he reveals your bra, letting your shirt go once it’s just under your arms. 

“I guess I will have to uncuff you to take this off,” he sighs, reaching out to touch the pretty bra you’d worn, “or I could cut it off” he pulls the strap and it harshly smacks back against your skin when he releases it a moment later.

“Cut it off?” the words make your heart race faster in your breast.

Johnny smirks, humming, “a knife, or scissors-”

“If you ruin this bra, Johnny Suh, I swear to god-”

“I already wrecked the matching panties,” Johnny reminds you, pulling them out of his back pocket to flash them in front of your face. Your hands are cuffed and you can’t even try to grab back the material. “It’s cute that you wore a set for me.” 

He tucks the lace back into his pocket. Then his hands both go to your waist, and he enjoys watching how large they are compared to you, how his long fingers look slowly going up and up until they’re brushing the underside of your bra.

“I told you,” you say, voice husky as you also enjoy the feeling of his fingers, “I didn’t plan on getting laid with you.”

“Stop lying,” one of his hands moves up to grab your throat, forcing you back into the pillows.

“Maybe,” you choke out, and he releases your neck enough for you to speak better, your smile widening, “you should actually fuck me and prove I’m here with the right guy.”

Two orgasms aren't enough for you it seems, and Johnny… honestly doesn’t mind? 

He’s loving this brat side of you, loving the banter-

“I think I’ll just have some more fun first,” he concludes, hands going to your bra and lifting it. He forces the uncomfortable band up and holds it there so he can attach his lips to your nipple.

Your back arches off the bed and moans leave your lips as Johnny’s free hand cups your other breast, warm and soft- until he’s pinching your nipple. 

“Johnny-” you whine, pulling against the handcuffs, “fuck-”

He stops pinching your nipple and you let out a breath- only to moan when two fingers slide inside of you again.

“Sometimes girls can cum just from their nipples being sucked,” Johnny says, looking up at you. “Should we see how long it takes for you to cum that way?”

You can’t believe him. 

“You can make me cum like that another time- but please-” you swallow thickly, “I need your cock.” 

This time, when Johnny looks up at you, he can see you’re broken fully. Can see the desperation in your eyes, all glassy and pretty-

Johnny realizes you’re so worked up that you’re on the verge of tears, and something snaps inside of his chest.

Is he being too mean to you? 

You watch quietly as Johnny sits up. He removes his fingers from your core, licking them clean before he reaches over to grab the keys to the cuffs, which are sitting on the bedside table- They’ve been taunting you this whole time.

Johnny uncuffs you, and all it takes is one free hand for you to go straight for his cock. You lean up to press kisses against his exposed neck as he undoes your other wrist, chuckling even as you squeeze him through jeans.

Of course you’re not broken yet, it had been a farce, a trick to get him to uncuff you.

He doesn’t mind.

Once both your hands are free, Johnny goes to get your shirt off completely. It feels good once you’re fully bare, even if Johnny is still completely clothed. You can change that for him.

“Take this off,” you plead, pulling roughly at his shirt before your hands go back to his zipper, getting it down-

Johnny sits up and you groan in frustration, missing his warmth, his smell-

Most guys strip quickly, but Johnny? You kind of love that he puts on a small show for you.

He reaches behind his head to bunch up the fabric near the nape of his neck, opting for that form of shirt removal as opposed to a normal ‘grab the hem and lift up’ style. You have to admit, you’ve seen videos of men taking their shirts off this way and been struck by how sexy it is, but with Johnny? 

You can feel yourself getting wetter just by watching.

Once his shirt is gone, his hands move down to his jeans, and you struggle to find time to appreciate his muscular form while also watching the movement of his hands eagerly.

You’d gotten his belt undone, the top button, and the zipper down, but you’re kind of happy that’s all you got to do- because now you get to watch Johnny strip.

His hair is messy and he looks gorgeous with his head tilted, watching you as he toys with the waistband of his jeans. 

Can’t he see that you’re practically foaming at the mouth with need for him? 

With wrists newly freed you reach for Johnny, making grabby hands to show him how badly you want him. 

You’re tired of verbally begging, but you don’t want him to smack your hands away if you actually touch him, no, grabby hands are the way to go.

He thinks it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen in his entire life, and as he looks down at you, he gets mad that you’re perfect for him. 

The tension in the air is addicting, and Johnny is done playing around. He has extreme patience, but you’re testing him, more than any girl before you ever has. 

Johnny decides he misses your lips, and needs a distraction, needs his eyes closed so his mind can stop thinking so much. 

When Johnny is situated between your legs again, lips back on yours, you’re not sure what you want to touch first. His pretty hair? Or maybe you want to cup his perfect, angular face? Or scratch at his back? You bet he has a gorgeous back, if his front is anything to go by. 

Wow, maybe you should touch his chest- or his abs-

Johnny pushes his jeans down and all your thoughts are forgotten, mind narrowing in on one thing and one thing only.

Your eyes are closed, his tongue still clashing against yours, but you can feel how large he is. Can feel when his cock slips against your wet entrance, his girth obvious as it slides between your folds. 

Then you’re pushing your hand between your bodies, grabbing his cock, and lining him up with you. 

“Fuck me,” you growl against his mouth, locking your legs behind his waist in an effort to get him to just push it in-

Johnny chuckles at the way you’re trying to use your legs. 

You’re so cute thinking he’s not about to decimate you. 

As if you need to ask.

Johnny has patience, but now that his cock is out? It’s go time for the six foot frat boy.

He slams into you fully, your walls stretching to accommodate his girth, and your finger nails dig into his shoulders while you gasp into his mouth. 

Johnny isn’t kissing you anymore, although your lips are close- instead, you’re looking into each other's eyes. You can feel his breath against your face, and each thrust makes him pant a little, your own squeaks and whimpers greeting his. 

“Fuck,” Johnny groans when you hike your leg higher on his hip, causing him to slide deeper, “you’re so fucking tight-”

“You’re just huge,” you tell him, smashing your lips to his again.

You love the way he takes your breath away. You love the bickering. You love the growls leaving his throat as his hips repeatedly slam into yours, cock head hitting deep spots that have your toes curling.

Johnny is holding himself up with his arms on either side of you, and he pushes himself up enough to be able to move one hand down to your clit.

His fingers light sparks that go shooting through your body from your pussy outwards, and a sinful whine leaves your lips in response. You pull at Johnny’s hair to earn a groan, and although a rumble does leave his chest, your motion has mostly just spurred him to rub your clit harder.

Why is it that every time you try to mess with him and make him desperate for you, he flips the tables and turns you into the melt? 

“Going to make you cum like this,” Johnny tells you, tearing his lips from yours only to move to your neck, marking your skin in love bites and kisses between his words, “And then I’ll make you cum just from my cock.”

“Promise?” you ask, pulling him away from your neck so you can look at his eyes. 

The sincerity in your expression brings back the warm feeling in his chest. 

“Promise” he confirms, sealing it with a kiss. 

Johnny’s motions on your clit have become too much for you to bear when combined with the brutal pace of his hips. Your whines get louder and higher, pussy clamping down on Johnny when you cum.

Johnny kisses you to eat up your moans, and he also has to distract himself from the way your warm walls are fluttering around him, the way you’re grabbing him so tightly he thinks you might never let go- he teeters on the edge and is honestly shocked that he doesn’t fall over with you, he’s too determined to make you cum one final time- 

Like he’d promised. 

When you come down from your high, Johnny allows his pace to go slower. He kisses your cheek, and for the first time, he doesn’t have a snappy one liner to throw at you. 

Well, that’s a lie.

He could say ‘ready for one more kitten?’, or maybe ‘bet you fucking loved that’, but one promise has made the entire mood change, and now, Johnny wants to make sure you feel good- he doesn’t want to degrade you anymore, he’s sure there will be time for bickering later-

Later. 

You’ll have to stay the night, he decides, as he looks at the way your hair spreads across his pillows-

You open your eyes and Johnny looks back at you, hand coming up to pet your face, waiting for you to say something.

You take a deep breath and smile like the cheshire cat as you wrap your arms tighter around Johnny’s shoulders, pulling him to your lips again. “Okay, now give me the next one.” 

The next one. 

The next orgasm he’s promised you.

Johnny laughs against your mouth, shaking his head a little even as he adjusts, “flip over-”

“No,” you hold him tighter, “like this… doggy me later.” You press a quick kiss to his lips, batting your eyelashes at him.

Johnny is so whipped for you- of course he folds to your wants immediately. Doggy be damned.

This whole time he’s been thrusting slowly, and now his pace begins to quicken again. He’s had his break, and he’s ready to work you up, ready to once again earn your moans and eat up your pretty sounds.

You cup his face, falling deep into these natural motions, lips moving against Johnny’s. There’s no need for words anymore. The tension is gone, now, all that’s left is the lust and passion. 

Johnny groans when you move your leg up his hip again. His own hand slips down to grab at your thigh, fingers digging into your flesh. 

His sounds turn you on more than anything you’ve ever heard before, low and deep, coming from his chest, vibrating through you at this close proximity. 

“Cum for me,” you whisper when you move your lips to Johnny’s neck, tangling your fingers in his hair to force him to give you access. You know he’s marked your own skin at least once tonight, and now you get to return the favour.

Johnny groans at your dirty words, loving the way they sound coming from you.

And the way you’re sucking on his neck- how the fuck did you find a spot that feels so good- 

Damn. Johnny’s not usually the type to accept hickeys, but hell, he’d let you do anything you want to him if you throw in a cute ‘please’ when asking.

“You cum first,” he groans out, eyes shutting as he enjoys the feeling of his high approaching.

“Then choke me.” 

He should just ask you to marry him. 

It’s that simple. 

He should just slip out of you, drop onto his knees on the floor next to the bed and beg you.

His fingers wraps around your throat and your eyes meet, his hand pushing you into the pillows. 

There’s something about your eyes, Johnny gets lost in them. He loves the way your hands come up to grab at his forearm, urging him to press tighter on your windpipe as his hips match the rough change of events.

You bite your lip to add even more stimulus as Johnny works you towards yet another orgasm. Your body feels like it’s on fire, this is the most buzzed you’ve been in- well, forever. 

Johnny knows when you’re about to cum, your whimpers reaching a crescendo that he puts a stop to by crashing his lips to yours. When you cum, you both cum while kissing. He doesn’t want his hand around your throat right now, instead, it goes to your face.

Your arms are wrapped around the back of his neck to keep him pressed to you too, as if both of you want some hold on the other incase one of you tries to pull away, without realizing that neither of you are going anywhere.

His hips are a steady force that prolong both of your orgasms.

When you’re both finished, and he stops thrusting, he stays inside of you for a while. You continue to kiss, and despite being tired from your orgasms, just being in Johnny’s arms makes you want to explode-

Johnny pulls away from you and you let out a whine, brows furrowing, pouting, making Johnny laugh. 

“Let me put on some pants or I’ll have to fuck you again,” he warns you.

“Would that be the worst thing in the world?” you ask, tempted to maybe just say fuck it and tell him to get back to the bed-

“Far from it,” Johnny says, pulling on a cozy looking pair of sweatpants. Then he tosses a shirt at you, “it would be the best thing, but” he collapses onto the bed next to you, “what if we watch a movie, and when it’s done, I’ll make you cum any way you want me to, as many times as you want.”

He watches you slip his shirt on, enjoying the way it looks on you. You’re officially his, he’s caught you and got you in a shirt, and he couldn’t be happier about it. Okay, officially is not the right word, but, come on, Johnny’s never had a girl walk away from him before- you won’t be the first.

You look at Johnny and his gorgeous back, exposed as he lays on his stomach on the bed. 

Wow, he got a sappy romance historical drama Jane Austen movie to play in the empty movie theatre for your date, took you home, made you cum four times, and now he’s also offering Netflix and more sex.

He’s whipped for you. A big puppy boy. 

You could get used to this.

“Sounds good to me,” you say, watching Johnny sit up and grab a laptop from next to the bed. 

Then he’s next to you, shoulder to shoulder. 

“And you’re staying the night,” the frat boy tells you, wrapping his arm around you to pull you tightly to his side. 

“I am?” you ask.

“Yes.”

“Well… you do know that if I don’t call Haechan or Mark, one of them might storm in here-” 

“Haechan.” Johnny sits up suddenly, remembering that he does, in fact, have a roommate. 

Johnny had bribed Haechan with a hundred dollars to give him the room for after your date, but, it’s been a while- “now that you mention it, someone definitely should have banged on that door with how loud you were being.”

“Me being loud?!” you shove at his chest. “Screw you, next time I’ll be quiet-”

“Liar, your sounds are cute. I just mean usually whenever someone has a girl over, the guys will go give them a hard time if they’re too loud-”

Loud. 

Noise. 

A frat house. 

Four of your best friends living here- you really hadn’t even thought much about Doyoung, Taeyong, Mark or Haechan when you’d arrived.

You’d been too wound up by being near Johnny, who seems to have this effect on you-

You both reach for your phones to check if you have messages from anyone-

Of course you have about 100+ missed calls/messages on multiple chats. 

Your eyes go to your PHILOSOPHY chat, which includes your four frat friends. Haechan has changed the group name multiple times, but Doyoung (ever the literalist), always brings it back to what your chat was created for and renames it back to it’s original. 

Haechan: check your phone 

Haechan: check  your phone

Haechan: check your phone

Doie: jesus, who are you even TALKING TO?!?!?

Haechan: the one of us getting laid right now who do you THINK?

MORK: someones getting LAID?

Haechan: Y/N is you stupid

Haechan: with JOHNNY

Haechan: HE PAID ME TO NOT GO TO THE ROOM FOR A WHILE AND THEY’VE BEEN IN THERE FOR HOURS

Haechan: where the fuck are you three anyways, why is the frat so empty right now?

Doie: we’re at the basketball game Haechan. We told you we’d be here.

Taeyongie: Jae just scored

Doie: he got a hoop*

Taeyongie: he scored

Doie: he got a hoop*!!!!

Taeyongie: just come to the game Haechan

Haechan: fine, but once they’re done being NASTIES, i have to SLEEP IN THAT ROOM!

Doie: sucks to be you

⇢ Synopsis : a movie theater date with your boyfriend doesn’t go according to.. well, normal. 

⇢ Warnings (18+) : exhibitionism, hand jobs, oral (m receiving), public sex, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, mirror fucking, degradation, praise, mentions of daddy kink, etc...

 ⇢ Word Count: 500 words

⇢ access the full 2.4k exstension through patreon

When Johnny invites you to a movie on Wednesday, you don’t think too much of it. In the near year you’ve been dating, you’ve gone to many movies, and today will be no different-

Or so you think.

The film starts off like any other would; the theatre is mostly empty, and you get some of the best seats in the house. 

It’s about ten minutes into the movie that Johnny’s hand finds your bare thigh. 

This isn’t out of the ordinary at all, and you’d worn a skirt to give your boyfriend access to you- on days you’ve worn jeans to movie dates, he’s simply made do, and you’ve learned not to bother putting much in the way of his greedy fingers-

Besides, you’re already aching for him, having known his fingers would be coming at any minute- and you can’t wait to cum too.

But today, Johnny doesn’t immediately push your panties to the side to burry two large fingers deep in your core- instead, he rubs at the fabric covering your slit, relaxing back in his chair almost lazily, with his eyes fixed to the screen.

Every time he swirls his fingers up around your clit, you want to moan loudly, and after a solid two minutes of waiting for Johnny to just do something, you take matters into your own hands, literally.

Grasping at Johnny’s wrist allows you to keep him exactly where you want him, and you grind down, stifling a gasp at how good actual pressure feels-

Your boyfriend tears his hand away from you with a click of his tongue, and you turn your glare to him, hating the way he continues to stare straight ahead, ignoring you.

“Johnny-”

Now it’s your turn to grab onto his thigh-

The fratboy finally looks at you, jaw set like a challenge, his powerful stare making your heart lurch even in the darkness of the theatre.

Taking a breath, you square your shoulders, a defiant expression forming on your face. You’ve always been a brat, and you’re not going to start being a ‘good little sub’ today, especially without any promises of-

“Make it through the movie for me like a good girl, and I’ll reward you,” Johnny says lowly, and part of your brattiness subsides, if even for a moment, at the notion of reward-

But you want him now!

You move your hand higher on his thigh, breaking into a grin when you find his cock already pressing against the denim of his jeans. 

Your boyfriend lets a hiss of air out through his teeth when you adjust your grip on his length, clawing at the fabric of his pants in an attempt to get better leverage-

Then Johnny shifts, a hand latching firmly around your wrist.

Usually when you’re in public, you’re the recipient of his exhibitionist tastes, and not the other way around.

“If you’re going to do that type of shit here,” he warns lowly, “you’ll have to be on your knees.”

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[ruinaimagines]

If I can request something completely off the wall, some HCs for greta (and if it fits the rest of the ensemble) trying their damndest to do something completely ordinary.

Like imagine you're a store clerk and 9 stars of the city and a colour arrive to by bread, juice concentrate, and half the deli section.

Hi okay so I love this idea and know I am going to have an extreme amount of fun with it. The moment you said Greta I was absolutely fully in, I love her so much. I hope you don’t mind that I went with the store clerk concept too, it just seemed way too good to pass up this opportunity. Always feel free to request more stuff like this, it's way too enjoyable.

The Reverberation Ensemble Attempting to Buy Groceries:

Greta had a miserable idea one day, miserable for everyone else that is. It came as no surprise that the Ensemble had never been really close with one another. Sure, some people may have been more fond of each other than others, but there was no real sense of community bringing them together. Honestly, even their goals for joining happened to be a bit contradictory, it’s quite impressive they managed to work out as far as they have.

But they’ve come quite a long way, why not call for a celebration of sorts? Nothing too big, but it could also double as a meeting of sorts to discuss future plans. Plus, you have a famous chef of the City, it’s only natural for Greta to cook something for the other ensemble members at some point.

Argalia agreed to the idea. If they were all going to fight to the death in the library after all it would be nice to at least get to know each other a bit better. Plus, who could say no to some food?

Alright, so they’re going to have a big dinner, what’s the issue with that? Well it’s not the feast that’s the problem, it’s the preparation that is. Greta also insisted on shopping for the ingredients together as it would give a sense of ‘companionship’ and ‘participation’ in the final result.

Unsurprisingly, the only actual person who was absolutely down for it from the getgo was Oswald, and he just wanted to witness the chaos. Everyone else sort of was just stilled, as if she dropped some giant reveal on them.

Even Tanya, who was probably one of the closest members to Greta, doubted the idea. She’d be willing to go with her, but it seemed a bit too much to take along every single member.

Greta continued to persist on the idea. It was either everyone lends a hand, or there’s no meal. The decision was up in the air for a while until Argalia made a settlement of sorts.

He said that it could be fun to go along with, and he wasn’t missing out on the chance for this dinner. That it would also be good to expand upon their bonds and ‘teamwork’.

Basically it was just his really dramatic and charismatic way of saying ‘hey guys im hungry you’re coming with I’m not risking this’. It honestly sounded like a whole persuasive essay to go to the grocery store.

Because he sided with Greta, Pluto and Eileen had no issue coming along too. From this, Tanya also agreed because it was better to get it out of the way, and each member of Bremen was excited to dine on Greta’s food once more.

Jae-heon and Elena were a bit more stubborn, mainly because they just thought the idea was ridiculous. Even if they didn’t verbally say it, you can tell just from the look in their eyes. Problem is that they’re outnumbered, so they’ll likely have to go along.

And for Philip, well, he was pretty indifferent about the whole thing.

So say you’re this poor store clerk. You’re finishing up your shift, overall the day has just been pretty neutral and insignificant. People come and go, there’s maybe some brief small talk, and you’re left alone again until the next customers.

But then there’s this oddly conspicuous van that just pulls into the parking lot as it starts getting late. It’s a bit off putting but I mean hey, not like you’re being paid to care about it.

And then not one, not two, not three, but TEN PEOPLE step out of this car. You’re equally horrified and impressed, because on one hand, why are 10 people buying groceries, and on the other; how do they all fit into that car. It seriously must be cramped.

So you’re preparing to be robbed or something when this… shark, wolf, and skeleton, as well as a clown walks in???? And that’s not even the start of it. But they don’t even acknowledge you, they're just… shopping.

You’re filled with a sense of dread, but your existence is acknowledged by the shark lady who greets you with a smile and grabs a basket. And then she just goes back to her business.

So we have the Blue Reverberation buying eggs in the refrigerated aisle, being careful that his giant scythe doesn’t cut someone's ankles or take out a shelf. He seems to be inspecting and weighing which brand he should buy really intently.

And then we have this shady and awkward guy in the back with a metal… head? And multiple eyes? He’s just kinda watching everyone do stuff and standing really uncomfortable and you kinda feel bad because he’s reminding you of an anxious middle schooler.

There’s a lady standing next to him too. You’re guessing she’s one of the bloodfiends you’ve heard about in the papers judging from her appearance. She has an unamused look, and you can vaguely hear her talking about eating people??

Tanya is grabbing things desperately like it’s the purge, thinking that if she completes her part of the grocery list she can get out of there quicker. Problem is she keeps accidentally snapping the vegetables in half and bruising the fruit. Greta yells at her from across the store that the ingredients need to be in good condition. She has to go back and pick out half of the stuff on her list again.

Philip is one of the only people who’s shopping normally.

Apparently Oswald has never been in a store before because he’s distracted himself with all the different types of food there is. He picked up a dragon fruit and is staring at it like it’s some mythical object.

He also is on the verge of tears for no reason. No one made a joke, no one interacted with him, but he still looks like he’s gonna start cackling. He keeps getting closer to the other ensemble members, and they’re trying to get away. They do not want to know what he is up to.

Pluto is over by Argalia in the dairy section. He’s explaining the various types of cheeses, and how they’re perfected and created through a long and patient period of time. Argalia is completely zoned out, he is picking up on nothing, but he nods and pretends like he is.

Bremen is falling apart. None of them can agree on which bundle of spring onions is better quality. It’s starting to turn into a heated argument, and the volume of their argument is starting to compete with the constant buzzing noise of the store.

Greta is in complete harmony and comes over to help the three. She praises them on their individual judgements, and helps them find the perfect collection of the vegetables.

I wanna say Eileen is also competent, but there’s just something off about it. She’s been staring at the baked goods for a while now. Just standing still with her hands resting in front of her in her long white dress.

It’s probably the fact that she’s BAREFOOT in the BREAD AISLE. Seriously, put the flippers away?? It takes a minute to notice but dear lord are you scared when you do. That’s the most terrifying thing you’ve seen so far. You can handle the color fixer, you can handle the stars of the city, but her ground slappers are making you want to call an association.

You’re starting to think this is some never-ending nightmare when at last everyone seems to have come to a mutual conclusion that they’ve gotten what they’ve come for.

You’re kind of praying that they actually just steal everything and run out the place, but clearly that isn’t their intention as they all turn towards you and form an unholy line.

You’re doing everything in your ability to check all the products out and keep it brief. Speaking of which, who needs this much cheese?? They might as well have rented out the dairy aisle like a venue because there is no reason for there to be this much.

Also there’s just an ungodly amount of meat from the deli aisle. They even picked up… alligator??? You didn’t even know that was something you could purchase, who’s farming alligator?

You’re starting to think that this is some hallucination as you pass the last item through the scanner after an excruciating long period of silence. You’re gonna have to ask management for more bags because almost all of them are gone.

The bill is so high and you’re kind of terrified to tell them it. Greta starts fishing something out of her pocket and hands you a single coupon code that’s supposed to save like 10 cents on any purchase.

Argalia walks up to the front and throws a case of money in front of you. You’re starting to feel like you’re partaking in some illegal dealings, and just nod and accept the amount of Ahn you were given.

That was the last you’ve seen of them, and Greta was off to make the absolute best dinner anyone could wish for.