#if i woke up and thought that other people dont matter as much as me

[dvasva]

I have a sincere question.

How will not voting for Biden help? Threatening not to hasn't worked to make him do anything to stop this monstrosity and I'm sure Trump will be (however slightly) worse.

I'm just wondering what you're proposing as a solution here? Are you just saying that it's selfish or something to care about how much worse things will get in the us while there's a genocide going on, or is there some alternative to voting for Biden that will actually help because I want to help whatever I can to stop the genocide.

/genuine

I'm gonna be genuine and honest when I say this; at this point, if you don't already dislike Biden and feel the same way I do, I doubt anything I will say will convince you one way or another, and I can tell your question is coming from this fearmongering rhetoric that was born during the 2020 election of 'Vote Blue no matter who', that I didn't agree with back then and I definitely don't agree with now.

I'm gonna level with you right up top, answer your question first, tell you what I think about all of this, even though it's not the most cheery thing. I don't think there's anything that will make things better. I think we are living in a rotting corpse that is like at most 6 months away from exploding from the built up pressure of gasses. I honestly don't know why you even asked me of all people. I can only really support community outreach, community building and mutual aid to mitigate the inevitable harm this whole clusterfuck, either way, will cause to the most vulnerable people, and can only urge you to do the same. We cannot have any political action until people start building community outside of online spaces. That is the biggest flaw of modern leftist political praxis, the lack of community. This is why the college protests are fantastic, because it is a small scale general strike amongst students, with people organizing and providing mutual aid to make organizing easy for the most amount of people possible. That's my solution. Mutual aid.

And, despite how I feel about questions like this, (especially considering aside from a few replies in various posts, and a generally active reblog and tag life about Palestine and Biden, I haven't made any original posts about this and I'm like... a rando with like less than 200 followers, so it's weird that you're coming to me with this question) I will treat this like a genuine question.

That being said, I did vote for Biden in 2020, despite my reservations. So, anything that happened during his presidency puts blood on my hands as much as anything.

I'll kind of start with saying that I am a hispanic, mexican, nonbinary person with a uterus and disabilities from Texas. My current governor is Greg Abbot and a lot of the most heinous conservative bills and debates regarding immigration, police, free speech, lgbt issues, abortion, etc, have taken place in my state where I live, and I am distantly related to Linda Coffee, one of the Roe v. Wade lawyers.

So, I'm not like. Some cishet white guy from Wisconsin who has never seen or witnessed oppression and who doesn't have any stake in any of this, and thinks the edgiest thing I can do is not participate in the system.

I come at this issue from multiple angles, and these are not like... the official political opinions of everyone who has ever agreed with me, this is just mine.

To start with, 1. I'm still voting in local and state elections, and 2. I don't believe in rewarding bad behavior. You said 'Threatening to not vote for him hasn't done anything to change his behavior' and so I'm going to carry through with my threat. Consequences and all that. Not that it really matters what I vote in presidential elections anyways. I live in Texas, a winner take all state. As we have seen multiple times, the popular vote is meaningless, and the only thing that matters is the electoral college. Texas is gerrymandered to all hell, and it's districts are drawn in a way that will always favor republicans. Until our corrupt ass state can finally manage, by some fluke, to vote in a non-republican who is actually willing to redistrict the state and prevent gerrymandering (which they wont do cause they're all chickenshit), all of Texan electoral college votes will go to the Republican candidate. I know we're not supposed to say our vote doesn't matter cause 'every little bit helps' but my vote literally does not matter in a real, tangible, way.

I know a lot of people are scared of having their rights stripped away, sure, but none of you have listened to POC, especially to POC living in southern states. All of this stuff that Trump is threatening? The more police, the border stuff, anti-trans bills, abortion? It's already happening in this country. I don't have abortion rights, I don't have freedom of speech on college campuses, I don't have a right to form a new union, I don't have trans rights, and if the police wanted to, they could pull over anyone in my family and arrest and deport them simply because of the color of their skin, regardless if they're actually an immigrant or not. Cop Cities are popping up around the world, the police is militarized and think it's ok to violently arrest peaceful protesters on college campuses. Meanwhile, the rich keep getting richer. Rafah was invaded last night, tanks placed on the border preventing anyone from leaving into Egypt anymore, and all the while the richest fuckers in this entire country, many of whom have voiced open and intense support for Israel, all met up with their tickets that cost 75k to take pictures in their pretty outfits and ignore the ongoing genocide.

All of this stuff is already happening regardless of who's in charge, and the only difference between Trump and Biden, to be honest? Northern Liberals will actually care about what's happening if Trump is in office. If Trump did everything that Biden did, there would be mass outrage about Palestine from every single Vote Blue No Matter Who person who's around. It's easy to blame the people whose rights have already disappeared for the threat that your rights might disappear as well. This Vote Blue No Matter Who thing is a cry for comfort. It is the people who are not feeling the effects of the crumbling empire we live in crying out, screaming 'Let me feel the comfort for a little bit longer, I don't want to be subjected to the things that others are already subjected to! I just want to be comfortable for a little bit longer!' And I honestly am not interested in voting for white northern comfort just because the other guy is threatening to take that away too.

And you are right. I do think it's selfish to try to focus on your own comfort while ignoring the active genocide of Palestinians, the ethnic cleansing being done with American Money, the thing that puts blood on every taxpayers hands, a true example of Taxation without Representation. Palestine is not the sacrificial lamb that we are entitled to trample over to ensure that we are comfortable. To think so is so monstrously dehumanizing, to say 'I can't focus on that cause I have to worry about me' while actively funding it. That's the biggest catching point for me. We have a responsibility to oppose Biden, to not vote for him and to actively call for him to step down and allow a different person to run, if not dismantling the system entirely, because this blood is on our hands.

Other people have said a lot more clever things about this than me, but Palestinian oppression is directly linked to all oppression around the world. Police in the US train with IOF soldiers, use the same methods on american citizens as IOF use on Palestinian citizens. This is not a case of 'two random countries that have nothing to do with us duke it out'. Israel is acting with the direct and explicit blessing of Joe Biden and the United States Government. He is, even for the standards of Democrats who like to say pretty words while bombing brown people, a warmonger. Like, violently so. Biden is legitimately more dangerous than anyone is giving him credit for, and is actively and openly funding blatant and obvious war crimes. That should honestly get him arrested and tried in an international criminal court.

Anyhow, that's all that from an American perspective. If you wanna really figure out what to do to help, seek out voices who actually know what they're talking about instead.

I recommend Imani Barbarin:

Also, check out my pinned post for ways you can provide a bit of support or learn more about the active ongoing genocide and ethnic cleansing of Palestine.

Especially check out Esims for Gaza. Aid has been inconsistent at best, but if you can't find anything else to do, send esims to help keep Palestine connected to the world.

[lepidopterium]

xx!!!!

[billkaulitzwife]

The Outsiders Coping With a Breakup

(ps guys im not over it leave me alone(i also watched the notebook and i hate myself))

Ponyboy

Reading or writing.

How could you ever hurt this little freshman boy he‘s such a sweetheart

He would probably silently cry into a pillow until he thought his lungs were about to collapse or cave in

if this was now … he‘d chain smoke and listen to lana del rey while looking out a moonlit window

he definitely listens to Elvis to get over it.

I don’t know what exactly he would read to get over it but probably some sad ass Edgar Allan Poe. Annabelle Lee lookin ass.

He‘d write the most heart breaking

tear dripping

heavy breathing sad poetry ever.

show him a romance novel.

he’d never stop reading them until he got over it.

just the bare thought of it drives him nuts.

so he reads.

Johnny

if you hurt this man he would probably hurt himself.

he would dream bout it and wake up in cold sweats, tears running down his face.

in all honesty

i think he‘d be artistic with it

he’d somehow turn each and every single tiny thought into something about you

whether it be thinking about a teddy bear then contorting it into nothing but an image of you and him.

he would never be able to look at the places you went together the same.

he would be an artist.

hand him a pencil and he’ll make your heart break and ache.

might etch and sketch on himself to see if you still care.

ps you obviously do.

Dallas

Doesn’t know how.

All this man does is sleep, drink, fuck, repeat.

being honest this manwhore is probably gonna screw every hoe in Tulsa to try and get his mind off of it,

but every path leads back to what he knows best.

he would smoke more,

party more,

drink away all his problems, etc before facing a problem head on.

people may see him as this

uhh

violent gang member hoodlum kid guy man

but deep down hes really just a kid who wishes he couldve given his momma one more hug

a kid that needed to be loved.

a kid that was never taught how to be loved.

Adelaide

crier.

she’s a big ol’ crier, but it doesnt matter since thats not the only way she copes.

she loves to paint and puts every emotion into her paintings.

she may’ve become a kleptomaniac since she needs the supplies.

the curtis boys would

PERSONALLY

kill you if anything happened to her

one heartbreak and shes done for

love? whats that? it isnt real?

dont hurt her no matter what.

she would also turn to cigarettessss (as if she doesnt smoke enough).

adelaide would develop stage five lung cancer before even admitting that love could in the slightest exist anymore.

Sodapop

working.

soda seems like the kinda guy to go through a breakup and cry a lot

but the only thing that really helped was work.

he’d probably get a raise

yk with how hard and how much he’d be working to get over it.

his siblings would warn him about not overworkimg himself

and guess what.

he didnt listen and got really sick from all the stress.

i know for a fact he would keep away from cigarettes even if someone said they help and he believed it

he would only ever listen to the radio

hoping and praying that when he’d hear a love song he‘d hear your voice

Darrell

probably the most sane of everybody while dealing with his bs

he wld obviously be heart broken

but not to the point he needed some insane coping mechanism.

he would probably meditate.

i mean this is the sixties cmon he’s either gonna do wxxd

or meditate.

as soon as a thought of you came up and his mind started to panic he would sit on the couch and

well.

relax.

he probably has the healthiest coping mechanism he’s definitely got his life together

the others are jealous as fuuuuck

Steve

bro wouldnt eat.

every time he thought about the breakup

he thought it was because he was strong enough

or that he was too chubby for his girl.

one time he passed out while on the way to work and the gang freaked out so bad

they couldnt take him to the hospital so they carried him home and stuck a juice box in his mouth

eventually his ass woke up and they all cheered like the war had just ended “HIP HOORAY!”

but then in all seriousness

he needed to get his weight back up so the curtis kids make him eat at their house

even if he says he ate.

theres always snacks for him laying around thay house from then on out

Two-Bit

drinking.

do i have to explain.

in the novel pony said two-bit was famous for shoplifting and his black-handled switchblade…

but for some reason i know he wouldnt shoplift any more.

(he sure did teach adelaide how to tho)

along with his love for “shopping” you gotta remember he’s a heavy alcoholic

he’d drink away all of his problems and thoughts until he blacked out.

his buddies would think its just your average keith

but in all reality he’s really struggling

even though he seems like the usual drunk happy joking guy

HE IS HURTTT.

okay thanks for watching todays vlog

if u ever need to vent please dont be scared to message me bruv im sure Ik how to help.

[adventuringblind]

I remember you

Max Verstappen x driver!reader

Genre: sad with a happy ending

Request: yes! I hope you like it as much as I do! I’m open for Max, Charles, Lando, Oscar, Daniel, George, Pierre, and poly relationships. Don’t be shy I don’t judge. I promise.

Summary: Max and reader have been pining after each other for awhile now but haven’t confessed. When an accident changes everything, Max fears he may have missed his change.

Warnings: major accident, description of injuries, pining,

Notes: written in third person

Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feeling hurt if you ignor this but I wanted to put it out there.

Masterlist

She’d managed to get the second seat at Redbull. She gets along well with her teammate and she’s managing to keep up with him. Her team is first in the constructors championship. Life couldn’t have been better for her. Until the smoke filled her nostrils and the orange tried to lick at every part of her.

Her road was filled with hard work and she was so proud of herself for making it this far. Starting with alphatauri and finally getting the second Redbull seat.

Her and Max had been friends since she started in formula 1. Though it was obvious there was more to their friendship then they would confess to themselves or each other. Everyone teased them about it. But neither had been able to confront those feelings.

Her having to deal with the already male dominated sport and being asked ridiculous questions. Him defending his title and struggling with how to communicate emotions.

The way the two drove together in sync. Trusting each other to make the right calls. It was a testament to the connection between them.

Outside the track the talked often. Pushing each other, encouraging one another, it was a sight to see for every party involved.

“Are you ever going to confess to her?” Daniel asked Max one afternoon.

Max looked longingly across the garage where you were talking to your engineers. “But things are already so good. I don’t want to ruin it and I’m not sure she feels the same.”

“I just hope you don’t regret it one day, mate.”

It wasn’t even a day later that Max realized Daniel had been right.

~

She was set to place second, the race closer then you would’ve liked with a few laps to go. She’d been aggressively defending from the Mercedes behind her.

The Mercedes switched to trying an overtake on the outside. The proximity to her far too close for her liking. She thought she’d be given the space. She overestimated.

The confusion quickly over took her senses. One minute she was driving on the track and the next she was spinning. It was so fast she hadn’t even realized her car was in the air. The force of the impact was so great at one point she lost consciousness.

She woke up to her ears ringing and heat dancing around her skin. People screaming her name. She needed to move but couldn’t. The halo of the car had been bent in odd directions, preventing a her from an easy escape.

She tried to keep her panic away but But it was getting harder to breath and the heat was getting more intense. She tried pushing herself a little further out. Grasping at anything that could help her.

She could vaguely hear a familiar voice screaming her name. The copper taste in her mouth getting stronger. Then a hand. Trying to pull her out of the intensifying heat.

Hazy sky started to come into view. Her body trying to succumb to the darkness once again. But his blue eyes wouldn’t let her. Her body limp as he dragged her away from the danger. Why was he so sad? Hadn’t he won the race?

His mouth was saying words she couldn’t hear. Moving her. Trying his best to keep her awake.

Then he was being pulled away. Fighting whoever it was trining to take him away from her. She didn’t want him to leave. Screaming at him not to let her go. It felt that the farther away he got the more her body hurt. The heat pulling her back in again. Hands lifting her back to the sky. She wanted Max back. The cloudiness of her mind clearly picturing him.

It didn’t take long for the darkness to come back.

~

“How’s she doing” asked Max. It was near the end of the race and he knew she was fighting to keep second.

“She’s fine, just focus on bringing it home.” Came GP’s voice through the radio.

He couldn’t help but check his mirrors every few seconds. Concerned at how close the Mercedes was getting to her car. But he knew she was a fighter and wouldn’t give up easily. He smiled while thinking about her. Maybe Daniel was right. He always talked about living with no regrets.

He’d decided. He would tell you after the race. After she won her fight.

Then it all changed to fast. He saw it happen. Her tire being hit at the perfect angle to send her flying. Tumbling through the gravel. The fire already seen and she hadn’t stopped spinning yet.

He held his breath as he waited. The red flags already out.

“Is she okay GP?” His voice came out panicked. He couldn’t lose her yet. Not before he got to tell her how he feels.

“We don’t know yet.”

His car was pulled over before he could get any farther. Getting out at an inhuman speed and sprinting to where to crash had been.

Her car was melded to the barriers. Halo shifted in odd directions. Fire consuming most of the area at this point. The Marshalls doing their best to put it out.

He knew he was being reckless but he didn’t car. She needed to get out. He could vaguely see her body dangling through the flames.

Max ran over and immediately was trying to grab for her. The Marshalls making to attempt at stopping him. Only spraying where his arms were to help him get her out of the car.

He felt her move. Shoving herself forward. Trying to connect her hand to his. Until finally, they managed.

The heat was becoming unbearable even for him. He quickly tried to pull her body from the car. Weaving her away body through the dented halo. Dragging her farther away from the smoke when he managed to get her out.

He snapped his helmet off, getting breath back into his lungs. Then he snapped off hers. He was yelling her name. Hopefully giving her senses something to hold on to.

Her eyes found his and he immediately was crying in relief. Holding her in his hands. Assessing the damage to her body.

It didn’t take long for the Marshalls to pull him away. Trying to get her into the medical vehicle so they could help her.

He fought them. Every rational part of his brain gone. Needing to stay with her his only priority. Even more so as she reached for him. Softly saying his name. Coughing violently as she did so. Tear staining her cheeks.

Daniel had run to him in the track. Gripping his shoulders and checking over him. Max’s mind was spinning though. Daniels words falling in deaf ears as he led Max away.

Even as they got back to the garage, Daniel didn’t leave. Concern for his friend keeping him posted at his side.

Max did end up winning the race. Only to stand on the podium missing you.

He barely remembers anything about it. Spacing out when Christian drove him to the medical center. The two waiting for any word on the female drivers condition.

Max saw the way blood had pulled into her mouth as she tried to speak to him. The image burned into his brain.

He wanted- no- needed to see her.

So when the doctor finally called her name, he nearly fell over from standing up so fast. The doctor listed every injury she sustained. Including that of major head trauma. Possibly hindering her ability to race ever again.

Max’s hand flew to his mouth. A nausea inducing feeling settling into his stomach. Christian sighed heaving as the doctor walked away. Leaving the two of them be.

“I know it’s hard, but I’ve had to watch you to pine after each other for years. I need you to be strong for her right now. She needs you now more then ever.”

Max could only nod his head. Steeling himself for whatever she needed from him.

As the two walked down to where she was staying, a room in the ICU, he almost cried at the sight. Both in relief and pain for her.

White bandages cover places around her jaw, arms, hands, and chest. Mostly for the burns, a little for her bones. There was a cast around her knee where they had to pop it back into place.

Machines let out a steady beeping sound and wires ran around her bed. A nurse talked her vitals motioned for them to enter.

“She called for someone every time she was awake.” The nurse stated. “It was mumbled but they think the name was Max.”

Christian glanced at Max briefly before turning to look back at the nurse. “Thank you.” Then the nurse turned and left. Leaving them with the sound of their breathing and beeping machines.

Christian patted Max on the shoulder. “I’m going to see how everyone at the garage is doing and report the news.”

Only Max remained at her side. Gently kissing her bandaged hand. Exhaustion taking over his body at some point and falling asleep. His head placed softly next to her.

He woke up an hour to the sound of beeping, only it wasn’t as steady this time. He looked at the woman beside him trying to asses if she was ok. He calmed when he saw her soft smile. Her eyes lighting up at seeing him.

He smiled back. The joy at seeing her awake setting in.

“I don’t remember much, but I remember you.” She rasped. “And I remember loving you for a long time.”

The realization hit him when the doctor meant by head trauma. However, in this moment the girl he loves is alive and just claimed to be in love with him.

“This is actually the first time you’ve said it, but I have also loved you for a long time. And I’ll continue to love you even if you want nothing to do with me.”

He’d help her through this. Even as both of them sat their crying. Then talking about life. He watched her smile through the pain and determined that he never wanted to see you without it again.

[myluvrrhea]

Hi, can you write damian x reader (likely grumpy x sunshine) about reader being cuddly and all that stuff and shes like afraid to come as clingy. One night she's reading all the comments about her being like that and decided to reduce her affection and damian notices

Heavenly

Pairings - Damian Priest x Fem!Reader

warnings - Reader feeling insecure about herself , Fluff at the end tho! , kinda angsty at the beginning

word count - 0.6k

NOT PROOFREAD

Gif not mine !!!

You and Damian were the complete opposite. While Damian was mostly dark and gloomy , you on the other hand were sunny and energetic. You were the sunshine to his moon. And although you two at first glance may be opposite to each other, you two understood each other like no other man or woman could.

You often found yourself cuddling and kissing Damian very frequently. But Damian never had a problem with the way you showed love , as he often reciprocated it by giving you small gifts , kisses , anything he could do from time to time to show how much you meant to him.

But as time went by , you noticed how Damian could grow distant , and sometimes dismiss your touches. It didn’t affect you that much , I mean he had things ti do. He was a wrestler after all.  It didn’t affect you until now though. While scrolling on TikTok , you found a slideshow of someone expressing how annoyed they were at your touches with damian. Calling you clingy, and over all too much with him. You felt the tears roll down your cheeks as you read the comments. The words you read made you feel like you did need to stop being clingy towards him. And so you did

The following day , you hadn’t been and clingy towards him. Usually you were always hugging and embracing him , but instead you sat quietly as he did what he needed to do. He felt confused about your lack of affection, but thought you might have been tired. After all you had just had a  match against becky lynch.

It had been a week since you and given the affection that you usually do. Damian was confused but decided not to question it , thinking something had happened during the week that you might’ve not wanted to talk about it. Neither the less he was determined to figure out how to get you back to normal. He wanted his girl back.

Damian woke up to the sound of you talking to someone on the phone. He checked the time which read 3:14am. Why would she be up this late? He thought to himself. He walked to where he heard your voice which eventually led him to the bathroom. He went to grab the doorknob , but was confused when he heard the words that came out your mouth.

“Yeah I dont know Rhea I just feel too clingy for him , I mean , the comments and videos show that. Yeah…,” he heard silence until you spoke again.

“I dont know I feel like I might be too much for him— I just dont wanna scare him off thats all,” You replied back to her.

A couple minutes later he heard you say a quick goodbye as you hung up the phone. You opened the doorknob and expected Damian to be sound asleep in the bed but unexpectedly, you found him   On the other side of the door.

“Hey…” you said trying to ease the nervousness. “Calm down he probably heard nothing” you said in your head. But Damians facial expression said otherwise. He wore a frown  as his eyebrows were pushed together. Withought warning , he pulled you into a hug. Damn near suffocating you from how tight he held you. He finally pulled away from you after a long couple of minutes.

“I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re too much , I love you no matter how clingy you are. It doesn’t matter about what people say because all that matters is how much I love you , and that goes to infinity,” he spoke putting both of his hands onto your face.

“I love you more Damian , I just think im doubting myself too much. But it feels good to know how much you love me,” you spoke with a smile , giggling a bit at the end.

“Now lets head to bed, well talk in the morning,”he spoke to you pulling your hand and leading you to the bed. With one last kiss , you to fell asleep as Damian spooned you.

[treacletartlett]

vulnerability

for the struggling girlies with anxiety♡

there's no one who you can really open up to, who you can talk about the most personal things with, but harry, he seems to be able to read you like an open book. he shows you how to make yourself feel good without guilt, he shows you how to be vulnerable with yourself and other people.

sorry guys this ended up being much longer than anticipated, I enjoyed writing this so much!

includes sexual content!

You and Harry are not actually friends, but sharing a friend group and house forced you to be friendly acquaintances, and when passing each other in the halls you greet each other with a simple greeting.

secretly, there has always been a kind of attraction you held for him, his charm, his good looks, but you never spoke about it with anyone since it didn't seem like anything past friendly attraction. unfortunately, that quickly grew into something you’d rather not speak about.

you didn't experience such feelings often, but when you did, they weren't as intense as you felt with him, which was something you struggled with a lot. you didn't enjoy the things your friends loved, or when someone tried to get it on with you your body didn't react as you wanted it to, even if it's just for wanting to know that you could feel the same as the others.

during breakfast time, you were sitting with your friends as usual. though what were unusual was that you had joined them a bit later than the rest.

you were that type of person who arrives earlier than the rest and is always on time.

your friend, neville, who was as oblivious as they come and nicely sitting next to hermione granger, who was Harry's best friend, looked at you with confusion while asking "where were you at? you're never this late to breakfast, I was almost worried."

the rough start of the morning did nothing to ease this situation.

trying to act casual, you scooped some egg and other foods on your plate, not paying attention to what you were piling your plate with. a faint pinkish tint rising on your cheeks.

“nothing, just slept late.” You mumbled loud enough for them to hear.

“I dont think that’s true,” Hermione spoke softly, that look on her face indicating she knows something suspicious was going. “you slept and woke up at the same time as me.”

hermione really knew how to put someone on the spot. while uneasily trying to make something up, Harry, who was sitting two places to Hermione's right, spoke up while holding the morning edition of The Daily Prophet.

“that doesn't matter, more importantly, Ginny, you're going to the quidditch tryouts, aren't you?” successfully steering the conversation away from you, you felt grateful for the minor save. you looked at him for a second, smiling slightly before focussing on something else.

“Yes, I'm trying out for chaser, then I have an excuse to push people.” Ginny said, but you weren’t really listening, your mind wandering.

"I'm sure you'll do great, alongside Ron of course, anyone else going? are you?" he asked you, suddenly interested. you weren't actually sure if you wanted to try out, never having been on the team yourself, but you loved quidditch, and did want to be, but with Harry as captain this year, you weren't sure how focussed you could be.

"oh well, I'm not sure. I've thought about it, but I don't know." you replied sheepishly. the lack of confidence in your voice has always had a way to embarrass you, even after such a long time. you were never able to grow into your own skin much, even after having seen all your friends grow up and get that self-confidence you lacked.

"I've seen you fly, y/n, you really should try-out! you're an amazing flyer." Ron said, which shocked you slightly, unknowing to his seeing you fly before-which you did with your friends often, late in the night- and the fact that he just praised your skills, has plastered a smile on your face and lifted some of your self-consciousness.

Harry nodded, seemingly agreeing with Ron. "yea, you definitely should, Ron and I were impressed with you! we're surprised you haven't tried out before."

your face reddened even more, and you hoped you weren't the same shade as a tomato, being put on the spot. you were really bad at getting compliments, scared you would come off as rude or arrogant by how you reply to them, so you did what you thought you should and smiled, and told them a small thank you to which they both smiled back at before resuming their conversation with Ginny, and the rest of the Gryffindors.

after breakfast, you and your friends left for classes, but the way Harry complimented you hasn't been able to leave your mind, making you lose focus for the majority of the day.

when classes ended you decided to split off from your friends a walk your own way, needing some space to clear your mind. your footsteps echoed and you grazed the wall, slightly leaning right against it. there was such a peaceful silence that it made you doze off. you weren’t paying attention to anything or anyone around, but it wasn’t needed since there weren’t anyone but you in the corridor.

Or so you thought. a small grunt escaped your mouth, the impact of walking into a wall hit you hard. but, as it turns out it wasn’t a wall. it was a someone. steadying yourself you looked up at the person you just walked into.

Harry Potter turned around and chuckled when he saw you. “You okay?" he asked, while he tried to hold in his laugh

it wasn't a hard hit as it would've been if you walked into an actual wall, but it still shocked you slightly. because of quidditch, he’s grown quite muscular, not too much, but just enough to make his back feel firm to the touch.

“Oh, right, yea sorry about that, wasn’t paying attention.” You mumbled, a faintly blushing.

“I noticed,” he chuckled. "don't worry about it, I didn't pay attention either. where were you off to?" his quick change in subject startled you, but when you collected your thoughts you croaked out your answer. "just walking around, wasn't thinking of a specific place."

He nodded, in thought, as if he carefully constructed his next question in his mind. "why were you actually late this morning? it didn't seem like anything particular, but when I saw Hermione's face, I knew she was suspicious, and most of her suspicions are justified."

this was the last thing you expected him to ask you, after he led the conversation this morning elsewhere. your face heated up in a second, reliving the memories of you this morning. you weren't sure how to reply, knowing you weren't the best of liars, and harry seemed to catch on to this rather quickly. was this the time to be honest? to tell the person you've experienced a different feeling with than the handful others you thought more than once about? it would be weird, and damn random. you and Harry weren't even real friends, this was something you wouldn't even tell your closest friends.

"well, uh, nothing. it was nothing. I was only late once, it happens. anyway I should get going." you tried to hurry off, staying casual, but it didn't work. as you walked past him, he followed you, and it seemed like he was going to stop at any given moment.

"you know, I'm not trying to embarrass you or anything, I'm just curious since your face reddened a bit when neville asked, and we haven't really spoken before, so because you're going to be on the quidditch team I thought we should try and maybe get to know each other, even if it's just a bit? anyway, whatever it is, I know it isn't nothing, and while I'm mostly someone who doesn't push, I'm also very curious, also to know you a bit, so whatever it is, don't worry, I won't find it weird or anything."

after he stopped rambling, silence filled the hall while you tried to articulate a convincing excuse. you weren't sure what he would think, and after his speech, you tried to focus on anything but his remark that you'll be on the team, when you haven't even clarified if you're trying-out. after pondering, and dragging it out for as long as you can, you stumbled a bit over your words before you managed to just throw everything out, for some reason forgetting all the reasons why you didn't want to tell him anything in the first place. he looked at you with such a look that for some reason made you think he wouldn't be caught off guard by what you were about to say.

you flushed bright red, your body having a hobby of showing your embarrassment which you've always cursed your genes for. "well, I'm not sure. so I- I think there is something wrong, or I don't know, with me. This is probably really weird, so yea," he shook his head in disagreement. "I was just- you know, I was, I don't know. I've never experienced those feelings before, even though everyone around me has, and well, you know, I also haven't had intense feelings for anyone until recently and it's really weird, I'm not sure what to do with them, so I did what everyone does and woke up early after I- after I had a-," you stopped talking for a second. "a dream, about, well, someone I think, and I thought 'I just have to try' because I wanted my body to react normally like everyone talks about, but I felt really weird and I hate discussing stuff like this, so it didn't really work out and after I felt really uncomfortable and dirty, or something, that I did that. I don't know why I won't just enjoy it like everybody else, but I guess my body just won't change or turn normal or something."

after you finished your sentence and caught your breath, you realised you rambled on to Harry for a solid second. embarrassment and disbelieve clouded your head, but Harry just listened to you talk and seemed interested in what you had to say. you could almost see the wheels turn in his head, forming a reply to your story. nerves settled low in your stomach and doubt clouded your thoughts, afraid you overshared or made him feel weird, but when he spoke, he spoke with such interest and care you suddenly forgot every worry you had.

"y/n, just because you don't experience things like others doesn't mean you can't give love to yourself. there is nothing wrong with you, or your body. just because it's deemed 'the ordinary' doesn't tell you that you have to experience it the same way as others." he stepped closer, "you don't have to 'overcome' it, because there is nothing strange about those mental barriers you set, you just have to understand what your body is telling you, without feeling disgusted. it's nature." his words felt like a caress against your back, the soft tone of his whisper a hug around you. they reassured you, settled the doubts you've had for so long a fraction, which is a fraction more than anyone has ever.

you weren't sure how to reply, this whole conversation feeling weird to you, but when you looked at him he seemed at ease. it wasn't new though, your friends loved to talk about it, and even though you didn't, you didn't want anyone to know about your 'abnormality'.

"so who's the person anyway, the one you were talking about." he asked. you looked at him, confused, not expecting him to ask that either.

"what?" you asked, absentmindedly. "you know, the person you had feelings for." you tensed. he obviously didn't know it was him, and you weren't about to tell him. "well, I-, I don't know." it was a feeble attempt, but it didn't work, obvious by Harry who started laughing.

"that was a really sad excuse, sorry." he said when he caught his breath. "it's okay, I promise I won't tell anyone." he looked eager to know, to know which person managed to activate your sex drive for the first, and probably last, time in your life. having spilled so much, you were at a loss for words. slight panic overtook you as you stayed silent, trying to come up with something.

Harry kept looking at you patiently. it was visible he really wanted to know, but he tried to hide it while you looked for something to say. the corridor almost came to an end, giving way for the grounds outside. it wasn't cold per se, but it wasn't pure sunshine either.

it was perfect.

you gave up trying to find an excuse to say that would convince him otherwise, and kept silence, hoping he'll magically forget he's asked you anything. it was pathetic, but maybe it would work.

"it isn't going to work." he spoke.

well, it was worth trying.

"you can't ignore me, or your feelings. maybe I can help you. whoever it is, I won't judge, I won't even reply, if you don't want me to." he stopped walking, standing in front of you when you two just passed a large tree. he had this puppy dog eye look, and silently begged to know the answer.

you weren't really sure why he wanted to know so bad, but for some reason it felt good knowing he wanted to know something like that, so personal. nevertheless, it was hard trying to maintain secrecy while he's looking at you like that.

"what if it were someone you knew really well?" you asked softly, slightly hinting at who it could be. you felt anxious as you avoided looking at him, your head bowed to the ground, suddenly interested in the green of the grass.

it was quiet, there seemed to be no one outside except for you two, which was highly unusual, since it's always packing with this weather, but you guessed the universe was at your side, granting you full privacy with Harry.

"then that would be just fine." he answered. his voice was calm and gentle, unlike your hoarse whisper. you wanted him to suddenly know without having to tell him, it would be much easier.

"someone you wouldn't expect, that you knew better than anyone else?" your eyes met his, awkwardly. you hoped he would just get the hint, you'll both ignore this conversation, and act like nothing happened while still being on good terms.

that seemed like the perfect scenario, right?

he stepped closer, not close enough to kiss your shoes, but enough to see the green of his eyes and feel his body heat warm you up like a fire.

"then I wouldn't mind at at," he smiled slightly, melting your heart immediately. "y/n, let me help you."

what did that mean? help you? did he understand, and choose to ignore, or he just didn't, and was pushing you to tell him? you didn't know how to reply, the silence was loud in your head.

"it's okay, I promise. just trust me, it's gonna be okay." he said when you kept silent. it seemed as if he mistook your confusion for dread of what he meant, but this was awkward enough, so you kept silent, praying in your head for this conversation to end, or for the earth to swallow you and never spit you out. they both seemed like good solutions for now.

you realised you probably looked stupid, or rude, just staying silent and ignoring Harry like this, but it was difficult trying to come up with a good reply. but you tried, needing the misery to end.

"can we just forget all this?" mid-whisper, you heard how cliche and pathetic you sounded, feeling betrayed by your inner mind voice, which sounded perfectly fine saying this line in your head.

about to turn away, your head down, Harry seemed to understand how you feel. how, when you two didn't even talk on a daily basis, did he seem to understand you so deeply when even the people closest to you can't? you get it, maybe because you've told him things you haven't told anyone else, or because his eyes are so bright it feels like they are seeing through your mind. or because to him, you're such an open book, you're feelings are just so normal, he understands more than he's ever understood before, which interests him.

"you don't have to walk away, y/n. you don't have to understand everything at once. let me help you this time, and after you can figure it out, okay? just, come with me, and I'll be there, and I won't forget, because I want to show you I understand." he took your hand in his, signalling for you to follow.

though you are grateful he didn't make you have to answer, even though his words settled in your stomach, wrapped around your head and blinded you with something you can't put a name to.

but you did, you did follow him all the way to his bed, in silence, where it was empty and just the two of you.

you felt trepidation about what was going to happen. it clicked in your head, all the talk about loving yourself and helping you. it was scary, just because you weren't sure how you and your body would react to his hands all over your skin, when you so desperately wanted to enjoy it.

the door closed, the walls radiated silence, which bounced off of every solid thing right into your eardrum, deafening you with the loudness of it. your heartbeat felt faster than before, the skin of your hand scorching hot where he held it. his eyes burned to the back of your head, seemingly unmasking everything under the veil constructed to keep your thoughts and emotions at bay.

you tried to hide it all, the subtle excitement, the dread, worry, all the fear, the inexperience. you hoped what he planned wasn't to unmask all of it, because that means being even more vulnerable with him than you've already been.

"y/n," he called softly, your name coming from his mouth like a sweet melody, it awakened something inside of you only the soft voice of him could. it was gentle, but reassuring.

you looked at him, your full attention turned to him and this moment.

"tell me when it's too much." he caressed your cheek softly, instantly creating a hot flush on my skin. "okay?" he pushed.

you nodded, your mind too lost to form legible sentences. you couldn't think, couldn't speak, even if you wanted to. you couldn't move, unless he helped you. you didn't want it to be too much, you hoped it would be just enough.

you knew Harry, you knew he knew what you needed.

"tell me what you're feeling," he leaned his forehead against yours, pulling you even closer.

the soft heat radiating off of him was different than your friends explained, everything was so much different than your friends explained.

"tell me what you want," his lips were so close, almost close enough to feel, to taste. he pulled you even closer, you were inches apart. one hand holding your face, the other feather light on your back, almost as if he's scared to hurt you by holding you too firmly. his lips got closer, and closer, until they made the lightest contact with yours.

they were soft, and tender, and even though it was only a second, a second of his lips on yours, you felt every touch of him, you felt something that made you need him even more, that made you want his lips for even just a second longer.

then, he backed you against the bed, making you lay down and pulling him on top of you, maintaining eye contact. his hands found their way to your shirt, pausing before pulling it up.

"tell me everything." his gentle tone pulled at your heart. reason left you completely, and there was no way you would ever want to stop this moment.

"may I take this off?" he questioned, so serious, but patient, and so gentle. it made you feel so safe and cared for, so comfortable in a way you didn't think possible with anyone else.

you nodded. "yes," breathless, exhilarated, assured.

you didn't think about your insecurities anymore, or your friends, or even why and how this happened. nothing is flying around in your mind anymore except for Harry, and his bright green eyes, looking adoringly at you, while his gentle hands lifted your shirt, slowly pulling it off of you.

then, his fingers went to your pants, unbuttoning, and pulling down the zipper, taking them off of you completely.

you were left in your panties, almost completely naked in contrary to Harry, who was still fully, clothed. it was unnerving, but also exciting. knowing you were actually anticipating him taking off his clothes made you feel good.

"Harry," you called.

"yes, baby?" baby. one word. four letters. the absolute most ordinary and widely used nickname for a significant other, but still, when he called you that, in that tone, it made you want him to repeat it alongside your name for hours on end.

"aren't you going to take it off?" you asked, softly.

"I will, baby. right now." he took your hand, leading it to the hem of his shirt, helping you lift it off him. slowly, his torso was exposed. light abs began peeking from underneath, soft, roughened, pale skin, scars that littered all over his body. he was truly beautiful.

you knew he had endured a lot since he was a little boy, but for some reason you didn't think it would stay with him permanently in physical form. still, for some reason you find his scars and stories beautiful.

he was perfect in an imperfect way. his ribs were sticking out slightly, his nipples were a gorgeous pink, his neck tight and leading to a sharp and hot jawline.

you weren't sure if Harry was anxious about his appearance, but either way, you were grateful that he trusted you with this.

he, his knees on either side of you, sat upright, looking at you as if expecting a comment. a speck of dread mixed with curiosity in his eyes. with every second you stayed silent, his anxiousness worsened, probably thinking you don't find him beautiful, but in truth, you just didn't know how to express your thoughts and emotions.

"harry," you sat upright, resting on your hands. "you're even more beautiful than I imagined you'd be."

a blush spread on his cheeks, looking down. it looked like he wasn't someone who is used to getting compliments, but you hoped he knew how many people saw his beauty.

"t-thank you." he managed to reply, his face pink, looking grateful and sincerely grateful.

your hands found the button of his pants, unbuttoning them while looking at him, smiling. he took your hands in his while helping you get him out of his trousers. when his zipper was undone, you pulled them down a bit before he stood up to take it off completely, leaving you both in only your underwear.

he climbed back on top of you, brushing the hair out of your face, while his hand took yours and travelled down, and down, over your breasts and nipples until they were at your panties.

they were wet already, a huge spot of moisture visible, but for some reason you weren't embarrassed, you only felt more and more turned on.

"y/n," he breathed, looking at your panties with approval, and longing. he led your fingers inside your underwear, holding your fingers against your clit, eliciting a soft moan to escape.

"God, I love hearing those sounds, you sound angelic." he said, while moving your fingers up and down your slit, the first time you actually enjoyed touching yourself.

he let go of your hand. "keep going," he said, when you stopped moving them. he pulled your panties to the side and admired you completely. "baby, you're so beautiful." and in one second he attached his lips to your nipples, sucking and licking and teasing them until they were red peaks, switching from the one to the other.

"oh, Harry." sounds you've never heard yourself make were coming out of you in strings. Harry knew how to work your body so well, it almost felt he was made for you.

"keep touching yourself," he paused teasing your breasts, and left wet trails of kisses up your neck up until he reached your lips, where he hovered above them. "I want to hear you coming by fingering yourself."

his words shocked you slightly, expecting him to do it for you, but the you remembered him telling you he would help you, now getting the full meaning of the message.

"Harry, I can't..." you trailed off, and stopped moving your fingers, even though it felt great.

he lifted you slightly by your hips to make you sit against the headboard, spreading your knees, exposing you to him completely, the ruined wet piece of cloth pushed to the side. you were breathing heavily, anticipating anything.

"I know you can, I'll help, show me baby." he replied, whispering the last part, which only felt fitting.

so you did, you circled your clit while keeping your eyes on harry. he took your hand in his and guided you towards your release. he was on his knees in front of you, close enough you could almost taste him, which you craved in this moment of vulnerability.

you pushed your middle finger in your entrance, going deeper and deeper until your finger is completely buried. at first it felt uncomfortable, but after adjusting, it was something not like any other feeling. your slickness lessened the friction, heightening the pleasure. Harry's hand brushed your hair away from your face, holding it while moving his thumb in a gentle manner.

"I know, you can do this baby, you're doing so good." he kept whispering praises to you while watching you finger yourself, his hand releasing yours to play with your clit.

the pleasure was immense, being extra sensitive because of the time passed not having been turned on while touching. Harry wasn't even inside of you and you already understood what all your friends were gassed about.

you increased your pace, desperately chasing that release. harry watched so intently how you pleasured yourself, his fingers working your clit so well. you felt close to the edge, the tension inside of you building up quickly, coming and going in fast waves.

Harry noticed, and began kissing you intently, and when his hand went down to your nipple and began pinching it slightly, your first ever orgasm crashed into you with the force of a bomb, making your jaw drop as you cried out for Harry.

your legs were trembling, and that feeling deep in your stomach kept intensifying by every motion of Harry's finger on your clit.

you stopped moving your finger, needing a break from the intensity. arching your back slightly as you came down, Harry laid you down completely. "you were so good y/n, so good." spreading you open further, lowering his boxers and tossing them off completely.

"I know, take your time baby, I'll wait. you were so so good." he kept whispering praises to you while rubbing your face in an endearing matter.

for a second you felt disgust by what you just did climb up your throat and cloud your mind, feeling shocked by how you acted, but soon all those thoughts got crushed by the man in front of you.

being hit with the aftershocks from what you just endured, you didn't fully comprehend the situation. it was mind blowing, and you couldn't wait to discover what committing fully was going to feel like.

when he was holding himself up by his hands that were beside your head, it hit you all of a sudden, Harry was completely naked. when you looked down your breath got caught, and you needed a second to comprehend the sight in front of you.

you didn't think it was possible, but he was even more beautiful. he was so hard it almost looked painful. veins travelled the length until it reached his sensitive pink tip that had a leak of precum spilling out. he seemed nervous for your reaction, but he hadn't need to be. he was perfect.

"please, Harry." you moaned, desperate to feel him inside of you, despite knowing it will hurt.

Harry got the hint and lined himself up by your entrance. "Are you sure?" he asked before entering you.

you nodded immediately "jus- just be gentle okay?" you replied, nerves starting to gather in your stomach. his endearing look soothed them a bit though.

"of course baby, don't worry, I know it will hurt but only a bit okay?" he kissed the top of your head, then your lips, his hands, which were holding him up, now running down the length of your body, over your breasts, all the way to your thighs, rubbing up and down them. he was almost completely on top of you, saving his weight while he was on his knees, making sure not to crush you.

he held himself against you, watching you intently for you reaction while he was pushing himself in slowly, making sure to take the time for you to adjust every few inches.

it was no doubt Harry was big, especially for his built. he was long and thick, and despite him being tall and lanky, he managed to get himself a magnificent physique a lot of girls swoon over.

you loved that you got to see him like this.

at the halfway mark, you had to take a couple of seconds to adjust, subconsciously clenching and unclenching around him. pain and pleasure mixed together in a perfect fusion.

"oh, Harry." your back arched slightly, your nipples getting the friction from Harry's chest above you, his hands everywhere on your body, it was great, all of it, even if the pain overrode the pleasure in some instances, at the end it felt greater than anything you've ever felt before.

Harry's moans were something like you've never heard before. he groaned and whispered you praises, his words and sounds settling deep in your core and heart.

when you managed to relax, he began moving. at first slowly, but gradually quickening his pace.

the bed creaked, the headboard banging against the wall, but at this moment you didn't care if someone could hear, in this moment it was only you and Harry.

he moaned less, and definitely quieter than you, but somehow they were still the only thing you heard. the way his face scrunched everytime he bottomed out, or the way his hair fell in his face or the beads of sweat that was trickling down his forehead. everything about him in this moment was like nothing ever before. his hands held your hips down, flexing with every thrust. he bit his lip, seemingly trying to control himself.

"Oh God, y/n-" he kept repeating your name over and over again, and the way it sounded in that voice made your melt every time he said it. his lips found your neck and started kissing and biting and teasing the skin until you were a crying mess more than you already were.

you were screaming, crying, moaning so loud you were sure people could hear you, but you didn't care. no one made you feel like him, you deserved complete freedom during your first time.

the feel of him sliding in and out of you with least amount of friction caused by your slickness was otherworldly. the sounds of his thrusts and your wetness were definitely something you didn't expect to love to hear so much.

"you're so wet baby, you feel that- you hear that? is that what I do to you?" he kept rambling, right next to your ear.

it was hard to hear him talk so softly when the sounds of him pounding into you were so loud, but you loved hearing him talk to you like that, as if he's trying to connect with you while fucking you mercilessly.

"Harry, I- I'm close, I think." it was feeble, at best.

this was different than fingering yourself. a giant wave of pleasure rocked through you so intensely you cried out. it was too much and not enough all at once.

"let go baby, come on. it's okay, I want to hear you falling apart on my dick." his words raised goosebumps all over your skin, making butterflies flutter all around in your stomach.

his pace increased considerably, pulling out completely then thrusting into you with great force. tears sped down your face, looking completely ruined, accurate to what you're feeling.

it hurt, but in such a good way you didn't want it to end. you gripped his back hard enough to leave marks, but that seemed to drive him even more, holding you down hard enough to bruise, he drove into you with such force you were sure to hit your head if he wasn't holding you. your legs were spread widely, heightening the feeling even more, he let go of your hips, grabbing your knees and holding them up, exposing you completely, making him hit a whole different spot that left your jaw hanging.

it all happened so fast, your orgasm hit into you so violently you shook and screamed so loud Harry held his hand on your mouth.

"Baby, you're so good, you're doing so good, keep screaming, I love hearing you like this." he kept praising, holding one of your knees up while his other hand was on your mouth.

"Harry, oh, please," you kept moaning, for everything and nothing at all. it felt extraordinary, you understood the hype around sex completely, and never wanted this to end.

"I'm so close y/n, please let me come. so, so close." he said, even though you didn't ask for permission, he did, and for some reason, that turned you on even more.

"come Harry, go on." you kissed him, and in a second he came undone. you clenched around him, holding him tightly to you while he cried out, riding out his high as his pace became sloppy and his breathing uneven.

he held onto you while driving in and out of you messily. his cum filled you entirely, warming up your insides. it felt like it would never end, this endless pleasure you were both stuck in, Harry, still spilling inside of you, holding you so close waiting to be finished before he could hold you.

eventually he did, and collapsed lightly on top of you, cuddling you while you both caught your breaths and came down.

he pulled out and rested his hands on your sides, turning you so you were laying on his chest, he kissed the top of your head and pulled the covers on top of you, holding you tightly against him.

you stayed like this for a while, just sitting in a comfortable silence, basking in the endearing feeling of him against you. it felt surreal, everything about this felt surreal, and you wanted to cherish the moment for as long as possible.

after a while of comforting silence Harry spoke up, breaking the spell. "how was that?" he asked, rubbing the hair from your face so you could look up at him. "was I any good?" he blushed slightly while asking.

"Harry, I don't think I know how to explain it," you paused, trying to think of something that would be close to what you felt. "you were beyond amazing, and I don't know how to show you how grateful I am to you."

Harry seemed speechless for a couple second before he recovered and gathered his thoughts. "that's really, n-nice, I'm glad, thank you, really.I'm so proud of you. you were great, baby." and he kissed you again, then you both sat in comfortable silence again.

and for the first time you were able to feel like any other, and being vulnerable with Harry was better than anything would have been in a different situation. you loved it.

a/n: hey guys, it's been a while. I've been busy but now since it's summer break I'll *hopefully* be able to update more frequently. this may be a bit rusty, but I hoped you enjoyed it nonetheless!

I also want to say, I definitely know my previous work isn't that great, considering I'm not an actual studied author and English isn't my first language, but I write for fun and all, so I hope you will still like my work despite the many flaws! if anyone has requests/ something to say, don't be scared! I love reading you guys' messages:).

check out my Wattpad...

[raainberry]

Rewind You

« To rewind is to make something go back to the beginning or to an earlier point. »

Sana x gn!reader

Angst

synopsis - your ex’s concert is the last place you should be at after breaking up, yet here you are

⚠️this (very) short story is told backwards, so from end to the start. i wrote it so you can read it normally and from the end. both ways will make sense, but the chronology in which it’s told will change.

wordcount - 581

T/W - Food (One mention)

A/N - two crazy discoveries led to this: new sana pics and melanie martinez’s unreleased song You Love I from which the concept is inspired. enjoy! or not bc i actually dont know if this is good its too late for me to worry about that🥰

Everything was better with her…

You’d ask yourself how you ended up here, but you knew the answer already.

You felt lost, overwhelmed as a pain you couldn’t seem to let go of persisted deep within your chest, looking around in search for a distraction.

How deluding…

The music was loud, but the tune was off. The lights were bright, but they lacked color. The people around you were happy, dancing and singing along to whatever song came out of those powerful speakers, but it wasn’t infectious.

Your eyes followed the spotlight as it highlighted the artist you hadn’t seen in months. All you could feel when you laid eyes on her was jealousy.

Something you loved and cherished, a place and a person, they’d been ripped away from you the moment you’d parted ways. Yet there she was, still enjoying it all as everyone’s focus and passionate admiration landed solely onto her for the next two minutes.

Minatozaki Sana.

You should have gone to a nightclub... It was the most popular, if not customary short-term remedy to a breakup. Why on Earth were you at a concert instead—her concert out of all?

Needless to say, your split was a fall from grace. Heartbreaking, as you’d expect from a relationship that lasted this long. You’d never broken up with anyone, but you’d seen it in the movies. You knew it would hurt no matter how long you’d seen it coming. You even bought the ice cream in advance, which you unsurprisingly downed in days while living in your memories.

Years. Months. Days. Hours. Every minute you spent together, you made sure to love each other, feeling your hearts swelling at every gesture. A kiss, a touch, or even a simple look was enough to send you to cloud nine. High enough to only see each other.

You’re not sure when everything and everyone else faded out, what mattered was her. You truly liked her. So did she. Perhaps from the moment you’d met. But it took a while to realise just how much you cared about the other.

A first date only came after her clumsy confession one drunken summer night on your balcony. You thought it had been a dream when you woke up the next day. It felt like it at least, when you laid eyes on her and saw her clinging to your shirt in her sleep. Even unconscious, she seemed to be aware of your presence. To want it.

Her conscience never let a second go by without a thought of you either. She made it her mission to satisfy this mindful desire of hers. Texting you at all hours, calling you just to hear the sound of your voice, asking if you could meet her in between two schedules like you would even think about saying no to her.

She was all you could think about. Her smile, her eyes, her laugh, down to her scent. It remained in a corner of your mind, recalling each of them in the late hours of the night as you struggled to fall asleep. The feeling was enchanting, to the point you wondered if she was real. If you’d really met her and she was not someone you’d made up in your dreams to make it all easier.

Life wasn’t that much of a party until you crossed paths with her. While she described her ‘before’ as chaotic, you liked to see yours as the opposite. Just plain boring.

Nothing seemed as colorful, vibrant, or lush without her.

Everything was better with her.

[nanasknifeprty]

i barely have any moots on here so im most comfy sharing this on here lmao, anyways rant incoming:

im back to feeling like an emotionless monster and somehow the only emotion im able to feel is this immense amount of self-hate?? like all my life i was craving for validation and the reassurance that ppl do in fact like me and that im at least somewhat desirable, and now i got the validation once more im suddenly feeling more aroace than ever (i never even considered being ace but its getting more and more likely tbh, and im pretty sure im at least on the aro spectrum bc the only crush i ever had is one i made myself have in order to avoid boredom at school but its v much just a result of severe daddy issues)

a funny thing abt myself is also that i do a complete 180 once im rlyrly drunk, means that i get v flirty and playful but overall just much more comfy with expressing my emotions such as appreciation for my friends, happiness, thankfulness etc. i never thought i had that much rizz when drunk lmao but basically i made a guy wanna cuddle with me like the entire evening (+ the morning after) but when it came to be morning and i sobered up i felt such a huge amount of guilt bc i basically woke up feeling...nothing? this boy is there liking all my stories and dropping the sweetest things (he even bought me a deftones album and u guys know how much i love deftones) and im still not feeling a damn thing?? like i got what i always wanted but why do i have to be that weird abt everything? i mean i genuinely like and appreciate him but im v sure its in a platonic way, just the way i like my other friends too. (+ while cuddling, i felt soo repressed by physical touch, as if i was getting crushed and my body could not respond to anything; i basically felt like a doll being dragged around by its owner but ofc i didnt say i was uncomfy bc im a coward lol)

all in all i feel like theres not many things missing until im able to label myself aroace, and by no means i wanna indicate that being aroace is something bad at all. its just such a sad thing for me, realizing i dont feel a thing while im 'playing' with other peoples feelings like some soulless monster.. this just made me realize i'd be horrible at dating and communicating bc the only ppl im comfy with talking abt this matter are my little digital tumblr people >_<

to everyone reading all of that for some unknown reason: tysm, have my (ofc platonic) love <33

[slutshamethesquirrels]

i just wanna vent about something that happened yesterday and no one has to read this or care but i just woke up and its still on my mind so

tw: body image issues

so, as we all know, i am fat. I stand about 5'6 as well. so i am not a tiny cutesy lil bunny girl, okay?

now, i love my body. on most days, i think im pretty hot even. i have tattoos and piercings, a mullet, an hourglass shape, big butt, big thighs and a relatively small waist in comparison to the rest of me. I do have a belly OBVIOUSLY but ive even learned to love that after multiple men have fallen over themselves just to get the opportunity to worship it.

but it took me a LONG time to get there. up until age 23 or so, i was always dressed in oversized clothes, hiding everything thing i could, my self esteem was in the toilet. i didn't do my hair or makeup, it didn't matter because in my mind i would always be fat and ugly.

onto the story:

so i work at an art store, we also sell jewelry and clothing and lots of gemstones. its very mountainy, the point of our store is to be able to share the Appalachian culture with others.

we have these gemstone stretch bracelets that are pretty popular, but sometimes the inner band gets worn down when customers come in and play with them too much. it happens.

so some of my first customers the other day were not my usual clientele. they were a younger (20s?) african American couple dressed very in tune with current fashion. (our typical demographic is middle aged white women)

i give em the whole rundown yada yada local art lemmie know if you need me here are our sales and go back to rearranging earrings. they didn't seem interested in talking to me and thats fine i actually prefer the customers who don't like to engage much. they're standing on business just like me; there's being shopping and mine being these fucking earrings that make me wanna die.

so they poke around and i do my job and eventually the girl brings up one of our gemstone bracelets and a ring her up, cut the tag off so she can wear it out and i thought that would be the end of it.

a few minutes later she brings it back to me with one of the inner bands busted and says "i think i broke this, im sorry." i tell her its fine and walk her over to the display so we can pick out a replacement and she points to one and i get it down for her and take the broken one off her wrist and slide the new one on and as im doing this im casually customer servicing "dont worry, this happens sometimes, its not your fault. kids think these are toys so they come in and strech them too far and then the band wears down yada yada blah blah"

and she, so quietly and so sad, goes:

"i think im just too big for them"

and it wasn't until this point that i realized what was happening. i hadn't realized how big this girl was until she said that. she was fat, too but probably had a better bmi than me because she was TALL, maybe six foot? Wide frame.

but it just made me so sad. i assured her that wasn't the case, that smaller people broke these all the time but i was so overwhelmed bc yall this girl was gorgeous.

she dressed nice, her skin was clear (and soft from what i could tell touching her wrist), her hair was slicked back in cute little puff balls and she smiled absolutely intoxicating like there was no reason for her to hate anything about herself. she had pretty chocolate puppy dog eyes and long lashes and full lips and she was so SO pretty like im telling you guys. she wasn't even wearing makeup!! just out here naturally looking like that.

anyway maybe im just not doing well but its the next day and i can't stop thinking about her. i literally woke up in tears over it. of course i told her that wasnt true but i couldve done more. I couldve hugged her and told her how beautiful she was i was just so shocked i dont know.

i hope shes doing okay, i don't think ill ever forget her.

[unidentified-ending]

"Out of the Shadows"

Part 4

Guys, this might be the last one, if not then part 5 definitely wil be so, stick around for the next one :D

Tw: violence, injuries and (harsh?) transphobia. Not for the easily upset

Aizawa and Class 1a x ftm!bullied!reader

Before we start, I just wanted to say thank you all for the likes and follows, it may not seem like much but I really appreciate it. Thank you for supporting my work

And with that being said, let's do this

"I think you'll want to see this" It was strange for Katsuki to be quiet so something serious must of happened Aizawa thought so he walked outside and closed the door behind him.

He widened his eyes in shock.

"What...What happened?" He said, looking at your limping form on Izuku's shoulder.

"We're not sure. According to the nerd (Deku) one of Minato's friends, Kyou, called for him and me to go to the locker rooms and we found Y/n lying on the floor, nearly unconscious" Bakugo explained.

"It wasn't even that bad, it was just a little miscommunication that led into a fight. Im literally fine.-" You said but Bakugo shouted

"Well what the hell was all your lunch, stationary and other stuff doing all over the ground huh!!"

"Alright Bakugo and Midoriya, thank you. I would like to talk to him alone. Midoriya could you please hand out the worksheets to everyone? Do what you want just dont cause much trouble. Y/n can you walk?" Aizawa concluded.

"Yes, but I think my foot is injured" You said while Bakugo and Midoriya walked back into class, all your classmates asking them questions before they walked filly into the class.

"Alright, let's go to recovery girls office, she'll heal you." He said as he walked by your slightly limping figure.

Once you guys got to recovery girls office you sat down at one of the beds.

"Alright, please tell me what's going on. I need no lies at this moment forward" He said seriously, looking at your nervous eyes, waiting for some answers.

You sighed shakily but finally gave him the truth

"Well, these kids have been bullying me, since the day I saw them. They've been picking on me and hurting me. I know I've been keeping this a secret. I'm sorry" You say, tears starting to well in your eyes.

"It's ok, let it out I'm here" he said as he stands up to hug you, you grip onto his hero costume like its the last thing on earth and sob in his shirt until you calm down, sniffling and red-eyed.

"It's alright, I've got you. Recovery Girl will heal your foot, get some rest kid. You need it" He said after you calmed down,

"Y/n, we will get these kids expelled. For you. For all the victims"

You nodded and climed into one of the beds, you couldn't resist the cozy comfort of the bed and quickly fell asleep, in a matter of minutes.

You woke up and it was evening, you could see it through the big class windows which were shining through a yellowish orange glow inside.

"Good evening dear, your teacher left a note for you. Its just by your side" recovery Girl said as she noticed your were awake.

Your foot had been healed though you felt very tired, she handed you the note that read

"Hey kid, come to the dorms as soon as you can. Your classmates have something for you"

You sighed and got ready to leave, your bag and your belongings beside the bed you were in. You said your goodbyes to recovery girl and left the room, wondering hat your friends and classmates had done for you.

You were so drifted out of your thoughts that you never noticed Kyou who accidentally pushed passed you. "Sorry dud......" when you saw who it was you froze.

"I'm not gonna do anything to you, I need to go" he said rushing away in a hurry, you had so many questions for him that were unexplained but he just ran off so you saved it for the next time you saw him.

You were so lost in your thoughts, again that you didn't realise you ran into someone else, two people. When you tried to apologise, the only word your mind could conjure up was

"shit"

Minato and Haruki.

As soon as they saw it was you, Minato slammed you right into the wall. You really couldn't catch a break..

"What the fuck did I tell you, you fucking freak" Minato said as he opened the door to an empty classroom and threw you in there.

"You stand guard and get Riku to come with weapons. Im finishing this now" He said, eyes glinting with rage and malice, his true intent was to get rid of you.

Forever.

"Please man, I haven't done anything to you."

"Your existence alone is enough reason to make your life miserable." Minato said and Haruki added on from the side

"Pathetic. Trying to fit in won't change what you really are. A girl, A female. A woman"

Your heart shattered into a million broken pieces as the reality of what they said sank in. It was true, that's all you were. After years and years of trying to fit on and be a real man, just shattered over a few words.

He threw you at a table and desk and you slammed right into it, your body aching with pain. He lifted you up and slammed you back down on the ground, the nerves in your back shooting all the way to your brain.

He then towered over you.

You felt the cracking of bones and the gush of blood as the punches rained down upon you, your face becoming a grotesque battlefield of pain and blood.

The ringing in your ears just wouldn't stop.

Just then Riku, Asahi and Kyou walked in.

Riku's eyes glinted with mischief as he reached into his duffel bag and pulled out a collection of bats, one for each person. With a sly grin at you, he started handing them out, creating an unwatchable atmosphere in the room.

"I want him gone"

Ahhhh, cliff hanger. This is the 4th part.

I kind of got lazy with this one considering it's 3:18 in the morning so forgive me if any silly mistakes were made.

The final part is coming tomorrow, or today so stick around for that

And remember:

Always drink water and eat something, You deserve it :DD

[neyliaart]

hi hello talk to me about junmei :3

i prefer post-canon stuff but i will gladly take anything!! also. do you perchance know of any jun wu redemption fics because i could only find one on ao3 ;;

yes he’s a villain but. it’s fanfic! he comes with a complimentary sad backstory! he’s stuck under a mountain to think about his actions! he’s stuck there forever, he has plenty of time to reflect on his behavior

First up @witch-is-writing do you know?

I only remember ones that vaguely count as redemption really but in my defense I woke up a minute ago, saw "Junmei" and scurried to write this text. Also do tell me which fic you found so I can check if I read that pls :3

Jun Wu is just the personification of 'hurt people hurt people' for me and if you wish I may write an essay about that thazs vaguely structuered and more of a ramble. I do however very much consider mei nianqing to be important to his healing. I dont even call it a redemption arc but oh boy that man needs some Healing. Mnq does too and they really should do that together because their issues are so intertwined. I have so many loose thoughts about this right now oh ma god.

The path to Jun Wus redemption or healing will always lead through the vassal that stayed longer and the vassal that left in the end. The one man he couldn't kill in two thousand years. The one man who knew him before he put on one mask after the other.

And truly they have all the time in the world for that post-canon. Let nianqing (...nian...nyan....nya... Yeah i didnt sleep enough.) visit him in the mountain. Return day after day to make it stick a little. That hes there now. Bring tea, bring books to read, whatever really. They are both so incredibly hurt it makes me sick (positive) and it would be a journey. One thats hard and rocky. One where JW still falls back to lash out and bite because its what saved him for hundreds of years but MNQ stays now no matter how he growls.

Yes JW is just a rescue dog to me and I will never get that thought out of my head ever again but I have one and the similiarities of it are striking. Funnily enough that also means most people should just ignore him (for now). Let one person get closer for now, more than that would be too much and if he starts to feel cornered he will growl and then he will bite. Its an intricate play ot trial and error to figure out when to actually step back and give more space and when to take him by the scruff even if he tries to bite. So MNQ got a lot of work and figuring that out ahead because thats his rescue now (has always been really) and JW will always remain a little more at ease with him than the rest of the world.

At last those who caused the pain have died and after that, by all means, it was all a grasp for control because for as long as he has control he can never be hurt. I believe we all try to hold control over at least something in our lives and its natural to do so. We are all scared to be hurt. But nobody can control everything (much less forever) and he needs to learn to live with that fear and uninternalize the mask of anger that hides it.

No matter what he needs to feel safe first. Not ultimatly safe but at least safe to show that hes afraid. Safe enough to stop wearing a mask of stirkes to hide the vulnerabilty. He needs to be scared and he needs to be vulberable and it need to be safe and okay for once.

And who better to grant that safety than that started the whole tale of his demise and his crimes by telling our main character to the face that this man shone so much brighter than he ever did. A fact i will never get over. The contents of what MNQ tells XL and us is like: War crimes, attempted murder on me, wiping out the heavenly capital, bringing ruin to Multiple kingdoms and how does one start such a tale best? Logically by refering to the man in question as the sun. But thats not enough. He wasnt just any source of light. He outshone you and all of us and all the other gods which are now dead because he murdered them.

MNQ is crazy for that and I absolutly adore that and that is literally all it will ever take for me to ship this. You can not tell me that is not a subtle love confession?? JW attempted to murder him multiple times i don't think people normally talk about such a guy like that??

Uhhhhhhhhhh anyhow

*subtly slides discord link*

I also made this where witch is also inside and so far nobody else but uh yes in case you want that because I dont know how to tell people.

[gamblersdoll]

ITS THE MATTER OF IT… chapter 3

tw: mentions of wounds, and having a larger chest.

the sweet smell of pancakes and maple sausage cooking in the morning is what woke everyone up, except megumi. his stomach wasnt wired like yuuji or nobaras.

you were a good cook for your age, your family having professionals cook whenever you werent. you learned from them though, because the thought of paying for food when you could just cook it from scratch isnt a great thing. you also found slight satisfaction from here the noises of delight from people eating your food.

except yuuji, yuuji was very vocal and sometimes messy when he ate your food. you would say something about manners, but alot of people dont inherit that gene.

“well damn, is it that good?” nobara asked, cringing from the syrup dripping from his plump lips.

yuuji nodded frantically, “hell yes! its perfect!” he exclaimed, digging into the pancakes you made. nobara and him bickered, which unfortunately woke megumi up and made him grouchy.

you had already wandered off, going to the end of the hallway to your bedroom that jujutsu high had granted you to have ever since your arrival. before you could even get there , yuuji had stopped you.

“thank you for breakfast! you have to teach me how to cook…” he awkwardly chuckled, putting his hand on the back of his head. something about yuuji he learned was he always burned food because his mind wanders. that boy had to have adhd, because how do you forget food is cooking until you see fire?

“most definitely.” you said flatly, opening your door so you could step in— until he pushed his way in.

“oh so this is your room? how cool! you listen to alot of bands huh? and you have a little salt lamp?” he rambled, looking around your room without asking. you didnt mind since hes been trying to actually get to know you, fortunately.

“ yeah, i do.” you said in your same flat tone. you wouldve grown annoyed when yuuji flopped on your bed, but you were in a good mood. you sat next to him, scrolling on your phone, you were fine until you werent.

“so.. ms reincarnated—“ yuuji started, until you spoke in a agitated voice.

“dont piss me off.” you said, rolling your eyes. “is that what you want to do?” you questioned.

“what? no! you look like youd get scary if you did..!” yuuji exclaimed, gulping. you side eyed him, rolling them again.

sukuna only listened from his domain, cheek resting on his knuckles.

today was her day.

……….

“fuck man! how the fuck did you lose the special grade?” nobara groaned, panting. megumi was supposed to exercise it but it randomly disappeared, causing more work for the four of them. you didnt care too much, your keen sense of hearing and smell was your clutch. nobara and megumi bickered, until you grew tired of it, you were only tired cause of your bust– all the real bitches get it, you thought.

“nobs, we can find it, but you fussin’ wont help us. me and yuuji will go one direction and you and megumi go the other.” you planned, everyone agreeing to go their routes. you and yuuji ran, until it got harder since your stamina was depleating.

yuuji caught on, had it been nobara he wouldve laughed, but he cared about you alot for some reason. he picked you up, speed increasing ajd you grew surprised, damn could he run. he had to be a athlete before.

you both did find the special grade, it still was going to be tough— it was always tough. but you loved challenges.

when it was in your favor.

after five minutes you were bruised, some cuts leaking red fluid and you were panting. you armed yourself again, thinking to use your domain, until the special grade was suddenly fearful, and then, dead. its head severed with its arms and legs. you questioned if it was your technique, but suddenly you werent hurt, nor sore? you had healed?! yuuji probably learned it before your arrival. you did feel his hand on your shoulder.

you went to turn to him, thanking him.

“thank you, yuu–“ you said, before you paused.

“you havent changed a bit, little one.” sukuna had said, looking into your brown pearled eyes.

your eyes widen, suddenly being on defense. you were already on it, but this time it wasnt a challenge, it was life or death if you fucked it up.

you stepped back, eyes probably deceiving you. no, it was sukuna, but yuuji was the body. you thought certain things couldnt worry you, but this did. where were nobara and megumi when you needed them? how could you not have sensed his presence?

“now now, no need to feel scared or worried. i wont harm you unless you piss me off or say something disrespectful towards me. but you already knew that, youve always been tatical and smart.”

you swallowed thickly, was he toying with you?

“lets just talk for a bit, okay?” he said, grinning at you.

honorable tags: @lisaaannna @coldbreadbouquetworld

anyone who wants to be tagged please dm or comment! shares and reposts are much appreciated so you can see more of my stories!

[pilotduty]

PILOT TALK TO ME ABOUT ZOMBIE SOULSUCKER PLS

HI LOVE OF MY LIFE i knew i could rely on u to be as Insane about this as me. putting it below the keep reading line because im about to unload the Directors Cut on you xo

SO a lot of people see soulsucker and starfucker to have a sort of angel/demon dynamic going on, and ive been eating that up because i looove the religious trauma angle this album is taking but then i was like What If st*r didn't align with typical religious imagery because... tbh that trope can get kind of bland.

him being brought back from the dead as a reference to clinging to the safety of the past and hesitance to accept/pursue change.. him being a character who is like the embodiment of everything awsten used to be and the parts of himself that havent changed even though the environment around him and the sound of his music have. st*r being dead makes him feel like he cant change no matter how badly he might want to. if he does something wrong, something that breaks the rules, he could literally physically fall apart. he doesnt know what's keeping him alive but he has to assume its some kind of godly power, because thats all he has as a frame of reference for life and death. but he's a creature that not even god can touch now. whether or not he realizes what that means for him, he knows that he can't go back to how he was, if he even knows what that would look like. he at the very least has the safety of already being dead- "if i'm already dead i can't be killed".

the important thing is that st*r is dead. or he should be. awsten can't figure out how to keep him dead, or re-kill him, or hide him away. no matter how badly he wants st*r gone, he doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

ok anyway heres design aspects that are Important To Me-

i gave him his scene-era haircut intentionally, i think it ads to his character representing his past self

upside down cross necklace because I Felt Like It

st*r's canon excessive layering is mostly to hide that he's dead and decaying

under his shirt his heart is exposed. im going to draw that next i think. theres a constant open wound over his heart- you can literally see directly into his heart :3

the places where his arms and fingers move a lot are the most prone to splitting- thats just a logistical design thing that i thought was cool it doesnt really Mean anything LOL

halo hair design. because of those rumors that he dyed his hair in a halo. unholy creature with holy traits etc etc

gave him that extremely hot and bad for me running/smudged eyeliner that has the little flecks of star glitter in them because It Looks Cool and theres Something there about having tiny stars under his eyes despite stars Not Being His Theme-Relevant Shape

the idea of him supergluing the edges of his gloves to his fingers to keep them from falling off while he performs popped into my head while i was drawing him and i thought you specifically would dig that concept. so.

soulsucker and st*r represent different ways awsten presents himself (i think- i kind of Dont Care about the lore that much ((i care So Much that was a lie)) and dont read other people's interpretations on it, but thats mine) so i think the idea of st*r trying desperately to hold himself together and fit the expectations/aesthetics of his job are kind of devastating from this angle, because he literally physically can't do it. whether its his own reluctance keeping him from doing it or some otherworldly/godly interference is up to interpretation methinks

more on its way i woke up like an hour ago and cant remember everything i wanted to say so sorry if none of this Matters or doesnt make any sense

[fyodoro]

HII! i've been into dance moms lately help😭 can i req akito , toya, and rui (separatly) w a fem s/o who was on dance moms? if u dont wanna write this thats ok hehe have a good day!

-> 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞!

You felt a lot of indifference towards your past position, but they’re always there to tell you you’re more than your past

With Akito Shinonome, Toya Aoyagi and Rui Kanishiro

Cw! Mentions of past trauma, yelling, implied past anxiety attacks, self sabotage (kinda), you punch rui!!!! | fluff (akito’s), comfort (toya’s), Angst to fluff (rui’s)

Akito Shinonome

When Akito first met you, he knew he’s seen you somewhere before. He just couldn’t put his finger on it, but knew you were a familiar face. It wasn’t until one fateful day Ena woke up earlier than usual and put something on the family TV.

He recognized your face instantly, and everything fell into place. ‘You looked so familiar because Ena would watch you all the time on TV.’

A scoff escaped the ginger’s lips, how could he forget that? Although, you have changed quite a bit since you stopped appearing on the show. The version of you practicing on the television now is so tiny compared to who you are now. Both mentally and physically.

“You’ve been a little too interested in Dance Moms Akito, you feeling okay?” Ena said teasingly. It’s not often she saw her brother paying attention to something like that.

“I’m fine. Hey- does it really matter what I watch and don’t watch?” Ena laughed at his remark, brushing him off and sending him to the Cheesecake shop they both like to pick a slice up for her.

The younger rolled his eyes in annoyance at her request, but did so anyway. At least he could get a slice for himself.

The walk was just like any other, gripping the money tightly in his pocket and only focusing on his destination. Well, that was Akito’s main focus. Coincidentally, he just so happened to see your face in the crowd. It took him a moment to recognize that it was the current you. After all, he just finished watching your younger self on an old show.

There was a silent debate in his head on whether he should go up to you or not. ‘Wouldn’t that be creepy?’ He thought. But it’s not like he’s a stranger to you… you couldn’t mind too much, right? Before he could finish the debate, the boy found himself walking your way already.

“Oh, Akito? I didn’t know you came around these parts. What’s up?” The small smile on your face felt a little forced, but Akito paid no mind to it.

“I could say the same to you, I didn’t think someone like you would come to such a crowded area.”

His words rang in your head a bit, ‘someone like me?’ You thought. While you didn’t want to acknowledge it, you knew what he was talking about. ‘I guess I can’t keep it a secret for too long to anyone.’

“Oh well you know, it’s been so long since I dropped out the show. Not many people recognize me anymore. Which actually, I’m pretty grateful for.” You said. While you liked the attention for a bit, it got overwhelming fast. Learning how to keep up with fake fronts to strangers was exhausting, though Akito didn’t seem to mind the natural you.

“Yeah, I only realized it was you when my sister put one of your episodes on earlier. But it’s cool, you’re still (Name) at the end of the day.”

Something about his words were comforting. At the end of the day, you were just a regular person. It felt nice to have someone acknowledge that without putting you on a pedestal.

“Hey, where were you heading?” You asked. Partly out of genuine curiosity, and partly out of wishful thinking. Maybe you can tag along with him.

“The bakery, I’m picking up some cheesecake for me and my sister. She sends me on these errands a lot.” He scratched the back of his head a bit. One thing you both had in common? Keeping up a fake appearance in front of certain people.

“Oh, I know the bakery your talking about, I love it there! Can I come with you, perhaps?” Honestly, you just wanted to get out of the crowded plaza. Otherwise if someone recognized you here, you’d be too exhausted to do anything for the rest of the day.

Akito didn’t mind one bit. He sensed some desperation in your voice, and assumed what you were thinking. There was a mutual understanding that both of you were trying to make yourselves look good right now.

He wouldn’t mind getting to know the other side of your personality a lot better.

Toya Aoyagi

Toya wouldn’t have known who you were until An pointed it out. He wasn’t aloud much television or internet access as a kid, and when he was, it was always monitored. So to say he was clueless would be an understatement.

It didn’t help that An was so casual about it, just casually saying;

“You see that student? They were on this show I used to watch as a kid, Dance Moms, isn’t it so cool she goes to our school?”

When Toya hears this, he thinks it might have been an idol show, and you were a former idol. It wouldn’t be anything new for An to be so normal about being acquainted with a popular figure. The dual hair boy let his curiosity get the best of him and looked up this… “Dance Moms.”

He only watched the episodes you were in, trying to understand where your coming from and what made you so special. Though when he finished, he felt more worried about you than he’d have liked.

Watching you get screamed at over messing up precise steps, seeing you get belittled to put other dancers up, it looked traumatic. He could understand why you dropped out of the show, the experience didn’t seem like a pleasant one.

The next day, seeing you in the halls felt… different. He just watched a big chunk of your childhood, and now he has to act like he doesn’t know a thing about you. Surely you wouldn’t like to be talked to cause you were on such a exploiting show as a kid? With each passing period, he noticed you more and more.

But seeing you alone throughout the day made the boy feel bad. Did you choose to be alone? Did others avoid you because of how they watched you get screamed at so much as a kid? He wasn’t sure. But he was sure something in him made him take a seat next to you on a bench.

The silence was awkward and the tension felt thick. ‘I definitely should have thought this through.’ He thinks. He clears his throat, getting ready to speak before you ended up speaking first.

“What do you want? Come here to tell me how bad of a dancer I was on that show?” Your voice was laced with disgust, emphasizing that disgust even more when you mentioned “that show.”

While Toya was no expert on dancing, he knew that your dancing wasn’t bad at all. Sure, you might have screwed up a few moves. But didn’t everyone? Yours just so happened to get more shunned than any others did.

“No, actually. I’ve seen you alone a lot, and everyone could use some company.” He said sincerely. He knew bringing up your status wasn’t a good idea, and avoided mentioning it. You appreciated that, but only a bit.

You looked frustrated. ‘Why would you be frustrated?’ He thinks to himself. He would understand being upset, or even a bit annoyed. But frustration felt like an odd emotion to feel in this situation. To him, at least.

“You’re just going to try and get close to me, get a little bit popular, and leave with that popularity. That’s what they all do, I assume you’re no different from them. Maybe your double colored hair represents how two faced you are.” That’s a bold claim…

He began piecing the puzzle together. You were always alone because you distanced yourself from everyone, and you had a fear. It made sense now, the fear of being used was a scary one to him. At the same time, he wants you to see having real friends is important, much better than being alone.

“In that case, could I prove to you I’m not… ‘two-faced’?” He asked. You almost choked on your spit at that. Why would he want to prove anything to you?

“If you try hard enough, maybe. I can’t be fooled easily by whatever your going to do.” There was a trace of amusement in your voice, as if this was the first time you’ve heard a funny joke. But with that amusement also came bitterness.

Toya made a pact with himself, and a silent pact with you. He would do whatever it took to show you having friends isn’t so bad, as long as you find the real ones. And he’s okay with being your first real friend.

Rui Kamishiro

Rui was sure he was mistaken. Someone so talented- popular- someone with such a clean reputation… wants to be with him? He couldn’t believe it.

For a moment, he thought of putting distance between the two of you. Someone like you shouldn’t be around someone like him. People would surely get the wrong idea, and then you’d lose everything. He didn’t want that for you, not at all.

The best way to avoid that outcome?

Distancing himself.

The tall alchemist almost felt like he was in junior high again. The way he pushed you away was all too familiar to the way he pushed Nene away, and he hated it. But, this was for your own good.

At least, that’s what he wanted to believe.

He found it difficult to keep you away. After class ends, you’re always running up to him with lit up eyes. It was a subtle part of his day that he didn’t realize he loved so much, he missed it.

Now he had to ignore that light and walk directly to the next class. It hurt, but he paid no mind to it. You were probably doing just as well, if not, better, without him.

Though that wasn’t the case at all.

In your eyes, Rui had left you alone in the dark. There was no explanation for the sudden cut off, there was no sign of it beforehand. It had you running in circles in your mind. ‘What could I have possibly done?’ You thought.

You attempted to confront him, multiple times in fact. But every time he sees you, he scurries away hastily. Apart of you wanted to slap him across the face, but the other part just wanted to break down in front of him and beg for an explanation.

You two were practically best friends before all this. He helped you out of being crowded by old fans and was like a bodyguard at times. Rui never cared about the person you used to be, he only cared about the person you are now. It meant a lot to you.

But now it seems he’s forgotten all about that.

You needed to corner him if you wanted an explanation. He had to be alone with no excuse to just “go away.” You just had to catch him at that perfect time. Even if it takes awhile, you’ll wait as long as you need for him.

A few days went by with 0 luck. The only time you saw an opening, he started messing with two underclassmen. One looked like he was about to snap Rui’s neck while the other was keeping him from doing so. It was an amusing sight, and you were happy to see Rui in his element. Even if you wish those two underclassmen went another way.

Making your way to the vending machines, you spotted the familiar purple haired boy fiddling with the buttons. A look of irritation plastered on his face as he begins to shake the machine from the sides.

‘Ah, something must have gotten stuck.’ You thought. This wasn’t an opportunity you could miss, it was too good. You walk up to Rui and the vending machine, helping him shake it a bit more vigorously before the soda candy finally dropped. He bent down to open the slot and retrieve his snack, and then turned to you.

“Why thank… you..” A face of realization flashed across his face. ‘Theres no way out of this one.’ He thought.

“Rui.”

“(Name)…”

Rui looked at everything except you, trying his hardest not to crack open. What could you possibly want from him that’ll put your reputation at risk?

“Can you tell me? Tell me what I did. You stopped talking to me out of no where, and keep avoiding me! Do you have any idea how hard I’ve been trying to talk to you?” Your voice cracked a bit. There was a deep sense of desperation in your voice that only a fool could miss, and Rui was no fool.

“I just thought you’d be better without me (Name). You’re talented, beautiful, and most of all, a good person. If people see you with me they’re going to think you’re a weirdo like me.” He never realized how dumb his idea sounded until he said it out loud. He wanted to distance himself because you were more important than him? ‘Pathetic of me…’ he thinks.

A silence coated the two of you, and the last thing you wanted was to indulge in it. This whole time… he was avoiding you because of your reputation? Because he didn’t want to ruin your reputation just by being around you? You wanted to laugh.

“I hope you know how happy I am being your friend. You don’t water me down to “a previous dancer on television” and you never did. I always appreciated that and I just- I just want to keep being with you Rui.” This time you couldn’t stop the voice cracks, or the lone tears falling down your cheeks.

Like all the times before, Rui pulled down his sleeve and wiped your tears. His gesture made your heart melt like it always did. He couldn’t stand seeing you cry, it was only worse you were crying because of him.

“I’m sorry (Name), if I had known… I would have stayed with you. I won’t let a mistake like this happen again, I promise.” His tone was sincere and gentle. His hands still on your cheeks from wiping your tears, it was a moment you could stay in forever.

But you weren’t going to forget what he did that easily, no matter the reason. You pulled away and punched his shoulder a little harsher than intended. He yelped in brief pain, clutching his shoulder.

“What was that for??!” He nearly laughed, but refused to give you the reaction you wanted.

“That was for leaving me in the dust for days! Do it again, and it’ll be worse.”

Rui didn’t wanna know what that meant, and deepened the promise he made in his head SK he would certainly never do that again.

Despite the stinging pain he felt, he smiled.

‘I really missed this..’

[yanderes-galore]

seen your into rick and morty, i think i have a request up my sleeve ;)

now, a rick prompt of 7. i think it would match him pretty well tbh, and i dont really know what else to request for the show. also make sure not to overwork yourself !

Rick and Morty makes me feral/affectionate. I'd love to. I'm assuming you mean my prompts so I did that. No specific Rick intended.

Sorry for the wrong wait and sorry for making Rick a bit OOC.

Yandere! Rick Sanchez Prompt 7

Pairing: Romantic

"All this blood? It's all for you! Everything I do is all for you!"

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Jealousy, One night stand mentioned, Age gap, Obsession, Murder, Blood, Slight sadism, Kidnapping implied, Mind break due to trauma of murder, Drinking, You're in your 20s, Drug use mentioned, Disregard for life, Forced relationship.

Rick, in his age, thought he had given up being attached to anyone. You could say it’s because of his past, he really doesn’t care. Now Rick is used to getting boozed up and taking strange space drugs while driving he and his grandson into danger. 

He had given up finding anyone to fill the empty hole within him. He was content with just having flings and not really committing to any of them. He was one for parties and avoiding responsibility. 

What was the point, anyway? Nothing mattered to him.

Even when he first met you he still had his usual ideals. He had met you at one of the many parties he partakes in. You came with a friend Rick had invited and decided to see what it was like to attend a party with, well, otherworldly creatures.

You weren’t normally one for parties but your friend was adamant on coming to one hosted by Rick. At the time, you gave in and thought you’d have a good time. You had no idea going to a party would cause Rick to reconsider his ideals.

To put it bluntly, you got a bit out of hand. You had met Rick, a much older man, and greeted him. You mostly tried to stick by your friend but they themselves got too caught up in the mass of bodies. Somehow, with a few drinks, you found yourself back to Rick.

You weren’t sure why you came back to him, your mind is still fuzzy on the details. You can barely remember what he said yet you did remember downing some drinks with him. When drunk, he was funny. Strangely… flirty, too. 

You learned from your friend afterwards that’s just how Rick was. He got drunk with other people, had a one night stand with them, then continued on with his life. You recall at first being opposed to his advances, due to the age gap between the two of you. Although… you were in your 20s. What’s wrong with trying something new?

You clearly weren’t thinking straight, the alcohol shutting off your most basic brain functions. However, you faintly remember events of the first night you met Rick. You had given into one of his advances, next thing you know, you were in bed.

Next to him.

You heavily regret what you did that night now. Especially when you find out it leads to your misfortune later on. Before you drank with Rick, you had failed to realize just how dangerous he is. He’s a wanted space criminal, an incredibly intelligent space criminal with access to the strongest technology known and not known to man.

You’d think this would all be one fling. Just one night where you happened to be in bed with a man such as him while drunk. Even Rick himself thought you were just a one time thing.

Then he kept thinking about you. He kept thinking of your warmth and your laughter. Sure, you were both drunk and got a bit frisky. He hates the fact he keeps thinking back to you so frequently….

Loneliness was not a new emotion to him. He felt it all the time. Though when he woke up to you, it’s like it wasn’t even there. Then it hit him again like a ton of bricks when your friend had to drag you out the bed to go home. 

He spent nights thinking of you. He even curses his drunk self for not getting your number at the time. Oh well, he has the means to get it whenever he’s ready to. You want to question it when he eventually does get your number, though you were really out of it that night.

Was it really all that wrong of him to want to see you again? You made him feel something he hasn’t felt in years, ever since the incident with Diane….

The more he thinks of you, the more his obsession grows. He tries to ease his yearning by texting or calling you. You try to keep it short, unfortunately, upsetting him greatly….

“It’s awkward, Rick. Even being friends or just acquaintances is strange after what we did-”

Why did you have to be like this? Even when he said he’d do anything for a chance, you still turned it down. You drive him into a desperate state of mind and refuse him, did you like to watch him suffer?

He hates how you make him feel so whole but neglect giving him another taste. Didn't you say yourself you wanted to try something new? He remembers you did, so why back out now? His mind is twisted with the thought of you.

You drive him insane.

While he may still think life is meaningless and cruel, there’s some things within it that aren’t all that bad. Like you, even if you do torture him by not wishing to take things between you even further. Things like this must take time.

Although, Rick is an impatient man. 

Someone as impatient as him, tend to do irrational things.

Murder was nothing new to Rick. If things went wrong here, who says he can’t just go to another dimension to fix things? He didn’t have to do any of this, though why does it matter? 

Even if it means bloodshed, he’s willing to do anything for you since you make him feel so… anxious and excited.

"All this blood? It's all for you! Everything I do is all for you!"

Some sadistic part of him thinks your fear is cute. The fact you stare at him with regret pains him, yet it’ll change soon. You’re just a bit frightened by all the blood. He picked the most brutal weapon to prove a point….

It’s been months since you two first met. You barely talked in person, though texts and calls were frequent. It irritated him how you’d spend more time with the friend that took you to the party instead of him, the guy you spent the night with.

He should be thanking your friend for introducing you, although jealousy does not give you a rational mind. Getting rid of them satiated his jealous thoughts much more than anything else. Plus, it reassured him you’d be alone without him.

“Rick, what is this all about!?”

“Taking you home, baby.”

“Hell no, stay away from me- There’s… so much blood-”

“What did you even see in them, (Y/N)... not like they put up much of a fight.”

“We were together… ONE time, Rick. We partied a bit too hard, that’s all. What has gotten into you? How did you even know where I live!?”

“We can talk about that in time. Look, you’ve made me feel strange these last couple months and it’s made me go crazy. That friend of yours certainly wasn’t helping.”

“Don’t hurt me….”

“Woah- wasn’t planning on it, honey. Honestly… you really should’ve known who you were getting involved with before we did what we did.”

He grins, holstering the weapon he used to kill your friend in front of you with. You were just hanging out…. What have you done?

“Too late to change things now. Now you got me to deal with.”

“Do you think this is funny?”

“I can assure you I’m serious this time.”

You look at him in disbelief, still being defensive. Rick was a madman…. A lunatic who you were a fool enough to engage with.

“(Y/N)... we can do this in a number of ways. You could come willingly, for that I’d at least clean things up and wipe your mind of this memory. Or… you could fight me and I let you keep this memory and just use some other brainwashing technique. There’s really only one option when it comes to me.”

You’re shaking, looking one last time at the body on the floor and back to Rick. The smell of blood is heavy in your nose and your fear increases when it looks like Rick’s impatient. 

Foolishly, months ago, you wanted to try something new….

What choice did you have now?

“... Okay, Rick…”

You keep your gaze on him, standing up. You then feel yourself laugh at the irony of your next sentence, truly losing it at the death of your friend.

“What’s the harm in trying something new?”

[azurlily]

I saw your write for Ymir Fritz? Which shocked me I need to see what that’s like i don’t have any specific prompt so do as you please

Yeah well I never seen anything for Ymir Fritz specification either and I got sad so I decided to write it instead!! I'm only doing SFW because I have more requests I'dlike to get done. If you want to request an NSFW one that's fine. (Ymir Fritz is 23 when she dies just an fyi)(Just a reminder to everyone please dont reblog or repost without credit) This isn't very good because I'm tired and wanted to at least get this done for today.

The Beginning of You and Ymirs Journey

You were young, you didn't know any better than to help a young girl you saw running in the woods. You grabbed and ran with her, you ran till you found a large tree that you hadn't seen before.

She jumped into the hole, and you followed suit. It was wet and you found yourself in water, Ymir still hadn't said anything.

You see her in the murky water and try to help, you feel something crawling at your back and you seeing something near her back too.

It all went black, when you woke up there were dead people. A lot of them, how long had you been asleep?

Where was the girl? You saw her standing next to you crying.

After that it all became a blur, the two of you worked for the king as his titans. He threatened your family to hand you over and they had no choice. You became his soldiers, his titans.

He forced Ymir to have his children. She kept you close on the worst days.

You and Ymir spent the rest of your lives together, you needed eachother. You weren't complete without her. She wasn't complete without you.

When she died, everything changed. The king, in a fit of anger, killed you.

You woke up in sand, it felt cold, but not so cold that it was unbearable. You looked and saw her, she had a small frown on her face.

"You're here?"

You ran to her, and she held you close.

Over time you watched her help create the titans, until you asked, is there a way to go home?

She didn't know. You didn't either, so you looked, you did whatever you could to find a way out. You thought hope was lost until one day.

"Light."

You saw a large beam of light and started running. You grabbed Ymir and started pulling her. She fought you, she said she couldn't leave. She needed to stay. To help.

You didn't listen and pulled her into the light.

You woke up. She woke up. You were in a forest, no, not a random forest. The forest.

The forest from the beginning, you two stared at each other. Was this real? Or another dream?

You jumped on her and kissed her! You were so happy to not be in that desolate wasteland anymore.

You pulled her around and kept walking, until you saw one. A titan, it was 6 meters and staring at the two of you.

It walked right by. Neither of you payed it too much attention and kept walking. It didn't matter where. You were somewhere you could be happy. At least, you were happy. Ymir looked afraid, worried, scared...

It took time but you convinced Ymir this was good. The titans didn't attack you and you were both happy. The two of you could build a life.

You found a small village that was willing to take you in, you lived happily together.

You wondered what happened to the titan shifters though...

Hello, so I wouldn't call this a dating HC but I would call this the beginning of yalls story. The two of you live in a village which is found by Eren and the scouts at some point and he immediately recognizes you two. Things go from there. I wont get into that unless someone wants me to. If not it will just be headcannons about your life in the village, and ect.