#im no music expert just a guy with a lot of thoughts

[sanjisblackasswife]

Hi Timi! I don’t know if you’re request are open and if they’re not then please ignore this! Could I get your thoughts on the monster trio and their music taste please? Also I’m jealous of your set up I want it 😭

A/N: Awe:) Thank u smm :))))❣️ Enjoy!

𝕄𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕣𝕚𝕠’𝕤 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕔 𝕋𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖

Ft. Luffy, Sanji, Zoro

CW: None, Sanji is implied to be in a established relationship (or u can view it as him having a crush on you), Also im not a music expert I listen to the same three songs every single day🧍🏾‍���️, All opinions too so dont fuckin try and add your own or correct mine make ur own damn post abt it

Luffy

Luffy isn’t biased about much so I doubt he’d be biased about music. His playlist can go from Avril Lavenge to friggin Tupac to it doesn’t really matter, it’s always on shuffle too when he listens

A LOT of Eminem (Moreso his Slim Shady Era). Bro really gets hype when he listens to him. Knows the words VERY quickly.

Knuck if You Buck🧍🏾‍♀️….just….don’t ask..just know ..if he plays that song he about to get ignorant.

Missy Elliot. Loves Missy Elliot, loves her songs, style, everything.

Kinda unrelated but he has a celeb crush on Sade and Lauryn Hill. Which he also listens too.

He does love Nicki Minaj. He is a fan, he likes her 2013-16 era the most

Blast Cardi B mostly because Zoro doesn’t like her

MJ LOVEEERRRRRRRRRRRR Absolutely loves “Thriller”, “They Dont Care About Us”, and “Smooth Criminal”🧍🏾‍♀️

Plays alotta krunk songs to battle against Usopp🧍🏾‍♀️

Also he likes alotta ignorant ass TikTok audios: i.e “Island boy”

Mf be walking around the sunny like

“CUZ IM AN ISLAND BOY🗣️ JUST TRY TO MAKE ITTT ITTTTT!”

also

also

“GIRL WHERE YA GOIN”

and here go Usopp: “HMMMM YAAAA BRING DAT ASS BACK HERE”

and here go Chopper because he wanna be included: “HMMM 🅰️🅰️🅰️!”

🧍🏾‍♀️

BUT SEAN PAUL IS HIS MF GO TO. If you dance with him to any of his songs be prepared for Luffy to grind against you…it’s so attractive when he sings the song because his accent peaks through

Sanji

Very old school R&B, classical guy.

He also loves a few Megan the Stallion Songs

Another hardcore MJ fan, plays a lot during the evening

Another song he loves is Jealous by Labrinth. It’s something he usually plays when he is on the deck smoking and thinking.

Same with Jorja Smith he loves her songs as well

If you can catch it, while Sanji is cooking you can sometimes hear him sing Love Story by Indlia and it’s the prettiest voice you’ll ever hear.

He also plays songs like Tadow and Infruanami. They’re his new faves.

Will play them old school songs like Just The Two of Us and some Al Green

He has such an old soul😭

He really plays them because they remind him of you, but three songs that reminds him of you (besides all of ‘em) are Easily by Bruno Major, Dark Red by Steve Lacy, and Not Around by Nova

Also loves Teynna Taylor and Rihanna sm

A “guilty pleasure” song he loves to hear is that one song that go like “my neck my back lick my 🐱 and my crack”🧍🏾‍♀️

and yes he made you a playlist

also yes he has a playlist for when he has sex (it’s really good actually)

Zoro

“IM THE PREDATOR—-“

I’m sorry.

Just kidding.

Eh. Zoro just hates Cardi B songs.

Dont ask why he just does they irritate him.

Anyways ummmmmm he listens to chill lo-fi. He does he is a very simple guy. There are a few Lauryn Hill songs he vibes too, a few very chill R&B

I actually don’t see him listening to anything very loud like rock music or anything. If he is ganna listen to music while working out he needs to be as focused and relaxed as he can.

Somehow always finds THE BEST underground jazz/R&B artist???

Like his playlist is SO interesting and filled with hidden gems

He like SZA on the low

Luffy put him on

Vibes to Brent Faiyaz when he is just chilling cleaning his swords

He doesn’t listen to music much in the first place but it’s cute to hear him mutter the songs to himself when he does.

[punkymonkeehat]

Danny Phantom Cryptid AU! Should I put the fanfic on AO3 or Fanfiction.net? I'm still a new fanfic writer so idk where the hip places are for posting. Let me know what you think though! :) here's a scene of Sam researching a new anomaly!!

-------------------------------------------------

Sam stretched her arms and back, sighing as she felt the pops of her bones. She was hunched over her laptop for hours researching the anomaly they saw earlier that day. Luckily, she would have no distractions due to the boys tracking down information on it to classify it. It had been a while since she was by herself, and she was grateful for it.

Droning goth music danced from her speakers. She kept it low enough so it wasn't too loud, but just enough to fill her head. Music always helped her focus. Sam reached for the veggie platter she bought that morning when they three friends went grocery shopping to replenish the van. She was able to get some oat milk and veggie burgers, finally having a little healthier of a snack than vegan chocolates and veggie fries. It always surprised her how much junk food she could eat with her diet.

Sam scrolled through the website, pausing for a moment. "Interesting..." She murmered, removing the pen from her ear and scribbling down the information. "A dual minded ghost. I wonder...?" She tapped the pen on her lower lip, scrolling again.

"The Ghost of Liberty Library is said to split in two, with different halves possessing its own unique ghostly energy. When split, the entity has been seen with two opposing ecto-signatures, where the one had a somber pulse, and the other had a more aggressive pulse. When ghost hunters have encountered the dual ghosts, they were coaxed in by a crying half, only to be chased out of the building or have strongly negative interactions with the other half. The Ghosts have never been seen completely alone and have often been seen as one singular entity. When combined, the spiritual energy in the location is too intense to bare, and most ghost hunters refrain from entering the premises."

"Hmmm..." Sam thought. "This might be tricky..." She pulled out her phone, ready to dial an expert in entity type, and stopped after spying a familiar number. She couldn't help but smile and open the text

"Miss you 💓🌹💗"

It was Paulina. She also sent a picture of her and her friend Star at a concert, both with big smiles on their faces and peace signs. Sam messaged back.

"Miss you too. Hope you're having fun! Let me.know when you get home safe 🖤🦇"

After a small pause and a sigh, she went back to work, dialing another number. The phone rang about three times until the person on the other side picked up.

"This is Valerie."

"Valerie, hey! It's Sam."

"Oh hey Sam! It's been a while since I've heard from you guys." The excitement in her voice was bright. "Where are you guys now? How are the others? Danny hasn't pissed any entity off from talking too much yet, right? And has Tuck finally worn that new beret i sent with the last care package?" Sam laughed, smiling big. It had been almost two months since their last conversation. With being in so many dead zones, it was close to impossible to keep a good signal. Luckily, the gas station parking lot they settled in for the night at had wifi and a solid four bars.

"They've been fine, but still the same old Danny and Tuck. Luckily, Danny hasn't caused any more issues than he usually does... although, when we were studying a gathering of small gnomes in Northern Nevada, he accidentally tripped on their king. You can't really come back from something like that." Laughter bellowed out from the phone. "And Tuck loves the new beret. He hasn't taken it off since he got it!"

"Good! I paid a good amount for it!"

"We're currently at a gas station in Eastern Colorado. It's probably the most drab place we've been to so far. I didn't know there were some places without telephone poles... im glad this place has some service and decent wifi." Sam could hear the smile and humor in Valerie's response.

"There's a reason you don't hear too much about the area. Tell me when you see a coyote and a roadrunner."

"You'll be the first to know," Sam said, with a half smile. She lifted her paper to look at her notes. "The reason I called is to ask you about a ghost category. We're currently investigating a case out here and got a blip on the Fenton Finder. It's a new anomaly, which means it's from the portal explosion, so we're planning on cleaning up the damage. The only thing is, though, this ghost is a dual-minded ghost. It's two ghosts that are also one. I haven't seen anything like it before and the sites and books I have haven't given me any more information." Sam switched the phone to her other ear. " I'm not sure how we should address it without some kind of idea of what we're dealing with. Have you run into something like this before?" There was a small pause and a ruffling of papers on the other end. Usually a good sign...

"Hmmmm... I'd be lying if I said I hadn't heard of it. There aren't many cases like it. I haven't seen any in my hunts, though, not even in the ghost zone, but according to one of my papers, it's more than likely an entwined energy issue. Now, that could mean they were bonded in real life, past lives, molded together after the explosion, which may be the most likely option, any meddling of other entities, or even an intentional entwining." Sam shuddered at the idea. Two souls forced to always stay together was a horrifying prospect. "How does it respond to the human world?" Sam finished writing down the information before answering. She told the other in detail what she had learned.

"That sounds... intense. My guess is a couple from the past? Maybe some grief between the two? The aggressive part might be what is protecting the somber part from harm? Being able to separate is unique, though... Let me do some more research and ask around. There has to be another hunter that may know about this. Maybe see if Danny could communicate with his ghostly friends?"

"I'll ask him when he gets back. Thanks, Val! I'll let you know if I find any more information that'll help."

"Anytime, Sam, and back at ya. Tell the others I say hi?"

"Of course."

After their good byes, Sam turned back to the computer. Most sites said the same thing over and over again, repeating the same story with the same sightings. She rolled her eyes. "They keep stealing from each other..." She mumbled, scrolling more. After about a half hour, there was a swift knock on the van's back door before it flew open. Danny and Tucker climbed into the back, hauling in their gear.

"Hey guys, I just called Val, and she says-"

"The guy's a loony!" Danny growled, kicking his shoes off his feet. "An absolute fruit loop."

"We seem to keep finding them. I blame you for being half ghost." Tucker responded, opening the mini fridge they hooked up to their makeshift home. Danny gave him a confused look.

"What's that got to do with anything?" He asked, changing his shirt. He threw the dirty one on the coach and wrestled the clean one on.

"Hello? Weird attracts weird!" Tucker said, rolling his eyes. He opened up a container and snagged a spoon. "Dude, I mean, half your friends are also ghosts."

"You're one to talk..." The dirty shirt flew and landed on Tuckers head. "Mr. 'I'm-obsessed-with-technology-and-can't-function-without-even-a-pager'." Tucker tore the shirt off his head and glared at the other. He put his container down and started towards Danny, putting him in a headlock. Right as he did so, and as the roigh housing began, Sam sighed and hit her head onto the table.

And just like that, all of her peace and quietness was gone.

[rivaiin]

finally finished y8. thoughts below

im having a lot of mixed feelings. in general the game was fantastic. i honestly enjoyed every hour i put into it So much. i love the formula these games have and they just never disappoint me. the gameplay was super fun all throught the game like its really improved from y7 hawaii is cool the music was Fantastic the entire game and its just. it was an enjoyable experience. a wonderful entry in a series full of wonderful entries

some complaints tho. i was completely sure they were killing off kiryu coming in cause to me its what makes the most sense narratively. the guy is a fucking beast and an expert at stealing the show. which is exactly what happened. while kiryu is alive ichi will never truly be the protagonist of the series. and like. i dont mind that. weve had games with multiple protagonists and they work well. but this all feels like making up for the rushed ending kiryu got in y6 and backtracking on making a new protag for the series instead of fully commiting to ichi. am i glad kiryu didnt die? im not sure. cause theyve set everything up to have him appear on another game so itll depend on what they do next. i am glad that theyve dropped the daidoji stuff and that haruka will most likely appear again cause after all this time if they had him die alone and miserable it wouldve been absolutely terrible. like i guess thats the issue with kiryu in general. hes so big and hes been around for so long that like. what do you do with a character like that. how do you let him go without disappointing everyone but also. how do you keep him around without making him the center of everything. it really feels like theyve written themselves into a corner

i feel like ichis plot was kind of rushed or at least more barebones than expected. like this feels more like a kiryu game than anything else. the guy meets him mom for the first time in his life and they have so little time together. the stuff with palekana and lani feels like an afterthought. theres barely any mention of the fact that hes ebinas half brother??? like whats he gonna do now. they dont even show anything about that. will he stay in hawaii with his mom. will he stay in japan and continue with the dissolution bussiness? are daigo and co gonna help. is kiryu gonna help???? i guess well see in y9

Anyways some good stuff now. kiryus final segment was So good and hype. the jimas showing up to help. that little fight with them as support. the fight with ebina. very good. i also enjoyed ichis part but i feel it was a bit weaker (except for the part where chitose does her thing. shes my most specialest girl in the world. i hope they keep her for the next 10 games)

i would love to be able to comment on the post game content cause i enjoyed that in y7 a lot but sadly. its dlc and im not gonna get that until its very very cheap on sale :^)

[2xhbergggg]

So here’s my take on this: When I was younger my parents used to play a lot of the Beetles and sometimes Queen as well. When I was really young I loved them and then as I got older I discovered pop music (not even good pop music I’m talking like mid pop music) and thought it was everything.

Now I started watching good omens with one of my best friends back in November and was just like yeah this is pretty good whatever. Around that time I took a trip to visit family and it made me go back and listen to the Beetles. When I got home I finished Good Omens and it became a hyperfixation. I decided to listen to more Queen because of it because I know they are great but rock has never been my main thing. Now I really love Queen. I’m not an expert, I don’t know every song, but I love their music. I have also listened to some other bands one other peoples character playlists for Gomens (like the Velvet Underground). I don’t think it’s bad to discover things you like because it’s in popular media. Sometimes it takes something you already enjoy to make you want to explore a band or artist or whatever (not just a recommendation from a friend) and you know what? I think that’s fine. It doesn’t matter much where we find the music we like. Let’s just let people enjoy stuff instead of shaming them for where they found it. I appreciate @im-the-j-in-anthony-j-crowley for being someone in the rock community who gets that. Also if any of you guys have band recs for me I’ll totally check them out (I have artists I already like and listen to in my pinned post :)

My point: Let’s just drop the gatekeeping and let people enjoy things. It doesn’t matter how you get there it matters what you like the music, okay?

Can we stop gatekeeping music?

I have just gotten into the Good Omens fandom and that has made me listen to Queen. Obv I knew about Queen before and had heard a few songs before but this was the first time I actually felt like "Yeah, I really like this, I wanna listen to them more" I was bit hesitant bc I didn't want to at some point telll people that the reason I like Queen is bc a TV show/ a book but eventually I just tought, ah, who cares and searched for a playlist. The first comment I see is someone asking if anyone is there bc Queen is a great band and not bc a tv show or game or something else. One of the replies was like "yeah, some of us can think for ourselves and not have to be directed"

???

We both like the band, I just happened to discover it from a show, why does that make me a worse person somehow???

[trislosherfan25]

Radiohead Fun Facts <3

Fun fact about Radiohead: I know none of the names of the guys and i only know what the one singer guy’s face looks like bc i saw it once somewhere

Fun fact 2: I should probably learn about the individual guys but I don’t because I dont really care that much

Fun fact 3: i should learn abt the bassist tho bc im a bassist and he’s a pretty good bassist so maybe i could learn a thing or two (like this guy is a REALLY good bassist)

OKAY NOW IM GONNA TALK ABT THE ALBUMS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER BUT ONLY THE ONES IVE LISTNED TO

Pablo Honey (1993) - this one is Radiohead's first album and tbh it’s not very good. even if you don’t listen to this band or care about them you probably know the song Creep which is on there. tbh that’s probably the best song on the album and the Radiohead guys themselves don’t even like it that much. They were like “Creep? more like Crap!” (tbh the song isn’t *that* bad, just nowhere near as good as their later music) I’ve tried to get through this album a couple times but i could never do it bc it’s just not that good!!! It seems like it was riding off the grunge wave that was really popular at the time. This means not only did the album not have that much of an original sound but also there were tons of other bands doing this sort of thing and doing it better. Creep is probably the song that has the most unique sound compared to the rest of that album. Also grunge (while more of an era than a genre) is mostly known for who it was sparked by, Nirvana, and Nirvana is punk rock through and through. The Radiohead guys are way to big of nerds to do punk rock. The Bends (1995) - this is Radiohead’s second album and I like this one a lot. It bares some similarities to Pablo Honey in terms of keeping with a little bit more of a rock sound but it doesn’t feel like it’s trying to copy anybody. The lyrics on this album are WAYYYYY better. Like a vast vast improvement. The guitar solos are much better too. The most popular songs on this album I’d say are High and Dry as well as Fake Plastic Trees, these also are probably my least favorite songs on the album because they’re slower and I don’t like the vocals in them as much as other songs. My favorite songs from this album are Just, My Iron Lung, and (Nice Dream), these ones all have more of a rock element than the ones I mentioned previously and the instrumental parts are So Good! Even though I think this album is a vast improvement from the first it still doesn’t completely have it’s own unique sound just yet. I don’t see that as much as a hinderance on this album, just something that puts it below some of the later albums.  OK Computer (1997) - THIS ALBUM! This is the album where Radiohead really comes into their own sound, it still has that rock element but it feels different. All the little details and textures in their sound come together in this great album and puts Radiohead on a clear track for where the rest of their sound ends up in later albums. This album seems to be *The* Radiohead album that most people would know them for beyond knowing them for the song Creep. This album also is pretty special/nostalgic to me because it was the first Radiohead album I listened to. Deadass I spent most of my middle school years listening to that album on and old hand-me-down mp3 player my dad gave me that just had his old music saved to it. I don’t know if i have a least favorite song on the album, all the songs on this album are really good if I’m being honest. If I had to pick a few favorites I’d say they would be Exit Music (For A Film) and Paranoid Android, I like these songs because they feel like they’ve got a lot of story to them just shown through the instrumentals and everything. Also fun fact! I know the bass part to Paranoid Android, it’s still difficult at some parts for me to play but I still love it.  Kid A (2000) - Okay ngl I still haven’t given this one a good listen just yet. I’ve listened to the thing in full maybe once or twice but I don’t remember it well. I have listened to the songs Everything In Its Right Place and How to Disappear Completely quite a few times tho and these songs are amazing. From what I’ve heard from this album/remember from it it seems like a pretty logical next step sound wise from the last album going into the next one. It’s not completely different from OK Computer but it’s definitely it’s own unique thing. The songs on this album are a bit more depressing and more of them seem to be slower and more experimental. You also see a stronger ambient element enter Radiohead’s music here. Amnesiac (2001) - DREAD!! DEVESTATION!!!! This album is really good, I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite album but by god it is a good fuckin album. I’ve listened to this one in full quite a few times in full but it’s been a while since I’ve done that (I’ve just been listening to a song or two from it every so often) because when I first gave this album a full listen I was at a pretty low place. This album has the strongest ambient element Radiohead’s music has had so far, the sound is slower, darker, and heavier. It feels like you’re sitting in the cold rain just soaking wet and not moving at all. The songs are even more depressing too tbh. Once again I don’t have a least favorite song on this album, at least not one that I can remember. My favorite songs would probably be Knives Out, I Might Be Wrong, and You And Whose Army? Top 10 bangers to listen to while absolutely falling apart imo 10/10

Hail To the Thief (2003) - This album is also really good, I actually own this one on vinyl. This album sees that distorted rock element come back a little but this album does have some of the ambient vibe to it as well. It feels a bit more experimental and emotions wise it feels angrier than other albums, not in a punk rock kind of way but just in feeling. I think this album starts to have some crazier rhythms, I’m not sure how to describe it. It feels more advanced than some of their previous music. Some of the songs on this album I’m not the biggest fan of but they’re still good songs it’s just some of the other songs on this album really outshine some others. My favorites from this album are 2 + 2 = 5, Backdrifts, There, There, and Myxomatosis. If I’m being honest while I do like this album a lot I don’t have too many strong feelings about it.

In Rainbows (2007) - OH MY GOD!!! THIS ALBUM!! OH MY GOD!! I love it so much it’s so beautiful. It really encompasses everything I love about Radiohead it’s almost hard to describe. The rhythms are hypnotic, the lyrics are great, the vocals are stellar, the instrumentals- just oh my god I love it to death. I own this one of vinyl and it puts me in a trance whenever I listen to it. There are different emotions in each song on this album but it never falters. It reminds me of something my dad said once where we were listening to a song and he said “just ride the wave” - this is that type of music, the kind of music where you just sit back and ride the wave. I love every single song on this album but Weird Fishes/Arpeggi and Jigsaw Falling Into Place are my top picks for this album. I’ve been working on learning the bass part to Jigsaw Falling Into Place and while I’m not musically literate enough to express exactly what’s happening in this song because I’m not a fucking nerd but I can say that playing this song is like riding the wave, it’s not exact or repetitive but it moves and flows perfectly with the song. Learning music like this as a bassist has taught me to think differently about my own playing. It’s hard for me to pick a favorite Radiohead album for many reasons but if you put a gun to my head and made me choose one I’d say this one is it. 

A Moon Shaped Pool (2016) - There’s a big time skip here because I haven’t listened to The King of Limbs which came out in 2011 but the sound of this album is definitely something that seems like a more evolved version of what Radiohead did on In Rainbows. Holy shit though, this album. THIS ALBUM. This album fucking knocks it out of the park it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever listened to. A lot of people like to say this is Radiohead’s most depressing album, they’re wrong, I can’t speak to albums I haven’t listened to but I can say that Amnesiac is much more depressing than this album. I would call this Radiohead’s saddest album, it has that feeling to it but it’s not draining to listen to in the way that depressing music can be. While the album is sad it also brings me a feeling of peace when I listen to it (though this could be in part because of the associations I have with this album from the first time I listened to it). While In Rainbows is like riding the wave I’d say this album is like floating in dark water, its got that sense of flow while being more gentle about it. The first song on the album, Burn the Witch, doesn’t seem to fit in perfectly with the rest of the music but it’s not a completely jarring difference from the rest of the songs either so I don’t see it as any sort of hindrance on the quality of the album. Once again I love every song on this album, they’re all beautiful and ethereal, but my top picks would have to be Decks Dark and Present Tense. One of my most favorite things about this album is how every song seems to flow into the next, it really is the sort of album that’s meant to be listened to in order and as an entire piece of art. I really appreciate albums that do that sort of thing.

Alright those are my Radiohead thoughts for the time being. I haven’t listened to In Rainbows (Disk 2) or The King of Limbs in full, I haven’t really listened to Kid A much either but I figured it was important to mention anyway bc people talk about that one so much. I also didn’t mention any singles or EPs just bc I haven’t listened to all of them and didn’t feel like talking abt the ones I have listened to. 

IF YOU READ THIS FAR WE CAN MAKEOUT!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR READING!!!

[hurricaneonanesthesia]

Hellooo! Can I request a Chamber, Sova, Yoru, and Cypher reacting to an agent s/o who can play an instrument and they would make songs for them? Tysm in advance!! ^^

Warnings: slight angst in cypher, but only a little bit

Genre: fluff

Pairing(s): Chamber x GN!Reader, Sova x GN!Reader, Yoru x GN!Reader, Cypher x GN!Reader

Authors Notes: AAAA YOU GUYS IM SO SORRY IM TAKING FOREVER WITH MY REQUESTS, I SWEAR IM NOT DEAD 😭

_______________

Chamber

Chamber is also a man of many talents. Honestly I feel like he’d also be able to play the piano, but he’s probably never tried to compose any songs himself.

He’s touched by the thought that you’d dedicate your free time to creating original songs for him, and asks that you sing it for him if he just came back from a particularly stressful mission or if he’s really tired.

He’ll lay his head in your lap as he listens to you, a smile on his face. It’s not like the typical cocky one he usually has on when he lets out a snarky remark, but a smile that he reserves just for you. One that you know that he’s being genuine. 

If you want to, he’ll even accompany you on the piano, playing matching chords that he feels is fitting. 

Sova

This man is ridiculously soft for you, like he has this sappy grin on his face while he watches you work your magic.

He especially likes comparing how meticulous you are with any stringed instruments that you play to him with his bow. Sova is impressed by just how dedicated you are to what you do.

He loves the songs that you make for him. He doesn’t really understand it but he kind of gets the feeling that he’s exactly where he’s supposed to be, which is by your side.

He’ll record your music for you, so then the two of you can just dance to it together, even if you’re a little embarrassed.

Yoru

He’s the type of person to try and play it off as if he’s not that impressed but in actuality, he has all your music saved and he added it to his playlists.

If you ask him if he was listening to the songs you made for him, he’ll deny it, but the faint blush on his face says otherwise.

You weren’t by any means an expert in music like JPop, but you certainly wanted to try your best to add some electro pop and a little bit of RnB into your music to suit his music tastes a bit better.

Sometimes if you sneak in on him working out and you catch him with his headphones on, you can hear him humming the melody of your most recently composed song cause he probably has it on loop. 

Cypher

He used to spend a lot of time with Nora and his little girl, so hearing you sing for him brings back fond memories but also the painful clenching in his heart.

He holds you close, as he listens to you hum in his ear. It’s been so long since he’s been able to open up so vulnerably to someone like this, so it feels nice. 

Cypher has such a nice voice, I’m sure he’s a fantastic singer. Sometimes, he’ll duet with you because he enjoys bonding with you.

If he ever has difficulty sleeping when you force him to, he’ll ask you to sing your song for him

_______________

Reminder that my requests are open! Be sure to send something my way if you’re interested! Requesting Rules are here!

Want more of my writing? Be sure to check out my masterlist. Wanna know what else I’ll write for? Here you go!

Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!

[shishikusas]

ok so idk if you already know this but puppy lover on yt recently left their masa channel. truly the end of an era. but in their last video they asked for honest opinions on masa so I’m throwing my two cents to like the only other active masa blog on here hope you don’t mind👉👈 (if you don’t wanna read it just skip) what’s your opinion on mass’s songs lately??

So I really really love the onibi, sister and secret series. And ya I agree with a lot of the comments there— masa’s songs are lacking nowadays. He’s still a great guy, but all his songs sound the exact same (I believe it’s edm??) His old content was more original and actually had better pv’s.

But more than that for me they had better storyline. The onibi series had really deep lore, the sister series had a lot, the secret series had a bit too, and maha was full of it. That being said nowadays all of his songs share the same three themes of dr1nks, dr*gs and s3x. There’s no originality which made onibi such a hit. They’re all parodying off each other.

Also is it just me or is the anatomy on the newer videos a bit…off?? It seems like he’s emphasizing certain parts more than others and it makes the whole thing look a bit disproportionate. Idk if it’s just me, I’m not an expert by any means.

That being said, it’s not like his new content is bad by any means, it’s cool to listen to. And it’s nice. For a couple of times. It’s kinda insipid after that.

tldr masa’s old stuff was better than his new for me, and I miss it a lot. He’s still a good guy and the new music is cool but the onibi, sister and secret series will always have a place in my heart.

i just posted a comment on the video on puppy's channel, so i will copy it here:

i'll be completely honest in my opinion here. masa's stuff has not gotten worse, it has just changed and i still love it and listen to it, and it really disheartens me when people leave bc i feel like im just wandering around in a desert. like where did all the people go :( the community was so bustling in 2016-2019 and it just feels abandoned now.

there are some things i can agree on though. there was a time in 2019-2020 ish where i thought he wasn't living up to his full potential, or he was trying to create new stuff and hadn't gotten it completely down yet. and yes, it's easy to look through the lenses of nostalgia and miss all the lore stuff he used to do - i mean i fucking love the onibi series and all its lore but we probably aren't going to get another blog update for a loooong time.

but the reality is that masa is a different person now than he was in the early 2010s. he started creating music when he was 20 years old, and he's 32 now - that's a huge difference, he's a fully fledged adult now and probably has a lot more things to do and work on than what he used to. that's not even talking about the money aspect! obviously we know next to nothing about his personal life but he either has another job outside of making music or he relies on making these songs to support himself, and neither are conducive to making elaborate PVs or complicated lore (both which i know people revere him for and miss the most). instead he focuses on making the music he wants and PVs that fit his time, which by the way include MUCH higher quality art than in the past. idc what anyone says his anatomy was WAY wonkier back then than it is now.

im rambling, but ig my point is masa's changed, and it's an okay thing. his new EP, INSOMNIA, is really an amazing piece of work and feels kind of like the 'old' masa and i've listened to it many times on repeat, but it's not the same as the masa people became fans of him for. it's okay if you don't like it but i do, and i probably always will. unless he starts making country music or smth ;)

TLDR: i love masa's music even now and understand that his style has become much different than before, and there's many reasons for that.. he holds such a big place in my heart and i will support him thru his endeavors!

[omegalomania]

hi!! just saw your post abt brendon and all the shit p!atd has covered up and i honestly feel so sick :// i have a question tho bc as much as i hate them now and wanna distance from them, i genuinely love some of their music but also i cant listen to it w/o being sick but i wanna enjoy the music solely yknow? dyou know how i could do that lol bc im gonna be sad if i can never listen to their songs the same way again

i cant say im an expert on any of this and it's hard because im of two minds. on one hand, yes, i love the idea of death of the author and reclaiming a work from a shitty person. on the other hand...i dont like the idea of continuing to validate that shitty persons work and maintain that persons relevance in the public eye, especially if it means that they get to coast off of that relevance and dodge consequences for their shit actions!

what muddies the issues so much with panic is that despite how much the marketing has pushed this idea...panic really isn't and never has been solely the brendon urie show. the band was started between two childhood friends (ryan ross and spencer smith). the band managed to exist because the original bassist, brent wilson, happened to know brendon urie and thought he could sing. the band got a record deal because ryan ross bothered pete wentz on livejournal enough times. panic at the disco got a career because pete wentz decided to take a chance on these kids from vegas and create an entire label to sign them. a fever you can't sweat out exists because of ryan ross and spencer smith as much as it does because of brendon urie. pretty odd exists because of jon walker and ryan ross and spencer smith as much as it does because of brendon urie. vices & virtues exists because of spencer smith and pete wentz and dallon weekes as much as it does because of brendon urie. too weird to live, too rare to die exists because of spencer smith and dallon weekes as much as it does because of brendon urie. death of a bachelor exists because of lolo as much as it does because of brendon urie. pray for the wicked exists because of brendon's 43 writers (yes, really, i counted, it has that many credited lmao) as much as it does because of the guy himself. all these records exist because of the producers and engineers that worked on them just as much as they do because of brendon urie, if not more so.

i don't want to downplay how many other hands have been involved in the machine of panic. brendon is not and never has been its sole engineer, no matter how much he's billed as the central creative mind. and i don't want to erase or dismiss how many other people contributed to that art because the one guy who owns the title now happens to be a garbage person, particularly since brendon didn't start the band to begin with! for however shit he was treated in the band, dallon has stated that he's still proud of a lot of the instrumentation and lyricism he put on too weird, and i want to still recognize a lot of that record as something i can admire.

for my part, i've still got a few panic albums on my ipod. i didn't...actually buy them because i was a broke college student when i got my hands on them lol so i didn't actually ever give the guy my money. and it's hard to listen to them now for the most part. i don't stream panic stuff, i don't give it views. if i listen to the older stuff, i do it on my own time and as isolated from statistics as possible. i don't support brendon voluntarily in any way and the only times i discuss him is to dunk on him mercilessly because he deserves it lol

i wish i had a better answer for you that could give you peace of mind, anon. the sad fact is that it's not a simple issue because the simplest part of the issue - that brendon urie is a sack of shit - is frustrated by the fact that he took ownership of a band that was never really his to begin with, and performs songs that he never actually wrote drawing from situations he never personally lived.

[koolkat9]

So i had a GerEng thought and of course im going to come and share it with you.

So i was drawing both 2p and 1ps (side to side for comparison) and the thought i had was:

How would 2p!Germany(Lutz) and Arthur be like? I had the same thought with Oliver and Ludwig. But focusing on Lutz and Arthur at the moment.

For me at least, Lutz has major golden retriever energy like man is on the go all the time. And i feel like Arthur would be overwhelmed at first but would get used to it (also Lutz would tone it down a tad too).

I think the relationship is full of major puppy love, especially from Lutz. And at this moment i cant really think of more 😓.

Also this is just Golden Retriever boyfriend x Goth (or punk technically)

LutOh hell yes! A great thing about regular GerEng is its big cat bf x dog bf. This is even more so with Lutz. 

He is a himbo, golden retriever through and through while Arthur is a grumpy old cat. Opposites, but really cute. 

When Lutz wants to befriend someone, he will do everything to spend time with them. He also tends to gravitate towards grumpy people because he wants to make them smile (which is why he’s best friends with 2p Italy, one of the grumpiest of the 2p cast). So when the world merging happens, Lutz sets his sights on Arthur. 

Ludwig is having a lot of meetings with Arthur, trying to figure out how to seperate the worlds again though that plan later changes to figuring out how they’ll coexist with two nation representatives. Anyway, Ludwig does not trust leaving Lutz at home (because the 2ps are living with their 1ps for the time being) because he seems to have a nose for trouble. 

Anyway, while Arthur is working on plans/spells/magic, Lutz decides to keep him company, talking his ear off, cracking jokes, offering to help, etc. At first Arthur finds it annoying and snaps at him a few times, but eventually he finds it amusing and sweet. 

Lutz would probably test Arthur’s patience sometimes, but Arthur could never stay mad at him for long. He knows Lutz only has good intentions and he has the most adorable guilty face, so Arthur can’t stay mad.

Lutz is very clingy, cuddly and affectionate, anytime, anywhere. Arthur acts like he’s annoyed by it, but he loves feeling wanted and Lutz is happy to give him that feeling.

Lutz loves to carry Arthur around. Arthur on the other hand finds it embarrassing, but he also kind of likes it. He's getting use to it though he definitely isn't ready for it to go beyond when it's just them.

Though Lutz may be physically strong, he's extremely naive which makes Arthur pretty protective of him. He just doesn't want Lutz's extreme loyalty and trust to be taken advantage of.

Lutz on the other hand is protective of Arthur when it counts. Normally he's a chill and friendly guy, but if Arthur is in danger, Lutz would not hesitate to swoop in. If someone hurt Arthur they would not want to be left alone with Lutz. It takes a bit of proding but Lutz has a temper.

Lutz is afraid of dogs. Arthur is helping him get over it.

Lutz cannot sit still. If you want to get him to stay in one place, you have to give him something to focus on. Art hur has become an expert at this, putting on music, a movie, cuddling and talking, and fidget toys. 

Lutz, like Ludwig, shows his love through acts of service. He’ll help Arthur in the garden, with house work, etc. Arthur shows his love through gifts, specifically hand made ones. Lutz especially loves Arthur’s woodwork, though Arthur is the least experienced in that craft. Lutz even keeps the pieces Arthur messed up on and discards because he thinks every piece is beautiful in their own way. He also helps Arthur bandage up any cuts and injuries he gets while working. 

Lutz knows exactly how to make Arthur laugh. Lutz still gets butterflies whenever Arthur laugh. 

Honestly, they’re really cute and I now love them. Thank you!

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Miles Morales’ Older Sibling

Miles Morales x sibling!reader

warnings:

a/n: sorry if the spanish text is wrong i was using google translate 😌 these hcs were a lot better in my head 😪 i might redo these again later

prompt: y/n is miles’ older sibling

as your brother’s older sibling, you were sort of his protector and keeper

especially since your mother and father worked some demanding jobs (bonus if y/n wants to be a firefighter??)

“miles, do your laundry”

“miles, take out the trash”

“miles, go to bed”

he was exhausted by you

but it wasn’t all chores and instructions, the two of you were close (as close as siblings could be)

“y/n, wanna throw up some of my stickers before dad gets home?”

“we should make it a game”

“how so?”

“whoever gets more up before time runs out wins?”

“you’re on”

you guys were known to get competitive at times

you usually won, but sometimes you’d let him win

especially when you were younger

“mamá, ¡y/n me ganó en wii otra vez!” (mom, y/n beat me on wii again!)

“solo tienes que practicar mas, mi amor” (you just have to practice more, my love)

miles grew up admiring you a lot

and you were really proud of him

even though you did have your quarrels as siblings

“it’s my turn to use the remote!”

“oldest gets first dibs!”

helping him out with his homework (when he needed it, of course)

soon enough that kid didn’t need it any more

miles hung out with uncle aaron a whole lot

which got in the way of your plans sometimes :/

“see you later, y/n, going to uncle aaron’s tonight! te amo!”

“te amo!”

he has a tendency to ignore mama and dad, but he always checked in with you

“you hear from miles recently, y/n?”

“yeah, he’s...out”

you didn’t like to snitch on him

“alright, ask if he’s going to be home for dinner”

young miles and you shared a room back in the day, meaning when he was scared/upset, he’d be in your bed

and he shifted a lot in his sleep, so you’d wake up to his feet in your face half the time

walking miles to school

sometimes he’d beg you to so that he didn’t have to get into your dad’s cop car

things started to change once he got into visions academy

obviously, he hated it, but you kept having to encourage him

“miles, you got an amazing opportunity, dont waste it”

“you wouldn’t understand, y/n, it sucks over there”

“you can call me anytime, hermanito, i’ll see you on friday”

friday night was family night

you’d catch up on each other’s weeks and just have a good time together

miles and you listened to music together, you were much better at remembering the words than he was

“come on miles, it’s not that hard! it’s ‘she was a bad bad, nevertheless’”

he still would miss the lyric and mumble it instead

and then he disappeared for a few days

just...no contact

it was unusual

you called and texted him over and over

“miles? yeah, it’s y/n. just checking in, havent heard from you in a while. is everything alright? call me back”

y/n😎: hey, hermanito, can you text me back? mama and dad are getting kind of worried..?

uncle aaron died and you didn’t know how to break it to him, your dad insisted he should be the one to tel your brother

things got crazy in brooklyn and it just worried you more and more

“i’m sure he’s okay, querid(o/a), he’s just at that age”

“i know, mama, i just wish he’d talk to me”

and then you got a phonecall from him

“miles?! hey, what’s going on? why haven’t you been answering me?”

“sorry, y/n. life got a little crazy. are you mad?”

“i might be”

miles didn’t keep his secret for long, though

the first chance he got to tell you about spider-man, he did

“okay, so you know how there’s a new spider-man right?”

“right”

“what are your thoughts?”

“uh...he’s cool, i guess?”

“okay, well im about to blow your mind”

he jumped on the ceiling and you almost fainted

“shhh, dont tell mama and dad”

“dude, that’s crazy! how did this happen?”

“i’m just that cool”

“yeah, right!”

after the news, you did get worried about him a lot, but you found comfort in seeing him swing above the crowds every once in a while

you did trust that he’d be able to take care of himself, though

well, spider-man could take care of himself

miles still needed some of your expert guidance

but he was growing up 🥺

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 4 - Covid 19's effect on the entertainment industry.

*note: this episode was recorded in March 2020*

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, starting this edition of the freedom of expression. Joe san, Tasai san, lets start once again.

J, T: Please

K: Well, well, well!

J: Well, well, well indeed!

K: Agh, things have really gotten tough.

J: Yeah, its tough. Its like this in the media too, when you meet anyone in our industry, if you speak to them its always, 'how is corona affecting you?', isnt it?

K: Thats right..

J: There is never a day where we don't talk about it.

K: *To Tasai* How is it at Tokyo Sports?

T: Well, most of the news is about corona..

J: I bet

K: Well, everywhere is like that, isnt it.

T: It seems like 80 or 90% is about corona at the moment. Entertainment events are being canceled one after the other, the places where we can go to report are disappearing.

K: Right

K: Do you (at Tokyo Sports) have any new ways to get through this?

T: Well, there really has been a lot of corona related news. For example, opportunistic scammers, people lying about the virus being in the sewers and scamming money off others. Or for example, up-and-coming new talets are losing work and have zero income, or the problem of people re-selling masks...this kind of thing is happening a lot.

J: This is really difficult..

Kami: Hello?

J: Oh, he's here!

Kami: Hello? Um, If you write articles about corona, can you sell a lot?

T: Can we sell a lot? Hmm, well its difficult...economic activity is getting stagnant so selling a lot is just making up for our losses. It feels more like sustaining ourselves.

Kami: Ahh

K: People want information right?

T: Well, yes.

K:Hmm, yeah. Theres a lot of info out there which is fanning the fear.

J: Yes, yes, yes, I think so too.

K: Of course, urging caution, or warning people  about where is dangerous, I want to know that kind of thing, but what about reporting the number of recovered people or that type of thing? If you don't hear anything like that, you only feel scared.

J: Yes, its true. Well as for me, in terms of work, for example, I met with newspaper science correspondents, these guys are always talking to the experts, and they are asking why all the tabloid news outlets are talking about the number of infections, or toilet paper running out and such. They are only talking about things to fan the fear, but there is no calm, scientific, reporting on how much of a threat this actually is.... So, this corona virus is part of the corona virus family that all animals can carry, and there are 7 types which can transmit to humans. This new corona virus is one of those. Up to now, there are also SARS and MERS. Corona viruses themselves, will always be with us. The seventh is the newest type, the shape of the virus is like a crown, hence the name corona virus. Certainly its said that SARS and MERS were equally scary, but if you look at it with a calm approach, the death rate isnt that much higher. At this point in time, there are of course people in the world catching this virus and facing a lot of trouble, but there isnt an excessive death rate. For example, in 2009 there was an out break of a new type of influenza in Japan, in reality over 10 million people caught that. At the moment, there are not even that many people who have caught this new corona virus. If you think about that, the things being reported now are just inducing panic. For some reason, there is very little rational, scientific news being reported. I have the feeling we are being manipulated by slightly sensational news.  When i meet with science correspondents, there are many who say there is no need to clamour to this extent. They say, be concerned, but not to this extent.

Kami: Its excessive, right? Corona beer doesnt sell any more * J laughs*

J: Isnt that a different corona?

Kami: Its different, but it looks like it still doesnt sell.

J: Oh really?

Kami: People probably feel a bit wrong drinking 'corona' beer.

J: I see.

T: It goes well with Mexican food.

J: Kami, do you like Corona beer, by the way?

Kami: I don't really know *everyone laughs*

T: But my friend who is a doctor says the best means of prevention is washing your hands and gargling. Its the cheapest in terms of cost, and most effective. Just wash your hands, and gargle.

K: Well, yes. Influenza rates have apparently been the lowest this year havn't they?

J: Yes, because everyone is dutifully washing thier hands and gargling. So, as for masks, acvording to the WHO, they don't necessarily prevent you from catching it. Rather, they prevent infected people from spreading thier germs. Just because you wear a mask, you won't necessarily be safe, so im not sure about this whole bulk buying.

T: You know 'Monster' Hiranabe, who works for us, he said 'I've never caught a cold since I was born' *K laughs*

J: Because he's an idiot. He's an idiot.

T: '....so I don't need to wear a mask' he says.

*everyone laughs* He seems really bold *1

K: That guy is ??? *2

J: Yes, really.

T: ??? *3

J: Well one thing is that events and live shows in the entertainment industry are being cancelled, so how long will we keep having to cancel things? Of course there are still some people continuing as normal, and some people deciding to stop, I think there are probably more deciding to stop..Kaoru, what do you think about the issue?

K: Yeah, well, live venues have become demonised in all of this..

J: Yes, thats right. I don't know about singling out live venues, I mean, the Yamanote train line is still running, the subway is still running, there were some politicians holding a chicken party and such, and thats seems to be thought of as ok. Why are live venues...I mean, im sure some infections have resulted from them, but why have they been focused on so much? Maybe thats a Japanese thing? Finding one target and everyone getting worked up, focusing on that and feeling satisfied, relieved, and not talking about the root of the problem, I think thats it.

T: Yeah

K: Well, as for us, we are not at the point of deciding whether or not to record, but whether we decide to or not, there are things we have to be prepared for.

J: Certainly.

K: When I think about whats to come, its scary. How to go forward from here is the first thing.

J: Thats right. And this isn't a problem that only musicians have to think about.

K: Right

J: For sports, like the soccor and baseball leagues, they will have to hold talks and figure out a plan, despite being rivals. In this light, its not just the music business, but the entertainment, or performance industry on the whole who will have to think about what to do if this situation arises for second or third time.

T: Im not well informed, but when you cancel a live show, who shoulders the cost?

K: Uh, we pay for it.

J: Its the sponser.

K: Yes, the sponser.

J: For most one-man shows, the artist is the sponser, and the artist has to bear the burden. So for very large venues, the cost is significant. Of course there's your set etc aswell, you can't forget that. The expense will just fly straight at you. If its a large venue, a dome arena or such, it will cost more. If you an independent artist, a (cancelled) tour with  multiple venues will only result in bankruptcy. This is real problem. Having said that, the band Tokyo Jihen have done multiple lives, but they have recieved a tonne of criticism, I wonder if they deserve that much anger for playing shows...

K: Well, i can understand thier feelings. Even if you decide to do a show or an event, it will probably result in some damage. People will hesitate to buy tickets, so that will be hard I think.

J: Yes, thats right.

K: Thats what i imagine. I can't help thinking its all heading in a bad direction.

J: Yeah, its hard to imagine everyone suddenly returning to the venues straight after these sudden cancellations.

K: Mm, it will probably be hard to go.

J: For sure.

T: People need to think about how to look after each other after all this.

K: Yes, yes

Kami: Um, if you do tour , how many tours would it be?

K: We do about two tours per year.

Kami: If only one of those tours went ahead, would you get half the income?

K: It would be half..

J: Well, it isnt a case of halfing it, if you take into account all your losses. Its not easy to do.

K: Financially speaking, no. Thats also true.

J: This problem is so difficult.

Kami: So for example, if you suffered huge damage, how would the band continue?

K: Well...it would probably be harsh. I think it will be difficult for us. You know, these days CD's and such thrive on the sound, so we play lives shows to focus on that, and make it pay. If we lose that..the band's future existence...well, future existence may be exaggerating it slightly, but, anyhow, i think it will be hard.

J: We are going though a hard time, but the government doesn't seem to be doing anything about it right?

K: They aren't doing anything....well, should we contine this point next time?

J: I understand.

K: Well, this time was sudden, but we'll leave it here for now. Please tune in again next time. Please subscribe.

*1, 2, 3 - Couldn't really figure out this bit.

[skenpiel]

Wait yes hello I would love to hear about your interpretation of that lemon demon song?? I have never heard that song before but pretty much all I ever listen to is love songs they’re my fave kind of music ever so like please I’d love to hear about your fave one ESPECIALLY if whether or not it is a love song is a question :0

oh i am SO FUCKING GLAD you asked this song means a TON to me so get ready for a fucking paragraph 

*ahem*

the real like, storyline of the song ancient aliens is a caveman meeting an alien who shows it fire, and the caveman is so revolted by this new strange unexplainable creature that it develops some sort of hatred almost. i dont really think its a secret that the songs in spirit phone are connected at least in some way, thats why i believe many of the songs (the ones ill talk about are eighth wonder, ancient aliens, touch tone telephone, and no eyed girl) are also sung from the perspective of the same person. in this sorta timeline ive managed to piece together, the first song is eighth wonder. the meaning of the lyrics in that song really arent that hard to figure out, its from the perspective of someone (ill call them the mongoose!) whos been an outcast for all their life, being bullied and excluded and whatnot, and their way to deal with that is by boasting in order to feel superior instead of left out. they sing the entire song with the attitude of “im a genius and none of you are even close to understanding me, im practically a different CREATURE than you guys” which is a HELLA common way for (especially children) who feel alienated from society. so, that song is about someone showing great confidence to hide great loneliness, great. 

now, we get to the meat of the matter, so to speak, which is the mongoose falling in love, (even though it isnt really love at first) and that takes place in ancient aliens. this being who has never felt any sort of connection to anyone, always under the impression that their entire EXISTANCE is on a pedestal much higher than everyone else, ALWAYS looking down on everyone but them, finally meets someone they admire and look up to instead. and the mongoose absolutely fucking hates it. these feelings of admiring someone or liking someone are completely new to them, and since they dont know what those feelings are their only logical conclusion is that this is a whole new level of loathing. theres a lot of lines that stick out to me in this song, i think the first one being “these creatures ive seen / some of them edible, some of them mean”, and to me thats in reference to other people in this persons life. theres never been any NICE ones, theyre either harmful or defenseless. then obviously theres the chorus which i also believe is a metaphor for this person feeling all alone for like, their entire goddamn life and the line “but you, you fly, you burn my eyes / you speak in my mind, you seem surprised that i dont hear you” means that this is also probably the FIRST person EVER to just like. be nice to the mongoose. but then comes what i think is the most interesting line in the song, and that is “i cant help you / youre not human / youre not animal” and THAT i think is the mongoose, after a ton of consideration and trying to understand these new feelings for someone, coming to the conclusion that “theres no saving you, youre beyond help and there is something wrong with you” (or something along those lines). so, in conclusion, ancient aliens is about someone experiencing positive feelings for the first time in their life and are so confused their only way to deal with it is to decide that that person sucks ass and they dont want anything to do with them.

NEXT (and these will be shorter, i promise) is touch tone telephone (i think). thats the mongoose coming to terms that this other person is instead THEIR only hope at feeling connected to someone, even though it definitely isnt a love song. this is the mongoose trying to get through to the alien (thats what ill call them), and trying to explain that theyre just as brilliant and unique as them, and that they *need* to stick together (see the line “im an expert just like you, and like you im a genius before my time). again i wanna make it very clear that touch tone telephone is NOT a love song, but the mongoose has come far enough to realize that if THEYVE lived their whole life on this pedestal above every other person alive, then the alien is the only other person who shares that platform with them, even though they dont seem to agree.

lastly in this little timeline ive made up (theres probably more songs that fit into this, but whatever) is no eyed girl, and that DEFINITELY is a love song. the mongoose has realized theyre in love, they feel the alien is even MORE amazing than they are, and this feeling is later reciprocated! how nice! this song is their final step in realizing that perhaps they arent so alone after all (according to my short song story at least). there arent many lyrics that stick out to me in this one since the whole song is basically “youre beyond human comprehension thats how incredible you are” except for the very last lines which are “right before the kiss i noticed something in the air / molecules existing when there should have been none there / chemical reaction with the surface of your skin / some will say my actions let the no eyed people in / and id do it all again”. i dunno what half of those sentences even fucking mean but what i think is that, when the mongoose says theyve let the ‘no eyed people’ in, that means that through this alien theyve opened the door to a new world to them, where there arent just two kindred spirits who are above everyone else, but that there actually are people who will understand them, and that the world maybe isnt as dark and cold as they thought. 

so! thats my lemon demon journey thanks for reading dont forget to like and subscribe 

[muckrakerhq]

PRESENTING … FONDUE FOR TWO, EVERY TUESDAY, HOSTED BY JOEY HUMMEL-ANDERSON.

featuring… this week’s guests, @ivystjamess & @lincolnonline

fondue for two is a weekly internet talk show hosted by joey hummel-anderson. fondue for two, joey, and the muckraker team strive to get all the steaming gossip while he interviews guests of his choice over a steaming pot of cheese.

[Joey's room - once again, Joey sits across from his guests, but this time it's Ivy St. James and Lincoln Clarington-Smythe; Gil the Fish is in the same spot]

JOEY: Hi everyone! Today's guests are very special, since I have here with me McKinley's biggest bitches, Ivy St. James and the new kid that is already more popular than Fiona Beckett, Lincoln Clarington-Smythe! Do you guys feel honored to be here, on what is the greatest internet show of all time?

LINK: A title I am more than proud to share. I can also say with complete confidence that the bar for internet shows is so low that I can't dispute that this one may just be the best.

IVY: okay, winnie is totally a bigger bitch than me but i'm like happy to be here before her anyway. even if it's with the new boy.

JOEY: Okay, you guys could smile a little more though, this is the internet after all. Moving on to the first question, a fan actually sent this one and it's for Ivy! Ivy, is it true that you got Danny Zuko because, just like your mom, you have what people call "man hands"?

IVY: oh my god that's like so. . . mean? i dont have man hands and neither does my mom! but if the people like really wanna know, i have my dad's hands. mine look like the exact same as his, even when we used to do jazz hands in our family dance routines they were the exact same down to like every flutter of the finger.

JOEY: I wasn't the one who sent this in, so you can blame someone named LucyQ99, because she was the one who sent it. Moving on from the story about Ivy's hands that no one asked for, the next question is for Link! Is it true that you got kicked out of Dalton because you were caught having sex with someone on the stairs and not because of a list?

LINK: Unfortunately, no, there's been a mix up in stories. I was actually caught having sex with someone on the stairs last year and I lied and said I was helping him check for STD's because 'he was too scared to see the nurse.' The list thing was totes the reason and it was unjust so please email and call your local council and accuse Dalton of homophobia, that would mean a lot to me.

JOEY: You heard it here first, I will leave the phone number and email down below because Dalton is homophobic... Anyways, next question is for both of you, who is the second hottest guy at McKinley? I'm number one, obviously.

IVY: ugh that's like so totally easy, Joey! Everyone knows it's--

IVY: actually you know what? i bet link is like SO totally unbiased from personal experience with these guys. 

IVY: link, who do you like think is hottest?

LINK: Uh...okay, well, in all honesty, the bar in on the fucking floor. And as much as I know you hate to admit it, I'm gonna say Leo because he gives me big Jack Skellington vibes if Halloweentown had a film school and I'm really into that, ya'know. Also maybe Theo but only when I admire him from afar, I don't need to hear him talk, it ruins it for me.

IVY: oh my god.

IVY: PLEASE say you're joking like right now. 

IVY: leo? like? mccarthy?

LINK: Yeah, and? I like the angst of it all!

JOEY: Wait, Ivy you didn't answer, and I'm not even going to comment on that, Link... This is the last time you'll be on my show.

IVY: i dated leo for like eight months! so not cool! the angst like totally isn't worth it. and from personal experience? you're like definitely better off with theo.

IVY: joey i didn't answer because there's like. . . not even a second behind you. maybe a close fifth though. . . yeah!

LINK: Listen, I'm not gonna try anything with Leo, I respect his heterosexuality! I'm allowed to admire from my bubble of him being my manic pixie dream film bro! And stop avoiding Joey's questions, you're dodging and weaving that shit. You may be McKinley's lil' actress ingenue, but you're not a good liar.

IVY: i am like . . . an incredible liar!

JOEY: Okay, that's enough talking about Leo in my room, you guys are bumming out my whole area... I liked Ivy's answer, moving on! How do you guys feel about the musical?

IVY: thank you! anyhow, i'm gonna like totally make everyone forget who john travolta even is. duh. ever thought you could cry to a rendition of sandy? no? well just like wait until you hear mine.

LINK: I'm hype. I really don't care about musicals but I was born to play Rizzo, it just makes sense. I'm gonna steal the show and Ivy and....uh...no, no, I'll get it....Jonathan? Jason?......Anyways, Ivy and the Schuester guy playing Sandy, well I'm sure they'll be great too. I've never been too pure to be pink, that's for sure.

IVY: Julien. 

IVY: but yea like im sure you'll make a good Rizzo. that's a compliment I don't give lightly.

JOEY: Good! I can't wait until everyone else in rehearsal to not fit in the room because of your giant egos. And I do know what ego means, I learned that word recently. Okay, between you two, who's more talented? The people want to know.

LINK: Yeah, him. Big hair. I'll get to know him when I have to bully him on stage. And let's look at the facts; I can sing, I can act, I can dance, I can write and direct, I can and have arranged multiple Cupcakke songs into acapella versions, I can work industry standard special effects equipment, I can give you splits and dips and I dress like Sharpay Evans. Make your own conclusions on who's more talented.

IVY: Listen, everyone thinks I'm like kind of a bitch, but the fact of the matter is I'm not just a bitch. I'm a talented bitch. And if acknowledging my ability makes me a bitch then like . . . whatever! Link's stuff is impressive but at the end of the day, I managed to be successful in the arts and like a totally hot and popular cheerio at Mckinley. It's no easy feat juggling both. So like . . . the proof is in the pudding or whatever.

JOEY: There's pudding? I want pudding... Well, I guess it's up to everyone else to decide, please leave a comment and say who you think is more talented! Right, next question is a serious one - do you guys think Gil looks okay? He looks tired, right?

LINK: I mean, yeah, why lie, this fish is probably moments away from the sweet, salty grips of a literal watery grave. But, hey, I'm no fish expert maybe he just needs to pop a Zoloft.

IVY: Ew, morbid. Maybe he just needs to like nap!

JOEY: I think he'll be fine. He hasn't been the same since I found out he's a secret slumlord... [turns to the bowl] The way you treat those families is really mean and they don't deserve that, but I think there's still good in you... Right, since I like to end it on a positive note, the two of you have to say something nice about each other!

IVY: Even though he's kind of delusional about who's gonna be the Grease show stopper, for someone who came from like a private school, Link does dress nice!

LINK: Why, thank you. You are very pretty and I get what the hype is about. You have a nice face and from what I can tell you have talent and when I get famous and if you weren't straight, I'd totally consider you for a part as the Final Girl in one of my movies. I try not to work with hets, it's not personal, I promise.

IVY: i see 

IVY: but just so you know, i have like two gay grandpas and i'm jewish so like when I'm inevitably the best and only option you can pull that info for the sake of being diverse

JOEY: Right, that was kind of nice! Last question of the show, did you guys have fun here? And if you say no, you're not allowed in my house anymore.

IVY: i'd never be banned from your house but yea this was like super fun!

LINK: It was a blast. I should point out though that this fondue cheese kinda tastes like, um....pure garbage. But I can look past that.

JOEY: Anyways, thanks for watching everyone and I'll see you next week for another Fondue for Two!

 [The End]

[skyguyed]

okay i just finally finished seaspiracy and cried a lot because montages of animals suffering to sad music are my weakness

i know im a star wars blog but, thoughts below, discuss with me if you like

so ive been a vegetarian for like 13 years and yall this documentary was preaching to the choir here. I hope it makes some people consider how much their diet defaults to meat and fish and makes people consider their consumptive habits more. however I don’t know, like i have a lot of research left to do because a good few of the ocean experts i follow on social media have some criticism for this film. 

(in particular, how the film really didn’t try very hard to portray narratives from actual fishers and made a super stark good guy/bad guy dichotomy without exploring it fully; the film is really western-world centric in that honestly at least 1/3 of the world’s population relies on fishing for primary sustenance rather than going to a seafood restaurant for fun now and then; it had a pre-made conclusion and shaped its narrative accordingly; uses outdated scare-tactic statistics such as saying the ocean will be empty by 2048 when that statistic was made in 2006 and debunked in 2009??? or something???)

it sounds like a lot of western-vegan rhetoric to me which i’m like. I’m on their side because i can Choose my diet? And I already believe in not eating fish/meat in general which is incredibly privileged? But the film explored no alternatives other than some vague “plant-based protein” which, is that truly more sustainable...?? like how quinoa and almond milk and shit are actually worse than most locally sourced meat is, environmentally speaking.

also though i hate the idea of killing animals for food if we dont have to, but that’s just me. im not gonna try and guilt people out of the food they need to eat or like morally high ground people for their dietary situations.

i CAN however bitch for hours on end about the extent that americans, particularly men y’know? believe that meat is an essential dietary need for every day, every MEAL even. I am living proof that isn’t true and i think that most people in my country can do with significantly reducing their meat consumption in general.

anyway seaspiracy.

[lunasaturnine]

Vienna and cultural trauma

WOW so cool to sign into tumblr and see 99+ notifications, and think “oh a post got some attention,” but it’s actually just general attention!

My astro blog is ready for some action! Or maybe ppl are just bored bc of the quarantine. Either way, it would be cool to write.

I want to write about VIENNA.

I just took a course about somatic healing of trauma and it gave me a good overview of how trauma recovery works. Chapter 1 of trauma recovery is gathering resources. Chapter 2 is dipping or oscillating back into the memory, whether it’s a clear memory or just something held hidden in your body, with your new resources, and allowing circles to complete. Chapter 3 is being bigger bigger brighter in the world !!! (It’s a nice course, it’s on somatopia.com, it costs $40 if you have that to throw around, it’s like 2 hours of videos of a nice man talking in a soothing voice in intelligent language about healing from trauma)

Now I’m thinking about cultural trauma and Vienna. I have long felt that helping to heal the Hitler wound of Vienna is one of my soul’s major dharmic thrusts. So I googled “healing cultural trauma” and most resources out there talk about the trauma of the victim culture. That kind of trauma is totally different, because it recommends amplifying the traditions and greatnesses of the culture, and when you’re a cultural perpetrator of violence, amplifying the greatness of your culture is a trigger because cultural superiority is what lead your culture to be violent. But there are still a lot of resources with a lot of valuable information. I’ve only skimmed a couple things so far and it seems like one thing people emphasize in cultural healing is human connectedness.

The internet is a little hard to navigate on this topic, but I found an NYT editorial called “I loved my grandmother but she was a Nazi.” The author’s sweet grandma was literally a Nazi but she was a nice person who didn’t hate Jews. When the author talked to her about it, she would deflect. “He said a lot of things, I didn’t listen to them all” and “I was caught up in my own life” etc. The author says, that’s bullshit, there’s something she’s avoiding, and I can’t understand what it is or why she’s doing it, and I’m hesitant to say this because it might seem like I’m trying to forgive Naziism but I’m really just trying to understand who I look at when I look at my grandmother. It’s the most direct address of the West’s Nazi wound that I’ve found in my two and a half minutes of searching on google and I think it’s on the nose.

In the readmore are my more concrete thoughts on potential resources for Western/German/Viennese healing, and thoughts about what working through phase 2 would look like for a perpetrator culture.

Resources

On this reddit post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/history/comments/5nfqwp/my_grandmother_grew_up_in_nazi_germany/

there are some resources. First of all, 1. there are people from diverse backgrounds respective to WWII, coming together and talking as equals in the same kind of “room.” The descendants of the persecuted and the persecutors are together and they are not enemies. The knowledge, and SOMATIC FEELING EXPERIENCE, of that, can be  a resource. I am typing over this brusquely and that’s Mercury magic for you and you should know that I just burst into sobs. That in just a couple of generations, the grandsons and daughters of enemies can be together and not hate each other and even love each other is an immense resource and can be leaned into at any point. There is a vast well of cultural relief available here. My tears are thankful, grateful tears, tears of relief. I am thinking of the parks in vienna that are holocaust memorial parks. I am thinking of that horrible statue out in front of the Albertina that is a memorial to cultural violence but at the same time, also represents the trapped soul of the Perpetrator culture, since we are all One. In the same way that a piece of music which opens with a terrifying chord represents both the terror experienced by the terrorized, and the menace of the terrorizer, AND THE FEELINGS IN THE terrorizer that caused them to generate this chord... off on a tangent, and I’m not sobbing anymore! That was crazy. I have a tendency to lock my feelings up, but being alone in this house and in this quarantine, I can open up locked wells of feeling like that.

That resource is IMMENSE, and it’s RIGHT in front of our faces all the time. I took a class on 20th century germany in undergrad, and the professor was a young guy with a Nazi grandfather, well I’m not sure if he was a Nazi but he was a German soldier, and he remarked on it. And I think at the time I thought “how lovely” but if you sit with that feeling, it’s deep as hell. And if you sit with it from the perspective of a penitent perpetrator, it’s REALLY FUCKING DEEP.

So that’s available. Im gonna post this real quick as a way of saving the draft but I have more ideas.

Okay. Continuing,

Resource 2 also from reddit post

The top respondent says his German POW uncle had a British GF. That’s similar to the first resource, but more immediate. I’m sure there are lots of stories like that. Intercultural experience that nullifies certain tensions

Resource 3 also from reddit post

The stories of people who did do the right thing... maybe. I dont know. I’ll get off this post soon but it’s interesting. Idk if this counts as a resource, it’s kind of a tangent, but the more I learn about karma and trans-life inheritance of it, the more it seems true that it really is better to die living in line with your beliefs than to live safely. Like the person in Pweuy’s post. That father died but his karma was pristine as far as this was concerned and perpetrator trauma did not cling to him.

ok jesus this is an interesting post... the girl skipping over the river of blood as it trickled out of the asylum... the hitler youth boy befriending a lamb and the nazis slaughtering it in front of him... the russian soldier who guarded the german girl because she reminded him of her daughter...

Okay. Before I go on, I want to clarify that I am not specifically talking about people who held Nazi beliefs in their core. There is a special type of perpetrator injury that is specific to that kind of thing, true villains and terrorists. I’m talking more about “ordinary Germans” who didn’t think very hard and got swept along, moderate supporters to moderate resisters. As a culture, they were moved by the tides into Naziism. They have culpability, but not the exact same kind of culpability as perpetrator people. The culture moved to perpetrate these crimes, and they were a part of that culture. That’s the specific kind of wound I’m interested in healing. There is a poster on that page whose grandma really loved Hitler...

Ok! I spent a lot of my energy in that page, now its 10PM and I still have veggies to prepare. I need energy for this next thing I was going to talk about.

Resource 4 - this one specific coffee shop

I’m putting *s in its name because I like this blog anonymous. P*****n is a coffee shop in Vienna that is the only happy place I went. There were places that were ok... and fine... maybe pleasant... but this place was American levels of happy. Waiters danced around and were actually relaxed and happy. P*****n’s theme is intergenerational communication. It hires grandmothers to work behind the counter, and make pies, and you’re supposed to buy a slice of their pie and talk to them a bit. And then the waiters are young, and they communicate with the Omas. And the Omas are maybe not old enough to have been Nazis but their parents were.

They also include a bit in all their menus about intergenerational dialogue and wondering what more they can do and how they can be more of a space for it.

I had MANY genuinely pleasant little experiences there... and I think that little space that some person with a vision made, is a blossoming flowerpot with lots of healing energy where true dialogue could happen. So that could be a resource too. The happiness of that place. In fact, these conversations could happen there.

But I wouldn’t want to break the space. The course I just took talked about titration, which is just accessing a TINY part of the traumatic memory, so you don’t get overwhelmed. This is a very icy fucked up conversation for a lot of people. My Viennese friend told me to talk more quietly about it than I was. Actually I did talk about it there with some people! The German girl was surprised that I thought Vienna had a wound. So was the Irish girl actually. For other people it’s really evident. My Viennese friend. D**n. Rf: “it’s ALL I feel when I am there.” ME. God that conversation was sooo gentle and sweet and light. The Irish girl was wondering if she should move to Vienna or stay in Barcelona, and the three of us talked about Vienna nd it was SOOOOO LOVELY, holy BALLS.

But even if we don’t hold conversations there exactly, that could be a really good place for conversation to start. I could reach out to the people who run the shop to ask them about it. And then maybe conversations could happen in other places (don’t want to spoil the sweetness of the shop).

Resource 5 - personal as I investigate maybe not really a resource - but yes maybe it is a resource: Grounded, comfortable people who are Viennese, and who understand the goals and also understand the sensitivities of Viennese people more than I do; 

Resource 6 - people who are experts at cultural healing in victim cultures

Resource 7 - fostering dialogue between those two parties, also me.

Again I’m really playing fast and loose with the idea of resources. Maybe. We’re starting to move into phase 2, also, because with this dialogue, I want to open up some scripts for how to TITRATE sensitively.

phase 2

For instance, notice that I didn’t say something like “Remembering Vienna’s amazing heritage of incredible music that has the power to redeem and heal equal to and more accessibly than religions.” I think it’s true that Viennese music is a major healing resource (BEETHOVENSCHUBERTMOZARSKLTBSLJRTHBLEWSKJNS:OFDFD), but since it is bound up in Viennese identity, that notion is complex. Also, it’s not only that Viennese identity is nasty because it’s nazi and therefore that gives Schubert etc a dark tint, but also, the grand things that Vienna has contributed to western culture are now a part of Vienna’s current wound of degradation, cheapification, and humiliation by TOURISM. although I will say that I think Resource 8 should be MY OWN deep internalization of the healing power of Viennese music. Posting again to save...

...not only does that music help me be healed, but it also helps me understand healing process in the specific language of the culture i’m interested in

okay.  Phase 2. 

A picture of what I think sorta needs to happen

I think Omas that say “It was just a lot of talk, we ignored it” and “I was busy in my life”... I think what needs to happen for a perp culture is for them to actually own their part in the villainy, to claim it and stand in it and feel the pain, and say “I’m SORRY, this was HORRIBLE, I AM SORRY.” THIS WILL ALLOW THEM TO BECOME NEW!!!!!!!

That’s a v different healing process from like native american healing etc.

I really think somatic approach is a better road in than cognitive because, god, imagine cognizing all of this HORRIBLE SIN bit by bit knowing your culture perpetrated it and not having anyone to blame it on. Jesus.

How might the process of getting there look?

This is vague especially now that I don’t have that burst of energy. Conversations...

Here’s a question. After resource gathering.

“Knowing that bells rang for Hitler in Vienna, how does it feel to be Viennese?” IN YOUR BODY?

Damn THAT’S GOOD! THAT’S THE FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION. How does it feel to be Viennese? The goal is for it to feel OK.

Um, speaking specifically about Wiener trauma and their welcoming of Hitler, a few years ago, I read this in some guidebook, Vienna’s government acknowledged that they welcomed Hitler and that they were wrong, and investigating that is important for my mission. It’s cool because 1. it’s a Big Ol Step and 2. it lays groundwork for all of this.

Step 3 is really beautiful to think about. In the course I took, it’s where the instructor got out of his soothing calm neutral demeanor and started speaking passionately and bursting with smiles.

In addition to being able to be more firmly grounded in their own individual and cultural identities...

Okay, so, I’m drawn to this because I’m drawn to it, punkt. That’s all. But also, and I think I’m really late on the uptake here, I think I was due in Vienna many years ago, I think that whatever work I do in Vienna is helpful for the echoes of Naziism in today’s world, such as Trumpism (which does not...exactly... have the same kinds of premises but uses a lot of the same kinds of mecahnisms) and actual brazen nationalism, white supremicism, and far right movements. Hitler is a LOUD and REVERBERANT figure in our history for this kind of energy, and if we can do healing surrounding him, re-discovering resilience in the moderates, helping them go through the emotional journey they need to go through, they will be a beautiful resonant horn call from the past, a solid core of NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that will strengthen the culture of the entire FUCKING world.

Music will be a part of it.

I have always loved Vienna, and I can’t really analyze it. I love it like a girlfriend. I know she’s problematic. And she can be really really horrible.

The wound is deep. The horribleness, the life negating quality not only of the FUCKING WRETCHED SHOP CLERKS, but also of the WAY -- THINGS -- HAPPEN, of the overall weird ass SPIRIT in Vienna, is... God DAMN WHY do I like that city so much? It’s bizarre. It’s very pervasive. I don’t enjoy experiencing it, I don’t think it’s attractive, I don’t like it. I love Vienna THROUGH that wound. I REALLY LOVE Vienna. That’s one of the clearest things that I know in my heart. I love Vienna... and that’s the whole story. It’s one of the easiest things for me to say.

Lots of people love a city. We do it for reasons. I think our hearts are drawn where they are drawn because we are attracted to healing the specific karmas of places. The karma of my hometown is mainly racial, with native american underneath. The coffee shop that is equivalent to P*****n serves often as a place of racial conversation and healing. It is actually pretty amazing. And once there was a white supremacist with a gun there and he stood up on a table and let people see his gun. He didn’t yell or anything. But that vital thing happened there in that coffee shop.

Excuse me I also love coffee shops and Vienna is the land of coffee shops.

Okay. I love Vienna! I literally love Vienna, with my heart. I love Vienna.

One last thing. I’m saving then editing...

The postscript: A major resource, and it kinda sidesteps some things, is language. It will be much better if German is spoken in these conversations. When I went to Vienna last, I didn’t prepare my German because when I went to Vienna first, everyone spoke English and it was simply easier to speak English all the time, so I figured I wouldn’t try to give the illusion and disappoint. But lo... the native people really, really resent it if you don’t even try to speak German. They actually seem to experience it as an injury. It is wild, if you’re not expecting it.

ALL OVER VIENNA I saw the Graffiti stamp/brand, “Tourism is terrorism.” 

When I was in the airport and the cute customs dudes asked me the purpose of my visit, I said “TOURISM” and they laughed. That was fun. But it was a lie. I was a pilgrim. I... know I was a tourist, technically. But I felt such hatred for the tourists standing like apes in front of the Schubert statue in the Stadtpark. Their wretched selfie smiles plastered on top of the emptiness of their experience. My purpose in Vienna had nothing in common with theirs. And I claim that I didn’t do a lot of the tourist things - not many museums or concerts or whatever.

One of my more pleasant memories was going into a used book shop and asking about a book in the window, a German-language edition of the tao te ching from 1923 (a very strange time). I asked in English. The clerk was confused and asked if I spoke German, and I answered in German that I spoke some German, but was learning, and knew the TTC very well, and that it’s simply usually easier to speak in English. I might have used imperfect German, but I felt dignified and natural doing it.

Ok, not only the German language, but the quiet Viennese demeanor of Scorpiness. Scorpscorpscorpscorp. Quiet, observant, emotional, and responsive to gentle tenderness and consideration, and traumatized by brashness. 

Both the spoken language, and the language of the demeanor, I think are somatic approaches that sidestep cognitive...things and make the culture feel unconsciously accepted and open.

On my first trip I learned howwwwww AMERICAN I was, and then on my second trip I opened myself up to my inner Wiener and was quiet and scorpy, and I felt warmth emerge from the people and city in response. It felt really right, and it felt like i was honoring...her, and it felt um sort of romantic. ha 

[charmywrites]

Bitter & Sweet (Pt. 2)

Summary: Loosely based on the song “Idols can’t go on for 10 years, right?” by Berryz Koubou. The reader is a foreigner who’s grown up in South Korea since early childhood, upon her mother marrying a Korean man. In her adolescent years, she’s scouted by someone working for a big company and encouraged to audition. Deciding to do it for fun, the reader takes a leap and goes through with the audition. She didn’t really plan to actually get in and go on a 10+ year journey.

Part 1.

( 2011, four years since debut. )

The magazine was thrown on the table, right in front of a young woman.

“How could you be so stupid?!” The group manager scolded, running a hand through his greying hair.

There was a page open for all to see, the other members of Ultra Smart standing solemnly behind him as they watched one of their own get punished. The picture was of the young woman, twenty-one year old Kim Nina, sleeping in some strange bed. The image was a head shot, obviously taken by whoever was sleeping next to her. Her shoulders were bare, but she wasn’t completely naked as one could see the straps of the nightie she had on. The topic of the article was ‘Sex scandal involving Ultra Smart’s leader?’ in bold, red, letters. As Ultra Smart was currently quite popular after a viral song, such a scandal brought a lot of shame onto the group and the higher ups became adamant that Nina be forced to leave.

Ultra Smart wasn’t just some group that happened to become popular. The reason why girls like you and Yoora debuted so quickly was because Ultra Smart was a group that the company planned for a long time. A lot of money and resources went into creating the group and promoting them. Not only that, the group’s music videos were well thought out and given a unique artistic flair that also went into their concerts. More than the basic staff was hired to be the backbone of Ultra Smart.

Basically, a lot of money was invested into all of the girls.

This was not taken lightly.

Even in an ordinary girl group, this wouldn’t be able to fly. And, Nina was feeling the pressure as tears streamed down her reddened face. Her head hung low in shame, unable to meet anyone gaze -- or, rather, glare. Yoora stood next to you in silence, but you knew of the older girl’s agitation at the scandal. She warned Nina to not date, at least for a while, as it would fall badly on all of you and not just her. That night, when Nina didn’t come home, Yoora resigned herself to the inevitable. Still, even she didn’t think it would be this bad.

What sort of person leaks such an intimate picture? Well, you knew, but no one else did. In a moment of weakness when you were the only shoulder to cry on, Nina told you of the guy who she’d spent the night with, but begged you not to tell anyone. She loved him, apparently, even though you bluntly told her that he must not have felt the same way. You just couldn’t understand how she would let him off the hook like that, and it left a bitter taste in your mouth when it came to men ever since.

They couldn’t be trusted.

“I-I’m so sorry.” Nina’s voice broke as she cried.

Your manager stood aside, sharply gesturing towards the group. “Apologize to them, they’re the ones who have to suffer from your actions. Do you know what the public thinks of the group now?” He asked a rhetorical question, not a soul daring to answer. “If just one girl does this, then they must all do it. They’re all cheap and easy.”

The youngest member, Lee Doyeon, sniffled; affected by all the high emotions in the room. When you lifted a hand to pat her back in comfort, she scooted a little closer. The second youngest, Im Nara, stood stone faced and quiet. The judgement on her face was apparent, however. Still, nothing was said from any of you. Some of you did feel betrayed by her actions, especially Yoora, but others sympathized. Nina found someone who made her feel special, but that person broke her heart and ruined her career.

What a pitiful situation.

A few weeks later, Nina was kicked out of the group and Yoora was made the new leader. You had occasionally seen the man who had done Nina so wrong, usually at events like Mnet, but it was only recently you decided to confront him about what he did. The world might’ve been willing to let him go without recognition, but you couldn’t.

When he saw you coming, walking with such purpose, the idol couldn’t help but smirk. “Well, here comes the golden girl.”

Back when Ultra Smart were just a bunch of rookies, many fans called you all the ‘Golden Girls’ because it was obvious how much Beyond Entertainment favored you over their older groups and artists. It confused you, because you certainly didn’t feel favored. The company put as much pressure as they reasonably and legally could on a bunch of teenagers. Sure, you were provided meals and beds when other companies didn’t even do that, but the price was a hefty schedule of lessons, appearances, concerts, and filming.

Especially as a foreigner. In Ultra Smart, there was you. There was also Nina, a Korean American, who was gone now. After her, there was a Thai trainee that replaced Ueda Aina; the former Ultra Smart member who injured herself just a year into their debut. That girl’s name was Malivalaya Suttirat, nicknamed ‘Mali’. Without Nina, it was only the two of you, and the pressure of being treated differently pushed you together. The two of you always had a sort of silent understanding with each other, the knowing that you were both sometimes still held at an arm’s length while the others didn’t go through such treatment.

After Nina was kicked out, your manager pulled you and Mali aside to make sure you didn’t ‘follow in Nina’s footsteps’. At that confrontation, you and her exchanged looks but only agreed with the man. It was obvious that he assumed foreigners must think similarly, a tiny burn of shame lit deep within you at his prejudice.

It wasn’t just Nina at fault.

“Cut the crap, Lee,” You weren’t one for small talk, using your seniority to talk informally to the other. You could tell it pushed a few buttons, Lee Junho’s smirk faltered ever so slightly. Neither of you particularly liked each other, even when Nina introduced him to try and get the girls’ blessing. You had always sensed a sort of cocky attitude radiating from the man, never finding it in yourself to like him. “I know what you did to Nina. She told me everything, so don’t even lie.”

The carelessness in his eyes made your chest burn in anger, watching as the man played stupid. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Nina cheated on me, but I’m the one you come for?” He started to walk off, but you followed him closely away from the eyes and ears of other idols. From the corner of your eyes, you could see a glimpse of young Doyeon’s face watching after you.

You were seething. “She was over at your dorm. You know it, she knows it, and I’m sure at least some of your members know it.” But, they couldn’t say anything, because it would bring down their own group’s reputation. “Why? She loved you, why would you do this to her?” You weren’t an expert on love by any means, but you had an idea of what it should be like. Hell, you wouldn’t even do this to someone you just liked.

He couldn’t meet your eyes, staring at anything else in the near desolate hallway. Your own cold ones looked him down, wanting at least some justice for your old leader. It was already a given that the female idol in a scandal take most of the blame and the harshest punishment, but that just wasn’t fair. Your mind just kept going back to why, why, why.

Wait a minute.

His group had a single coming out, dropping on the same day as Ultra Smart’s new single. Junho couldn’t possibly have been that competitive to want to sabotage his own girlfriend’s single, could he? There had to be more to it than that.

“I was angry.”

You caught the fainest of mumbles, but when you opened your mouth inquire he sent you a pointed glare. “Excuse me, sunbae, but I really need to meet with my group members right now. My personal life is private.” At that, the idol stalked off, leaving you to stew over his words.

( 2015, eight years after debut. )

Sitting at a table in a private room of a Korean barbecue restaurant, you twirled the straw in your drink while waiting for someone else to show up. Yoora’s words from a few nights ago still weighed heavily on your mind.

She didn’t want to renew your contract. She wanted to graduate.

Yoora would've been the first member to leave since Nina all that time ago. But, Sunhee would beat her to it, and it seemed like they were in a race. Apparently they had both gone to visit the CEO around the same time and asked to leave. The only difference was, Sunhee didn’t want a farewell concert. She just wanted to leave quietly in two months, when the contact was over.

Half of the 1st generation was really leaving. All that would be left were you, Nara, and Doyeon.

Which was quite hard to believe. For you, at least. The only other generational Kpop group was After School, and even then it wasn’t the same. Ultra Smart had never planned on being generational, so you’d gone into the group thinking you would be with the same seven girls for all these years. The originals; Nina, Yoora, Sunhee, Aina, Nara, Doyeon, and you. When you debuted, Nara and Doyeon were so young that you couldn’t imagine leading a group with them as your second and third most senior. Now, however, they had grown into talented young women.

‘Ultra Smart needs new members.’ Your manager had relayed the CEO’s message to you. ‘There can’t be only two native Koreans in the group, the netizens are already suspecting that the eldest girls will leave soon. So, we’ll be holding an audition next month. I want you and Yoora to be present for it.’

These were more changes than you bargained for, a nervousness -- or, maybe it was hunger -- gurgling in your stomach as you worried about the group’s future. Would the netizens accept a new era of the group after so many changes in the lineup? Would the new girls take away from the group dynamic or add to it? You had always taken pride in how well the girls in Ultra Smart got along, there was no fakeness in your friendship.

Yoora...Sunhee, why do you have to go? You mulled, not hearing the door to your private room open.

“Um, hello???” Your friend, Seola, announced herself obnoxiously. Donned in her famous black hoodie and mom jeans, she gave you a smile and walked in the room. “Got your head in the clouds?”

She was followed in by her polar opposite, a petite girl in a frilly dress; your other good friend, Minah. “Hey, sweets.” The other greeted you with a wave, both of them taking a seat in front of you.

“Sorry guys,” You shook your head with a small smile. As the waiter set out two cups of water and laid out all of the menus, you decided to wait until he left the room to continue speaking. “I just have a lot on my mind right now with the group.

“Oh yeah!” Minah exclaimed, eyes wide. “I heard that Yoora had said she wanted to get married soon. Er, well, in five years maybe.”

Such words from an average person wasn’t surprising, but when an idol said it they kind of sent the idol’s fanbase in a panic. Yoora ended up being scolded for saying such loose words, even if she wasn’t dating anyone. Just the notion was dangerous to her career. At this point, however, you knew she didn’t truly care.

‘I’m tired,’ She told you that night. ‘My youth was dedicated to this life, but now I want some time for myself. I want to find out what I really want to do in life.

You can’t be an idol in your thirties, after all. Not as a woman.’

Setting your menu down, you frowned. “She wants to graduate from the group. Sunhee too.”

Minah gasped while Seola’s eyes widened. You trusted these two with your life, being friends from the same neighborhood. This wasn’t the first time you shared information with them and they kept it to themselves.

“Well,” Seola tried to look on the brightside. “You’ll be the next leader then? That’s pretty great, to be honest. The rest of the girls already look up to you, so it’ll be a walk in the park. Right?”

Oh, boy, there was so much to unload.

“The company isn’t sure if they want me to be the leader.” That was also something your manager had told you. “...Since I’m foreign. They’re thinking about it. If not, then Ultra Smart won’t have any leader.” You decided not to mention the upcoming members yet. Too much information in too little time.

“Oh.” Seola scratched the tip of her nose uneasily, looking down at the table.

Minah slammed down her menu. “That’s bullshit!” She sat down timidly upon realizing how loud she was, giving a sheepish smile. “I mean, you’ve given that company nine years of your life. Even if there’s no leader, there’s no denying that you’re next in seniority. They can’t even give you a title? You grew up here...”

A solemn silence followed. It was only broken when Seola huffed.

“All I know is, after all this time, being leader is the least you could get from them.” She said. “If they can’t give you that, maybe you should leave too. You’ve had solo singles before, go solo and leave them in the dust.” If one could take an angry sip of water, she had just done it.

Despite her encouraging words, they left a bitter taste in your mouth. You never wanted to leave Ultra Smart and go it alone, not when you could still reasonably stay within the group. You loved those girls, loved performing with them, and they needed you now more than ever.

Still, just to placate your enraged friends, you simply shrugged.

“Maybe.”

Note: To elaborate fully, in case anyone is confused about the Ultra Smart members. Ultra Smart began as a semi-diverse group with four Korean members and three foreign members. The original lineup was Nina, Yoora, Sunhee, Aina, Nara, Doyeon, and the reader. The foreigners were the reader, Aina (a Japanese girl), and Nina (who was still considered foreign, despite being Korean American).

Currently, the group consists of Yoora, Sunhee, Nara, Doyeon, Mali, Jiang Ai, Jiang Yi, and the reader. Taking back what I mentioned in the last chapter, I’ve changed the number of members from nine to eight. A ninth member simply escaped my thought process and I decided to go with that flow.

The company truly wanted to create a diverse group, but a string of bad luck seems to follow Ultra Smart in exchange for their popularity.

How popular is Ultra Smart? Not as big as SNSD, but they’re only in second place.

When Yoora and Sunhee leave, the only native Korean members will be Nara and Doyeon -- which the public won’t take so well. So, there will be auditions for new members of Ultra Smart. They’ll likely be original characters, but let me know if you want me to switch it up and put members of existing groups into Ultra Smart. Not making promises, but I’m open to the idea.

Also, I feel SO BAD for making Junho such a bad guy, but there needed to be one. I might elaborate on him and Nina more later, but this is a blurb-like series. Boy, I really showed my age by mentioning 2PM, huh? (lol)