#im never moving on from this ever
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im not lying when i say i almost went to the clinic after seeing these photos because of the immense heart palpitations i got while seeing this during class
#shshfhdjcudjicSJDKXJNDJDJDJDJDHSJDJHSJDJJCNX OH MY GODD#IM GOING TO CRY!!!!!!!!#IM GOING TO CRY LIKE ACTUALLY AND THEN IM GONNA CRY MORE#SHES SO WIFEY MATERIAL I CANT EVEN TODAY IM GONNA CRY#mizu natsuki#takarazuka#im never moving on from this ever
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#choso kamo#junpei yoshino#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this idea started as a 2 part series . then my braincells decided to spark and supplied 7 PAGES#'did you sleep hina' no#ws looking up mentally stable things like 'who has died in jjk' smh i love my hyperfixation media im sooooo glad so many ppl r DEAD#i *could* have included more ppl but i think this is a good crew. this is a yuuji emotional support crew#also Was gna include his grandpa final panel but i Did Not Want To#he is implied through th dialogue#side note i donot like how i cn see this scenario playing out . ..yuuji this isnt ur stop u r monopoly voice Just Visiting ok >:(#anyway I broke my own heart with this and ik i hyped it up a lot but i hope that its not just me...#hope i did not hype it up fr nothing and no one else finds it devastating :((((( that would b humbling in the worst way#pls ...join the happy party train.......i hate it here i suffered pls :<<<<#also !!!! colours in this !! i cooked i fear . adding th first bit of warm hitting yuuji's face after th first 2 panels....#ive never had that kind of experience while drawing before it was wild . painful ! but wild.#the whole transition from p 2->3 might b the most emotionally moving piece ive ever made to me#not 2 sing my own praises tho i will shut up ! i wil. nap
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Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine
#genshin impact#arlecchino#peruere#clervie#ouhhhhhhhh im never gonna be able to emotionally recover from watching that animated short#ever since it came out a couple days ago just thinking of these two makes me feel like my heart is physically being ripped in half#i cant stop thinking about how Clervie was the only person in Arlecchino's life that she truly loved#like dont get me wrong Arlecchino loves her children in her own detached-fucked up way as much as any person with her amount of trauma can#but Clervie meant so much to her that even just her presence alone kept Arle's curse at bay#and it seems that no one other than Clervie herself has ever been able to break this unemotional/detached wall that Arle has put up#and maybe no one else ever will#DONT GET ME WRONG I still fw arle x other female harbingers like that shit is still peak#but oh my god the idea that arle never moved on after clervie's death and will never love anyone the way she loved her makes me want to SOB
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my mum keeps responding to my covid precautions with “i get it, you’re not ready yet”. like no i just don’t do them anymore. i don’t really need to eat at restaurants or go to crowded places or be in public without an n95. i can watch the movie at home. i can get take out. an n95 is just uncomfortable sometimes but doesn’t stop me from doing anything. i love not getting sick
#SOOOOOO glad i moved out#‘your sibling and i are going out to eat’ have fun! i actually have no desire to do that whatsoever#also both of them have brought covid home and I’ve clocked it every time#my mum’s was after a trip after i moved out where she didn’t wear a mask once (not even at the airport) and then spent the trip texting me#about how the rich food was giving her some stomach trouble and the jet lag was just hitting her so hard#clocked that asap. i think she gave it to everyone else too and then tested after someone else tested positive and got her positive#my sibling was when i was still at home though and they just came downstairs and sat next to me coughing and i have never moved so fast#consistently tested negative so I don’t think they gave it to me but they protested possibly having it until I made my mum test them#and lo and behold I was right! I got pcr tested by urgent care and was negative#i didn’t get the chance to be cautious from the beginning because I was a minor when covid started#but i’m now an adult and moved out and keep all my precautions and tbh I love it#i’m a college student and the only sickness I’ve ever dealt with was an ear infection from a piercing. that’s it#‘don’t you want to embrace your young adult years’ i have two cats and hobbies and love being at home im fine#I don’t want to party or go out or do much of that#coronavirus
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as we are entering a new era tomorrow I wanna pay tribute to the OF era again, how memorable it was and how special SandRay were, I hope they'll forever be happy, travelling the world and dancing at concerts together, giving eo cheek kisses like these, holding hands and visiting record stores together. you will always be famous 🥺🧡🧎🏼♀️
#firstkhao#firstkhaotung#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat#sandray#kantbison#gmmtv#my pookies ♡#im ready for kantbison!!!#but no matter how excited i am im afraid i will never ever move on from this moment specifically#like this is still so insane to me#KB better have some soft moments amongst all the kinky shit lmao#god#maybe im not ready afterall
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paper bag
#inanimate insanity#ii#inanimate insanity invitational#ii 2#ii 3#inanimate insanity pickle#pickle inanimate insanity#taco inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity taco#ii taco#taco ii#pickle ii#ii pickle#don't tag as ship please#also. this is from pickle's pov. i don't like the way the whole fandom victim blamed him because he didn't forgive taco#brian said he's literally canonically depressed thanks to her. he has been burning her letters ever since he got them.#pickle has made it very clear that he does not want to be around taco and that he's still badly hurt. it doesn't matter if taco changed#you are still allowed to not forgive those who hurted you even if they change#pickle ii i love you forever im so sorry people were horrid about your mental health#you deserve to be loved and happy and never bothered again. you moved on and i am proud of you#pickle ii ily#max does art#osc#osc art
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waiting for marvel to take you up as their comic artist so that we can have amazing art with cherik official storyline
marvel hire me to draw professor x and magneto making out sloppy style for forty issues straight you will get a BAJILLION dollars i promise
#fave#snap chats#'professor x' what are you a cop. moving on#vjeLKVJEALKV thank you much my friend one can only dream .....#you know whats so funny tho this just reminds me how like. My Number One Cheerleader was my highschool english teacher#she also ran the comic club in case thats relevant. because i was a part of that club OBVIOUSLY#i used to want to be a comic book artist but now i dont but anyway as a part of this club we'd have to draw comics sometimes#and alllll the time my teach would be so happy to get my stuff and she'd always be like#'[Snap] please promise me you'll never give up comics i want to read a comic from you one day' and stuff like that#i think id throw up laughing if i got to email her one day like 'omg hey teach 1.) im not a moody teenager anymore#2.) i got to work for marvel check it out <3' and i have to send her old man yaoi JLVKEJLKAEVJE#FUNNIEST TIMELINE IN THE WORLD I'D ACTUALLY DIE LIKE PLEAAAASSEE THATS ALL I COULD EVER WANT IN LIFE#on the realest note tho i didnt appreciate her enthusiasm enough. i wish i could tell her thank you someday#i think of her a lot whenever im in the dumps about my work she really is one of my biggest motivators#like i guess i COULD just shoot an email. maybe if i actually do something cool with comics or something#i dont even know if she remembers me so it'd just be bizarre wouldnt it#ANYWAYS. sappy story time's over theres a matcha crepe cake with my name on it BYYYYYEEEEE
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i am making my own ii human names list, but very slowly, because i am pedantic. also, i will not be counting mephone creating them as canon. ive had these ethnicity and family hcs for ages, and i will base my names on them. now, here are the two most important names.
OJ: Olivier-Jean "OJ" Jacques Silveira. my oj interpretation/gijinka is brazilian (paternal side) and ivorian (maternal side). his last name comes from his father and is brazilian portuguese. his first name and middle name were given by his mother, as many people in côte d'ivoire speak french (french colonization —> it's the official language now but there's MANY others accompanying it). a lot of people who speak french like to use "jean" in hyphenated names (trust me ive met a bajillion of them), so i included it. i think his name sounds quite classy.
oj was born and raised in america, speaking english at school and french at home. as well as some portuguese, but he never actually learned it. i think he would become quite pissy when kids at school would pronounce his name incorrectly (Olivier-Jean is... very not intuitive to english speakers. i believe they would say it like Oliver-Jeen) so they ended up using oj as shorthand. and he was fine with that, so it stuck. but at home he's Olivier and Olivier-Jean. he tells new people he meets to call him oj just because it's consistent and because he doesn't like the sound of his real name being mispronounced. coming from someone who constantly gets her real names mispronounced.
Paper: Paige Hsu (foreign name) and 许佩妍 / Xǔ Pèiyán (original name). my paper interpretation/gijinka is han taiwanese, so fully of han chinese descent. more specifically, hoklo (chosen because i hc he can speak mandarin AND hokkien). his family immigrated to taiwan from fujian (province in china with hoklo ancestry) post ww2. Xǔ is a particularly common surname in fujian, so i chose it for him. be gentle with me if i messed up with his given name LOL i know much less about chinese than french (but DO inform me if you know more about it and spot any mistakes!). Pèiyán means, in a way, beautiful garment. to wear something beautiful. to be adorned. etc. it's partially based on trying to make it seem a bit like the name "Paige", partially based on what i think his mother might name him (no real hopes or dreams for him so it's a little shallow), partially based on him as i know him (focused on presenting himself). it's also, as far as i know, a name mostly used for women. note that my interpretation of paper is usually a trans man.
now, Paige is unisex, it sounds like page, and it's a loved one of mine's favourite name for him, so i like it. i also think it makes sense for when he immigrated to canada with his mother as something they chose, and something he can still keep (being conveniently unisex). Hsu is one of the taiwanese romanizations for Xǔ. im not sure if he'd take on oj's last name. perhaps he'd hyphenate them. he's not particularly attached to his family, but Paige Hsu is quite a pretty name.
bonus: nickel is named Nikola Stević. this one was easy because my interpretation of nickel is kosovar serb. last names come from the father but the exact practice of it is a bit outdated so Stević is likely from his grandfather or great-grandfather (unless im misremembering how it works). i don't like the name Nicholas his name is Nikola. Nicholas sounds like a sweet little boy Nikola sounds like a menace. i see Nicholas everywhere start calling your nickel Nikola
#juice.txt#juice ramble#oj ii#paper ii#ii oj#ii paper#payjay#nickel ii#ii nickel#i love various cultures and naming conventions ❤️#to be clear paper immigrated from taiwan (maybe around 10 ish? 12? not sure) to canada#then moved to america for inanimate insanity (expenses covered by mephone because he just Can do that)#i have a lot of characters that are canadian btw its not just paper alone#but oj has only ever lived in america#nickel lived in kosovo as a child and im still figuring out if he had a stop in canada or not#because i wanna determine for how long he's been friends with baseball#trust me im fucking insane about these things i will go all the way#anyway if you see an error with paper's name TELL ME#i tried my best to make sure the name existed and have found people named exactly that (许佩妍)#but one can never be too sure#olivier-jean im not worried about. id totally meet a dude called olivier-jean. mind you i actually speak french though lmao#french speakers looooove hyphenating jean in their names#also oj is a lot more mixed than just ivorian and brazilian but that's the most 'known' ethnicities he has#forgot to mention this in the tags earlier but baseball is born and raised canadian its just such an ingrained hc i forget its not canon LOL#ii is set in america mephone is just crazy and sponsors everyones immigration because he can do a lot of magical insane things
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I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.
My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting™ her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.
It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.
#im a 'has a panic attack during every injection or iv theyve ever gotten' type of scared of needles#no it genuinely has nothing to do with pain the needle itself is the fear not the using of it#like i told this story before but i have these sewing pins with lil bow ties on them and i had to get my dad to take all the blue ones out#because they were triggering the same part of my brain iv needles do#just the sight of them with the rest of my cute sewing pins was a problem#And the fear of being an inconvenience is so bad i cant eat around people or be in crowded spaces or talk at get togethers#without being paralyzed by fear of Being In The Way. its so bad ive been avoiding using my power chair bc it makes me take up#slightly more space than i would just standing. and i never took my manual out and about because i moved too slowly in it#and i dont take my crutches on planes despite using them everyday bc they cant fold up like my cane can and so are In The Way#one of the big reasons i dont use the chairs in stores is they have back up alarms. and i hate making noises in public#Yes this is part of the reason i want a Rottweiler for my service dog because i want people to look at the doggie Not Me.#I like people! i like being friendly and talking and making little connections with strangers!!! But i cant be the one to initiate or#be In The Way of a peaceful moment#dont look at me#this is also a big issue i have with making friends or changing the nature of a relationship because like. im autistic#I have Rules for social interactions memorized that i will follow. but moving people from one category to another#is difficult. It is too the point i had problems for litteral years talking to my boyfriend as though#he was a person i knew well and cared deeply for because i kept using the 'rando guy im flirting with on the Internet' script#I have commissioners i want to be friendlier with but my brain says No Stop that is an Impolite and Overly informal way to talk to#a customer™ despite them not being customers when they arnt in the commission process#im like thise huskies who are scared of carpet because its Different than the floor they're currently standing on#its Too different:(#and to be clear i am Completely aware of how none of this makes logical sense and is in fact deeply self destructive#That does not fix it. it is so ingrained in my head that im certain i could convince my brain to let me bite off my own fingers#before i could convince it to let me talk to someone at a help desk or ask my order be corrected at a restaurant
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wwwwhats uppp I've been busy but um. I gave Cookie and Michelle middle names and I gave Cookie's Grandma a whole name at some point recently. same old pictures tho
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#Cookie's parents named her after that Grandma to try and win her over bc Madeleine never liked Cookie's dad. it didnt work!#and then they died in an accident and Cookie was raised by Grandma Madeleine. which Im sure was fine. Cookie will tell you it was fine.#Michelle's mom is Hawaiian and her dad is German and they met bc both their families moved to North America to be further away from WW2#So Cookie is more aggressively french canadian than ever. I think Michelle is from the U.S.A. though.#cookie cliquer#adddna#oc tag
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Auron Core moment except he'd get away with it 😭
#yuurivoice#yuurivoice auron#yuurivoice memes#big dick move from a mf running a drug empire 😭 watch him still not get caught LMAO#He got Trish on speed dial he wouldn't even be in the pit for a hour before her ass would be at the door 💀#no bit he'd win his own case too 😭 he has no fear#“your honor have you ever considered changing that wack ass cologne you got on?” 😭#he'd never say that but please consider sassy quick with the comeback Auron 💀🙏🏽#im just yapping#at this point
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i genuinely dont understand how gifsets and fanart get tens of thousands of notes the first month the media releases but a few months later it just gets a couple hundred. this isnt even about wanting more notes i just cannot believe you guys are moving on so fucking fast. its one thing if its a goofy sitcom thats not that serious but i have seen some of the most incredible, intellectual, truly life changing prices of art over the years and posts about them would get 40k notes right after release and maybe 200 max just six months later. how the fuck are you not thinking about it anymore. i will think about it for the rest of my life.
#ive always thought this with the show dark it is in my opinion the greatest show of all time and gifsets now get like 400 notes at best#but after season releases theyd get thousands#AND NOW IM SEEING IT WITH I SAW THE TV GLOW AND THAT MOVIES STILL FRESH IT CAME OUT THIS YEAR#AND IM SEEING GIFS WITH OVER 10K NOTES FROM MARCH BUT NOW THEY HAVE LIKE 300 HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MOVE ON FROM THAT MOVIE#i will never ever ever stop thinking about that movie for the rest of my life im not kidding im considering getting a tattoo of that ghost#its the best movie ive ever seen in my entire life#anyways im gonna post my first gifset of that movie soon expect at least four total in the coming weeks#but i was looking at the tag for caption inspo and saw the difference in notes and got crazy#i saw the tv glow#dark netflix
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i also don’t want to portray myself as faultless. my work isn’t ai and it isn’t copied. but nk will say i Had old pieces that were copied and referenced ai. Yet it isn’t good faith when i apologize, state how i took accountability, and explain thats definitely not the case today because i learned my lessons- to respond with well you made these mistakes in the past so how can i believe you, you are lying, and have not changed.
so i quit. how can i prove myself then besides what i mentioned in the last post. my question is will you even ALLOW me to prove myself. each time i must explain, i place a spotlight on something that was resolved agreeably with the artists, resolved by removing the works, and resolved within myself by learning from it. but by not saying something i also allow You to concoct narratives and have to watch people spread them around and come to me demanding apologies. it is a very uncomfortable very distressing process that has worn me down completely.
never mind that other artists who have copied have not nearly been requested to apologize as much as i have been. never mind that they were forgiven when they removed the works or even when they just say sorry and don’t remove the work at all. But you still choose to hound me afterwards for doing just that?
nk has stated that i have not fixed this. and that i must address it. how many times though? for how long also? who on this planet starts the conversation by recounting all their mistakes, especially when they know they are resolved.
i have had to learn my lessons through cruelty like yours. trust me its a trauma i have to bear and they are not lessons you then forget.
my anger and my feelings of defeat come from the fact that even after nk was still talking like i had not even attempted to make progress. just look at your tone here.
#im going to fking throw up this is the last time i will ever say this#do not come begging to be for another apology i am done#i will never address this issue again okay#i need to say this because no matter what when i see people supporting me now i feel guilty#i recognize it is just because i hate myself#it is because i havent accepted i made mistakes#but i cant accept it because people cant accept it#i cant accept it and i cant move on#and that is why i think its best to leave art#i cant make work i am proud of anymore#i dont want to list names of artists#but i will say that when king chris reposted my work without credit i viewed it the same as when i referenced other artists work#but there was no callout no request even from the comments for credit#and he has millions of followers#i felt like i could not stand up for myself because i have this history#because of this history i can never properly defend myself i feel i must always kneel to it#even though i have changed and realized i was wrong i still have to acknowledge it always
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*adjusts mic* *leans forward* “lan xichen is guilty by admission.” i say, “despite how people often portray him as being innocent and purely a victim of jin guangyao’s manipulation, and he is, but not wholly. he refused to acknowledge the fact that nie mingjue was in the right to be angry at meng yao over what he did during the sunshot campaign. even excusing him. lan xichen OUT RIGHT refused to believe nie mingjue when he said that something about meng yao was off and not to trust him. lan xichen is a smart man. the reason why he didnt notice the things nie huaisang noticed is because he CHOOSE to not have any doubt.” the crowd boos before me.
in the back, a tall and broad figure stands, “they’re right!” the figure booms, its nie mingjue.
#IM NEVER GONNA DROP THIS#EVER.#also that absolute POWER move from nie huaisang to have lan xichen kill jin guangyao.#he really said ‘’you allowed my brother be killed by your ‘friend.’ so how about you kill yours too.’’#his brain. the eighth wonder of the world. truly.#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#nie huaisang#nie mingjue#lan xichen#jin guangyao#meng yao
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Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Dimension 20 (Web Series) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Adaine Abernant/Oisin Hakinvar, Adaine Abernant & Oisin Hakinvar Characters: Adaine Abernant, Oisin Hakinvar, Lucy Frostblade, The Bad Kids (Dimension 20), The Rat Grinders (Dimension 20) Additional Tags: most of these are mentions - Freeform, no beta's we die like lucy frostblade, Pre-Relationship, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, POV Second Person, Colored Text Summary:
Imagine you're a skinny little dragonborn wizard, in a class with a cute elven girl. You don't talk to her, but one of your adventuring party members is pissed thinking that party is getting preferential treatment, so you KNOW about her. You watch from the corner of your eye or from a spot on the back of the class whenever she's actually there.
#i ended up cross posting it to my ao3#its more convenient to read both parts like this#anyway this can both be shipping#and for my aroace adaine truthers out there#please read this as my second favorite trope#genuinely unrequited love#in which oisin is in love with adaine but is content acknowledging that to himself and will never ever make a move to act on those feelings#im too lazy to bring over the tags from my original reblog of the second chapter lmao#but just know i have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS#nobody look at me#im going to go throw myself off a cliff now brb#adaine abernant#adaine o'shaughnessey#oisin hakinvar#oisin x adaine#adaine x oisin#adaine abernant x oisin hakinvar#inkblade#oisaine#adaine/oisin#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20 fhjy
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the most gorgeous man I've ever known sent me a drunk voice message hurt that i left my job at the bar he goes to without telling him and adding that he saw me on tv speaking about palestine, which turned into me telling my ex boss to give him my number, and the sober voice message was much worse because this sweet guy just tells me that he's so proud of me and then i can feel him like talking with a constricted throat saying he understands that i left and closes with "from the river to the sea" and doesn't it just suck that some things have no hope of ever beginning and yet still end somehow
#there is literally no way something could have come of it he lives in that pub and i don't want to go back there#he has addiction problems and I never had a relationship with anyone#it still sucks that these are facts cause i liked him a lot. and also im not kidding when i say he is the hottest dude I've ever seen.#this is maybe the first time i wish i was heterosexual and/or have less impulse control#radio live transmission#sorry over sharing again cause the psychologist still has to tell me when the first appointment will be#(they kinda also told me i dont really need one which is funny bc the first time i try not to do things alone in my life#bc im pretty sure this hyper self reliant and aloof behavior might be a problem and im told actually im doing splendid.#i won at therapy ig)#also i told everyone there that i moved back home because im a lying liar and#thank god he still hasn't done the math that he saw me on tv still in turin#ive had Cold as Ice by the Foreigners playing on loop the entire day trying to get back in character#like. you'd think if i HAVE to experience something close to heartbreak then at least i could have had sex with the#hottest guy in the city. no. i just get the half assed symptoms of it after having conversations with him every weekend for three months#ranging from his cocaine addiction to police violence to the one time he was staring at nothing by the store room where i went to pick stuf#and he offered to take me to miami and i panicked and joked that he didnt have the money and left.#this sucks.
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