#im never going to be good enough for anyone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

loverboykirstein · 2 days ago

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After biting the bullet i just need to ask for more sam🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ im in love with the way u wrote it.

Preferably with dom sam and afab reader. If u write stuff like it maybe some high confessions to esch other that turn into smut. The thought of sam doing everything to pleasure her outside of sex but him being quite greedy while doing it makes me go crazy so if it could be something like this, i would actually marry u in an instant😭

I never requested anything like this so i hope this is okey!! If u have some questions please please text me about it🙇‍♀️ i hope u have a lovely day whenever u may see this and thank u for your writing.

hello my love, ask and you shall receive ᯓᡣ𐭩

smoke sessions // dom!sam

sam (sdv) x afab!reader

wc: 7832

mdni -> unprotected sex, overstimulation, referenced past trauma/ab*sive relationships, teasing, oral (f receiving), drug use (marijuana)

*** it wasn’t until your story was over that you realized how much you had smoked, way more than you had told yourself you would, everything moving just a little bit slower.

he had already rolled another, kept his eyes locked on you as he grabbed two small bottles of wine out of your fridge, scratching the roots of your hair for a split second on his way back to his too-close position on your worn out couch.

your drowsy eyes lingering too long on him, heartbeat in your throat as you caught his, staring back at you with those stupid eyes and that stupid face and you couldn’t figure out why it was suddenly so hot in the room and why your hands were kind of clammy and-

oh. oh.

fuck.

“so,” he finally blinked, snapping the rubber band on his wrist.

“so,” you giggled, unable to help the sheer amount of nervousness running through you, like a teenager in…

…love…? ***

ᥫ᭡。

★🎸🎧⋆｡ °⋆

“good GOD sam what the FUCK?!” you yelled at him, half to tears as you held your purple sword between the two of you.

eyes puffy and red, voice cracking as your fragile hands struggled with the weight of crashing adrenaline.

“two thing- three things,” he sighed, kicking his shoes off and lining them up by the door.

“one, since when have you had this fucking beast,” he laughed, taking your sword from your hands and placing it back by your door.

“two, you gave me a key to your house, dumbass,” you looked at his keys, still in the door. classic. no wonder he just now came around.

“three, since when do you not answer your phone?”.

ah. that thing.

“actually, one more thing, why the hell are you crying?”

damn it.

“sam i-”.

“also, when was the last time you ate? or showered or-”

“sam i kno-”.

“you scared me half to death you kn-”.

“SAMSON,”.

you had never once raised your voice at him, or anyone in the valley for that matter. you scared yourself, covering your face as soon as you said it.

looking at each other like a deer in the headlights, frozen in time.

“i’m sorry i-” you started the clock again, gravity no longer struggling against the weight of the silence your cabin held.

“no no im sorry i shouldn’t have i-” he sighed, turning around and walking out your front door.

fuck. fuck fuck fuck. why do i fucking ruin everything every goddamn ti-

three knocks on your door, not even fully closed, stopping your tears from falling again.

“hi, can i come in?” he poked his head around the opening, shit eating grin plastered on his face.

all you could do was laugh, the first time you had laughed in a while. in a long fucking time.

you waved him in, body already heavy enough on its own, begging to be held in the corner of your couch, not even bothering to make the trek to your bedroom most nights.

“can we start with one question at a time?” he practically pleaded, the softest you had heard his voice in months.

a silent nod, not even bothering to sit up all the way.

you didn’t want to answer anything, you didn’t want to talk at all.

“where have you been?” you could feel the pain in his voice, nearly snapping like a string pulled too tight, strummed one too many times.

“aw not even gonna ask me about my sword? lame,” you huffed, hoping you would be able to avoid the inevitable just a little bit longer.

“okay fine, since when have you had that fucking beast?”

a small tug on your lips, knowing he would eventually always come around and cave in.

you found the strength to sit up, knowing his favorite stories were yours from the mines. his eyes would always glimmer, the most animated faces that could bring a laugh out of anyone, even George.

“wait- before you start, you down?” he held up his fake headphone case, and you knew exactly what he had brought.

“sam you are god in the flesh yes please,”.

he raised an eyebrow at you, a small laugh under his breath as he unzipped the case that you knew would bring an ounce of relief, one that wouldn’t leave you begging for mercy and ginger ale as you opened your eyes.

was it the best idea? probably not. your self-inflected cage near impossible to hold on to, each drag another lock undone.

your mouth moved faster than your brain, begging soul and childish heart trying to take their chance at escape.

to be heard, by more than tile in your shower, by more than your chickens who obviously didn’t know what you were ever saying. by the seeds you planted, the rocks you broke open. by someone.

i can keep it together. yeah, a couple drags won’t hurt. just enough to stop crying for a bit. that’s the last thing he needs to see.

“here,” he handed you the perfectly wrapped blunt, sealed with a swipe of his tongue and calloused fingertips.

his hands a little shaky, silver rings along his fingers worn from prolonged wear, same tarnished look as the bracelets you’d never once seen him take off.

“you got a light?” you asked, looking around to see if you had one lying around, too lazy to make a designated home for most of the things inside your near empty cabin.

in a single flick of his thumb, the lighter you gifted him on a whim ignited in his hand. wrapped in a watercolor mix of blues and greens, the same colors as his eyes.

he never put two and two together, but when Pam had stopped by the only liquor store between the valley and the desert, of course you joined her.

met at the counter with a few snacks you hoped would keep you awake in the mines, as well as some drinks for after, the colors flashed in the corner of your eye, placing it in front of the weathered cashier before she could tell you your total.

you couldn’t figure out why you bought it so quickly until you saw him next, mouth running dry at the thought. you hadn’t done that for sebastian, or abigail, for anyone, and you weren’t nearly as close to him as you were to his best friends. well, at the time.

before the concert happened, the four of you were nearly inseparable. rushing to get your farm work done by the early afternoon, enough time to yourself before you would all settle in sebastian’s room, nearly yelling at each other over a never ending game at his table.

that’s when things flipped upside down, sideways, and every which way other than level, fight or flight activated since. a mix of both, really, settling on a third option of avoidance and breakdown, burying yourself in the hole you didn’t realize you were almost out of.

a hastily written letter in your mailbox, stating you had to be at the bus stop by 4, no later, plans for the day flipped upside down.

you hadn’t been to a concert in forever, and for their band? you wouldn’t miss that for the world.

it didn’t help that there was something different about him when he was on stage, a sultry kind of confidence that made your heart beat funny and your stomach flip.

comfortable, like he really did belong on a stage, born for it. eyes glued to yours for a little too long, verses ending in near whines, others in heart wrenching screams, the truest form of him you had ever seen.

that stupid smirk on his face as he did it, really selling the show. he was made for it, it came naturally. you weren’t sure how the other girls at the show weren’t fawning over him, hoping to grab his attention and sneak backstage.

when he pulled his eyes off you to focus on his bright red guitar, energy radiating off of him as if he couldn’t stay still for a second longer, even if he tried, you were startled back to the present.

a slight weight on your chest when the air finally came back to your lungs, as if you had been holding it that whole time.

a tingling under your skin, fingertips buzzing with god knows what, surely just the reverberation from the speakers, right?

too lost in the show to remember you were in a crowd, just about everyone to your back. guard down, brain fuzzy.

disappointed that their set ended so soon, or it at least felt like it did, the three of them walking behind the curtain and out of your sight.

then he tapped your shoulder before you could even turn around, the one who pushed you to the valley in the first place.

the final straw, leaving with your phone and your wallet, and anything of importance inside a single duffle bag, you took the key from the letter you finally unsealed at your desk.

you wished you had opened it so much sooner, to visit him in his fragile state, hell to see him for the first time in over a decade. but he still managed to mail you that letter, somehow figuring out the correct address.

you didn’t open the letter until you felt like it, forgetting it in your desk drawer as it was the only place you could keep anything mostly private.

a locked journal, grandpa’s letter, and a mess of papers and sticky notes, poor attempts at keeping your work in some kind of order, too many projects and a skeleton crew. all about profit, don’t give a single shit about us, figures.

one fight too many, the lowest blows he had ever thrown your way. you would have sworn you killed a man with the way he spoke down to you, all because he found out your new supervisor was a younger man.

it didn’t matter that you explained he didn’t even live in Zuzu, had a beautiful family, and had only spoken to you via email, you were ruining everything.

you were the problem, the worst disease the universe had ever known, an ungrateful liar who was lucky to have him.

you mirrored your mother too much, or maybe your father, a disappointment at best, too broken and scarred to be loved by anything at all. let alone sincerely.

you were too difficult, too much. emotional, crazy, worthless. and you were lucky to have him, after all he swore up and down that he was the only one who would ever put up with you.

the words you could eat, swallow them down, throw them up behind closed doors. they would spill out mixed with bile and tears, the bathroom fan and shower running to hide enough of the noise.

a never ending cycle, to sit down, shut up, and learn your place. to do as you were told, to look the way you were told, to be what you were told. but when his palm swiped clear across your face, you couldn’t stomach it.

you were just so easy to mold into whatever he pleased, never given the chance to grow a spine, just a bundle of nerves and blood on the floor.

living in greyscale, you weren’t even sure if you were alive. and you weren’t exactly sure if you wanted to be.

so when a year of color, vibrant and warm, shut down at the turn of your head, so did you.

you had nearly forgotten entirely, building yourself up, to some degree at least. able to walk, to get out of bed every day, to do things you never thought possible. a fairytale, in a way.

“long time no see, huh?” his eyes were the same swirling mess you remembered, each word pulling out another vertebrae of your makeshift spine you built without direction.

linked in all the wrong places, nerves all jumbled up. and it hurt like a goddamn bitch to have them pulled out so rough, shattering in his grasp.

“didn’t think you could leave forever, could you? blocking all my numbers only got you so far. see you’ve turned into quite the whore haven’t you? did i teach you nothing?”

circling, spinning, dizzy, fainting, everything in between and nothing at all. you didn’t know where you were, devoid of color and vision blurred no matter how fucking hard you tried.

lungs empty, collapsing as he clawed his way through your chest to break you down again.

you couldn’t remember how, or when you got back to the valley, all you could do was mimic other forms, using the chatter of the people who accepted you as one of them, poorly shoving yourself into a unrecognizable form scarred to the brink of death.

you had lied to sam over and over and over, saying you had come down with something, you had a lot of stuff to catch up on, any half-assed excuse you could to hide your truest form away.

to slip back into all your bad habits, only taking enough time to do the bare necessities for the farm and the animals, not bothering with much else.

too much happening to begin to comprehend, endless pit of dread on top of so many feelings that left you confused and scared in a good way, sam’s unwavering stare on that stage replaying over and over, so many conflicting wires that your system crashed and all the circuits burned out.

blocking every number until your ears nearly bled, over and over and over, unknown numbers driving you insane.

paranoid that he would find you, that a piece of him had followed you, it was just too fucking much.

you didn’t even know how long it had really been, a week, a month?

you didn’t feel human anymore, you hadn’t since that earth shattering ending.

but there it was, color, in the form of flame illuminating the eyes that matched the vessel in his hand, waiting for you to lean in and pull the smoke in.

frozen, blunt between your shaking fingers, your ears stopped their ringing.

“are you-” he tilted his head to the side, eyebrows slightly pulled together as he watched your face with so much intent.

blinking hard, remembering that he couldn’t read your mind, that you were probably freaking him out for no good reason, you nodded your head and brought the kindest of offerings to your lips.

“you’re a shit liar, i hope you know that,” he almost laughed, that stupid fucking smile on his face as he watched yours, and you swore you burned alive on the spot.

hyper focused, holding that damned lighter to the end, watching as you pulled the smoke in, filling your lungs you didn’t think you had anymore.

trying your best to remember to take it slow, handing it off to him after your first long inhale, the sweetest hint of vanilla at the end.

he remembered?

it was the same taste as it was that first time you hung out for real, out by the quarry for no good reason. just talking, so much talking, hands in pockets and steps slow, following nothing at all, just the urge to keep silence at bay a little bit longer.

that evening a core memory, all happy afterwards. the first time you weren’t carrying around the weight of disaster on your shoulders, on your chest.

“alright, nowwwww,” he said through some heavy breathing, smoke held for a little too long.

“okay, okay fine,”.

you tried your best to make the tale exciting, about the serpents you fought and how you found that first prismatic shard.

that there was some sort of magic in the desert, a hint left on the cave walls to make an offering to whoever was out there, the best sword you had ever laid eyes on.

was the purple a little obnoxious? sure, but it was also a reminder of your strength, at least enough to find one of the rarest minerals out there, something you were able to do on your own.

it wasn’t until your story was over that you realized how much you had smoked, way more than you had told yourself you would, everything moving just a little bit slower.

oh. oh.

fuck.

“so,” he finally blinked, snapping the rubber band on his wrist.

“so,” you giggled, unable to help the sheer amount of nervousness running through you, like a teenager in…

…love…?

“listen, i’m sorry i scared you, i really didn’t mean to, i just got worried, y’know?” he shrugged, clouded in what seemed like…embarrassment?

“it’s okay, i should have told you, i-”

“did i do something wrong? if i said something you should’ve just slapped me or something y-”

“no, no no, it wasn’t anything you did, i promise,” you grabbed his hand, like it was an instinct or something, trying your best to make it clear to him that it really wasn’t his fault at all.

it made your stomach flutter, brain stop working for a second. you dropped it after a second too long, clearing your throat after.

“what’s going on, then? i can’t just sit here and know somethings wrong and not at least try and do something, i just-”

“okay, okay, but you keep this between us okay?” your eyes pleaded, begging him to keep that part of you away from everyone, everything.

what am i doing?

“yes ma’am,” he nodded, nothing but seriousness in his voice, adjusting towards you to express his full attention, something he could rarely do.

unable to meet his eyes, you worked up the nerve, or whatever it was holding you back, to yank on the string holding your pride together. you placed it in his hand, unraveled, bloodied, gone for good.

it wasn’t linear, a jumbled mess of words spilling out faster than you could catch them. every syllable foreign to you, telling some sort of story that didn’t seem to have much plot, back and forth between before and after, you weren’t even sure.

you were so fucking scared, never telling a soul about the years you spent in your own little hell, never even bothering to ask for help.

so small, so frail, spilling out all the nastiest parts of your memory, your being, onto your living room floor. a mess you weren’t sure how to clean up, stains permanent in the hardwood.

but through it all you were so busy thinking about the nerves that wracked through you, suffocated by his fixated stare, holding that stupid string to your pride so delicately in his hand, just in case you wanted it back.

you knew you couldn’t have it back, too deformed in your gutted state, embarrassed and ashamed of who you claimed to be, fraudulent identity and all.

but it wasn’t the way your vocal cords spit the leftover bits of your soul out, it was realizing how close he was, and how the way he was looking at you made you feel hot.

how grabbing his hand for a moment in time made you feel awkward, catching you off guard.

the overwhelming heat of it all, face scalding, stammering your words into makeshift sentences, if you could even call them that.

“so, um, yeah. als-” don’t say anything else don’t don’t don’t.

“you’ve been here this whole time, alone, and petrified? you know i would’ve come stay with you, or help on the farm or something,” he spoke soft and stern, a bubbly sort of mix that made you hiccup. “he lives in Zuzu? what part?”

his eyes squinted a little, knuckles white in angered fists, unnoticed before. how long have they been like that?

“south side, right off the main highway. kinda by the..”

right by the skatepark.

“skatepark”.

you nodded silently, connecting the fact that they probably know each other.

“i’ll take care of it. don’t worry,”. he handed you a gentle smile, a cover up for his tensed jaw and hard blinks. “and i’ll get’cha a new phone, number, all that good stuff, m’kay,”.

he’s just…being really nice?

you tried your best to ignore that same feeling bubbling in your chest, the butterflies, the tingling in your fingers, the nerves.

“you don’t have to, it’s okay i really sh-”

“hush. let me take care of you,”.

seven words that melted into you on contact, seeping into your bloodstream like chaos.

he…wants to take care…of me?

“sam i-”

“ah ah ah- shush, missy,”. he inched a little closer, pointing a playful finger in your face, just to tap it on the tip of your nose.

he’s…fuck what the hell is going on with me?

“i want to take care of you, i’d walk to the ends of the damn earth if it meant you didn’t go MIA again,”.

where is this coming from? am i hearing things?

“you’ve carried all…this…your whole life. let me help, ‘kay?”

how do i set it down? how do i let you take this knowing how hard it is to bear?

why do you care so much?

don’t you have your own things to worry about? what about vincent? your dad? yourself?

for me? i haven’t done anything in return, i just, what is going ON.

“i care because-”

oh my god did i say that out loud ?

“yes, you did, can you listen to me for a minute, angel?”

angel? who- i- wait a minute.

“hey, look at me,” he grabbed your hand, mirroring your grasp from earlier, except his was steady and strong, no sign of letting go.

“listen, i didn’t want to ruin anything, but i-”

oh my god i’m fucking-

“sam i think im in love with you,”.

shit.

out of breath, startled, frozen in fear at your lack of restraint, lack of control. first you hand him your pride, and then admit what you’d been pushing down this whole time?

so desperate to be heard, and he had open ears the whole time.

you didn’t want to be a burden, the one who only always brought the mood down, the one everyone felt like they needed to worry about. choosing to push it down, push it away, so that they didn’t.

but you’d been pushing this down too, nervous system sounding the alarms when feelings that even resembled something romantic began to surface, real or not.

you denied every comment from abigail, seb, alex, even vincent, thinking they were just trying to set you up because you guys got along.

really well.

and hung out all the time.

but this, you at your lowest, pride removed, walls crumbled, truest form you could show, mixed with a mouth that ran a little bit faster than your brain did, overflowing before you even knew what you were saying.

your hand still in his, breath held as you waited for one of two life altering answers. to keep him by you, or for things to be uncomfortable from this moment forward.

what the fuck was i thinking? what if he doesn’t feel the same? oh god what about penny- god am i a fucking moron?

“oh thank fucking god,” he sighed, yanking you from your awkward distance from him to his lap, the tightest hug ever known, his face buried in the crook of your neck.

in something near fantasy, the gravity stopped again, but this time to watch as its work finally paid off, no longer playing tug of war with your souls to make one of you confess.

wrapping your fingers in his hair at the base of his head, praying that nothing would tear him away even if the entire valley was on fire.

“i don’t think you know how long i’ve been waiting to hear you say that,” his breath tickled the exposed skin of your neck, pulling nothing but a few small giggles out of your chest.

“mmm since you were eye-fucking me at the show?” you don’t know where this buzzing confidence came from, another sentence too fast for your rationale to halt.

“well yes, but, more like right after that night at the quarry,”.

“that was like, almost a year ago!” you pulled back to get a look at his face, hoping it would be a blushing mess, that you would get to see that beaming smile you loved so dearly.

your drawback reluctantly pulling him away from your skin, his face was cocky.

“i know,” he said it so, certain, like you just told him the sky was blue. “i knew you’d be mine. didn’t have to rush a thing,”.

“oh? and how’d you know that?” you tilted your head a little to the side, eyebrow raised, acting like you didn’t feel the same, that you do remember that night like it was yesterday.

“oh please,” he rolled his eyes, drama queen, “you think i couldn’t tell?”

“oh what ever,” you scoffed, unaware that you were really doing anything to make it obvious, hell it wasn’t even obvious to you.

“you’re cute,” he kissed the tip of your nose, pulling you back in as if he was afraid to lose you, arms wrapped so tight that it felt like he was putting you back together.

“shush,” you mumbled into his ear, breath hot on his neck, swearing you felt him shiver at the feeling.

“mmm, nah, don’t think so,” you felt him pinch at your sides a little, making you squirm around in his lap a little too much, your giggles filling his heart to the brim, spilling over and filling his lungs with such warmth he didn’t know how to contain it.

but he knew what he was doing, knowing you were ticklish at the sides, holding back a faint groan at the innocence of your actions, the mild amount of friction making his stoned brain all fuzzy.

first, you said those words he had been dying to hear, second, here you were in his lap, giggling into his ear and hips flush with his.

he couldn’t stop it, the tent in his pants obvious in a matter of seconds.

and of course you couldn’t hold back the slight gasp as you felt it press against you, the smallest little moan as you settled into it.

the two of you sat in silence for a moment, waiting for the other to say something, to do something.

making up his mind, his hands gripped your hips hard, moving your achy little cunt against his length.

a hum reverberated in your chest, settling into the slow ruts, his hands guiding the way.

“feel good, princess?” his voice an octave lower, settling perfectly down in your core.

“mhmm,” you tried to go a little faster, a little harder, something. “wan’ more,”.

“yeah? use your words baby,”. his grip in full control, holding back your attempt to satiate the need that seemingly came out of nowhere.

you couldn’t even remember the last time you had been touched by someone else, just the occasional work of your fingers as your mind wandered, letting it take you wherever it wanted.

being high, being nervous made it feel all the more overwhelming, body encased in his scent and subtly dominate disposition.

“wan’ more of you, please,”.

he let your hips roll harder, longer, just a few times before he held you still again, frustrated whimper spilling from your lips.

“sammyyy, quit bein’ mean,”. his grip too firm, too steady, nothing but a devilish giggle in his throat.

“you sure you wanna do this, sweetheart?”

you could tell his restraint was slipping, needing those words of approval from you before he made you his, before he gave into his greedy nature and take what was his all along.

“yes, please sammy, wanna feel ya,”.

you didn’t recognize yourself, begging with such pity that his eyes grew tenfold, tummy pulling tight at the complete control you handed him so easily.

one swift move, pushing himself off the couch while wrapping your legs around him, your giggles bouncing around in his skull at a million miles an hour.

he moved with such haste, desperate to hear you, to feel you, to see you fall apart under him, to claim you for good.

he laid you down on your bed, gently resting your frame against the plush mattress. the only light in the room was your bedside lamp and the moonlight seeping through your windows, the two of you the only bodies left on earth.

“promise you’ll be good f’me?” he purred in your ear, fingertips dancing on your thighs.

“mhm, i will,”. nodding with frustration, willing to do just about anything to satiate the fire already consuming your walls, twitching around nothing at all.

your beady eyes so innocently begging, completely unaware of the man you were bringing out of him, something downright feral.

“good girl,” he swiped his tongue across his top teeth, sharpened canines shimmering under the dim lights.

the phrase stirred something up inside you, eyes wide and pleading, body his.

crawling on top of you, he pulled you up the mattress, looking down at the exposed skin of your tummy, the sudden tightness of your shirt barely hiding a thing.

his hand brushing up against your clothed clit, just enough pressure to make the frustration slither down to the tips of your toes.

“sammyyy,” you whined with a puppy dog stare, bottom lip jutted to really sell it to him.

“yes?” that stupid smirk on his face, every move calculated as if he’d rehearsed it a hundred times over.

“please touch me,”. you couldn’t sound any more desperate, almost pathetic, just the way he wanted you.

“i am touching you, my love,”.

his purrs were criminal, so thick that it saturated your bloodstream, your brain forced into slow motion.

“asshole,” you whimpered, trying to grab his wrist and move him where you wanted, too desperate to play the teasing game.

“excuse me?” he shook his wrist free, grabbing the sides of your face and forcing you to look into the blown out pupils of his, so sickeningly exciting. “that’s not how we get what we want now, is it?”

“i know you want it too,” you kept whining, eyes glossy in need, pushing your thighs together in hopes it would do something.

“be careful what you wish for, darling,”. the laugh he barely let out was almost sinister, he knew how badly you wanted it, and how he was going to abuse that.

he sat up straight, yanking your shorts and underwear off in one swift motion, pushing one of your thighs open with his knee that was once at your side.

your top teeth bruising your bottom lip, holding back a giggle that was mixed with every emotion you could think of, all of it bubbling in your chest.

the middle finger of his right hand swiping up your slit as he came back down, greedy lips wanting yours again.

your body melting into his touch, gentle traces driving you fucking. insane.

“more-” you tried to beg through his feverish kisses, barely giving you enough room to breathe. so in unison, in tune, made for each other.

as he swallowed up your words, you felt his long finger dip inside you, just past your begging hole that was so desperate to be filled.

your whimpers settling on his tongue, sweet enough to give him a sugar rush, to make him crave so much more, you were driving him insane.

the amount of nights he had fucked his fist to the idea of you, to the sight of you in that too-short skirt you wore at the festival of the moonlight jellies, ocean breeze exposing just a little too much, completely unknowing.

the way the dress you adorned on spirits eve pushed your tits up, nearly spilling out as he jumpscared you in the depths of the maze.

the shirts you wore at game nights, perfume clouding his every move as it radiated off of your pulse points. a little too low cut, a little too big, on full display to him as you leaned over the table.

the blush on your face when you gifted him every single time, teeth tugging at your bottom lip as you looked up at him for approval.

and the swimsuit you wore at the beach, sitting next to him as he watched vincent play in the water, instantly throbbing as he watched you oblige to his little brothers wishes for you to come play with him.

the urge to make you a mother right then and there, watching your top hold on for dear life as you lifted vincent out of the water and throwing him back in, your ass on full display as your back was turned to him.

you drove him fucking crazy. every time you got a little to close to alex, hell even seb, something hot boiled under his flesh, jealousy.

you were his, whether you knew that or not. he wouldn’t have it any other way.

and here you were under him, tight walls wrapped around his finger, begging him for more more more.

a dream, no less, you were finally where he wanted you this whole time, since the first time he laid eyes on you.

“still wan’ more?” he whispered in your ear, peppering kisses on the side of your neck as he began to pump in and out of you, sigh of relief spilling from your parted lips.

you nodded, eyes closed, soaking in everything you could.

you felt his teeth sink into the spots he so gently kissed, sucking bruises dark enough to last for days in spots impossible to cover, down until he was halted by the collar of your shirt.

a frustrated whimper from your lungs as he pulled his finger out of you, tearing your shirt off in a blur, goosebump ridden skin on full display.

every inch of you exposed to him in the dim lighting, ethereal.

“good god you are beautiful,” breathtaking, his words nearly a whisper, trailing kisses down your torso.

hooded eyes looked up at you as he dressed every inch of you in admiration, practically praising the ground you walked on.

he would give you the world if you asked, hell the whole universe and everything beyond it.

at this moment in time, all he wanted to do was fuck you senseless, to make you finish on him again and again and again even after you swore it was too much.

a babbling mess, shaking, marked up, his.

as his kisses lead to the bottom of your stomach, flush with your hips, the silver dog-tag chain he promised to never take off grazed against your heat, the metal ice cold.

he looked up at you with hunger, a man starved for days waiting for the chance to satiate his thirst. a single nod, teeth tugging on your kiss-bitten bottom lip.

and god did he give you more, drinking you up before you could take back your approval, heaven sent.

his tongue writing i love you’s and i want you’s all over, teasing your greedy hole that was desperately waiting to be filled with him.

he was messy, your slick all over him, forgetting to breathe. his fingers dug into the plush of your thighs, fingers nearly turning white at the pressure.

he let you trap him, encase him in your grasp, gasps that held moans hostage the strength he needed to forget every human need, the only thing on his mind was to please.

your fingers tangled up in his hair, pushing his head into you as if he could get any closer.

as his tongue lapped at your swollen cunt, his nose pressed against your clit, pulling that ache in your core a little closer, the knot a little tighter.

he could tell by the growing arch in your back, the pressure in which your thighs encased him, the heightened pace of your whimpers.

he wouldn’t stop even if the whole world relied on it, you were so close at just the work of his tongue, the mild vibrations from his moans, the sting of his fingers losing feeling on your thighs.

“b-baby- pl-please don’t s-stop,”. your words choppy and mere stutters, cut off by the swirl his tongue made around your swollen clit, just to find its way back to your sopping hole.

he listened, that was his plan, he wasn’t going to stop. not until your body remembered every inch of him, knew it belonged to him.

another string on his guitar pulled a little too tight, you came, and came hard.

fighting against the grip he had on you, tugging on the thick blonde strands wrapped around your fingers, trying your best to grind against his face, but he listened, not. stopping.

incoherent words mixed in with your breathless moans and high pitched whimpers, rutting his own hips against your mattress as he drank up every drop you had to offer him, the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted.

he slowly pulled away as your legs began to calm, a moment of peace as you caught your breath for a short second.

“s’fuckin good,” hunger only fueled by the meal you had offered him, he needed more of you, and he needed it now.

he pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it on the floor before taking his place on top of you again, missing his lips on yours.

the light glimmered on him, toned and strong, adorned with piercings you had no idea he had.

dermals placed carefully on his hips, metal bars through his nipples, you were drooling.

his mouth on yours, sharing the taste of you as he groped every inch of you he could.

swallowing up your moans, you needed him and you needed him now.

reaching down, you unbuckled his belt, jeans right after.

his queue to strip, to expose himself as much as you, eyes stuck to you as he adjusted to yank his jeans down in unison with his boxers.

his dick slapped against him, your eyes widening as a sliver of fear shook your heart, knowing it would be a stretch.

as expected, a piercing adorned his dripping tip, all red and swollen and begging.

“sammy please,” you whimpered as he rubbed his thumb over his leaking head, eyes hooded and breath heavy.

“please what, baby?” he hummed, lining himself up to your throbbing cunt, tracing his head up and down your slit, so slow you thought your heart might collapse.

“just fuck me already,” you barked, patience run thin and you swore you would die right then and there if he didn’t fuck you stupid.

thrill and fear mixed in your throat, slack-jawed as he began to dip inside, the sting of the stretch making your body run hot, whimpers of pain as you adjusted to his sheer size.

“you can take it, baby, can’t you?”

he mustered up every ounce of strength he had to sound collected, even though the grip of your walls was breaking him apart.

so warm, so wet, so much better than he could have ever dreamt.

“ ‘s a lot,” unsure of even yourself, could you really take it?

one hand of his leaving his fingerprints on your bones, the other grabbed the sides of your face, forcing your glossed over eyes to face his, to listen.

“isn’t this what you begged for, dirty girl?” the cockiest look on his face, forcing you to look at him as he inched his way inside, swallowing him up so perfectly, fingers pressing your teeth against the insides of your cheeks.

your face ran hot, embarrassed at your sudden defeat, your cunt obviously wanting more.

more, more, more.

“use your words, bunny, c’mon,” he pressed his forehead against yours, teeth sharp as they barely held back a cruel laugh that was simmering all the way down to his cock.

“mhm, y-yes,” you were able to mumble out of your lips that were smushed together, a slight nod against his too-tight grip.

“are you going to be good?”

without a second to respond, a single buck of his hips as he bruised the sweetest bit of your cervix. you swore he was in your throat, so incredibly full.

head falling back into the rustled up blankets, one of your legs swung over his broad shoulder, going deeper.

the moans he rattled out of you were beyond unholy, something you didn’t even think you were capable of.

your gummy walls sucked him off so well, molded to the shape of him upon entry.

your body didn’t feel real. each thrust of need, desperation, a year's worth of pent up feelings spilling out at the expense of your sopping wet pussy.

“s’ fuckin tight my god,”. his tone was downright feral, teeth pinned together as strands of his hair fell onto his forehead.

he looked so strong, teaching your cells that you belonged to him now.

“don’t get all- f-fucking hell, shy on me, c-c’mon,”. barely able to process his words, so lost in the high of his cock pounding into you over, and over, and over again, like his damn life depended on it.

his hand around your throat, fingers closing off the rush of blood to your fuzzy little brain, snapped out of your fucked-out daze.

“you’re f-f-fucking mine, y-you understand?” the colorful mix of his eyes overtaken by the dark, void of all color as he fell pussy-drunk.

“do you understand?” his grip got tighter, your eyes rolling back into your skull, the only thing you could focus on was the violent approach of your next climax.

somehow you forced a meek nod, his grip relaxing enough for the blood to come back through, creaming his length without any warning.

“s-s- oh my- f-fucking hell- ah!”

incoherent at best, babbles and whimpers as your legs shook, overstimulation hitting you like a train.

“there you go, suckin’ me off s’good, such a good girl,”. he didn’t falter once, pace steady and ruthless, leaving you drooling and cock-drunk.

he titled his head to the ceiling, chest heaving and heart racing, mad at himself for not doing this earlier, but so, so fucking starstruck that he actually got to be inside you.

you felt him twitch inside you, how his grip tightened on you, you knew he was close despite your drunken state.

he wanted to fill you up so badly, but he would be fucking damned if he let you off with only two orgasms, he wanted to fuck you downright dumb.

“got another f’me? i ain’t done with you baby,”.

“ ‘s too much- s-sammy t-too m-much,” you felt the prick of tears at the corners of your eyes, fingertips buzzing as they dug into your bedding.

he didn’t care. too focused on the way your tits bounced with each bone-breaking thrust, the sounds you made for him so easily, the way you let him use you.

“i’m not done with you,” his voice more of a growl, fitting for the sharp ends of his canines and primal nature, walls fluttering around him as if they were begging for punishment.

pulling your other leg up, a squeal as he somehow hit a whole new world inside of you, stars and colored specks blinding you.

knees by your temples, the back of your thighs burning as you were folded in two.

“ha- c’see myself inside ya- f-fuck,”.

all 9 and a half inches of him swallowed up inside, bottom of your tummy bulging with each slam of his hips on your ass.

sobbing on his cock, wasted on the lewd squelching of your syrup guiding him in and out, in and out, over and over again.

his hand somehow managed to press on the bulge he created, your tears streaming down into your hair, drooling babbles as your body short circuited, synapses unable to grasp the sheer stimulus of it all.

“gonna fill ya up, s-stuff ya full ‘f me,”. the twitching impossible to ignore, the weight of him stuffing you to the brim, met with your fluttering hole.

pace beginning to falter, the final push needed for you to spill all over him again, body lost in another world as you rode out your third high.

guttural moans filled the air of your room, hot white ribbons coated your battered walls. stuffing you full, writing every word he wished he would have said sooner deep inside.

every i love you, i miss you, you’re all i’ve ever wanted, i wrote this song for you, please don’t go, all of it.

with the spasms of his hips calmed, he let your legs down gently, one at a time.

color flooding back to his eyes, that soft smile taking over once again.

his gentle hand wiped away the tear-stains on your face, brushing away the fly-aways of your tousled hair from your sweat-pricked skin.

still deep inside, still hard, barely heard whimpers as he moved around, he didn’t want a drop to spill out of you.

“you’re an angel,” he hummed, pressing a few gentle kisses to your forehead, last one planted to the tip of your nose.

all you could do was giggle, brain so mushy that you didn’t even bother to deny his sweetness. his adoration.

“let’s get’cha cleaned up, yeah? you did so good for me,”. a few more gentle kisses scattered along your face, satisfied hum at your sugar-coated giggles, the smile uncontrolled on your lips.

a hiss through his teeth as he slid out of you, a wince of your own at the sudden emptiness, almost feeling wrong.

he wrapped both arms around you, locking your legs around his torso, lifting you in one swift movement. too fucked-out to even question how he could lift you nearly deadweight, snuggling your face in the crook of his neck the moment you were upright.

letting him carry you to the bathroom, he flipped the light switch on and set you down gently on the toilet as he fell to his knees to turn the faucet for your bathtub.

petting your leg as he waited for the water to warm, closing the drain when it was just the way he wanted it.

“be right back, m’kay?” he kissed the crown of your head, leaving you all alone for the first time in hours.

head in your hands, elbows pressed into your aching thighs, trying to process what just happened.

from a void of breakdown and destruction, to falling apart at the seams willingly, to sobbing on sam’s cock, all too much for your heart to process, for your mind to wrap around.

“hi pretty,” his hums gentle, crouching down to feed you some water, baby sips.

“hi,” you felt all shy, his presence all-consuming, giggling near uncontrollably.

you felt yourself coming down from your high, both highs, drowsy and spacey, but comfortable.

“so…” he drug out, flush across the bridge of his nose.

“so?” you mocked playfully, running your fingers through his hair.

“first….i think you’d look real pretty with a lil’ collar…” he trailed, almost embarrassed. “nothin crazy…just our little secret y’know?”

the idea had crossed your mind before, but this time it made your swollen pussy twitch despite its battered state.

his.

“second….i love you. i always have,”.

--------------------------

hello! sorry this took a while, i hope it's what you were looking for!

i have a few other requests that are in the works, those will be coming soon.

i would also love to build off of this... longfic maybe???

thanks for stopping by! i love you all! mwuah!!

currently waiting for my ring @whoreforsam

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧

⭑.ᐟ lmk if you would like to be tagged in future works!

ᥫ᭡。

#i want sam to get me a collar #sorry cant stop thinking about it #stardew valley #sdv sam #sam sdv #sdv smut #stardew valley sam #sdv #sdv sam x reader #sdv sam x female reader #ao3 #no beta we die like men #if there are mistakes no there arent wdym #sdv sam smut #dom!sam #i love u mwuah

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javierduffy · 2 months ago

Text

just a few javieran horse headcanons because i like them a normal amount

branwen

- tall AND fat. kieran makes sure he’s always fed (maybe even accidentally a teensy bit overfed. just because kieran can’t help but indulge him when he butts him with his head or nuzzles at his pockets when he knows there’s treats in there. but never too much because ‘obesity is a problem, even in animals !’). probably about 17hh, taller than average for a kentucky saddler but nothing too big. especially since kieran himself is quite tall

- VERY well-tempered, both naturally, as well as because kieran has literally made him bulletproof. bagged him, blanketed him, stood, jumped, backflipped onto and off of him. this kindly gentleman of a horse only spooks when he wants to be bratty specifically.

- i think he’s about 6 or so, came from the stables kieran worked at after being orphaned, he was just a colt when kieran was just a kid. kieran learned how to birth foals quickly, and branwen happened to be one of them. with the way that they fell in love with each other and the way that branwen whinnied and pranced up to the fence when kieran came back to buy him after the army didn’t work out, you’d think that horse was born just for him.

- his favourite treats, in order, are rutabaga (kieran’s secret for branwen’s glossy coat. also why he’s kinda fat.), boiled potatoes mixed into his oats, apples, and fresh greens. he’s simultaneously incredibly easy to please because of the simplicity of the latter parts of his favourites list and also very needy and complicated because kieran so loves to make his pony happy with his absolute favourite treats, so he tries his very best to get branwen’s eccentric tastes pleased once falling into the VDL’s.

- i always say “a horse’s favourite thing to do is hurt itself”, and i think this statement holds relatively true for branwen as well, though there’s a 25% chance that he’s actually hurt, a 50% chance that he’s only mildly injured or spooked and he’s playing it up to get kieran to dote on him, and a 25% chance that he will protect kieran with his life when they’re in a dire situation (see: snake on the ground or gunfire nearby. or even god forbid a spare tumbleweed find it’s way rolling nearby.) despite kieran’s last wish being his horse getting injured. branwen thinks that he’s gotta be The Man and protect his dad sometimes. it does not help in any situation ever whatsoever.

- branwen is the PERFECT companion for a trail riding date. he’s settled, calm, has a great gait, and as a gelding, truly is not worried about other horses being “faster” than him, so he never gets rowdy nor has any problems when partner riders/horses crowd him. kieran is allowed to ask for as many kisses as he pleases because branwen will never jump when javier’s gold-tipped boots poke him in the side and boaz irritatedly flicks his flank with his tail. truly a goated wingman. also never complains about long rides, and enjoys being out of camp with his rider for as much as physically possible for both of them, so he’s never barnsour in either direction.

boaz

- as an american paint, he’s naturally short and stocky. saddle ends up being a bit loose, though, as javier isn’t as dedicated to keeping him perfectly fed or groomed. he loves him, sure, but horses are somewhat of tools to him, so he kinda does slightly more than bare minimum to keep him kempt and healthy. around 14.5hh, slightly shorter than average and quite dense with muscle

- temperamentally a bit volatile. this horse has just as much drama as his rider, if not a little more. doesn’t like something ? ridden too long ? that stick looks too much like a snake ? hasn’t spent enough time with kieran that day ? he will snort and grunt and bunny hop if javi isn’t on him, and shudder hard enough the saddle shakes underneath him if he is. boaz likes to please his rider, but he also demands pleasure himself, and has no issue with “accidentally” placing a hoof on his owners nice, intentionally clean boots, and subsequently slowly leaning more and more of his weight onto it when he doesn’t immediately get what he wants. bratty pony. generally, he keeps javier safe, though, when it comes down to it.

- around 5 years old. after dutch found javier trying to steal chickens the first time they met, he soon took him back to that ranch and their first take as gang leader and member was a 1 year old grey paint colt for javi to train and subsequently ride. until he was rideable, javier rode a morgan that was formerly hosea’s, named carolina, while he lead boaz everywhere behind him.

- favourite treats, in order, are corn cobs (especially dried), prickly pear fruit AND cactus, sugar cubes, and sliced apples. will force javier to share his maiz with him. javier has always sliced his apples up since he was a colt, not only because javi simply finds comfort in toying with his knife, but also because boaz will not eat them otherwise. javi will also cut all of the spines off of the cactus before letting boaz eat them.

- in terms of injury, boaz is the most dramatic tank on the planet. this horse could arthur morgan-style run face first into a tree and then fall off a cliff and walk it off. but not before he gimps and limps and whines and teeth grinds his way into javier leading him instead of riding him for the next mile or two. once kieran started taking care of him, there is also a 25% chance of boaz faking a terribly painful injury just to get kieran to dote on him.

- kinda the worst wingman ever LMFAO easily annoyed, easily aroused, easily offended, and as a stallion, HAS to walk in front of the “herd” (his rider’s boyfriend and his horse). pins his ears back, smashes into personal space, flicks branwen with his tail (and preferably kieran, if he can reach him) even sometimes will nip at branwen if the latter tries to calmly make this date a date and not a life or death race (whoever loses, their dad is gay) and walk side-by-side to aid their riders’ hand holdings. will make executive decisions via stopping or veering off for fresh green grass beside the trail, will at points actively attempt to shudder javier out of his saddle (has succeeded once when javi was distracted by a story being excitedly told by kieran), and will also spook and take off running so fast javier thinks it must have broken his neck from the velocity. generally makes trail rides a living hell, but kieran finds it charming, and it makes for some cute shoujo-style “omg … *reaches out to help you up after your horse bucks you off because he saw a log that looked nothing at all and everything like a cougar and pink and white soft bubbles surround me* are you okay ? here, let me help.” moments. maybe some day boaz will be allowed off of the national american terrorist list written by javier “rizzless rider” escuella

ok im tired and that’s all i can think of please enjoy and feel free to contribute 👍 i love them so bad im gona cry

#i’m at the gym for the first time since my od and ouugghh i’m so emotional #it’s 2am aslo. ouu they haunt me #i love thinking about them being silly little domestic cowboys #and just going on dates and riding their little horsies #my fav horse girls !1!!11!1!1!! even tho javi isn’t a horse girl really but in my heart he is cuz kieran loves trail rides #and so javieran go on trail rides a lot as well as “’riding into town’ as an excuse to get out of camp together #javier is so good at listening he truly learned the art of shutting up when he couldn’t speak english and also was learning in america that #he really should trust sparingly because the new world was so incredibly hostile to him from the start simply for being who he was and where #he came from #so he’s such a great active listener and while it’s kinda a trauma response it also works very well for javierans relationship because kiera #has never in his life ever felt important or safe or like anything he said mattered to anyone so perfect brilliant ‘i’m listening go on’ jab #vier makes kieran feel so loved and heard in ways he’s never ever in his life experienced and javi takes them fishing and riding and to the #stables constantly because he’s LISTENED to kieran and kieran never has to ask to do something he wants to do because javi’s already HEARD h #im (and he also knows kieran would never ask for anything first ever because he never feels like he deserves anything at all. nor even feels #safe enough to dare).#and javier gets his cake and eats it too when kieran asks and asks and asks because kieran cares about EVERYTHING right from the getgo beau #se unlike javier kieran has been entirely unable to turn his heart off at all in any capacity so he loves and loves ans loves against his wi #ll so javier has been so adored from the start because kieran can’t HELP it so he gets him gifts and learns things for him and javi just as #much never has to ask for much other than courage from kieran. ever. can anyone hear me is anyone lidtening ouuu #ok enough sorry they make me so emptipnal #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #javieran #kieran duffy #javier escuella #text #hero's talking to himself again #hero’s waxing poetry again #i think that was the tag ¿#im gonna throw up i miss them so bad they’re everything to me oouuggyuuuy

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