#im losing it friends
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the serirei brain rot continues
#serirei#reigen arataka#serizawa katsuya#serizawa/reigen#cw suggestive#cw mature#mp100#mob psycho 100#mob psycho fanart#im losing it friends#my stuff#artists on tumblr
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I didn’t know where to go so I came Home but my landlady died last year and no one’s taking care of the garden and I’m not allowed inside and Arlo is with me and he recognizes it and he wants to go inside but we can’t we can’t we can’t
#I can’t stop screaming and wailing I lost every single thing I ever worked for#I don’t even have any clothes#besides Tyrell’s ugly hand me downs that don’t fit#my yard is dead and over grown#we can’t go inside we can’t go inside we can’t go inside#Im losing it friends#it’s all just gone#it was all for nothing?
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#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point#the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous#like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but#i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it#its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you#god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt#fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs#im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go#ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way.#anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen
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“stan had it worse” “ford had it worse” stan got pushed deeper and deeper into rock bottom until he had to start digging and ford got pushed higher and higher towards the stars until he became an icarus. they are two ends of the same rope, tied to form a circle connected by the knot of a living hell
#does this make sense. i think im losing it#i’ve never even watched smiling friends but just insert that ‘STOP FIGHTIIIING !!’ clip#that’s me. that’s me rn#twoa.txt#gravity falls#stan gravity falls#stanley gravity falls#stan pines#stanley pines#ford gravity falls#stanford gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines
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tf one orion scribbles,,,, hes just a little guy,,,,,
#my art#op in the new trailer;;hes such a menace i love him so bad im going to cry like just think about it he goes from that to becoming#stoic somber optimus prime with the weight of the universe on his back and the guilt of losing his best friend not to death or distance but#from each of them making just a few choices that butterfly out and slowly pull them apart and theres nothing they can do im so so normal#tf one#orion pax#d 16#optimus prime#megatron
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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lost child
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#i forgot to record the speedpaint :(#whatever im kinda proud if this one#anyone else thinks ab young siffrin right after the island dissappeared arriving in vaugarde with no knowledge of the language#of himself#or of how he ended up there#ever think about how scared and confused they mustve been#how it probably took them years to be able to communicate smoothly and be able to move freely#about how with the island not only did they lose their home and family and friends but also themselves#their personality#their language#EVERYTHING.#god siffrin u make me so sick i cant do this
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Its almost time for something new..!
#the legend of zelda#echoes of wisdom#breath of the wild#tears of the kingdom#loz#loz eow#loz botw#loz totk#link#zelda#josh art tag#cloak buddies!!#i know the loz timeline makes no sense but im curious to see if this one is meant to be post totk#cuz theres like zonai lookin stuff in the trailer??#id be fun if these 2 were predecessor and successor#plus totk!link losing zelda and eow!zelda losing link...#i want them to be friends#older brother totk!link anyone??
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"Xiao does things" (and friends) twitter log part 2
-- UPDATE: removed some of the arts to make its own individual post since I am bad at organizing, sorry! (but the last one is new lol) xD
#the last part and im so close to finishing up posting everything on twitter!! sorry for not answering the asks as of late though#been busy as usual#hard to believe i drew this much silly xiaos over a year#i think he deserves a little more fun with other ppl he trust either friends or strangers#not just solace and peace#qiiarts#xiao#lumine#traveler#paimon#zhongli#ganyu#fischl#kaveh#MEHRAK#oz#THE LAST TWO GETS ME LOSING IT its based on a design dynamic meme back in twt and i love the sheer energy the op portrayed them#draw ur wacko pairs like this#i couldve made the music xiao-lumine-venti-kazuha art and the pant jakt one a separate post but i got lazy BUT#ill try to post the separate one anyways so there Will be two of them (or ill delete them from the this log)#great organizing
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My September
#original by vivinos!#but i did . stray away from the plot mb#anyways dazai after losing another friend who lives by ideals 🤣🤣 crazy amirite#if i had a nickel#sorry im going crazy pumping out these animatic shits im tired#bsd#bungou stray dogs#kunikida doppo#kunikida#kunikidazai#bungou stray dogs kunikida#dazai osamu#kunikida x dazai#bungou stray dogs dazai
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In case I wasn't clear.
#probably gonna lose some followers from this but idc#im gonna stop myself from writing an essay but it's getting increasingly alarming how normalized using c.ai in fandom spaces is becoming#roleplay with your friends like nature intended homies.#like um. stop it. why is ai art bad and shunned (rightfully so) but using c.ai okay. why is using ai meme voices ok. stop it.#clay posts#c.ai#anti ai#fandom
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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i went. insane. LOOK. i know a lot of people realllyyyy wanted crowley to be the wedding dress designer LOOK I KNOW AND ITS OK u can make ur own au i promise but in MY WORLD. you need to understand me.
crowley owning a vineyard is personal to me. he is THE snake in the garden of eden, tempting is his JOB ok. he makes wines aziraphale indulges in, aziraphale designs dresses with crowley in mind. do you hear me. are you listening to me. i have everything from the second they meet mapped out OK i know what im talking about. listen to my delusions, boy.
#ive been losing my mind ive seen this movie so many times this week#how my friends arent sick of hearing me talk abt this is a miracle in and of itself#good omens#good omens 2#aziracrow#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable divorce#warlock dowling#go adam young#ineffable husbands#parent trap au#good omens au#gabuart#I WAS ONLY PLANNING TO DRAW THIS ONCE AND NEVER TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN.#i have more where theyre young but ill post them tomorrow#i mean im posting them all on instagram tonight so u can see them there if u want
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i think it's hilarious that no matter how important the situation is. annabeth will stop everything to greet an animal. stuck in the underworld and trying to save your friend's mom's soul while simultaneously trying to prevent a war between the gods? pet the three-headed guard dog. trapped in the deepest pit of hell and on the brink of death while trying to prevent the rise of a goddess determined to harm everyone and everything you care about? cuddle the half-dead cat. trying to help your boyfriend get his second college recommendation letter so the two of you can begin living the safe and happy life you had always wanted together? adopt and share custody of a hellhound with a goddess.
#nothing is stop this girl from petting animal#and this is why we love you#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#annabeth chase#annabeth is a legend#annabeth is incredible#annabeth is amazing#“oh no i'm trapped in the underworld but i have 30-foot three-headed canine and a tennis ball so it's fine”#“oh no i'm trapped in hell with my boyfriend and we're both on the brink of the death and—oh look a kitten 😙”#“oh no a goddess might murder me and my friends for losing her pets and my boyfriend's future is on the line but im an adopted mom of one🥰”
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i am not immune to transmascs in sweatpants and a sleeveless top
im rly fucking weak about it actually
#losing my mind rn#i still can't get over it#💀 i told him aksksksk the prog won buddy my boy my guy i can Not think straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i look at someone's upper back a little too long then i can't get them out of my head for 2 days is this how it is??!#(。ノω\。) i haven't seen him in a while im not used to how hot he actually is#which is funny bc i distinctly know what he looks like but u ever just see someone irl and you're like AAAAA THEY'RE HOT#⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ ��� hey ..#my friend how close ur sitting makes my heart feel like it's going to explode but I'm trying to be so cool about it#but also not really 🫠#not anymore!! 😭 i need to let u know
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For those who missed it, here’s Phil slam-dunking Quackity’s face into his birthday cake LMFAO, I love their friendship dynamic
#Quackity#Philza#TinaKitten#Phil#IRL#Tina looks so HORRIFIED I'm losing it#also don't cause any drama over this Phil and Q are friends Phil didn't do this to be mean or anything#and quite frankly it looks like Quackity was prepared for it#The way Phil literally rubbed his face in it Im LOSING it#this was so frickin funny I was dying#Happy Birthday Quackity!#The Mariachi band playing that after he got dunked was SO funny#the way the hat fell perfectly on the cake was too funny#Tina
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