#im lonely bc im always lonely

[victory-cookies]

I! Fucking! Hate! Uni!

[inkskinned]

one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.

the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.

like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.

but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.

so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.

i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?

but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?

sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?

and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.

nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.

the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!

and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.

[ganondoodle]

sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/

[wintergrofyuri]

ok hi im back again. can we talk about the hero harem. i wanna talk about the hero harem.

so. what do i mean by this. well, think of a dating sim. now stop thinking about a dating sim bc its not anything like the hero harem. the hero harem is an all you can eat buffet. a basket of bread at a restaurant. chips and dip.

the hero harem is a game of hungry hungry hippos.

see, we can all agree that hero is like. the de facto leader. he's kind and empathetic. a nice guy. easy to get along with. but most importantly: he's the voice you start with. the one you always have. the closest to the long quiet. the closest to the shifting mound as well. this means something probably. but most importantly, it means something to the other voices. they're disjointed and argumentative and the only thing keeping them together is sharing a body.

now, what happens when you give them their own bodies? chaos. absolute fucking chaos. probably some attempted murder as well. but hero wldnt let that happen. he's the glue holding them together. their rock.

what im getting at is, they're all codependant as fuck. clinginess varies but its present in all of them. always an arm around his shoulders or hand on his arm or. just hands everywhere. they're all very touchy in my mind. physical sensation is very novel to them and they want to get everything out of it they can. preferably with their hero.

you may be wondering. do they fight? do they tug at him like a barbie doll? growl and tug like dogs with a rope? maybe a little. in subtle ways. but its more like a class pet type situationship. he is theirs collectively. they pass him around like a bottle of bud lite is what im saying. like "its been one of those days. pass the hero" ykno. they all have their grubby little claws on him. and if we're adding the vessels? oh my god its like a fucking joint at a party. they are all in that shit. like cheeto dust on ur fingers. but like. its feather dust.

anyways, hero is a little silly guy who loves affection he's soaking this shit up dont worry about him. they feed him, they walk him. he gets plenty of sunlight ykno. its fine. hes fine.

[mcytegg]

btw mapicc's everything today reminded me so violently of s4 ro and s4 dualities in general but if i think abt it too hard i will Actually Cry as i always do when it comes to dualities so im just gonna joke abt mawn and ignore it for my own sake ^-^

[what-even-is-sleep]

thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such

[dan-whoell]

i keep thinking about a phandom book club, but i have no idea how to go about organizing it or if anyone would be interested or even where to host it

alternatively is there already a phandom book club i could join? because i would love that

[c1trvswurld]

Wish I knew irl older transmasc bc im so nervous about medically transitioning. Bc yeah, on a technical level I *could* live like this for the rest of my life. Do I still fantasize and only imagine a future where I'm a man like 24/7 and I physically cannot imagine me as a woman? Yeah sure! But that doesn't mean I'm trans. And plus if I say fuck it and take hrt for too long it will have irreversible effects. So if I do turn out to be cis I might have very bad dysphoria from it.

But the very idea of being in a more masculine body is so comforting to me, to hear my voice drop, and to get hairier is such a fun idea.

But it also feels so bad/guilty when I like to wear bodycon dresses, and like my curvy figure, and like my tit's and sometimes like she/her used on me. So therefor I can't be trans right?

[emoqueer44]

Okay but fr Lonely Is The Muse is one of her best songs, at least lyrically. There's so much meaning and IT'S JUST SO FUCKIN GOOD AAAAHHHHH

[roachallurgy]

I feel like since no one even knows what happens to me it might as well not be real, really,, and maybe thats part of the strategy of it. u cant worry or care about what you dont know so why wuld anyone care abt a stupid lil boygirl bug whos already died once bein tortured so much, yk like if icant be remembered then no on will even think to look 4 me here. asmuch as i am different i rlydont wanna be forgotten here..

[jojo-the-puppy]

i think im officially done trying to keep in touch with people who dont try ever

[felicitywilds]

also slowly turning around in my brain how rose said she was going to stay with the doctor forever, and then later donna says the same thing (to martha!! the doctor doesnt even hear or know!!! it would make him so happy but hurt him so much if he did!!!!!!), and then when she tells the doctor shes going home in sontaran stratagem he immediately assumes it means shes leaving him for good and accepts it but also launches into all the things he still wanted to show her.

and i know its played for a joke like haha silly martian thats not what i meant! but this is the same man who, when he needed to turn human, loved someone SO DEEP AND HARD that he didnt think he'd ever fall in love again. ever. even with his memory erased. so when you take that moment of "oh you're just popping home for a visit" and like ACTUALLY look at it you're like. this man gets so so so attached to people, and is so incredibly scarred by losing these people he loves that he has no choice but to let them go when they want to leave on good terms, because he knows how bad it could get for them if they stay, no matter how much he wants them to stay.

anyway donna's forever and rose's forever are just different flavors of the same "i need you as much as you need me, so im in it for the long haul, bad stuff included" and its chefs kiss

[faaun]

pls i need to provide updates

[volivolition]

YAY thanks for voting everyone!! purple was the top guess, followed by red!! im glad my voli/echem/empathy/shivers reputation precedes me!! (/genuine) :D <33

to the one person who voted orange, CONGRATS YOU DID IT HDKJG!! (truthfully, my blog, aesthetics and sona are all purple because i based this account off of volition :] i've grown to love purple (and red!) a lot by association, but my absolute favorite has always been orange :3!! <33)

[actual-corpse]

きみとそらをとぶ　/ feat. 初音ミク & 巡音ルカ

Y'all... why does this give me intense nostalgia for a time I know I can never get back to?

Like... That's THE Pokémon song! The one you hear at the end of your journey. The one that makes you wanna go back to your mom and show her your Pokémon badges.

I really do love Pokémon lol. I love the games even though I hate battling. I'm actually in the process of trying to complete my Pokedex in Let's Go! Eevee, before I build my dream team for the Elite Four. I love my Eevee, I named her after my cat (as you do).

Idk... I'm tired, and in pain, and in my feelings about this song.

[introspectivememories]

everyday i wake up and i think about carlos reyes anc his relationship with his sexuality and his parents. what do you mean he came out to them when he was 17 and he's still waiting for them to say something? what do you mean he's still waiting?? what do you mean his father didn't want him to be a cop because he thought carlos was too soft? what do you mean he came out at 17, scared and nervous, and they smiled and told him it was okay only to turn around and spend the next, what, decade?, never talking about it?????