#im literally shaking im so fucking angry wtf

[grubbygrrrl]

Haverford College political science professor Barak Mendelsohn on twitter, just days after a horrific hate crime on Haverford student Kinnan Abdalhamid, where he and two friends, Hisham Awartini and Tahseen Ali Ahmed, were shot for the act of being Palestinian. Mendelsohn then insulted and ridiculed a student asking for an open dialogue. Shame.

[teyamloak]

Angry… part 1

↳ neteyam x fem! human reader x lo’ak

✩ warnings: neteyam is 18 lo’ak is 17, y/n is 17, fighting, cursing, and jealous.

✩ synopsis: neteyam has always had some hatred toward you. lo’ak and you are best friends, nothing can separate you too. On this particular day, you were sunbathing when Aonung and his friends started to pick on you, they quickly stop once neteyam comes and helps you....

✩ note: hi everyone, this will be my first time writing. it will probably be bad so sorry.

when I was younger I was always alone. I’m a human, that has to be the loneliest race ever. I was born in pandora with another baby named spider, I never really liked him though. when I met lo’ak I finally realized what it meant to have a meaning. I didn’t have parents I didn’t even have a family. Jake was always nice to me but I knew deep down he didn’t want me around. I reminded him of himself when he was human, it was sad really. Don’t get me started on Neytiri, she hated me and she showed it. she never liked me, said I should be with my own people, says I will cause trouble for her sons. she says this while knowing that…

lo’ak is my meaning. my best friend. my reason,

we had just moved to a new village it was pretty, the people were so different it scared me lowkey. since day one of getting here, I was getting bullied, and today was no exception.

Aonung and his friends had found me sunbathing.

“what are you doing over here, freakkkkk.” he stretches out the k in freak.

“where is your lil boyfriend is he off with some other girl??”

“leave me alone aonung, and he isn’t my boyfriend he’s my best friend something that you don’t have.” his friends start to instigate the conversation “ohhhhh” “you going to let her talk to you like that”

“stfu y’all are literally my friend, idiot.” with that, aonung started to walk closer his friends quickly following right behind him. “listen her y/n if you’re lil boyfriend doesn’t want you anymore you can always come be with me, god knows how much i want you to be a slut for me.” the smirk so clearly on his face while saying that. my whole body shakes of disgust for some reason i felt dirty even though i clearly did nothing wrong.

i can see from the corner of my eye aonung’s hand start to go up, about to be reaching for my hand but stopped when he heard “aonung you know you don’t want to do that.”

“you know exactly what will happen once you do” i with everybody else was shocked to see neteyam.

neteyam has hated me since birth lo’ak says it’s because he doesn’t see “good” in me. but i think it’s because he’s jealous of me for taking up lo’ak’s time.

aonung was the most surprise, he knew that neteyam didn’t like me.

“wtf are you doing here neteyam this isn’t your bitch.” “who is he calling a bitch” i say in my brain.

“watch your mouth, aonung you know exactly what this is and how much she means to my brother.”

“i don’t like her but my brother does so i have to protect her whether i like it, or not.” neteyam makes sure to say this louder then anything he has said previously.

“y/n stop looking stupid and come over here or do you want to stay with these idiots?.” quickly i moved my small feet towards him god knows i didn’t want to be anywhere near aonung.

neteyam and i we’re starting to walk away when aonung yells out

“her pussy must be so good if she has the sully brothers so pussywiped” “maybe after you’re done you can let me fuck her” with that neteyam was off before i can turn around i see ao’nung on the floor with his hand on his check, bleeding.

“never talk about her in that manner again she not yours, she’s ours” who tf is “ours” who was he referring to? god im so confused….

neteyam is dragging me towards another land. when i say dragging i mean he was literally dragging me.

we had finally stopped after what felt like an hour of him dragging me. he dropped his hand from the arm he was dragging and turns around, making eye contact with me and says “you can not leave my watch anymore, who knows what ao’nung would have done if he was alone with you”

“he likes you y/n, did you know that?”

“why would i care he means nothing to me” “plus the only man i’ve ever cared about is lo’ak” the eyes that were once yellow and concerned were now dark yellow and filled with what seemed to be jealousy.

“why must he be the only guy you see”

“what are you talking about”

“why can’t you say something nice to me, why can’t you say “thank you for helping me neteyam” instead the first thing you have to bring up is lo’ak newsflash he wasn’t there, i was, can i be that hard to pay attention to ”

“wtf are you talking about??? you have been mean to me since i was born you’ve never tried to talk to me, shit this is the first conversation we have had since i was a baby.”

“don’t you ever wonder why” “no not really i don’t really care about it”

“god it’s because i see you, i see you y/n”

“once i saw ao’nung about to touch you i knew that i felt something for you”

“The reason why I haven’t been nice to you or talked to you is because of lo’ak.” “he has told me that he was yours” “his" "yes his"

"he has told me that you were his future mate and it made sense all of those years, I believed him, but now I know you aren't his mate, you are just strangely attached to him like a lost puppy" "lo’ak has told you that I am his?" “lo'ak is nothing more than a friend"

just as I was about to say more neteyam come closer to me, and now I can’t hear anything but my heartbeat at this moment I felt “good” not dirty like before.

neteyam was quick to grab my hand, and for some reason I let him. this is the first time neteyam has ever touched me. this is the first time my heart has ever started going crazy.

as if the planet knew what was about to happen lo’ak popped up.

“y/n I’ve been looking for you everywhere I heard what happened- he stops as he sees neteyam’s and my hand together.

“neteyam what are you doing here?” “I was just leaving,” he says simply and starts to walk away. but for some reason I didn’t let go of his hand I grabbed it tighter. lo’ak took notice of my action.

neteyam turns his head towards me and tilts his head an action that I’ve noticed his whole family does. he looks at me then his eyes start to go down my whole body and stop when our hand comes into view.

he doesn’t even have to say to let go off his hand, his face so clearly says it for himself. he looks mad, very mad. what did I do? I didn’t do anything wrong, why was he so mad at me even after he told me his feelings for me?

quickly I let go of the hand that I was once holding. I missed it so much, in so little time that i had felt it, I missed the warmth of his big hand on my small hand, I miss the feeling of being “good” even though he so clearly didn’t want to have anything to do with me at this moment, what had just happen?

neteyam walks away nodding his head towards his brother without saying a word to him, but for some reason, lo’ak knows exactly what he is saying. As quickly as he comes he was gone..never in my life have I wished for him to return but today it was different, why?

should i make a part 2??

[deathsmallcaps]

(USA based sorry)

I’m definitely speaking into an echo chamber but like.

Nearly every algebra student I tutor ends up with a word problem involving the gender wage gap. And they’re all confounded by it and have no clue.

And a guy in my fucking Calc 3 class was like “wait you guys were serious? That’s real?” When it came up. BRO YOU’RE ABOUT OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK???

It’s amazing what is and isn’t common knowledge. Feminist history isn’t taught past “and then women got their right to vote :)))))).” With occasional mentions of Title IX and the late 1900s waves of feminism. Of course only in in-depth history classes, not general Ed. Wow.

I am not in training to be a historian or a history teacher, but by all that is right in the world I hope it becomes more normalized and common to speak about shit that is LESS than 100 years ago in depth when it comes to American History & culture. Wtf. I swear even when I took AP history* the professor was afraid to touch on that stuff. For some reason (happily) my English teachers were a lot more willing to teach about modern history & minority stories.

And this is just what affects my white anglo cishetallo abled-passing housed female life personally. I cannot truly imagine the feeling of personal erasure & irritation one of comes to other identities & issues that have only relatively recently been resolved, addressed, acknowledged or even only pointedly ignored. I am fucking angry FOR you and can’t wait for things to change. You ALL deserve better. Don’t forget that.

It’s not your job to educate these people or their children (unless you’re literally a history teacher or something) but I want to shake the people who decide these what gets taught until the cowardice & insecurity & thoughtlessness & malice & election-based anxiety shits out of their assholes and leaves their hearts hungering for intelligent, thoughtful & interested discussions on modern issues and genuine history that should not be squeezed into the last pages of textbooks out of fear of offending paper white & paper thin pride.

Human rights deserve attention. Human rights should not have to be a radical talking point. It should be both as natural and expected as breathing clean air & as ingrained and knowable as to be accessible in math problems.

There is so much to be done. And it is exhausting. But please know that you are not alone.

*interesting tidbit below but basically irrelevant to the above post

I took AP america history to learn about the parts of American history that are never, or barely, covered in history classes throughout the grades. Basically, if it happened outside of the Puritans-WWII, it’s got a poor chance chance of in-depth coverage. And while the class did teach me good analysis skills and some interesting facts, it mostly covered the exact fucking periods I mentioned above.

And you know what? Literally right before we took the AP test, our teacher told us “study up on periods 2-7” (im pretty sure there are 9 periods of American history, forgive me it’s been like 5 years) “they never test on 1, 8 or 9”. Guess what the essay questions were on. And guess what time periods 1,8 & 9 are? If you posited precolonial america, the mid 1900s and modern day, ding ding ding you’re the winner! :))))))

(AP classes are worth it if you’re bored and/or trying to cut down on the amount of classes you’ll take in college & thus save money. But a lot (not all) of the AP certified teachers will try to convince you it’s the be all, end all of learning in high school. Also the weighted GPAs are a scam. No one looks at those. If you’re worried about keeping a good average, stick to the class level that fits within both circles of ‘not boring’ and ‘not going to wreck your life’. You can take an AP test and have it count and not take the class. Just be warned it is genuinely difficult.)

[ittybxttykxttytxtty]

my cat just died...so if my comment is lacking its usual humor or its too angsty, i apologize in advance

“I came here to talk,” he replied, an edge to his tone. “Because you certainly weren’t answering your phone. I’ve been trying to call you for weeks.”

On a scale of 1 to matthew how disconnected are you from reality? 🤔 because damn, matt.

Good, you hoped the bite in your words hurt. He deserved it after how he’d hurt you.

OHHHHH ITS STARTING, LADIES AND GENTS. IT'S FUCKING STARTING

“I wasn’t the one who ended things,” he replied, his voice rough and low. “ You did that. I came here to apologize for how I’d treated you that night and for all those times I’d broken promises to you. That’s why I’m here.”

THE WAY HE SAID IT. LIKE SHE SHOULD BE FUCKING THANKFUL THAT HE GAVE HER HIS TIME OF DAY. SIR. SIR. WTF.

“You abandoned me–abandoned us . That is on you.”

"Why did you never say anything?" he asked softly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

....nothingness... there's literally nothing going on inside that head of his. falling and slamming down garbage bins really did a number to his brain huh.

Matt visibly shrunk back, wincing at your words. His gloved hands nervously fidgeted with the mask he held between them both as you saw his throat bob with a hard swallow.

as much as i dont like him rn...ngl

"You can't fix this, Matt," you told him, waving a hand between the pair of you. "You walked out on me–on us. You'd been breaking promise after promise to me for weeks. I don't trust you anymore, don't you get that?"

shit, this hurts oh no oh fuck fuck FUCK 🫠 i was prepared for this i swear! but jfc this hurts 🫠

"Of course you can trust me. I love you. I'd never hurt you. Either of you."

ngl, first time i read this sentence my head just started shaking no instinctively

"I don't trust that you'll be there for me when I need you. I don't trust that anything else could ever mean more to you than this city, Matt. We would only ever come second, and that's not enough."

"That's not true," he said softly, the words breaking. "That could never be true."

THEN 👏🏼 WHY 👏🏼 DOES 👏🏼 IT 👏🏼 FEEL 👏🏼 LIKE👏🏼 IT 👏🏼 IS?!?!?!

As angry as you'd been at him and as much as you'd wanted to hurt him for weeks now, actually seeing him so emotionally distraught didn't make you feel any better.

it hurts but he needs a slap from reality....from foggy...from karen....from the reader, heck, even from lil baby devil 😭

His face tightened further, a choked sob falling out of him.

as he should 😤 please let him redeem himself greatly him crying makes me feel ill

"No, don't say that. You won't do this alone. I want to be here for you. I want to be a part of this. To do this together ."

then you know what to do, bub 🥺

“I can’t depend on you. And if I can’t depend on you–if I can’t trust that you’ll be there when we need you–then I don’t want that. Because you’ll only cause more pain.”

the ball's in your court now, matt. do the right thing, im begging you 😭😩

There was no pleasure to be gained in watching how broken he looked right now, bent in half on his knees before you with tears streaming down his face, but you knew this was what you needed to do.

this is true...i thought i was gonna power through this and still be mad at him but now im just sad...sad and mad...smad

"Sweetheart, don’t,” he choked out. “Please.”

too emotional for memes, ill be putting lyrics that i thought of when i read it here instead

And maybe we got lost in translation

Maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up

"Don’t say that,” he begged. “Please don’t say that. I’ll fix this! I promise I’ll fix it!”

I should've watched those eyes

Instead of run in place

I should've called you out

I should've said your name

I should've turned around

I should've looked again

"Please leave, Matt,” you whispered.

I'm not your problem anymore

So who am I offending now?

You were my crown

Now I'm in exile, seein' you out

You were pregnant. That’s what you’d been wanting to tell him that night. And like the fucking piece of shit he was–self-sabotaging as Foggy always told him–he’d yelled at you. Pushed you away. Abandoned you. And all you’d wanted was him. For him to be there for you.

ahhh and here we are,my good lads....he finally understands. FINALLY, YOU FREAKING SAD DEFLATED SOUFFLÉ 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Because you were right. His actions hadn’t shown that you were his priority.

Vindicated, I am selfish, I am wrong

I am right, I swear I'm right

Swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed

But I am cleaning up so well

I am seeing in me now

The things you swore you saw yourself

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG LOGIC HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING....BUT THE QUESTIONS IS....WILL IT STAY??

He could hear the Devil’s voice telling him that he did this to himself.

uhm rude. first of all, i have a name. its not the Devil wtf matthew

So that’s what he would do. He’d find a way to fix things. To prove how wrong you were about him not wanting to be a father and about him not loving you more than Hell’s Kitchen. To find a way to get you to trust him again, feel capable of depending on him.

affsgshwwgaga I CANNOT WAIT. BLESSED BE THE GODS OF LOGIC AND FOGGY NELSON. 😩😩😩😩

You and that baby were his.

prove yourself first, red.

After thots:

- im surprised matt only pissed me off half of the chapter. thats a new record

- im glad she didnt beat around the bush and just straight out told him that her trust needs to be earned back, both for her and the babyyy 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

- matt's road to redemption is gonna be nasty and messy, i just know it

all in all, thank god i slept first before reading this. this chapter hurt but it hurt so gooood. cannot wait for the next one ✨ writing this chapter is some queen behavior shit 😌👑

Seeking Forgiveness [Part Five]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3.7k

[Full summary and installment list for this series can be found here.]

Warnings/tags: 18+ contains angst, emotional hurt, delayed comfort, pregnant Reader

a/n: The part you've probably all been waiting for is finally here and I'm dying to see reactions to this one! Also, I have no idea why tags aren't working for a couple of you, I tried a few times to get them to work but I blame tumblr, I'm sorry! As always, Feedback is always appreciated!

Lying in bed with your sheets pulled up to your chin, it felt like the entire room around you was spinning. Even with your eyes clamped tightly shut, you could feel that uncomfortable churning in your stomach, that dizzying sensation making it feel like your bed was rocking back and forth on the ocean. You’d been lying there for at least a half an hour now, practically begging the higher powers above to give you just one night where you could fall straight to sleep without feeling like you were going to be sick.

Your morning sickness had only gotten worse now that you were entering the ninth week. And you absolutely hated the deceiving term of 'morning sickness' considering the fact that you’d thrown up a handful of times over the past few days now, and most of those times were not in the morning. It affected you on and off throughout the day, and almost always hitting you as you were relaxing and trying to fall asleep.

That telltale feeling quickly began to creep back up on you, your saliva pooling in your mouth. You winced, groaning and burying your face into your pillow as you swallowed, hoping to stop what was about to come. But the saliva only pooled more along your tongue as you felt your stomach give an uncomfortable lurch. The contents within it abruptly surged their way upwards with barely any warning.

Kicking your sheets off of yourself, you tossed your legs over the side of your bed. You threw a hand over your mouth as you hurried out of the bedroom, racing across the hall to your bathroom. You’d barely managed to flip the light on before dropping down to your knees in front of your toilet. Lifting the seat up and lowering your face above the bowl, you began to violently empty your stomach. 

By the time you’d finished retching, you pathetically slumped on the floor before the toilet, running a hand across your sweat-dampened forehead. Groaning miserably, your eyes closed as you cringed at the disgusting taste in your mouth. Though thankfully the longer you sat on the cool tile of your bathroom floor, the more your nausea and dizziness began to subside. 

“This is such bullshit,” you moaned to yourself. “Why does every part of this have to be so awful?”

It was a few minutes that you sat hunched on the floor in front of the toilet before you finally felt like you weren’t going to be sick again. Gradually you pushed yourself up from the bathroom floor, making your way over to your sink. Picking up your toothbrush from its holder, you got it wet and covered it in toothpaste before you began to vigorously brush the disgusting taste from your mouth. At least now that you’d gotten sick and gotten that out of your system, you could hopefully get comfortable in bed and fall asleep this time. That’s how things had gone the last few nights at least; the nausea seemed to disappear once you finally got sick.

Finished brushing your teeth, you rinsed off your toothbrush and put it away. After, you turned off the faucet and dried your face and hands on the nearby towel. Exhausted, you stepped out of the bathroom, flipping off the light as you went, but you’d barely reached your bedroom before you froze at the sound of your name being spoken through the silence of your apartment.

Fear shot through you immediately, the hair bristling on the back of your neck as you spun on your heel. A soft, surprised gasp slipped out of your lips when you spotted Daredevil standing just at the edge of your hallway, the faint light trickling past the curtain-covered windows in your living room casting dark shadows across his masked face.

You stood there in shock for a moment, trying to comprehend the fact that Matt was even here in your apartment. He’d called you again just earlier today, but you’d once again refused to answer your phone for him. And now here he was, just letting himself into your apartment like he always used to do. As if he was still welcome here. The thought of that had your anger soon reigniting within you, your hands curling into fists at your sides. You saw the way Matt stiffened in response, clearly picking up on the sudden shift in your mood.

“So you think you can just break into my apartment now, do you?” you hissed. “After everything?”

“I came here to talk,” he replied, an edge to his tone. “Because you certainly weren’t answering your phone. I’ve been trying to call you for weeks.”

A bitter laugh fell out of you, your arms coming to cross over your chest in agitation. You ignored the way your breasts ached at the gesture, too angry to care about that.

“Maybe I didn’t want to talk to you after the way you ended things,” you shot back. “Maybe that’s why I wasn’t answering your calls, Matthew .”

The corner of his lip curled back at your words and the way you’d shot his full name out at him, as if it had physically hurt him as he winced in pain. Good, you hoped the bite in your words hurt. He deserved it after how he’d hurt you.

He opened his mouth to respond, but you saw him close it again almost immediately. His head canted to the side, the gesture which you knew meant he’d picked up on something with his senses. A different kind of fear rippled through you next, wondering just what he’d noticed.

“Are you sick?” he asked, his tone softening.

You scoffed at the question, shaking your head. So he’d noticed you’d been throwing up. You hoped the smell of your sick lingering in the air would send him away. This wasn’t a conversation you wanted to have right now; all you wanted to do was go to sleep. You were exhausted from your work week on top of everything else, you didn’t need a vigilante ex-boyfriend breaking and entering on a Thursday night just to fight with you.

“No, I’m not sick,” you snapped. “Not that you’d care anyway.”

“Of course I’d care,” he immediately disagreed.

“Sure as shit didn’t care when you ended things,” you spat back. “Couldn’t care enough to give me a single evening of your time. So don't tell me you suddenly care now, Matthew .”

Matt’s body went rigid, something dark crossing his masked features. A bit of the Devil was peeking through right now, you could see that. Because you’d touched a nerve of some sort.

“I wasn’t the one who ended things,” he replied, his voice rough and low. “ You did that. I came here to apologize for how I’d treated you that night and for all those times I’d broken promises to you. That’s why I’m here.”

Your brows shot up onto your forehead in shock, your mouth falling open. He thought you had ended things? With everything he’d been doing, all the promises he’d broken and the way he’d slammed that door on his way out that night–he had the audacity to claim you broke up with him ? Your fury only coiled tighter as you glared back at Matt, shoulders squaring as you held your ground, desperate to unleash the pain you’d been holding back for weeks.

“ I didn’t end the relationship, Matt,” you retorted, tears brimming in your eyes. “That was entirely on you when you chose to walk out that goddamn door and put Hell’s Kitchen over me. Like you did night after fucking night. For weeks . Because that’s all you fucking care about, isn’t it? This goddamn city. When it comes right down to it, you’d choose this city over me. That’s what you proved to me, Matthew."

Inhaling a sharp breath as you saw his lips thin out along his face at your accusation, you realized you couldn’t stop the words that were about to come flying out of you. Because for weeks now you'd wanted to hurl them at him like knives, hoping they’d hit their mark and wound him.

“You did this, Matthew,” you growled, pointing a firm, accusatory finger at his chest as that rage and pain finally loosed itself on your tongue. “You abandoned me–abandoned us . That is on you.”

“I didn’t abandon–” he began, stopping almost instantly.

His head yet again canted to the side and you swore you could almost hear his thoughts suddenly racing. 

“What?” he asked sharply. “ Us ?”

There was a pause that followed his question, Matt’s entire body frozen on the spot–until his head abruptly shifted. You watched as his head tilted a few different times in confusion, his lips twisting beneath the hard line of his mask. And then the red lenses of his mask finally found their focus–fixed on your abdomen. His mouth fell open in shock as he stood there speechless, the tension quickly leaving his body as if he'd lost all of his fight in that instant.

"You're–you're pregnant?" he breathed out.

"Yes, I am," you answered.

As he continued to openly gawk, your arms lowered, wrapping protectively over your stomach. Matt took a cautious, hesitant step towards you, his gloved hand reaching out. Though he promptly stopped himself in his tracks, his hand frozen and left hovering between the pair of you.

"Why did you never say anything?" he asked softly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

A humorless bark of laughter flew out of you at that. What a ridiculous question to ask. As if you hadn't made an attempt to tell him.

"I tried to tell you," you said bitterly. "That night I practically begged you to stay with me, Matt. The night you walked out that door and chose Hell’s Kitchen instead. After that, I hadn't been able to bring myself to talk to you. Couldn’t look at you and tell you."

His hand that had been hovering in the space between you both continued its way up, pulling the mask from his head and revealing his stunned expression and mussed hair. There wasn't an ounce of anger anywhere on his features in the dark, his sightless eyes still fixed on your abdomen. Most likely tuned into the small, fast heartbeat there. 

"I–I didn't know," he choked out, shaking his head. "I am… so sorry, sweetheart."

"Don't," you warned him, eyes narrowing. "Don't call me that, Matt. I'm not your sweetheart ," you bit out. "I'm not any of that to you anymore."

Matt visibly shrunk back, wincing at your words. His gloved hands nervously fidgeted with the mask he held between them both as you saw his throat bob with a hard swallow. 

"I'm sorry," he breathed out, his face contorting with emotion. "I'm so sorry. I was–was such an asshole. You didn't deserve that. Any of it."

"No, I didn't," you agreed. "You turned into a different person, Matt. One I didn't recognize. But maybe that’s who you really are."

"I thought you were trying to give me an ultimatum," he confessed, his voice tight with emotion. "That night. That's what I thought. That you were going to tell me I had to pick you or Daredevil and I–I was hurt and angry. Because I thought you knew I couldn't give that part of myself up completely. I thought you’d accepted that side of me."

"I would never have done that," you told him. "You certainly need to learn how to compromise and how to figure out what is truly a priority, Matt, but I would never have forced you to choose one or the other. Because I loved you for all of you. I'd always told you that."

"I know, you're right," he said, nodding quickly as he took another step closer. "I never meant to hurt you, I swear. I fucked up, I know I did. And I'm sorry. So incredibly sorry. You deserve better and I want to make it up to you. To fix things."

You shook your head, taking a step back from Matt. His face fell instantly at the physical distance, his eyes pinching tight.

"You can't fix this, Matt," you told him, waving a hand between the pair of you. "You walked out on me–on us. You'd been breaking promise after promise to me for weeks. I don't trust you anymore, don't you get that?"

"What do you mean?" he whispered, his face twisting in pained confusion. "Of course you can trust me. I love you. I'd never hurt you. Either of you."

You grimaced at the way he said he loved you, your heart constricting in your chest. What you wouldn't give for the situation to be different, to be able to have those words not feel like shards of glass tearing you open as they came out of his mouth.

"I don't trust that you'll do what you say," you countered. "I don't trust that you'll be there for me when I need you. I don't trust that anything else could ever mean more to you than this city, Matt. We would only ever come second, and that's not enough."

In the dim light coming from your living room windows behind Matt, you could see the glisten of tears in his eyes. His face further scrunched up as he tried to fight back his tears, roughly shaking his head at you. 

"That's not true," he said softly, the words breaking. "That could never be true." 

He sniffled loudly, the sound shattering your heart even further. As angry as you'd been at him and as much as you'd wanted to hurt him for weeks now, actually seeing him so emotionally distraught didn't make you feel any better. If anything you just felt worse about this entire disappointing situation. His actions had only left you both broken and lonely.

"I'd never pick anything before you or my own child," he assured you. " Never ."

A few tears slipped down your cheeks, the warmth of them a noticeable contrast to the cool air of your apartment. Your arms hugged your abdomen tighter as your lips trembled.

"I don't believe you, Matt," you whispered. 

His face tightened further, a choked sob falling out of him. You grimaced at the sight, your own tears starting to fall faster. It felt like your heart was breaking all over again right now having this conversation. Having to tell him the things you knew you needed to. 

"I would never keep you from your child, Matt," you began slowly, trying to keep your voice steady, "but I'll be the one raising this baby. Alone."

"No," he disagreed quickly, shaking his head at you. "No, don't say that. You won't do this alone. I want to be here for you. I want to be a part of this. To do this together ."

Jaw tightening, your fingers gripped the fabric of your shirt like a lifeline. You wanted that, you really did, but not after what he’d put you through for the past few weeks. You couldn’t handle navigating pregnancy and raising a young child with a father who was unreliable, always in and out of the picture at their own leisure. That would only make things worse, and it would only hurt you and eventually this child more.

“We can’t, Matt,” you said, forcing the words out. “I can’t depend on you. And if I can’t depend on you–if I can’t trust that you’ll be there when we need you–then I don’t want that. Because you’ll only cause more pain.” 

You bit your lip, struggling to get the words out as you watched Matt crumple to his knees before you. He was openly weeping now, each strangled sob only causing your heart to ache further. There was no pleasure to be gained in watching how broken he looked right now, bent in half on his knees before you with tears streaming down his face, but you knew this was what you needed to do.

“If the responsibilities of a committed relationship were already too much for you,” you continued, voice cracking on a few words, “then I don’t think you’re ready to be a father, Matt. Not like that. Not now, at least.”

“Sweetheart, don’t,” he choked out. “Please.”

Eyes snapping shut at his plea, you couldn’t look at him as you forced yourself to finish what you knew you had to tell him. It was for the best in the end. 

“I’m nine weeks along,” you told him, eyes still clamped shut. “So there’s–there’s not really anything for you to be a part of at the moment, Matt.” Swallowing hard, you tried to ignore the way it felt like someone was squeezing your heart. “I don’t need your help with anything. And maybe–maybe farther along we can set something up for you to occasionally hear the baby or feel their movements, but until they’re born…there’s not really anything more for you here right now.”

“Don’t say that,” he begged. “Please don’t say that. I’ll fix this! I promise I’ll fix it!”

You swiftly turned around, burying your face in your hands. Telling Matt all of this pained you far more than you imagined it would. It didn’t help that there was a small part of you that felt like you might’ve been making a mistake. That somewhere in the back of your mind there was a small voice wanting you to turn back around and give him another chance. To let him try to prove himself. To see if he could fix things.

But you ignored that voice, shoving it far away. He’d walked out on you. What you were doing now was not the same.

“Please leave, Matt,” you whispered. 

You didn’t wait for a response before you stepped into your bedroom, closing the door behind you and hurrying over to your bed. Climbing into it, you threw the blankets over yourself, burying your face in the pillow and trying to muffle the sound of your crying. In the hallway you heard Matt slowly rise to his feet, his sobs still audible to you in the bedroom. But he didn’t follow after you. Instead, you heard him make his way out to your living room, sliding a window open as he stepped out onto your fire escape. Then you heard the soft thump of your window closing after him.

That’s when you let yourself openly weep, crying into your pillow until you eventually cried yourself to sleep.

Furious at himself, Matt slammed the door to his roof access behind himself with a sharp bang that echoed loudly throughout his apartment. Tearing his helmet from off of his head, he stormed over to the stairs before he stomped his way down them, his boots landing with a heavy thud along each step. At the bottom, overcome with sheer rage, he threw his helmet forcefully from his hands with a roar. He heard the way it flew across the room and skidded along the floor before slamming loudly into the radiator. 

Matt began to tear his gloves from his hands after, his chest heaving with fury and shame and despair. He threw each glove roughly onto the floor next beside his boots, pissed at himself. Pissed at Daredevil. Pissed at everything.

You were pregnant. That’s what you’d been wanting to tell him that night. And like the fucking piece of shit he was–self-sabotaging as Foggy always told him–he’d yelled at you. Pushed you away. Abandoned you. And all you’d wanted was him. For him to be there for you.

And he hadn’t even given you something so goddamn simple as that.

“Fuck!” he cursed loudly.

In his agitation, he began to pace the length of his apartment like a feral cat. His hands were in his hair, roughly tugging at the strands as more tears slipped down his cheeks. He had fucked things up far more than he’d realized. But knowing that you were carrying his child? How was he supposed to let that go?

He loved you. Truthfully he loved you more than the city he swore to protect, even if he’d been an absolute asshole when it came to showing that to you lately. Because you were right. His actions hadn’t shown that you were his priority. 

With an enraged growl Matt’s hands darted out, grabbing onto his kitchen table and violently flipping it over. Everything on it clattered noisily to the floor, but he couldn’t have cared less. He was fuming and too far gone in his thoughts. He could feel the Devil’s wrath inside of himself, begging him to be released. He could hear the Devil’s voice telling him that he did this to himself. That he got what he deserved. That he’d never be good enough for you or anyone. That he’d be a terrible father.

Gritting his teeth roughly together, his breathing came in sharp and hard. His hands landed on his hips as his eyes clamped shut, the muscles jumping in his cheeks as he tried to quiet that voice in his head.

Because no. That was wrong. 

Exhaling a rough breath, he tried to regain his composure. You deserved better, that was true. He hadn’t been treating you the way he should’ve been before things had ended. That was on him. But you and his unborn child deserved better. And he was going to give you both that.

So that’s what he would do. He’d find a way to fix things. To prove how wrong you were about him not wanting to be a father and about him not loving you more than Hell’s Kitchen. To find a way to get you to trust him again, feel capable of depending on him. And while he knew he couldn’t give up the Devil, he knew he could learn to compromise. To truly be there for you. And he’d do whatever it took for however long it took for you to trust him again. Because you and that baby were his family. 

You and that baby were his.

Tag List: @mattmurdocksstarlight @just-going-through-the-motions @paracosmic-murdock @yeonalie @auroraslibrary @1988-fiend @will-delete-this-later-probably @two-unbeatable-beaters @danzer8705 @ragamuffin285 @callmebrooklynbabes @spookyboogyuniverse @peachy-aisha @stevenknightmarc @nerdytreeflower @fucktthisworld @remuslupinwifee @kmc1989 @thychuvaluswife @mywellspringoflife @thornbushrose @yarrystyleeza @shiorimakibawrites @marvelcinematiquniverse @vallovesthedilfs @scoliobean @this--is--music @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @swissy23 @lilthbunny @that-girl-named-alex @warsaur @lareinaisabelle @pazii

[starszinhis3y3s]

im gonna fukin kill myself directly cuz of my boss tanisha

like i literally was unable to stop self harming in front of her. she left cuz my hand was bleeding, i was shaking so hard i couldnt get over my stutter. all over her discrimination!! she yelled at me gaslighted me then flipped all the blame back to me and now im the bad guy again! when i went in there to have a civil fuckin discussion about her disrespect and how its literally getting me followed home and how ppl who literally keep their pieces on them are callin me a trap and a tranny. theres one man who comes in, i keep telling management I'm scared that hes gonna blast that shotgun in my face, and tanisha is over there callin me a girl to his face. when hes already told me i needed to stop pretending to be a girl cuz thats "tricking ppl" like. and i cant even get a sentence out before shes uelling over me to get me to shut up. fucking drill sargent ass bigot fuckin cunt assed piece of a wet shit.

shes someone who bullied 2 ppl into quitting and fully fucked over a dad hard enough that he left the entire state to go live wit family. elvas her whipped ass fuckin purse dog of a yes woman. like i cant. ive asked for a transfer atp and she wont transfer me to ANY store within a 10 mile radius WHEN I BIKE I DO NOT HAVE THE MEANS TO RIDE THE BUS OR TAKE A LYFT EVERY DAY ITS ALREADY 3 FUCKIN MILES TO & ANOTHER 3 BACK HOME. i litcherally wanna pop this bitches eyes out her throat. like this decade of anger management skills is doing some bodybuilder strongman type heavy lifting rn. and all the drugs i take. drugs save lives kids 🤦🏽 her life

idk y'all i just am so angry!!! she won't respect me on my terms, and thinks the military type respect is the pillar for all respect or whatever. OH AND GET THIS. IM IN TROUBLE FOR LETTING HOMELESS FOLKS HAVE WATER FOR FREE. WATER. IN SOUTH TX. WTF THAT IS LIKE CONDEMNING THEM TO DEATH idk what else to do besides angry cry and vent about it where i can which is pretty much only here😮‍💨 like ik yall aint gon call the cops on me for talkin bout the fucked up shit in my head. which is kinda my only release for the fucked up shit my ocd wants me to fixate on

[monumentalslutt]

i feel so like embarrassed saying this like i feel so cringe i swear i don’t mean this in pick me cringe embarassing way but i feel like most ppl don’t get what i mean when i say i get really angry, brah my anger just as extreme as my weird hyper moods and weird emo moods like that’s the level it be on it’s just i never am that angry in public no one has pissed me off to that level (to my face at least these damn mfs be sassy as fuck over text tjough but lose they balls in person) anyways yeah i don’t like how nobody gets that i be getting that emotionally angry too i just am not gonna randomly start screaming in public i have social awareness mate i’m not a freak unless i get really upset but then i normally start crying bcs im like wtf everyone’s looking at me and i get super upset and angry cry ���� i hate when i angry cry bcs it makes me feel like a pussy ass bitch and then it makes me more angry and i cry more but normally my dad or 💞 or ☕️ you know all the ppl i’ve been around when i’m angry crying gives me a hug and i feel better so maybe i angry cry when im only angry bcs like i need a hug and when i’m just like fuck u i hate u angry like tryna hurt their feelings angry then idk soz i’m stoned and i don’t even know why i’m talking abojt me being angry wtf thags so weird see why do i always have the urge to share unnecessary stupid shit abt mhself i needa learn to just keep ro myself a lil more just in general i don’t need to talk so much lately i’ve also really started hating how talkative i can get it geniunely makes me dislike myself like why do i do that that’s sp embarrassing, but i’ve actually been getting way better at doing it to people i just realised, OMG YIPPEE i literally share here where only teana could ever see it sometimes i wish i made my ex download tumblr but then i remind mhself he definitely doesn’t care enough to be checkin on my tumblr omg ok i feel sad 🤬 how am i gonna have no marijuana no vape NUTHIN for 3 weeks straight starting TOMORROW ima start shaking and sweating like a tweaker

[evandorepart2]

ok deleted this on my main cause that was a bit Too personal. but i am literally such an angry and petty person. i get upset sooo much like about stupid things. if anything does Not go my way or the way i specifically planned it to go i will lose my mind. i was called a crybaby a lot in elementary cause its fucking true lol i get upset very very easily and this can make me be very mean.

HOWEVER. this is deflected with my ability to Not hold onto any emotions longer than a few minutes. so i can just. Leave. i can go on a walk or do whatever and then im fine. i have poor impulse control but enough sense to just. do ofher stuff when i start getting upset. so im not one of Those people online whod respond to smth with like an entire essay and get needlessly upset whatever before pulling the guilt trip thing cause they want sympathy. i Could be. very close to being. but i am self aware

theres no real point to this just now i am sitting here shaking like an agitated chihuahua opening and closing my hands so i dont snap

i lied. im talking more LOL but also its like at the same time i cant just. Talk with people about why im upset because then thats gonna make me even More upset and im not great with communicating so people misunderstand what im tryinf to say which upsets me More. and while i cry a lot when that happens i also like. get physically angry. like i want to yell and throw things around but i cant do rhat cause then im being like my mum

its hard to grapple as someone who expresses and feels (like. mentally feels. emofions happen but i only am aware ro a limited degree) very little how Angry i can be. like my best friend has anger issues (tho hes gotten help for that), my cousin has anger issues and severe adhd, my mother is bipolar. so like im surrounded with people who experience that stuff but there was always just a degree of seperation when it came to me. like an outward and inward perception that doesnt match wtf is going on inside.

idk! idk. it feels weird talking abt it cause like the degrees ive gotten to curate my life to Prevent that from happening. like an unconscious choice to stop myself from being super upset by cuttinf people off or dropping out of school or being very limited in my online engagement with people or my interests. cause nothing good happens when youre angry i know that cause i grew up in it.

that being said i am tryinf very very hard not to be petty and mean about stuff i see on tumblr but certain constant trends are Incredibly upsetting me and i am two steps away from snapping. thank god i have limited followers so i can snap into the void in peace but still.

[elysianslove]

what would the jjk characters’ reactions be if their girlfriend walked in on them jerking off 👀 or other way around, they walked in on their gf masturbating to them JSHSJSHSH

DJHSDJS THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS. it’s whore knee hours 😼 

nsfw under the cut, my loves! it’s really filthy. also, all characters are aged up if they aren’t already 18+. if there are mistakes in this im sorry vdhsdjs

ITADORI YUUJI 

walking in on him; probably screams or something tbh. he’s not used to doing it ever since you two got into a relationship and have been sexually active, but the past few weeks and you’ve just been so busy, and yuuji’s so needy 🥺 but he doesn’t wanna bother you 🥺 so he takes matters into his own hands literally and just settles back in bed, sweatpants down his hips, shirt lifted up to reveal his entire chest, and hard cock in his hand. he’s actually rushing through it because it somehow feels wrong and he just wants to rid himself of all this sexual frustration. he’s diligently and roughly stroking himself, and it’s really obscene: the noises his hand is making, the way his hips can’t seem to stop thrusting up, the loud grunts and gasps and whines that can’t stop leaving his lips. and just before he tips over the edge, as he feels his stomach tighten, he hears the door open and your cheerful voice greet him. he screams. like yells out, but he’s also? cumming? weirdly enough? he’s too dazed as he comes down from his high to mind your teasing smile, with his heart beating to loud in his chest, and he welcomes your pretty mouth kissing up the trail of cum he’d left on his chest.

walking in on you; gets really flustered but really cocky at the same time? when he came home tired and walked into the bathroom to wash up he hadn’t been expecting your body in the bathtub, touching yourself, moaning out his name. you’ve clearly been doing this for a couple of minutes because of the speed of your fingers and oh my god are you fingering yourself? he’d been quiet when coming into the bathroom, only announcing his arrival at the front door, and it doesn’t seem like you notice his presence. he watches as your back arches, hips pushing leniently into the curve of your fingers, and you let out a frustrated whine. no, sob. you cry out his name against desperately and yuuji doesn’t think he’s ever been this horny. the initial shyness and shock has long since worn off and all he wants to do is bury his fingers in your soaking cunt instead. when you cry out again, in frustration, and pull your fingers out, he immediately kneels by the bathtub, meeting your eyes with his as he feigns a pout at you and says, “aw, can my poor baby only cum on my fingers?” he’s pleased to see you’re not even a little shy about it when you frown deeply and nod desperately. 

GOJŌ SATORU

walking in on him; is not in the least bit shameful, just spreads his legs wider, throws his head back to let out another moan and says as he smirks up at you, “you’re more than welcome to join.” he’s not shy about masturbation, and he’ll even talk to you about it. this mf probably loves mutual masturbation as is. but anyway. you’d probably just left for the store, for ten minutes, and you come back and his head’s thrown back on the couch, cock in his hands as the sweatpants he wears have been pushed down to just beneath his balls. he’s being loud, like he’s giving you a show, and as soon as you enter the living room, he lets out a particularly loud grunt, thrusting his hips up. you’re not even sure if he’s dramatizing it or if it really feels that good. he’s doing it slow too, taking his time, thumbing the slit of his pretty cock and smearing the precum all over the pink head. he really is giving you a show, and god are you eating that shit up. he stares you down as he squeezes and strokes, and then, he says, “if your mouth’s gonna hang open like that, might as well put it to use and stuff it.” vdhjsdsjds gojo brainrot. 

walking in on you; is so, so, so teasing about it. if you’re doing it to give him a taste of his own medicine, expect to regret it when your ass is tainted with his handprint and you’re full of his cum. but if you really are innocent about it, he’ll tease you endlessly, saying things like, “pretty baby couldn’t wait for me?” and “so eager,” and “so needy,” with a grin and a tut. he lowkey highkey loves it when he comes home and walks in on your bedroom to see your legs spread out for him so nicely, your fingers stuffing your messy cunt, your nipples all perked up and your body covered in a sheen layer of sweat from the exertion. he watches for minutes on end, and when you finally notice him, and you squeak in surprise and attempt to cover yourself, he grins and shakes his head, grabbing a chair and placing it right across from you so he has a perfect view of your spread legs and says, “i wanna watch you cum.” he’s so. shameless about it omg. if you take too long though he’ll just swat your hand away and eat you out till you can’t feel your legs <3

RYOMEN SUKUNA

walking in on him; i don’t think he masturbates, like, ever. if he’s ever horny he will just grab you, pull you aside, and fuck you. like he’s not ashamed about it. even if it’s in public, he will find some way to put his dick inside you. but! let’s say you introduce the concept to him and it’s a day where you’d just left him alone for a few hours, so he decides there’s no harm in trying. he hadn’t expected it to feel this good. granted, it’s not your mouth or cunt, but he’s still fully in control of his pleasure. he kinda gets lost in the feel of it all that he doesn’t notice you coming back home. you stay so silent, and watch the whole thing as he throws his head back and cums all over his hand and stomach, and he does it all while saying your name and if that isn’t an ego boost idk what is. he gets so embarrassed, but displays it in a different way. he just gets angry at you basically, for catching him, and when you laugh at his reaction. last 😃 straw 😃 good luck walking tmrw <3

walking in on you; oh shit okay. listen. he will absolutely get mad. like wtf only i am supposed to give you pleasure??? if he walks in on you, like yuuji, desperately trying to fuck yourself with your fingers and finding no way to reach your orgasm, he won’t do shit. he’ll just stand there with his arms crossed as you fail to reach your orgasm for the nth time and it’s literally just humiliating at this point. you’re sobbing and your cunt’s a mess, your entire tight and trembling with the build up of arousal. you can tell he’s aroused too. you can see it actually, but he makes no move to satisfy himself, and you honestly think that seeing you like this is doing it for him. the breaking point for him would probably be hearing your broken voice just sob out a mixture of a chant of his name and please, just desperate and wanting. and then, oh boy does he give it to you. makes you orgasm so many times, makes you see stars all night, just as a reminder of who you really belong to. what a sadist i love him lol

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

walking in on him; he probably does it every once in a while because he’s a teenage boy?? (still aged up here). but he only does it to relieve himself, not for anything other than that, no ulterior motive. just to rid himself of, well, his horniness. probably the type to do it in the shower because he does not like any evidence that he ever did it. he’s hunched up underneath the water, the steady flow of it hitting his back, while he has one hand steady on the wall before him, and another wrapped tightly around his cock. he’s panting and gasping, and oh, megumi would make the prettiest sounds when he cums i just know it. probably looks gorgeous too. he doesn’t hear you come into the shower because he’s so close, shit, this feels so good — and then he feels your hands come around his waist, spinning him around and his hand’s still moving but his body’s gone into absolute shock. he hears you whisper, “let me see you, baby” and he just absolutely loses it. his face scrunches up, heat blossomed on his chest and cheeks as his hand moves rapidly on his cock, milking himself and spilling all over your stomach. when he’s well spent his head falls into the crook of your neck, and he’s just letting out tiny little gasps when you say, “you’re so pretty when you cum,” and god, is he in love with you. 

walking in on you; so. shy!!!!! omg!!!! you’re probably on your bed, on your stomach, ass in the air as you rub your clit. your thighs are smeared with your arousal and your hand and palm are outright drenched and megumi feels his mouth dry, his pants suddenly way too tight. you don’t notice him for a while, and he’s just too in shock to move, until you tilt your head and catch him staring. you lock eyes with him, then sink a finger into your pussy, your eyes rolling back and your mouth falling open into a silent gasp at the intrusion. megumi’s gone crazy like his brain’s malfunctioned. but that wasn’t even the worst of it. when you start to fuck yourself with your fingers, and then bring a second one inside, you moan out his name and he just succumbs to all his desires, walking slowly over to you and lightly massaging and caressing your thighs and ass, watching up close as you continue to fuck yourself. then, gently, he takes your wrist in his grasp and pulls your fingers out, lightly brushing against your soaked folds as he hums, then says, “let me.”

INUMAKI TOGE

walking in on him; he’s actually really open about it? like he just doesn’t care. he will get a little flustered if you catch him in the moment, but that’s only for a few seconds. like he’s just doing his thing, stroking his dick and reveling in the flood of dopamine that’s overwhelming his brain, squeezing the base, tightening his fingers around the tip, urging more precum out. when you walk in, he freezes momentarily, his hand flying to the base of his cock and just shuddering lightly as he holds back his orgasm. and then he just sighs, leaning back again and stroking rougher, encouraging you to come closer with a simple look in his eyes. your mouth is almost immediately around the tip of his dick, and he just holds you there as he strokes himself, watching as you suck on just the tip. you’re a sight for sore eyes like this, and when you meet his eyes, his eyes fly up, accidentally shoving his dick further in your tight, warm mouth and cumming down your throat. he doesn’t even give himself another second to catch his breath before he’s pushing you down onto the bed, kissing you so deeply, his cock already hardening again.

walking in on you; the same way he’s so nonchalant about himself masturbating, he doesn’t mind if you do it too. it’s understandable how sometimes you just want me time, and he tells himself if he were to ever catch you he wouldn’t really react in any way. he is wrong 😃👍🏼. just like he’d pushed your mouth around his dick when you’d once caught him, he immediately rushes to you, one hand wrapped around your thigh, the other guiding your fingers deeper inside of you as his mouth latches onto your clit. his mouth??? his mouth!!! sinful!!! he eats you out like a starved man. the idea is so filthy though, like you’re fingering yourself and he’s fondling your breasts and teasing your nipples, his mouth and lips sucking so harshly on your clit and you’re so fucking wet you’re soaking the bed beneath you. the orgasm that hits you is mind blowing, and imagine your surprise when you pull your fingers out, expecting him to pull his mouth away as well, but he just replaces your fingers with his own, pushing you down harsher on the bed and continuing to pleasure your oversensitive body oof.

end note; um n e ways 😏 if you guys want other characters with this lemme know bc brain: fried :D

[hxneekyuu]

first date || kozume kenma, iwaizumi hajime (f!reader)

request : hi! ☺️ can i request first date headcanons (or a blurb, whichever one!!) with kenma and/or iwa ?? reader can be fem or gn! thank you sm 🥰🥰🥰

warnings : kenma is a big dummy

a/n : yall know i had to throw the seijoh four in there they thrive on chaos

kozume kenma

mans probably doesnt even know its a date im so sorry

when you ask him to get lunch with you, hes just like

yeah sure

but he notices that youve dressed up a little bit and that you seem really nervous when he finally shows up

and suddenly hes like

should i have dressed better?? is this okay?? why is she nervous whats happening im getting nervous now

you guys are friends, what is making you so nervous ?? you eat lunch tg all the time and yet hes never seen that lipstick before,,, or the way you keep pushing your food around but not really eating it 

“why arent you eating?” his voice is soft and vaguely disinterested as always, but hes watching you really closely, waiting for you to tell him whats wrong

when you tell him its nothing, he feels like hes definitely missing something, but when the waitress comes by and mentions how cute you look together hes like 

“oh--”

he puts it tg pretty easily after that 

and now his hands are getting kinda cold which only really happens when hes nervous 

he doesnt know if he wants to ask just to clarify or if he feels really embarrassed about having to ask because he doesnt want you to find out that he had no idea this was a date

and now hes really worried about how he looks like wtf who shows up to a date in slippers why didnt he put rEAL SHOES ON

when you guys are outside he offers to take you to get coffee or ice cream or smth and you give him a look bc he literally never wants to do anything except be at home 

aaaand now hes wondering if he misread it again and that its actually not a date

hes having a Bad Time 

finally hes like fuck this and just kinda ,, slaps his hand into yours

its not subtle or cute or soft hes like WHAM and just grabs your hand and keeps walking 

but when you dont do anything except yelp a little from the impact like wtf bro calm down no need for the aggressive hand holding , hes like

,,,,, okay so this is definitely a date right

hes really bad at this give him a break 

you guys are probably going to need to talk after he walks you home bc hes going to be thinking about it all day and not doing much of anything else until he finally calls you bc hes so confused 

overall a complete disaster but he really is trying his best 

iwaizumi hajime

he’s never going to admit this to anyone ever but he asked oikawa about his date idea and also for help picking an outfit 

the second part he didnt actually ask for, tooru is just Completely Committed to the plan 

at first hes like what about dinner and a movie ??? 

and oikawas like

this is why you cant be trusted 

so instead of taking you out for dinner at some stuffy restaurant and then to a movie theater where you cant talk 

oikawas like what if you just invite her over and make dinner and then just make the movie background noise so you guys can actually ,,, you know,,, talk 

and iwa’s like NO THATS SCUMMY SHES GONNA THINK IM BEING SCUMMY

and oikawas like THEN DONT BE SCUMMY ABOUT IT YOU HEINOUS BITCH

they almost threw hands over this conversation but thats for another day

so iwa invites you over and hes so nervous that he almost chops his damn finger off making you dinner 

but somehow he doesnt come off as nervous bc hes iwaizumi hajime 

he looks so calm and collected and charming and sweet

hes making so much conversation and asking you about your day and your life and everything he can think of

and its so damn smooth but really hes trying to distract you from how his hands are shaking bc hes actually just a big nervous dork

and to top it all off hes a great cook hes literally perfect that man 

he asks what movie you want to watch and actually really is begging you silently to pick something you really want to watch so that it doesnt seem like hes just trying to put smth random on before he seDUCES YOU

and right when you guys are sitting down to watch the movie, he looks out his apartment window and boom--

matsuhanakawa 

hes on the third floor how the fuck are they outside his window 

where did they get that ladder

how do they all fit on it at once 

the world may never know

and then his entire cool composure comes crashing down and hes like 

OI FUCK YOU GUYS 

angry iwa-chan stomping over to the window

he really could have done that better he totally could have ignored them

nope hes seeing red and chewing them out at the window 

but youre laughing your ass off bc there goes your date, once charming and calm, off to whoop some ass 

honestly he thinks hes not getting a second date, but how could you not want a second date? hes iwaizumi hajime

[cassyapper]

I posted 11,695 times in 2021

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My Top Posts in 2021

#5

part 1 part 2

jotaro and kakyoin’s epic gamer moment

170 notes • Posted 2021-01-15 08:03:17 GMT

#4

hello fellow stone ocean fans

[image ID: a sketch of enrico pucci from jojo’s bizarre adventure. he has a hand to his forehead and an annoyed look on his face. in a speech bubble reads a tweet saying “just found out the ‘cat’ in ‘catboy’ isnt short for catholic, i think im going to be sick.” end ID]

229 notes • Posted 2021-08-09 01:05:33 GMT

#3

thanks dad

235 notes • Posted 2021-08-08 18:44:01 GMT

#2

okay so i’ll refine this later (ie add sources and such) with my video essay/essay post whatever it ends up being but let me say this now i think the lover’s arc is like the foundation of the bond kakyoin and jotaro had and here is why

jotaro is a character KNOWN for his independence streak araki himself says jotaro is very much a lone wolf kinda character. he hates relying on others he hates not being able to cover all of his own bases he hates being vulnerable and not being in control

but in the lover’s arc, that’s exactly what happens. he isn’t in control and he can’t get back into control using his usual methods (ie attack the stressor until they tap out or die). jotaro has no plan and he’s scared, he is literally shaking in the anime and manga, and he’s so angry because he’s never been in this kind of position before

but then kakyoin takes the lead, kakyoin runs with joseph and eventually polnareff gets up on the uptake and follows, and the last thing kakyoin tells jotaro before turning the corner is just to basically distract steely dan -- make sure he doesnt cause joseph even more pain

and suddenly jotaro is able to swallow the humilation and fear and anger of the situation he’s in. why? because he trusts kakyoin. he trusts kakyoin to care of his grandfather. i could definitely be wrong, but i do not remember another instance in which jotaro trusted a loved one to someone else completely, with him not even being around to supervise in case something goes wrong (except for maybe jolyne’s mom with, well, jolyne, but he does give her the stand arrow piece to use if necessary which might undermine that trust depending on the interpretation). he’s able to relax and stop shaking because he knows joseph is in good hands. capable hands. hands that arent his, but reliable all the same.

and not only that, jotaro trusts kakyoin to save he himself as well. he knows steely dan is going to attack him, especially when the lovers gets kicked out of joseph and he’s free to go fucking ham on steely dan, he knows steely dan will do anything, no matter how slimy, to get out of the situation once it goes south, including and not limited to killing jotaro. but jotaro trusts kakyoin to save him should that happen -- and kakyoin does. hierophant is looped around the lovers the whole time and stops steely dan from stabbing jotaro/hurting the little girl. jotaro’s been saved by other people before/will be saved by other people, but he was just so confident in kakyoin’s ability. he never doubted for a second kakyoin’s ability to not only keep his loved ones safe, but keep he himself safe as well. jotaro, a character trademarked by his independence and aloofness, trusted and relied on kakyoin in this instance and kakyoin delivered. just. do you understand why this is so integral so their relationship and friendship

kakyoin is one of the only people jotaro could trust this way if not the ONLY person he ever trusted this way, and kakyoin, a character who appreciates being seen as useful and reliable, knows this and delivers and it jsut. man i jsut. they cared about each other so much. jotaro was willing to let go and put himself and joseph in kakyoin’s hands, and kakyoin was more than happy to catch him (metaphorically) and make sure that trust was justified. just. do you understnad now. do you understand

anyway lovers arc does more for jotakak than any other arc in the show despite them not even being near each other for the duration of it and it drives me fucking insane you guys

286 notes • Posted 2021-11-01 06:24:56 GMT

#1

this actually canonically happened during lull times between trains araki told me, we just didnt see it cause it wasnt a stand fight

original/reference under the cut

1112 notes • Posted 2021-07-10 19:41:55 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

yall can take this sorry i just like personalized stats <3

[hu4ngs]

anything for yuta please! he is so hot in the latest comeback i cRI

im having a break currently and BOY im so happy to write for you!!! +++ i’d like to take this opportunity to ask you all to stay safe and healthy!

yall know what’s gonna happen. yes you’ve guessed it right i’m doing a strangers to lovers au

so let’s assume you look like your twin bc well…. you’re twins

BUT your twin is the popular twin, and you’re mediocre. AND you two go to separate schools

you’re going to an all-girls’ science school because your life is already hectic you don’t wanna make it anymore hectic with men

your sister goes to a nearby art school. so you know what that means; f r a t  b o y s.

also you’ve been knew that your sister is a bit of a player herself

like you’ve had boys coming to your house, crying, begging for your sister to take him back

nonetheless, though, you still love each other and depend on each other a lot

like, whenever you feel like getting a boyfriend, she’d help you out (even though your relationship ends up in flames about 3 months later because the boys you dated are all fratboys that couldn’t appreciate you enough). and in return you’d help her a lot with getting ready for dates or with her studies

so one day

you were in your school, watching a bunch of girls do a practice match of volleyball with another school because you were bored

then you got a text from your sister saying that she needed help and that it was a level-10 threat

i mean,,,, LEVEL 10? that has to be serious

so you dashed tf out of your school

by a few minutes, you’d arrived to your school

your first instinct was to go to her classroom

so you did

and then you saw a bunch of men hogging around your sister’s desk

so you were like?? wtf is going on

“what are you guys doi-”

before you could even finish your sentence, one of them yelled, “there she is!”

and another yelled, “get her!”

you were freaked??? first of all, you actually put in efforts in how you look today, you’re not about to let some crazy men ruin it for you

so you ran for your life

as you were running you wonder what your sister had done for these men to decide to kill her

thanks to your teacher for forcing you to join tons of cross-country runs, you managed to get away from them

you ran into a room and in the midst of panic you knocked onto something, and it all fell apart

you cupped your mouth

from what you can see, you probably knocked over some arts student’s sculpture

there wasn’t anyone, though, so you started looking around to hide before any art student walks in

as you were running towards what looked like a storage room, someone stepped out

he had blonde hair, and was just crazily handsome

but that wasn’t the point

he saw you, and then looked over behind you

“what the- hey! did you do that?” he asked

you weren’t sure if he was angry, or if that’s just his normal face, but eitherway he was really handsome

you looked behind you to the broken sculpture again,  and shrugged hesitantly

“may…..be…..?” your voice squeaked at the end

he gave you a look, before walking past you, “if you haven’t noticed i had been working on this for a very long time, asshole.”

his intonation wasn’t angry, but it still left a sting when he said that

you felt guilty

“i’m sor-”

“oh shut it, yuna, save that sorry for my friends that you’ve fucked.” he scoffed as he started cleaning up your mess

you were confused for a second, before everything clicked

he must’ve mistook you for your sister

you laughed awkwardly

“um, i’m y/n, not yuna” you said

he stopped sweeping, and then shot you a confused glance

“since when did you have a whole identity change?” he asked sarcastically again

you’re usually annoyed when people gave you an attitude, but you weren’t this time. maybe because you deserved it……?

“oh no, yuna is yuna. i’m her twin!” you smiled.

he stopped again, and looked at you

he clicked his tongue, and then stared at you from your head to your toe

“well…. you do have a better fashion sense than your sister.” he said

you didn’t know why, but you felt supeeeeeer happy when he said that

“i didn’t know yuna had a twin?”

“oh i go to the all-girls’ school a few miles away from here.” you told him

by now, he was done cleaning up the mess and was working on another sculpture

you wonder why he wasn’t SO mad at the fact that you literally broke a what seemed like months of hardwork

you walked over to the blonde, but he didn’t give you any reaction

“why aren’t you throwing a tantrum that i broke your masterpiece?” you asked

he gave you a glance before going back to his new sculpture

he shrugged, “i felt like it was ugly anyways.” he casually said

you nodded, and then just watched him work on his clay in silence

“so why are you here?” he asked, breaking the silence

you chuckled, “some boys are chasing my sister. i guess this is what she meant when she was having a level-10 threat.”

the guy chuckled too

“aren’t you gonna help your sister?” he asked

you shook your head, “she can handle this on her own. i’m sure her new jock boyfriend will help her out.”

“oh yea, i’m sure johnny will. everyone’s scared of him” he agrees

“you’re not so bad, y/n. i’m yuta.” he held out his hand - that had so many clay on it

it seems like he knew exactly what he was doing as he gave you a smirk to see if you were gonna shake hands or not

you took this as a friendship test - or something - so you took his hand

he made a playful look of disgust, “ew, can’t believe you took my hand like that.” he laughed

you’re pretty sure that was the first time that you saw him properly smile, and he had a really pretty smile too.

“your smile is so pretty….. i wish mine was like yours. when i smile i look like a goat.” you said as you simultaneously rested your face onto your clay-ed hand

“oh GOD!” you yelled, and made yuta laugh

“dumbass!” he claimed happily, before wiping a finger onto your nose

“HEY!” you yelled, and wiped some onto his face

yuta didn’t flinch, instead he was simply laughing

after a moment of laughter, he sighed softly, and then looked at you

“just between the two of us, you’re the better twin, y/n” he confessed, and  you giggled

he smiled again, and went on with his work

“how do i get these off my face by the way?”

he chuckled again, “you can’t” he joked

but your dumbass, who has never had experience with arts, believed him

so you were panicking

“what the- um… shouldn’t we get these off our faces?” you asked, nudging him

he shook his head, “i like it on mine. it’s a concept of van gogh’s.”

your heart was really gonna sink in your stomach, he didn’t have as much clay on his face as you did!

“that’s nice, but we should get it off our faces”

you said, nudging him even more

then, he burst out laughing again.

“you’re so funny” he told you

“you can’t be this clueless. of course the clay can be removed. just wash it with water later, idiot” he said, and shook his head

“oh” you said, a little bit embarrassed

then, you got a call

you fished your phone out just to see your sister calling

you signaled yuta to be quiet and he nodded

yuta didn’t have to hear your sister’s voice to know that she was furious at you

“wow! thank god, right? hope you don’t break his heart too.” you said sarcastically

yuta laughed at your snarky attitude

“yes i’m at your school, but a bunch of boys started chasing me thinking i was you.” you explained

“you know what? don’t come home if you’re gonna stay angry!”

you ended the call and turned back to yuta

“well, she’s mad.” you told him, and he nodded

“i love her and all, but she’s the most annoying, irritating, picky, selfish person ever when she’s mad.” you scoffed

“you can always sleep in the streets tonight” he joked

you gave him a look, and he looked away, still thinking it was a decent joke

“just lock her out,” he suggested

“i can’t, she has a spare key.”

“that’s tragic”

you nodded in agreement

“you can come over to my house if you’re comfortable enough” he winked when you looked at him

“but i bet you won’t do it, you look like you don’t have the balls to stay a night with a boy” he shrugged casually as he kept his eyes onto his sculpture

“bet.” you said, and he genuinely looked shocked

“what the hell, are- are you serious?” he stammered, which you found funny

“i mean, sure, why not?”

“aren’t you worried that i might be a serial killer?” he asked

you shrugged as you leaned onto the table in front of him

“so you’re my own version of joe goldberg? sign me up” you joked

he laughed, “you’re brave”

you let out a peace sign as a respond

“we should order in some pizzas tonight then, my treat!” he happily exclaimed

you had been staring at his face for so long - since you first met him

and you can’t help but call him handsome in your mind each time too

you weren’t really that much of a believer in love at first sight but come on, now. yuta has the looks, the talents, the personality, the respect, the humour. and to top all of that he’s got a bit of an attitude. he was screaming boyfriend material into your ears at this point

when he realised you weren’t giving out a response to a pizza night, he froze

“are you on a- um- are you on a diet? do you wanna eat something with low calories instead or-”

taken aback you immediately refuse, “oh my god, no, no! pizza is fine for tonight.” you told him

he let out a sigh of relief

“my ex used to freak out whenever i pick something to eat and it’s not up to her standards, sorry.” he explained

you rolled your eyes at the thought, “that’s plain annoying.”

he nodded in agreement, “it’s a different story if she had something to eat in mind, but no. she lets me decide and then throws a tantrum when i suggest something simple, or some shit like that.” he grunted

you chuckled seeing him annoyed

“hey, what time is it, by the way?” he asked

you opened your phone, and showed it to him, it read 7:48 PM.

“you wanna get going? talking about food is making me hungry.” he explained

you nodded, “me too.”

he started cleaning up his desk, and you helped him out

afterwards, the two of you went to wash the clay out of your hands and faces, yuta not forgetting to splash some water onto you while you were at it

the campus was dark and half-empty by then, some students were giving you looks for splashing water at each other, and you had to admit it was a bit embarrassing

“my house is kinda close to the campus, do you wanna walk or do you wanna take the bus?” he asked

you took a while to think, “since we’re gonna get fat tonight, let’s do some exercise beforehand.” you suggested, and he was fine with it

so you two started walking together

it all felt ethereal to you

the weather was great, it was windy in the right ways, the sky still had a hint of purple and pink to it

you had asked yuta a question that had probably excite yuta, because he was talking with full enthusiasts, and you were enjoying yourself seeing him so passionate about something

then, he absentmindedly swung an arm around your shoulder

and you’re just there like ‘OwO’

but you didn’t want to ruin the moment since he was still talking so passionately

so you acted like you didn’t notice it and carried on with the conversation

plus, you were lowkey (or highkey) enjoying his warmth. he’s a very warm person >:(

then, you two reached his apartment, which looked really nice

when you entered his apartment, it was a bit messy, but it was still pretty

you came to a conclusion yuta was a man of STYLE!!!!

“sorry if my place doesn’t live up to your expectations” he said, but you immediately disagree

“this is a really nice place!” you assured

he kinda gave off a playful look before sitting next to you on the sofa, “so if i were to bring you here on a date, would you like it?” he asked

you were taken aback by the question, but that doesn’t mean a smile wasn’t going to form onto your face

you immediately looked away, still having a hard time removing the grin off of your face

“i don’t know, you haven’t asked me on a date to your house yet.” you told him

he laughed, before poking his head onto your shoulder to see your reaction, “so you want me to ask you out on a lazy date?” he asked

you pushed him away, completely embarrassed, “bro like, shut the fuck up” you said playfully, which made yuta burst out laughing

“your reactions to everything are just so cute.” he told you before softly letting a sigh out

“thanks, we’ve been knew that i’m cute.” you joked

yuta made a disgusted face jokingly too, which made you laugh out of embarrassment

both of you took a really long time to finish off your meals becuase both of you were busy criticizing the shitty netflix series that you were watching

by the time both of you were tired, it was already 4 in the morning

neither you nor yuta could believe that both of you had been talking for that long

but it was undeniable that both of you were enjoying each other’s companies so much

at this point you were ready to propose to this man

but OBVIOUSLY you didn’t wtf

also, by now, you were both cuddled up by the sofa while tall girl was playing on the tv

“do you wanna watch another movie after this?” he asked, you nodded absentmindedly even though you were falling asleep

“how are we gonna get to school tomorrow?” you mumbled groggily

yuta was silent for a while and then he said, “let’s just skip tomorrow!” he suggested

you were falling asleep, yes, but the thought of skipping school excites you

you didn’t always skip school, but you wouldn’t turn down an opportunity either

“that’d be great,” you told him, before laying your head back onto his shoulder

“you know what, y/n?” he asked, you hummed as a response

“let’s go out on a date tomorrow.” he whispered, and then lied his head onto yours

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [is gonna rock up late despite literally living with Charlie so enjoy the entrance everybody]

Joe: [when you weren’t invited but still gonna show up like you have somewhere better to be, love that for you, the effort we’ve not gone to because we live here so it’s kinda okay but not really Joseph, also I imagine kinda shook she ended up showing]

Ronnie: [likewise in the sense that she dresses the same everywhere she goes unless it’s a job interview or court appearance lol but we know she looks good if you’re Joseph and into it, I imagine her zoning in on Jamie immediately like who the fuck is this and then oh I’ve heard nothing about you kinda energy soz gal]

Joe: [rude but not untrue in this case, at least Charlie can make it seem like you’re joking and Joe can go get you a drink like soz this is all we have energy ‘cos in jokes]

Ronnie: [I highly doubt they have enough seats around that table so I also imagine her dragging up something to sit on like yeah I’m here to stay bitches and drinking Joe’s drink while he’s gone as a throwback to when she did when they met at that gig and cos we’re obvs claiming him LOL]

Joe: [we know the food is gonna be studenty anyway so having smaller portions won’t kill any of us lmao, just dying at how shocked Sophie is having to conceal she is, host on queen, boring boyfriend having no opinions of course]

Ronnie: [don’t worry gal depending how much of a jealous rage we get into we probably won’t be eating it so you’ll still have brownies left, her face would be iconic and I totally picture Marc on his phone the entire time because Paul used to do that when he was with Trace]

Joe: [giving nothing to this bizarre situation, too real, Charlie and Sophie holding this together, soz guys, Joe jus amused af, do we sit opposite or next to hmm]

Ronnie: [read that as soz gays, ILY mum & dad, I think he needs to sit opposite Jamie so that she can accuse them of eye fucking each other or whatever so probably next to]

Joe: [okay yes gather ‘round everyone]

Ronnie: she lives here

Joe: yeah I told you, Silent Bob’s gf

Ronnie: you said he had a bitch not shes been chained to the radiator since youse lot moved in

Joe: maybe that’s his secret

Ronnie: whens he letting you have your go

Joe: got my own radiator you can have a go on when this is over

Joe: not to brag or nothing

Ronnie: wont be over til the fat flatmate sings & the other one sucking you off while her & mariah duet and the boyfriend pretends he aint watching youse instead is fuck all to brag about

Joe: be lucky if it got close to that level of mildly interesting

Joe: where are you in all this then

Ronnie: under the sink looking for drain cleaner or whatever else i can drink

Joe: why do you get to have all the fun?

Ronnie: i dont waste my time asking bullshit questions

Joe: how are we gonna waste our time

Ronnie: im gonna kill your shared girlfriend & youre gonna cry about it

Joe: I don’t think I am

Joe: no amount of tragedy is gonna breakthrough the chemical fog

Ronnie: you would if you could

Joe: [🙄 at her]

Ronnie: [tips however much is left of her drink into his lap not at all accidentally but we know Charlie and Soph will pretend it was]

Joe: [whip them off to go get changed boy]

Ronnie: [when you wanna follow him but you just gotta glare instead]

Joe: [probably taking whatever we’ve got in to make this go easier, ‘scuse us, so much missing out]

Ronnie: [you know she turned up already on something so do what you gotta do Joseph]

Joe: [Jamie should be talking to you about uni things thus alienating everyone else a lil ‘cos that is a bit rude and will annoy you gal]

Ronnie: [fully just opening up a wound over here literally cos she was already jealous but did not realise they had this much shit in common or anything in common actually so we’re just livid and bleeding]

Joe: [Sophie just running with the kitchen roll like omg do we have bandages guys like oh babe you truly only mean well, Charlie just giving the can you not looks of it all, Joe just jealous because we’ve obviously got our long sleeves]

Ronnie: [a spoken out loud fuck you at everyone but mainly Joe as we go to the bathroom to not deal with this but instead evoke the energy of when Mae downed that mouthwash because she definitely would and also go through the cabinets for anything sharp obvs]

Joe: [at least you can go under the guise of checking on her but really you’re just seeing what she’s doing]

Ronnie: [1000% have not locked the door because we wanted him to follow us but that won’t stop her telling him to get out because walking contradiction forever]

Joe: [locks it behind him in response]

Ronnie: [the most intense glare in response because could not be more livid rn]

Joe: [grabbing wherever the wound is like we’re gonna kiss it better or something like Soph for a casual bit of blood drinking]

Ronnie: [obviously have to push him away really hard because we’re obviously really into it and excuse you boy we’re trying to be angry and hate you, soz to all the flatmates when you hear that crashing about]

Joe: [lmao this tiny bathroom getting destroyed, steady yourself and her despite that clearly not being what she wants right now, roll up a sleeve ‘you never did the X’]

Ronnie: [the glorious visual of trying to get past him to leave/push him away again at the same time in a small space so you just end up pressed up against each other and the door making eye contact and it’s hot af ‘you never took me anywhere’]

Joe: [‘so let me’ do you mean let’s get out of here or in a saucy way either or you skinny as hell girl so if you not really trying to leave it’s easy not to let you]

Ronnie: [‘she’ll let you’ because we’re not just dropping this even if we want to]

Joe: [‘who?’ like an oblivious boy ‘cos clearly not where our head is]

Ronnie: [a really vicious read of Jamie based on what we’re learned this evening that I’m not gonna do because I am not that mean but it’s obvious it’s her and not Sophie we’re talking about, hope you don’t hear us gal]

Joe: [‘I’m not interested’ in every sense right now ‘and you know that, stop pissing about’]

Ronnie: [‘wasn’t any other cunt round the table hanging on her every fucking word, I know that’ because that was blatant Jamie]

Joe: [‘I can’t help it that her fella’s an accountant’ what do you do Marc, do any of us know lol, shrugs ‘we go to the same school, that’s it’ and a look like whatever the fuck this is is clearly more]

Ronnie: [she would wanna lol but we can’t because still mad ‘that’s it?’ not actually a question though more like you better be telling the truth boy ‘why the fuck have you never told me about her then?’]

Joe: [‘I thought I had when I said he had a girlfriend’ not not a lie ‘none of them are what I want to talk about, that’s it’]

Ronnie: [‘you were thinking with this’ grabbing his dick when we say so ‘that’s it’ cos even if that was true Joseph we shade the rest of the flatmates often and you know damn well we love doing it]

Joe: [shakes head even though we are very clearly into that ‘she’s no Soph’ like it wouldn’t be as funny soz]

Ronnie: [‘is right’ like yeah I know you actually seriously wanna get with her, and moving away but not to leave but to pick back up whatever implement we were gonna hurt ourselves with before he came in but didn’t get chance to because we’re genuinely upset]

Joe: [literally putting ourselves in front of it like no ‘Ronnie’ like I don’t know how you’re going to even put it into words boy so it’s mainly a !!! look]

Ronnie: [a look that starts out like don’t try and stop me/fuck you but turns into !! when his does like say something/do something if you mean it]

Joe: [got to go in and kiss you whilst making her push whatever she was gonna use on herself into him, now or never, enjoy the tension finally getting released]

Ronnie: [obviously we’re kissing you back so we all know what’s gonna happen next lol, soz flatmates I really hope you can’t hear anything, especially Charlie cos you actually know they’re related]

Joe: [it is not a big flat so keep quiet, just think he’s comforting her for all this time or what, god bless]

Ronnie: [she would be trying to keep quiet but not for y’all more so he thinks she’s unimpressed/not that into it but that would literally last all of a second because she’s obviously very into it]

Joe: [the levels you aren’t gonna wanna go back in but can’t be seen as being romantic lads]

Ronnie: [I could easily have her leave if we want though because it’s a fact that she doesn’t wanna be here and everyone would be relieved except Joseph]

Joe: [that probably makes sense, honestly, and you’ve freaked them all out, as was the point]

Ronnie: [and lbr you’ve freaked yourselves out with how good that hook up was too so]

Joe: [just go hide in your room like you’re very taxed by that in an acceptable way boy]

Ronnie: [god knows where you’re gonna go gal but please don’t OD again like you literally did in Margate no time ago]

Joe: [the headfuckery]

Ronnie: [poor Charlie just like UMMM WTF cos she must look bad even for her rn and we’ve behaved terribly and then literally legged it so]

Joe: [thank god you’re such a natural party go-er so you can make up some excuse to put them all at relative ease but yeah, for sure like excuse me]

Ronnie: [might be fun to do a convo between them when we’re done with this one]

Joe: [I’m down even though I really haven’t used him yet, I’ll give it a go]

Ronnie: [yeah it’s been forever since we did the group chats with them and Bronson and Bea it feels like another life, I can send you the convo we did where she told him she met Joe if you like cos I re-read that the other day and it was pretty good]

Ronnie: [but the real question is who’s gonna break first and start a convo and how long are we leaving it?]

Joe: [please do ‘cos did not realize we’d done that tbh]

Joe: [I could make a case for either of them, him to prove he meant it as he left it last time but her so she can’t automatically be on the ‘it meant nothing’ total defensive hmm]

Joe: [some hours later when the party is over, or could be]

Joe: Charlie was going pub, he’s left here though

Ronnie: [even later because whatever she’s doing she’s messy and can’t reply to the extent that she doesn’t need to because he won’t be expecting her to and yet here we are]

Ronnie: did whitney ask you to pass it on to us cos hes still disappointed like

Joe: couldn’t say

Joe: just letting you know that you’ll have a free gaff for a while longer

Ronnie: where have i chucked the other one for the sake of this free gaff in your mind mckenna

Joe: alright, free rooms better than fuck all

Ronnie: its his emmy oggie i aint there either

Joe: anywhere good?

Ronnie: compared to what

Joe: established it’s no brag compared to tonight

Ronnie: not gonna stop you comparing me & her

Joe: compare to what?

Joe: pleasantries over cocopops

Ronnie: youll be interested in eating her out now youve got what you wanted off me

Ronnie: 9 is easier to carve than an 8 and you wont look like youre trying to copy the infinity sign one of your other exes wouldve got inked on her

Joe: it’s not remotely the fucking same

Joe: if I was arsed about getting my numbers up there’s millions of girls in this city I could hit up before you

Ronnie: yeah youre not related to any of em and theyd have less clue how to shoot up than you do

Joe: even if the related bit was ringing 100% true, you’re the only user in town now?

Joe: you don’t have to pervert it when it already was

Ronnie: youre already romanticising it like a fucking 13 year old so yeah i do cause one of us has to get real

Joe: you reckon I’m so okay with it just because I can admit I wanted it

Joe: who do you reckon you’re lying to like I weren’t there

Ronnie: who do you reckon youre talking to like i didnt fucking leave you there for a reason

Joe: Fuck off

Ronnie: i did

Joe: for someone who reckons they’re so open, you chat so much shit

Ronnie: open to what soft lad infection

Joe: scars and trackmarks on your sleeve

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: you didn’t miss much

Ronnie: no shit you didnt just invite me cause you wanted to fuck me

Ronnie: can do that anywhere

Joe: yeah and you didn’t just wanna come to make Soph cry, like

Ronnie: i owed you

Joe: get it off your to-do list then

Joe: well done

Ronnie: stop crying youll never look as ugly as horse girl doing it or go for as long as her

Joe: you love her, we all 👀

Ronnie: i said shut up

Joe: no, you say something that’s not stupid

Ronnie: what for fucks sake

Ronnie: what did you reckon id say when you started chatting shit like nothing happened

Joe: alright, I don’t know

Joe: it happened, right

Ronnie: you werent hallucinating

Joe: nothing that makes that happen in the bathroom cupboard

Joe: I don’t regret it, I know that

Ronnie: meant to be made up to hear it am i

Joe: nah, probably not

Joe: but you wanted me to talk about it so I am

Ronnie: i wanted you to take the fucking hint when i legged it as soon as

Joe: you could’ve blocked me, so

Joe: pardon me for not taking it that seriously

Ronnie: not your crazy ex & i couldnt deny you your bullshit heroics

Ronnie: mary aint carrying me anywhere and i know how bad you wanna see me turn blue

Joe: you like having a stalker, is what you mean

Ronnie: block me and get your whore flatmate to tell you what she likes about you

Ronnie: weve established i aint got the talent to sing no cunts praises

Joe: we’ve established I’m not interested in that

Ronnie: cause you want me to tell you how smart you are at fucking me instead of beat the shit out of you

Ronnie: it wont last

Joe: familys forever, sis

Ronnie: not to your ma baby

Ronnie: did i look enough like her for you

Joe: what do you reckon

Joe: your theory, not mine

Ronnie: mustve youve still not fucked off

Joe: you’ve got room for another face tat or two

Ronnie: go do that then

Joe: you can leave out the yes sir

Joe: not my fantasy

Ronnie: no shit like youve been my bitch since you hit send on facebook

Joe: 😂

Joe: I’ve been worse

Ronnie: you trying to turn me on or what its a bit late for it

Joe: just the once, alright

Joe: bit cliche but probably for the best considering

Joe: very sensible of you

Ronnie: cliche that my da didnt stick around long enough for his side of the family to properly cut or sew me up so ive gotta regret not getting chance to put a razor blade inside me before you 💔

Ronnie: now youre gonna reckon i care youve said the once ll do when i just hate you & hate how you fuck even more

Joe: Could’ve said it was about as much fun as

Joe: it’s alright

Joe: both confused, clearly

Ronnie: youre not confused youre fucking smug

Joe: hardly another achievement for the fridge door

Joe: what’s to be smug about

Ronnie: probably for the best i dont answer that if thats how you feel

Joe: come on

Joe: aside from proving you were full of shit about not wanting to as well

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: you don’t want me to say how I really feel

Ronnie: making me cum earlier dont mean you know what i want now

Joe: right, you want me to declare my love so you get more out of telling me to fuck off, that’s more like it

Ronnie: do i fuck

Joe: then what do you want

Ronnie: like you give the slightest shit

Joe: I do too

Ronnie: no you dont

Joe: I fucking do

Joe: [prove it in a way only y’all would, carve her name or something]

Ronnie: [send him your own pics of the bite marks you’re covered in which is a self harming thing you’ve not done since you were a kid because it’s been a headfuck every second since you two met and we’re not coping honey]

Joe: you hungry?

Joe: you didn’t eat fuck all, I mean

Joe: could get something not dubiously prepared by Soph

Ronnie: hungry as you are funny

Joe: I weren’t trying to be

Joe: on the spectrum, or whatever you said

Ronnie: you wish you had the excuse or the musical prodigy status

Joe: 💔 about that genuinely

Joe: just a dickhead

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: I don’t know what to say

Joe: there’s no point saying I’m sorry

Ronnie: no point is right youre not sorry

Joe: nah

Joe: it’d be lovely for you if I’d found you and you were fine

Joe: but like you said, it ain’t about me or her, it’s about loads of shit and you clearly weren’t so

Joe: just seems pointless

Ronnie: im made up you finally got your head round it

Joe: Yeah well, I didn’t tell you I was a good person

Joe: don’t mean I don’t give no fucks, just ‘cos I ain’t trying to save you

Ronnie: you keep telling me you aint like it matters to me who you are

Joe: yeah, it doesn’t in why you’re fucked

Joe: but what do you want from me

Ronnie: its your fucking fault im like this climbing the walls same as when i was a kid

Joe: yeah ‘cos you were doing really great before weren’t ya

Ronnie: all you give a fuck about is letting yourself off the fucking hook

Joe: Blame me then what does it change

Joe: do something about it other than fucking yourself up, I don’t care

Ronnie: stop lying that youre bothered if your only answer to me losing my mind is that i was before

Joe: I can’t help you

Joe: If you thought I could, though why the fuck you would

Joe: then I am sorry

Ronnie: 💔🖕

Joe: I’ve got my own problems

Joe: if I had any solutions, I’d light ‘em up and shoot them into myself first, naturally

Ronnie: youve got a solution i gave it to you

Ronnie: why the fuck would you make me feel something

Joe: Selfishness

Joe: pure and simple

Ronnie: on your way to a grown up habit im dead proud

Joe: what more could I want

Ronnie: that to scab over seeing as youve finally admitted its bullshit

Joe: I still think about you constantly

Joe: I still want to know everything about you

Joe: I’d rot with you

Ronnie: youve got your own problems to think about

Joe: yeah, and that’s hell

Joe: I’ve done plenty of that

Ronnie: yeah and youve got your escape

Joe: take yours

Joe: can have plan bs and cs even if a is the best

Ronnie: youre the kid who tells the rest to jump off a bridge

Ronnie: cute

Joe: you’re implying I wouldn’t and all

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what you do but i aint giving you the satisfaction of being the last fuck i ever had

Ronnie: youd cling to life long enough to write a pathetic song about it

Joe: that’s the nicest thing you’ve said

Joe: which is saying something ‘cos you’re so sweet, like

Ronnie: youre welcome

Joe: I’ll do a Dylan style ballad about all your 👼🏼 deeds

Ronnie: thats the biggest turn off out of everything youve ever said or done

Joe: thank god, you’re insatiable 😏

Ronnie: once you said

Joe: not for my benefit

Ronnie: its all only for your benefit remember

Joe: if that were true you’d still be here

Ronnie: if it was true i could be

Joe: come back

Ronnie: cant ive got a face tat to get done

Joe: I understand

Joe: my art isn’t there yet

Joe: won’t ruin your beauty

Ronnie: go ed and chuck yourself off a bridge you dont have to wait for me to boot your door in & do you in for chatting shit

Joe: well I am already devvo I’m not a prodigy so yeah, add lack of a steady hand to the list of failures

Joe: probably the meds

Joe: you know being poetic is all I do, why have we downgraded it to chatting shit 💔

Ronnie: why are you calling me beautiful when you could write it in your suicide note for your ma theres your downgrade

Joe: you’re too romantic for your own good

Joe: I wouldn’t be writing a note, sorry to dash your illusions

Ronnie: not me saying i get you mckenna thats your delusion

Ronnie: what are you gonna draw on me then

Joe: you do but it’s more fun to take the piss and pretend you don’t so

Joe: That is the question

Joe: won’t brand you, don’t worry

Ronnie: if i dont want it ill cut it out no pressure

Joe: it’s just skin right

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: how olds your oldest scar

Ronnie: older than you

Joe: what did you do

Ronnie: i used to take headbanging literally

Joe: ah, the floor never saw you coming, yeah

Joe: I have a head scar too [cos he either does or did on the stalker show idk but there we go with a photo like she probably knows hun]

Ronnie: [I just imagine her smiling to herself like yeah I know nerd]

Ronnie: cant both be poets had to express myself somehow before i pushed a safety pin through my cheek

Joe: that explains the permanent 😾

Joe: fucked the muscles, like

Ronnie: your shit jokes do

Joe: it was always easier to just start fights to get hurt

Joe: when I was a kid

Joe: though you work out ways to be sneaky fast, if you have to

Ronnie: they didnt wanna fight me

Joe: everyday sexism strikes again

Ronnie: fuck off not cos im a girl

Joe: why then

Ronnie: wouldnt be me getting hurt and if i was i didnt care

Ronnie: all those mental problems you told that call centre cunt about like

Joe: ‘course you were too proud to make it count

Joe: have to let them get some punches in or there was no point, yeah

Ronnie: no point in fitz flouncing in either fun though

Joe: true

Joe: I’ve got a brother and all, I remember what it’s like

Ronnie: scraps never went far enough

Joe: yeah

Joe: most kids aren’t that psycho

Ronnie: 💔

Joe: being misunderstood served me so well for the whole musician thing so whatever, I guess

Ronnie: i mightve bothered keeping some of my bastards about if they were guaranteed nutters thatd serve you well

Joe: you’d get your own room then, like

Joe: even if you had to pack them to the rafters

Ronnie: for a stalker youre dead concerned about my privacy

Joe: nah, ‘course not

Joe: I’d rather have a place to do the gear without the possibility of Soph or Charlie 🥺ing at us obvs, nothing but selfishness

Ronnie: theres loads of places

Joe: you can show me

Ronnie: is she there now she can let me in

Joe: no idea

Joe: their room is near the door, makes sense they’d be your first victims

Ronnie: youre too selfish to get off your arse and do it

Joe: if you’re coming I’ll carry you in myself, you know that

Ronnie: ill be there and youll still be going on about what youre gonna do

Ronnie: no wonder the other kids kept smacking you

Joe: yeah, all mouth me, deffo what I was known for

Joe: not a euphemism and I don’t think they were wishing it was but who knows

Ronnie: you sure you dont want charlie giving you the eye

Ronnie: how it sounds

Joe: I’m alright, tah

Joe: pretty sure he’s over it now I’m enabling you

Ronnie: hes over everything thats not horse girls from kent but reckons the fucking lost causes are us

Joe: He clearly just gives a shit about appearances

Joe: looking nice, polite

Joe: they’ll never speak again, like

Ronnie: forget him

Ronnie: open the door

Joe: [do that boy]

Ronnie: [boop his little head scar as you come in like oh there it is]

Joe: [‘s’not even a good story’ and producing some takeaway moment from the kitchen as you go through ‘cos the dinner party was not heavy on the dinner bit]

Ronnie: [a look like ffs because people caring in any way ew no but we are gonna eat it because probably haven't since that Margate moment]

Joe: [shrugging like bitch I’m hungry as we tuck in, obviously]

Ronnie: [kick him while you've still got your big boots on but playfully not aggressively]

Joe: [😏 but in a more genuine way than that cocky face looks, I am vibing Chinese not that that matters but there we go]

Ronnie: [weirdly I also thought that maybe because it's one of the grossest haha but yeah eat your food lads]

Joe: [greasy greasy goodness, love the subtle shade if any of them come out for a cuppa or whatever like oh hello again lol]

Ronnie: [I hope it's oblivious Marc just living his life]

Joe: [that’d be most amusing, unbothered, casually]

Ronnie: [I just imagine them doing stuff to try and make him notice like when people stack stuff on a sleeping person but idk what you could do in that little kitchen]

Joe: [for sure, just being subtly annoying/weird and he is just like does not compute ‘cos we mind our own business, so childish]

Ronnie: [love that for you two]

Joe: [we stan the regression for you]

[jemej3m]

gaming au

headcannons because im lazy but i love this idea

- neil is the same sort of vibe as RTGame, who plays whatever the fuck he wants, screws everything up majorly every time, and loves to roast everyone and everything 

- andrew is callmecarson and his career is literally just fucking with people 

- they’re both mostly streaming on twitch: Neil has no face-cam, whilst andrew does and its just him being completely deadpan and apathetic 

- “person101 has subbed for 3 months!” andrew: looks deadpan into the camera, says “you’re wasting your money”

- kevin and riko used to be fOrtNitE bOiiiis WHERE WE DROPPIN but then kevin didn’t want to play fortnite anymore and riko kicked him out, so he moved in with andrew cuz andrew hates fortnite 

*this was getting too long yikes*

- nicky’s a sims player bless his soul, he loves sims 3 and wont let it go even though it breaks his computer

- dan and matt absolutely obliterate 1st-person shooter games together 

- renee loves story games: life’s strange, detroit: become human, etc 

- allison’s a survival games bitch, loves don’t starve together, hardcore minecraft, but also plays shitty barbie fashion games and nitpicks at the programming 

- i imagine seth as like an angry 12 year old on twitch, that everyone just laughs at for getting aggressive too easy

- aaron plays whatever, mostly riding the mediocre cash inflow for med school and gets popular because of his criticism of surgeon games, but he loves VR (andrew does too) and sometimes he streams instead of andrew until someone notices

- gamers always coordinate into little groups: this bunch have a discord chat together and often collaborate, except andrew, cuz he’s a *lone wolf* (get over urself andrew) 

so how do andrew and neil meet, u wonder? how does neil get initiated into this discord group? where does the nickname foxes come from? where’s wymack in all this? 

- so basically i imagine wymack as a game developer and he’s found this group of gamers who are actually funny and are slowly getting popular, so he reaches out and asks them if they want to try this game out, he’s just getting started with it, what are their opinions?  

- it obviously can’t be everything each of them every dreamed of, but Mission F0X is actually a lit fuckin game with aspects that everyone can enjoy:

- nicky loves making new characters 

- dan and matt fucking ace the shoot outs 

- renee loves the choose-your-destiny aspect, and how you can see the percentage of people who went different routes 

- allison just loves the adorable fox companion 

- seth is pumped for when it’s getting released so he can blow other people up 

- aaron doesn’t care but him and kevin end up finishing all the minigames in two weeks so wymack has to make more because kevin’s getting pissy 

- andrew zones out as soon as anyone mentions fox because he couldn’t care less 

- until 

- this “””””neil josten””””””” streamer plays Mission F0X upon its beta release, and tears into the game. like, brutally. he actually praises it too, but everyone’s distracted by his character, who he’s designed to have eyebrows on his chin and backwards ears and eyes on his forehead because wymack allowed that for some reason, and then he’s able to yeet the fox companion over a cliff but it bounces back, and all this ridiculous, crazy shit

- the foxes (as theyve dubbed themselves) think he’s high-key hilarious. they’re planning to reach out to him, but andrew doesn’t trust a streamer who doesn’t have a face cam, it’s fuckin 2019 bro, wtf

- so he goes onto Neil’s minecraft server, because he has this series, where he goes onto famous streamer’s servers and griefs shit until he gets kicked, because he’s andrew 

except this time, it’s not one of neil’s mods (robin or brian or jack or sheena), it’s neil himself. he’s streaming. they’re both live, looking at each other as a building behind andrew blows up 

- “thats not very nice” 

- “whaddaya gonne do, kick me?” (andrew is like an angsty emo 12 yr old i love him) 

- neil instead says “nah ill let you be a mod”

- everyone’s like ????? he’s griefing your shit, and you’re gonna make him a moderator?

- andrew is also thoroughly confused 

- neil’s popularity, meanwhile, is skyrocketing. everyone wants him to get together with the foxes and play Mission F0X. Wymack has gruffly acknowledged all of the glitches and quirks neil’s criticised and is working to change them. andrew’s a mod on his minecraft server, and sometimes they work together (out of stream) in complete silence (not even on a call, just sometimes private messaging on discord about details or coordinates) as they clean up some shit on neil’s crazy server. they also work super hard on a map room (like RTGame’s server’s crazy fuckin map room holy SHIT goals)

- then all of a sudden andrew announces that he and neil are doing a fuckin mission F0X letsplay together, when he’s openly hated on the foxes’ obsession with Mission F0X, and neil has refused to work with the foxes because he’s scared of his new-found popularity. 

- everyone, once more, is like ????????

- unbeknownst to literally everyone on the planet, they’ve met up. neil explained why he’s avoiding kevin, even if his father’s dead, and he’s technically safe. the moriyamas own his ass and he can’t out himself like that. andrew thinks he’s being ridiculous because he’s never signed a contract and there’s nothing legally binding him to play for riko and moriyama gaming. 

- i just have this scene in my head where andrew has killed neil’s fox companion, carved “u r hot” onto it and chucking it at Neil’s head (who, mind you, is neil’s interpretation of his appearance, but god-knows he’s watered down his hotness because he’s so oblivious and andrew hates him)

- neil just laughs and tells andrew to pick him up at 7. andrew uses half of his health to revive his stupid fox companion, just like neil knew he would.

- andrew’s the only one streaming this episode: they take it in turns. he’s blushing like mad.

- nicky’s yelling THATS GAY and aaron is shaking his head and kevin is still Fuming that neil has refused to work with him but will work (and hook up) with andrew 

- eventually wymack sponsors him to play the prerelease of the Full Game and neil meets up with the rest of the foxes absOLUTELY DEBAUCHED BECAUSE HE HITCHED A RIDE WITH ANDREW AND THEY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT

- and everyones like. yep. okay. this kid managed to wrangle the monster of online gaming, makes him blush on stream and now walks in with their hands entwined like they’ve been dating for years. Respect. 

aaaaaaaaand yea thats all for now gnight

[minimenace]

Felix live thoughts:

i still don’t get why gabriel, who is known to wear his ring, is polishing both his and emilie’s rings

nathalie smiling at gabe aww

WAIT DOES ADRIEN SHIP NATHALIE AND GABE???

WAVE WAVE

its been a year???

cat song from chat blanc

sitting together, bonding time??

gabriel: i need to tell adrien im hawk moth and its for the greater good - the greatest good id ever get - emilie’s ass

adrien: oh dad i know

gabe: wHAT??

adrien: yeah...you and nathalie  👀 im cool

gabe: YOU FUCKER DONT DISGRACE YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT

not that adrien knows his mom is even alive smh

gabe, you can’t expect your son to be all hopeful when there’s nothing he knows of to be hopeful for

gabe: bitch get ready cousin you is coming

1 year since emilie ‘went for cigarettes’

adrien: healing  😌

gabe: 

marinette’s first act as class president: class meeting!!!! (plus luka and kagami) we need to cure adrien of his depression

adrien is hallucinating his mom isn’t he

wait it’s his mom’s twin isn’t it

IT IS

amelie and emilie huh

gabe is not “NO get out”

grouch kitten time!!!

felix getting hugged: bitch...fine ok

so felix and adrien’s favorite game as kids was Parent Confusion huh

gabe: how dare you shake my hand

felix: how dare you not shake my hand

so gabemilie wedding rings were from her family

emilie’s maiden name was NOT agreste...bitch no im DYING with this headcanon

felix whats to know what the FUCK is up with kyle gabriel

marinette...no...do not tell your crush you’re in love with him when you’re trying to console him about his missing mom

ok slightly better

bitch you’re still recording

is this gonna be another copycat where marinette tries to get the phone to delete the message

wait this is LITERALLY another copycat

YES TIKKI GET ANGRY

“I’m really sorry I didn’t come to your dad’s funeral” OH BITCH NOW I GET WHY HE HATES YOU

explains why they’re wearing black

felix with bryce’s voice hits bad

he needs kousei arima...max mittelman...pLAGG

“you do everything your dad tells you to” “oh well yeah you know”

do do do do-dUUHN

adrien and felix used to challenge each other in chess...nerds

plagg: “you’re cousin is being sus BUT HE TOUCHED MY CHEESE THAT UNFORGIVABLE”

plagg: *points out adrien’s mother is* adrien: *gets sad* plagg: oh baby fuck im so sorry

felix i know adrien is complete dumbass but you cannot call him an idiot!!!

wait is felix gonna find out marinette is ladybug because she was recording for so long

wAIT IS FELIX GONNA TRY TO SET UP MARINETTE AND ADRIEN BY DRESSING UP AS ADRIEN AND SEDUCING LADYBUG SINCE MARINETTE IS SUPPOSEDLY LADYBUG

probably not lol

felix fuck you im the only one allowed to make fun of nino’s dudebro accent

felix bby youre not building a good case for yourself by making fun of my babies

also bryce is trying to do a lower voice and he just sounds dudebro

wait is felix gonna rip chloe a new one

YES felix and chloe knew each other

the one time chloe is being genuinely nice for no discernable reason and felix is like “fucker”

well with the season finale we know it doesn’t matter

...annoyinG

FUCK

marinette time bitch lets see what happens im scared

ok thats mean

the writers are trying very hard to make me hate felix but joke’s on them, i’ll never hate anyone on this show

no joke i used to hate theo and call him a pedo and now i’m like “aww poor baby”

wait where is theo i havent seen him around

ok he deleted the videos so immmmmmmmmm hmmm

felix getting ready to cause havoc

ok luka is kind of a joke

*strums guitar* im supportive. this is my personality.

i cant really be mad about felix sending that mean message but adrien deserves to be a feral kitty

fel-ien: i renounce all my friends y’alllll SUCK

me: ...

calls out chloe specifically: NO THATS MEAN but true

marinette: there’s no way adrien can be mean he’s an absolute...aNGEL (how does that meme go)

i mean she has a point because he’d never call chloe out like tHAT

lila spying for gabe seems to be a good thing but im concerned about what gabe will be doing with this video

oh ok they knew it was felix

nathalie: so uh...sir...now’s a good time to um...akumatize some vulnerable kids...

gabe: ok amelie lets see how you feel about THIS akuma attack

gabe getting people to go chase down your “son” is still going to inevitably hurt your son

im fairly certain that max and kim know marinette is ladybug at this point 

*announcer voice* and in the confusion, reflekta, lady wifi, and princess fragrance were deakumatized because they couldn’t figure out who to be mad at

WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE FAKE ADRIEN they all shout. “idk what do you think” says adrien 1 to adrien 2

adrien: *starts acting all mean*

punishers: IT MUST BE HIM

nathalie: STOP IT ADRIEN

punishers: wait who

adrien: muwahauwah i wonder who I could BE AJAHAHAHA

felix: bro why the fuck are you covering for me

nathalie get your grove on

hawkie: bitches Y’ALL THAT FUCK ASS IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU

felix: ha...no?

felix: oh well...KONO FELIX DA- LET’S FIGHT

istg if felix has his own miraculous

ladybug saves fel-ien

fel-ien: i love you

activates “smooch”

marinette: *has flashbacks to spook-drien* uhhh no

felix you’re being very menacing about this kiss

ok... i feel like marinette going “NO MEANS FUCKING NO” is a brownie points moment just the entire structure of the scene...also she has no reason to suspect adrien is not adrien, so the punching is just...intensely weird to me

this also feels like astruc trying to be like “FELIX IS THE OPPOSITE OF ADRIEN WHO IS A PERFECT GENTLEMAN AND RESPECTS WOMEN AND THEIR BOUNDARIES” when like um i dunno, adrien ALSO tries to kiss women (ladybug) without their consent but those moments are always treated as comedy so you’re not being very slick with this scene

side note; idk why when a male morally dark end character gets into a fight or something with a girl very one goes “THAT’S SEXIST”, like basically what you’re saying is “you can’t hit girls” which in itself IS sexist. everyone can be punched. don’t fucking hold back.

side note; you shouldn’t punch ANYONE

“You’re not Adrien, he would never be so pushy!” *looks at chat noir* uhhh....

i mean good deduction skills tho? i still think it’s pretty hastily and badly written

adrien is fucking OUTING his cousin lmao

i feel like there was pre-existing tension

felix: is actually ashamed for once

FELIX VISION

lb: great!!! now break the tablet felix: bitch this is some good fucking money i aint breaking it

felix and lila are the moth gang

hawk moth: why felix: uncle give me your fucking jewelry

felix: manipulate the situation...and profit

that has got to be the GREATEST defeat ever...truly lucky

felix looks like he thinks that he’s going to jail

adrien: dude wtf amelie: ...his dad- felix: no dude that was pretty fucked up, ill own up to it

“i hope to become a better person and see you again soon!” this was one concentrated bad incident but yeah ok

FELIX GOING FOR THE HUG

the tone is making me think this is supposed to be inauthentic and he doesn’t mean it but im hoping this isn’t the case.

but if it is genuine, it sounds like there’s a tacked on “learn to be better- from you” which like, yeah adrien is better than felix we get it but you don’t need to emphasis adrien as a model dude when he’s like tier 1 good guy. he’s decent. lmao.

wait felix has always been wearing a ring i didn’t notice

awww felix and gabriel made up.

wait

what even happened between them to begin with.

huh

adrien: aw sHIT CUZ WAIT gabe: nO DAVIC

adrien: if you need to talk in here felix: thanks

astruc: see he’s morally superior

did felix just gift adrien some expensive cheese lmao

felix: hey i feel bad, i replaced your cheese

adrien : *records message to thank everyone and says “i love you”* marinette: *obsessively plays back the “i love you”*

marinette: ill take what i can get

FELIX DID YOU UST FUCKING STEAL THIS MAN’S WEDDING RING I MEAN I KNOW HES MORALLY QUESTIONABLE IF NOT DESPICABLE BUT YOU’RE NOT MUCH BETTER YOU KNOW

so felix really is a magician huh

i feel like him and jean duparc would get along

oh so there’s history behind the rings?

“where it belongs” everyone hates gabe huh. wuh happened

gabe why are you taking your wife’s ring

it’s like he needs that thing to function

the ring: why you so obsessed with me

is it like an anti-nathalie charm or something

gabe: bitch get it together yOU’RE MARRIED, YOU’RE WIFE IS DOWNSTAIRS

the beef is, probably like all things, related to the miraculous

HAPPY END OF THE SEASON!!!!!!

[shijiujun]

history3 ep 19 summary - GEMS, GEMS AND MORE GEMS, EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED

ALRIGHT! Summary today! You guys already know all the important gems of the story because I’ve been fucking yelling all night I apologise sincerely for the spam guys I truly do I know how annoying it can be but I’m so excited!!!!

We start off with TY already in fucking handcuffs and Zhao Zi standing there all hovering against the wall, and TY is obviously regretful as hell and so remorseful and also once again catatonic because his SF is in the hospital again because of him, and this time DIRECTLY BECAUSE OF HIM - although i’m super curious, in between everything when did TY have time to call zz? you know?!!! and zz turns up and he’s like OHHHH FUCKKKK and: “okay guys, one of you take ah zhi, and hi tang yi, sorry gotta handcuff ya, oops”

OMG MY HANDSOME DR JIANG IS BACK!!! he’s such a sassy little bitch i love it so much!! anw he comes out and his face is like ‘guys can’t you just give me a fucking break’ and then zz takes one good look and goes: “i’ll leave you both to talk”

dr jiang says: “you look worse than the guy who was actually shot, in there” and then sits down next to TY

ty asks how he is and LMAO dr jiang is all like: “how else can he be?! he’s awake and asking for HIS MAN (like literally, dr jiang said HIS MAN) and lol i just died (more gems from dr jiang: i think that police officer, his brain is sick, only then he’ll actually want to be with you) - anw basically dr jiang is telling TY that with TY being so adamant on revenge, it’s only SF that’s willing to be with him, and if TY continues to be like this, the only person who’ll get hurt is SF

AND DR JIANG STANDS UP TO TAKE A CALL AND HE IS FACE TIMING THE BROTHER OF THE EX-WIFE FROM RIGHT OR WRONG?!! CUTE AS HELL - IS THIS A HINT? I LOVE CROSS OVERS

then TY goes inside the room and that’s when he hears the beeping - the emergency patient beep? and that’s when we see TY scrambling over like a little chick in panic because he’s afraid SF is dead, and then he’s just shaking SF and SF is not responsive at all?! and then poor TY is about to do CPR (although yea TY babe maybe you might have wanted to call dr jiang or smth?!!!!) and that’s when shao fei goes: “if you worry about me, then don’t let me die”

FIRSTLY - SHITTY JOKE BECAUSE TY WAS ABOUT TO CRY HE WAS SNIFFLING ALR SHAO FEI!!!

SECONDLY - TY YOU SHOT HIM, SO OKAY, FINE, SF IS ENTITLED TO A JOKE OR TWO

omg it’s so tender and sweet the way SF grabs TY to sit down and then leaning his cheek against his shoulder and trying to convince ty that killing ah zhi is a bad idea you know?

and then ty stands up, walks away dramatically, and then promises sf that he’ll hand He hand and ah zhi over to the police

AND THAT’S WHY SF IS SO TOUCHED AND THEN HE JUST MOVES FOR THE KISS BECAUSE HE IS SO THANKFUL AND HE LOVES TY

and then OMFUCKINGGOD - HANDCUFFS + KISS IS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN I LOVE THE WAY HE JUST, HE JUST-

TY LITERALLY JUST BROUGHT HIM CLOSER

SEXY!!!! YOU GO TANG YI

and then if you’ve seen my gifs alr, zz cockblocks them and turns up and goes: “i gotta take him”

ahahahah and then cue to emo team 3 scene and I FEEL YOU YU QI I FEEL YOU she’s like a metaphor for the fandom right now: anw zhao zi, jun wei and yu qi are there and they’re all drinking and yu qi is literally just sobbing about how the team is only left with them, and zz and yq are angry at chief and ah zhi for being corrupt basically

zz drinks and drinks (jun wei, responsible member of the party), and then he is a bit tipsy and walks home, and then he comes to this stairs area where jack is waiting (JACK DO YOU GOT SOME GPS ON ZZ?!) and jack looks at him carefully and goes: “you’ve been drinking? you’re not happy?”

poor zz is all: “of course not! i’m happy. i found out that when ppl have motives, they actually have another face, a facade - just based on this, i should celebrate, no?” /CUE MY HEART BREAKING

so zz is saying that he became a policemen because he wanted to do good things, to protect people, but look at chief and ah zhi?! 

and then they kinda sit down on the stairs, and jack says: “i’m here to tell you that i have to go” and then that’s when zz says all those words that we heard in the trailer? (so i think they overlayed this angsty dialogue with the footage from tmr where zz shrugs off jack’s hand on him as they go home)

and zz is all why do you all have to go? everyone is leaving me - grandma, chief, ah zhi, and now you? and then he’s totally tearing up and OMG MY SMOL BEAN?!!!! - yeah he’s all that and then jack asks: “if you tell me not to go, i’ll stay for you”

OMGAHHH?!!!

so zz says: “don’t go”

AND THEN THEY KISS?!!!! AND THEN THEY KISS AND HUG AND CARESS AND WE END OFF THE SCENE WITH ZZ curling up against jack’s shoulder I LOVE IT!!!!

next scene is police chief - okay can i pls say that, for someone who’s actually a criminal albeit treated with some leniency because he owned up to his crimes, THAT IS A FUCKING NICE PRISONER’S ROOM?!!! like wow, taiwan police system, amazing

anw shao fei turns up IN THE FUCKING DAPPER SUIT?!!! altho i would prefer him in a single coloured suit, he should leave those lines and patterns to TY, also WHERE IS MY TY DROOLING OVER SF IN A SUIT SCENE?!! WHERE?! WHY DID U ROB ME OF THAT?!!!!

also that bow tie is damn fucking big is it just me

anw so xiao ya got married, and SF took a long video for chief to see, and chief is crying and everything (okay srsly if i knew my dad was a criminal and everything and was about to see jail time i would have cancelled the wedding because NOOOO DAD!!! but that’s just me) - also xiao ya and shao fei sibling-ish moments?!!! WHERE ARE THESE?!

anw sf and chief have a heart to heart talk, and that’s when chief says: “ah fei, actually, i hated you.”

CUE SF’S DISTRAUGHT FACE>?!!!!

and chief explains that it’s because he was so persistent, when everyone had dropped it he insisted on going after tang yi and then shao fei says: “but lao da, you didn’t stop me either”

lao da: “yeah, i didn’t”

sf: “and that’s because, even though you chose to be a father to xiao ya with your decision, you didn’t give up being a policeman, even with what you did. that’s why you didn’t stop me”

and awwww chief cries and sf sits next to him and they just comfort each other I LIVE FOR THIS SHIT!!!

(although guys, srsly, what is with this long time skips? what’s going on? what day is it? what time is it?!!!)

next scene back at the police station, the rest of team 3 are clearing up ah zhi and chief’s stuff, and they all look miserable as fuck, and then GOOD AND SUPPORTIVE GIRL YU QI asks sf about how tang yi is, and here we find out tang yi is under house arrest pending the investigation results. yu qi asks, what if he goes to jail?

sf looks so sad at that but he says: “i’ll wait for him”

and then zz runs in and asks everyone if they’ve heard of the new hire, for the captain position? AND ISTG I THINK THIS MAY BE JACK?!!!!

next scene, our boy sf is meeting up upstanding citizen, recently turned dad CWH, and wow the sunlight on them, the lack of a shady setting and hair all styled nicely does a lot of things for a person HAHAHAHAHA - SF carefully calls him ‘uncle’ and then they talk about li zhen, and CWH has only praise for SF, that when everyone had written LZ off as a dirty cop only sf was clearing her name - THE IN LAW IS IMPRESSED GUYS!!! and then they get to talking about tang yi, and CWH is all self-pitying and dejected: “i just found my son but... i guess he and i, we can’t ever have a proper father and son relationship, can we?”

AWWWWW and this is when THERAPIST!SHAOFEI comes in, istg he’s been comforting everyone and solving everyone’s problems, amazing - he says something along the lines of: “ty needs a lot of love, so don’t give up”

and just from that line alone cwh knows that: “so you... and ty... are..?”

AHAHAHAHAHA IM DYING - and then SF gets all determined and says: “yeah we’re together”

cwh: LAUGHS “i’ve got no place to say anything, thank you for being by his side” - WOOHOOOOO CWH APPROVES OF HIS DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AMAZING

and then they fucking hug

oh god, this is one of the best hugs of the damn show

i swear to god, the best hug goes to cwh-sf, can you frickin imagine?!!!!! the tight, comforting hug?!!! do you know that?! that’s all i ever wanted from my CPs?!!!! but no we get it between father in law and son in law WHY!!! i mean it was really great i loved it but GOOD HUGS ARE SOMETIMES BETTER THAN SEX

BACK TO OMELETTE SCENE - so obviously even tho ty is under house arrest, sf has free pass to go in and out of the house, and they’re so sweet with one another

ty: “why did you go and bother with that old man?!”

and sf is all trying to mend the relationship between them, to remind ty that it’s okay to take ur time, but you’ve got a second chance (or third, actually), so you may regret it if you miss this opp. - and tang yi considers this, then changes the subject over food AS ALWAYS

the “I LOVE YOU” part comes up (pls see gifs) - and they’re all so sweet with each other?!!!! and just as sf is about to go in for more, ty is like “hey, don’t mess around, we gotta do our omelettes first” AND SHAO FEI HONESTLY JUST POUTS!!!! I FEEL YA SF 

and okay is it just me or do the omelettes look not so nice - the right side one especially AAHAHAHAHAHA and they banter over putting the ‘dead face’ on the omelette and sf is all: “i’ve taught you so many times!!! there must be a smile!!! why did you put that?!!” AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

and then we get the next scene, OKAY SO THIS IS THE PART WHERE I WAS LIKE WTF WRITERS DID U GUYS REALLY GO THERE?!!!

FIRSTLY, THEY BLURRED THE COMIC ZZ IS READING ON HIS BED 

SECONDLY, HIS HAND ACTION? ARE U KIDDING ME?

SO HE’S BASICALLY READING WEIRD STUFF AND LIKE jerking himself off?!!!!!!!! like okay writers, we could have done without this scene, srsly, i mean either you do it entirely OR YOU DONT - IN THIS CASE I PREFERRED - DON’T!!!!!

EDIT: OKAY SO HE WASN’T - went back to look at the shot after and yes i was blind - but they really were setting it up for that!!! come on so suggestive that under blanket hand movement?!!!! i’m glad it wasn’t but OMG MY EYES for a moment i wanted to die but our zz is pure and he wasn’t touching anything weird sorry guys bad eyesight

then jack turns up at his house with a bag (that LOOKS DAMN LIGHT?! JACK WTF WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES DID U TURN UP WITH AN EMPTY BAG?!) 

so jack basically moves himself in - amazing

OHANA GUYS OHANA MEANS NO ONE GETS LEFT BEHIND!!!!

and they kiss, and jack bend zz backwards on the table (hygiene, but then again, jack will clean up anyway)

QUESTIONS:

would have love to find out more about LZ and TGD and wtf was going on properly - it’s hinted at but LOOPHOLES GALORE

ALL THE SCENES I WANTED ARE OUT - WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENIGN TMR?!

omg today was 35 min, and i fricking pray that tmr at least will be 15-20 min LIKE IF U END IT IN 5 MINUTES, we’re all gonna die, then i prefer if we’ve shifted scenes from today to tomorrow

although i have some hope because they’ve got to resolve still, jack and zz, and then ty’s ‘sentence’ if there is, and then grave scene and then the sex scenes if we do get them as promised, idc if we get them or not AS LONG AS WE GET AT LEAST 15-20 MIN WORTH OF CONTENT TOMORROW!!

[archiefm]

         ... claws my way up from hell once more and vomits onto the dash.... hello. its nora. i used to write rory bergstrom, but if u were here before that u might remember me as greta or alma putnam or..... som1 else.... an endless carousel of trash children..... this is finn, who i actually wrote for an early version of this rp abt 5yrs back now...... grits teeth..... so forgive me if im rusty i havent written him in a long time but seein honey boy gave me a lotta finn muse n im keen to get Back On The Horse yeehaww...

DYLAN O’BRIEN / CIS-MALE — don’t look now, but is that finn o’callaghan i see? the 25 year old criminology and forensic studies student is in their graduate year of study year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be judicious, adroit, morose and cynical, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he will make a name for themselves living off-campus. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her )

shakes my tin can a humble pinterest, ma’am....

finn has a bio pasted at the bottom (n written in like.... 2015.... gross) but it’s long  so if u don’t wanna read it here’s the sparknotes summary..... anyway this was written years ago n a lot of it seems really cliche and lame now but..... we accept the trash we think we deserve

grumpy, ugly sweater wearing, tech-savvy grandpa

very dry sense of humour and embraces nihilism. 

if ron swanson and april ludgate had a baby it would be finn

he was raised in derry, just south of dublin.

from a big family. elder sister called sinead. he also has a younger sister (aoife), a younger brother (colm), and a collie named lassie because his father lovs cliches (finn hates cliches but loves his dog). 

his father was a pub landlord and his mother worked at the market sellin fruit n veg when they met but got a job as a medical receptionist when she had kids cos it meant she cld be there with them in the day and work nights.

his parents met when they were p young and fiesty and rushed into marriage cos they were catholic n just wanted to have sex. his family were literally dirt-poor, but they had a lot of love i guess

hmmmmm his relationship w his father wasn’t the best cos i can’t write character who have healthy relationships w their parents throws up a peace sign. yh, had a pretty emotionally distant, alcoholic violent father n so gets a lot of his bad habits i.e. drinking as a coping mechanism and poor anger management from him BUT anyway

as a kid he was never very motivated in class, he always had a nervous itch to be off somewhere doing something else. struggled under government austerity bcso there just wasn’t the resources to support low income families where the kids had learning difficulties n needed support. fuck the tories am i right 

his mum suggested he try sports to help w his restless energy but he was never any good at football so he took up boxing and tap dance instead. he took to tap dancing like a fish to fuckin water. as adhd n found this as a really good way to use his excess energy in a creative way

had a few run ins with the police in his early teens for spray painting and graffiti, but he straightened himself out n now actually considering becoming a detective inspector??? cops are pigs.

he had a youtube channel where he posted videos of him tapdancing and breakdancing as a kid, basically would be a tiktok boy nowadays, n had like... a small fanbase in his early teens. attended several open auditions unsuccessfully, until he was finally cast in billy eliot when he was fifteen.

during billy eliot he began dating an italian dancer called nina. they became dance partners soon after and toured across the republic with various different shows (inc riverdance lol the classic irish stereotype). their relationship was p toxic tbh, they were both very hot tempered people and just used to argue and fight all the time.

he went semi-pro at tap dancing, and nina couldn’t stand being second best so she moved back to italy with her family. ignored his texts, phone calls, etc, eventually he was driven to the point where he used his savings to buy a plane ticket, showed up at her house and she was like wtf?? freaked out and filed a restraining order accusing him of stalking.

he was fined for harassment and then returned home to derry, but after the incident with nina he quit dancing for good and finished his leaving cert before heading to university in the US to get as far away from nina and his past life as poss. and basically since he quit dancing to study forensics (death kink. finn cant get enough of that morgue. just walks around sayin beat u) he’s become a massive grump and jsut doesn’t see the good in people any more.

u’ll find finn in an old man bar drinking whiskey bc he is in fact an old man at heart or sat on his roof smoking a joint, drawing wolves and lions and skeletons and shit, playing call of duty or getting blazed or at the corner of the room in a house party ignoring everyone and scrolling through twitter. is a massive e-boy. always up-to-date on memes and internet slang. has reddit as an app on his phone

not very good at communication. rather than solve his issues by talking, he’d prefer to just solve them through fighting or running away from his problems hence why he has come halfway across the world to get away from an issue which probs cld have been solved w a few apology emails.

takes a lot to phase him, but when his beserk button gets pressed he can become a bit pugnacious like an angry lil rottweiler. in his undergrad he was in a few fist fights but doesn’t really do tht any more as he doesn’t condone violence.

 in the previous version of this rp he was hospitalised like 5 times. pls, give my son a break. stop tryin to kill him. he literaly got a bottle smashed over his head and bled out all over his favourite angora rug that was the only light of his life

works at the campus coffee shop n always whines about how he’s a slave to capitalism. always smells of coffee

lives off campus with an elderly woman named Marianne, and basically gets reduced rent bcos he makes her dinner / keeps her company. they have a great bond

fan of karl marx. v big on socialism

insomniac with chronic nosebleeds

cynical about everything. too much of a fight club character 4 his own good n has his head up tyler durden’s sphincter

always confused or annoyed

statistics

basic information

full name: finnegan seamus o'callaghan nickname(s): finn age: 25 astrological sign: aries hometown: derry, ireland occupation: phd student / former street entertainer fatal flaw: cynicism positives: self-reliant, street smart, relaxed, intelligent, spontaneous, brave, independent, reliable, trustworthy, loyal. negatives: hostile, impulsive, stubborn, brooding, pugnacious, untrusting, cynical, enigmatic, reserved.

physical

colouring: medium hair colour: dark brown, almost black eye colour: brown height: 5’9” weight: 69kg build: tall, athletic voice: subtle irish accent, low, smooth. dominant hand: left scar(s): one on the left side of his ribs from a knife wound that he doesn’t remember getting cos he was drunk distinguishing marks: freckles, tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon allergies: pollen and the full spectrum of human emotion alcohol tolerance: high drunken behaviour: he becomes friendlier, far more conversational than when sober, flirtier, and generally more self-confident.

psychological

dreams/goals: self-fulfilment, travel the globe, experience life in its most alive and technicoloured version, make documentary films, help the vulnerable in society, grow as a human being.

skills: jack-of-all-trades, very fast runner, good at thieving things, talented tap dancer, good in crisis situations, dab-hand at mechanics, musically-intelligent, can throw a mean right hook and very capable of defending himself, can roll a cigarette, memorises quotes and passages of literature with ease, can light a match with his teeth.

likes: the smell of the earth after rain, poetry, cigarettes, shakespeare, whiskey, tattoos, travelling, ac/dc, deep conversations, leather jackets, open spaces, the smell of petrol, early noughties ‘emo phase’ anthems.

dislikes:  the government, parties, rules, donald trump, children, apple products, weddings, people in general, small talk, dependency, loneliness, pop music, public transport, justin timberlake, uncertainty.fears: fear itself, drowning alignment: true neutral mbti: istp – “while their mechanical tendencies can make them appear simple at a glance, istps are actually quite enigmatic. friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, istp personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. istps can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but they tend to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking their interests in bold new directions.” (via 16personalities.com)

full bio (lame as fuck written years ago..... pleathe...)

tw homophobia

born in quigley’s pub on the backstreets of sunny dublin, young finnegan o'callaghan was thrown kicking and screaming into the rowdy suburbs of irish drinking culture. the son of a landlord and a fishwife, he never had much in the way of earnings, but there was never a dull moment in his lively estate, where asbo’s thrived, but community spirit conquered. at school, finn was pegged as lazy and unmotivated, though truly his dyslexia made it hard for the boy to learn in the same environment of his peers and only made him more closed-off in class. struggling with anger management, finn moved from school to school, unable to fit the cookie-cutter mould that school enforced on him, though whilst academic studies were of little interest to the boy, he soon found his true passions lay in recreational activities. immersed into the joys of sport from as young as four, finn was an ardent munster fan and anticipated nothing more than the day he could finally fit into his brother’s old pair of rugby boots.

his calling finally came unexpectedly, not in the form of rugger, but through dance. to learn to express himself in a non-academic way, he began tap dancing, finding therapy in the beat of his soles against the cracked kitchen tiles (much to his mother’s disgrace). it wasn’t a conscious choice, finn just realised one day that dance was something that made him feel. a king of the streets, finn made his fortune on those cobbled pavements – dancing and drawing to earn his keep. by default, finn became a street artist, each penny he earned from his chalk drawings saved in a jam jar towards buying his first pair of tap shoes. though many of his less-than-amiable neighbours called him a nancy and a gaybo, finn refused to quit at his somewhat ‘unconventional’ hobby, for the young scrapper found energy, life, and released anger through the rhythm of tap. soon he branched out into street dance, hip hop, break dancing, lyrical, his days spent smacking his scuffed feet against the broken patio into the night.

when he was thirteen he took up boxing, and as expected, his newfound ‘macho’ pastime conflicted with his dancing. the boxers called him ‘soft’; the dancers called him ‘inelegant’. he felt like two different people; having to choose between interests was like being handed a knife and asked to which half of himself he wished to cut away. he couldn’t afford professional training in dance, with most schools based in england and limited scholarships available. instead, he made the street his studio, racking up a small fanbase on youtube. when he was fifteen he made his debut in billy eliot at the olympia theatre in dublin. enter nina de souza, talented, beautiful and italian; ballet dancer, operatic singer, genius whiz kid, and spoiled brat. she was selfish, conceited, hell bent on getting her own way, and every director’s nightmare. finn fell for her like a house of cards. he’d always had a soft spot for girls who meant trouble. and so their hellish courtship began.

by the time they were seventeen, the two young swans had danced in every playhouse across the republic. they were known in theatres across the country for their tempestuous personalities, their raging arguments with one another, their tendency to drop out of shows altogether without any notice, yet the money kept rolling in and the audiences continued to grow. for three years, their families continued to put up with their hysterical fights followed by passionate reconciliations. he was too possessive, and she was too wild. their carcrash of a relationship finally came to a catastrophic halt when nina broke off the whole affair and returned to italy with her family. for months finn tried to contact her, yet his phone calls, texts, facebook messages were always ignored, until finally he was driven to drastic measures and used his savings to get a plane to her home town. when finn turned up uninvited at nina’s house she freaked out – and rightly so – she contacted her agent, accused him of stalking her, and had a restraining order placed against him. finn was arrested, held in a station overnight, and charged with harassment before he was allowed to return to dublin.

after the incident with nina, finn lost the fight in his eyes. he became far more hostile, far less likely to retaliate with his own fists, and picked fights not for the thrill of feeling his own fists pummel another into a wall, but for the sensation of his own brittle bones cracking. he dropped his tap shoes in a dumpster, stopped talking to his friends, followed his father’s advice and went back to school to complete his leaving certificate. a few short months later, and finn was packing his bags, saying his bittersweet goodbyes, and travelling half-way across the globe to be as far away as possible from his past self, his mess of a life, and most of all nina. it seemed somehow ironic that the boy who had been cautioned by the garda so much during his youth for spray painting, busking without a liscence, and raucous parties would become the grumpy, aloof overseas student studying a degree in criminology; that his once reckless spirit could be crushed so easily. 

of all things that finn could be called, straightforward would never be one of them. ever since his first days in atticus, the boy was pegged as hostile, hot-headed, cynical, rude. he seemed to spend more time in his thoughts than engaging in conversation. like a ticking time-bomb, finn’s anger was of the calm kind, liable to explode without a moment’s noticed. his unpredictable personality make him something of an enigma to those who aren’t amiable with the lad, though hostile as he may appear, he harvests a good heart. loyalty lies at the centre of his affections, and whilst his friends are few in number, he makes a lifelong partner. somewhere within finn, there’s still some fight left, but mostly he has recognised that his hedonistic lifestyle did little to leave him fulfilled – mostly, it just emptied him out – and over his three years at university has resigned himself to a nihilistic predicament.

        if u wanna plot with me pls pls pls im me or like this post!! i am always game for plots i love em so excited to write with you all here r some ideas

study buddies. finn is now a phd student so has to start takin shit seriously. he gon be in the library every day doing that independent study. if he had ppl who were also regular library goers n they get each other coffees to save time.... tht wld be sweet

ppl who love techno dj sets and going super hard on the weekends!!! fuck yea

friends with benefits. exes on bad terms. ppl he tried to date but couldnt because he’s always emotionally hung up on someone else. spicy hook up plots

ppl he met touring?? maybe ppl who were also in the entertainment industry..... anyone got a character who is ex circus hit me up

does anyone else study criminology / forensics / criminal psych / law? phd students sometimes lecture so he cld be an assistant lecturer / tutor if ur character is in a younger year

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

finn goes to the skatepark and all the young boys there think he’s a gradnpa which he is!