#im literally shaking and crying LOL

[pawzunyan]

im so fucking tired of fandom spaces being morality contessts.

[nomairuins]

i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

[todayisafridaynight]

haunted by the knowledge that sega loves referencing their franchises and how many missed opportunities there were for kiryu to meet sonic the hedgehog

[kinglypup]

FWB IS FLIRTING WITH ME

[heatobrienswife]

.

[shidoukanae]

Paris Valerian but i redesign his dragon form for funsies based on how i see him=. Not sure if I like this design bc im not a fan of bulkier looking dragons but for Paris I think this works??

Some headcanons about this design:

has a bit of a bull-like look bc I associate bulls with persistence and madness and idk that fits Paris well so if Fian has a “fox” motif Paris gets a “bull” one for his dragon form 

His design is based a lot on how a stereotypically evil dragon would look???? Because imo OG!Paris reads as a massive antagonist and I think giving him a look that fits that vibe in his dragon form works!! Especially because he still is an antagonist in a way (though god does he not read that way lmao)

he’s stronger in his dragon form than Fian is and he uses this to his advantage to bully Fian around whenever they playfight as dragons. That said, it seems Paris is surprisingly gentle towards Fian in this form and never hurts him.

he uses this form to intimidate people into getting what he wants. He’s not used to getting retaliated against while in this form and quickly respects anyone who does so (read: Fian, Lyla and Helene)

the silver scales on his body can glow in the same way his eyes do. Typically, he keeps them dull-colored (see above) but if he feels a strong emotion of any sorts they’ll glow brightly without him meaning to (noticeably: they glow constantly whenever Helene is around for obvious reasons~).

[jamesbukkakebarnes]

🤭

[sol-flo]

wrote my resignation email to send first thing tuesday morning. debating whether or not to keep the line "paramedic isn't my vocation" (about being 'urgently' called to office). think i'll take it out i don't wanna be too petty and passive aggressive while complaining about my boss being petty and passive aggressive. non violent communication win !

[florida3exclamationpoints]

.

[neuvitopia]

➠ Fed Up - G. SUGURU | 夏油傑 𓈒 ݁ ₊

fanart by kyulgo_ on twt

warnings ;; bf suguru geto x reader NSFW!!!, afab reader, no prns other than you, mentions of reader wearing a skirt, edging, fingering, pussy slap (only once), brat taming? geto's tired of ur bratty attitude lol im bad at this soz ➜ wc: 704.

࣪⤿ ᩠͡✎̈ ⁺ : I'M LITERALLY NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS MAN HOLY CRAP.

Geto has always been so patient with you. Ever the doting boyfriend, sweet enough to induce cavities, his touches so gentle, almost as though you'd break if he added too much pressure. dealing with your bratty attitude with a smile and a soft kiss on the lips, a simple "knock it off" in return, letting your teasing off with a shrug of his shoulders. Patience with you is always as easy as breathing.

So you're not really sure what finally snapped in that pretty head of his to lead you to your current predicament. Your legs spread on the bed as he mercilessly teases your swollen pussy. your back to his chest as he watches the cute faces you make in the mirror in front of you two.

Maybe it was the tiny skirt that hardly left anything to the imagination, or maybe it was the lack of your usual cotton panties under said skirt, but most likely it was how you rubbed your bare cunt onto his dark pants when he allowed you to sit on his lap. A low "don't start." leaves his lips in warning. A warning you, of course, don't listen to. You're not too sure if you regret it, the feeling of his fingers pumping in and out of your cunt and circling your clit felt heavenly but not being able to cum had you on the brink of crying and yelling at him, your frustration running deep.

Dirty words fall from his lips as he brings you to the edge of tipping, just to deny you your release again and again, the pretty rings on his finger drowned by how wet you currently are. His pretty lips twist into a smile as fat tears well in the corner of your eyes. the soft brush of his hand across your teary eyes, contrasting the mean rubs of your cunt and teeth biting down into your skin as you beg him to let you cum, bucking your hips in hopes of getting more friction on your desperate clit.

He pinches your nipples with his free hand and bites harder on your skin as a warning to stop chasing more friction. "I spoil you too much," he whispers into the nape of your neck, the fingers inside of your cunt pick up their brutal pace, the sweat on your skin building. "I have to teach you brats don't always get what they want." He quickly pulls his fingers from in your sopping cunt and delivers a slap to your pussy with those words. A loud whine from your lips and a twitch of your body has him chuckling behind you.

He takes a second to stare at your exhausted state in the shiny mirror, admiring the wreck he'd made out of you, still telling you how absolutely gorgeous you looked even with your now messy makeup. he coos sweet words into your ear when hot tears begin to freely spill from your eyes. "you're so pretty", "don't cry baby", "why are you crying? doesn't it feel good?", "you must be so tired." he'd baby you as one of his hands squeezes at one of your erected nipples.

Bending his head slightly to look down at you from his position behind you, his hair tickling your skin he'd bring his fingers coated in your wetness to your lips telling you to suck, groaning lowly from the feeling of your tongue run across his fingers, his cock stirring below you. He'd finally let his other hand sneak back to your wetness after you coat his fingers in your spit.

You don't remember when exactly he slipped two fingers in your sopping hole, but you instantly react when his fingers thrust out and in again, your back arching off of his chest, desperate moans leaving your mouth. "Please" and "I'm sorry," along with his name, leave your shaky body wanting nothing but to experience the white hot pleasure your boyfriend never failed to deliver.

He simply shakes his head with a cute smile on his despairingly pretty face, as if his fingers weren't digging into you, and creating the most lewd sounds known to man. "Next time, don't be so desperate for a reaction."

໋ © TORUSMUSE 2024

[writingstoraes]

lover 🪻

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!singer!reader

type: instagram imagine, social media au

notes: this is another thing i thought of knowing i have hundreds of unattended drafts lolol lmk what u think! this is like very similar to something i've posted before but only w a slightly different ending... hehe also am using mother taylor's lyrics cause they're just too good

about: you and charles seem to be really quiet, it's either one of two things — you're over or you're about to release a masterpiece that shatters all break up rumors.

wagsoff1

liked by wannabewag, norrisfan, hamilec, and 25,439 others

wagsoff1 It has been 100 days since Y/N was seen in the paddock. Her last appearance was during the 2023 Australian GP. Any thoughts? 👀

leclercsainz yeah honestly the two of them have been really quiet lately... i'm scared

ynfan this is such a reach? 😬

lecsyn4eva are we forgetting that y/n has her own career, a pretty successful one at that, it's normal for her to not be at races at times?

wagsoff1 Hmm yeah but she's missed a ton of races, apparently rumors are only ever growing that they might be over... lecsyn4eva maybe we stop sticking our noses where it doesn't belong ���

queenyn MOTHER WE MISS YOU pls come back

sainzstappen Classic pattern of broken up F1 couples lol miss a few races then suddenly statements are out 😆

popgirlstm stop i will literally jump off a bridge

yourusername

liked by zendaya, florencepugh, landonorris, and 2,340,923 others

yourusername At every table, I'll save you a seat.

My 3rd full-length album, Lover, is out tomorrow at 12 EST. Sorry for the surprise but see you at the premiere ❤️

lecsyn BITCH THIS IS WHY YOUVE BEEN QUIET

mothertay miss mam we havent heard from you in months how can you drop a bomb like this so casually

norrislaren IM CRYING I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING

midnightshouse y/n i need to know if i can shake my ass to this album or i will be destroying ice cream pints with tears on my face

ynalbums Judging from the title... it sounds like it's more on the romance side? gucciluv oh my god there's hope for charles and her after all 🙏

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari, and 1,295,294 others

charles_leclerc My lover.

Beyond excited for your album, amour. Thanks for letting me be a part of it 🤍

lecsyncharles CROWD CHEERS OH MY GOD

hamilstappen im crying they broke the streak they're alive! WAR IS OVER

charlierari part of it... y/n ft. charles????

carlossainz55 Hey this counts as your musical debut? 😆

charles_leclerc I didn't sing... carlossainz55 Yeah you shouldnt c2lovers FUCK??ABSHBHWWH

landonorris Can't believe people thought you broke up you literally won't shut up about how you're in Silverstone and she's in LA

pierregasly Don't forget the calling Y/N every 10 seconds charles_leclerc ??? Please shut up

Now Playing: Lover (Music Video) - The Dedication

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, landonorris, lorenzotl, and 2,109,294 others

charles_leclerc My forever lover.

tagged: yourusername

landonorris Will you save me a seat at every table?

yourusername Have my song memorized already, I see 😆 landonorris You know it!

lewishamilton Congratulations, Y/N and Charles! 🥂

danielricciardo I call taking most of the pictures 🙏

landonorris No???

ynlecs16 this is such a fucking surprise the two of you need to cool it down i'm hyperventilating

scuderiaferrari Best wishes to our favorite couple ❤️

yourusername Wait, I thought we broke up?

charles_leclerc Negative. You're stuck with me forever now 😘

---------

tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy

notes: taylor has got me wishing i was currently in love this is sick! anyway i only got this idea bc my tiktok fyp is swarmed with charles daylight edits and they are right he is so golden <33

[meowjunjun]

Sub virgin degradee Felix drabble <3

I haven’t written in so long… this is gonna be so bad but I literally cannot get the thought of this out of my head 🫠. Still send me asks though LOL

Includes: afab reader, small cock felix, degradation, felix is a virgin, slight overstimulation, mommy kink, felix doesn’t last long

—————————————————-

I seriously can’t get the thought of virgin Felix having a small dick out of my head. It’s so cute and little, and always hard. He’s such a loser, can’t help but get an erection when he’s near you. Your scent, your striking looks, your seductive voice. He’s so insecure about how small he is but god does he get off when you’re oh so mean to him about it. Since he’s never done anything with a girl, he never would’ve known he would enjoyed being belittled by you. But he can’t deny that his tiny cock twitches and leaks whenever you make him feel like he’s nothing to you but a dirty mutt.

“It’s so small, I can barely even fit my whole hand around it.. what do you even expect me to do with this thing?” You mutter, lazily jacking him off with your thumb and index finger as he squirms and writhes on the bed beneath you. “A-ah- I’m sorry m’.. hah… so small…m’ sorry mommy.. please”

He’s so sensitive, he’s thrashing around and constantly trying to close his legs, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “Aww, you’re gonna cry?” You grip his aching cock tightly, which is almost painful for him. “Is this stupid virgin gonna start crying for me?” You scoff, smiling.

As soon as your grip tightens on his pathetic excuse of a dick, he’s full on sobbing from the stimulation. “Mmfh!! St-stop, m’ so sensitive.. no more.. please mommy, stop.. too much” he cries between choked whines. “Oh, you want me to stop? You haven’t even said the safe word, though. Besides, you’re fucking into my hand like a bitch in heat. “

He just nods his head in response, too embarrassed to form a real response, continuing to rut his hips up towards your fingers as he leaks. Suddenly, you speed up, focusing the stimulation on his tiny red tip. “W-wait.. I- m’ gonna cum, can’t hold it.. too much.. st-stop..” he’s grabbing your hand, not wanting to cum without your permission, but you smack it away. “It’s only been a few minutes, that’s hilarious honestly. You cum when I say you can, got that you stupid whore?”

“No, I- mommy please I can’t I… I’m- c-cumming” he wails as cum leaks out of his fat cock, coating your hand and his stomach. He’s spasming and sobbing, thighs shaking and tears rolling down his freckled cheeks as he’s cumming harder than his own hand has ever made him before. As soon as he’s able to collect himself, he’s profusely apologizing. “Mommy, I’m sorry I- it was too much, I’ll make it up to you I swear. Please, I- I swear I’ll be good just please don’t-“

“Shut up and save your apologies, slut. How about I use you until im satisfied and until you know better than to disobey me, yeah?”

[tteokdoroki]

imagine if your bestfriend katsuki was really babyfaced until he hit his 20’s. total late bloomer, aure he went through puberty but his body looked like it had never gotten out of the awkward teen boy phase look!

so, anyways maybe you travel back him for some family time, gone for maybe 3-4 months. Katsuki had already looked really mature, he just had some baby fat, and you teased him, because in your words he still looked like he did when he was 5.

now you’ve come back, and boy, has katsuki grown. you and the group go out on the town, and when you see katsuki he has grown in height, build, and his face is now chiseled. and you cant believe your eyes. the whole night you can’t stop staring, seeing your bestfriend in a new light.

(sorry if this makes no sense im running on a low brain battery lol!)

kissing your brain actually absolutely just smooching it ??

growing up with katsuki and he’s just the kid you guys picked on ever so slightly cause it was easy to get on his nerves — he’d just run home and cry. definitely a mamas boy LMAO !! but you’re both so cute, with gaps in your teeth and messy cheeks and your parents think you’re gonna end up together when you grow up. katsuki thinks that’s gross and you think he’s being mean n you push each other away like ewww grosss even though you were probably crushing on each other back then.

when you’re a little older katsuki is still baby faced and his mom always pinches his cheeks and calls him handsome and does that thing mom’s do where they lick their thumb and use it to wipe their kids face. PLEASE but katsuki is still so cute n hasn’t quite grown into himself yet :(( and when you start hitting 13/14 everyone is talking about the boys they like and who they wanna go to the movies with after school — he doesn’t think you’ll wanna go out with him because you’re best friends and he doesn’t look like the guys in your teen pop magazines or the boy groups you like.

stop he has like braces, he’s a little lanky and his voice is always cracking !!! awkward teen boy katsuki for the win!!! he probably stays like that all the way through high school n then you end up losing touch after graduation/starting college.

but then a few years down the line when you’re back from college your friends are begging you to come to a local bar to catch up — you ask if katsuki will be there and they won’t stop teasing you about it because you haven’t seen each other in ages !! laughing and pointing when he rolls in with your other guy friends, taller, thicker more buff. you’re practically drooling.

the katsuki you knew was shy, and small if he wanted to be but this katsuki is loud. he fills the whole room with his presence, he’s got a waistline that could kill and a jawline so sharp you could cut diamonds on it.

“didn’t your ma ever tell ya starin’ is rude?” bakugou mumbles when he’s close enough to order a drink and you literally melt in your spot — because when did his voice get so deep? basically running through your ears like melted chocolate.

“you’ve changed.” you quip.

“for the better, i hope?”

“yeah… you look good.”

“and so do you,” he comments back smoothly. “but don’cha worry, ‘m still your same old katsuki.”

and god, the way he smirks at you afterwards makes your thighs shake and your stomach do back flips, and you kinda hope your katsuki is a little bolder, a little different when you ask him.

“do you wanna get out of here, katsuki?”

your suspicions are confirmed when bakugou kicks back his shot and says.

“i thought you’d never ask.”

[naomiarai]

hi mimi im not sure if u rmbr but im the anon who talked abt working at a clothing store, i was also the one who asked if my fulltime soobin messge was sent in, but it’s ok i’ll send it again!

tbh interning at my store is driving me insane i hate it lol, so my coping mechanism has been imagining soobin being a fulltimer here so it’s more bearable :p and i absolutely despise closing shifts LOL but to make up for it id imagine him bending me over the counter (it’s a desk where customers return clothes they dont plan to buy) after closing up the store and using me as he pleases 😔 and i really like ur headcanons so i was hoping if u could make it more detailed for me hehe im fine with most kinks but degrading, slapping, choking, pernames and marking are my faves rn

sorry it’s so long 😭

yes, thank you for sending it!! :D

i LOVE this idea!! your imagination is so relatable TT

just imagine having bin as fulltimer at your store, just waiting to close up the shop. why you ask? because you were being a big fucking tease; the unnecessarily short skirt your were wearing, the way your pretty tits were spilling out of your top. and he can’t forget all the subtle touches whenever you’d pass by him, or the way you’d accidentally press up your ass against his hard on whenever he was behind you.

so as soon he he closed up the store, you’re quite literally dragged and bent over the familiar counter, skirt hiked up revealing your soaked panties. “stupid slut, thought you could get away with all that did you?” he says, voice dripping with venom as he pulls his zipper down, huge cock sprung out. you instantly moan when he rubs his cock against your wet cloth covered folds, slipping it to the side to slip inside ur slick cunt. “ah–! s-so big!” you groan shamelessly, hips circling. soobin’s hand comes down to slap your ass red at that, earning a wince from you. he starts moving his hips against the flesh of your ass, cunt repeatedly taking him hole, fast and rough. “just like that, f..fuck take it! take it! fucking bitch” he rasps, bending down to kiss and nip at your neck, leaving marks.

his words have your legs shaking, wetness dripping down as his tip batters at your cervix again and again. “fuck yeah! right there! o-oh..gonna cum!” you cry out, mouth open and drooling over the counter. soobin pulls your hips closer, cock so deep inside you think you might faint. “that’s right, fucking cum and make a mess, you’re just a stupid fucking whore, all you ever know is dick” he says before you coat his dick in white and he fills u up <33

[doawks]

i. melt into you, im changkyun.

♫ If I move too quick past you, I would think it's my reflection Being this close isn't close enough You could tell every time we touch, every time we, oh [...] That's when I melt into you

pairing. ex!changkyun x f!reader. genre. exes to lovers (?), smut, some fluff. warnings. manhandling, cheating (but he’s kinda like forgotten lol), dirty talk, implied jealousy + possessiveness, dom!changkyun to softdom!changkyun, praise kink, daddy being said once, little crying, creampie, unprotected sex━ missionary.

not proof read.

“does he fuck you like this, sweetheart?” the question was rhetorical━he knew the answer just as much as you did. “nah, i don’t think he does. because if he did, i wouldn’t have to be fucking you into my mattress every night and sending you on your way back home with my cum dripping down your thighs, now would i?”

you couldn’t help but turn your head to the side in utter embarrassment. changkyun saw right through you, constantly reading you like an open book. he knew you better than anyone, he knew you better than you knew yourself - and that’s saying a lot. you could never pretend when you were around changkyun, already knowing he would instantly call you out.

“c’mon, baby, fuck━” he lets out a guttural groan when he feels you clench down onto his cock tightly. god, changkyun will never get over the way your pussy feels. “so fuckin’ tight. i’m not going anywhere, baby, relax.”

you whimper at that. it’s not like he meant it in the way you thought, but it wasn’t exactly like you were in the right state of mind. when changkyun fucked you, he took you to an entirely different planet, literally. he fucked you hard and deep, leaving your pussy battered and legs a wobbly mess by the time he was done with you. when you two were dating, he left marks all over your body because he wanted to show the world how belong to him and only him ━ he can’t do that anymore however, much to his annoyance. but he doesn’t need to mark your pretty skin up anyway because you will always know who you belong to. your pussy only cries, aches for him and your heart is interlocked with his. you know it, he knows it. your new boy toy was merely a poor replacement to try to get over changkyun, but it obviously isn’t working, clearly.

“more. want more, please, kyunnie . . .” you aren’t exactly sure what you’re begging for. you’re honestly just blabbering at this point and changkyun knows that. he also knows how to shut you up.

shaking his head in amusement, changkyun hooks his veined hands underneath your knees, pressing them to your chest. when catching a glimpse of his biceps flexing, you instantaneously feel your pussy gush. his head lurches forward, silver necklace dangling prettily from his neck, “my insatiable little thing. you’re never going to be satisfied with what i give you, will you?”

you pout slightly, “i am.”

“no, you aren’t. but you will. you want me to fuck you hard and annihilate your little cunt, then so be it. but don’t try to push me away, you got that?”

maybe you overestimated just how much you could handle. . . just a bit. changkyun’s cock is thick, it always has been. he takes pride in that, quite frankly. the first time you two had sex, he remember vividly how shocked along with astounded you were when he lined it up with your pussy, eyes big and doe, mouth wide wondering how he was going to fit. since then, you thought you became accustomed to his size, but that’s only because he was giving it to you sweetly, inch by inch. even tonight, when changkyun threw you on the mattress, he promised to go easy on you, though you being as needy as you are, you knew you wanted - needed more than that. you only got to see changkyun once a week because you didn’t want your boyfriend to grow curious, so when he did fuck you, you wanted to make the most of it.

“fuuuuuck,” he draws out, throwing his head back, adam’s apple bobbing. he pounds into your squelching pussy mercilessly, a white ring of cum beginning to coat his cock when sliding out. “sweet little cunt━fuck, so tight. takin’ me so well, sweetheart.”

“d━daddy, my clit . . . can you, mhm, can you rub my clit?”

you were so fucking cute, always using your manners for him. he absolutely loved that about you. yeah, you might be a brat at times, but at the end of the day, you were always going to be his good girl. his.

he doesn’t answer verbally, instead, he takes his thumb into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the digit before bringing it down onto your clit, which twitched instinctively underneath the pad of his pollex.

on the brink of tears, you don’t think before you cradle changkyun’s face and bring his plush lips to yours. since you two began doing this whole ‘exes with benefits’ arrangement, it was agreed that there would be no kissing during sex because it would be deemed too romantic. you initiated the rule, unfortunately. only because kissing was the first intimate thing you ever experienced with your ex, who was once your boyfriend, changkyun. it meant so much to you especially because it was with someone you loved━love so dearly. you knew that if you were to kiss changkyun, it would bring you back to the first time you ever did. the memories suddenly pivoting in your head.

changkyun kisses you back sincerely, lips molding against yours. his pace comes to a halt, the hand that was under one of your knees quickly coming to your cheek, stroking the skin tenderly. you don’t feel yourself crying until changkyun acknowledges it, “shh. don’t cry, my pretty angel. i’m here.”

you’re silly. extremely silly. you never just wanted to fuck changkyun. but you knew, or thought, it would be the only way to relish in his warmth once again. you missed his touches, his words, sure, you missed him fucking you, but you really just missed him, in general.

changkyun pulls away slowly to press a kiss onto your nose. “need to take a break?”

“no, i just━missed you. not the sex, you.”

“i never left, baby. i was always here, no matter what you thought.” changkyun smiles softly at you, a smile that could light up an entire dim room.

changkyun’s words stick with you, because he’s so right. he never did leave. when he found out you were in a relationship, any normal ex would back off, but changkyun didn’t. he stayed in contact with you. or at least tried because you would never really respond to any of his messages. he made sure you were okay, wished you a happy birthday, a merry christmas. you two never ended on bad terms, but somehow, someway, you made it seem like you did.

god, how stupid you feel right now.

“i’m sorry, changkyun,” you choke, leaning into his touch. you missed him. so much.

changkyun puts your thighs at the side of him, bringing both his hands to your waist, gripping you. “no more apologies. just let me make love to you.”

with that, changkyun continues to fuck you. not hard, not rough ━ but slow and sensual. he tattoos open mouthed kisses onto your neck before going down to your collarbone, occasionally suckling your skin into his mouth. he yearned for this ━ just to be soft with you whilst telling you how pretty you are. he never told you he loved you enough back then, and that was his mistake. a mistake he would never make again. because now, he will make sure you know how much he loves and adores you with every 206 bones he has in his body. his life is purposeless without you, it has no meaning. you’re like his air, his water. you’re a necessity.

the head of changkyun’s cock kisses your cervix which has you arching your back of the mattress in pleasure. it feels good, too good. you haven’t felt this overwhelmed with pleasure and emotions in a long time. “kyunnie━”

“don’t think i can keep up any longer, baby. g━fuck. gonna come.”

“in me, kyun! in me. want you to come in me, please.”

he furrows his brows but nods his head nonetheless, “fuck. yeah, alright, angel. whatever you want.”

the mans hips speed up, balls slapping against your ass. the thumb he has on your clit also begins to quicken, causing your legs to jerk at his sides from the sensitivity and the impactful pounding. the sounds of your pornographic moans, changkyun’s deep grunts, and sweaty skin clapping is extraordinarily lewd but you can’t even find it in yourself to care neither does the man above you.

“c’mon, pretty baby,” he gently coaxes, “give it to me. make a pretty mess all over my cock for me. you can do that right, yeah? i know you can.”

your stomach starts to tighten, implying that your orgasm was quickly approaching. changkyun knows this, of course, because as stated before, he see’s right through you - and because he can feel your little pussy holding onto him for dear life, desperately trying to empty his balls. he chuckles, “fuck, sweetheart, you’re gonna milk me dry.”

with a few more encouraging words and deep thrust, you’re releasing all over his cock, changkyun following soon after into your pussy. as a heavy breath escapes from his lips, he deflates onto your chest - snuggling his head in the crook of your clammy neck - cock softening in the process while still being in your warm, gooey pussy. “love you so much, baby.” he whispers quietly in your skin.

you delicately shut your eyes, smiling while doing so. “love you, too.”

you knew you were going to have to find a way to break up with your boyfriend later on, but you didn’t care about that right now. all you cared about was the warmth changkyun was providing that you missed.

[yakumtsaki]

Dear readers, we've been through so much together and you know at this point it takes a lot for me to describe a situation as 'out of control'.. yet here we are. So Kea moves in and the following happens in the span of like 2 hours:

Barth beats up Felina.

Kea beats up Spice.

Barth beats up Cyan.

Felina beats up Barth. Like seriously, ENOUGH. I've decided that next generation when we're at the third cousin tier relation I'm just gonna let whoever wants to date a cousin do it because holy hell, breaking them up has been a disaster. Everyone is near aspiration failure, everyone has shit grades, we're BROKE, and to top it all off..

-HELLO AGAIN

Why. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WE DON'T OWE ANY BILLS LIKE THIS IS LITERAL THEFT. I also love how everyone is already so miserable so the repoman just comes and takes all the fun objects we can't afford to replace, FML

Barth's aspiration meter is absolutely pathetic as a result of everyone viciously assaulting him and desperate times call for desperate measures..

-Well well.. If it isn't Glitched Butler #9.. How's it hanging? ;)

-Same as always, I'm here to not cook and to open the doors we no longer have thanks to Baby.

-You know what, I'm too depressed to seduce you so will you just sleep with me?

-As you well know my butler programming prohibits me from doing anything helpful!

FFS. It's ok Barth, I will fulfill your throw a party want, I don't see how anything could go wrong with the situation in this house being what it is!

-Hey there! Join our party! Sleep with me! I COMMAND YOU

Barth please get it together.

-I CAN'T FUNCTION ROMANTICALLY BECAUSE I'M SO SAD BUT I REFUSE TO THROW ANY WANTS THAT DON'T INVOLVE ME SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE

OK DO YOU MAYBE SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THAT APPROACH

-NO

-Ugh, Spice is so hot when he's crying after I beat him up.

Ok Kea, I'm only gonna ask this once: are you fucking kidding me????

-What? It's only natural to be attracted to your girlfriend's ex who is her cousin and your enemy.

I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see this shit and move on.

So I have invited several of Barth's existing and potential lovers to this party and my goal is to figure out who, if anyone, I'm gonna marry him to. Now please enjoy this sequence of events:

a) Barth is flirting with my current top spouse pick, Stella Terrano, and it's going great!

b) Barth leaves Stella Terrano to go sleep with GODDAMN GUNNAR. Since I can't seem to shake this fucker off, the only option remaining is to give him a ridiculous fake accent to make him bearable.

-Oi luvs you, Barth!

-Why are you talking like a servant from Downton Abbey? Also who the hell caught me cheating now?

Who knows or cares? Let's continue:

c) Barth goes downstairs to beat up Cyan.

d) Klara aka my former top spouse pick attempts to leap into Barth's arms and HE LETS HER DROP

-Äääääh mein arsch!

-Sorry Klara but I refuse to get caught cheating by Gunnar..

-..unless it's with Stella Terrano!

LOL OMG, I really thought I'd have to marry him to fucking Gunnar due to THIS SHIT:

But God's mercy finally shines upon me!!!

Oh man I'm so upset by this >:)

-Ha culd youse do 'is, ya broke ma 'eart!!!

-What?

-Oh my, turtles are considered the sexiest animal in my planet👽

Stella ffs. Oh well, so sad, goodbye Gunnar, I was really hoping to add your freakish lack of chin into our gene pool but looks like I won't have the chance huhu!

e) Barth flirts with Stella again and is caught cheating AGAIN..

f) ..by Sarah Love who I keep forgetting exists but man that's a HARDCORE slap, she legit got her fingers in his eyeball(s)

-SORRY WHATSYOURNAME BUT I THINK BLINDING ME IS A BIT OF AN OVERREACTION

Yay! See Barth, our amazing party did the trick and now everything is gonna be ok!

-IM BLIND IM BLINDDDD I CAN'T SEE

Excuse me?! You know what Barth I'm done helping you, nothing is ever good enough for you!