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Happy Hifuumo...Sunday. Yeah, this is a lot later than I really wanted it to be. Friday kind of really sucked and was frustrating for a lot of reasons and it carried over well into when I'm typing this.
Chronic illness sucks.
It wasn't just chronic illness of course. It was some system error with the bank that led to me being like two hours late for a doctor's appointment. But it became my illness as soon as I got back from my really fun trip. And I hate that those good times get ruined.
I hate how I /dwell/ on it for so long, but it weighs on me so much that it just can't not. And then other stressful things happen and it all culminates in a time I enjoyed no longer being so as it cascades through my life.
And it's dumb, but I felt 'guilty' for not having done this sooner? So much so that it just made it so this happened further than it could have, which just made me feel even worse.
This isn't the first time it's happened either of course.
But it is the first time where it took me /this/ long to finally do the fun thing I enjoy doing. And that sucks.
And I think it will keep sucking, so long as it keeps happening and I do nothing about it. Lots of things interfere with my life.
Being able to deal with them is very important. So for now on...I think I'll start going on these trips earlier in the week. Like on Wednesday or Thursday perhaps. And then give myself a whole day to decompress and write up these adventures I have on Friday.
I think it would be better for me to manage my time in that way. I feel sort of dumb for not thinking to do so earlier, but now that I have it is something I will do going forward.
I cannot avoid stressful things forever. How I deal with them matters.
And so does not turning things that aren't stressful—things that have been alleviating my stress—into something that is. These trips and the little journal I make out of them (And stories. Sorry I haven't written one in awhile) are for fun. They should stay that way.
I will be going back to this region of my city next week. It's old and has a lot of history. In fact, this bar is VERY 'old style'. It's filled with a lot of history and taking a closer look at it would be fun.
And that's the important thing. Having fun with this. More than anything turning going outside like this—something that is still filling me with anxiety—into something fun helps me so much.
And everything after is fun too. When I'm not all up in my head about it.
So with all of that out of the way, I might go back and retroactively write some stories (Like of this trip) and post them somewhere. Because a lot of these are really funny and I want to. And it's as simple as that.
I love you all, I hope you have a great day!
#Hifuumo Friday#im learning how to use tumblr more now#sorry for the giant mess my previous posts were
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I took my sweet time playing through @diasporatheblog these past few months and finally brought myself to finish it yesterday (so sad it's over sobs)
#diaspora game#diaspora#cog#if#interactive fiction#sangarinus#sangarinus nabor#tintabrancaart#tintabrancaocs#tintabrancaocfalgaraile#if you saw me post this twice u didnt. tumblr loves to hate me sigh sigh#anyway !!#this game waow#ancient rome is a huge fixation for me so castulia was a treat to explore and visualise#esp bc the game doesnt take place in the capital (rather in a port city which. yesssss)#okok so my fool falgaraile (falga to their friends).. they/it legend#they're a bit more on the serious side wrt personality#partly bc of the stress of their responsibilities but also bc they're fairly straightforward in their manner#it's exhausted by the wars and conflicts around clan maghnus which def contribute to the stress#refreshed and looking forward to the possibility of peace. looks at balthasar#falga's eye got eviscerated in a raid when it was a teenager so now they have a prettified prosthetic in its place#some scars on their legs too but yea#it turns out you cant big brain your way out of every fight !! and it learned the hard way lmao#but yeye gosh i used a mixture of diaspora's worldbuilding and celtiberian material culture as refs for their design#because that is where my heart lies :'D#oh and sang !! i didnt go too hard on his design because it's a little more set in stone already#i love him he's such a lil (big) guy.. my buddy my pal. mwah#i have a very strong mental image of his face so i had to give it a few tries to really nail down#im glad w how it came out !!#ahh okok i need to rest but yes i love diaspora i love the setting and characters :'D i will be replaying it while i still can
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took a mock ielts test today
#bakuspeech#honestly can not estimate how well I did with written competencies at All they could give me a goose egg and I'd be like. harsh but fair#but the speaking test was SO funny. bc I had to sit there and pretend like I didn't learn english from using tumblr for a decade#and. well. from writing anime fics. and [redacted] fics#so yeah yesterday and today's been dedicated to lunar new year stuff and mock test prep#as in. trying to remember the things I needed to bring to the exam room. which I did forget at home btw. good thing I went two hours#earlier than I shouldve#taking one single formalized aptitude test like ah yeah . this is why I'm not in school no more#twelve years of french to beat language aptitude testing into my very bones and five years out its all already a big open beautiful void#how did I manage that C1. they were 100% taking pity on me#anyways. I think Im good to sleep now. just figured a thing out excited to see it take shape properly#alright have a good night lads. enjoy uhhh words I guess. nice shoelaces u got there
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Saw your tags on that post about swamp milkweed about having trouble getting it started--you may already know this, but milkweed seeds need light to germinate! They only need a light dusting of soil on top of them (and putting them somewhere with a lot of light helps!); if you can't see the seed through the soil, it's buried a little too deep. They basically want to be laying flat on the surface of the soil rather than poked down into it, with just enough soil on top to help them retain moisture. Yes this does make it kind of annoying to manage moisture because you don't really want them drying out either (sorry 😭) but I hope this helps!! I mention it because this is the most common issue I see with people trying to grow milkweeds from seed. They also want 4 weeks of cold stratification (cool temperatures like in a fridge while also being in contact with moist soil; you can plant your seeds, pop the whole pot in a ziplock/cover it with cling wrap, and just refrigerate it for a few weeks) so don't forget to do that!
You know
it's really funny
because i like to call myself the self-proclaimed milkweed queen of tumblr (at least on my gardening blog but still)
And yet
I
constantly fucking forget about the light thing
IDK if that'll fix all my problems (the soil at my house is pretty sandy so I think that's the problem when it comes to transplanting at least) but regarding getting those little shits to germinate??? that might be the ticket
(one of the other problems I face sometimes is the seeds deciding to mold when they're in the fridge cold stratifying, i lost a good chunk of seeds to that last year but i don't see any signs of it happening yet this year so fingers crossed everyone)
#out of queue#ani rambles#bootesstar#answered asks#me: im the self proclaimed milkweed queen of tumblr i love milkweed i know so much about it#also me at least twice a year: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BURY THEM HOWD I FORGET THAT#*proceeds to immediately forget that*#its never too late to learn homies#its just a little embarassing to need to learn it like 7 times now#im planting my milkweed tomorrow and no one will stop me (my neighbor might stop me if she needs help but AFTER THAT)#im gonna use my brand new 36 cell seed starter#its the same make as my 16 cell one but with smaller/more cells#for anyone curious/because i dont know how to shut up in the tags#my favorite seed starting trays are the burpee superseed popout reusable ones#they have silicone bottoms so you can just go BOOP when its time to take the seedlings out and it comes with a little tray to hold water to#they're also top shelf dishwasher safe. a fact i keep forgetting.#AND they have marked rows and columns so you can write down whats in what cell#so i can be like 'rows a and b are swamp milkweed' or 'cells 1a and 1b are sweet peppers cells 1c and 1d are bell' or whatever#listen. its nice. for me at least.#they used to only be at home depot in my area but I found this one at (vine ref incoming) t t t t t t t t TAAAAARGEEEEEEET
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Idk hot take for a Saturday morning, but maybe people shouldn’t be SO quick to switch to a mentality of: “well I’m not voting at all” about American politics in regards to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict/genocide just bc America has had its dick in those affairs LONG BEFORE fucking Biden Presidecy and people are seemingly just NOW feeling publically vocally outraged about it bc it’s in the forefront news (as you should be), but maybe also let’s use our fucking brains for a moment if you are American:
we should, and can easily, also still focus on that which is in our own backyard, if you don’t vote fucking blue, because green/third parties are not actually viable in the deeply established two party system we have had for CENTURIES, we get fucking DeSantis or some other horrible Fascist Republican and then America is going to have its own genocide against LGBTQ+ people, fascism goes up, continued attacks against drag/immigrants/etc.
You also know damn well that any Republican, If one were president, would be doing the same fucking thing of providing aid to Israel, so I guess personally I’m just confused as to why everyone is surprised biden is doing the same.
You can and should support a free Palestine, and hold contempt for Israel and condemn their actions, AND also know that voting blue is Americas literal only chancE RIGHT CURRENTLY NOW this upcoming year, to remain somewhat of a democracy instead of a ChristoFascist regime, especially with Biden being one of the ONLY blue candidates like… our hands are TIED
Like YEAH it’s gonna fucking suck to vote for Biden but like you also gotta fucking Buck up sometimes and do things you don’t particularly WANT to do. It’s called duality and compromising in life and sometimes it’s fucking unavoidable.
But idk what the fuck do I know 🤪 I’m just a girl who thinks maybe you shouldn’t just fucking give up one of your only recognized rights in America just because some actions you can’t control from a crusty old moderate blue white man in a country whose affairs are more complicated than your messiest situationship is upsetting (rightfully so, I might add) you
#personal txt#I’m sorry that tragedies are like trends these days but I haven’t seen ANYRHING about any of the crises we had earlier in the year#like yeah ALL of it is important but also#you can’t NOTvote next year you will actively be contributing to a horrible fascist regime in America#please use your fucking eyes and brain: I did NOT say Americans shouldn’t support Palestine. they should#I’m saying maybe don’t base your gut reaction politics on things that have been out of the public’s hands for DECADES. US has always backed#Israel. it isn’t right and it’s corrupt and it’s awful yes. all those. but it won’t change#just like how the two party system is so ingrained that it nullifies 3rd parties#vote blue just so we don’t fucking die in America and then hope Biden kicks it or smth#Kamala takes over. elections come again. we hopefully have more democratic candidates#but like#we CANNOT not vote#I will literaally kill myself if Trump or DeSantis win all because you fuckstains#learned your politics from fucking tiktok and tumblr#come at me if my hot take (which isn’t even a hot take but PURE observation)#bothers you enough but idc#I’m seeing too many people being like WELL NOW IM NOT VOTING AT ALL#good job on giving up one of your only rights in this world you fucking Sheep#the amount of people goingIM NOT VOTING. IS CONCERNING TO ME#like y’all can’t do this right before fucking election year 🫠#republicans WANT you to not vote you stupid clods. why would you willingly give them what they want#Biden sucks so fucking much and I’d rather eat glass but I know in the big picture voting blue fucking matters#like MULTPLE things can be important at once#but imo it’s important to know what you do and don’t have immediate control over#can you control what’s happening in Gaza? not a fucjing chance. these people hate each other so much and for so long#and yes it’s terrible and horrible and Israel needs to just fuck off forever#but like I highly doubt they would listen to the opinion f outside affairs#also I don’t think majority of people even understand just HOW complicated the US relations with Israel is and I don’t either so I won’t#pretend like I do#you can more easily control the outcome of the US political landscape by FUCKING VOTING
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RETURN TO MY ROOTS. LACK OF RAREPAIR CONTENT -> I have to make it myself.
#I’m taking about cater/Jade again lol 😭😭😭#other people took over with jami/azu and cay/dia they don’t need me now#<- I say like that’s gonna stop me#I’m incapable of going g long without drawing them especially 🐍🐙#I’m much more scared now tho LOL there used to be No Fanart on tumblr#that’s why I had to learn how to brows pixiv#but uhhhhhh now there r a lotta people#lots of art to look at which is fun#but also! im scared. shjdjfjffgjtngnynyyynhngnhnh#retreating back into my rarepair corner where it’s me and like 2 other people sometimes#I hope I don’t sound like I’m complaining. I LOVE seeing more art of my blorbos always 😌#I just have Problems sjjdfnejfbfnfntngn the scared thing is a Me Issue#but my point is Jade/cater will forever be my rarest of pairs 😭
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I can’t believe tweetdeck would get shredded right before Elon wants people to pay for it. tweetdeck is the only good feature twitter has. If you can’t post and retweet between multiple accounts there’s no reason to use it? What else does twitter offer people who have to segment their presence across multiple accounts?
Since I work on 18+ material but also like to, you know, have a personal life and friends who may not also like what I’m working on, it’s nigh impossible to use the damn thing now. There’s like, no point? AND THIS GUY WANTS PEOPLE TO PAY MONEY TO USE THE THING HE BROKE?
Also, wow! happy disability pride month! right on the heels of the supreme court dismantling rights for lgbtq people in pride month, the website disabled people us to gather/share resources due to it’s wide accessibility is now extremely inaccessible.
#vpersonal#and im not fooled#im old enough to have experienced the death of many popular social media sites. myspace. quizilla. livejournal. yahoo gutting tumblr#It can happen anywhere at any time and I really hope people who are younger brush up on their computer literacy because an FYP#isn't going to save you. you have to learn how to search for content off these websties and without them putting it in front of you because#things are careening towards a very grim future where it's nigh impossible to use a search bar effectively AND your content is extremely#censored and filtered. im not catastrophizing here. it's RIDICULOUSLY more diffitcult to find things and share things now than it was#10 years ago i was a HEAVY tumblr user and the website functioned beautifully with xkit and they dismantled that and made this website suck#it will continue to happen and you have to be ahead of the curve
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DND IS SO FUCKING COOL
#played my first session!! my friend rlly wanted to dm a session he’s been planning for weeks so we did it!! and holy FUCK#can I. play more game pls#I made a character extremely last minute and showed up with a druid who thought we were in a Very different kind of story#he thought this was fun adventure journey of self discovery and I am going to minimise details#bc I know at least one of the other players is on tumblr#but anyway dm hits us with like children in danger and people being tortured and seeing your friends die and holy FUCK#and that changes a character!! instantly!! and it was so cool to experience that shift#like Oh this is what it feels like to be about to die#the dm was also honestly like. playing into a bunch of normal fantasy tropes and it makes you realise More how fucked they are#also as predicted playing a druid is so insanely fun#I love spellcasting actually and ALSO predictably control spells are so fun. there was a chase scene for my character specifically that#probably was Not meant to happen I just turned out to have misty step and entangle and sleep which Really helps#can’t believe I forgot about hiding with wild shape but I think that would’ve actually broken the dms plan entirely.#GOD I wanna play more dnd#this may or may not become a regular thing and I Really hope it does bc I’m obsessed with my friend’s character#and this group had such a fun vibe#will see what happens!! gonna talk to the dm abt it later#devastating that I’m now going home and won’t be able to play at all until the new year + there straight up just isn’t time before I leave#I could potentially plan a session on like. Tuesday but that would be insane and I now have greater doubts abt dming#I am truly not the same guy I was at the start of this term and I don’t know if I could do that anymore. will think abt it!#dnd tag#I was ALSO right in thinking I’d be frustrated by warlock 2 spell slots bc resource scarcity brain was chafing at 6#OH and the moral calculations I had to do in the scenario the dm put together were So interesting. you learn shit about your character#+ also yourself#ANYWAY IM DONE TYPING IF ONE OF THE OTHER PLAYERS SAW THIS NO YOU DIDNT PLS KEEP SCROLLING LOVE YOU BYE <3
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Cat Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
🖋️ meowful-musings Follow
🕊️ birdwatching Follow
what's wrong with dry food??? my humans feed me it all the time and i think it's fine
💀 elusivehider-deactivated948204
op wheres the natural feeding option
🌲 outdoorsy Follow
you guys are getting fed?
#im a barn cat so maybe im missing something here #meowtthew don't look
7,192 notes
☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
YOU ARE NOT LESS VALID IF YOU ARE NOT A SPECIFIC PEDIGREE!!!!!
☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
extra special shout out to cats who have "common" coat colors. grey tabbies and black cats i am rubbing against your head affectionately <3
🪤 m0usetrap01 Follow
as a grey tabby i really needed to hear this :"3
#i feel like i never see positivity posts for moggies even tho we're the most common type of cat....
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🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
i cant believe there are cats ACTUALLY advocating for kittens to be separated from their mothers before 12 weeks??? kittens still need to learn how to interact with other cats before being placed into their furever home omg you guys know you're advocating for undersocialized and aggressive cats right
❤️ loving-paws284 Follow
um op some of us??? matured early??????? i was separated from my mother at 7 weeks and i turned out fine... interesting how you assume that kittens being separated from their mothers at a younger age will lead to the degeneracy of the next generation...hmm i wonder where i've heard that before...
🐈 fluffy-the-cat Follow
OP got bit too hard during a play-fight as a kitten and it shows XD
🐟 tunafeesh Follow
also op have you ever considered that just because somecat is kind of scared and unable to deal with strange cats or humans, it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be adopted?? you sound like a vet psyop honestly
🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
oh meow god saying that kittens should be fully weaned before leaving their mother is NOT veterinarian rhetoric and i never said that they deserve to be euthanized!!! my mother literally died when i was 3 weeks old and it seriously messed up my development so stop putting words in my mouth, thanks
anyway friendly reminder that underweaned kittens are prone to illness and often struggle with basic cat behaviors like litterbox usage, and in some nyavinces it's even considered kitten abuse
#discourse #cant believe "kitten abuse is bad" is controversial now
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🍃 naturalliving Follow
BORN TO DIE
WORLD IS A FUCK
猫神 Kill Em All 1989
I am trash cat
410,757,864,530 DEAD BIRDS
#outdoorliving #outdoorcats please interact #outdoorcat friendly
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🎣 salmonpurina Follow
can't believe cats are uncritically reblogging that born to die world is a fuck post. i know it's funny but op is literally an outdoor cat truther
#like cmon now you just have to go to their blog #lulu speaks
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💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
gentle reminder that pushing cups off the table is not cute and can cause a lot of distress in your human!!!! gentle reminder that our teeth and claws can easily hurt them more than they can hurt us!!!!
🐰 evil-tabbystripes Follow
evil reminder that the cup should always be pushed off the table. evil reminder that you should always bite and claw at your human no matter what. you can do whatever you want forever
💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
make your own pawst
💀 laser-point-deactivated8574721
umm i know a tomcat who did that and his human ended up putting him down so...
👬🏻 nyasunaruenjoyer Follow
Nyaverage shelter cat behavior
#not nyaruto #re-nyab #pickles shut up
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🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
saw two male cats sleeping together on the porch today. homeow behavior imo
💡 discourse-meows Follow
hey um what the fuck??? it's really not okay of you to go assuming other cat's sexualities, especially cats you don't even know???? as a queer cat i'm VERYY uncomfortable. real-ass cats didn't consent to your nyaoi fetish, thanks
🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
1. i was making. a joak
2. i'm literally gay???
#literally what's your pawblem
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🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
reblog if you've ever caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
i know you fuckers are lying
🍭 gaykittens Follow
this tom hasn't caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
shut the heull up
988,653 notes
🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
grey toebeans >>>>>>>>> pink toebeans and don't let the haters make you believe otherwise
🐁 ladymouser Follow
op shut the fuck up ALL toebeans are beautiful!!! just bc you're miserable and insecure doesn't mean you can bring others down based on things they can't control
🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
oh so the cat-human separationist wants to preach to us
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hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT
Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.
When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.
I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.
Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.
For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.
Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.
The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!
It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.
I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).
Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)
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when i first started drawing, i did it for fun and just for myself, but recently i feel like ive been drawing much more to impress?? i guess >> to impress who, idk, but it makes me not enjoy drawing as much xd i rlly need to get back to drawing for fun and not worry so much about what people think of it ^^
#i judge my art too harshly so i feel like thats why i dont upload as much as i used to#i either dont finish drawings or just dont upload them aa#ive been drawing for quite a few years now and i used to upload a few drawings.. like daily before i had tumblr#i also used to draw so much quicker too like 30 minutes for drawing and now its more like 3 hours AFHSKJKA#i miss my old art style but i also like my own right now too#although im still trying to figure out how to get it to look like how i want#maybe i should just let it happen normally bc i feel like my artstyle changes with every post 💀#so anyways; ive always been more happy to my drawings make other people happy than to make my own art; and it is still that way; but i think#somewhere along the way i forgot that people arent expecting perfection from me; only i have set that expectation for myself#so ye; i should work on learning to enjoy art again :p#not a negative post btw ^^#pencakes notes
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while i do identify with being australian im not actually aussie by blood in any way and for a long time ive been wanting to get more in touch with my greekness.... i feel like i dont know anything about it. i just dont know how to go about learning. sigh
#i guess i could try asking my family but somehow i feel like itd be awkward to ask#i should really continue learning the language#i dunno why i wasnt taught it growing up considering everyone on the greek side of my family speaks it at home#its up to me now tho#it feels like really bad in a way. my family was discriminated against for being greek upon coming here#& currently nobody in the youngest generation of our family (including myself) knows how to speak greek#its not nearly the same crisis as it is for other cultures greeks arent dying out or anything but yknow still#i dont see my extended family nearly as much as i used to (things happened). at least were still on good terms#im english too lol but i dont feel as strongly about that half of myself#i guess probably because it doesnt feel as different from being aussie as being greek does#my feelings towards all this are actually a bit more complicated than what ive been saying. greece is hardly a paradise#but eh. tumblr post
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my stomach freaking hurts
#im going to be personal in the tags for a moment. nothing too bad just talking#rewatching until dawn has made me recontextualize a lot of things both in real life and in the game but for now im going to talk about the#in real life. i was best friends with someone named chris from ages 11 to 18. we dated for a MAJORITY of those years. he was my best frien#friend irl and we did almost everything together and were insanely codependent on eachother#he was extremely abusive. mostly emotionally/physically. he was also ableist#i was convinced i abused him for years until i reached out to an ex friend of ours (his ex gf. my ex bff. i introduced them)#and she proceeded to tell me he also physically/emotionally abused her in the same ways and would make fun of me constantly#in their relationship. he had a weird obsession with me. hes the reason i was witch hunted off tumblr for kinning ouma and all that harras#harrassment i got and still continue to get on my more popular rp accs. he stalked me irl. would learn my work schedules and usual routines#to show up and watch me to it. he also brought his girlfriend my ex friend with him multiple times and used her email to make accs to stalk#me. she apologized for that. i forgive her because she was also being abyused by him at the time. i get it#but the thing is until dawn and chris are inherently connected because they were our core kins for years. obviously.#he still goes by chris irl. ive gone by a different name because the association scared me#but i dont know. ive been given time to process everything outside of a family that LOVED him and his family#and refused tyo believe any of this and that it was 'that bad' and thought i was a bad person for not giving him a chance#and i dont know#until dawn but specifically realizing that chris IN GAME sucks too has like. made me really really examine how badlyall of that affectyed m#and attempt to process it and move on and i feel like this is just. helping me a lot#i feel like its helped me get more affectionate with my current partner and be more comfortable and happy around them instead of walking on#egg shells. and i feel like its been helping me work on my internalized ableism too#its just been nice#txt#abuse //
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this video made me laugh, and i wanted to post it on tumblr with some kind of caption, so here's the caption:
i think it's interesting how transient ownership over things has become in "meme" and content creation spheres. im thinking now about this video in particular. im thinking about how i downloaded it off of a tweet reacting to another post. they probably downloaded it from someone else, who got it from someone else, who got it from someone who decided to put a simple edit on a youtube video to have it speed up gradually as it progresses. that youtube video, before that, was made by someone who used this character someone else made-- a character whose identity is ubiquitous enough for it to be expected that the audience just know who they are and what they're from. along the way, as this piece of digital textile has been passed around, ripped from its original tapestry and defaced again and again to fit the intent of the current owner's message, there's been no credit given to any additive measures that brought this post into being, nor is much expected. there is a noticeable difference in meme spaces where the same level of "credit the artist" is not necessarily expected for these edits which i would consider natural descendants of the animutations of the early oughts (through the youtube poop genus, of course). i find it fascinating that these-- speaking objectively-- complex and abstract messages that take measurable effort to learn how to create, are taken for granted. they simply exist as tokens within a human ecosystem, like seashells or coins. these things just float from person to person, and everybody has just sorta grown to expect it because there's so many of them being made every single day, and so many of them are being more and more blatantly derivative. including this! this post is incredibly derivative! it's derivative of all those people who hadn't been credited because they didn't credit each other, and likely wouldn't be terribly cross with me that i didn't go out of my way to credit them. i think that's fascinating.
alternative caption:
logging into a business meeting but i forgot to turn off my vtuber software
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gamer | l.hc
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genre : smut
warnings : fingering , spanking , hair pulling , multiple creampies , unprotected sex
hiii everyone! im so sorry for literally disappearing for a whole month. 😭 i just lost motivation for a while but i wanna start writing again! unfortunately, i lost access to most of the requests i received over the last month due to my own lack of experience using tumblr. i am still fairly new to the app so i am still learning how to navigate my drafts, requests, etc.
any new requests would be greatly appreciated!
well, this is nice. you come to visit your boyfriend and instead of you occupying his time, it’s a computer game. what could possibly make a game so fun? you swear he’s been playing for hours at this point, rarely even taking glances in your direction. you haven’t seen eachother in a week and he’s acting like he couldn’t care less about your presence.
“hyuck” you sing out, as you crawl to the end of the bed to be closer to where he sits. he hums in response, not even looking at you. “wanna cuddle?” you ask while giving him puppy dog eyes.
he looks at you for a moment and then turns to the screen again before speaking. “you know i’d love that. but, there’s a time limit on me getting this super rare gun.”
a gun? seriously?
“you can’t cuddle for just a little bit?” you whine dramatically. he chuckles and shakes his head. “im sorry, baby.”
you sigh and crawl back to the middle of the bed. laying down on the fluffy blanket you were previously wrapped in. you open your phone and start scrolling mindlessly, hoping to pass time so maybe haechan could finally give you attention.
you find yourself going through your camera roll, more specifically your videos. most of them being of your dog, sometimes pretty scenery outside. you come across one video in particular, a video haechan took on your phone.
shit, you look so pretty like this. want me to fuck you, hm? my pretty girl is so wet for me.
the audio plays quietly from your phone, just loud enough for you to hear over the sound effects on haechan’s game. you quickly swipe to the next video and see his face, his bare shoulders glistening with sweat as he roughly thrusts into you, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. he looked perfect, so handsome.
great, not only are you wanting to simply talk with haechan, but now, you’re also horny. now craving something he most likely doesn’t want to give at the moment.
you want his attention, and you want it now. you decide to take off a few layers, hoping to maybe catch his eye. you crawl over to the edge of the bed and lay on your stomach. wearing just your bra and panties, you prop your ass up a bit higher, hoping he’d see that first if he glanced at you.
“what are you doing?” he asks, not looking away from the screen. “im not doing anything, why?” you say, making yourself sound way more innocent than you are.
“oh really? then why are you half naked, staring at me.” he chuckles and finally looks at you, taking in sight of you. “uhm, it got hot? i think you’re looking into things too much, hyuck.” you coo at him and blink cutely.
“am i now?“ he shakes his head, his jaw slightly tightening. “mhm, you’d better get that gun anyways. it sounds… exciting.” you say softly, trying to fight back a stubborn smile.
he clicks his tongue and looks at you again, shaking his head and chuckling. you look back at him, raising your eyebrows. he suddenly gets out of his chair and sits down on the bed, pulling your legs across his lap, ass up.
“what are you doing? don’t you have a time limit?” you ask, your voice filled with fake urgency. “oh shut up.” he growls and spanks your ass roughly. you yelp and bury your face into the fabric of his sweatpants.
he rubs your ass before laying another slap across it. “you wanted it this bad?” he asks, his voice a bit deeper than usual. you don’t say anything in response, just shutting your eyes tightly.
you feel him pulling your panties off of you quickly, leaving yourself feeling a bit more vulnerable than before. he spreads your legs on his lap before slapping the back of your thigh gently. “you all worked up, hm?” he teases.
“hyuck…” you breathe out weakly. he hums softly and rubs his finger along your slit. he spreads the wetness all over your pussy before slowly pushing a finger inside you. you whine at the sudden action, hands moving to his free arm in front of you to grip on it gently.
“so wet. it’s all for me, right?” he whispers. you nod your head quickly in response. “talk to me, baby.” he says softly, starting to slowly move his finger in and out. “okay” you whimper and grip onto his hand tightly, your hips starting to squirm a bit.
he lets go of your hand and holds you down with his whole arm, not letting you move anymore. he starts to curl his fingers every time they go into you, speeding up the pace a bit more.
a soft moan escapes from your lips as he hits a certain spot inside you. “oh, did that feel good?” he asks and repeats the action, this time rougher than before, causing your legs to tremble. he repeats this a few more times before adding a second finger, stretching you out a bit.
“please don’t stop.” you whimper softly as your back arches. “oh i don’t plan on it.” he chuckles and continues to finger you. he starts to move his fingers in at an angle, causing them to hit that same spot perfectly.
loud, wet, squelching noises can now be heard in the room, mixing with the lobby music of the game still running on haechan’s computer. you whimper softly with each push of his fingers, you close your eyes tightly.
“im close.” you pant out as your whole body starts to shake. he starts moving his fingers faster, pushing them into your g-spot nonstop. his free hand moves to your clit, rubbing quick but steady motions.
“cum for me.” he says gently. you moan softly as you feel a familiar tightness in your stomach. you clench around his fingers as you feel yourself coming undone. his fingers don’t stop moving inside you, fucking into you roughly as you cum on them. your legs start to shake even more than they were before, he slowly pulls his fingers out after you completely finish.
he grabs your face gently to make you look at him. he then starts to lick his fingers clean, savoring the taste of you on his tongue. your breath quickens at the sight.
“hyuck.” you whimper softly, he smiles and pulls you to sit up, making you sit on his lap. he grips onto your hips tightly, making you grind into him slowly, your wetness seeping through his sweatpants.
“do you want me to fuck you?” he asks, rubbing one of your thighs while continuing to grind against him. you nod quickly, biting your bottom lip while looking at him. he shakes his head and pushes your hair away of your face.
“you can speak, you know? use your words.” he teases. you breathe in slowly and look at his lips, “yes, i want you to.” you breathe out slowly. he nods and tilts his head to the side. his hand moves from your side up to your chest, gently squeezing your boob through your bra.
“please, i need you.” you whimper softly while looking at him. your cheeks feel warm, probably a few shades pinker than usual. he smiles softly and nods, getting off of you to pull off his shirt. then, pushing down his sweatpants, his bulge very evident in his boxers.
he pushes his boxers down quickly, feeling eager to be inside you. "you ready?" he asks softly while slowly starting to rub his tip up and down your folds. you whimper softly and nod, spreading your legs just a bit more to give him better access.
he slowly pushes into you, a small grunt leaves his mouth as you squeeze around him. "so fucking tight." he whispers while he moves his hips a bit more. he leans down and nuzzles his face in your neck, breathing heavily as he thrusts into you slowly. your hands fall from his arms to the bed sheets, gripping tightly on the fabric.
he continues to thrust into you, hitting deeper with every movement. your breath hitches as you feel him pull out almost all the way. he suddenly pushes back into you roughly, not hard enough to hurt you.
“feel good, baby? fucking take it.” he grunts, his voice deeper than the last time he spoke. you nod quickly and grip onto his shoulder again, your other hand resting on his back. he starts to pound into you, gentle but still rough.
“im close.” he whines out as his hand finds it way lower, eventually finding your clit and rubbing gently. you let out a breathy moan as his fingers come in contact with it.
he speeds up his movements even more, the rubbing of his fingers on your clit start to sync with his thrusts.
“im gonna cum.” you cry out. “yeah? cum for me.” he says softly, not slowing down on his movements at all. your legs start to shake as you get closer. your nails dig into his back as he thrusts relentlessly into you.
you shut your eyes tightly as you feel yourself cumming, you unintentionally clench around his cock as you do so, causing him to whimper and shake his head. before you know it, haechan’s warm cum is spilling deeply into you. he pants heavily, still buried inside you.
he pulls his head away from your neck and kisses your lips gently, his hands kneading your boobs gently. he continues to kiss your lips, the kisses becoming a bit sloppy as he pulls out of you.
he leans back and watches as his cum slowly leaks out onto the sheets, staining them. his breath hitches at the sight, he looks up at you after a while as well, taking in your tired appearance.
he lays down next to you, rubbing your waist with his hand as he breathes heavily. “was that good?” he looks up at you. “yeah, it was.” you smile tiredly.
“we should take a bath before you sleep.” he suggests while looking at you. “no, im so tired.” you whine and shake your head. “fine.” he sighs softly, laughing softly a bit after because of your laziness.
“goodnight. i love you, baby.” he kisses your forehead gently and closes his eyes. “goodnight, hyuck. i love you too.” you whisper softly, your eyes slowly closing.
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note . . .
thank you so much for reading! i hope this wasnt too bad 😭 i haven’t written anything in a while so this is probably choppy af. i plan on being more active from now on hopefully! (no promises) i also want to thank everyone for the love and support on all of my last stories. i didn’t think they would get as much attention as they did and im so grateful. thank you! 💞
#kpop#nct 127#nct dream#nct fanfic#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct smut#nct u#nct x reader#wayv#lee haechan#haechan#haechan smut#lee donghyuck#donghyuck smut#haechan x reader
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I’ve been thinking about in-universe media so. Heh. Why don’t we tumblrify the ending of the rottmnt movie
Update: here’s part 2 and 3+3.5
💫silent_swirl Follow
Nice knowing you guys
🥐ittybittyypastrypuff Follow
Wtf??? Where do you live?
⏱️lordoftimeandspace Follow
You can’t just ask someone where they live
💰rhymeonthedime Follow
op must be from new york. i’ve been trying to text my sister who lives there all day and when she finally gets back to me, it’s to send me a photo of her being chased by some weird??? fleshy???? car? i think the pink stuff was growing inside of it?
🥐ittybittyypastrypuff Follow
The hell is happening in your city?
🔥guess-ill-die Follow
The end of the world
🐛lugbugg Follow
🎙️do-re-mimimi Follow
Where else would you learn that?
14,056 notes
🚀jj-sails Follow
Alien invasion???? This is not how Jupiter Jim said it would go
267 notes
🦙dramallama Follow
So who had alien invasion on the 2020 apocalypse bingo card
🤠see-you-in-space-cowboy Follow
At this point no one is surprised
#give it two months. somehow something will find a way to top this
12,435 notes
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
I lived bitch
🌑faded-moonlight Follow
Context?
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
No ✨
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🎨 asprinkleofrazzmatazz Follow
Sorry everyone ::> ︵ <:: No more art until my hands are healed up. Doctor’s orders
🧸bear-with-me Follow
Are you okay? 🥺🥺💞
🎨 asprinkleofrazzmatazz Follow
♡ ♡ Achy. But I realllllly want to drawwwwwww
#I have so many ideas right now #currently trying and failing to draw with feet #but I am determined
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👾aliens-among-us Follow
Time to storm Area 51 again
#they can’t stop all of us #look I just want to see aliens in person okay #if they can’t invade my city then what’s the point #I know they have to be keeping some of those pink blobs in there
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🟦 outoftouchoutoftime Follow
Hello
🏒 hockeyordeath Follow
JUNIOR! HELLO
I SEE YOU HAVE DISCOVERED THE INTERNET
🟦 outoftouchoutoftime Follow
It’s Sensei’s fault
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
#I?????? #don’t just look at me it was purple too
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🛸 atomiclass9000 Follow
I smell the scent of betrayal in the air.
#not science posting #blue I’m looking at you
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✍️writingprompts Follow
You are a time traveller sent back to stop the apocalypse before it ever began. Only problem is: you aren’t sent back far enough.
🟦 outoftouchoutoftime Follow
Relatable
💥zipzapzoom Follow
Umm???
4,522 notes
🕜has-lou-jitsu-been-found-yet Follow
Day 3667 of me posting: no
🪽angelofhell Follow
Wow this blog is dedicated
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🐝 dizzee-bee Follow
Why do aliens always invade NYC? What’s so special? Why don’t they ever invade Las Vegas huh? What about Boston? Where are my aliens in D.C? So many cities and you’re telling me they chose New York? If aliens really did invade I bet you they wouldn’t even come near it
🐝 dizzee-bee Follow
This post… aged
🐾 ultimate_cataclysm Follow
Pay up op
1,356 notes
🦊redfoxtrott Follow
there’s something weird going on in this city. remember that time at the stadium? suddenly it’s a free for all on world domination i swear
🪩glitter-jam Follow
I thought the whole stadium thing was a publicity stunt
👋saysayonara Follow
I thought that was a rogue cosplayer
#for real though. What even happened to them?
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🌎yes-the-earth-is-flat Follow
Wow. So tumblr thinks it can gaslight me int thinking aliens exits huh? Well think again
🌎yes-the-earth-is-flat Follow
Stop bringing up my username. You know im right
2,488 notes
🏒 hockeyordeath Follow
NO, MY KEYBOARD IS NOT STUCK LIKE THIS. EVERY LETTER I TYPE IS AS IT IS MEANT TO BE SAID. WITH PURPOSE AND VOLUME.
🏒 hockeyordeath Follow
IF MY USERNAME COULD BE IN CAPITALS YOU KNOW IT WOULD BE
🛸 atomiclass9000 Follow
I can help with this
#give me one minute and some flavourless juice
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💃disco-girl Follow
My apartment was almost flattened by a giant freakin robot a few years back. And now aliens????? I’m moving
#guys I’m just. So. Done with all of this
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🎙️do-re-mimimi Follow
So did the aliens just up and leave? What’s the story here?
🎩man-with-a-top-hat Follow
There have been various sightings of lights across the sky. I have not been able to find any reliable sources on the cause, but the general consensus is the lights pushed the aliens back where they came from.
🦇batarang Follow
This photo of some person swinging around the city has been making rounds on twitter
🐚seashellsshesells Follow
Pretty lights and vigilantes?
5,993 notes
❌cant-think-of-a-user Follow
So what are we calling these aliens? They need a cool, alien sounding name ‘cuz all I’ve been seeing around is ‘land squids’, ‘brain goop’ and shoutout to that one discord user who used the words ‘pink gelatinous parsnip’ to describe them.
👊punch-moodi Follow
Have they ever seen a parsnip before?
🤏deadly-nerve-pinch Follow
What about Utroms? They kinda look like the aliens from Jupiter Jim’s Last Trip to the Moon 9
❌cant-think-of-a-user Follow
Isn’t your fandom super dead?
🤏deadly-nerve-pinch Follow
Say that to our 80+ movies. Your faves could never
🚀jj-sails Follow
Fandom still going strong 💪
🍎almond-apple Follow
Why does everyone keep on calling them aliens? Are we sure they’re not just failed government test subjects? Haven’t there been mutant sightings in NYC before?
❌cant-think-of-a-user Follow
Sorry, mutants???
👾aliens-among-us Follow
Nah it’s defo aliens
❌cant-think-of-a-user Follow
#so far 3 votes for Utroms and 22 for parsnips #sigh
3,751 notes
🫎duck-duck-moose Follow
Children are terrifying
💤needsomezzzzzzz Follow
Agreed. But I feel like there’s a story here
🫎duck-duck-moose Follow
Was walking back from work, and I was like nearly home right? I turn a corner and there: a sea of cheering girl scouts. Who are they cheering on you ask? Their… cult (?) leader? Tearing one of those aliens apart with her bare hands. And the kids are just laughing and some are even joining in? They must have nerves of steel
💤needsomezzzzzzz Follow
Woah
🌽 sherlock_corn Follow
@ HOCKEYORDEATH Hey look at this
372 notes
💀outoftouchoutoftime Follow
Set a profile picture because apparently everyone’s blocking me thinking I’m a bot?
🥊 red_hotsoup Follow
Sorry CJ
9 notes
asprinkleofrazzmatazz said: Spread the sunshine ☀️ Post this in at least 5 ask boxes to let them know they make you happy
🥊 red_hotsoup Follow
Aww, hey Orange
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Hey, where’s my ask
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Orange?
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Oh
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asprinkleofrazzmatazz said: Spread the bugs 🪳 Post this in at least 5 ask boxes to let them know they’re bugging you
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Two can play at this game
🎨asprinkleofrazzmatazz Follow
Jk ☀️☀️☀️
29 notes
🛸 atomiclass9000 Follow
I remember the good old days on tumblr. Back when my brothers didn’t know the name of my account. Back when they didn’t bug me in my inbox
🍞shortbutsweetbread Follow
Then make another one?
🛸 atomiclass9000 Follow
Gasp. And leave behind a username such as this? I’m attached.
🌽 sherlock_corn Follow
What about your sister?
🛸 atomiclass9000 Follow
You’re fine
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Favouritism
128 notes
🐱sophinophie Follow
Whoever you heroes are
Thank you.
❤️🧡💜💙
#I don’t know how you did it. Or what you even look like #but one thing is for sure and that’s that you are heroes
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#rottmnt#Fakeposting#socmed fic#Rottmnt fic#social media fic#rottmnt movie#post rise movie#casey jones jr#rottmnt leo#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt cassandra jones#rottmnt april#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#bread fic#rise of the tmnt#I was meant to be finishing off the last chapter of my fic#But here we are#Swearing#but it’s minimal#Hopefully it’s clear which character is which user
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