#rewatching until dawn has made me recontextualize a lot of things both in real life and in the game but for now im going to talk about the
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computerpeople ยท 2 years ago
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my stomach freaking hurts
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#im going to be personal in the tags for a moment. nothing too bad just talking#rewatching until dawn has made me recontextualize a lot of things both in real life and in the game but for now im going to talk about the#in real life. i was best friends with someone named chris from ages 11 to 18. we dated for a MAJORITY of those years. he was my best frien#friend irl and we did almost everything together and were insanely codependent on eachother#he was extremely abusive. mostly emotionally/physically. he was also ableist#i was convinced i abused him for years until i reached out to an ex friend of ours (his ex gf. my ex bff. i introduced them)#and she proceeded to tell me he also physically/emotionally abused her in the same ways and would make fun of me constantly#in their relationship. he had a weird obsession with me. hes the reason i was witch hunted off tumblr for kinning ouma and all that harras#harrassment i got and still continue to get on my more popular rp accs. he stalked me irl. would learn my work schedules and usual routines#to show up and watch me to it. he also brought his girlfriend my ex friend with him multiple times and used her email to make accs to stalk#me. she apologized for that. i forgive her because she was also being abyused by him at the time. i get it#but the thing is until dawn and chris are inherently connected because they were our core kins for years. obviously.#he still goes by chris irl. ive gone by a different name because the association scared me#but i dont know. ive been given time to process everything outside of a family that LOVED him and his family#and refused tyo believe any of this and that it was 'that bad' and thought i was a bad person for not giving him a chance#and i dont know#until dawn but specifically realizing that chris IN GAME sucks too has like. made me really really examine how badlyall of that affectyed m#and attempt to process it and move on and i feel like this is just. helping me a lot#i feel like its helped me get more affectionate with my current partner and be more comfortable and happy around them instead of walking on#egg shells. and i feel like its been helping me work on my internalized ableism too#its just been nice#txt#abuse //
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