#im laughing at my own writing

[plasticbagdepot]

Buck: “See Eddie, we were inevitable. There’s only so much homoerotic co-parenting that can happen before you kiss your best friend.”

[bombshelllblonde]

a snippet

a piece from the colter chapter uwu

XXX

“Hello, Arthur,” Abigail said, looking up at the tall man.

          Arthur leaned down by the fire to try to keep himself warm. “Abigail,” he responded.

          She stood up and walked near him. She had an eager expression on her face, but didn’t want to say what she was thinking out loud. “Arthur…how you doing?”

          He picked up on her tone and faced her. She wanted to ask him something. “Just fine, Abigail…and you?”

          Abigail looked down for a moment. “I need you to-“

          Arthur huffed and rolled his eyes.

          “I’m sorry. I’m sorry to ask, but-“

          “It’s little John. He’s got himself caught into a scrape again,” Arthur finished for her.

          Abigail stood up tall. “He ain’t been seen in two-“ she stopped herself and took a breath, hopeful to calm herself a bit. “Two days,”

          “Your John’ll be fine,” Arthur spat. “I mean, he may be as dumb as rocks and as dull as rusted iron, but that ain’t changing because he got caught in some snowstorm.”

          Eleanor let out a cold laugh behind everyone. “Maybe he’s frozen somewhere,” she looked straight at Abigail. “Maybe he’s dead,” she called out, her hands cupped around her mouth to project and echo louder.

          At that moment, Hosea gave a swift smack to the back of Eleanor’s head. Thankfully the layers of scarves wrapped around her head protected her from blunt force to her skull. She looked to her right and saw Hosea frowning at her. She shrugged her shoulders at Abigail and sheepishly looked at Hosea with apologetic eyes.

          “That’s enough outta you,” Hosea said firmly. “Or I’ll send you on your own to find your brother in this weather.” It was an empty threat, sending her out by herself, but Hosea was getting tired of the constant feud between with two Marston siblings. Eleanor sank into her chair without another word – out of all the people in the gang, the last person she wanted to be angry with her was Hosea.

[izel-scribbles]

just finished malevolent relisten. needless to say the obsession has been rekindled tenfold its previous magnitude

[lovesickeros]

can.. can I ask for an affectionate reader with characters who aren’t normally like… used to the love? like, not just through words but physical affection like hand-holding, kisses, hugs, all that shebang. probably with a few people like yelan, ei, basically any character that is either cut-off from society or seems socially distant or isolated. 😞

☆ affectionate reader with yelan, ei, & furina

[ 4.2 Archon Quest spoilers ]

× yelan

Varies between how you display your affection, to be honest. Just like being affectionate with people? She's cool with it as long as you don't pop by while she's working (mostly because she'll end up dragging you into it for a bit of fun). I don't think she's all that touchy feely herself, but she'll absolutely get you gifts instead– like pretty knick nacks? She'll make sure to snag any she thinks you might like. Like a good meal? Sure, she'll take you out to one of the restaurants in the city, doesn't matter how expensive. Her treat. If you do prefer physical gifts rather then being taken out, you'll eventually get used to the random unmarked letters and packages showing up where your staying pretty often. It's obvious to know who it came from even if she never signs anything.

Flirty reader, though? Whole nother can of worms and now it's a challenge. The more confident you are the more interested she is. The other acolytes would absolutely seethe at the idea but she has no hesitation at just straight up flirting back– she's as charismatic as they come and she's got a poker face that's basically impenetrable. She'll probably also make a bet to see who cracks first (she always wins, unsurprisingly). Probably won't get dragged into any of her schemes this way but if you ask politely maybe she'll consider it, anyway.

The smell of freshly brewed tea and the clatter of dice across wood was a common sight at the Yanshang Teahouse– less common was the woman secluded in the far corner, her lips pulled into a grin that flashed fangs and a look that would scare off the most confident of men.

She'd normally try to scope out any new blood that'd made the mistake of stepping into her teahouse and was equally stupid enough to accept a gamble against her just for the thrill of it, but she was far too absorbed in the warm body at her side, one of her die clasped tightly in their hand as she guided them through the motions– they had a knack for it, she had to admit. The thought made her preen, the clatter of the die as it rolled across the table giving her that subtle, familiar rush.

Even if she knew exactly where it'd land.

"Six. Hm, maybe you're just lucky," She muses, plucking the die from the table and holding it up to her eye like a prized jewel, "Or maybe you're not as innocent as you'd have us believe." There's a sharp glint in her eyes at the prospect, but everyone else has the sense to keep their heads down and their words to themselves as she tosses the die herself.

"So why don't we find out and make a bet, just between you and me?"

× ei

Varies between Ei and the Shogun, because you'll probably be seeing either as much as the other. Sometimes you gotta really squint to tell who it is sometimes, but you get used to it. Both are fairly similar, though, in that their first instinct (especially in public) is to tense up like you're about to attack them or something. Difference is Ei eventually relaxes after a solid minute of trying to process your sudden affection and, if no one else is around, she might even reciprocate. Just don't tease her for being a little stiff and awkward about it, she's trying. That's what happens when your only company is a robot and uh. Nothing. For like 500 years. She's trying. Raiden, on the other hand, is just about as awkward as you can imagine. She's polite (blunt) about it because Ei is fond of you and also you are. The Creator. But she's not really built to deal with personal relationships and so she doesn't know how to deal with affection.

..Depending on what you do you may or may not blue screen Ei hard enough that she retreats back to PoE

Ei usually isn't fond of sitting still, unless it's to meditate. At least then she goes in with a purpose, something to achieve– but now, she's just focused on trying not to make a fool of herself. Her muscles are starting to ache from how hard she's tensing, though, in an effort to sit as straight and still as possible as their hands glide through her hair, weaving it into a single braid.

She can just barely hear the subtle lilt of their voice as they hum– and though it is soothing, it is also..very distracting. She can't focus long enough to try and meditate, too lost in the gentle rise and fall of their voice and the care they take to braid her hair. If she'd had a heart, she'd sure it'd be beating so wildly against her ribcage they could hear it.

But then it stops– their hands fall back to their sides and their humming falters. She freezes, too, racking her brain for any slights she must have committed. Instead, she is met with a calm, tender touch on the back of her neck, making her inhale sharply.

"Am I making you uncomfortable, Ei? You're so tense.." She has to grit her teeth to stop herself from bowing so low her head presses against the ground, her hands folded in her lap, clenching instinctively. "..No, Divine One." She answers simply, trying to contain the adoration swelling in her chest.

Yet as much as she tries to relax, to ease their worries, she finds that she cannot.

"Hm." That small murmur, a simple sound that nearly made her jump, was the only warning she got before they scooted closer, wrapping their arms around her stomach and resting their chin on her shoulder with a grin she would liken to Miko's, if she dared to make such a comparison. "Really?"

She swears she must've been feverish at the affection, lightheaded and dazed until she thought she might simply perish at the brush of their hands against her own.

Much to her embarrassment, however, she doesn't realize she's instinctively pulled back into Plane of Euthymia until she sees the familiar dull purples engulf her vision once again.

Though only a small solace, it seemed a little..brighter, this time.

× furina

Varies between pre 4.2 and post 4.2 archon quests to be honest.

Pre 4.2 she comes off as very vain– of course the most Divine would see fit to spoil her with affection! She deserves it, and is obviously their favorite! Just don't look too hard because she's terrible at hiding how flustered she actually is. Absolutely goes home right after and screams into her pillow for at least thirty minutes minimum.

Post 4.2 she's a lot more openly bashful and flustered. She's really not used to affection and even the smallest show of it has her folding immediately. Now that she doesn't need to worry about being found out she's a lot more receptive to affection. Cup her cheeks and compliment her and her knees are buckling. Like. Especially weak for compliments and praise (she deserves it. please spoil her).

She swears she must be hallucinating– she had been having trouble sleeping recently. But..no. The visage of the Creator was as real as the sweat beading on her brow as she stared at them for a long, awkward moment. Should..she let them in? But then they'd see the pathetic state she was in, and the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool of herself in front of them-!

Her choice was quickly made for her, anyway, as she let out an undignified squeak of surprise when they suddenly tugged her forward into their chest, enclosing her in a hug.

Her first reaction was to freeze– her second was becoming absolutely flustered, her cheeks flushing a soft pink and her mouth closing and opening as she tried to find her words.

"I– ah..um." She stumbled over her words instead, floundering like a fish out of water. Yet she felt a distinct sense of emptiness wash over her when they finally pulled back, looking a touch sheepish. "Sorry, sorry– you just looked like you needed a hug."

The silence spoke for itself, her shoulders tensing slightly. But the way the concern and affection bled through their voice made her waver, her hands trembling as she let out a shaky breath that almost sounded like a sigh.

"It's..It's fine! Fine, I'm fine." She repeated, trying desperately to ignored the way her voice cracked and how hot her face felt– though it was more an attempt to affirm herself that she was not thinking about how warm they felt, how much she..actually enjoyed the hug. She wasn't thinking about it all! Absolutely not!

..Maybe a little.

"Just warn me next time, please?"

[frango-maconheiro]

wow, wow, interaction.

also, there's a stupid meaningless ramble i made out of this incredible petpeeve of mine with EW x reader stuff and it's just down the cut sggkjdfjkk (it's fr just me being extremely salty)

Anyway, hello!

Haha, my curious and lonely ass really thought it was a clever idea to read 'eddsworld x reader' content because it spawned in my timeline.... thinking that maaaybe they actually got good at it and made not too ooc stuff (this is heeeeaavily on matt content)

Now, i am profoundly remorseful of that choice because when i wrote this hours ago woth no wifi, i was arguing with the air.

Like, i won't lie on this. EW x reader.. They have evolved, a loooot since those 2017 fanfics (why were the x yn fics from eddsworld all copy-paste back then???) actually, it really surprised me because i definitely don't have the most cool memories of such fanfics,, Buuuuut, they still have that STUPID FAVORITISM. IT'S SO DAMN APPARENT. YOU THINK WE CAN'T SEE IT???

i get madder from down this line, especially since i was veery hungry when writing this. That's why you should always stay fed, keeps you slightly happier.

nhamnhamnhamm, writes aaall cool stuff for edd, tom 'n tord... maybe with an ooc here and there, but enough to ignore,, but matt? Matt gets so ooc, he can be mistaken for an oc if no name is given.

like,,, did.. did we watch the same dude on screen? i know he was pretty neglected in content, but cmon, what is that?? He's practically a romance repellent with his stupidity (said affectionately)

it's the same 'pipipipopopo just a sweet mama's boy' and 'ooo, he's sooo romantic, look at how much of gentleman he is compared to otheeeers' and 'whaao he so silly ::3 *treats him as if he weren't an adult character' and so much more, all in this weird stereotype

I guess i'm just disappointed,,, all because he just, idk, still feels downright boring compared to how the other 3 are written in these kind of fanfics even thought it's 2024 already and not still 2017-2020 (don't even get me started on the weird fixation on making yn extremely specific which fr also makes me crawl away like a wet cat from EW reader interactive content, they don't even put tags of the gender, aaaaaargh).

y'all definitely have more content of him to write than just the saturation of him painting your nails, or going shopping, or acting like he's the center of the world 24/7, or making him the pure lil' angel, or having his memory issues being downplayed as him acting 'so silly lil' silly', i assure you.

When i tell you i got so invested in this useless anger i mean that i got compelled into writing down a bunch of matt x reader to try and give that man a cooler image,,, and i don't even see him that way (nor any of the characters.) , but GOD ARGHHHV I NEED JUSTICE FOR HIM.

i might be just a lil' hot headed while writing this whole stuff, but this bro got stripped out of BOTH his classic and his modern funky personality in 99% of these fanfics and nobody bats an eye, like, ever, unless they're another fan of the character. Free my ginger rat, pleeeeaaaaseee.

I need any weirdo, edgy, funky, unusual, vampire, zombie(heavily on you zombie matt my beloved), slasher, funny, whack matt written content that is not only interactive BUT friendly to all readers...

i don't even care what Matt is written, modern, or classic. Both types have their own weirdo charm, and i am willing to analyze them for a nice oneshot or spitball post.... where you don't get to a restaurant/picnic and receives flowers and it ends like that, without any more depth of such cute cliche fluff it is, and leaving you like you just licked off the scraps of a dessert from a plate given to you, so damn hungry 'n wishing you had eaten an actual dessert instead of whatever that was.

[cobaltfluff]

what is his deal ???

[im-getting-help]

i miss saltburn??

i feel myself slowly drifting back into the IT fandom again and im sad

[postergadorart]

i said i love zelink

[cloudberriess]

DSMP Fics

(that I recommend)

(I have not actually finished all of these so if you see smth nasty I promise I don't know about it- Though do tell me so I can remove it from the list, thanks :D)

ROYAL AU 🜲

Butterfly Reign: By SilentTeyz

The royal family of Antarctic empire isn’t exactly close. Emperor Philza is always occupied; Tommy hasn’t seen Techno in months, and even if Wilbur is here, their relationship can be described to be strained at best. The royal family doesn’t need to be close, however, it only needs to be balanced, like the pillars holding the country above their heads – as long as they are strong and steady, the Empire will be too. It’s the principle that held Tommy’s back straight and his shoulders broad through the years of hardships and trials of errors; through yet another formal meeting where his father’s gaze would look past him and where his brother’s words would be filled with poison that makes the deepest parts of his soul ache. At that time, Tommy couldn't know that his family would find a replacement for him in the face of a commoner boy named Ranboo. Tommy's family has replaced him. It's only fair that he gets to do the same.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 39/50

https://archiveofourown.org

I was a kid in a village, doing alright, then I became a prince overnight: By sircantus

(Yes the title is from sofia the first, yes I'm laughing at it, I find it funny-) In which Phil has created the Antarctic Empire from the ground up and takes in Techno and Wilbur along the way, and raises them while also ruling his kingdom. Tommy, sixteen, lives with Tubbo in an orphanage, the two of them running around in the cold streets of their town. After a hectic day of getting separated from Tubbo, getting into a few fights, and ending up in an entirely new town, he comes across Phil, and saves him from an assassination attempt by smashing a plate over someone's head. So then both Techno and Wilbur decide to see who this kid is, and Tommy sure is endearing, in the way that the first time they spy on him, he starts a fight in an alleyway over a bag of cookies.

(and then Tommy basically gets kidnapped into the royal family, but like, legally, y’know?)

Status: Finished

Chapters: 28

https://archiveofourown.org

Who the Ever-Loving F*** made me a prince?: By sherashalala

Tommy wakes up in a book he's read once before, now casted as an infant prince named Theseus-- that would have been fine if this infant isn't destined to die at the age of fifteen by the hands of his own royal brother. Tommy as Theseus will not have that. He'll be changing a few things in here. For one, he will not be called Theseus. That's such a gaudy name. Who the hell chose that-? Oh right. The brother who is going to execute him. ---

OR The SBI Who Made Me A Princess AU we all needed. OR OR Tommy gets stuck inside a book and he has to use childish charm to change fate.

Status: Unfinished/Discontinued

Chapters: 27

https://archiveofourown.org

the curious tale of a not so lost runaway prince: By xMultiFandomsx

Tommy is the youngest prince of the Antarctic Empire who's fed up with being ignored by his family so he takes matters into his own hands. He begins to sneak out from the palace into the city nearby in hopes to catch someone's attention. It's there he begins to form a new sort of family. He experiences life like never before: discovering friendship, running from criminals, and (most importantly) eating wonderful foods.

-or- Prince Tommy was sick of his family forgetting about him and tries to get their attention which ends up leading him right into the arms of a whole new one. Will Tommy's royal life get in the way of his new city life? Will the royal family finally notice their youngest prince? There's only one way to find out.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 18

https://archiveofourown.org

TANGLED AU 𖤓

The Golden Phoenix: By emiartse

In his dreams, there had always been a voice. A soft melodic voice that sang their mother's lullaby. A more monotonous, but just as loving voice that promised he'd teach him to fight one day, once he was old enough of course. The doting voice of a mother laughs with a toddler as she gently tries to fix a small crown onto the boy's brow. And then there was the gentle voice of a father, that promised to always keep him safe from those who'd do them harm. And in the morning when the boy would awake, he'd wonder who exactly he needed to be protected from. "Tommy?" A voice called out from the doorway and Tommy grinned gleefully at the sight of his older brother. "Dream!" He yelled, stumbling out of bed and into his arms, hugging the man tight. His brother returned the hug in kind, his hands pressing warmly into the spot on his back where his wings would ignite from for the first time in a few days, fully grown. Surely Dream was all the protection Tommy would ever need in this world, right? A knot of doubt coiled tightly in his chest. -------------------------------------

AKA The DSMP Tangled AU nobody asked for.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 35/37

https://archiveofourown.org

The Ballad of Theseus: By Bumblebeeii

News said the Queen and her unborn child were sick. Rumours said the Kings guard were looking for a magic flower to quell all sickness, a flower that could pull someone back even from the brink of death. To the people of the Antarctic empire and greater lands beyond, the flower was nothing but a legend, forged many millennia ago. The story had quickly became one of myth, and was lost to the ever moving sands of time… —————————————————— When Tommy and Tubbo cross paths, an unforeseen pact is forged. Will their alliance rewrite destiny's design? ——————————————————

AKA a Tangled AU featuring Tommy, SBI, Tubbo, Dream and everyone else.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 15/22

https://archiveofourown.org

healing (in more ways than one): By orphan_account

For his entire life, Tommy dreamed of seeing the floating lights in person. His brother Dream, however, won't even let him leave his cottage, let alone go off into the world. With the help of Tubbo, a thief who breaks into his home while hiding from the kingdom, he just might be able to. Tubbo just wants to sell the lost prince's crown in exchange for a healing potion for Ranboo, who is gravely injured. However, when he meets Tommy, a loud teen with healing abilities, he might not have to. After all, he only needs to take the guy to see the lanterns. Easy, right? Princes Wilbur and Technoblade have been trying to track down Tubbo, but they lost him soon after he stole their missing brother's crown. Tubbo and Ranboo have been stealing from the castle for quite some time, but never anything this valuable. And even though they have yet to catch their criminal frenemies in all the years they've known each other, they're determined to get back the crown. -------

or the dream smp tangled au that literally no one asked for but i decided to write anyway

Status: Finished

Chapters: 21

https://archiveofourown.org

Gleam and Glow: By beepers

Long time ago, an ex-deity found a magical flower that made him younger and stronger if you sang to it. Centuries later, the flower is taken away from him to heal the pregnant Queen of L'Manberg. Luckily, she lives and gives birth to third son of King Philza, Tommy. Unfortuantely, Dream cannot live without his precious flower. He steals the golden-haired prince and hides him away from everyone, so no one can take away his youth again. Years later, a boy called Tubbo accidentally discovers a small house hidden in the mountains as he runs from Technoblade and his hounds. A great life-changing adventure has just began.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 27

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

https://archiveofourown.org

Little Flower: By Canadiantardis

The floating lights only came up the night of his birthday, Tubbo had learned. Hundreds upon hundreds of lights floating up the sky, just within view of the opening of the grotto’s opening. While Father had forbidden him from leaving the grotto, there had been a time, on his seventh birthday where he couldn’t sleep and snuck out to watch the sky, to see the moon, when he had seen the floating lights for the first time. Instantly, he had been entranced, and he had watched until he was close to passing out before he hauled himself back to his room, knowing Father would be furious if he found him by the entrance.

Tangled x Platonic Soulmates AU

Status: Finished

Chapters: 15

https://archiveofourown.org

AVIAN AU 𓅪

Avians (The Gods Have Spoken): By Your_Local_Valentine

Techno blade was nobody special. Really, he wasn’t. He was just some homeless rat in the streets, with no purpose in life. He’d been on his own since before he could remember, being raised by any other homeless person on the streets. He was not anyone important. He wasn’t supposed to be important. Until he woke up one day with wings. - Every god has chosen someone to be their angel. The god of Time, Chaos, even Death. They have all chosen their angel to represent them on earth, to protect the mortal plane. People who already had power in the realm- people of royalty. The only one who has never chosen an angel is the God of Blood. They never have. It was speculated that they were evil- that they hated angels and wanted to kill the gods and everyone else. Until that fateful night.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 8/?

https://archiveofourown.org

I'm Not Tired (Please Let Me Sleep): By Nissified

The blonde sighed and closed his eyes, the familiar ringing starting up in his ears again as he started to count backwards from thirty. At twenty, glass shattered and contorted voices screamed in his ears, leaving him almost deaf. He ignored them to the best abilities. At fifteen, he felt the sensation of someone punching him in the face, the pain almost enough to make him open his eyes again. At eight, something stung on his cheek, followed by the sensation of something dribbling down the skin. Something thick and warm. At three, the screeching became unbearable. At two, something snapped his wrist, the dull pain almost enough to pull him out. Almost. At one, he felt the blade of a knife digging into the skin of his throat, the pain would follow soon after. Zero.

or: Tommy is just some random dude who keeps getting attacked in his dreams by a particular bloodthirsty green Teletubby. Unfortunately, this leads to him not sleeping much and passing out on the Syndicate. They're more than just flabbergasted upon finding out he's got no clue who they are

Status: Finished

Chapters: 21

https://archiveofourown.org

Imprinted: By Euripides406BCE

Prompt by @corpseyreads on Twitter: SBI superhero au- where civilian tommy, with newly grown wings, dares to leave his apartment for the first time since manifesting them He doesn't mean to end up in the midst of a hostage situation with the syndicate

Some SBI supervillain madness with some fun Origins shit thrown in!

Status: Finished

Chapters: 40

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

https://archiveofourown.org

Every Flight (Begins With A Fall): By SilentTeyz

The crows continue to surround him. Maybe they know he isn't a real crow, sense the impostor. Tommy would have laughed if it wasn't for the hundred fucking crows watching him like a walking bag of food. He is about to get ejected. He is about to fucking die.

OR Tommy dies in the prison and respawns in the body of a crow. Phil and Techno are clueless that this angry injured fledgling is actually Tommy.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 11

https://archiveofourown.org

VILLAIN AU ☯

the world forgetting by the world forgot: By bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti)

“Something has been stolen from us,” Thanatos said, his wings puffing up as he spoke. “Something that is very important to us. And we are fairly certain that the person who stole this thing of ours is in this very crowd.” Dream tensed beside Tommy as the crowd broke out into murmurs. Eyes were darting towards the different heroes in the crowd, the benefactors no doubt assuming that the culprit had to be a hero. “Like we said, we haven’t crashed your party to cause trouble. But we want this thing returned to us, and we won’t hesitate to take extreme measures to get what we want.”

or, Tommy was a lot of things: a newly debuted hero sidekick, an amnesiac, and a former kidnapping victim of the Syndicate. Tommy didn't actually remember that last one though. That was just what Dream told him. Only weeks after his hero debut, the Syndicate announces they are searching for something, and Tommy knows it has to be him. The scariest part? If they find him, Tommy will have no clue what to expect, because the Syndicate might know him, but he has no memories of them. So he can't let them find him. No matter what. Of course they end up finding him anyway.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 21

https://archiveofourown.org

tommyinnit's clinic for supervillains: By bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti)

“W-What do you- I mean can I- are you here to rob us?” The person managed to stammer out. Siren snorted. “No. I’m just here to order some food.” “Wh-What about him?” The cashier asked, glancing at Tommy. “Did you- did you kidnap him?” “I mean… yeah, let’s go with that in case this ends up on the news,” Siren shrugged, looking back at Tommy. “I kidnapped you, right?” “Yeah, sure,” Tommy agreed, knowing that if they said he was kidnapped, it would keep people from getting suspicious of why he was seen in public with Siren. “Anyway, can I get the chicken nuggets happy meal, with a coke?”

or, how Tommy—who is not a hero, or a villain, or even a vigilante—saves the life of one of L'Manberg's most feared supervillains, and accidentally ends up becoming the resident doctor for every supervillain in town (and maybe gets a family along the way too).

Status: Finished

Chapters: 26

https://archiveofourown.org

Tommy's Ultra-Important Keychain: By SeriouslyCalamitous

“Be my apprentice,” Icarus blurted. Tommy blinked. Gradually, the corners of his mouth dropped into the deepest frown he’d ever made. “What the fuck? Why?” “Why?” Icarus froze and Tommy raised a judgemental eyebrow. “It’s because of your powers.” “My powers,” he echoed. “I never told you whether or not I had powers.” “I can… sense them,” Icarus bullshitted. Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Right. What are they, then,” he retorted. “Uh… super… powers,” the villain answered, sounding more unsure of himself by the second. Tommy wanted to bash his head against a wall. “Really? That’s the best you could do?” ------ Tommy isn’t sure why handing someone their keys is such a big deal, but now he’s left with a huge problem: Every supervillain in the city wants him to be their apprentice!

- or - Tommy’s lame superpower turns out to be a game-changer.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 39/42

https://archiveofourown.org

Tommyinnit’s Guide To Familyfying The Syndicate On Accident: By Six6

He turns to look back and… Is that fire in his apartment? Wait, no - Is that… IS THAT FIRE ON HIS COUCH?!?! Oh, the tragedy. It hurts, it hurts in more ways than one. That couch was Tommy’s whole life, his dreams, his love, his family. And that stupid, motherfucking hero that’s getting beat up in his apartment set it aflame. This is Tommy’s villain arc now. He’s a villain. He’s gonna take down the hero organization and dominate the world. This is his turning point; it’s set. No going back now. Whoever that fucking hero that’s getting beaten up in his apartment deserves what he’s getting right now for what he did to his beloved couch. He deserves worse, actually. Fuck that fiery hero. If he remembers correctly, that fiery hero that’s getting beat up is Hero Flame from the Dream Team, actually. And the one beating him up the way he deserves is… The Blade…? Great. They just broke the floor and fell another story down. The fuckers set the whole apartment aflame, and is that screaming he’s hearing? ~~~~~~~

Or Tommy somehow manages to keep getting himself into very fucked situations and familfys a group of anarchist villians called Syndicate. Did I say familfy? I mean friendify.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 11/?

https://archiveofourown

A Mockingbird In The Crows Nest: By LilBitO_Sunny

“It seems like someone set off multiple bombs at the News Tower. Looks like Pyro’s work- but we can’t be sure. The entire building is on fire, but Soulfire is across the city-” “I’m on it.” He said instantly, cutting her off. “Call Charon and Peleus, too. There might be people trapped on the higher floors and we’ll need to get them out.” Tommy’s excitement screeched to a halt at that. “Get Warden, too. We need someone who can breathe smoke to get in there and help us look.” Erebus continued, but Tommy wasn’t really paying attention. People? What did he mean by people? There weren’t any people in the tower- it was nearly 2 am. Why would there be people at a news station at 2 in the morning?? The Villain League would never intentionally hurt innocent people. Then his ears popped, and he heard the screams. Oh god.. What has he done?

Or: Tommy's a supervillain tasked with going undercover at the Hero's Tower. His job is to gather information, sabotage what he can, get their identities, and get out..But he doesn't expect for people to actually like him. He doesn't expect the enemy to treat him kinder than his own family.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 37

https://archiveofourown.org

run boy, run: By 212rime

Tommy was many things: feared, free, powerful… but he wasn’t proud. He wasn’t proud of the title he had or the name they’d called him, honestly he didn’t think he deserved it. Tommy never had an evil plan, or a secret lair, or any of the cool things villains had. All he had was a shitty apartment and the clothes on his back, and a desire for more. He couldn’t be a civilian, and he certainly wouldn’t be a hero, so he did what he had to do. At fifteen years old, Red Death killed the top heroes in L’Manburg, and Tommy became a villain.

Or: Two years ago, the top heroes of L'Manberg were killed by Red Death. Now, ex-villain Tommy tries to juggle the fallout while also forging new relationships, some of which may be more complicated than they seem.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 23

https://archiveofourown.org

Everything Will Be Okay: By erynestel

So, Tommy was pretty sure he was in a video game. How he came to that conclusion, you might ask? Oh, well, you know, he just went to sleep one night in the bedroom he shared with the two other kids at his latest foster home, clutching Henry to his chest and trying to ignore the snores from the bed across the room – and then woke up somewhere else. In an alley. A fucking dirty alley overflowing with trash, he might add. He was pretty sure he’d even heard rats scattering around somewhere. It also had been winter, the morning air cold and quickly seeping through his thin pyjama. The only other thing he’d had with him were Henry and his blanket, laying on the ground. You know, just your typical Tuesday.

OR Tommy wakes up in a world where the new video game everyone is talking about is *very* real. That includes the three main villains, heads of an organization called ‘The Syndicate’. But it’s totally fine! He just has to make sure he never meets them – he’s got a feeling they won’t be pleased about another crow hybrid in an otherwise hybrid-less world.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 2

Extra: I usually wouldn't add in ones this short but this is like in my top three DSMP fanfics

https://archiveofourown.org

One Man's Trash: By SilverWing15

The kid is glaring down at him and eating a partially moldy apple like he’s daring Wilbur to come fight him for it. “What the fuck?” Wilbur says. The kid takes a huge chunk out of the apple and definitely doesn't chew it enough before he swallows. “You got a fucking problem, asshole?” “I mean...kind of?” Wilbur says. “There’s a child eating literal garbage in front of me so I feel like that’s a bit concerning.” “Shouldn’t you be robbing a bank or getting your ass kicked by superheroes?” “Shouldn’t you be in school?” The kid snarls wordlessly and chucks an empty carton from some chinese place at him. “Fuck off man. Forget this dump.” “What, you know a better one to eat from?” “I know one that doesn’t have a fucking weirdo supervillain in it!” The kid slams the lid of the dumpster down. Rude.

Or: It was only a matter of time before I did a superhero AU

Status: Finished

Chapters: 17

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

https://archiveofourown.org

FANTASY AU ✧

bones in the ocean: By bunflower

“The Angel of Death, the ferryman of the Styx, the terror of the western seas. One of the most feared captains ever to sail, and yet, I have to wonder… how did a man like you end up all on his own? We searched the area where you were found—not another soul in sight. So,” He fixes him with a long look, allowing the silence to hover like a dark cloud, the words rolling off of his tongue with all the venom and smugness he can muster, “—tell me, Philza. Where is your crew?” —

OR: Technoblade is a naval captain, and Phil his unwilling prisoner. Somehow, they manage to come out of it as friends in the end.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 19

https://archiveofourown.org

Only at the Ocean Floor: By Kokichis_Panta

Tommy has never been one to get too close to the surface. He's been above it a few times just for a couple of seconds, but he never saw anything interesting. Though after he started to keep an eye on the surface more, he'd sometimes spot a large shadow trail past him. It would usually drop down ropes weaved together that would pick up fish and bring them back up to the surface. He had to admit that he grew jealous with how easily it picked up a hundred fish and had tried to craft his own out of seaweed. It didn't work. He supposed it wasn't that much of a loss. After all, siren claws were sharper than mermaids, he could hunt better than Niki anyway, he didn't need a fish catching contraption. Though when he told the girl about his discoveries, she quickly forbade him from ever nearing the shadows again, especially the weaved ropes they dropped into the water. Fine. He could just look at them from a distance. Until, he got too curious. So curious that he peaked his head above the water just for a second. It was an interesting sight to say the least. That shadow wasn't exactly just a shadow, and for some reason there were some strange creatures on it. Ones with two flesh sticks for a tail.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 4/?

https://archiveofourown.org

Few Mercies For Fools: By MathanLin

“Bullshit. That’s the dumbest thing you could do.” “And why would that be?” Too many responses to count flashed through Tommy’s mind. This man was going to kill him, there was no denying that. No denying that Tommy had been stupid. That mantra had gotten him through the night, sure, but it wasn’t true, and now he was going to die. In the forest, he didn't know what was coming to kill him. Now, though, he knew it would be this man, with his soft cloak and softer eyes, Tommy wasn’t so afraid. Might as well encourage him to make it quick. “Because I know where you live, you rebel fuck,” he spat. “I know exactly where we are.” ///

Or, the SBI coven adopts a foul-mouthed child soldier with trust issues.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

MODERN AU ⾕

there's something about the soots: By No_one_you_know

It’s common knowledge that you’re supposed to avoid the Soots. Sure, the father, Phil, is nice, but his three sons are most definitely crazy The oldest- Techno, talks to himself, and there are rumors that he killed someone once. Wilbur is an actual psychopath- he was the one that burnt down the barn all those years ago. And Tommy? He’s just… Weird. Tubbo is new to town, having just moved in with his cousins, Fundy and Niki. He doesn’t know the rules. Which is why he approaches Tommy one day, and his whole world is changed.

Tubbo and the Sleepy Boys Inc. There's kind of a light magic system involved but it's not convoluted i swear

Status: Finished

Chapters: 26

https://archiveofourown.org

Build This Unsteady Bridge: By odymcbea

Wilbur was exhausted. It was raining and his throat hurt and with every step, Tommy was getting heavier in his arms. But he’d already made the kid walk so far today and in all honesty, Wilbur would rather deal with sore arms than a six year old’s tears of exhaustion. Finally, Wilbur stumbled onto the street they tentatively— and illegally— called home. It was lined with identical townhouses, one of which was currently empty. They’d been squatting in it for nearly a month now. It wasn’t the safest place they’d ever slept, but when it came to insulating them from the winter chill, Wilbur would give it five stars on any hotel website. Unfortunately, the window he climbed through was not the one they'd been using these past few weeks. This window belonged to the most terrifying man Wilbur had ever laid eyes on.

Or, while on the run, Wilbur and Tommy accidentally break into the wrong house. Technoblade finds them asleep in his living room. Family ensues. Eventually.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 10

https://archiveofourown.org

Home Is Where Your Heart Is: By arcticjaybird

It’s quiet. Tommy doesn’t like it when it’s quiet.

Tommy was loud. Tommy was combative and hostile and defensive and aggressive. Tommy was destructive. He knows he’s a problem child, constantly getting into trouble and wrecking any semblance of a family he might have left. But he doesn’t stop- he prefers the disgusted looks and constant new faces to the heartbreak that comes with caring. Tommy’s been bounced from home to home for most of his adolescence. This place is supposed to be a new start with people who care, but Tommy can’t bring himself to open up. He knows it’ll only end in pain and bitterness. He has his friends and support system, and he tells himself it’s all he needs. “We’re here.” He was told. “Try not to fuck this one up.”

Status: Finished

Chapters: 18

https://archiveofourown.org

Theater Major: By Annex

Tommy hasn't seen or spoken to his brothers in almost seven years. And it was supposed to stay that way. In fact Tommy wasn't ever supposed to see or speak to his brother until they apologized to him. Or at least that's what he thought. Now in his senior year in the most prestigious school in the country due to a very strange set of circumstances, Tommy is shocked to find his out his brothers are coming home a semester early and are going to be staying at home with him again. With his whole world shaken and his perfectly crafted world crumbled by this news, Tommy figure out how to manage his knew home life with his current school life. Not to mention he's also part of the school theatre program that is much more demanding than anything he's ever done before. Tommy has to make it through his last semester of high school, last show with the school that has done so much for him and now his entire schedule and life has been thrown to the wind by his family. And why are they acting like nothings wrong? ----

Or Tommy's a theater kid who now has to deal with fact that his brothers are disrupting the life he had ever so perfectly created in the massive wake they left behind.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 23

https://archiveofourown.org

If I Lie, Maybe I'll Believe It: By weepingvirtue

At sixteen years old, Tommy knew so many things. He knew that people were predictable and selfish. He knew not to trust, not to take, and not to get comfortable for too long. He knew that the concept of family was as fake as the highlights in his last foster mother's hair. Tommy had known for years that life was painful and had no extra love for some ratty foster kid like him. He knew that it was him and his copy of The Odyssey against the whole world. He knew that he only had to survive long enough to make it to his eighteenth birthday before he could escape. But when Tommy ends up fostered in the Watson household completely by chance, he finds that maybe he never knew anything in the first place. //

or, the one in which Tommy Innit has never really experienced love, family, or belonging, and is suddenly surrounded by it all at once.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

His Curse of Binding: by orphan_account

Tommy had lived and died as Theseus, Icarus, Orpheus and Sisyphus. But all he wanted to be was free. In which Tommy Soot, originally born in 1509, is cursed to be reborn, to never reach adulthood unless he figured out the Greek myth of his lifetime. He had one rule of not allowing himself to get attached to people but he would have never guessed that a foster family of the creator of Minecraft, an anime stan and a Soundcloud musician would break that rule.

~ SBI Foster AU but with Greek mythology.

Status: Completed

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

VIGILANTE TOMMY AU ✩

This is Not an Act of Spite: By ellis (ellabellachicketychella)

Could the universe be kind enough, so that Tommy could get a damn break from the mess that is his life? Please? Just for one day. --- Okay, so maybe coming to the interview with a few broken ribs was a bad idea, but what choice did he have? Just not come and keep on being unemployed? Several bad things could happen during his interview, given the circumstances. There was an AI in the building designed by Vulcan which not only kept unwanted people from getting in, it scanned people for any unauthorized weapons or injuries. There was also the problem with his illegal documents since he wasn't an actual adult. But the biggest risk is that the job is at a hero organization. And he's a vigilante. Which are highly illegal. ---

or, yet another vigilante tommy au... except this time, there is at least one brain cell (you can figure out who has it)

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 45/56

https://archiveofourown.org

TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death: By eneliii

“I uh,” Tommy starts, not knowing how to break this to the hero lightly. He hates to be the bearer of bad news. “I think your powers are broken? It’s not a bad thing of course, but like, I swear you tried to mind control me and it like, totally failed. Which is fine, honestly, don’t feel insecure. Everyone’s power stop working sometimes… I think.”  Sheesh, this is very awkward. Why is no one else talking? Why is Philza looking at him like he grew three heads? Why is the Blade staring at him so intensely? Why is Willow still frozen? “Did I, did I hit a nerve? Yikes,” Tommy hisses, “Well um,” He steps back, bracing his legs and bending his knees, “This was like super fun, but I’m - I’mma head out.”

or, in which Tommy manages to annoy the hell out of Phil, Techno and Wilbur by being both impossible to catch and irritatingly endearing.

or or, a crack fic where Tommy is a vigilante and Phil, Techno and Wilbur are the heroes hunting him down.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

No Cause for Concern: By hedgehoggeryyy

So maybe applying for a job at the heroes' base of operations when he could be arrested any moment for being an illegal vigilante wasn't Tommy's smartest move. But he gets to work with his idols — Ghostbur, the Blade, and Philza Minecraft, Angel of Death himself, just to name a few — how could he turn down that opportunity, honestly? And keeping his two identities separate can't be that difficult, really. It'll all be a piece of cake. ---

or, tommyinnit just wanted to pay the rent and save people at the same time. things can't go his way for just once, can they?

Status: Unfinished/Discontinued

Chapters: 35

https://archiveofourown.org

harness your hopes: By thanotaphobia (blue000jay)

“Well,” Phil says, letting go of the blond’s mouth and wiping his hand on his pants with a grimace. “There’s my unethical deed of the day.” “You committed tax fraud this morning.” “I did no such thing.”

(or, the ethically dubious vigilante!tommy fic, where SBI are crimelords and Tommy just wants his best friend back, man.)

Status: Finished

Chapters: 9

https://archiveofourown.org

Into the Night: By Interjection

“Don’t touch me,” Tommy hisses, leaning against the railing. “I will - I will-” They’re a hundred stories up. Wind lashes against Phil’s face. Next to him, Sam makes choked noise. “But why?” Tommy looks up to meet Phil’s eyes, terror struck so deep in those pale blue irises Phil thinks they must hold all the world’s fears within them. “You’ll die,” he whispers. “And then I’ll die. But I’ll come back.” “And I don’t want to come back.” Others have the freedom to live. Tommy doesn’t even have the freedom to die. But maybe they can teach him that living doesn’t have to be so bad. ---

(Superpowers AU where whenever someone touches Tommy, they both die. But Tommy will always come back to life eventually. He just wants it to end - but instead, he’s on the run, terrified of how his power will be exploited if he’s caught. A few people reluctantly team up to save him.)

Status: Finished

Chapters: 8

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

https://archiveofourown.org

Tommyinnit a Vigilante? Never.: By greenpinkroe

Tommyinnit leads one of the worst double lives in history. After his parents death Tommy was quick to take care of himself, and soon his close friend as well. He became a vigilante because he was never able to have the same opportunities considering his financial condition. So as a remedy he gets a grant based internship with a highly respected corporation. The very corporation that helps with any legal work that heroes face, meaning Tommy is surrounded by the people trying to catch him for the better part of most days. His biggest issue now is for them to never find out, and to do the occasional coffee run.

Or, I read a Hero fic with Tommy as a vigilante and fell in love with the idea.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

Rogue: By milk_tea24

Tommy ran. He ran as fast as he could. He needed to leave. To be safe. And he thought he finally was. He made it out. Away from the monster who raised him. Tommy found friends and got a job. But he screwed everything up like he always does. Now what can he do but what he does best. Go Rogue. ______________________________

Or, Tommy escapes Dream, after being locked away by him for years and becomes a vigilante.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 33

https://archiveofourown.org

OTHER ☻

Stay underneath my wing: By sircantus

"Wilby says that- that if a stranger ever tries to grab me, I can bite them." Tommy nods, giving a little glare towards Techno and his bitten hand. "Okay." Technoblade says slowly. "But don't bite me." "No, I'm gonna bite you." ---

SBI Zombie apocalypse AU, in which Tommy is a little kid who's been separated from Wilbur. While Wilbur is on a desperate search for his little brother with Phil, Tommy stumbles across Technoblade, who is the definition of 'no chill' in the zombie apocalypse. Techno accidentally gains a new little brother.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 33/?

https://archiveofourown.org

mayday, mayday, mayday: By always_an_anxious_mess

“Mayday mayday mayday, this is Ship 268454, CCS Clara, does anyone copy?” After an accident that he isn’t even sure how occurred, Junior Crewmember Tommy Innit is stuck out in the dead zone of space with a dead crew and on a damaged ship. No nearby inhabited planets. No nearby stations. Nothing. He’s billions of kilometers away from any hope of rescue, and has to figure out a way to safety. Not only that, for the first time in his life, he’s completely alone.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

The Children's Rebellion: By Aria_Cinabun

His name was Tommy Innes, and he was born to touch the stars. Of course, touching the stars was going to have to wait, because he'd lost that dream the moment his parents had died when he was ten years old—the moment he had watched that starship explosion and felt a bit of his heart die with them. He'd lost that dream when he was transported to prison and then to a place called Pogtopia. He'd lost that dream when he watched hundreds of children starve on the streets of Pogtopia. When he and two friends become the lone survivors of the Red Planet's Genocide. When they were rescued, and he was captured again. But maybe—maybe one day, he would regain that dream. Maybe he would hunt down the mass murderer that had executed his friends and gain his revenge—but that day was not now, and now he sat in a prison and stared at the faraway stars. Perhaps there would be people that he could call family again. People he would see again—people whom he had lost years ago. One day. Because he was an Avian, born to be forever alone amongst broken stars. And Avians did not fall unless they wanted to.

or a science fiction fic about rebellion

Status: Finished

Chapters: 58

https://archiveofourown.org

Just One Mistake (is all it will take): By Bluestrasa

Whisper blinked, dumbfounded. “Nix what—” “Tommy! Tommy, can you hear me?” She scooped up the body and Whisper finally got a decent look at him. He was young, too young to be passed out alone in a rainy alley. His blonde hair was darkened by water and streaks that must have been blood if his batter face was anything to go by. His skin was pale and his body trembled slightly, even in unconsciousness. Whisper moved side by side with his partner, pulling out first aid supplies and searching for major injuries. “You know this kid?” he asked.

--- or --- What do you get when one of the city's most famous vigilantes is actually a sixteen-year-old with the opposite of flashy powers and severe trust issues? A tragedy in the making, that's what.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 38

https://archiveofourown.org

TommyInnit's Maladjusted Magic School Experience: By MikiIsDying

Tommy was bullied for being a late-bloomer in the magical world he was born in. Tommy dreams of being on the magic battle field, but he lacks magical abilities. Disregarding the fact he lacks all qualifications, he applies to go to the most prestigious magic combat training school in the country. By going there, Tommy hopes to be like the famous witches he idolizes. Tommy waits in excruciating anxiety for his acceptance letter to arrive. -

or The writer has nothing better to do in their free time so why not make a terribly written rendition of mcyts but as witches. -

Basically this story is mainly the Dream SMP characters in a fantasy school setting :) Tommy centric + mainly SBI & BenchTrio moments

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 45/?

https://archiveofourown.org

The Last Heist: By crystalSkiez

In Manburg there's no mercy for criminals. Getting caught by the guards is an immediate death sentence. Tommy has managed to avoid them for 9 years now--by day, as an arrogant pickpocket with a mouth almost as fast as his hands, and by night as the renowned Underground thief known only as Theseus. Things are going well, all things considered. And then he gets a message from the infamous Antarctic gang and everything goes to shit. Now Tommy has to handle pulling off the heist of his life, all while hiding his true identity from both the tyrannical government and his new associates in the most feared gang in the city.

or I wanted a sci-fi found family AU with the SBI gang

Status: Unfinished/Discontinued

Chapters: 34

https://archiveofourown.org

If you're new to DSMP fanfiction I recommend starting with 'tommyinnit's clinic for supervillains' and 'Butterfly Reign' as those two are big parts of the fandom. If you get into fanfiction, you're bound to hear about those and you might be confused if you haven't read them. Another popular one is called 'passerine' but I personally am too much of a wimp to read it cause it's full of angst and will for sure make me depressed. That one might be the most popular by far though, even I know basically the whole plot and I haven't touched it.

If you have an recs for me I'd be happy to see!

[3416]

are you normal or do you wake up every day and think about this

[nerosdayinanime]

"Im worried what people would think of you then, that you're just a personal whore or something- i don't want to ruin your reputation.."

"Are you kidding? 'My dick was so good i got promoted-' Thats the biggest flex i can think of!"

"Well, you're certaintly enthusiastic about this."

[waltzing-rats]

Hm. Here’s a 2 page essay (that most people wont be able to read cause of my hand writing) detailing my thoughts on Gyomei’s character design

[savage-rhi]

Fuschia/Magenta?

[bmpmp3]

character designers when they need to design a mascot for a masculine vocal synthesizer: and i will put a mole. under his LEFT eye

[swordfaery]

anyway my favourite thing about dead men fanfiction is the wildly different characters we all write. like. not even the ones who have been dead for years and have so little actual characterisation but even the ones who were alive in canon were probably very different one hundred, two hundred, three hundred years ago. also theyre under characterised in fiction. also we are all just having fun

[dullahandyke]

the only thing stopping me from writing larxene x aura blackquill smut is that i have no earthly fucking idea how to get the two in a room together. wouldnt want it to be some 'au where theyre both office workers and get locked in a closet xoxo' thing. aiming for fully plausible 'YOU CAN'T PROVE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN'. i usually place japanifornia in quadratum for my ends re: keyblade revolutionnaire, but that asks wicked questions abt how larxene got there so my best bet is probably 'san fransokyo and we imply that the plot of big hero 6 is happening in the background of aa during the 7 year gap'. but then what