#im kind of sad i didnt put my all into this piece since i did have to rush it a bit

[oscarsasylum]

this will probably be the last time I post about bioshock (lie) but I needed a subject for my project and it had to be elizabeth. heres my slop

[noellefan101]

Not Replaceable

Characters: Alhaitham x GN reader

ft Kaveh and a weighted blanket(bc you can't tell me alhaitham wouldn't sleep with it, and that hes not autistic).

Warnings: not proofread, and definitley ooc but whatever

Note: this is heavily inspired by a fic i saw some months ago, but i cant remember their username and its kinda sad :(

he's been staring at your back for 30 minutes now, you seriously promised it would be dry tomorrow, its the best you can do.

"Haitham.. do you need anything?".

"you already know what i need…".

you looked at the man, and you sweared he looked like a kicked puppy, all because you had to wash his blanket today. you feel sorry for him, but it had to be done.

"yes, i do. but you can't sleep with a," you tried once again to convince him "a big wet piece of cloth" to just try and sleep without it.

"you could also just take multible blankets and stack them, or try to be a normal person like the rest of us" ah, Kaveh walked in, probably to get another cup of coffee, and to annoy Haitham as usual.

"not the same" Alhaitham said almost immediately after Kaveh had spoke, "it doesn't weigh enough, all the ones we have are too light for me to do that" you guess he's right, since it isn't the best to have too many layers of warmth in sumeru's heat.

you and alhaitham dont have that many blankets combined anyway, unless Kaveh woul- "alright! whatever, just dont take all mine like you did last time!" guess he already said no to that option then.

"i didn't take all of yours, just a few, you still had one left" i mean, he is kind of right, as much as you didnt want to agree with that at the moment.

"uggghhh… im going now, solve that yourselves" Kaveh spoke, walking out of the room with a new coffee mug in hand.

"love, are you sure you dont want to just try with the multible blankets?" you wanted to try just one more time, even though you were sure it wasnt going to actually convince him.

"yes" alright, then you dont have any other ideas. so you tried to brainstorm some more, though none would fix the actual problem at hand.

"i could make you some tea? or you could jsut read until you feel tired?" you wanted to help him so bad, but nothing just seemed like it would work. since yours was way too light, and you cant really go out and buy another on eofr him right now.

and his still shouldn't be dry enough to use. "no" he said as you gave out a sigh, you wanted so badly to give up on trying to find a replacement. but you still couldn't let yourself do it, you still wanted to help him actually sleep today.

"are you… sure nothing can work as a replacement, even just for today?" you're sure you looked so defeated at the moment, but it didn't matter now.

"…" silence huh? maybe he's thinking about it, or maybe he gave up as well. you cant really tell, and you're too tired to try understand what's behind those pretty eyes right now.

so you guess you should just-"lay on me" did you hear that right?? "what?" you cant do anything but question him. too focused on figuring what he was trying to do, or if you heard the wrong thing.

"i know you heard me, lay on me" so you weren't just hearing his words incorrectly, "but why would that help?".

"you weigh about enough to work as a weighted blanket" you looked at him surprised, "…excuse me?" you cant help but feel a little annoyed at him. although you knew what he meant know.

"i didn't mean it like that, i swear" he quickly spoke back. coming closer to you, looking worried that he had used the wrong words.

"its okay, im messing with you. i know you wouldn't actually mean it like that" you smiled smugly, letting out a little whimper as he picked you up without warning.

you looked up at him, confused, "i-i," you stuttered out yet couldnt finish the sentence before you felt him pull you in closer to him. "i can walk on my own you know!" it wasnt quite what you had wanted to say, but it would do.

he just looked at you and shrugged then put you gently down on the bed, and then he was laying beside you the moment it had come to you that he put you down.

you both looked right at each other once again, now face to face, in a silence you couldnt quite say was nice but it wasnt unpleasant either. well before he spoke up anyway, "are you going to move or do i have to?".

"huh?" you had already forgot why you were back in your bedroom by now, too focused on his eyes to care at the moment. "okay, i'll lift you up then" oh right, that it why you're here.

"sorry, w-wait atleast give me a warning first!" you wimpered out quickly as he took you up by your torso and put you down onto his chest. "i did give you a warning." you pouted at that.

"not a good enough warning, smartass" you clearly tried to sound stern, as if it mattered at all. but by the way your lips curled up and you just cuddled in closer to him, you clearly didnt mind.

it had been about 10 minutes by now, and you were fast asleep, although alhaitham wasnt quite yet. he was tired, yes, but maybe he had focused too much on you being right there than actually sleeping.

he wasnt complaining, dont get me wrong, but maybe it wasnt the smartest to have you on him when he wasnt suposed to focus on you. you just looked so pretty all curled up on his chest while still trying to cover him up as much as you could, even in your dreams.

he will fall asleep soon, just let him enjoy your sleeping form a little longer.

and yes, he should get a second weighted blanket, but he won't. because he now hopes gets to enjoy a moment like this every time the blanket has to be washed.

thx for reading, this is a very weird whatever but im trying to cook something up i just cant cook rn-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[superdeluxeaverage]

n just thinking abt the whole shittyness of my whole friendship w/ them n how i tried to ride it out with them when theyd treat me shittily and blame it on stuff they were going thru and tell me that they rly valued me as a friend and hoped we could continue to be friends n then continue to consistently ghost me like monthly and then fall on the same excuses anytime id bring up to them how i felt abt the dynamic of our friendship and how theyd do this super fucking weird in hindsight thing where theyd always go on mini-rants abt ppl need to get therapists and stop using their friends to vent about all their troubles and then immediately start venting to me about all the shit they were going thru with their real friends so that would like put me in a weird situation where id listen to their problems but feel guilty about even considering talking about mines and once i did eventually tell them about my moms then drinking problem (b4 it got real real apparently bad but where it was still something that made me uncomfortable) and they just recommended me a therapist lol. I dont kno if i have a place for them in my heart truly like im sure they tell everyone they know that im a huge loser and a weirdo clingy person or whatever and i kno one of their friends def thinks im a huge loser and was prob just waiting for them to cut me out so they could stop tolerating me but like hypothetically if they did actually reach out and apologize i wonder what id do knowing we shared music interests n stuff like idk that scares me i really especially with my job have been aware of how much of a pushover i am and how unhealthy that is to let ppl walk all over me as if its no problem n then for me to go to pieces when it obv doesnt lead me anywhere but like i wonder if id ever forgive them if they did reach out idk. my whole situation with my mom and how i never forgave her and now well do have a positive relationship with her i dont wanna be a completely unforgiving person cause i kno u have to forgive to be a good person and obviously u have to draw a line to live ur life healthily but idk where that line belongs for me with the way i act like im no big deal with not much goin on. i think abt them and that theyre in their way a beautiful person but i dont think they ever respected me as an equal. i dont kno what id say to them if i had to talk to them i fantasize abt being rude and concise with my words but in reality i dont kno what id say. maybe just that i was hurt. because i was. ive matured a lot since then in ways they would consider maturity (having a job driving a car dressing better) and ways id consider maturity (comfortable with my isolation or perceived isolation, not being so codependent on relationships, greater confidence in musical abilities and musical interests, dressing better) that id wonder how things would go if i was in a situation where i had to talk to them. but mostly it just makes me sad thinking abt it but a mature kind of sad not moping about it or having it eat me up but just like idk u look at adulthood and see how ppl u thought were mature cause they had things u didnt/dont (friends/friend group, driving ability, job) turn out to be more childish than u thought. like where im at now rly things look different looking back theres less envy of wanting to go back and glancing at their face when they came to where i work two days ago i could rly see the weakness and childishness in their face in a way. like looking back im glad i moved forward cause im sure theyre in the same place with the same problems while im in a very great place and have a genuine confidence with who i am as a person

[seerofmike]

Mike's Media Medley--June 2024

things i watched and played FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME this June 2024 (belated due both to hurricane beryl and also cuz im depressed <3)

2024 movie/show releases: Young Woman and the Sea, Inside Out 2, The Bikeriders

non-2024 movie/show releases: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999, recommended to me!), Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), La La Land (2016), One Piece (2023)

games: Chillquarium (2023)

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

this was recommended to me by a friend who swore up and down i would like this and tbh, i did! it was way funnier than i thought it would be, but kinda towards the middle (maybe more 2/3rds into the movie) it starts becoming more romance and drama heavy and kind of loses the comedic edge i was really liking about it. i also thought kat liking and disliking heath ledger was based more on whims sometimes. like i understood why she'd get pissed with him sometimes but i'd be confused other times, and also equally as confused as to why she decided she liked him again. idk maybe i just dont understand straight people

75/100

The Bikeriders

this movie meant nothing to me and i have already forgotten everything about it except for this thought which i was having the whole movie:

idk i feel bad rating it incredibly low since it didnt piss me off like Civil War did but also, is it worse to get pissed off by a film or is it worse to get so utterly bored by one that all of its details lapse from your mind as soon as you stop watching it?

idk. i guess it could've been worse. 20/100

Inside Out 2

okay so controversial opinion perhaps but i actually liked this one better than the first. HOWEVER, its not like i was necessarily the biggest fan of the first one. it's not like i hated it, i just never really clicked with it, i guess.

i think generally speaking the first one is more cohesive and more creative with its concepts, and has a bigger 'Pixar gutpunch' in the form of Bing Bong, but I thought Riley herself didn't really feel like a character and I found Sadness to be really annoying. so it was very appealing to Me, Specifically, that Sadness wasn't a main character and the other emotions got to play a bigger role (I am especially a fan of all the new emotions, even the ones that don't do shit like Ennui) and also that Riley feels like a PERSON

even if i think the first one had a bigger heartstrings-pulling moment this one overall made me feel way more. mostly cringe and secondhand embarrassment but it was out of recognition like "ohhh fuck ive been like that before". i saw this opening weekend amidst a sea of kids and there were some moments that i (and mostly other adults) were the only ones laughing.

ESPECIALLY a big fan of the vault with all of Riley's secrets. Pouchy was the best character actually. idk I just had fun with this one. I probaaaaaably wouldn't watch it again for a while but if my little brother put this on I would pay attention

70/100

La La Land (2016)

i did not like La La Land

i am not at all an expert on music nor musicals so i don't really feel like i can critique the musical aspect of it too deeply, but i CAN tell you that i didn't really vibe with any of the music and at times i found myself like. daydreaming instead of paying attention to what the characters were singing. i didn't really believe in her and ryan gosling's chemistry and i generally found his character to be irritating.

the most enjoyable parts of the movie to me were probably the musical sequences without any actual singing. i do like them tap dancing in the street and then their date where they start flying. i thought those were well-directed. in fact i thought there were a few well-directed and well-edited sequences in the movie. unfortunately i just never found the actual plot music or characters to be on par with the visuals.

i have not seen pretty much anything else that released that year re: Best Actress nominations (although Elle has been on my list) but i really find it hard to believe Emma won her first Oscar for this. idk i know a lot of people love this movie but it truly did nothing to me.

i guess i will say one of the things i DID like was the ending. how it didn't really work out, the silent musical scene at the end over a montage of what could've been. i like that there wasn't a happy ending just because generally i like when movies do that (if it feels believable anyways lol). but it didn't hit for me as hard as it should have because like i said it's not like i really cared for them to be together nor did i care for ryan gosling's jazz journey. i was a bit more invested in emma's acting journey but not enough to really say i truly cared about what happened to her.

idk. pretty visuals but weak everything else. 40/100 maybe

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

soooooo they put on the LOTR movies (the extended editions, specifically) which are the ones i watched. and i have something to admit. i have TRIED, several times, to get into the lord of the rings. i tried reading the hobbit. i ordered a fancy boxset of the LOTR trilogy and tried to read them. i watched the first movie but it took me 3 tries to complete it.

so i thought, okay. everyone raves about these movies. they HAVE to be good. maybe my attention span is fried. recently i've been getting tickets to movies that i could technically watch for free at home but buying tickets forces me to actually pay attention to them since i paid money and i won't be reaching for my phone or stopping to do something else. so i got myself 3 tickets to all 3 movies, back to back to back.

the first one was okay. i've seen it before. i found myself daydreaming midway through because i'd seen it already. i don't HATE it. i think a lot of the characters are generally very charming and likeable. i love samwise gamgee. i really liked borimir. frankly i could do without the elf lady because the way she speaks drove me insane and made me physically uncomfortable. the plot was a slow burn to build up the Fellowship, which I appreciated. surely the second movie would build upon this.

i do think, generally, that I liked the second movie better. i think Gollum is an interesting character and he was being performed and animated VERY well, especially considering the time when it comes to CGI effects. i liked merry and pippin's journey becoming more like heroes. the big battle at the end was done very well. and obviously i thought frodo and sam were a highlight.

that being said there were parts of the movie that i just did not care nor did i understand. im already hard of hearing and having to listen to british accents without any subtitles means that i legit didn't know what characters were saying maybe 1/3rd of the time. the new subplot of the. kingdom of guys. didnt work for me. i cant even remember what the hell the random kingdom of guys was about or named or anyone relevant because i didnt understand what was even going on. it was very fun seeing karl urban though

despite liking a lot of the movie, a lot of it just weighed down on me to the point that when i walked out i was like, "do i REALLY wanna sit through another 3 hours of this tomorrow?" and i decided i didn't and got a ticket refund.

at least the directing is fun. a lot of fantasy movies feel kinda boring and without personality but peter jackson really had a specific flair when it came to directing these.

60/100

One Piece (2023)

i didn't finish it so i wouldn't be rating it yet but i actually thought this was pretty fun! this could've been way messier but i think so far it looks like everyone is having fun and its juuuuust wacky enough. my only complaint is that zoro is waaaaaay too serious but idk maybe it gets better, i only watched maybe...4 episodes? i dont remember. i do look forward to finishing it. eventually

Young Woman and the Sea

well this was the sleeper hit i wasn't expecting to like as much as i did

i was bored one day and wanted to see a movie but nothing really jumped out at me that i hadn't seen yet. i ended up picking this one because I have seen Daisy Ridley in NOTHING. i will not watch Star Wars unless someone pays me actual money so I was curious to see her acting in something and picked this one. ive seen sports movies. i figured this one would be like a cheesy inspirational story but hey those arent necessarily bad

and yes, it IS cheesy and inspirational, but i liked it. a lot? it's 'based on a true story' which probably means that there are some embellishments but i found it genuinely compelling, between her childhood after surviving the measles to the way she and other young women were treated as swimmers, even during the olympics.

i thought the swimming seasons were decently thrilling. like, idk as someone who has attempted to watch competitive swimming it's just not really a glamorous sport to watch but the way this was shot and directed and the fact that they literally filmed it IN THE OCEAN, *in the English channel*, means that i was actually really invested in her managing this feat, both as a personal character motive and also for what it represented more widely when it came to women's physical accomplishments.

idk i guess im just kinda in shock i enjoyed it as much as i did. this was probably the movie i walked out of with the most positive outlook of all month. i'd watch it again.

80/100

games:

Chillquarium (2023)

i only played one new game this month, and that was Chillquarium, which is an idle/clicker kind of game where you manage fishtanks and grow fish by feeding them pellets.

fishe. what can i say

[cyberbullyinc]

Reminding you to spill the gossippp

u are a real one lol (this is gonna be long btw so im sorry!) so i work as an esl teacher right and this other teacher (who’s like really homophobic but not like “gays should die!!! more of the “why do gays have to be gay in front of me 🙄” kind) texted the coordinator (who happens to be my friend) being like really cryptic? like “hey x i cant work tomorrow i made a really bad mistake i even got my eye hurt im not quitting i just cant go tomorrow” like super weird! so we started theorizing i was like he’s closeted he got caught with a guy and got the shit beaten out of him lol (he has a very serious gf btw) like why not say what the “mistake” was and “hurt eye” like ur eye didnt hurt itself lol and if u didn’t do it obviously someone else did! anyways so today another friend who works there got a text from an ex student like “hey i was walking past x and i saw two girl students fighting each other in the middle of the street!” he gave him the general details like color of the clothes so we started investigating lol so i decided to ask in the teachers group chat if anyone had so and so as students (i didn’t say why i just asked for them) and i got two private messages from my friend and from another teacher! so the other teacher texts me “hey so that was me and the other girl confused me with someone else” and i was like wait so did u beat up a student? lol and she was like “noooo she pulled me by my hair but she thought i was someone else” and the other text i got was from the coordinator and shes like “it was x” (the girlfriend of the guy who “made a serious mistake) and i was like WHAT!!!! so the coordinator comes down to gossip with the rest of us lol and i start getting audio messages from the teacher who got her hair pulled by x’s gf and the coordinator is telling me that x and his gf were there to give her some things and x quit that morning and they’re moving out and they looked very sad, on the other hand hair teacher is telling me that x’s gf was pulling her hair saying shit like “why did u do it!!!! u know what u did!!! u know who i am!!!” and she was like i literally dont? but x’s gf looked really upset to the point to when she got her off her and told her she had the wrong person she had to calm x’s gf down cuz she was so shaken sldkngkfksldklf (she didn’t know x’s gf btw) so we continue theorizing what’s going on cuz u don’t fucking quit and move cities just cuz u cheated on ur gf right?! sooooo then hair teacher is telling us that ok saturday x told them a very……. concerning story…. about how “a friend of his” just got into serious trouble and had to move away cuz he was “having sex” with a 14 year old and her mom is in law enforcement so he had to run away and now we’re like…………….. that sounds familiar? ofc it’s all speculation atm since we just have bits and pieces of information we’re putting together but still super fucking weird and suspicious nonetheless!

[nikrangdan]

roommate!heeseung pt. 1

pairing: roommate!heeseung x female reader

genre: mini fic(?), fluff, comedy, tiny angst(one little sad part)

warnings: cursing!!! 

word count: 4.3k

description: i guess you just didnt realize you were in love with your roommate...... who has a girlfriend

————

“ow!”

you had just hit heeseung over the head after he said he would burn all of your plushies

your Precious. Plushies

hell no you’ve been collecting these since you were 11 no way in hell heeseung would threaten ur babies

you rolled your eyes and started to walk to the kitchen to get a snack

stupid heeseung

hes always saying stupid shit🙄

before you walked out though you noticed the look on his face

like he was contemplating something

“y/n... can you do me a favor?” he nervously uttered out before you walked out his door

“....what kind..?” you furrowed your brows

why was he being so cryptic

“uhh i need you to get flowers and chocolates for me from stacys....”

STACYS?????????

stacys was this fancy store 45 MINUTES AWAY..

“ur fucking serious?” you deadpanned

this was something new

in all your 8 months of living with him he had never asked you of a favor this big

for context.., you had moved to this city apartment for college 8 months ago but you couldn’t afford it without a roommate

but luckily you overheard a certain boy praying for an apartment while you were on campus

and you guessed it!!! it was heeseung

you two clicked easily and you were very thankful he was your roommate

after 4 months of living together he told you he got a girlfriend

you didnt really know about his campus life since you didnt have classes together and you never saw him walking around

you dont know why you were surprised when he told you... i mean have u seem Him.....

but nonetheless

u were like “Omg heeseung!!! thats great<3” like the supportive friend u were

yeah and that was that

you didnt meet the girl until another month later

Now that..... that was an experience......

FLASHBACK WHOOSH

*knock knock knock*

who tha hell was knocking at 7 in the morning.........

you staggered your way over to the front door with your matching hello kitty pajamas

and u open the door to see a blonde Lady who looks around your age

Why did u forget to look thru the little peephole in the door...... ur probably just tired whatever

anyways ur like

“uhm....”

and shes like

“? who are you.?”

and ur like

??!!?[\^€]€\¥,_[+{*}*

“i live here....”

and shes like

“?...? oh sorry i thought my boyfriend lived here..”

and ur both just standing there like ;-;

shes all dressed up and u look like a childs room threw up on u

And thats when it hit u

“OH”

“are you heeseungs girlfriend?!!???” your hand raises up to point at her unconsciously

“ yes.. i am” she looked so lost it was so funny

“oh then you have the right place im sorry! hes my roommate” you scurry back into the apartment, gesturing for her to come in and close the door behind her

“what? he didnt tell me had a roommate..”

poor girl 😭😭😭

you quite literally pounce into heeseungs room and smack him while shes still standing outside awkwardly in the living room

“fucking idiot” smack to the face

“wake up” smack to the chest

“heeseung i swear to god” you shake his head

“are you fucking dead???? wake up!!!!” you pinch his ears really hard

that woke him up

“Ow ow ow ow OWWW y/n what the hell???” his eyes are forced open but theyre squinted due to the sunlight

“your girlfriend is here” you whisper-yell at him

“what???” he sat up so quickly you almost laughed

you were 90% sure she heard everything

oh well

his problem

he just stares into space for a second before his eyes go wide

ur just sitting on his bed waiting for him to do something like Uhhh

“shit i planned a date today oh my god” he jumped up from his bed and hastily told you to “stay put” before throwing on a hoodie, walking to see his girlfriend, and slamming his bedroom door leaving u sat on his bed

yes u were nosy Muahahahahah

so u pressed ur ear against the door to listen to their conversation

“sora, im so sorry i slept in late i promise ill make it up to you please baby dont be mad”

you had to stifle your laughter with your hand

God this was gold

“heeseung why didnt you tell me you lived with a girl.”

oooooooh hes in trouble you laugh to yourself

“ah about that.. im sorry i didnt tell you.. dont worry though, you know i only like you! shes just my roommate”

ouch

Why did that hurt 😪

“whatever heeseung.. ill call you later” and then you heard the door slam

already???? you were ready to get ur popcorn :///

you didnt even notice it had been a while before the door opened with you still leaning on it

boom u fell on the floor

“ow”

“shut up” he said before jumping face down on his bed

you stand up to lean against his door again, staring pitifully at the boy

“you okay?” you cross your arms

“mmm” he mumbles into his pillow

“you know i think i deserve a treat for being woken up at 7am on a sunday by your little girlfriend”

“little? shes taller than you” he turned around to lay on his back and chuckle

“oh so you’re making jokes right now when your girlfriend might break up with you?” you glare at him

“shes not gonna break up with me over something this little” he rolls his eyes and grabs his phone from his nightstand

“you know you’re a little piece of shit heeseung!” you yell out to him after you walked out of his room

“how?!” he yelled back

“treat your girlfriend better!”

he kept his mouth shut after that

yeah you two didnt talk for the rest of the day because he stayed in his room sulking or whatever

fast forward to now

Right after he asked u to get him the chocolates and flowers

“please y/n, sora is gonna be here in 2 hours and i need to get everything ready and i dont have enough time to do everything” he begged

WITH THOSE CUTE LITTLE PUPPY DOG EYES OF HIS GOD

“do you really need them from stacys though???” you whined

he just huffed and glared at you “yes! sora only likes them from there.”

“nuh uh mister dont give me that look” you narrow your eyes at him

he immediately stops his glare and tries to look neutral

it almost made you laugh

you just looked at him for a few seconds before giving up

“fine. but what am i getting in return?”

his eyes lit up and traveled up as he was in thought

“hmmm ill buy you food whenever you want for a month”

Wow

“woah thats more than i bargained for but deal!” he didnt realize that until after you shook his hand, very enthusiastically might i add

Lol

so now you were on your way home with the MASSIVE bouquet of roses and beautifully wrapped chocolates sitting nice and snug in the passenger seat of your car

these two things costed $115

oh well its heeseungs money not yours

you found it amusing because heeseung was nowhere near rich so where was he finding this money to blow

over an hour later and ur finally back home

u open the door

u struggled very much btw

almost dropped everything haha

but woah......

your eyes widened and your mouth fell open

“heeseung? you didn’t tell me you two were having the date here..”

as soon as you walked in you smelled a pretty scent and the lighting was dim

it was beautiful

there were candles lit on every surface

rose petals were scattered messily everywhere

the two seater dining table was topped with elegant decor

there was quiet jazz music playing from his speaker

the familiar aroma of your favorite food hit you

standing there in your apartment didnt feel real

it felt like you were in a dream

you couldnt believe your apartment could turn into room from a fairytale

you were never one to be into disney princesses and fantasies

but for the first time ever you almost wished for a prince charming yourself

you almost got lost in a trance

and then....

the boy himself walked out

donned in an all black suit with a sliver of the white undershirt peeking underneath and the white tie

his bangs were covering his forehead and you noticed he styled them to be wavy

he had his earrings in and rings were present on 3 of his fingers

he looked absolutely dazzling

you dont know how or why.. but your heart began to race

why did this feel like it was for you...?

you wanted to be his disney princess

staring at him wistfully, it felt like time had stopped

“oh thanks y/n, i almost thought you ditched me” he chuckled quickly

he was frantic and out of breath as he snatched the things out of your hand

“right!” he began as he sped around the room setting everything up

“im sorry but i forgot to ask if you could leave for today. im such an idiot, im sorry y/n.. you can stay at a friends house or something for the night?” he didnt even look at you as he perfected the chocolates on the counter and the plates on the table

you couldnt help but notice your heart clench and your stomach twist at his words

you were still glued to your spot infront of the door

“o-oh! yeah, okay thats fine ill get my stuff now” you scurry to your room

you speedily threw some clothes and necessities in a bag before walking back to him

“hey..”

he didnt look at you

“helloooo”

“heeseung” you poke him

he finally turned to you

“sorry what?” he gazed down at you with big eyes

“its okay.. just wanted to let you know im leaving now” you give him a small smile

“oh right! thank you y/n again” he grinned

his pretty smile

“you look great by the way... have fun” you manage to say before slipping out the door

you didnt let him reply back because if you stayed in there a second longer you think you would’ve fallen in love with him

where did these feelings come from...?

you smack yourself on your forehead as youre walking down the steps to your car

ur probably just feeling like this because no man has ever done anything like that for u

and seeing it in real life made u want a bf 😟😟

yeah... thats it

so now ur at sunoos house

a close friend from your finance class

he lives in his parents house but theyre never home so he basically owns the place and doesn’t have to pay for it

Yeah u kinda envy the boy

but you love him because hes great

“y/n ..do you like him????” sunoo gasps

you guys are watching tangled for the 10th time and you were explaining what happened back at your apartment

“what? where did you get that from?” you snort, your eyes still focused on the movie

you could literally feel his eyes piercing into your soul with that stare

“the way you were telling me that story.... you sounded a bit jealous if i do say so myself..” he raises his eyebrow and leans back into the couch

“i do not like heeseung, sunoo” your eyes roll and you turn to look at him finally

he has a little smirk as he looks at u suspiciously

“hmmm okay, i get it” he raises his arms in defense and surrenders “you don’t wanna talk about it”

you scoff and laugh at his actions “you’re so annoying”

so ..*time skip* lol

you slept at sunoos for the night

it wasnt anything new bc u used to stay at his alot while u were in the process of moving into your apartment

one of his guest rooms is practically urs bc u have some decorations and spare clothes there :P

when you woke up that sunday morning you realized you forgot to set an alarm

so now its like 11am

well its not like you needed to be home so you shrugged it off

“morning” u said to sunoo when u saw him sitting on the couch watching wreck it ralph

boy loves his movies

“when are you going home?”

“wow rude.... not even a good morning back??” you found him amusing

“sorry, good morning. when are you going home” he turned his head to look at you

it made you laugh

Sunoo is so funny u love him

“do u wanna get rid of me that bad??? i hate you”

“ni-ki and jungwon are coming over today and i dont want you smothering them like you always do” he playfully glares at you

NI-KI AND JUNGWON???!!!??!!!!!!

“MY BABIES????” you exclaim and jump on the couch next to sunoo

“yes” he exasperatingly says

“now leave before they get here”

“WHAT?? no im staying because i wanna see them”

“NO!!!! now get out of my house y/n”

“why not?!!???! sunoo please i bet they miss me so much”

“y/n please.. they do NOT miss you”

“they literally do i always make them cookies and theyre like y/n ur so cool we love you”

“u mustve been hallucinating....”

“sunoo please please please i dont wanna go home” u tried to muster up the cutest puppy dog eyes ever

he looked at your face for a moment

“no u look ugly”

“YOU’RE SO ANNOYING” you push him

“theyre coming back tomorrow you can come then! today is boys night”

“boys night?” you snort “what the fuck are u kids gonna do that i cant be around for?”

“SHUT UP Y/N get out of my house!” he just starts to drag you out of his house himself

“ow oW OKAY fine ill leave... have fun doing.. whatever you’re gonna do” you grab your bag and start to head for the door

sunoo slams the door in ur face after he says “bye dont come back please” 😭😭😭

“asshole!” u yell to him thru the door

you just huff and stand on his porch for a second

you wonder if heeseung still has his girlfriend over and decide to text him

y/n🦧: hi can i come back home

welp

now ur sitting on sunoos porch waiting for a reply

10  minutes pass while ur scrolling on your phone and still no reply

you look up when you hear the front door open

“why are you still here?” sunoo frowns at you

“heeseung didnt answer my text and i dont wanna go back if his girlfriend is still there” you reply

“go home y/n plz.... i lied jungwon and ni-ki arent coming over.. my grandparents are” he tries to shoo you away

“why would you lie about that” you laugh

“theyre really mean! but you can come back tomorrow because the boys are actually gonna be here.. now go because my grumpy grandparents are gonna be here in like 5 minutes” he guides your shoulders down his porch

“ugh.. if his girlfriend is still there its your fault” you pout

“wha- how is that my- whatever y/n go home!!!”

when you drive off you dramatically wave your hand to him trying to show how desperately you did not wanna go home

sunoo just giggles and runs back inside

you drove home extra slow Lol

and now you were at the door contemplating whether or not you just make a run for it

but u said fuck it because u missed the comforts of ur own room

well u knocked a little before unlocking the door

how embarrassing to be knocking on the door of ur own home 💀

you didnt get an immediate answer so u just stood outside in the apartment hallway....waiting....

after waiting for like 30 seconds (because ur impatient) you knock again

well i tried to be nice you thought

you finally gave up and unlocked the door with your keys, kind of slowly opening the door to peek in

hmmm.... nothing

the sun was emitting some rays of light through one of the windows but none of the lights were on

and why was there food still on the table..?

you were kind of afraid to go see heeseung 

but

you did notice one thing

there wasn’t a pair of shoes u didnt recognize sitting on the rack by the door 

so... is his girlfriend not here or did she bring her shoes to his room lol..

“hello?” you unconfidently called out to nobody in particular

no answer

you slipped your shoes off quietly and tiptoed towards the hallway that included both of your rooms across from eachother

the kitchen and living room looked untouched 

to describe u being confused would be an understatement

you set your bag down on your bed and then made your way to heeseung.. just to check on him

you were genuinely so confused rn

you thought they would be cuddling on the couch or talking in his room or something but it was dead silent throughout the house

“heeseung?” you soft knocked on the door of his bedroom

surely he couldnt still be asleep.. it was noon on a monday and heeseung would normally be up by 10 because he said he would “start being a more productive man” as he said it

you always laughed at him because he used to wake up at like 3pm on days he didnt have class

anyways you didnt get an answer which was slightly concerning because you didnt forget to take note that you saw his car in the parking garage when you arrived

“i’m coming in” you called out to him before twisting the knob and pushing the door open

you realized you might be crossing a line and he’d get upset at you for invading his privacy but you were honestly worried for your friend

at first you didn’t see him

his room was empty, not a single person in sight

that is until you further examined the big lump on his bed

“heeseung? what...” you walked over to the lump that you only knew was him because you could see a bit of his hair peeking out from the top

“um.. am i interrupting something..” you awkwardly said, debating whether or not to go closer

he wasn’t saying anything so you guessed he was sleeping

how odd for him

you wanted to just check real quick and then you’d leave his room

so your feet padded softly against his wooden floor as you made your way over to him

and you bent down a little to kind of tug the huge blanket away from his face

as you got closer you also noticed his girlfriend wasnt here

the first thing you noticed was that he was definitely not asleep

your eyes widened and your hand instinctively went to his face to cup his cheek

“are you okay?! why are you crying?” you quickly asked, your eyebrows were furrowed in worry

in your months living with him you have never seen him show any emotional feelings in front of you and it almost made you panic

his eyes locked onto yours before he looked away from you and closed his eyes

he still hasnt said anything and you really didnt know what to do in this situation

you took your hand off his cheek before sighing

now you’re just sat on the side of his bed just looking at him.. wondering what to do

you were sure he wasn’t sleeping even though his eyes were shut and he wouldnt move

but you sat there for 5 minutes and he didnt seem to mind

“sora broke up with me” 

he finally broke the silence

...

you didnt know what to say

you couldnt ask if he was okay when he obviously wasnt

“do you wanna talk about it? you looked over to heeseung to see him staring at you

“not really” he broke eye contact once again and looked up towards the ceiling

“later i will.. just not now” he breathed out

you nodded at that, understanding his situation

you felt terrible for the boy

his eyes were red and his voice was all nasally like he’d been crying

“i’ll leave you alone now..” you patted his big blanket fluff to lighten the mood and walked out his stuffy room

hours had passed while he was stuck in that room and you didnt know what to do 

it was 7pm already

you spent the day watching tv in the living room 

but it was dinner time and you made ramen (his fav!!!) in hopes that he would come out of there

“heeseung you’ve gotta eat” you knock on his door again

you had told him to eat at 2 earlier but he insisted that he wasnt hungry

you were surprised when he instantly opened the door and your hand was still in midair as you were knocking

if your hand moved an inch you wouldve been knocking on his chest which you found very funny but you didnt think this was the right time for jokes

“hi” you looked up at him

he was wearing his purple beanie with sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt

he definitely looked better than he did this morning which you thanked god for

“hey” he gave u this look :]

“you okay? i made ramen.. can you smell it” you kinda giggled

“yeah, thanks” he tried to send you a small smile which you were thankful for

“okay well come eat because i worked very hard on it” you turned on your heels and went towards the tiny kitchen island with two seats

he followed you and sat next to you as you gave him his bowl and chopsticks

“bon appetit!” you clapped your hands before digging in

you were proud of urself ngl... the ramen was smacking

“thank you y/n” he said softly

you refused to admit it but he was.. So Cute

“no problem, just eat” you grinned

and you two ate in silence for a good 15 minutes

he said he would do the dishes after you were done which was relieving because you wanted to go jump in your bed and watch tiktoks very badly

there was a slight awkwardness in the air too so you wanted to let that cool off too

so now you were cuddled up in our bed with your phone very close, almost too close, to your face

and you could hear the sink running as heeseung washed the dishes

you silently prayed he was feeling better and that he would be over it soon

the sink turned off and you could hear his footsteps coming towards the hallway

what surprised you was that you heard knocks on your bedroom door

“can i come in?” he asked

“yeah its open” you replied

u had to get out of ur blanket cocoon :///

you watched him stride over to sit next you on your bed

he even got under the covers and laid down like dang lmao u getting comfy i guess

“whats up?” you were sitting up while he was laying on your pillows

“so.. she broke up with me last night” he spoke while hugging one of your plushies

oh OHH so this is what this is about

“oh.. are you feeling better now?”

“yeah i think.. we only dated for 4 months but i really liked her....”

“did she say why she did?” you asked

“she said she found someone else. i dont know if you know this but shes a year older than me and she told me she wasnt into younger guys which doesnt even make any sense because her ex was younger than her too and-”

“okay heeseung” you laugh “people are like that, you just gotta deal with it”

“yeah yeah, i know” he sighed “i dont know.. i dont know if im sad i lost her or if im sad over the fact that i dont have a girlfriend anymore”

“was she your first girlfriend?”

“me? y/n” he laughed “ive had plenty before”

“oh” you didnt even wanna ask

“why? have you never had a boyfriend or something?” he joked

“no....” you trailed off, unable to look him in the eye out of embarrassment

you were never even embarrassed about that but for some reason admitting it to heeseung made you shy

“what?! no way” he was actually shocked

“yes way now can we change the topic this is terrible” you roll your eyes and shove a plushie in his face

“awee little y/n” he teased you

“get out” you snickered

“okay okay fine.. but yeah i think i’ll be okay. she broke up with me as soon as she got here so all of my planning was for nothing. i think that was what devastated me the most, i had no one to eat with”

you wanted to yell I LITERALLY EXIST soooo bad

Why is he so stupid....... 

“thats sad...” you said

you wanted to laugh at your reply bc what else could you say

“yeah anyways you dont have to worry about taking care of me while im sulking or whatever im cool now’

“well that was quick.. you were acting like a baby this morning now ur this tuff guy” you tease

“yeah yeah i dont even know why i was acting like that” his cheeks went pink

“im just kidding” you send a small smile his way “you know im always here for you right? dont be afraid to be a little emotional sometimes” you reach over to pat his head

“thanks y/n” he smiles “you’re a really great friend”

ouch

yeah.. friend

[omegalomania]

I think tumblr ate my ask or it just didn't sent but what are your favorite Bastille songs / what are some songs you recommend?

i did NOT get this ask im very sorry anon.

it's genuinely hard for me to narrow down cause bastille is pretty up there in terms of favorite artists. i love all their shit, but a special mention goes out to their second studio album wild world since it's the one that made me a Fan

uh so here's a primer i guess i spent too much time on this lmao.

if you wanna listen to their big hits:

flaws - their first single in the uk. if you ever listened to ship playlists on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 then you've probably heard this song or a variant on it at some point.

pompeii - this is the song that really put them on the map and you definitely know it. it dominated the charts all over the place.

happier - the marshmello song that you've definitely heard before too. i think bastille wrote this for justin bieber or some shit but then decided they liked it too much to give it to him? lmao. anyway if you're not digging the version you hear on the radio all the time i recommend trying the stripped down version

good grief - their big hit off their second album. big in the uk, didn't really make as many waves elsewhere, but it's a really solid song anyway. one of those "upbeat tunes that's actually really fucking sad" ones

things we lost in the fire - another one off their first album. if you live in a wildfire area this might not be one to turn to. or maybe you'll find it cathartic idk i certainly do!!

quarter past midnight - a song about escapism, as was fitting when it was released in 2018 and equally fitting now. running away for a night of fucking around with friends, craving any kind of brief departure from the chaos of the modern world

skulls - this one was not a hit or a single and is technically a bonus track but i'm including it because once again if you ever clicked on a ship playlist on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 you've heard this one. and you know what that was justified this one is also good

if you wanna feel existentially depressed:

their whole discography. i mean i kid but i also don't. that's just kind of how bastille does it. BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS ones that hit me in particular would beeee

two evils - kind of a grim, haunting one introspecting about morality of the self.

oblivion - musing about the afterlife, love, and how time changes all of us.

those nights - contemplating what it is we seek when we plunge into reckless escapism, and the inherent loneliness of it; how even when surrounded by people there's still the pressure of the world outside, continuously coming to pieces

the draw - this one was written about the pull of pursuing a career in music vs. staying home with family and friends. in a broader sense, it can apply to a lot of things. i always felt it resonated with feelings of paranoia and displacement

winter of our youth - discusses childhood, nostalgia, and regret. if it feels like everything's slipping away, is it easier to relive the past, especially if the past is tinted rose?

sleepsong - loneliness, desperation, and the cyclical, abyss-like nature of all it encapsulates

if you want discussion of serious topics:

final hour - a bonus track off their second album that also became a bonus track off their third album? anyway this song talks about climate change and gun control. happy stuff

doom days - this one talks about, uh, everything! doomscrolling, political divides, escalating national tensions, climate change again, etc.

the currents - a song centered on political rhetoric and the power that figureheads have over the masses, the way they can orchestrate hate. basically it's not so subtly aimed at donald trump lmao, dan's literally sung it as much in a few live settings

WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? - social media addiction and the way capitalism and corporate interests have annexed our online experiences, fighting desperately for our attention as they seek to monetize every available aspect of our lives

four walls (the ballad of perry smith) - well this one is about uh. perry smith. who was charged with the death penalty for killing 4 people in the late 50's. but it's less directly about him and more a discussion of the morality of the death penalty and capital punishment

snakes - burgeoning anxieties and the impulse to turn to easy outs, like ignorance or alcoholism, to escape the world's global problems

if you want some pop culture sprinkled on top:

icarus - greek mythology. i like this one because it addresses something that i feel isn't addressed enough in discussions of this myth, which is that icarus is a very young lad. less about the pride of the fall, and more about the inherent tragedy of that.

laura palmer - the whole song is a david lynch shoutout. i've never seen twin peaks myself but the song still slaps.

daniel in the den - christian mythology. discusses the biblical tale of daniel in the lion's den and links that up to themes of betrayal and family.

poet - this one's a double feature, referencing both william shakespeare's sonnet 18 and edmund spencer's sonnet 75. also one of my favorites.

send them off! - this is another one of my favorites of theirs. it's also been described by dan as "othello meets the exorcist" and it very much delivers there

if you want something uplifting:

joy - while bastille (understandably) has a bit of reputation as a band that makes sad music about sad things, they've definitely got some happier songs in their catalogue. pun intended cha ching. this one's one of their more straightforwardly happy tunes

survivin' - this was a song they wrote while they were touring and then felt weird about releasing once the panini hit because it felt a bit on the nose. they ended up releasing it anyway and i am so glad they did cause it's a mood

act of kindness - the "happy" part here is debatable but i'm gonna include it anyway. it’s when someone does something nice for you and that impulse Changes you way down deep you know???

warmth - one of those "the world's going to shit but at least we have each other" kinds of tunes

the anchor - one of those "the world's going to shit but you're the one fucking thing that's still keeping me here" kinds of tunes

give me the future - their latest single as of this writing and one of the more optimistic tracks in their catalogue imo! it's yearning, but it's also with a genuine hope for the future.

and LASTLY. because im going to take every chance i can to plug this band. im going to throw some collabs and covers at you because there's one thing this band does SUPER well and it's collabs and covers.

of the night - this is the big one. it mashes up rhythm of the night by corona and rhythm is a dancer by SNAP! and it's so good they still do this one live and it goes off every time.

no angels - a mashup of "no scrubs" by TLC and "angels" by the xx, poured into a strangely mournful tune with clips from the hitchcock movie psycho. doesn't sound like it should work but it does. kinda really does.

torn apart - with GRADES and lizzo no less!!! it's got two parts but they're both excellent listen to them both

weapon - collab with angel haze, dan priddy, and F*U*G*Z and one of my absolute favorites

remains - remix of their song "skulls" but featuring rag'n'bone man and skunk anansie that adds an entire new dimension to the song, really fucking excellent

old town road mashup - lil nas x's old town road meets lizzo's good as hell meets radiohead's talk show host meets talking heads' road to nowhere meets the osmond's crazy horse. "what the fuck that shouldn't work" i KNOW and yet here it is!! BLATANTLY BANGING!!!

we can't stop - one of the few times dan smith subtly changes the lyrics of the song he's covering (most of the time he opts to keep the original pronouns and the like, which is very nice to see). anyway this one mixes miley cyrus's we can't stop with eminem's lose yourself and billy ray cyrus's achy breaky heart. and also the lion king's i just can't wait to be king is there. yes i know it sounds batshit especially because the whole thing is surprisingly melodic and heartfelt and you know what it works.

anyone but me x nightmares - mashing up joy crookes' anyone but me with easy life's nightmares and absolutely one of my favorites.

bad guy mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "bad" in the title? we've got bad guy (billie eilish), bad decisions (bastille), bad romance (lady gaga), and bad blood (taylor swift). bastille even has a song called bad blood and they didnt use it. they used taylor swift's version. also the distinctive guitar riff from dick dale's misirlou is there.

somebody mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "some" in the title? someone like you (adele), somebody told me (the killers), somebody to love (queen), use somebody (kings of leon), and someone you loved (lewis capaldi). seriously these guys take mashups to a new level.

final song - this is a cover of MØ's final song. it also adds in craig david's 7 days and, impossibly enough, europe's final countdown. how does it work. how.

ALL RIGHT. THATS ALL IVE GOT IN ME. HOPE THIS HELPED ANON AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH

[wall-eye]

old v new

just want to talk about the differences between these two pieces :] casual essay under the cut

first off, in the nine months between making the first one and redoing it i have a) learned how to make space backgrounds in a way that i am very fond of, b) picked up a textured brush, and c) have gained some more understandings of my layer modes

now. i didnt like make a new piece and start over from scratch. i keep a save of the art with layers and a save of the art i can post. i have a whole system, is why my art always have a 1 at the end if youve ever looked at the file names. the only thing i completely changed is the background. got rid of the stars added my space and readded stars and added the moons. and some glow at the bottom.

other than that i color shifted the ship wall theyre leaning against to be more purple than green, and did some heavy blurring and smudging on the lighting and changed the layer modes. i had left the group layer modes on the wrong setting (pass through vs normal) and it dimmed all the work i did so much. because of that i actually had to go back, after i fixed it, to tone down a lot of the lighting i did, especially on the faces. i took my big textured brush (which i also used for the background. deceptively simple to do that actually) and just set it to eraser mode and did a few taps over the spots that needed it. i used the same method on the moon actually, i just made a white circle and duplicated it and erased it with a tap and it ended up like that.

anyway all of that is to say that the little changes really changed the whole, like effect of the piece. before, everything felt really flat and i was disappointed in how the lighting showed up, but i thought there was nothing i could do. the back lighting was a last minute decision and it looked cool but also a bit out of place. it was a great concept but i didnt have all the technical skills and the right eye for what i wanted. i had actually drawn it before and gone no i need to try harder and do better with this actually. i went hard into the anatomy and lighting, but fell the the side on the background.

which is what i went into this time, and what helped give it the effect it has now. they arent as flat with the improved lighting, the background has depth and actually looks like its a night sky, the moons give context for the back light, and its no longer all the some sort of contrast.

in the before they kind of blended into everything else because it was all given the same emphasis in contrast. if you step back and squint the only things that stand out are fjord's lighter green skin and jesters skin. not the worst things to stand out ofc, thats their faces on the most part. but in the after, its their whole bodies (and the moon) that stand out and thats what i want.

one thing i didnt expect to see, when i set them next to each other, was to think that the newer one seemed smaller than the other. they look smaller, when i didnt resize them at all. i didnt touch the line art, except to put it on a multiply layer and to make it a color other than black (almost black green and almost black blue). that, plus the enhanced lighting, and surprisingly the moon in the back also makes the moment sadder and more lonely? which is the exact mood in the actual scene im portraying, where jester and fjord have a talk and jester sheds her happy mask for a moment to share her sadness and loneliness at leaving her mom. in the new piece they are surrounded by darkness, with the only visible features being themselves lit by the moon and the moon itself. in the older piece the sky is lighter and filled with stark stars that negate that effect completely. With all that starkness consolidated into the single white moon, it feels as though the moon is a third figure in the scene that, since it is addressed and centered, makes it so that any notion of any other audience moot. the moon is the only audience for the moment between them and its indifferent (not a stand in for us, because we are not indifferent). Ruidus is there as well, because of what we know about it now. all the forboding and negitive enegery around it, and having placed it above jester, shows that its a serious, if beautiful, moment of her, again, showing sadness and loneliness, non-positive emotions.

anyway all of this is to just say: look at what i did! isnt it neat how i did it. look at the very cool side effect it caused! wow im so proud of that, isnt it so cool.

i also think itd perhaps be a really cool card for jester and molly's oracle deck, im thinking connection and then upside down is loneliness. idk i havent looked at the cards and their meanings and the specific art yet, i just thought id be cool cause of the connection/loneliness theme of jester that kinda first shows its face to us with this moment

if youve read all of this i love you

[karamazovdmitri]

What Russian movies would you recommend?

oh my god where to even start!! i really love soviet cinema so this is most of what i will suggest probably (im kind of meh on most recent mainstream russian cinema, even tho it has great pieces of guilty pleasure movies lmao) alright so settle in well okay lets start with the classics: andrei tarkovsky is my favorite filmmaker, literally anything and everything by him (just dont watch nostalghia first, but i highly recommend the mirror, stalker, solaris if you like SF, or hell even andrei rublev if thats your jam bc personally it is and i LOVED), very contemplative and slow movies though, like. you will need patience to get through his stuff, but personally i always say it feels like someone recorded a dream and you're watching that. it feels really oniric and its like you dont exactly grasp it all and when you try to explain it you cant really but good god its good

then! i will recommend one of my all-time favorite movies, and i mean it, of ALL times, the ascent by larisa shepitko. its about two soldiers during wwii who are sent off to find food, and its one of those war movies that arent really war movies you know but they are about it, and moreso, they're about like Humanity™? anyway one of the most haunting, beautiful and devastating movies i've seen ever. just beautiful in the cinematography, in the acting, in just everything honestly, its raw and profoundly human and also if youre like me and youre all about that religious symbolism? youre in for a... sad sad treat, but a treat nonetheless. it really like. got me deep like i didnt know what to do with myself after watching it but its a masterpiece 10000% (also while im there... also watch larisa sheptiko's other movie, wings)

now another classic is of course the cranes are flying, everyone knows but i need to reiterate it really lives up to the hype... just. some of the most beautiful cinnamon tography ive seen ever. like ill be honest even if i love cinematography in general i rarely go look up a cinematographer specifically but for this movie i HAD to bc some camera shots are INSANE. just one of the most gorgeous movies ive seen ever

if we're still going about aesthetic bc why not... if you liked hamlet by shakespeare, you HAVE to see the 1964 Hamlet movie its sooo gorgeous and such a good adaptation in my opinion like i just think this movie understands EVERYTHING about the essence of the play

now the next one i wouldnt necessarily put on the same scale as the others but good god is it a good watch, and its ballad of a soldier yes its another classic idc the soviet classics arent classics for nothing. this one is a really nice watch. just felt..... really nice and once again war movie thats not really showing you the war itself, i dig this hardcore

okay also ! not soviet lmfao but HUGE mention to alexander sokurov, you probably know of russian ark, if you dont, its not only a fucking prowess of cinematography, its basically one single continous shot for the entire movie and not like. a fake one like 1917 -tho dont get me wrong, loved what 1917 did-, like its deadass. press record, do the entire fucking movie, press stop. its INSANE and its BEAUTIFUL and im in love with sokurov's style, not as well known but i also loved francofonia, tho its a lot more experimental imo and is more documentary than movie, but also not documentary per se, i guess an essay of sorts, kind of confusing but i enjoyed it

i could not do this without of course mentioning one of my comfort movies™, which is я шагаю по мосве (translated as different things, like walking the streets of moscow or i walk around moscow) just a short and really sweet and light movie about . life i guess. LMAO its vague but theres really no real plot in there just a good time and very genuine and also has one of my favorite final scenes ever quick special mentions: courier, which was not my favorite but a really good movie still and it gets me bc its 1980s russia aka my jam, crime and punishment 1970 IF youve read C&P bc umm its an entire vibe, and remember when i said modern russian cinema guilty pleasure? okay well i rewatched движение вверх recently and like. it still slaps. if youre wondering (???) i need you to know i havent watched a zvyaginstev movie since i was like 16 so i dont have a concrete opinion on his stuff lmao)

sorry i wrote like SO fucking much but jaksfbajfbajsfh i hope this can provide you with some stuff of interests and btw a lot of these movies can be found with russian film hub, which basically like searches youtube and whatnot for you since mosfilm are actually pretty cool and do put their movies online

[honeykawa]

Fly | Route: Tanaka Ryuunosuke

genre: mafia au, choose your own adventure

warnings: violence, suggestive themes but nothing graphic

word count: 3.1k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose him”

You looked at the man who had been standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed

“Tanaka get your ass moving and take them home. Pick them up in the morning and take them home from now on. Make sure they dont run away or itll be on your head”

“Got it boss”

The car ride to your apartment was filled with silence and the soft sound of music coming from the radio

You were too nervous to say anything

The growing feeling of anxiety in your chest made it almost hard to breath

You started to unconsciously grab at the area above your chest and your breathing became irregular

‘How did i get into this mess?’ ‘whats going to happen to me?’

These thoughts keep rushing through your head

“--hey are you okay?”

Tanaka pulled the car over so he could stop and assess just what was happening

And from the way he saw it...it looked like an anxiety attack

His panicked a little himself watching you like this he didnt even want to imagine the feelings rushing through you right now

He got you to control your breathing again and come down from your panic

“You good now?”

You nodded your head, still weary about being near this man

He could tell you were still on your guard with the way you wrapped your arms around your body, as if you were trying to make yourself smaller

“I know it seems rough right now but i swear itll be okay”

His voice was soft with you, something you didnt expect from someone in the mafia

The car ride after that went pretty smooth

“We’re here”

The ride went faster than you thought it would and you got out of his car before saying your goodbyes

“Ill pick you up in the morning...if you need me heres my card”

He held out his card to you as you slowly took it from his hands

“See you”

And with that he sped off as you went inside your apartment to go to bed, hoping that maybe this had all been a dream

Once tanaka got back to his apartment he immediately plopped himself onto his bed and covered his eyes with his arm while thoughts of you plagued his mind

‘Cute’

His arm fell down to his side and he just stared at the ceiling

“Get your shit together tanaka. Your job is to watch them, nothing more”

He rolled over to his side with thoughts of you fading as he drifted into sleep

You woke up to the sound of light knocking on your door

And as soon as you opened the door it finally set in that last night really did happen

“Are you ready to go?”

Tanaka took one look at you and let out a deep sigh knowing that you werent

“Ill give you fifteen minutes”

You nodded your head as you ran back into your room and changed into something work appropriate

Wait where were you working? What would be considered work appropriate?

Based off of what tanaka was wearing you assumed something business casual

When you came out you looked at tanaka to see if this was good enough and he just nodded his head and started walking back towards his car, opening the door for you to get in

“I talked it over with daichi and youll be working with me as my assistant”

Your eyes widened and he immediately knew what went through your mind

“No not like that! Like with actual business stuff you wont really have to do anything with the mafia”

His flailing around made you laugh a bit and lifted a weight off of your shoulders

Listening to you laugh was almost relaxing, his cheeks heating up from the mere sight of your carefree smile

He gave you a quick tour of the place and introduced you to the others if you ran into them but that was about it

As his assistant you really didnt do much

If anything it felt like he was just an over glorified babysitter

But you shuffled through the files he gave you and sorted them the way he wanted

Tanaka watched you from the corner of his eye while you both worked

It wasnt that he was worried you would do it wrong

But it was just last night that you had that anxiety attack right in front of him

“y/n do you want to go out?”

You looked up from your papers and looked at him in confusion

“Right now? And what do you mean by ‘go out’?”

A big smile appeared on his face

“Yeah right now! Lets go! And dont think too much of it”

He stood up and grabbed his wallet

You followed him and as you two rounded the corner of the block he held the door open to a small cafe

“Go ahead and order whatever you want its on me”

You were weary about being here

Would you two get in trouble for leaving like that?

Tanaka could see the worry still lingering on your face and rose his hand to gently pat your head

“Like I said its on me so dont worry about leaving the office ill take any repercussions if there are any”

The grin on his face took a weight off of your chest and you felt like the air around you wasnt so thick anymore

After getting back to the office no one had even noticed that you two had even left

Whos running this place??

The next few weeks seemed to be fine

It was almost like you lived a normal life and you werent being watched by the mafia

You and tanaka had grown closer and it was easier to talk to the others now

He treated you kindly and tried to understand your situation

Unlike the two interns who always berated you for not knowing where certain files were or would roll their eyes when you would flinch at sudden movements the first few days

But tanaka took it slow with you, doing little things so that youd be more comfortable

At first it was subtle

If you needed to go make a copy of something he’d suddenly need to go grab something from the copy room with you even if you insisted that you could get it for him

Or how he always tried to include you in conversations with others so you would get more comfortable around everyone

Tanaka grew to be someone who it was easy for you to be around

But that sense of calmness was quickly wiped away when you joined him on one of his...excursions

“Heres the case. Now give us what we want”

Tanaka held the case in front of him while you just watched from the car

Sure, he’d take you with him but he’d never let you actually get out

He didnt really want this to take too long

Especially since it was just him against a good handful of men

But the men he was making the trade deal with suddenly saw you in move in the car and locked eyes with you

His smile sent a chill down your spine formed on his face

“New deal: give me that hot piece of ass in the car and you have a deal”

Tanakas jaw clenched at the the disgusting words just said about you

“Im sorry but,”

You couldnt see tanakas face until he looked up at the man in front of him

The look on his face utterly terrified you

“I’ll kill you if you even try to put a hand on them”

Everyone stood there unmoving, too scared to move

Tanaka turned around and headed back to the car where you were

“Deals off if that wasnt clear”

But one of the other men moved towards him

“The fuck you mean its off!”

Tanaka easily evaded the man’s advance and took him down with only a quick few movements

“Anyone else want to try”

The question was simple enough but no one dared made eye contact with him as he got into the car and drove off

The car ride was quiet, youd never seen tanaka look like that before

It scared you

He scared you

Tanaka noticed your silence and reached a hand out to pat your head but his chest went heavy at the sight of you flinching

“Y/n?”

You knew he wouldnt hurt you but you couldnt stop the slight tremble

“Im sorry tanaka”

A weak smile appeared on his face

“It’s fine y/n. i’ll take you home, okay?”

You just nod your head and neither of you talk the rest of the ride

A few days go by and you can feel the distance between you and tanaka growing

Its so noticeable that the others in the office can feel the awkwardness between the two of you

Tanaka suddenly stood up from his seat which startled you but he quickly rose his hands

“Woah sorry didnt mean to scare you”

He said it with such a sad smile on his face that it almost hurt to even look at him

“Ill be back in a moment, gotta use the bathroom”

You nodded your head as he left and let out a sigh

You knew he was just doing business

This was his job

It just shocked you to see the man thats been so kind to you to look...like that

Tanaka on the other hand knew this would happen eventually

He washed his face in the sink and looked up at his reflection

‘Remember your place. They deserve better’

He wiped off his face before heading back to his office only to see you not there

His heart just drop not seeing you there

“y/n?!”

He was about to bolt out of there but as soon as he turned around he bumped right into you

You fell onto the ground and the papers you were holding scattered around everywhere

You both just looked at each other for a moment

“Tanaka--”

Before you could say anymore he scooped you into his arms and you could feel the slight tremble in his shoulders before he quickly pulled away once he realized what he was doing

“Sorry y/n i dont know what came over me”

He started help to pick up the papers you dropped but before he could get too far you pulled him into a hug

He was frozen on the spot at feeling your touch

The warmth from your hands made his heart beat erratically

“Im sorry tanaka”

Your arms tightened around him

Youd seen so many sides of him

How clumsy he was

How kind he could be

Youve also seen how scary he could be and honestly it still shocked you

But you want to believe in him

The him thats been nothing but gentle with you

You could hear him let out a shaky breath before pulling you into his chest

After that your relationship with tanaka went back to normal

Or at least as normal as it could have been

Ever since that day youve started to notice how your heart speeds up whenever you look at him

Or the butterflies in your stomach when he smiles at you

He was careful to not let you see the mafia side of things anymore

You appreciate the thought but youd be lying if you said it didnt worry you when he came to work bandaged or bruised

Today was one of those days where tanaka had picked you up with some visible injuries

The cut on his face looked fairly fresh and without realizing it you reached up and gently ran your thumb over it

“Um what are you doing y/n”

Not that tanaka hated this

He felt his heart flutter at your touch

“You know, i dont mind helping you if you need it”

He smiled and took your hand off of his face

“Thank you y/n but im fine”

Just knowing that you cared was enough for him

‘I love you’

They were words he couldnt say

But he knew this life wasnt for you and he couldnt force you to come live in it

A few weeks go by and you feel like every time you get close to him he pulls back to just keep it barely within the realm of just friends

But that was fine as long as you could stay near

It was another one of those days where tanaka was off doing mafia business so noya kept you company

He always had his guard up but he seemed to take a liking to you

“Do you like tanaka”

The question caught you so off guard you dropped your pen

You looked up at him

“Is it that obvious?”

Noya kept working on whatever was in front of him not even sparing you a glance

“Painfully”

You could feel your embarrassment rising

“But if it makes you feel any better i think he likes you too so promise me...make him happy”

Before you could say anything back noyas phone went off and he immediately answered

His eyes went wide and his head whipped towards you before hanging up and dragging you somewhere

“Noya! Where are we going?”

He rushed you into a car and he took the wheel before driving off to who knows where

“Where are we?”

He got out of the car and opened your door

You were at an apartment complex from the look of it

“We’re at tanakas apartment hurry up”

You immediately got out and followed after him and you almost felt your legs give out seeing the state tanaka was in

Bloody and battered

Hinata was sitting next to his bed with his arms crossed

“Idiot rushed in despite not having a gun”

Noya rolled his eyes

“You know he doesnt like carrying one whyd you let him go alone?”

“Not my fault he didnt stop to think”

They kept talking to each other and went into the other room leaving you both alone

His breathing seemed stable as he slept but tears escaped your eyes as you took a seat next to him

Noya left you with tanaka and told you to take care of him

“He’ll try to tell you hes okay. Dont listen to him hes a fucking liar so take good care of him for me”

It was funny but it almost sounded like a goodbye

Tanaka woke up later that night only to see you sitting next to him with tear stains on your cheeks

The thought of you shedding tears because of him both hurt and warmed his heart

He reached up to wipe your face despite the pain he felt

Your cheeks fit perfectly within his hand and he found it cute how you leaned into his touch subconsciously

He couldnt move much but this is all he needed

You woke up before he did that next morning and decided to make some breakfast for the both of you

When you came back in he was just waking up

“Good morning tanaka”

The smile on your face as the sunlight trickled in through the window made him feel at ease

This...this was the life he longed for

“Morning”

He tried to sit up but flinched while doing so

You rushed to his side and set the food down before helping him up

“Dont push yourself. Youre still pretty banged up”

You changed his bandages for him every evening after that

“I can do this myself you know”

He said it with a light laugh

He was starting to get back on his feet and regained most of his movement and strength

“I know but...id like it if you would rely on me just a bit more. I know i cant do much but i can do this”

He didnt say anything back to you after that

In all honesty he didnt want to do it himself

Every time your hand even brushed over his skin it felt like he was on fire

Even the scars that have long since healed throbbed at your touch

His heart beat so hard against his chest that he was afraid that you could hear it

“There all done! Hope that wasnt too bad”

‘Dont smile at me’

‘Youre far too precious’

‘I dont know what ill do if you look at me like that’

He really was planning to let you go, he was fine with just keeping you at an arms length away but now he knew he was in too deep

You got up to put the first aid kit away but he quickly pulled you into his bed with him and he held you tight against his chest

His face was buried into the crook of your neck

He didnt know what he wanted anymore

He wanted to keep you safe but he couldnt guarantee that with him being in the mafia

He hated it

This life wasnt the one he wanted anymore

The life he wanted was with you

Slowly, he rose his head to look at you

“Run away with me y/n”

Your eyes widened in pure shock

“What...what did you just say?”

You couldnt believe what he just said

His eyes were serious though

“Run away with me. I dont want this life anymore. I want to give you the life you deserve. One filled with happiness and laughter where you dont have to worry about things like if ill come home the next day or not. One where you arent targeted. I love you y/n. I love you so much so please, run away with me or so help me god ill just take you”

He held you so tight that it felt like he might break at any sudden movement

You wrapped your arms around him and held him gently against you so you wouldnt hurt any of his wounds

“Then take me away”

That was all tanaka needed to let go of any reservations that were holding him back up

He kissed you with everything hes been bottling up until this moment

Your lungs burned as pulled away, both out of breath but hungry for more

“I hope you know Im not letting you go. Youre stuck with me now”

You laughed and kissed his forehead

“I wouldnt have it any other way”

That night was spent in each others arms, both of you longing for the others touch and neither of you wanting to be apart for even a second

Noya visited the apartment a few days later only to be met with complete silence

A knowing smile appeared on his face as he shook his head

He knew wherever you two were you were both happy

Because he knew you would keep your promise to him

[icharchivist]

I LOVE MISUMI SO MUCH AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A HUG. okay deep breaths now. uh. i went through captain sky's pirates! for the longest time i misread the play title and was CONVINCED they were like sky pirates like they were all in airships and stuff and honestly. i actually didnt realize they weren't in flying ships until i watched the play which was over halfway thru reading the event. um. clearly i was hoping too hard that i ignored everything else lol. but seriously... why else would the captain be named sky...

anyways gosh. its been a whole 3 months since clockwork heart! now that it's summer (fitting season for this troupe lol) im gonna go thru some more a3 though i think. let's see the actual event...

well first off the lil intro with part of the older summer troupe's play did make me go and read the first chapter of one piece haha. just for the Vibe. the paper airplane competition they had was so fun and i personally related w/ tenma prototyping his paper airplanes and having it absolutely suck because that's so me like taking something so extremely seriously that i forget that precision engineering isnt like actually feasible so all this theory is functionally useless and that i also don't know any aerodynamics theory in the first place. but also “don’t you know that paper airplanes fly farther if you put all your love into them!?” this is so funny i could never say that. pfft i just looked back to the notes i was taking and i was like "oh its paper airplanes because SKY pirates!!!!" i cannot read apostrophes.

i also was like "omg tsuzuru didn't faint immediately" only for everyone to also comment the same thing haha so i knew that wasn't gonna last... i mean i assumed he was trying not to faint bc he wanted to talk abt that original script paper thing but i also noticed that he faints very specifically after people compliment him on it so i like to think he was so relieved that his body gave out.

when they're discussing the play there's a part where yuki talks abt costuming and kazunari talks about like the design colors and the accents and stuff and i was just like !!! bc it's like! that's what sardine search started! with kazunari discussing design aspects with yuki... and now he feels comfortable enough to just talk about it! i loved how natural that was.

also it's been a while since i went through the og summer troupe bc i was sitting there like "wait did people not KNOW misumis grandpa did scripts?" like i didnt remember the script thing specifically but i remember he was an important mankai person for sure. bc its like.... well, why else was misumi living there huh.

i was very happy muku was the second lead in the play! although i am kind of sad tenma didnt play francoise lol... literally i was sitting up in my seat like. my fic idea of tenma saying he'd play a female role real??? but i guess the short jokes wouldn't have worked then.

and then for most of this event i felt Deeply Concerned for misumi and wanted to give him a hug. like it's all like it was a cute "tenma's scared of ghosts!" thing when they found him but also he was just living out there alone? he’s got great athletic skills but how long has he been living out there alone. I’m really asking how long. he's not that old how long was it. his grandfather died six years ago it how long has misumi been living alone how long has he been on the run. “gramps was the only one who didn’t abandon me. he was the one who made sure I wasn’t alone.” i am so worried about him. and misumi's whole thing with not being able to remember hakkaku's face Really got me! like that's just such a painful thing and like. idk. personally as someone who can really only visit some of my relatives very rarely i definitely get him.

anyways the treasure map! that was so cute. also i didn't remember how muku and kazunari's room looked,, it was so fresh feeling. oh wow! muku and kazunaris room looks so fresh and nice. tenma hiding a self help directionally challenged book is also so hilarious. yuki re: yuzo “how is that geezer always so free? does he really have a job?” how are YOU free, yuki??? you have TWO jobs (acting, costuming) AND ur a student!

when they couldn't find the last treasure box i immediately called it like "i bet what he liked most was being able to hear the troupe perform. bc those precious memories w/ his friends is what he treasures most" and i pretty much nailed it on that account i feel. i am so glad madoka is the one who showed up to meet muku and izumi bc he is actually a good kid which made me feel so relieved. the my master's mesmerized by mystery event made me cry because i felt so bad for homare and this made me emo but i didn't cry which is great. also when muku and izumi first try to talk to him i think it's so funny that muku's like "maybe tenma and yuki would have done better..." if u let tenma and yuki do it they would have gotten arrested 100%.

still i got extremely sad when madoka was like "“so he’s still alive…” like izumi’s inner voice is like oh! he’s smiling hearing about him! guess he doesn't hate him after all :) meanwhile fucking sirens going off in my brain like madoka had literally no assurance on whether his brother was alive or dead. what the hell. anyways the “…if I always hung around such a weird person, I’d start acting like one, too.” i want to engage misumi's parents in mortal combat. that's such a real feeling tho, i definitely remember growing up like madoka with regards to parents being like don't be like your older sibling AT ALL (though not to such a serious extent as him). even the way he immediately picks out st.flora by saying that's where smart people go...

after they got the final treasure box back i finally watched the play lol... moments that stood out to me. misumi's outfit is GREAT although i wish there were triangles on it. i think it is SO funny that blackbeard is not only a woman but their name is francoise. that's so funny to me. like they're not even elegant enough for that name when they're not disguised. also henry being like "ya u guys were too miserable to steal from so I hung around" is so funny to me. and misumi is like. not even that tall in comparison to muku and yuki which is so funny to me. so i like to imagine when sky is like "the smaller they are, the more famous they be" he like solemnly takes off his platform boots like it'll gain him instant fame somehow. also jonny gives massive unpaid intern vibes to me. also with the whole triangle island thing and the treasure box... are we sure tsuzuru is not like a precog or something because there's similarities to real life and there's this which is something else.

and the paper airplane coming back at the end was so cute! though... misumi's father works for mr.kamikizaka... that's the god troupe guy! god. also im squinting at when misumis dad is like do paperwork and im like. is this guy... profiting off of his kid's script labor? or is he perhaps repurposing hakkaku's scripts... evil. madoka please be safe.

some other minor notes i did NOT miss yuzo going "back then, he was still…” um sir. have something to say abt izumi's dad perhaps? i'm realllly curious as to why the whole mankai troupe went no contact. the ending with the fireworks was so cute! the whole summer triangle thing, too, like god. they are all just Best Friends and that is their treasure! it's so sweet. also the way summer troupe makes fun of tenma like very nicely bc tenma is just like so. bluffs all the time but is also stupid sweet to the troupe is like... idk. i love it when tenma and yuki bicker it just feels like something that grounds the team it feels so natural yknow? it's so nice. also i listened to the song for this play and the inst is so fun!

that's about all the thoughts i had... just three events between me and nocturnality now :)

MISUMI EVENT LET'S GOOOOO

it's already long so, my own reply/thoughts under the cut :3c

Misumi deserves all the hugs in the world and that's final! god. AND HELP THE MISREAD. To be fair there IS a pirates in spaceships play way further down the line (tho it was never covered by the EN server) so it's not THAT far fetched. I feel like "Captain Sky" works for Misumi in the sense of both, freeing himself from his family in a way that can be aiming for the sky, and in general the fact Misumi finds a lot of solace in the nightsky especially. We see it in this event with his love for the summer sky and especially the summer triangle, which, for him, equals his ultimate happiness, but also how he has a fascination with the moon as we see from his crossbackstage with Tsumugi. Angstily, i could imagine that at a time his loneliness was at its peak he found himself some happiness in looking at the Sky, so eventually this name can be an extention of that: of this freedom but also of this sense of belonging that he found there. But if any of that is to take for granted it also means we need to start considering that Tsuzuru is a witch for figuring it out. That's a thing.

BUT YAY welcome back, it's so good to see you again :3c it's always a pleasure to see you go through a3!

And omg for the vibe that's pretty sweet. And YEAH the paper airplane is so cute!! Also a call back to the fact a competition also happens in Misumi's base SR's backstage i think? and just, man the way it comes back to haunt us. But RIP on you relating to Tenma in that moment this is so funny. Tho it's really honestly pretty sweet especially to see Tenma being so… childish. I've rewatched the anime recently and by god, Tenma gets to be so silly and participate in so many childish things as time goes by that i forgot just how much he had to play the adult for his job and how he denied himself some happiness like this unless it was for acting in movies. So everytime he gets to have silly moment like that my heart melt. Sweet kid… (also if you want to suffer i have to let you know that the Stageplay of a3 has Misumi and Madoka have a duet about paperplanes: part 1 & part 2 )

HELP THE TSUZURU THING. Tsuzuru fainting best running gag, i'm sorry Tsuzuru for your suffering but we must all admit it's endlessly funny. Also i love that you pick up he collapses as soon as he's complimented. The relieve from the stress that was basically holding him awake for that time help.

AND YEAH GOD THE YUKI AND KAZUNARI THING. honestly this is what solds me so much on those events and that i can't imagine skipping directly to act 2's main story: not only the characters grow a LOT during those events but you get to also see the direct results of how it affected them. From Sardine Search we know Yuki was doing it all on his own and was overwhelming himself and Kazunari didn't feel like he could share his design ideas with Yuki, and in the end the two of them realizing they can lift each other up by being a support on that regard, and the fact that Yuki especially opened enough to let Kazunari have a place in his creative process, that the closed off kid opened up and that the kid who wouldn't know how to assert himself now find his place proposing ideas to Yuki and seeing the two of them discussing on tandem, and being so excited and building each other up… god!!! this is so good. I love to see them heal and grow after each event and keeping the lessons they learnt up. It's so touching.

And omg yeah i think Misumi mentions gramps but like, in a whisper? And even Izumi isn't sure she caught it. So the rest of Summer doesn't specifically get it, i think? i'm not sure, else Izumi heard it. I know the anime did away with it with just, not having Misumi bring it up at all DLKFJDLF but yeah! people didn't know! but yeah like, this is also the obvious thing as to why Misumi felt he could come living here help.

Muku being second lead was SOOO good, i'm so happy with seeing him becoming more assertive and confident on that regard. He did shine so well after all of this! And DLKFJLDKFJ Be the change you want to see in the world, go write this fic! Tenma deserves it. But yeah alas they needed to mock Yuki on his heigh, typical. (Tsuzuru revenge fantasy of making fun of Yuki's heigh as payback for the Villager C thing)

And god yeah… yeah. Misumi's whole story is seriously so heartbreaking. I think a3 works the line between comedy and tragic very well in a way, where Misumi's introduction was really funny because it was burrying the leads of the implications of how tragic it is that he's there thanks to how silly the situation was, and then, when finally it addresses the tragic it's like oh. right. that was here from the start i forgot. For how long Misumi had run off, he does mention that he's been here since "before there started to be noise in the theater", which means he has been here for at least before Spring. Initially i would have thought it meant that he must have been here for a couple of months before Spring started to act there, if he can take this event as a temporal mark. But then thinking about it, Matsukawa mentions that the room has been haunted for a very long time and that's why he never came in and it makes me wonder if Misumi's marks aren't skewed by loneliness to the point it means nothing: could have been years since he's there. Which makes more sense as to why Madoka thought he was dead. If Misumi had been gone only for a year or so, i feel like this wouldn't have been Madoka's first thought, so……….. Personally i'm inclined to think he perhaps stayed one or two years after his gramps death with his family and the more lonely he felt + the grief, the more he felt he couldn't stand it, and eventually he came back to the one place that could make him think of the only person who made him feel like home: Mankai. This was my Detective Work™ of "trying to read between the lines but especially between my tears" But yeah man him forgetting Hakkaku was so sad 😭 poor kid.

The tresure map part of the event was adorable! I love the tidbits into seeing the other summer people being silly in that search, it was adorable. AND HELP at roasting Yuki there :sob:

And waaa you know their heart so well 😭 And oh boy Madoka. he's such a good kid…. I'm glad at least you kept yourself emotionally stable! this is a plus because this event personally just murders me in more way than one. ALSO HELP "i think it's so funny that muku's like "maybe tenma and yuki would have done better…" if u let tenma and yuki do it they would have gotten arrested 100%. " this killed me on the spot. you're 100% correct.

And GOD yeah. yeah Madoka's reaction raises a hundred of red flags about his parents this is terrible. AND YEAH let's engage Misumi's parents in mortal combat this is so fucked up. Like the implications of both how they isolated Misumi, making him know he was too weird for them, isolating Madoka from him, Madoka being too young probably to process it other than "i don't want to shame my parents so i'll do what they tell me even if i don't understand why" and only realizing how fucked up it was once Misumi was gone, but even so, the fact he thought he was dead probably means his parents are either telling him so, or that they just never bring him up at all and so he jumped to conclusion. It's honestly really fucked up.

As for relating to the situation, oof. I feel you for that. And yeah little tidbits about me but my elder sibling ran away from home when i was 6yo never to be seen again and yeah, so, this event did a particular amount of psych dmg to me in a way i could never anticipate. I related a lot to Madoka's situation on that regard, and perhaps project some of the uglier aspects of what a situation like this means on him, but by god. This is so cruel. And like, out of this experience, Madoka was having the "don't be like your brother" when he was still here which in itself was damaging, but with on top of that him running away it adds another level of pressure on Madoka of "not abandonning the family like my brother did". There's this type of pain that, even if you manage to process that it was for the best that they left because you eventually process how badly the family has treated him (and perhaps even you in the process), the absolute pain of the abandon, of being left behind, and especially feeling responsible on "if i wasn't a silly kid who pushed him away perhaps he would still be here, but also, wouldn't it have been more pain for him?" and therefore not wanting to put your family through that again, and just. Listen. Madoka is a mess. I'm claiming Madoka i'm giving him so many psych problem, my city now. So even if his family would be better off without Misumi, the idea, the social stigma, of the younger doing the same, would in itself be either a present or a subtextual pressure on Madoka and god this kid must be going through it. And on top of that "even if he manages to process it was for the best" is something he can only do NOW that he knows Misumi is alive. Honestly Madoka's relief made him take it in in such a mature and graceful way for such a kid. takes deep breath sorry this event touched on something extremely primeval in me and it makes me take it in all of the complex ways, and honestly it baffles me how well a3 did capture this experience. Because goodness it's an insane one, and for a minor character (at this point at least) i feel like they did such a good job to portray some nuances on that regard. And back to Misumi it's also just a nightmare for him as well, he had to sacrifice his little brother to be able to move on and be happier, but also with the belief his brother, whom he loves dearly, hated him. It must be so painful when he gets to think about it and it's just. god. so much.

aNYWAY, the play now. It's sUCH a fun play i love it so much. but yeah mood Misumi deserved more triangles. AND HELP THE COMMENTS ON FRANCOISE. Very true, very true. i LOVE Henry in this play, he's so so funny and honestly seeing pure and cute Muku play "Bloody Henry" was incredible. I love how we can still buy him. Innocent face to hide his bad intentions yeah? so good. Muku ever since he joined Mankai like "i want to play a prince, but if i can't i will be the biggest thug of the play", godspeed baby. "so i like to imagine when sky is like "the smaller they are, the more famous they be" he like solemnly takes off his platform boots like it'll gain him instant fame somehow." THIS IS SO FUNNY this is the only way i'll picture it now. And god right, such a good play. AND YEA LEGIT TSUZURU IT'S BECOMING TERRIFYING. Tsuzuru doesn't write, he gets possessed by the spirit of whoever is going to be the lead of that play and suddenly he writes something that will force you to face an intense buried trauma whenever you want it or not. Fucking terrifying.

The ending was really adorable as it is. And yeah oof the fact the father works for the God Troupe really makes it so sour. Even if Misumi and Madoka manages to patch things up they still have this thing separating them… how unfair. And yeah i read it that way too of, the father profiting of his son's writing. Whenever Madoka writes from Hakkaku's plays or are 100% original, he's clearly being exploited lol. but hey "don't disappoint me like your brother" must be a hell of a motivation. Dipshit. I will fight their parents myself. and Adopt Madoka. That's the least i can do.

And god yeah. yuzo still so mysterious… share your secret with us. Please. we need to know. I really want to know toooo. And YEAH THE FIREWORKS WERE SO CUTE. I'm so glad it's becoming a tradition for them, it's honestly so so adorable. And the summer triangle really pushed Misumi's obsession with triangle from cute to so meaningful i'm bawling everytime he talks about them. IT's such a sweet scene. And the fact he finds all of his friends to be his treasure is just. bites fist. it's adorable i'm so happy for them. And yeah god, re what i was saying at the begining i love to see Tenma just being silly and having a good time. I remember some Itaru's minichat where he also brings it up (try this link) and it's so soft to me. and yeah god mood, i love their bickering, i love this troupe, it has such a nice dynamic and vibe and you can feel them just. being much happier everytime they get to be together. It's so sweet. I love them. And the song for this play is SOOOO GOOd, Misumi's voice actor went off with it it's so pretty. Also i've seen it live and by god. He goes ham it's 😳 okay!

Thank you once again for sharing all of your thoughts, it's really always a pleasure to read them ❤❤❤❤ The a3 experience will always bring tears to my eyes truly.

And owo Nocturnality soon!!!! The very normal event that i can be soooo normal about. Normality. LEt's GOO

OH and the next 3 have some of my fav moments but also i feel like i've been saying this about every a3 events DLKJFDKLFJDFLK. At least the good thing with a3's event is that even when it's not about your fav you will always find something worth your emotions. So great. Can't wait to see your thoughts on what follows :3c

Thank you once again for sharing it all ❤❤❤ have a nice day!

[7wanderingpaws]

He Loves Love (3/3)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: solo singer! AU

Word count: 4K+

Warnings: none! just a playful Baek!

--- Please make sure to read the the notes at the end! ---

Masterlist

tags: @iloveagain​ @buttercupbbh​ @wooya1224​ @baekberrie​ (sorry if I left out someone? its been ages since i updated and I didnt know if its okay to tag those who commented on chap. 2 :( didnt want to be rude ><)

1 <<< 2 <<< 3

It was the day of the release. The release of his magazine cover.

The PR went… mad.

“Listen, sweetie, editor, I don't think we will have enough pieces. The damn thing is literally going to be sold out in a matter of hours.”

You received this call before lunch time. Lunch time was very early on in the day. So why was Baekhyun's magazine cover about to be sold out in the entirety of Korea on the same day of the release date?

“Erm, yeah about that. I am an editor, just like you said. You need to call the-”

“I know, I know,” she interrupted but there wasn't an inch of impatience in her voice. “What I am trying to say is - congratulations! You did a great job!”

It took you a moment to realize what she was saying, because she was right. Your participation in this issue was big; after all you took care of the props and settings and you were looking over his pictures during the photoshoot. Out of nowhere, your heartbeat sped up. “Oh, thank you! That's very kind of you, but I still need to improve a lot-”

In that moment, the happy ding! that never failed to make you all trembly and nervous, sounded on your desk.

Waiter: miss editor am I seeing correctly????? wowow ihavenowords

Waiter: did you just make me sell out your magazine?????? ihavenowords

Waiter: did you save yourself at least one piece??? huhuuhuhuuu ihavenowords ><

Waiter: i think someone just made themselves a good name in the mag industry ^^ congratulations!!!

Waiter: does that mean i will get to see you? hmmm maybe to give a congratulatory bouquet of flowers???? 🤭🤭🤭 🌹💐🌺

Biting your lip quickly to suppress the happy grin, you quickly attended to the phone call, chatting a bit more with the PR lady. Honestly, you didn't like to talk to them much as they were all over the place, too demanding and didn’t have a great understanding of a creative mind. Thankfully, you didn't have to deal with them too often.

It hadn't been that long since your last meeting with Baekhyun. His kisses on your cheek and one kiss on your forehead seemed to be still burning on your skin, sometimes making you drag the pad of your index finger over the mentioned places, needing some sort of closure from him that you had yet to receive. 

Texting now was a full on habit between you, causing you to become sad, disappointed and even anxious if he wouldn’t reply that soon, worried he changed his mind about you, and his feelings towards you. Because even though you admitted to him that you liked him, he was being still very cautious, still very polite with you, as if there was some sort of invisible line between you two that he was scared to cross, for some reason.

Trying to look at it from his point of view, there were many risks of him wanting a relationship with you, and you couldn't not agree. If anything, you were being thankful for his thoughtfulness and carefulness, for if he messed up even the tiniest bit around you and your secret meetings of a blooming start of a relationship, he would not see the end of the hate, and neither would you. Heck, his career was on the line.

You managed to reply to his playful messages that went on and on, before you would have to dive into another cover magazine plan that you had to start thinking through.

Me: I think I should congratulate YOU! the most wanted man in Korea it seems ;)

Me: these days i have some important meetings… an upcoming cover… im definitely doing overtime today :( when is it good for you? I will try to arrange my schedule with yours

Waiter: ohoh the most wanted man you say? i wonder if the one i want wants me just as much…….???

Waiter: i would like to see you more often before my album drops, you know i will get quite busy and not seeing you for too long doesnt seem to work well with me anymore ><

Waiter: sooo… i will come pick you up from work tonight just shoot me a msg *^

Just as his messages could make your heartbeat go into a crazy overdrive, it seemed he could also make it completely stop. Or so you thought. His flirting and now his proposal to pick you up gave you a huge shock. That would be a first for sure.

Me: sure! have your phone with you Mr Korea

Me: I wonder too if that person wants you as much ;)

You decided not to pay him any more attention after that as much as you were tempted. Your belly was levitating along with your body, feeling high on vitamin Baekhyun. Pressing down the urge to tease him, you put your phone away, your hands slightly trembly from the attention you kept receiving from someone like him.

If your predictions were even close to correct, you wanted to tell him: yes, the one that he wanted, wanted him just as much.

…

You were fast to leave your work that day. Excited butterflies were eating your insides away, and the only way to make them calm down was to finally meet the person who always made their wings flutter.

Baekhyun was already parked in the underground parking lot, his car the only one with the motor on - and the only car of his class. You spotted him sitting in his car in his white jersey shirt, his left elbow propped on the windowsill as his index finger was stuck between his teeth, gnawing at it. When he saw you, he took a double-take and quickly changed his posture which made you giggle.

Baekhyun was following you with his eyes, going even to the length of leaning in over the passenger seat so as not to lose sight of you until he reached over and opened the passenger door for you so you could slide in.

“Why, thank you,” you smiled cheerfully as you sat down. You closed the door and put your bag down in between your legs.

“My pleasure,” he said back with a pleasant smile. “Hand me the bag, I'll put it in the backseat.”

You quickly did as he asked and then reached for your seatbelt.

“How was work today? We should celebrate!” he exclaimed as he put the car into drive and made his way out of the parking lot.

You hummed, gnawing on your lip. “That would be wonderful,” you said but hesitated about offering anything further. It was difficult to read the situation; you wouldn't know what you could afford to do with him and what not; what would be stepping over the line and what wouldn't. But Baekhyun said he liked you. In fact, he even told you to look at him like at any other man. That meant you shouldn't doubt all the possible hang-out ideas you had, right?

“I think it is you who deserves a gift,” you murmured and stole a look at his concentrated face. You reached the outside now, the dark evening slowly changing into night, the light of passing cars illuminating your faces.

“Hmm, I think so, too. Something in lines of - I can pick whatever I want, huh?”

Hiding your smile behind your hand, you nodded. “Yes, I can grant something. But don't make it expensive. Even though you sold out our magazine, it doesn't mean I will get a pay rise right away.”

“Oh, it won't include any monetary value,” he promised and turned to look at you when he stopped at the red light, the line in front of you seemingly going on for at least a mile. “It would be something you can and should be able to do freely.”

Despite the darkness of the car, Baekhyun could still spot that gorgeous, astounding blush colouring your cheeks. He really grew to love it; to make you so flustered you couldn't help but grow all red, just for him. “What do you think?” he asked quietly, still observing you with a small lopsided smile.

First you looked at your connected hands in your lap and then looked up at him through your lashes. “Depends what it is, but I owe you, so…” you trailed off.

He chuckled quietly, causing your heart to skip a beat before he started driving again, the line in front slowly moving. “Wonderful.”

Within forty-five minutes, you found yourself seated in a Korean restaurant, both yours and Baekhyun's shoes left at the entrance. Baekhyun, knowing the owner, asked for a separate room where people usually held business dinners, to ensure you would have full privacy and could enjoy each other.

It was a bit mind-blowing how much he could just do. His authority was admirable but at the same time it reminded you how you could hardly compare. If you would have asked the owner to give you a separate room, you might have had to fight for it or give him some money. Baekhyun seemed to walk in like a prince, confidently talking to people as if it was so natural.

“Can you give me a moment?” he asked suddenly, already standing up. “I forgot something in the car. Choose a meal until then.”

You nodded and saw him shuffling towards the door. Quickly going through the menu, you were thankful it was just an ordinary Korean restaurant that specializes in noodle soups and wasn't pricey. Picking the one that seemed the most special, you put the menu away just in time for Baekhyun to return back. His right hand was behind his back, obviously hiding something.

He had a sheepish smile on his face as he stepped towards you and handed you a beautiful bouquet of colourful flowers, the smell of which instantly hit your nose. You felt your mouth stretch into a wide smile as you stood up to your feet.

“Oh my god, what is this for, Baekhyun?” you asked, looking up into his eyes just to find them sparkling with anticipation.

“I know I never asked you out on an official date, so I might not be dressed up to my best potential, but I really wanted to give you something and today, as I said, I wanted to give you a bouquet. Please, accept it,” he added breathily, watching you with bated breath, nudging the flowers out to you.

You giggled and he smiled right away as you took the bouquet in your hand, careful as to not hold his fingers that were still curled around the stems. “Thank you.”

As you wanted to pull back, he leaned in, grabbing your wrist gently that was holding the flowers, bringing you closer. His lips hovered over your cheek and he eventually pressed them there. “Good job on your first cover,” he murmured and leaned away the slightest to watch your surprised reaction. Your eyes were watching his mouth and he had to restrain himself from going any further. He didn't want to cross the line. Not yet.

Unfortunately, you had to separate when the doors opened and the waiter came in. She was taken aback for the slightest of moments when she noticed you and Baekhyun backing away from each other but both of you recovered quickly and sat down, ready to order.

“This Vietnamese noodle soup is my favourite,” mentioned Baekhyun, looking at you. “So that is your gift to me - eating my favorite food with me.”

…

It was late June, the beginning of the most humid weeks of the year with the monsoon season around the corner.

Baekhyun became so busy with the release of his album back in May, that you rarely got to see him afterwards, although he made sure to see you a couple of times per week even if he was on the verge of falling asleep. Besides meeting, you were always chatting on the phone, him updating you about his daily schedules while you would mostly talk and send pictures about the same old stuff - your office, your computer screen or your late lunch. Or a selfie. You were on that basis now, despite a first kiss never happening.

It made you think sometimes if you were the one who was supposed to make the first move. If you grew eager to finally feel him in that way, then he must have also had some similar feelings, right? You had been dying to kiss him since the first time he said he liked you. And it was late June now.

Late June meant that the music awards show was happening just this particular night. Baekhyun had been texting you eager messages to double-check that you would really be attending like you told him you would.

While you quickly looked yourself over in the mirror in your office - you worked even today, a Saturday - you checked your phone's screen, seeing the previews of his messages.

Waiter: finally our schedules overlap ❤️ Waiter: i cant actually believe it  Waiter: huhuhuhu missy are you done with preparing? im curious to see.... Waiter: its just that it would be difficult to do so without it…

Hastily checking your earrings, you read the previews with a large smile. It would be an exciting night.

When you arrived at the event along with your colleagues, you couldn't help feeling clammy from the excitement. The possibility of spotting Baekhyun was making you sick with anticipation. It wasn't even the amount of people attending the event, it was just him; just the idea that he was somewhere there and hopefully he was looking for you just like you were looking for him.

Your colleagues hurried to sit down as the ceremony was about to start. Since you were busy in the office, you ended up leaving the headquarters much later than planned, but there was nothing you could do about it anymore.

The lights dimmed just when you made yourself comfortable, making it too difficult to look around and recognize faces. Deciding to quickly check the messages you didn't have time to look at before, you finally saw what Baekhyun was bombarding you so much about.

Waiter: finally our schedules overlap Waiter: i cant actually believe it Waiter: huhuhuhu missy are you done with preparing? im curious to see how you look so you could send me a selfie and so then i can recognize you at the event hm? without having to stare everywhere and become suspicious Waiter: its just that it would be difficult to do so without it sooooo ????? Waiter: yah!! where did you go?? Waiter: ex...excuse me? ehm ehm!!! Waiter: wow okay… Waiter: Y/N … disappeared... Waiter: i guess you are busy >< im arriving at the venue soon update me so i know where you attttttt okiiii??? ㅎㅅㅎ

You hid your smile behind your hand and quickly typed him a message to update him like he demanded. You couldn't send a selfie anymore because of the silly lights and your superiors being at the same table, you couldn't afford to be on your phone all the time. Hyeri, as much as she was kind, didn't like it when the job was not done properly, so you made sure to pay attention to the performances while you felt your phone vibrate with messages most probably from Baekhyun.

You bit your lip to keep in the smile, your heart fluttering. How was he able to be this… gorgeous even through messages? How was he able to make your heart beat frantically even when he was not around you? Unknowingly, your desire for him grew by tenfold, the sudden urge to meet him almost overtaking your actions, but one strict stare from Hyeri and you stopped squirming in your chair as you realized you did with a horrified look. Wow. You had to do something about this, and it had to be very soon.

To your big misfortune, you never spotted Baekhyun until it was his turn to overtake the stage. As much as you expected something huge, it was anything but that. No props, just a simple mic stand and then, a Baekhyun in a ready-to-go-for-a-date look, plus four dancers and he was able to fill the huge stage to the brim with his presence. That was it. Simple as that.

You inhaled his entire performance, the loud screamings of crazy fans not enough to pull you out of your reverie that consisted of Byun Baekhyun and Byun Baekhyun only. His movements, so sharp yet so smooth, his flirting with the camera, his lip bites, and that crazy happy smile; all of it. He was changing images from lethal sexy, through lazily suggestive, then sweetly gorgeous until becoming cute and ready to pet on the head. Without anything more to add, he had each flavor of a candy to offer and you had never been this addicted to candies in your life.

...

You met him accidentally when you were leaving the toilets that were meant for the VIPs. Closing the door behind you, you felt its cold surface press to your bare back when Baekyun appeared in front of you, freezing momentarily when he recognized you.

He smiled instantly, happy to finally see you, before he let his eyes wander. Finally, he let you know that he was looking. Oh he was. Your dress was revealing on the back, which he had yet to witness, but the front was completely covered, hugging your chest and waist, telling Baekhyun that there was something to look at for sure. The long, wavy skirt that stopped just above the floor was bunched up in your hand, showing sparkly high-heeled shoes that were the cause of the pain in your ankles.

None of you said a word as you took a note of his fancy suit, the simple stage outfit now gone. It was fully black, but once again you couldn't comprehend how broad his shoulders and chest were despite his shirt that was tucked into his pants being black, too.

“Good performance,” you broke the silence finally, meeting his somewhat eager gaze. “I have to admit, I was swooning with the other girls, too.”

That got Baekhyun's attention. His eyebrow rose in question and he stepped closer but not before making sure there were no prying eyes in the small corridor. His body covered yours from anyone, were you to be disturbed. “Oh, were you, really?”

You nodded, your smile teasing. “Yeah.”

He smiled gently, his gaze running over your features that were touched up with make-up. “I'm glad. If I wanted to impress someone, it was you.”

“You did that a long time ago,” you admitted shyly, averting your eyes so he wouldn't catch you shyness.

You heard him letting out a laugh through his nose. “So cute,” he muttered, stepping even closer. “I have to run back but let me drive you home tonight.”

His words made your head snap up though you weren't that much smaller from him anymore thanks to the heels. His words ignited something inside of you. “You came with your car?”

“I asked my friend to bring it over to the venue,” he said. “I am not going back to my company after this. I finally found you here and-” he sighed softly, shaking his head as he looked at you, “I want to spend some time with you. Alone.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, his look making you all itchy and needy. Without much thinking, you found yourself nodding a tad too eagerly which made Baekhyun smile. “Alright,” you whispered, “text me. But I can't leave before my superiors do.”

“Can I just steal you?”

Giggling, you shook your head and suppressed the need to hold his hand. “I'm afraid no. But I will try my best to get out of it quickly.”

His smile was so gentle as he nodded slowly, closing his eyes for a second before stepping even closer, his fingertips running over your clothed forearm in the most feather-like way. “Okay. I'll be waiting for you,” sweetheart.

…

The car came to a complete stop in front of your small apartment building. Audi had quite the silent engine anyway, but now with it being turned off, you felt like silence had a physical form and was growing in on you, making the tension between you and Baekhyun the more difficult to withstand.

Given his silence, you knew that you should say something, and you also knew what you were supposed to do. It was now or never. “Would you maybe… like to come in?”

He glanced over, checking your expression to see if you were serious. He parted his lips but hesitation stole the words away from him. You chuckled when he opened his mouth again and smiled abashedly. “'I’d love to.”

Oh my god, you thought as the both of you made your way towards your apartment. In panic, you tried to quickly think over what state you left your flat in exactly, but it seemed that your mind was clogged up, unable to come up with anything that could possibly explain what was happening in that very moment. Byun Baekhyun, the superstar, was coming inside your apartment. And he seemed to be rather quiet.

Was he overthinking this? Maybe he would realise this was all a mistake and that you weren't good enough for him. Maybe you did something off-putting today?

As you were typing in the code to your house, you felt his strong presence behind you, his gaze on your naked back, and you swore the tension just grew even more when you let him enter your little safety den first. Surely, it was no luxury like he must have been used to by then, given the many years of singing career, but you could only hope it would be enough.

You had been far too gone for him. If he were to dump you, you might end up hurt and heartbroken. 

Letting the door close behind you, you wanted to follow him only to see him standing just a couple of steps ahead of you, looking into the apartment but not moving further inside. “You can enter, Baekyhun.”

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he said softly out of nowhere, catching you off guard with his honest words. Letting them sink in, you bit your lip, feeling your heartbeat accelerate again. It wasn't possible to get a heart attack, right? 

He was standing in front of you while your back was pressed to the front door you just closed behind you. “Thank you,” you whispered, matching his intimate tone and feeling like you were about to combust. “You look really handsome tonight.” And everyday.

He smiled, which you couldn't see as he still had his back on you. Just then, he turned and with that pleasant expression on his face made those separating two steps towards you until he stood right in front of you, causing you to look up. “Thank you.”

You nodded, feeling the terrible blush creeping up into your cheeks. Actually your entire body was suddenly on a heat wave, feeling the prickles of sweat to form under your dress as he stared at you affectionately. God, you wanted him so much it was really becoming unbearable.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You just asked one,” you replied mischievously, grinning, just to be rewarded with a wide smile from him as he stepped even closer, your heart clenching painfully. Was it the chemistry that was so painful?

“Cheeky,” he whispered, his breath almost hitting your cheek. You kept his eye contact before you nudged him with a go on.

What, do you want to kiss me on the cheek again? you desperately wanted to ask, to tease him. Or would this finally be it? Would he finally just... kiss you? 

“May I kiss you, sweetheart. On the lips.” His intonation was far from that of a question. He was so hot, goodness. And your knees were suddenly jelly-like as you couldn’t stop staring into his eyes when you nodded.

He let out a breathy laugh when he almost pressed his body into yours. Almost. “You don’t like to confirm things out loud with me, do you, beauty?”

“Yes, you may kiss me, Baekhyun. Please, just finally kiss me.”

It was almost as if he wouldn't wait for your approval anyway, as he was leaning in before your words even left your mouth, his hands coming to gently rest against the door; caging you in, yet making you feel even more safe. He was carefully watching your features as he pressed his lips to yours, one hand coming to cradle your face gently before he finally captured your upper lip and you melted. 

Closing your eyes, you sighed as you let your hands slide up his toned chest and around his neck when he pressed himself into you just a little bit closer, a very much satisfied hum coming out of his throat that sent shock waves down your body. That deadly hum. It could really do anything to you, it was that attractive to you.

You dared to run your fingers through his hair that had gel in it, but still felt so cutely soft under your touch. You played with his pillows, prolonging the gentle sucking as you dragged his lower lip towards you, feeling the wetness of his mouth. He leaned in as you separated for the slightest of moments, tilting his head to the other side, unconsciously making one step closer so you felt him on your chest and the surface of the door on your back.

Smooch after smooch, you soon realized he was a loud kisser that liked the licking sounds and the responses from you as you breathed out softly while his thumb caressed your blushed cheek.

Another loud smooch, and this time he was the one who dragged your lower lip towards him with his teeth, as he bumped his nose with yours, tilting his head to the opposite side again while both of his hands cradled your face with utmost care.

Eventually, he kissed you one last time, ending it with him pressing his forehead to yours, not opening his eyes just yet. You didn’t either, relishing in the lingering feeling of him around your mouth as his warm pants pushed in through your parted lips. Slowly, he nuzzled your nose and you giggled softly which prompted him to open his eyes to meet yours already on him.

“That was better than I could ever imagine,” he whispered and smiled handsomely.

You blushed even more, if that was possible. “Ditto.”

His eyes widened and he leaned away a bit. “Don’t tell me you fantasized about kissing me?”

You shrugged but didn’t meet his eye. “How could I not? I’m a human, aren’t I? And you know I like to be straightforward.”

He smirked, knowingly nodding to himself. “Oh yeah, right. The straightforward business.”

You chuckled. “You’re too good of a kisser.”

“Only the best for you,” he winked and those words made you feel things. Before you could reply, he blurted: “Can I be your boyfriend?”

Smiling widely, you nodded, feeling absolutely elated. This was really happening. “Yes, you can be my boyfriend, Baekhyun.”

He sweeped you in his arms, bringing you in for another kiss. “That means,” he murmured between the kisses, “that I can kiss you just like that. And I can finally call you sweetheart,” he breathed the nickname before opening his mouth and devouring you, showing how passionate of a kisser he could be.

You never doubted him, of course, but in situations like these, reality was always better than your poor imagination, for your brain could never produce the exceptional feeling of having Byun Baekhyun’s lips on yours, feeling the moisture and his playful tongue, his creativity of teasing you with it astonishing. No. Nothing could ever compare.

There was only one Byun Baekhyun and he was a superstar. Off-limits to almost everyone. But not to you. Not anymore.

--- --- --- --- ---

A/N: And that is the end! This is the final part, so with this, I am also saying goodbye to this story that made my heart flutter a wee bit... ^^ Thank you to whomever sent me support via comments/reblogs, dms, I was glad this story could bring something enjoyable to the table! ❤   

--- As you know, these 3 chapters were supposed to be about how our characters met and became a couple. So I hope I delivered well! I know I put the M sign in the beginning way back in May, but while plotting, I realized it wasnt suitable for these 3 parts. It would take me more chapters to write to bring it to that point (hint: if you request it as a standalone oneshot later, I am willing to write it but otherwise it would need more relationship building). 

I hope this explains it! 

Thank you again!

Please let me know what you thought, it would mean a lot and its free!

CuriousCat Ask box is also open! Or comments!💕

[smell-like-daisiess]

A Letter To You

Its been a while since we spoke. Since you found someone to fill my side of the bed. Since you found someone to say your good nights and good mornings to. Since you found someone to rant about how hard you day was. One thing im proud to say though is how proud I am of myself. Before I get into that I just want to tell you how Ive been so you dont ever feel the need to ask. There are days when I feel like im on top of the world, when i am insanely happy and take advantage of that because you just never know. Then some days i feel so sad, but dont flatter yourself... Its not about you.. Its about me. Lately Ive been feeling not fulfilled with my purpose in this world and it stresses me out. honestly. I think as each day passes though im figuring it out. Its not often I feel depressed though. I feel so indifferent with life that im just going with the flow. I talk to whoever i want, I sleep with whoever i want. I mean all that is meaningless but i dont mind that because that just means i dont need to invest emotionally into it. But as my day goes by i realize that i never needed you. I never thought id live each day without you because i always pictured life with you. How we always talked about what we would name our kids, looking at houses and fantasizing filling it with all the love we could give. But then i realized all that was unrealistic once i figured out that you never loved me, you never pictured that for us because you wouldnt have done the things that you did. i realized how much i deserved better and realized how much of a not good person you are. I hate that shit though, i hate thinking horrible about you so i always tried to thing good thoughts about you but then i cant. All that negative shit over powers all the small good things you did. Thats the thing though... you never did anything big for me, you never cared to even love me to accept me for me. Everyday i have to erase all the bad things you said about me and how much you told me that no one is going to love me as much as you did but thats the thing... i will never find someone like you and im happy i wont. you were horrible to me. Again i hate saying that but again i will never want to be with someone like you. So as time goes on i see myself getting better and enjoying life a whole lot more. After i traveled to the UK i did not think of you at all. I didnt even think “Oh itll be nice if she was here”. No thoughts like that. As my days go by youre slowly becoming something that made me once happy but unhappy and im beginning to just love me. Thank you for being in my life for several seasons because if it wasnt for you i wouldnt know exactly what i didnt want and that would be you. Someone like you only brings misery, hate, anger, triggers and lastly sadness. For 3 years i have felt nothing but all those. Although some people would consider all that as a wasted 3 years, i consider it as a life lesson to never give my heart away to a girl who still had a broken one. To a girl that only kept me around to fill in the gaps until she got bored. Meanwhile i was picking up the pieces that you kept breaking until they were completely shattered, i had to stop trying because it was nothing but glass dust. The pieces weren’t even big enough to put together and it wasnt even my fault. I thought it would be hard, i mean ill admit it was so hard but then i realized that im okay. That this is a normal thing and im going to go through this kind of thing for the rest of my life. Whether if the relationship was bad or good. Anyways... Me being proud of myself though... its pretty obvious... the things ive gone through and the strength I had to show for not only everyone but for myself just shows. No one can take that away from me and honestly i am so excited to find my person because i know im coming from a place of love.. not having someone fill voids that i can only fill. Remember Taylor... Theres a difference with being actually happy and finding things to distract yourself... You are the queen of distracting yourself and eventually having it biting you in the ass in the long run. Thats okay though because it is no longer my problem. There are people who are not like you and i am so happy that the last 3 years did not make me have my perspective change. 

Until then. 

[jamesvanriemsdyk]

it's loving my friends hours, folks

hi so. i hit 1.5k a bit ago and while i dont want to do a follow forever (did one for 1k, it took so fucking long), i do want to like. talk about my friends! because i love them. so here we go, time for emo hours here at james jamesvanriemsdyk dot tumblr dot com

to all of the people ive met and talked to in the past few months: i am so grateful to have met you. i am so grateful to be your friend, whether we talk every day or not, and it is such a huge fucking gift to know you and be known by you. i would give you all a little paragraph but then i would get out of control and this post would never end because i have a lot of fucking love in my heart okay??? i love yall a whole hell of a lot ( @goaliehugs​ @farfrombucky​ @andrewcogliano​ @couturriere​ @brockmcgrinn​ @boesersson​ @steadyfreddie​ @nicolasaube-kubel​ @alexvass​ @beauvilliers​ @girouxes​ )

to all the mutuals i see in my notifications a lot (and the ones i dont), the new followers and the old ones, all my super sweet anons, anyone who’s tagged a post with a lovely comment or who’s messaged me with sweet words: thank you. for just like - existing in the same timeline as me, and being wonderful, and choosing to be kind even though im a clown. i love you all a lot.

to @heckeyleague​ @iceburgh87​ and @assistantcaptainmitchmarner​ : im so grateful we still talk, if only every once in a while, and if only through streak snaps. it’s been, what, how many years? four? more? i look forward to snaps of your pets and the little glimpses of your lives i get every day. i love yall to pieces.

and here we go:

@fireworksatdawn​ : hi jayc. its, like, really hard to believe that ur essay comments on my fics led to this but - im really grateful. just, really fucking grateful. youre so kind and so loving and such a wonderful presence in my life and im so grateful that once c*vid has died down, we’ll, like. be able to see each other? fucking wild. thank you for all the fic convos and the tswift tiktoks, and the memes when im sad. i love you a ton, and im so, so glad you’re my friend. shoutout to philly as, like, a concept for giving me all the emotions i needed to write my heartbeat fics. (im still emotional about the fact that you tell me ‘its late for you, go to bed’ every time i stay up past 10pm. its the being known for me <3)

@pencilhoarders​ : my favorite flyers art witch. what an incredibly kind, talented soul you are. what a beautiful heart you have, really and truly. i love listening to you talk about your ideas and seeing your art process, and i love that your mind works like mine does, and that we really do understand each other. i love that you’re going after your dream and i know you’ll be incredible at whatever you decide to do post-grad - you’re simply too amazing not to be. thank you for sending me those anons about the canes what feels like forever ago; i am so fucking glad i get to call you my friend.

@majorpenalty​ : you are, without a doubt, one of my most favorite people ive ever met on this site. your life is fucking wild and you are so funny and kind and resilient, and i never want to not be your friend. i love losing my mind with you for five to eight hours on zoom, i love just being able to just exist with you even though we have half a country between us. you are so intelligent and strong and lovely, and you deserve every single good thing in the entire world. thank you also for sending me those wild ass anons, and for sending me all the videos of you singing trap bunny bubbles and tswift on snap (we have the yellow heart now uwu) and for just - being there and understanding. you are so brilliant and i cant fucking wait to watch you continue to grow and succeed. i love u so fuckin much.

@softgrantaire​ : hi, alex! kiss the cats and your baby for me and tell your husband i said hey. also, sorry in advance for how long and sappy this is about to be, because im already choked up thinking about it! so: i would not be the person i am today without you. its been a literal month since we became friends, but i literally have never felt more immediately loved or accepted by anyone in my life. you are, probably, the reason i felt comfortable enough to change my name in public; youre the first person i told i was deeply uncomfortable with my name and you changed it immediately, without fucking blinking, and i knew trans friends hit different, but i didnt realize how different it would hit til i met you. and its not just that, either, its the kindness and the trust and the mutual respect, and the pics and vids of jules and the cats all day, its being genuinely excited to see your name pop up on my phone screen, its the voice messages on my way home from work and its the sound of you laugh and the comfort that exists in the little space we’ve carved out for ourselves. i love being your friend, and i love that you’re my friend, and i want us to be that for a long, long time -  ill always be the nolpat to your g. i love you so fucking much, dude.

@codyglass​ : ngl, i typed your url and just like - froze, for a minute. because like. how do you talk about a friendship like this? how do you put it into words? how do you describe all of the laughter and the tears and the years we’ve had together? its the kindness for me, its the communication and comprehension for me, its the unconditional love for me. there isnt a place i feel safer than our friendship; there isnt a person on earth i love like i love you. thanks for all the late nights, all the massive fic concepts/outlines we’ll never write but always find solace in, for all the nolpats roasts, for all the hockey tears and all the real life tears too. for listening to folklore with me for the first time when it dropped, for understanding when i couldnt turn it off for weeks after, for getting the days i send you 30 messages in a row and the days i cant get out of bed. it’s so fucking insane that we’re friends, still - how fucking incredible is it that i met my best friend, who lives 1846 miles away from me, through fucking hockey of all things? youre the best gift life ever gave me, and its such a fucking blessing to be alive at the same time as you, much less to be your best friend. i love you to the moon and to saturn.

[addictiveramos]

this is just a random fun fact about me.

i grew up with football and ballet. you can guess which one of these two sports affected me more. i didn't get much support for being who i wanted to be.

i wanted to play football all day but i was a girl and school was always more important. my grades were more important. my mom never believed i could make something out of football so it was a risk she wasn't ready to take. so, when i started school, she made me stop playing the game that was making me so happy. i started when i was only four and stopped in the winter when i was turning seven.

as i got older, i got more responsible. my dad somehow talked my mom into letting me attend football practices again. i was in 5th grade then and my biggest idols were iker casillas and luka modrić. my coach would sometimes tell my dad that i was dancing with the ball. i was literally playing games out there on the field. once he put me to play with the boys, since their team was stronger, and i did as good as they did, even better than some of them. i loved being a centre back/centre midfielder, my idols here were mostly sergio ramos, dejan lovren, ivan rakitić and luka modrić. (i am obviously a real madrid fan from croatia)

iker casillas is somehow the love of my life. i did try being a goal keeper a few times (never worked out). but he was my inspiration since i was five or six, it's hard to explain why. everything about him made me believe i can do it even when everyone else was telling me i couldn't. my coach was sure i could make a great footballer one day if i keep fighting my way to the top. he made me believe i had everything that's needed to become someone like alex morgan. except he always used to tell me not to try to become like someone but to try to become the best version of myself. a person other kids will want to become like.

now im in highschool, 10th grade. i dont play football anymore because my parents dont let me play it. they think its distracting me. ever since they took it away from me im struggling with anxiety and ive developed some kind of depression.

but something i always look back to is my coach saying that im dancing with the ball. dance is art. and with enough effort, you can turn football into art. thats why i love it so much. you can spend 87 minutes running around but in the end, the minutes that matter the most are those last three minutes. football had shown us how every second matters, how the smallest ones can be the biggest ones, it showed us that enemies can be friends for 90 minutes, it made us cry both sad and happy tears, it made us look up to someone. it had shown us how the smallest mistake can result in a defeat and how the smallest bit of luck can turn the tables within seconds.

when my coach once told me: "youre somehow not even playing football, youre living it" i didnt understand. i understood it only when it was taken away from me. a year after he told me that little thing i will remember for life, hans zimmer's "living football" wrapped the world cup 2018 in its hands, lead croatia to the finals and made me one of the happiest people alive. its kinda creepy how he pieces had been put together, i mean the 'living football' thing. during halftimes i'd go out, even when it was raining and when we were losing against france in the finals, and i would just dance ballet with the football. i would dance with the ball.

hopefully, one day i will again. on the field with 10 other girls or boys. something so little could make me so happy. even if it was the one last real dance.

[ganondoodle]

I recently just found your art (im loving and drowning in all of it)

Wanted to ask have you ever thought about the seal in which demise was kept in durring SS. I been replaying it and kind of thinking about, well, if Hylia created the seal, she made that sealscape/spiritprison(?) a very peaceful environment. Calming clear skys reflected in still waters. This only changes once the battle w Demise starts (makes me think the space is just very reflective/responsive of prisoners mind/emotions)

Anyhow! If Hylia was the one to make the seal what do you think she had in mind, how she was feeling ? W ur ship art of them in mind, I kinda get mercy vibes despite what she'd eventually have to do to him, but not wanting to put him through anymore pain? A sad goodbye moment. A sort of final resting place, maybe this space was an origin point of their first encounter w one another and its a recreationof it? Id love to see your ideas/character feels interpretations. Also sorry if this was asked or talked about previously im v new here ;v;

that is a very interesting thought, and not far actually from my plan for “destiny”, im really glad people seem to enjoy my art, even when its shippy or not fanart at all :D tho i am not sure how to answer this since, well, its a bit difficult, even knowing how everything in the story will go, i cant decide really. is it an intentionally “nice” place for a prison ? is in reality much more of a torture having to be there all alone ? was he even conscious in it ? was his very being scattered into a thousand pieces within it ? was he even able to feel any pain ? or was he in constant pain trying to recollect himself ? how does one know what happens to someone that gets sealed ? it always seems like whenever someone is sealed, they come back more ful of anger and hatred ? in what kind of hell does one get send when they get sealed away ? it might seem silly thinking so much about a game and its lore but i cant help it, i always wonder what must have happened to make the villains a villain ? people arent born evil ... and i just cant accept the answer of someone just “being” evil without an explanation ?? well im writing a story about that. in some part at least, i know its taking me a long time but this fancomic has taken me a lot of thought and work already even if you haven seen much of it yet, i will both explore the relationship between hylia demise and others, but a big part will be demises origin, i really hope you guys are going to like it sinceim very invested into everything SO i am not sure how much you know so ill talk a bit about the end of “destiny”, so SPOILERS FOR DESTINY AHEAD: i had made a post about demises origin/backstory a while back, crudely summarized bc i just typed it out to remember it properly, im not sure if you have seen it but it shouldnt be too far back somewhere on my blog if you want to take a look, tho things will still change, its base will stay the same, im leaving out pretty the whole story, so maybe, i hope, you will still be interested in reading it once i get it all drawn out, or maybe not, im not the one to decide that .. ANYWAY at the end of it, hylia will be ordered one last time to finally do her duty and seal demise away, she will try to talk to her gods that there is another way to solve everything, but they will not listen. hylia then refuses to do as she was ordered, even tho demise had warned her not to do that and that she instead should just go and kill him; if hes dead he at least wont have to get to know whatever happens to someone that gets sealed, hed much prefer never finding out; but she is too determined to give up the thought of another possibillity and thus the gods have to take things into their own hands and take control over her, forcing her to watch as her body acts on their will and not hers anymore. there will be a brief moment where demise gets to free her of them, since in that last fight hes much less fighting for his own survival, which he knows is impossible, but for hylia not to die from being in the gods control for too long. besides, he very much wants to fight the gods themselves, but he wants to do that with only him involved and them, and not someone else; thus he regains his previous, pure form from back when he was just like her, only for a short moment tho and in the end he will be sealed away by the gods acting through hylia. while she dies after the deed is done, hes sealed away yes, but although shattered, not quite dead yet, and his hatred towards the gods will burn much stronger now than it ever had before, not just because of what they did to him and his world but to her now as well.

WELL THEN that was alot and probably not even a glimpse as interesting as i hope it will be in the finished comic, with all the context in all regards.  i apologize for the length of this, and this possibly unwated and uninteresting spoiler part about this damn story that i cant get out of my head anymore. (also for .. the typos .. im writing this at 1am and it took me like an hour bc i just didnt know how to write it out) sorry, i just care alot about this.... too much probablyヾ(*′○`)ﾟ.+:｡ﾟ☆