“heaven’s blessings.” {king baldwin iv x reader}
A/N: ahaha so yk how i said i'm gonna watch kingdom of heaven?? (it isn't available on bflix or any other website/app i checked 😭 someone pls help) i haven't yet 😅 (ALL HISTORIC AND KOH CRITICS PLS DONT COME FOR ME I DONT MEAN ANY HARM) so there's probably gonna be a lot of stuff wrong with this, and um. yk how i also said i was working on a koh fic?? yh this is not that one. for some reason i couldn't go any further than a couple of paragraphs, so here i am. with this absolutely shitty fic that looks even more horrible as I reread but. hope you enjoy?? 😭😭
warnings: hanahaki, some descriptions of hanahaki (?? it isn't that graphic or anything tho), also feel like i used 'bcos' too much, angst with no happy ending 😭 I promise the other one is happy!! 😭😭
word count: 322
thinking of king baldwin iv w hanahaki.
don’t you think that he would be the type that, as a man of strong faith, to think that this, too, is a blessing from god?
as a man of already frail health, this new illness is bound to take an even more horrible toll on his battered broken body;
taking root under his disfigured skin. fronds twining through his veins, greenery curling round his ribcage, twisting in his airways, stealing his very breath. blooming quietly in the darkness, petals like cremation ashes falling past his bruised lips like a prayer, some holy thing that can’t be attained.
because that’s what you are.
unattainable.
because knowing you - you with your tender smiles and your healing hands and your kind heart - you might probably still accept him, even with all of his ugliness, his ruined skin and broken bones, even with this blessing that’s really only a curse. but he can’t allow that. he can’t possibly be that selfish.
not to you, never.
it’s why he flinches away from your touch (no matter how much he yearns for it), soft and feather-light as it is, why he forces himself to look away from your wide eyes, your expression that’s hurt but you smile through it anyway because you wear your heart on your sleeve and you’re so gentle and kind and loving-
and he can’t.
and maybe that’s what his love for you is meant to be, in this lifetime. a love that seeps through skin and blood and bone. a love that lingers like an illness, because he can’t let you.
a blessing.
(and it’s only when the end is near that he gathers the delicate flowers into his arms, holds them close to his chest. this is the closest he can ever let you be.
and as his eyes flutter shut for the last time, he dares to hope-
perhaps, in another life.)
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Silver screen, cathode ray
Brighter than the light of day
Lover, when you see that glare
Think of it as my despair
Think of it as my despair for you...
So uhhhh. Y'all know about Hadestown? 👉👈💖💖💖💖 It's not one-to-one but I do think Hades and Persephone have some parallels with my self ship, one thing led to another and here we are >w< (Also go check out my partner's @rexscanonwife art for her selfship with Utonium as Orpheus and Eurydices, it SLAPS 💖💖💖💖)
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