#i dont even remember WHERE my idea to do this came from but i am so so happy that i did it 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Silver screen, cathode ray Brighter than the light of day Lover, when you see that glare Think of it as my despair Think of it as my despair for you...

So uhhhh. Y'all know about Hadestown? 👉👈💖💖💖💖 It's not one-to-one but I do think Hades and Persephone have some parallels with my self ship, one thing led to another and here we are >w< (Also go check out my partner's @rexscanonwife art for her selfship with Utonium as Orpheus and Eurydices, it SLAPS 💖💖💖💖)

[💚 Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!! 🥺 Click for higher quality, tag list under the cut! 🩶]

By the way, check out my pinned post to find my Taglist form, to be added or removed!

@absentmoon @ava-ships @bee-ships @beetleboyfriend @berryshipbasket @canongf @flabbergasting @cloudyvoid @derelictdumbass @dissonantyote @edencantstopfallininlove @final-catboy @flowering-darkness @gible-love-nibles @nagirans @hoppinkiss @hotrodharts @hyperionshipping @iwishihadfangs @iyamifucker @judetama @lex-n-weegie @lficanthaveloveiwantpower @little-miss-selfships @little-shiny-sharpies @loogi-selfships @mandrakebrew @mintpecks @mothfinite @mrs-kelly @nameless-self-ships @nerdstreak @orbitingaroundyourlove @paper-carnation @p-i-t-s @qilinkisser @reds-self-ships @rexscanonwife @rotten--cotton @ship-trek @spacestationstorybook @squips-ship @toogayforthistoday @winterworlds

[coriphallus]

DA: The Veilguard Spoiler Review pt3 - Politiks

oh my little void in this world wide web, we are really in it now.

a little PSA before you read this word vomit, i am from westernmost middle east, and that will inform much of what i know about the topics i discuss. i wont know about race politics of america or the intricacies of it beyond what i can see online but as an immigrant i do have some perspective on western experience. so when i talk about heavy topics it will come from a foreign place. i do understand and admit that i cannot ignore that BW is a north american studio and that colours every theme they touch.

so there are two angles to approach this, 1st is to assess DAV on its own and 2nd is to assess it as a part of a whole and continuation of a franchise.

lets get 1st out of the way, its safely uncontroversial beyond taash's story. and eff-plays voiced my feeling verbatim on that subject more succinctly than anything i can possibly write.

2nd is very, very grim.

every DA game that came before had been interlaced with politics of its world so severely that its absence is disorienting. every game you were given the choice to change the political landscape of the countries youre playing in, for better or for worse. even the 2nd game with its vastly smaller scale sees hawke trying to navigate through their life as an immigrant, even at the games climax you are given a choice to drastically alter how this uprising will be remembered and it tells hawke that there are no half measures, they need to pick a side.

"Slavery or no, flesh is always for sale."

in my very first DAV playthrough i picked a shadow dragon elf, i didnt give her any backstory as i though being an elf in minrathous would shape her world view regardless.

first scene i got when organising my room rook pulls out the SHACKLES of a slave shes freed as she reminisces about how much good shes done, and puts them on her bedside. then proceeds to talk to a book and say "everybody looks down on elves but we were here first >:c"

(at this point i rerolled my character so i dont yet know how shadow dragon background plays out.)

at the very beginning of the game we see similar shackles and varric informs us that solas hates slavery, hes been freeing them.

when we make it to minrathous we learn that these people in neves circle have been freeing slaves.

alright so, the heavy handed deliveries aside, what purpose do all these scenes/expositions serve?

well, it makes these people look good. we know theres slavery in this part of thedas and these people are fighting against it not by any elaborate means but dont worry kitten <3.

[i had to look up the english for some of these terms so feel free to correct me if im wrong] patterson describes slavery as "one of the most extreme forms of the relation of domination, approaching the limits of total power from the viewpoint of the master, and of total powerlessness from the viewpoint of the slave". death of the soul, death of what makes one human -and for the purposes of this section- death in the eyes of state. slavery has such a long history that predates early modern colonization of africa by thousands of years. it is a staple of human history and where we have come from shapes what we are now. we can shun it, call it abhorrent but we cant pretend it never happened. theres always been people dead in the eyes of state.

heres the uncomfortable truth, there aint never been enough steel in the world to hold every hittite or mittani slave. to assume slavery is people getting abducted and put to irons is as naïve as human trafficking being a rando ruffying you and hauling you across the sea in a crate. yea, it could happen but 99% of the time its just a waste of time to physically hold someone against their will by force. and this idea makes us think its this far off thing that happened thousands of years ago by bad individuals doing very comically bad things, which is a very deliberate choice, because to depict period accurate slavery would be to portray social and economical classes, and that would be confronting how little we've changed in certain aspects.

people were born into that caste, shaped by it, worn down by it, and abused by it systematically.

in DAI Dorian says something -apparently- very controversial that i dont think this fandom has fully unpacked, and i aint gonna do that here either because im not remotely qualified. he likens the working class of south to slavery of north, theres no way to engage with this argument in any meaningful way, even as an elf, and in general people brush it off as dorians pro-slavery rhetorics.

try as DAV might to disregard, we actually did meet an ex-slave and trafficking victims on three separate occasions, and the games have set a premise already. we got to talk about their unique circumstances, and they were handled with some measure of dept. maybe you liked them, maybe you didnt, but you knew them and that makes a difference. they had agency in their own stories. a far cry from DAVs nameless faceless props for righteous gentiles to circle jerk about.

but, sure, lets tell ourselves showing them would be too gratuitous.

can you imagine how batshit insane it would look if zevran kept the belt her husband used to beat isabela with as a trinket, to display in his tent? that scene with rook disturbed me more than most anything in this entire franchise and coming from an anders supporter, thats saying something.

this is how little the writers were willing to engage with their source material. this is how little they are willing to engage with the world around them.

which makes the next blunder inevitable.

alot has been said about the absurdity of elves feeling responsible for the events of DAV, but maybe this hasnt been said enough; this is a blatant fascist rhetoric.

i will spell it out though, even though i never thought it needed to be said, the social performance of accountability indicates that the party who has done harm has benefited and continues to benefit from that harm, this is why reparations are paid, and thats what "check your priviledge" means. elves in DA have never benefited in any way from the warmongering of evanuris, they were enslaved by them.

to say that these people should feel some sort of responsibility towards what befell dwarves is a fascist rhetoric used irl to offload responsibility and divide and alienate the opposition further from eachother.

i cant tell you if this mouth piece is same everywhere but i know a few people who have clocked it immediately so im gonna assume it was obvious. and truthfully, i wouldnt even be annoyed if i thought it was intentional. genuinely, one of my favourite games is an unapologetic military propaganda whos protagonist would make ayn rand write sonnets about, and the game knows what it is. but no, i fully believe the studio tried to address the criticism they got about their lackluster handling of elves and either completely misunderstood or willfully disregarded the experiences of marginalised peoples that the games drew inspiration from.

the writing is so hollow beyond horrible dialogue that when writing an enby character whos also multicultural they didnt even notice the parallel theyve created. i know this because after an entire plotline about their struggle with binaries their story concludes with a binary decision on their culture. this just confirms to me that any dept this game has is completely accidental.

imma level with yall i dont subscribe to the belief that you need to have some type of experiences to write some type of characters and i find that "ofc a white person wrote it so..." response very tired because yea we should be allowed to expect more from white people. i too had OCs of different cultures that i wasnt very familiar with and handled poorly, but unlike me, a company can afford a consultant.

i played greedfall recently, and sure the maori tattoos were a shit decision, and im disappointed that after all the criticism they still stuck with it, and yes maybe its story was not sensitive enough but you know what? as the person whos recommended it to me said, i rather have a story who boldly engages with its own themes than one whos terrified of them. say what you will about its shortcomings but at least at the end of that game you can have an ending where the colonizers leave for good, and yes their plague is not healed but the narrative doesnt punish the natives for their isolationism. i am glad that the game allows that catharsis to its players.

DAV could have had 300 well thought-out endings and still not please everyone, but the endings they chose to include directly implicates the group theyre trying to appease and its literally just people who either want to punch or kiss solas, thats how fucking deep they think their fanbase it. not the people who wanted to end slavery, or achieve equilibrium with beings no matter how alien they are. or people who wanted to see a culture connect with its roots etc etc.

and maybe they were right, many people have been enjoying this game immensely and i am just, so fucking jealous. i wish i liked this game and enjoyed it and didnt want to tear out my hair every second i spent in treviso. i wish i wasnt seething white knuckling my sink like an insane person when a little kid wrote to crow rook that hes recruiting orphans now. i wish i had any belief in this game to read that as satire.

at least i wish i felt any form of vindication when i immediately realised this game was going to be a soulless cashgrab that unashamedly uses the name of a popular IP to push a sub-par product earlier this year, i just spend 80+ hours watching a company parade the carcass of a franchise i loved and beat it like a pinata as it continuously slapped me on the face with a botched wax figure of it.

i just feel this profound sense of sadness. i wish this game didnt exist. and no i dont feel any kind of brand loyalty, even when i actively enjoyed their work i didnt but i definitely dont now, not after 3 consecutive games that theyve delivered with more or less the same problems. as the company is today, i dont care whether bw survives or not, its been made clear time and again that the bw i liked is long gone and bw today is clearly not interested in making games for me.

even as i write this i dont feel fuelled by my anger for DAV but by the love a have for what came before. i still think the story deserved better, the fans deserved better, the people who contributed into making DA universe what it was before DAV deserved better. and, as rook told harding, our anger is justified.

but, hey. hair looks really good.

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm slowly becoming obsessed with the childhood friends au and it's mostly bc of something you said in the tags of an ask lol. you mentioned that they weren't soulmates they were something better. that they were two balls of yarn they batted around until they were intertwined, that they chose and continue to choose to be as close as two souls can be.

it's so poetic, the idea that fate has nothing to do with it. they looked at each other and said this is it, that's the one. It makes me think of so many different quotes but here's just a few. Hozier "lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body I'll crawl home to her (him)" or like patroclus saying that if Achilles were to die that "all things soft and beautiful would be buried with him" and poor Danny grieving so long and so hard because "what is grief if not love perserving?" when you're in love with someone, that person is the lighthouse of your universe and to lose them is to be thrown to a tempestuous sea.

and thinking of their reunion makes me feel a little crazy too cause I see what you've been plotting and it just makes me think of how their relationship is going to be at first. like here's a person that you love so deeply and it's been so long since you've seen them and you've both changed since. will they click back together seemingly effortlessly? attached at the hip for a bit because they're both/or one is scared of being separated again? or will there be some friction for a while while they try to realign their pieces to fit together, to figure out what's different and what's practically the same? "you are a language I am no longer fluent in but still remember how to read"

sorry for rambling, I love them your honor.

🫵 DONT YOU DARE APOLOGIZE FOR RAMBLING I LOVE GETTING RAMBLING ASKS. AND SAME.

There was this one sound on tiktok that I heard that reminded me of them, and I just went and found it, and it goes: "I would recognize you in another lifetime entirely in different bodies, different times, and i would love you in all of this. Until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion." and the first time i heard it i literally thought "this is CFAU Danny and Jason"

AND YEAH THEY JUST. I love devoted characters, i love when characters are so deeply devoted and loyal to each other its like you can't imagine them being anywhere else but at each other's side. That wasn't wholly my intent when I first came up with CFAU last fall, but god I am not complaining about how it turned out. My favorite part of the chapter 1 rewrite is making sure Danny's devotion to Jason was reciprocal.

god those quotes. they're so accurate too. yeah. i thought about this au once in the context of a soulmate au, and just couldn't get behind it. It made their whole dynamic felt cheapened, like of course they're soulmates; it was destined. When no, it wasn't. They made it that way.

(If the two of them were somehow transported to a universe with soulmate marks, they would not have matching symbols. That's okay, Danny and Jason don't need them to be. They'd pick up a tattoo gun or a pen and make their own. They wouldn't call it a soulmate mark, just a them mark.)

("Why should I share my soul with some schmuck I don't know? I want to share my soul with you.")

yeah. their reunion is. ! about as exactly as intense as it needs to be :]. They've both changed so much, and they're both scared of being separated again. Jason purposely stayed away from Amity because he knew he couldn't keep away if he didn't. Being back together again is like having a piece of them returned.

SPEAKING OF QUOTES. Here's one:

I don't believe in the death that you're bringing The reason I'm living is you Wherever you go That's where I'll be Even if death tags along, I don't mind It's still you and me I'll never leave you alone

"Death's At My Door" - The Outsiders Musical

[sixosix]

END NOTE | THAWED

a little love letter to my readers

to start off, i know that the series is based off the entire reputation album, but i like to think that this whole series was written around call it what you want.

how it started LMFAOOO

This was previously titled ‘melt’ before i was like ‘nah ill make it, like, thaw” and earthtooz went, “Thawed?” little did earth know,, that name would literally take over my docs,,, my tags,,, my ENTIRE account

A message to my readers: From the bottomest bottom of my heart, if you have reached this series until the very end, thank you so, so much for reading. Read that sentence again. And again, until you realize how grateful I truly am as a writer. Thawed is such a big project that I still can’t believe I was able to even start. I genuinely never thought it would garner this much attention, and in all honestly, I was intimidated by it, because I had no idea what I was doing, and I was afraid I would disappoint.

This entire project was intimidating, and I considered so many times to just drop it and end it on chapter five. I struggled so badly to write after I introduced the characters, and I thought: “well, that’s it. I guess it was fun.” I even told my friends that I would do that; and yet 14 chapters later, look at where we are now 😭

Writing it was so exhausting. Working on a series while studying as a student really makes it difficult to remember details about my own story T__T I had to reread Thawed so many times to the point where I don’t even like it anymore.

But I know the reason why I decided to continue it! It sounds so horribly cliche, but it’s true. It’s thanks to all your overwhelming support :( Each ask, comment, reblog—they all fueled me more than you think. All those replies of even incoherent gibberish made me realize that, ‘hey, someone read it and liked it enough to send an ask about it. Maybe I am doing something right!!!!’

some thawed extras for readers who are interested

If you haven’t noticed, the chapter titles aren’t actually accurately about the chapter. Those titles were taken from the songs in the Reputation album, in order. And the chapters are loosely based around them!

reputation is, like, widely known as the edgy album from taylor, but in reality its such a big love letter and i know that other people noticed that, too! i think it’s very fitting to the story of thawed: it’s dark and messy, but at the end of the day, it’s a love story. do you get what i mean hehe. i hope that’s how the series came across…

im sorry if aether doesnt appear in the last chapter :( in my head, mc is coming home. and by then i dont think aether would be in fontaine at all! but rest assured they definitely have met up twice or thrice while in the other regions heehee. Also aether will ofc be there for their weeding. 🙏

i have nothing much else to say aside from thank you for reading! i hope u enjoyed thawed as much as i did

[sugar-omi]

good lord I was trying to study but out of nowhere I know where🩸this came into my mind:

having a night in at ur grown up house w cove derek and baxter (only dating cove) and everyone gets wasted asf so they sleep over and late at night the other two can hear u and cove in ur bedroom 👀 ykwim?

the smut and angst potential of them getting off to listening to u two from their respective guest rooms and the irony of both ur guests doing it omggggggg 🫣

in the morning neither of them can properly look at u two out of shame and u and cove r just embarrassed cause u think it’s just cause they heard u (and ofc ur only half right)

these ideas fr come to me at the worst time lol

-🗑️

I AM SCREAMING. YOU'RE SO BRILLIANT I CAN'T.... derek would really try not to, but i feel like it'd end up seeping into his dreams and he just can't resist. and baxterrrr omg... he'd be so embarrassed n ashamed, i dont think he'd be able to sleep the rest of the night at all, even once you n cove are done... pls you sent this at the perfect time bc i was about to start writing n i cannot focus until i write this now, i must have this in a fic.. n ik it isn't what you're talking about, but this is also so good n i instantly thought abt this scenario. i will take ANY chance for derek n baxter to fall in love or into bed LOL

tags : NSFW, baxter x derek, one night stand (UNLESS), you and cove drink, auralism*, oral (derek receiving), top/dom baxter, bottom derek, derek has a crush on you/MC, baxter has a thing for both of you or maybe he's just a kinky bastard

*to be aroused by sound. (can be compared with voyeurism)

synopsis : baxter and derek are staying with you for an extended vacation (much needed for both of them.) and while you two have been considerate and lovely hosts, you're a bit loud... not that it's a problem. quite the opposite actually..

imagine baxter is pouring himself a glass of wine, unable to get your and cove's muffled moans out of his head.

he's generous with his pouring, since everyone already had a lot to drink during dinner, being reserved is unnecessary.

baxter tips back his cup, licking his lips, savoring the sweet taste of this wine, humming at the taste. not bad..

he's checking the label, wanting to remember the brand so he can add it to his shelves at home.

"oh."

baxter looks up, tired eyes wide at the sudden guest. he's met with derek's wide eyes, equally tired..

baxter gives a lopsided smile, trying to be friendly with his new friend. he gestures to the barstools across from him, "care to join me?"

derek rubs his neck shyly, "ah, i wouldn't want to impose. i just came for some water.."

baxter shakes his head, leaning back on the island, taking a sip of his wine. if he knew he'd have company, he wouldn't have poured so much at once.

he licks his lips, trying not to eye his glass to see if it looks like an reasonable amount of wine. trying to preserve his put together image is fruitless anyway, baxter is a hot mess walking and you could probably smell his issues all the way from france.

"nonsense, i wouldn't mind company. the best conversations are best shared under the stars, i'd say. although, i won't blame if you're going bak to bed." baxter laughs to himself humorlessly. "probably a better idea than getting drunk again."

derek laughs, "well, if you don't mind the company then.." and goes about grabbing some water before sitting across from baxter, trying to be quiet when he drags out the barstool.

there's a stretch of silence between them, the two of them sipping their drinks and baxter plays off his awkwardness by admiring the photo collage in the hallway, visible through the wide doorway.

baxter turns back to derek, who's holding his water with both hands, dozily looking into the glass. he looks up and is surprised to meet baxter's sharp gaze, but plays it off with a smile.

baxter speaks lazily, his movements languished and his bones heavy. he's feeling warm from the wine, and a bit chatty. "couldn't sleep either, huh?"

derek laughs, "that obvious?"

baxter shrugs, speaking around the lip of his wineglass. "i figured we're in the same boat."

derek stills, his cheeks slowly filling red, and he looks up, trying to figure out if he's trying to say he also heard you and cove doing... it. the other night.

baxter bounces his eyebrows, and that makes derek flush brightly, looking down. "y-yeah, i guess we are.."

he laughs, covering his mouth to muffle the noise.

derek seems to relax a bit at his amusement, and eventually they relax a bit more, and baxter goes on to tell derek more of his wedding horror stories when he asks.

they're laughing, trying to muffle the sound with their hands when they get too loud, and baxter is leaned over the counter, rambling to derek as softly as possible.

baxter signs and shakes his head, a smile still on his lips as he takes another sip. he's definitely getting buzzed again.

and at some point baxter even sits next to him and derek seems to greatly enjoy baxter's open laughter and his wide gestures as he narrates his stories, even throwing up his own chaotic stories about what it was like growing up with his brothers.

"hey.." derek calls, and baxter hums curiously in response. "does that taste good?"

baxter raises his brow but tips his glass towards derek. "it is. it has notes of peach and honey... wanna try?"

derek glances between baxter's eyes and the wine, nodding, taking the glass from his hands and taking a long sip...

baxter's eyes are stuck on derek's lips, his eyes following how his throat bobs when he swallows and his tongue dashes out to lick the wine running down the corner of his lips..

baxter snaps his eyes back towards derek's, who's already looking back at him.

the silence seems long, and the distance between derek and baxter's lips seems even longer, and he feels antsy even though they're both leaning in, their lips meeting in the middle in a soft kiss.

derek deepens the kiss, leaning into baxter, and humming into the kiss when baxter starts rubbing his thigh, his fingers sliding down th fabric of his sweatpants until he's touching his inner thigh, dangerously close to his bulge..

a moan echoes, and baxter and derek break apart, panting and their lips wet and swollen. then they hear it again, and some muffled talking.

they look into each others eyes, unable to move. they're both wide awake now, both because of that hot kiss and the sounds of cove's deep, and futile muffled moans.

their chests rise and fall, tension in the air, mingling with something else...

derek speaks first, taking baxter's hand before he can pull away. "do you... should we go to your room?"

baxter blinks owlishly, shocked and flustered. but really fucking turned on.

"yes, yeah, yeah okay.." he stumbles his words, totally knocked off his feet by the way derek looks at him, his green eyes deep with lust, and the whole turn of events.

derek leads him down the hall, and baxter is grateful he didn't somehow knock over the barstool or the flower vase in the hall.

they walk past your shared bedroom, baxter's designated room for his stay, at the end of the hall.

baxter tries to ignore the way his cock throb when he hears cove curse and growl, "fuck, you're so warm..." he tries not to think about it, but the idea of what you two are getting up to, how you both look and sound, what you're doing to each other...

he's trying not to let his mind run away with him but he's admittedly, a weak man. and so is derek, if the way he clutches his hand tighter and all but shoves baxter through the door and closes the door a bit louder than he should.

you and cove always drown out all other forms of life when you're together, and baxter doubts it's much different in the bedroom, if not "worse."

derek pushes baxter to sit on the bed, standing over him, his legs on either side of baxter's lap and he pulls off his shirt, throwing it on the floor.

baxter licks his lips, his hands sliding up derek's waist and stomach, his body thick and toned with muscles... "goddamn..." baxter exhales, all but drooling at the sight.

derek laughs shyly, lifting his arm to rub his neck (a nervous tick baxter has come to realize) and the muscles in his arm stretches and flex. baxter has a distant thought about derek being able to manhandle him...

"is this okay?" derek asks, suddenly shy now.

baxter nods, leaning in to kiss along derek's bronze stomach, his lips trailing down his happy trail to his bulge. "more than okay.."

baxter tugs on derek's sweatpants, looking up at him. "let me know if you want to stop..."

he tugs down derek's pants and underwear, letting his cock spring free. baxter strokes his cock to full mast, and derek holds onto baxter's hand for support, his other hand coming up to muffle his moan.

baxter wraps his lips around derek's flushed tip, sucking and circling his tongue over the head.

"b-baxter..." derek gasps, his thighs shaking.

baxter takes him deeper down his throat, keeping eye contact as he swallows around his cock, reaching down to palm his own bulge through his satin pajamas.

he groans, the vibrations sending shivers up derek's spine and derek mumbles, his fingers finding their way to baxter's hair, clinging onto the already messy locks.

baxter tears his hand away from his hard-on, to undo the buttons on his pajama shirt, the buttons slipping through his fingers until his shirt is wide open.

"mhm-!" baxter startles, gripping onto derek's thighs, his hips bucking up into his warm mouth.

derek moans shakily, "oh f- i'm sorry. sorry.." he babbles, pushing back baxter's fringe, his thighs twitching and his muscles clenching under baxter's hands.

baxter hums around derek's length, patting his thigh. his tongue drags along the underside of his cock, baxter's lips pulling off him with a pop, his lips wet and puffy.

baxter's sharp, lustful eyes meeting derek's equally horny gaze. derek's flushed cheeks are a feast for baxter's eyes, he can't wait to have him in bed..

"do you.. wanna go further?" baxter asks, his hand making obscene wet noises from all the pre-cum and spit, as he strokes derek's cock in his fist.

derek nods, his throat bobbing as he tries not to fall to his knees or cry out and alert you and cove to what they're doing in here.. "yes, please.."

baxter pulls away, standing up to tug off the rest of his clothes while derek tugs off his pants, almost tripping when the leg gets stuck on his ankle but baxter ignores it since he's not very elegant either, the wine still buzzing through him.

he throws his clothes on the floor, all but throwing himself into the bed with derek, straddling his lap as he captures his lips in a kiss, his tongue slipping past derek's lips, guiding his tongue to move with his own.

derek grips baxter's waist, his hands pulling him down to grind him into his lap, their cocks sliding together.

baxter breaks the kiss, his lips falling to derek's neck...

"cove- cove- cove!" your cry is heard through the wall, followed by muffled moans and whimpers.

"ah!" derek moans, his fingrs digging into the plush of baxter's hips when he bites down on his neck.

"oh- sorry. did i hurt you?" he worries, kissing the area soothingly. he didn't expect you to.. cry out so loudly. not that you aren't allowed to be loud in your own home, or anything like that. he just didn't think you'd sound so hot.

he's trying not to think about if he wishes it was his name on your lips, or what cove is doing to make you call his name so loudly and lewdly...

derek shakes his head, or tries too with baxter under his chin. "i mean, it hurt but.. it wasn't bad..." derek admits shyly.

baxter smiles, pulling off his neck to kiss his lips again, smiling too much to kiss properly but they have all night for that anyway...

he leans over the edge of the bed for his bag, fumbling through the open inner pocket for a condom and lube.

it's not that baxter planned to get laid on this trip, it's just bad to be unprepared.

"do you want to be on top?" baxter inquires, pointing the condom at derek.

he flushes, licking his lips and glancing off to the side. "um.. if you don't mind, you can be on top..."

baxter raises his brows, a blush high on his cheeks.

ohh derek really is interesting.

"not at all." baxter purrs, fixing their position so one of derek's legs is on his shoulder, and the other over his thigh.

he slowly sinks one, then two, then three digits into derek's hole, scissoring his fingers and rubbing derek's thigh soothingly. he's such a mess just from his fingers alone, derek's face half buried in the pillow and his hips bucking up and his thighs shaking.

"that's-" derek pants, swallowing thickly. "that's enough... put it in.. please..." he gasps, peeking at baxter through his lashes.

"fuck..." baxter curses, his stomach dipping with lust.

he fumbles, trying to open the condom but his fingers are covered in lube and he ends up ripping it with his teeth impatiently. baxter rolls it over his length, leaning over to pull derek into a kiss as he sinks into him.

"hmmn!" derek mewls into the kiss, his arms coming to lock around baxter's neck.

baxter slams his hips into derek, a loud slap sounding through the room from baxter's hips meeting his ass. baxter breaks the kiss, hissing.

that was definitely too loud, but it's also been so long since he's been with someone, and derek is so charming, that he's not sure he cares..

derek moans, trying to stifle it by biting his lips.

they pant, letting derek adjust to his length and for them to catch their breath, baxter feels like the air has been knocked out of him with how derek's hot walls are wrapped around him, his hole clenching and flutter around him, trying to take him deeper.

"mn, y/n-" cove voice is muffled, keeping them from hearing the rest of his sentence. although it was probably cut short, if the deep groan they hear through the wall is anything to go by.

baxter pants, "i'm.. i'mma start moving..." he gasps, moving so he's sitting up again, his hand pushing derek's knee up towards his chest.

derek covers his mouth with his hand, baxter's cock dragging so slowly against his walls, his eyes rolling and fluttering shut when his tip bumps against a sensitive spot in his walls, dangerously close to his prostate..

"harder!- ha- oh fuck!" you curse and moan unabashedly loud, followed by your bed frame thumping against the wall.

it quiets down to some creaking, with dull thumps every now and then.

baxter picks up the pace of his thrusts, spurred on by all your sounds from the other room and derek's lewd expressions.

derek whimpers, his moans and cries barely muffled by his hand and when baxter's hips slam into his repeatedly, he can't hold onto his barrage of moans and whines, babbling nonsense.

baxter leans over him, forcing his legs against his chest so he can whisper in derek's ear, stuffing his fingers down derek's throat, his middle and ring fingers pressing on his tongue.

"shh, darling. they'll hear us..." baxter purrs, although he laughs and nods his head to the side, "although, i think being quiet is a bit useless for all of us at this point."

derek whimpers around baxter's fingers, drool pooling in his mouth. he closes his lips around the digits and sucks, swallowing, dragging his tongue along baxter's fingers seductively..

"god." baxter grunts, his face scrunching up in pleasure.

his hips thrust up into derek's g-spot, his thrusts shallow as they both get closer and closer to finishing.

baxter pulls his fingers from derek's lips, a string of spit connecting derek's lips to the digits before it breaks, his hand slipping between their bodies to stroke derek's weeping cock, pre-cum pooling along the valley of his abs...

baxter captures derek in a sloppy kiss, neither of them really trying to hold back their sounds anymore. and from the sounds of it, you and cove aren't worried about being quiet either, your moans more frequent and totally unrestrained.

"i'm gonna-" derek pants, his nails dragging down baxter's shoulder.

"go ahead. cum. cum for me." baxter growls, his hand abusing derek's sensitive tip, making short strokes.

derek's legs shake on either side of him, his eyes rolling as he cums into baxter's hand. baxter groans, his hips stuttering as derek clenched around him, filling the condom.

they melt into each other, their chests rising and falling, and their heavy breathing match.

baxter turns his head to the side, seeing the sky turn from night to early morning..

"i'll.." he pants, pushing himself off derek's chest. "i'll run a bath... wanna join me?"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I (27m) the asshole for wanting my boyfriend (28m) to be attracted to me?

This involves sex as a topic but won't get explicit, I'll keep it vague. I'm asexual. Completely sex repulsed in a physical sense, mostly due to autistic sensory issues. I've never had any interest in sex and didn't have any libido at all before going on testosterone, so the way most allosexuals tend to view and think of sex is something I've always struggled to understand.

In previous relationships, my asexuality was handled in different ways depending on the person. One boyfriend was totally fine just not having a sexual aspect to our relationship, another one had a hookup he got my approval on. The compromise me and my last boyfriend came up with was that he'd text me his fantasies about me and that did a lot for him without me having to physically be in the situation, and even if I didn't get anything sexual out of it I did enjoy it. It was a confidence boost. I dont generally consider myself attractive or desirable, i wear sweaters in summer because im so self conscious, and this compromise actually did a lot to help me see myself in a different light.

I recently got into a new relationship and, as with every relationship I've been in, there's inevitably a discussion about how we're going to compromise on this issue. My new boyfriend didn't know anything about asexuality and barely understood when I explained but he's very insistent about not crossing my boundaries, which I appreciate. But the problem is, since he'd never considered sexuality from a less direct angle, he didn't really know where to even start with ideas when we were trying to work out a compromise. So, I started making suggestions, thinking back to what worked for other people I'd dated. Just abstaining wasn't going to be doable for him so I didn't suggest it, and he wouldn't be comfortable with a hookup.

I remembered my ex used to be able to get something out of telling me about his fantasies so I asked if that was something he'd be into. I wasn't angling to try to get him to agree to something, I genuinely just wanted to know whether or not that was an option to consider. He didn't actually answer at first, he went quiet and then he answered the question with another question and asked "wouldn't something like that make you uncomfortable?" And I said "no, because the physical component is the thing I have issues with, not the subject matter itself. So long as I don't have to directly engage in the situation, I'm golden."

I don't know if this is something that was really stupid of me to say and my autistic ass just didn't realize, but since he's so careful about my boundaries and comfort and tends to fret, I thought his problem in the moment was worry that I'd be making myself uncomfortable in an attempt to meet his needs. So I hurried to reassure him and said not only would it not make me uncomfortable, I'd enjoy it in a way. Not sexually, but I enjoy knowing that my partner is attracted to me. It makes me feel good about myself.

He got really upset. He doesn’t get upset easily and hadn't ever gotten properly upset with me before (at least not to this extent) so I was very taken aback, but I was floored by his reason for being upset. Not word for word, but he essentially said "so basically you want me to frustrate myself to feed your ego?"

I was, I think understandably, completely fucking appalled by such a suggestion. I said of course not, I was just suggesting something I knew worked for someone else because even if it wasn't his thing, we could narrow down options by process of elimination. Which made logical sense, to me. He wasn't calmed though, he started saying things like "so, you want your partner to be attracted to you even though you never plan on actually letting them act on that attraction? Do you see how cruel that is?" And... I don’t know, which is why I'm submitting this here. Is that cruel?

From my perspective, I would think it's only natural to want to know your partner finds you attractive, doesn't everyone want to be wanted to some degree? I don't get some sort of sadistic thrill out of it as he seemed to be implying, and I don't want it to impact my partners in a negative way. If this was something he would find frustrating then no, of course I wouldn't want him to frustrate himself, we could look at other options. When I made the suggestion, I figured the worst that would happen was he'd say no and we'd narrow down the list of options. I never imagined my moral character would be called into question.

He's usually so, so nice to me and it hit really hard for someone who’s usually so fond of me to say I sounded selfish and vain. Both actual words he used when this devolved into an argument. I explained my reasoning for suggesting it to begin with but he said the issue isn’t the suggestion, it's that he thinks that it's fucked up of me to want my partner to be attracted to me when I'm not going to indulge that attraction and it makes him wonder if I'm really a different, worse person deep down and he's only now getting to see it. He called it a red flag. That seemed like such a leap to me but I don't want to dismiss the suggestion out of hand. Many bad people think they're good people, so it's not out of the question.

This was our first real argument, previous disagreements had been talked out very calmly but emotions ran high with this one. I dont know if this is something that triggered him for deeper reasons, considering his reaction was so intensely out of the norm for him, or if the whole thing just looks entirely different from the perspective of someone who isn't sex repulsed.

Am I the asshole here? Is it really as fucked up as he says that I enjoy knowing my partner is attracted to me even though I won't agree to have sex with them?

We didn't discuss the topic any more that night, and it hasn't been brought up since. He hasn't been treating me differently than before, but he's always proactively apologized before when he was in the wrong about things and he hasn't this time, so to me that says he still stands by what he said. His words have stuck with me and they’re eating at me. I feel like such a horrible person, and I have no idea if I should feel more or less guilty about this.

Tl;dr: my boyfriend is upset that I like knowing my partners are attracted to me even though I don't want to and don't intend to have sex with them bc he thinks that's majorly fucked up and a red flag.

What are these acronyms?

[kamisama1kiss]

Just read your Descendants Lloyd AU, honestly props to the person who came up with it cause I love it so incredibly much!

Can you please do one where it comes out that Lloyd and Reader are a couple and everyone is all confused and surprised that the Garmadon boy has a soft spot for someone, causing weirded out looks, which makes him a little insecure.

Reader pries out of him what’s wrong and when he admits it, she reassures him that it’s all fine and than accidentally drops the L word and he’s so surprised and confused because THIS IS NEW

The way I just didn't want to stop writing on this idea, it was too cute 😭🙏 whoever you are has blessed my soul, istg! Didn't proofread, so be careful 😝

{!Gender neutral! With use of They/Them/Their}

~~~

Lloyd Garmadon Descendents Au { Nervous lover boy }

{Words counted: 570+}

Walking next to him as they held up books for the next classes for the evening, “Hey, Lloyd?” they spoke out of the blue, looking up at him over their shoulder, seeing him already having his deep amethyst eyes gazed on their frame. "Yeah." simple answer from his side, seemingly he had been a tad distant more the last few days.

"If you're free today, could you maybe help me with an essay later today?” lifting a brow of curiosity with a tiny grin creeping up their features. Almost a hesitant of an answer, he looked around himself, checking for others listening ears and daggers of disgusted gaze.

“Yeah, I don't mind.” Finally, he answered, leaving them a tad confused, with the hesitation that lingers in his tone and actions. Even now, avoiding eye contact with them even, which felt odd coming from him out of all people. Their eyes looked around but quickly saw the glares alongside mumbling and pointing fingers at the duo.

It clicked now for them why he seemed more inverted than usual, at least to them, that is. “Why haven’t you -" but Lloyd silenced them before their words could continue. “How about we talk more later, yeah?” He spoke quietly yet fast before turning on the heel and walking the other way, leaving them behind.

Their expression falters as they watch him fade away into the crowd, head down, hands in pockets. They felt uneasy to say it simple. Looking back at their peers as they shushed between themselves while trying to hold back laughter.

This is a topic of discussion even if he wished for it or not. Sticking to their defeat this time around, gripping the books, thier eye turned down as a blanket of gloss filled the brim. Shaking it off for now as they continued on their next destination, class.

~~~

They sat on his bed with book in hand and the boy himself next to them helping with reading, luckly Carlos, Dude and Jay had gone out with Mal and Evie. Giving the two of them the time and space, which is what they both had asked for.

Clock was ticking louder as their ears rang, lost focus minutes ago, breathing heavy heartedly. “Lloyd, we need to talk…” They started while removing their eyes from the filled pages, “..what was this morning?”

"Nothing, just remembered that Carlos wanted to chat with me about... the team" Shrugged his shoulders, never removing the focus on many of the words in the book. "You can be honest with me. I hope you know that." Placing a hand on top of his to show comfort.

Eye contact was almost immediately received from his side, "I do, just.. dont worry, kay?" Tilting his head to the side with his hair falling after him, almost looking like a puppy. "I saw them, the pointing, laughing, and the glares..." took a deep breath "I am not oblivious."

Lloyd procrastinated with answering before shaking his head, having his head fallen down. "No, you're right." Looking ahead as to maintain eye contact with them. "They are well looking down at me... for another reason than being me." They nodded lightly, signalling to their ears being open.

"It's because I am in a relationship. I am known for a lot but being soft? Isn't one of them." His ears showed a soft redish pink being embarrassed of having to come to terms with admiting it. "It's dumb. I should have told you, but... maybe you'd think the same once you heard what they said."

From a shocked to a saddened experience, they shook their hand, placing the other hand on top of his as well. "I would never stop loving you." Gliding their thumb up and down the back of his palm, "They're just a bunch of snobs anyhow. Don't let it get to you."

With even noticing their usage of words, his eyes softened, having focused on one word specifically. "You love me?" He whispered, wanting to make sure he heard correctly.

"Well.. yes, I do." Recreating a warm sensation on their features, "..and I have for a while." Chuckling softly with a drop of nervousness could be easily picked up. "I didn't think you saw me like that, especially with.. my family history." Squeezing their hands in his own grip.

"That's ridiculous. You are your own person." They started. "You're different from your father." Lifting his hand up to kiss the back of his palm before leaning in his hand. "You're amazing, Lloyd." They whispered, looking into his glossy eyes. "Thank you, sweetheart."

"Don't thank me, thank yourself for being you." Smiling gently at him showing only that their actions ment pure and true affection. "You're so cheesy." Softly laughing before leaning forwards for a peck on their cheek, "Still."

[carlsainz]

𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 - 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒂 𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊

summary: you and luca are best friends but are always acting like a married couple. could it mean something more? pairing: luca fantilli x reader requested: yes a/n: here i am shaking as i post this one. i really hope you like it and please remember you can request blurbs!! not proofread warnings: cursing word count: 2,4k lowercase intended.

“i once believed love would be burning red

but it's golden

like daylight”

daylight, taylor swift.

lulu 🧚🏻‍♀️

i don’t care if it’s 2am, i’m lonely, come watch a movie

you looked at luca’s text as if you were hallucinating or still dreaming. looking at the clock, you could see it was literally 2am. he’s lost all his senses, you thought.

sitting down and drinking some water from the cup on your nightstand, you finally felt awake enough to understand the world around you. your best friend had sent at least 30 “hey” before sending the last message and you couldn’t believe he woke you up for that.

dude are you crazy?

lulu 🧚🏻‍♀️

wtf

no

why

it’s 2am and i was SLEEPING

lulu 🧚🏻‍♀️

i don’t care, come watch a movie

where’s adam?

lulu 🧚🏻‍♀️

no idea dude

dont you have practice in the morning?

lulu 🧚🏻‍♀️

day off

i fucking hate you

lulu 🧚🏻‍♀️

no you don’t

attachment

it was a picture of him laying down and blowing you a kiss. he was lucky you loved him. you got up and threw on a hoodie over your pajamas, but of course the hoodie was luca’s. silently, you snuck out the apartment you shared with your friends and closed the door behind you.

yawning, you quickly made your way out of the building and got into your car, starting the engine and heading to luca’s. it didn’t take long for you to arrive and soon you were knocking on his door.

“it’s open,” was the muffled sound that came behind the door.

opening the door and closing it behind you, you could see his content smile to see you there.

“hey bubba,” you said, taking off your shoes and laying by his side.

luca immediately snuggled you close, smelling the scent of your hair and humming.

“stop it, you look like a child.”

“i can’t help it, your hair smells so good.”

“whatever,” you uttered. “what are we watching?”

“oh, about this,” luca started and you looked at his face. “i lied, there’s no movie, just cuddles.”

“i’m gonna kill you right here, i can’t believe you made me come here at 2am for cuddles, luca giulio.”

“damn not this again,” he whispered. “i just miss my best friend, that’s not a crime.”

“it wouldn’t be if we haven’t seen each other in a while but we were together the whole afternoon!”

“okay i’m guilty.”

“i don’t know why we’re still friends.”

despite saying that, you got closer to him and intertwined your legs together like you always do. luca kissed your forehead and you started running your fingers through his hair. soon, you drifted off to sleep and only woke up the next morning hearing giggles.

groaning, you snuggled even closer to luca, that immediately and unconsciously brought you closer to him and the giggles were higher.

“look how they look like a couple,” someone said.

more giggles. “at this point they can’t even hide anymore.”

“hide what, you bunch of idiots?” your voice was muffled and sleepy.

“shit, we woke her up,” you could recognize rutger’s voice.

carefully turning around, you saw him, adam and johnny sitting on adam’s bed staring at you and luca. “you’re all very weird.”

“and you and luca are dating.”

“no we’re not.”

“keep lying and we’ll keep pretending to believe.”

“listen here, you little shit-“ you started but stopped as soon as you felt luca’s face on the crook of your neck.

“what’s going on?” he asked, voice hoarse. you felt shivers on your whole body but tried to hide it.

“these idiots were staring at us while we slept.”

luca opened his eyes and made a disgusted noise. “get out of here, all of you.”

“that’s my room too,” adam protested.

“i don’t care,” luca retorted.

“get out,” you said.

johnny giggled and said “the lovey doveys want to spend more time alone.”

“shut your mouth druskinis.”

while they said something, you were completely static at what luca just whispered “it wouldn’t be too bad if we were dating.”

you pretend he didn’t say anything and kept acting normal.

until a week passed and you were once again cuddling with luca. after a huge win, everyone was out celebrating but you and your best friend decided to stay at his dorm to start watching daisy jones and the six.

halfway through the second episode, you couldn’t stop thinking and hit pause on the remote. looking up, you could see luca’s questioning face.

“what happened?”

you sighed, sat down and just spilled the thought that was consuming you. “do you ever think what would be like if we just kissed?”

he just stared at you for a whole minute and you could feel your face burning with shame. “you know what, never mind.”

“no, wait,” he held your chin and grinned. “do you wanna kiss me?”

you rolled your eyes but mumbled “yeah.”

the smile he opened was one of the biggest you’ve seen yet and he just whispered “c’mere.”

you bent down, focusing only on his face and when your noses were touching, you stopped. both of you smiled and you could feel luca’s hand going straight to your hair, while the other caressed your cheek.

he angled your head so your lips could finally touch. the chemistry was absurd from the first second of it, your movements simply fitting together like you’ve been doing that forever. you felt luca’s smile before he deepened the kiss and you adjusted yourself so it could be more comfortable, and that meant on top of your best friend.

you kissed and kissed and it was like time stopped for both of you, it was your moment. it just felt right, like every cliche book you’ve ever read and dreamed about.

when the air felt needed and you had to break the kiss, it was like bursting a bubble. you came back to the real world and realized you were straddling luca, your best friend, and his hands were on your hips.

“wow that was-“ you started laughing.

“i know,” he smiled. “we should do that again some time.”

and so you did. after practices and games, at parties, during study sessions, watching movies. everything was an excuse to make out and you weren’t complaining. of course no one knew about that, it was your little secret, but the boys were already betting, not knowing what was happening, when you two would reveal the relationship. 

after relaxing weeks, you started getting a lot of work to do and could barely see luca and the boys and even attended their games. one day, luca was missing you so bad he decided to go to your apartment just to scroll through his phone while you did your things. 

opening the door with his spare key, he saw daisy, one of your friends and she just waved, already used to him being around. 

“hey where’s y/n/n?” 

“on her bedroom,” daisy replied. “it would be good if you could make her eat something, she's been there since she came back from class in the morning.” 

luca nodded and went to your bedroom. before he opened the door, he could already tell something was wrong. he heard you sniffling and was hit with a wave of worry. 

when you noticed him inside your bedroom, you tried to wipe your tears and force a smile. 

“hi lulu, what are you doing here?” 

“what’s wrong, princess?” he cooed and closed the door behind him, going to sit by your side on the floor.

with that, you started violently crying and luca wrapped his arms around you. all the time he was whispering sweet nothings in your ear, trying to calm you down and he did that until you stopped shaking and crying.

“do you wanna talk about this?” he asked.

you sighed and held him closer. “i- i just have so much work from school, i’m not dealing very well and think i need help.”

“lemme see,” he mumbled, reaching for one of your books and reading its content. “i’m pretty sure steve can help you, your major is the same and he’s almost done.” 

“but i don’t wanna disturb him.”

“i promise you won’t, he loves helping everyone study and he already said you’re like his younger sister.” 

you felt your heart warming. “really?” 

he just hummed against your hair and kissed your head. “feeling better now?” 

“yeah, thanks lulu.” 

he softly laughed and held your head between his hands. “you look so cute with this red nose,” he said, kissing said nose. 

“stop, i must be terrible right now,” you laughed too. 

“nah you look just fine,” he kissed both of your cheeks before giving you a quick kiss. “do you wanna eat something?”

“i’m not hungry but i suppose i should.” 

“yes ma’am,” he responded. “what about you pack all your books and put something on your laptop so we can watch?” 

“even gravity falls?”

“especially gravity falls.”

“you’re the best,” you said.

“i know i am,” he gave you a smug smile and a quick peck before getting up and heading to the kitchen. 

you did as he said and waited on your bed, even though he was taking longer than you had expected. when you were almost napping, he opened the door and laid down with you. 

“where’s my food?” you pouted. 

“what do you think about sushi?”

“the answer is always yes, lulu,” you responded. “but what were you doing that took you so long?”

“i was just doing the dishes, i know it was your day so i wanted to help.” 

“i love you so much, fantilli,” you said before you could think. it wasn’t like you haven’t said that before, it just felt… different this time. 

meanwhile, luca felt his heart beating faster than ever but couldn’t understand why. 

“damn thanks buddy,” he replied and you just pulled his hair playfully. 

you laughed and he unlocked his phone to order your food. it was a great night and he was beside you the whole time, helping you to feel better. he even texted stevie while you weren’t looking to ask for his help, to which he promptly responded he could give you as much help as he could. 

it was on a random afternoon that you realized you had fallen in love with your best friend. you were on your daily run, listening to taylor swift, when you paid attention to daylight’s lyrics. the realization made you suddenly stop in the middle of the sidewalk while you stared at the sunset with shades of golden. 

of course you had dated other boys before, but never really loved them, just heard about this feeling. in the books you’ve read, love was always something that burned, consuming the characters, until they were full of it. but what you felt was really different. 

your love for luca started small, like a seed, and it’s been growing every single day with his actions; he earned it. you realized that love was now a full grown sunflower, golden as the daylight shone through its petals. perhaps taylor wasn’t wrong when she said love was golden like daylight. 

you followed your way home and started getting ready for luca’s game. with his jersey on, you and your friends headed to yost and sat close to the boards. 

during warmups, you saw luca looking around the arena until he saw you. he opened a big smile and skated towards you, playing with a puck. luca grimaced, making you laugh and then threw you the puck. before he skated to where the rest of the boys were, he blew you a kiss and you blushed very hard, sending a kiss back. 

your friends just laughed. “so when’s the marriage?” lucy asked. 

“oh shut up lucy,” you blushed harder and started distracting yourself on the phone. 

it was working until some girls started whispering behind you and you could only hear “yeah, she’s luca’s girlfriend” followed by “shut up, she’s literally in front of us!” 

you smiled and decided to tell him about your feelings after the game. of course they won, with a luca goal, and you went to the tunnel to wait for him while talking to the other girls that were waiting for their boyfriends. it didn’t take long for him to show up and you ran towards him. he lifted you, spinning and you could only giggle. 

when he put you down, you smiled looking at his face and controlled your urge to kiss his pretty lips. 

“i’m so proud of you, lulu.”

“that means a lot to me, princess,” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. 

you laughed and just said “did you know some girls behind us thought i was your girlfriend?” 

“oh they did? maybe they’re not so wrong.” 

you just looked at him in disbelief and continued “i need to talk to you, do you have a minute?” 

“of course, come,” he guided you to the parking lot. 

it was cold, so he hugged you to keep both of you warm. 

“lu, i realized something this afternoon and i need to share it with you,” you started. “it’s alright if you don’t feel the same, i just thought you should know because it's a good thing, i think.” 

he gave you an encouraging nod. “i’m in love with you, and i’ve probably been for a while now but just realized today. you just light up my life since day one and i couldn’t imagine myself without you-“

luca didn’t leave you to finish, because without seeing it coming, his lips were on yours, the kiss more passionate than ever. he quickly broke it just to confess “i’ve been in love with you since the day we first kissed but just realized like last week and it’s very good to know you feel the same.” 

“yours is the brightest soul i’ve ever seen,” you smiled and he connected your lips again. 

he was pressing you against a car when you started hearing loud cheers and whistles. of course the boys had to transform that into some kind of mess but you didn’t mind, just laughed, hiding your face on luca’s coat. 

you could hear very loud rutger, johnny and adam telling the other boys to pay for the bet. and you couldn’t help but giggle and mutter “idiots” under your breath, but affectionately. 

luca hugged you and put his head on the crook of your neck. “now we need to go to your home to make up for the lost time, huh?”

taglist: @woodruff-edwards @matsmarts

[lickmycoffeecup]

HAPPY TMAGP FINALE DAY EVERYONE

(Its Thursday where I am!)

Here’s my thoughts on TMAGP 30

Spoilers under cut

I wanted to sit on this instead of giving an immediate response cause… I was actually kind of underwhelmed by this episode? And I wanted to make sure that was how I really felt before saying anything.

THAT BEING SAID, I DIDN’T HATE THE EPISODE.

A lot happens!

But also… A lot didn’t happen?

They set a lot of stuff up, which is great! But I feel like it also didn’t give a whole lot, and now we’re just kind of left waiting. I trust Alex and Jonny, but it just really left me feeling like, “Wait? Thats it?” And now we have the hiatus!

Anyway, its a good episode! I’m looking forward to next season! Which is why I feel kind of bad that I’m not more enthusiastic!

Now for some thoughts on the episode itself.

SAM HAS A COLD.

I died when Alice’s phone rang. CAUSE NOT COLLIN TOO????

I feel so bad for Alice, cause she can’t be everything to everyone. And her running after Sam is understandable. But I know its gonna crush her if something DOES happen to Teddy or Collin (and this is a Magnus podcast, SO I MEAN????). She’s gonna have so much regret not hearing either of them out, and I hope that she doesn’t let that get to her too much.

Good for Lena! Get out of there, honey! She really said, “Fine. You want it? You can have it!” And dipped, and she’s honestly so iconic for that.

Also good for Gwen! She’s in her Finding Out Era 😌

She’ll be finding out REAL SOON.

I loved The Custodian! I was so excited, I actually paused the episode to see if maybe that was Joshua Gillespie 😂

ONLY FOR HIM TO GET ARCHIFISTED.

Imagine going 30 years, avoiding the horrors, just to get GOT by the ONE horror who wasn’t in your weird little shopping mall prison? RIP dude, you’re on the GOAT list.

“We want your teeth!” killed me 😂

But seriously, what the hell??? Is Hilltop the next Panopticon prison? What are all these shops?

The Great Mall of Horrors??????

I was honestly surprised that Celia finally came clean with Sam, and that for SOME reason she was gonna toss him in to balance everything? Like I saw it coming, but at the same time, lady, you still got me.

This part was a little ??????? for me, cause like. Celia knew automatically what they would find. But then she can’t remember how she got to this world? So like, did she not wake up next to the tear? And why exactly is it calling HER back? When we haven’t had any indication of other doubles experiencing the same thing. Did they kill their doubles and set things “right” before they started getting called back? Was Celia tossing Sam in her way of avoiding murder to balance everything? BUT ALSO HOW IS THAT NOT AS BAD CELIA?

I see where she’s coming from, wanting to stay with Jack. But also I’m not even fully sure of where she got the idea. Maybe it was from the cases? Maybe she was getting emails we haven’t heard?

And like… Was Sam just opportunistic? Would she have thrown ANYONE in there? Gerry? Helen? Basira? Alice or Gwen?

She hesitated in the end, I had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to do it. BUT WOULD SHE HAVE STOPPED IF IT WAS ANYONE ELSE?

Some have also suggested maybe Jack is a demon baby. Maybe keeping her here. We’re not even sure Celia gave birth to Jack.

Either way, WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS, CELIA!

I love that Alice bribed the taxi guy, and she respected his hustle.

NOW, I really wanted to look at the transcript for this next part, but as of writing this. I haven’t seen it posted yet. SO ONWARDS. I will quench my curiosity when its posted.

I DONT KNOW THAT [ERROR] AND SAM WENT THROUGH THE TEAR. It didn’t seem super obvious to me that thats what happened. Which is why I wanted to see the transcript.

If they didn’t, it begs the question what will happen to Sam, who is getting sick. Will [ERROR] just let them go? And why was [ERROR] even following them? They clearly didn’t go there for the Magnus Outreach Center. Is Sam’s trauma just really tasty?

If they DID go through the tear, I’ll be so curious to know what effect that will have on [ERROR]. If they wind up back in the TMAverse, since there’s no fears there now. Will we finally find out who [ERROR] is? Will they be a regular person again, with a non-semi sentient people biting tape recorder?

And last but not least… I hope Alice punches Celia, and then they get to work!

This was a wild season, I really am excited for the next season! Looking forward to reading what others have to say about this episode!

[destinysbounty]

Huh. I just dug up an old fan-theory i came up with back when i was like 15. And while its definitely way too weak to hold up against any real scrutiny, it at the very least makes for some mildly interesting fanfic fodder so i thought id share it with the greater fandom hivemind.

(Dont come at me about the holes in this theory btw, i was practically a baby when i came up with this and it was one of my first attempts at theory-crafting. Trust me, ive come a long way since then)

Anyway, the theory goes like this:

While in the lighthouse, Dr. Julien builds a replica of his son. But try as he might to get it to turn on, it never actually works. Whatever special spark brought the first Zane to life is inexplicably absent from this one. So he locks it away in his basement, and never gives it the light of day again. This is the reason Dr. Julien never told Zane about Echo, or brought him with them - because at the time, Echo wasnt even functional. Wouldnt even turn on. Was nothing more than a lifeless shell collecting rust in the basement.

So how, then, did Echo become sentient by season 6? Great question! But uhh heres where the theory kinda starts to go off the rails. So buckle up, folks.

Basically the theory goes that when Zane died at the end of s3, his soul still lingered in Ninjago. And his disembodied spirit eventually found itself drawn to a vessel that was similar to the one he'd lost - one his father had built yet long abandoned. But his new body lacked the memory storage contained within his old one, and his resurrection effectively gave him almost complete amnesia. All he could remember was his name and his purpose (to protect those who cannot protect themselves).

Meanwhile, when Titanium Zane says hes a replica, hes actually completely right about that. Some fragments of his code left behind from his visit to the Digiverse gained sentience and inherited Zane's elemental power, creating the Zane we know and love today.

But the original Zane, the one that died fighting the Overlord, actually ended up becoming Echo Zane. Which then would have explained why Zane had so many holes in his memories after being resurrected, and why his sixth sense became much less active as well - he was only made from fragments of the real Zane's code, after all.

Now, as the big smart grownup i am today, i can look back at this theory my baby self had crafted and poke about a million holes into it. But...idk, i always feel nostalgic about this theory in spite of all that. Not just bc it was one of my first fan theories ever, but also bc it would have such fascinating narrative implications if true.

Like, the idea of Mr. E being Echo? Well, if we apply that to the concept of Echo being the Original Zane, then his hatred for Current Zane takes on a whole new dimension. It also gives me a lot of emotions about the whole Ice Emperor situation, as well as Zane's apparent discomfort towards his own statue.

And what kind of position does that put the rest of the gang in? If they had to choose between saving one or the other - the Zane who died for you, or the Zane who lives for you - which one would they choose? Could they choose? How long do you have to love a replica before it starts to feel more authentic than the original? And in that case, who becomes the 'real' zane? The one you love, or the one you lost?

Again. This theory has more holes in it than the Titanic. Cut me some slack, i was an idiot child and also a novice at making theories. But giving credit where its due, i do think it at least raises some interesting concepts. And Ive always casually wondered what would happen if it turned out to be true.

Like i said. Fanfic fodder.

[rubywithecat]

hi ruby❤️

i was thinking abt reiner begging reader to love him after he kidnaps her from paradis

(they were lovers back there, reader as eren, mikasa, and armin’s bff, they first met when reader visited the camp to see her friends-but now she is traumatized, she refuses to be with him or even talk to him; she now hates reiner but reiner still loves her)

A/n: Hey! I really love this idea omg<3

Reiner x reader

A vivid memory keep playing in your head. A tough mission where being trapped in a castle with tons of titans surrounding it, all the dying soldiers, blood everywhere, such a devastating scene.

You were badly injured and then even had to witnessed your lover betrayal was the worst. You wished it was all a dream. You remember Eren was so angry but you couldn’t remember what exactly afterward as you fell out of conscious when a giant hand landed on you.

You were brought back to your sense when you heard a familiar voice. “How do u feel now?” he asked.

“Reiner…?” You mumbled. “Where is this place?” He was in a nice sweatshirt which is slightly revealing his muscles, his hair kinda look cleaner. He came closer to you as his hand raise to touch your forehead and you immediately back off.

“Dont touch me!” you said firmly, looking into his hazel eyes with fear. “You are in my hometown, Marley. Please, y/n… I’m not gonna do anything to you” he took another step. You quickly grabbed the knife from the table beside as you stepped back and pointing the knife towards him as a self-defense, your hands shaking. “I don’t want to be here! You fcking traitor!” you yelled. “Stay away from me!”

He narrowed his eyes, lifted his both hands up in a gave up posture “Look I’m not gonna hurt you. Ok? I would never hurt you”. You didn’t say anything, just breathing heavily and still pointing the knife at him. He looked at you in guilt. “Y/n I’m so sorry… but— I had to do it! It was the mission I had to fulfill and also the reason why I was even there!” He explained.

You shook your head hard. “No! No! I trusted you! Eren, Armin, Mikasa we all trusted you!” you yelled and couldn’t hold your tears. “And why did you even bring me here? What do u want more from me?!”

“I wanted to be with you. I love you!” He said carefully. You let out a laugh. “What—? After all you have done? No! Just let me be back to my home! To my friends!”

Suddenly, he took advantage of you losing focus on your knife and finally grabbed it from you, threw that knife away on the carpet. He then hugged you tightly in his large chest and you tried to push him away but it was not working.

“Look at me y/n. I’m sorry and guilty about what I had done but I can’t—“ he paused. “I can’t lose you. Please… im begging you y/n. Forgive me and stay with me.” He hugged you even more tighter.

“I hate you! I can’t love you anymore Reiner. Please let me go!” you cried.

“I will never let you go! You have to stay with me!” He groaned and as he realized he was being rough on you, he let you go. You immediately stepped away from him.

“I hate you. I hate you so much! I hate you more than anything! I’m never gonna love you again!” You kept yelling at him. “Shut up!” He cried finally as he couldn’t take your words anymore.

He went silent for a while and then he forced himself to smile. He walked closer and closer to you until you have no space to step back anymore as the wall trapped you. “Well, my dear y/n.. even if you hate me, you don’t have any choice cuz I am never letting you get away from me.” He touched your cheek playfully and lifted your chin up “You are mine, forever!”

——

Hope you love this! <33

——

——

[fipindustries]

does F.I.P stand for anything in particular or is it a secret

ah, my favourite question to answer, fuck it, this time im going to give the long answer:

a primer on FIP

you know.

i dont have the best memory of my past, i truly dont. i claim that certain things happen at certain ages but there is no way for me to know for sure.

long long ago i decided, a bit at random, that the age at which i came up with the concept of FIP industries might have been when i was eleven. that was a guess, an educated guess but a guess all the same.

i know the very first idea of something akin to fip industries came to me on a family trip after watching the now forgotten cartoon show called the project zeta. and this all happened roughly in 2003 - 2004. so that is why i use that date.

which would mean that its been 20 years since i came up with this project. i do remember distinctly that i promised my self at that age that i would not allow maturity or growing up to take this thing away from me. that i would not forget this story or these characters. indeed that i would make it grow and dedicate the surely considerable resources i would have as an adult to make it come true.

and i didnt.

ten years after that, when i was 21, i wrote a novel called F.I.P. industries. it's... fine, for a first draft of a first work of someone who had never written a novel before at 21 years of age. it develop the story, it crystalized it. it gave it a coherent shape and a strong foundation. what's more, it cemented the arcs of many of its key characters, characters that had started as broken, improvised toys made out of key chains and legos and pieces of toy cars. the lore also went through an EXTENSIVE overhaul, i incorporated elements from other stories, fused characters together into a single character, changed the race and gender of many other characters, changed dates, names and arcs around and streamlined the whole thing.

then in 2020 i decided to overhaul the entire lore a second time. dramatically changing the timeline and the importance of certain characters, cannibalizing a bunch of other stories, retooling a lot of things and, once again, pushing everything into a new direction.

and of course i should add that during those 20 years i kept adding characters, side stories, spin offs, lore, backstories and actually continued the story along. twenty years have passed both in the real world and in-universe.

and given that this is the story's 20th aniversary (i think), it is time for me to share this story with all of you, from beggining to end, explaining every character along the way. this is going to be a long and arduous excercise and i genuenly dont know if i am going to get through it all, but i will try all the same.

ill be making a series of posts under the tag #FIPindustries the story can be divided in three eras, it will be one masterpost per era, where i will go over the main chronology of the story and the main characters in each era.

Era 1, also known as the golden years covers the founding and original expansion of fip industries as a research lab covering multiple different disciplines and fields of studies, trying to find synergies between the different investigations. this was all financed and directed by its founder, Filander Ignatius Patrick. this era ends with the collapse of the company during a terrible incident that ended up killing, vanishing or transmutating most of its employees. what few survivors there were left scattered to the winds. key characters in this era are Montogmery J. Black, also known as the shadow, Craig Sterling, legally assigned as grim reaper, and Franchesca Turimov, cyborg, rabble rouser, bad news.

Era 2, also known as the dormant era, covers the fallout of fip industries collapse and the different stories of the multiple scavengers that managed to salvage the lost technology from the ruins of the company. this era is mainly dominated by Maximillian Sicamore, a sinister man with many secrets and even more plans, who used to be an employee at the company and one of the few survivors of the collapse. key characters in this era are Maximillian Sicamore, criminal mastermind, proud father, The four crazy kids, Marten, Ralph, Sarah and jessica, freelance heroes, The harpsichord crew, sky pirates.

Era 3, is the return of FIP industries to its former glory under the helm of maximillian's son, Erik Sicamore, who takes over his father's empire, re hires many of the old scientists that survived (and many of those who didnt as well), and includes a fresh batch of new blood, amongst which you can find many of fip industries old enemies. Under the control of Erik the company is redirected to more "charitable" goals, such as finding a source of infinite renewable energy for the world (which is all a front for his real plans, killing god). key characters for this era are Erik Sicamore, leader of FIP industries, broken man, trans, Peter, tamed serial killer, Leenard and Sasha, scientists, lost in time, lost in space

with this quick introduction you should be ready to parse whatever the more indepth dives i might make some day on each era in the oncoming posts.

welcome to F.I.P. Industries

[goodlucktai]

tagged by @bobtheacorn like...... 3 weeks ago 😭 my bad

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

283

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,353,670

which seems.......excessive

3. What fandoms do you write for?

actively, one piece and tmnt, but that is ruled by the demons in my brain that control the hyperfixation machine.

fandoms ive posted 3 or more fics for:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends Good Omens Final Fantasy XV Undertale Mumintroll | Moomins Series Harry Potter Young Justice 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia 陈情令 | The Untamed King Falls AM Percy Jackson and the Olympians Rise of the Guardians Voltron: Legendary Defender

4. Top five fics by kudos?

Exclusivity - 11,116

walk straight through hell with a smile - 9,152

Inanition - 9,039

there is thunder in our hearts - 8,161

trouble is a friend of mine - 7,842

5. Do you respond to comments?

i do try to but i can't always :'( and i feel terrible if i manage to reply to most and then forget someone and only realize it months later. but i read every single comment and i appreciate them more than i have words for

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i tend to veer away from angst, but off the top of my head....

where the good men go or if i go i'm going on fire

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

99% of my fics have a happy ending because thats my BRAND but i suppose give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around or the weekend we were in love OR put your empty hands in mine

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not often, but i recently had someone who REALLY disliked the way things change because i 'villainized' raph. which is definitely news to me, since raphael is the love of my life

9. Do you write smut?

nope

10. Craziest crossover?

i wrote a tmnt/one piece crossover once ? but now that we are actually getting a tmnt/naruto idw run it doesnt feel that weird to me anymore

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

only once if i'm remembering right ?? it was a long time ago and wattpad related, which is a site that i dont really understand and therefore tend to avoid

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes ! i'll often have people request to translate my stories and it blows me away every time

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Devil took your hand was written by myself and @moogsthewriter

14. All time favourite ship?

ineffable husbands, wangxian, or leosagi

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

how much time do you have 😭

16. What are your writing strengths?

i want to say characterization and narrative voice. i'm also pretty good at maintaining a throughline, even if it sometimes gets a little wobbly

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

conflict ! i hate it ! i will avoid writing it at all costs ! i also tend to struggle with writing fight scenes, especially when there are several characters involved :') staging any kind of choreography is my opp

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i try not to but if it feels unavoidable i google the heck out of it

19. First fandom you wrote in?

honestly it was either digimon (which also inspired my og penname) or xiaolin showdown lol

20. Favourite fic you've written?

i'm stealing bob's idea and going top 5:

there is thunder in our hearts - this story came together so easily for me, like i knew exactly how i wanted to tell it from start to finish

the only hoax i believe in - a kfam fic in my top 5s why yes and i'll tell you why. because i poured so much of myself into this fic that they could probably read it at my funeral instead of a eulogy

traveling so far to get there - after party au raph and mikey continue to take up so much real estate in my brain and for what

now the darkness comes alive - this one is more recent but im so happy with the way it turned out :')

if we could stay all day in the sun - it was a lot of fun reimagining one of my favorite fairy tales and doing a bunch of unnecessary research for this story i will stand by it until the day i die !!

i'm tagging @mykimouser, @owletstarlet, @portgas-d-aroace, @mad4turtles, @camsthisky, @remedyturtles, @pickledcarrotsandradish, @swordsmans, @mangogreent, and anyone else who wants to !

[shreddeddescent]

Oh don't apologize about writing this, we are literally reading it too! I find the story interesting and like, yeah it is fucked up, but I'm having fun reading it too 💪💪💪

Also, how does Mikey feel about all this? I was thinking about that because he likes to deny the has 'adult problems' like you said, so I am really wondering about how he's dealing with all that is happening

🌠👾

ughhhh god...... the mikey can of worms about this specifically is exactly what that was about and whats been really tough to talk about. like this specific scene was what i had to get up and walk away from cuz it was painful.

he's not okay. he also doesnt care about it, cuz hes like... ugh you know what. i think i should actually just share this whole thing i wrote about it. this one is rough. nothing graphic, but if you wanna see how fucking not okay this kid is despite how much he's pretending he can be? yeah. hes gonna talk about his bullshit for the first time ever, and something bad had happened to mikey before. and he doesnt even know what.

which is like where i think the whole climax of this arch is going in my head. i havent written it all out yet. im being tugged along on a journey, yknow.

warnings for csa and incest and like. very poor coping mechanisms. all of it this one hurt me personally the most in the end.

theres some implications of things going on in the background, cuz at this exact moment none of the characters have been coping well hence the fucking.... need for these adults. raph needed to be alone to spiral about the 3 kids by himself, leo needed to be put to bed (by mikey) cuz he got way too high after realizing how much he'd been personally juggling everybody else, and donnie wont mind his buisness about anything, mikey had a go at him about it which resulted in him trying to help mikey with his current 'im having traumatic sex dreams' problem. but donnie is the same age and wasnt gonna be able to help much.

if any of it sounds confusing im sorry. id try and do a whole. fic thing about it but i really dont know if i can. whats important here is the mikey part. cuz this is where it all came to a head.

also mentions of lita, whos raph's little alter. the one that was only ever around for shredder. until recently

--

Mikey was glad that Donnie seemed better when he left the bathroom. He seemed to have been spiralling about whatever was going on between Leo and Raph.

He was pretty sure the idea of sex repulsed his twin, despite his attempts to explain it to him. He was a good brother. But it really wasn’t worth worrying about if Raph and Leo needed to be away from each other. It was weird he cared.

Donnie cared about too many fucking things.

Mikey had spent an extra long time in the bathroom, thinking over if he felt any attraction like Donnie said. He’d thought about exploring his body, but the idea reminded him of Raph. He really didn’t want it to but it did. The first time he’d seen his own penis was when it was forced into his sleeping brother.

His brother who felt like his mom.

It fucking broke something inside of him. He was trying like hell to be the baby Raph needed, to be okay for him, so he wouldn’t make Raph worse. But in the back of his mind he did know he wasn’t okay. And maybe he was just age regressing to cope. Maybe he was only getting angry at everyone cuz he couldn’t help the age regressing.

It was easy to feel like a baby when you were so malnourished as a child that you looked way younger than you should. Father had seen to that. He didn’t take care of him and then blamed Raph for his condition. And maybe he just didn’t want Raph to feel bad about it anymore.

And he had recently remembered.. something. Childhood Raph who wasn’t Raph. Raph leaving crying, coming back Lita and not crying. And… Lita apologizing for something.

The rest was a mystery. A mystery he’d thought he might be able to uncover in therapy with Big Mama, but now?! Now there was this whole… situation!

So he was just sitting with Donnie quietly, watching dumb shit on YouTube. Ignoring his feelings.

They’d seen Leo very not so subtly leave his room. He still stunk. He walked funny and airheaded, but as long as he wasn’t gonna bother Raph, who cared where he went.

…Mikey cared a little. And he was the only one who saw how much weed he’d smoked.

So after about 5 minutes he sighed and felt the need to get up and see if he could find him.

He went out in his red hoodie and some fresh sweatpants, it was night time and maybe he went outside.

He wandered the hall and felt that vertigo feeling again. He hated it, he didn't feel present. Made him think of the drugs from the cages. The drugs he’d been extra pumped full of for being good at fighting them off. That made it worse.

He rested against the wall for a moment and rubbed his eyes.

“Hey, little man.”

He blinked and looked up. It wasn’t Leo.

Jennika was there, in a loose white shirt and cargo pants. She got down into a squat in front of him and smiled.

“Are you okay?”

He felt like maybe he was standing on a fault line.

“Sorry… I’m kinda queasy…” he mumbled.

She eyed the place he was standing and gently gripped his shoulders, tugging him about 3 feet to the left.

The feeling faded and he sighed out in relief.

“Better?”

“Yeah..” he took a deep breath and stood up straight, smiling at her. “You’re…. I know who you are now.”

She stood at her full height and rubbed the back of her neck.

“Yeah… sorry I was uh… lying before. I guess I wasn’t really lying? But you know.”

He nodded slowly and smiled. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to find you. You seemed kinda.. not okay?”

Mikey laughed and shook his head. “Nah! I’m good! I’m fine, I’m just looking for Leo, he’s the one who’s not good.”

“Leo’s alright. I saw him earlier. Kirby’s kinda.. talking him down from his high I think.”

“Oh! Wow! Kirby’s talking to Leo?” He smiled up at her, that was exciting. He knew Leo seemed upset about being ignored by his…. Son. “That’s good. I think that’s good for him.”

She nodded and held out her hand. “Do you wanna walk somewhere? These walls are so… migraine city.”

Mikey looked up at her curiously and beamed. “Sure!” He took her hand and squeezed it softly.

She squeezed back and they walked to the elevator together. He noticed when she was inside there were more buttons and she pushed one.

She seemed a little shy so he tugged on her arm. She looked down at him curiously.

“Can I call you Jenny? Or is Jennika better?”

“You can call me whatever you want, I don’t mind.”

“Raph said you're trans like him. So that means you probably chose your own name, right? I mean... he didn’t. Cuz he’s.. his situation’s weird, but am I right?”

She blinked and smiled softly.

“Yeah.. I did. Is it… a cool name?”

“Yeah! So if you chose it that makes it extra important, so I wanna make sure I say it how you want it said. Jen-nick-kah. I like it!”

She took in an audibly shaky breath and looked back at the buttons.

“Th…thanks Mikey…”

He squeezed her hand.

“I uh… I don’t think you’re looking at me for like… ugh.. dad approval. But like, you seem cool.”

She smiled and laughed a little. “No, I’m definitely not, but thanks. I feel a little.. weird to be honest. But I hope we can clear the air?”

He smiled up at her genuinely and nodded. “I’d like that.”

The elevator doors opened into a lobby Mikey hadn’t seen before. They’d been portaled from the city straight into Big Mama’s office. This was an actual entrance.

And… it was a button they got blocked from pressing? He’d need to think about that later.

Jennika walked with him out of the building and Mikey came into contact with a whole other world. They were in a courtyard of sorts, a city street across from them. The sky was pitch black, because it wasn’t a sky, it was high dark cave walls that stretched beyond what he could see. There were floating crystals for street lamps lighting the streets.

The streets were full of yokai, going about their days. Shopping at storefronts of magic and mundane. It seemed busy. It seemed normal.

He stopped in his tracks and Jennika turned to look at him worriedly.

“Are you okay?”

“W-where…” He kept staring over at the street. There were weird chariots for cars, and creatures flying above his head.

This wasn’t New York City. 

She seemed to realize what was wrong and her eyes widened. “Oh! You’ve.. never been to the Hidden City. Oh shit. This was stupid Kirby’s gonna kill me.”

Mikey stumbled back into a fountain in the courtyard and sat on it. He looked behind him and he could see the exterior of the hotel for the first time.

A skyscraper that existed underground, he couldn’t even see the top because of how dark it was up there.

He rubbed his temples and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths.

“Mikey are you okay?!” She sat down beside him and put her hand on his shell.

“I… yeah.. it’s just a lot…” he didn’t open his eyes but he did lean into her. “I don’t get out much, I guess. I’d be more excited if it hadn’t been… a day.”

He might have been letting his very well crafted facade slip.

She rubbed his shell. “I just thought we could go get some ice cream and talk it out. I thought maybe the hotel was a dumb place to talk, but maybe that’s my bad… I didn’t think about how weird this would be, I’m sorry.”

He looked up at her. She looked anxious and guilty.

So he thought about what she’d just asked and blinked up at her.

“Hidden city has ice cream? Like somewhere I could try every flavour? Cuz we fit in down here?!” He asked excitedly.

Her eyes widened and she beamed. “Yeah! That’s exactly what I was tryina do!”

He jumped up and tugged her arm.

“Show me! Show me show me!”

She grinned and stood up, jogging with him down the street.

He was laughing as they ran goofily down the street. People were staring but not because they were freaks, just cuz they were having fun.

They found a storefront for ice cream and there was a many armed person at the till. Jennika boldly asked for two samples of every flavour and it earned a very annoyed look from the clerk. She slid some kind of hidden city money over with an apologetic smile to make it worth their time which cheered them up.

There was some weird flavours in there he’d never heard of. Some sounded like fruits that didn’t exist, others were weirdly goopy or fleshy in nature. One even made them breathe fire, it was fun. They had a laugh.

By the time they’d tried everything Mikey was given some kind of mix of 5 flavours in a bowl with a spoon, and Jennika got the same.

So they walked down the street eating ice cream together. Like they were normal people having a normal outing.

It was so weird how normal it felt.

She showed him a park to walk through, the trees and plants were purple instead of green which was cool.

They sat down at a bench facing a glowing green lake to sit and eat. It was peaceful. He liked it.

“So how are you?” She finally asked, scooping ice cream in her mouth.

“Kinda confused. You’re really nice and cool, but like… you’re.. you know. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel… like, I feel kinda silly? But also.. feel kinda bad?” He was squishing the ice cream together, mixing the colours absentmindedly in the bowl.

She hummed and swallowed back her current bite, placing the bowl down beside her. “I can tell you how I see it. Which is that you’re like.. a brother. Like I know where I come from, but you’re just a kid, and you’re a kid on your own and that makes me sad, and I feel like I’m standing right here in front of you with like.. I dunno, open ears. No that’s not the phrase..” she tapped her chin as she tried to think.

Mikey looked up at her curiously. “Open arms?”

She snapped her fingers and grinned down at him. “Yeah! Open arms. I know it’s weird. I'm not trying to make you feel weird, I just wanna listen if you need someone.”

He looked down at his bowl and took a small bite. He wasn’t sure how well some of this went together but he liked it all the same. A big fucked up hodgepodge of deliciousness.

“I… don’t want you to feel weird. Maybe I’m hoping we’re just gonna be a big family with ease and nobodies gonna have any problems anymore and I can just be normal and not worry anymore.”

She smiled sadly and bumped his arm with hers.

“I’d like to be a family like that, but I think it won’t be so easy. And that’s okay. I wanna put work in, we all do. I think it’s worth a try, and I’m kinda old enough that I can handle whatever you wanna throw at me.”

He glared at the lake with a tired look in his eye. “Just cuz you’re old doesn’t make you able to handle stuff. Old people never handle stuff good as far as I’ve seen. I guess that’s not fair… I just think I’ve seen my brothers get hurt over and over cuz people don’t care how they come off to us. Cuz Shredder treated us like animals, and Splinter…” he sighed. That was a whole can of worms. “She’s old, and yet she felt more emotionally stupid than everybody else. Than her own kids.”

He blinked and realized he’d been talking a bunch and looked up at her. She was just watching him with a sad look.

“Sorry. I’m fine. Thanks for the ice cream, it's good!” He put his happy voice back on and shoved more in his mouth. He thought about how much he could fit at once before swallowing so he took bigger bites. 

“I’m… sorry your mom wasn’t good to you. I’m extra sorry your dad was…” she sighed. “I guess adults really let you down a lot. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged and swallowed back his huge mouthful of ice cream. And then he felt the brain freeze and cupped his head. “Auuuugh there it is! Brain freeze!”

She hummed a laugh and rubbed his shell. “You’re trying to avoid talking. You wanna seem like a happy normal kid don’t you? You’re putting on an act.”

That hurt more than the brain freeze.

He groaned and kept holding his head as it passed, she was holding him to distract from the hurt in his brain.

“How do you know I’m acting! Maybe I’m just immature!”

“Maybe. But maybe you know you’re hurting and you don’t wanna make it my problem for some reason.”

He furrowed his brow and looked away.

“Is it cuz you think I’m like your kid? Cuz really… I really don’t see me like that Mikey…”

“No, it’s not that..” he sighed. He wasn’t sure what it was. He’d been able to talk to Donnie, he’d wanted to talk to Leo. But Jennika was actually asking him how he felt and he could only sit there thinking of ways to seem like he was a baby again. Ways to try and seem normal, like a good kid brother who makes her want to take care of him normally, so he wouldn’t scare her off, or traumatize her!

Oh…

“It’s cuz you make me think of Raph…”

She took a deep breath and nodded knowingly, sighing.

“You don’t talk to him about how you feel. You just go baby made. So you wanna do that with me too.”

“I’m sorry… I’ve got issues. People think I don’t but…” he sighed. “I don’t know..”

She patted his back. “I'm not Raph. I’m not your mom. I’m your cooool big sister! And I know you’ve got issues, I’m open, I’m here. Hit me.”

He looked up at her nervously.

“I…” he looked around. It was really empty here. He decided to lay his head in her lap. “Is this okay..?”

He felt her hand gently stroke his head. “Yeah, that’s okay..”

He took a few deep breaths. “I keep thinking about the cages… about.. what happened. I’m really embarrassed about it, and ashamed of myself… it’s stupid cuz I know it’s not my fault, but the.. specifics of what hurt me was all related to this..” he sighed and closed his eyes. “Weird relationship I have with him, where I try to let him be my mom cuz I never had one. And maybe it’s cuz he’s female and I imprinted on him as a baby, or maybe it’s just cuz I was so small and he was so worried about me.. but the… the mixing of these two things in my head, the 'mama Raph' and the fact I….” He felt tears rolling down his cheeks and he sobbed audibly. It was getting uncontrollable.

She just rubbed his head. He heard her sniff but didn’t look up. He just let her pet him and tried to collect himself.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t… know what to do, I know you’re not… but I’d never even seen my body before my dad made me use it against my will, a-and so I’m just.. b-back to baby mode, h-hoping I never grow up and have to think about it again…”

“God… Mikey I’m fucking sorry, that sounds like so much…” she was probably crying but kept petting him. He wasn’t sure how to respond now. “I… I think it sounds like you know you shouldn’t do that. That you’re like… pushing stuff down to make yourself seem okay. I think maybe you wanna be worried about normally just so you feel normal, maybe that’s why you’re acting like that…” he chanced a look up at her. She might have looked like him, but the way she was crying over him made her look like Raph. So he was crying in her lap quietly.

He looked away and clutched the fabric of her pants. “I’m.. not trying to act out… I just really don’t want these grown up problems, I-I wanna worry about stupid stuff, n-not wake up with my thing out cuz I h-had a nightmare…”

She took a deep shaky breath and blew it out slowly. “We don’t get to choose to not grow up. I know why you want to? But look at me. If I could have stayed a kid forever I probably would have. I hated puberty. Being a grown up sucks. But you can’t stop it. And you’ve gotten forced into the worst thing, but it doesn’t make you grown up, it just.. means you have to deal with something complicated. I... think ignoring that kinda problem won’t make it go away, and if you need to talk to someone about.. all that gross complicated stuff you’re scared of, I’m here. I’ve had lots of weird feelings over the years, going from like.. weapon to person, boy to girl.. you can tell me more if you want. Maybe I’ll get it.”

Mikey sat up and wiped his eyes. “I.. I haven’t even been asking about you, I’m so sorry Jennika…”

She smiled sadly and draped her arm over his shoulder, pulling him close and giving him a gentle shake. “No, it’s fine! You’re having a bad day. I wanna help with that, don’t worry about me at all.”

He looked up at her sadly, pressing his head against her chest.

“I-it’s weird.. if I’m not your dad, that probably means Raph’s not your mom right..?”

She sighed and looked at the lake. “No… he’s not. It’s kinda complicated, cuz there’s a piece of my heart that still.. I dunno, craves a mom? So that’s why I was so weird when he called me beautiful… but he’s not, he’s my brother just like you are.”

He looked over at the lake. “Is it weird that I think of him as my mom..?”

“No… Not at all, I get it. He’s been your caretaker, and he likes doing that.”

Mikey nodded slowly. “Then.. you get why its… fucking with my head that I’ll dream about the cage, and wake up like that.. why I feel sick to my stomach about it…”

“God, yeah I get that… I would be scared.”

“And I can’t cry to him about it, cuz it’s about him…”

She nodded slowly. “And that would make it worse.. yeah. I’m sorry Mikey…” she rubbed his shoulder. “Okay.. so this will be weird no matter what, but like.. you had the bird and bees talk? And any other talks about your body and stuff..?”

He looked up at her and shrugged sadly. “How much talk needed? We already made you.. think I get where babies come from…”

She looked down at him sadly and then gently rubbed his head. “Oh.. buddy that doesn’t mean you know everything. Did Splinter never…?”

He looked away. “Maybe she tried. Maybe I ran away. I don’t know, I don’t remember…”

She nodded and kept rubbing his head. “Okay. Let’s jump past babies and stuff. I think what you’re describing is like a sex dream, and it’s one you’re having cuz you got forced into it. A trauma dream, making you relive the only time you’ve ever felt arousal. You can’t control it, it's not your fault, it’s a natural response. It doesn’t mean you actually feel aroused by Raph, that you actually want him like that. It’s… ugh I’m sorry. Consent is a better place to maybe start this. Consent and body autonomy and finding a partner you trust…?” She shifted a little.

He looked up. She seemed a little frustrated that she couldn’t find the words.

He sighed and idly squeezed her knee. “I know what you’re trying to say. That I was raped. That I raped Raph but I didn’t, that he raped me but he didnt… dad raped us. Used us to rape each other. I… I know that.”

She looked down at him sadly, clearly sad about how much he was using the word. But he should be allowed to say it over and over again!

“Yeah…”

“I’m too young for sex. I don’t want a sex partner or whatever. I don’t want to have to worry about that, but I’m scared that I’m…” he keeled over and started crying out of nowhere. “I-I think maybe when I was little dad raped me too..? W-when Lita.. I-I can’t remember it… sh-she said I saw something I w-wasn’t supposed to… sh-she seemed so fucking sorry… a-and that’s all I’ve been thinking about for a week… a-and nobody cares!”

Jennika gently shook him and she was crying too. “I care! Fuck Mikey I care so much, I’m so fucking sorry!”

“E-everyone’s been tiptoeing around it! L-like around Raph! A-and maybe I wanted to go to therapy and talk about it! T-talk to Lita! Get more information! B-but there was the… th-the YOU situation! A-and he was traumatized enough! A-and now Big Mama is evil and I-I can’t!”

She took a deep shaky break and wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in her lap for a hug. He let her as he sobbed against her chest. “We don’t need her to do that. We can figure it out without her, we can find ways of dealing with it. God Mikey you’ve been so fucking… I’m sorry. Everything is so fucked up but I fucking promise you that’s my priority okay? We’re gonna help you with that.”

Mikey was clinging to her shirt and sobbing into it. He nodded miserably as he cried. “I-I’m sorry.. I-I keep forgetting t-to bring it up c-cuz I only I-learned about it when y-you were b-born! B-but that was like a week ago! A-and that’s its whole own thing! A-and I’m too fucked up t-to think about it!”

She held him tight and pressed her head against his.

“Fuck… you’ve been keeping so much in there…” She pulled back to cup his cheeks in her hands and smile determined at him, tears still freely falling down her face. He sniffled and shook as he looked back at her. “You don’t need to worry about any of this other stuff. No villains no brothers no fucking weird turtles coming back from the future. Your priority is Mikey. And so’s mine. We’re gonna figure it out. You and me. We’re gonna talk it out one step at a time together. Anything you fucking need I’m here, okay?”

He put his hands on hers, he was struggling to breathe through the crying. This wasn’t his usual crying, he felt fucking broken. His whole body hurt from how hard he was crying.

And it felt good. To fucking scream and yell and cry about how miserable he REALLY was, and to feel seen for it. To feel cared for about it.

So he shakily nodded and kept crying in her face.

She held him again. This wasn’t like how Raph would make him feel at all, this wasn’t a mom thing. This wasn’t a ‘push my feelings down and pretend you’re normal’ upset thing. This was just a sibling really fucking seeing him and letting him be as big of a wreck as he needed. Someone he wasn’t scared of making the problems worse of.

Maybe she was exactly what he needed right now.

[lunarleonardo]

Hiiii lunarr hope ur day has been well

I'm not sure if this has been asked before but I was wondering if there are any ao3 fics that you'd recommend to your readers? Or just any of ur favourites you'd like to share loll any fandom is cool too doesn't have to be danganronpa

Thanks!!!!!

Hii! ♪ヽ(´▽｀)/ I hope your day has been going well too!

There are a few fics I absolutely adore, but... a lot of them aren't Danganronpa fics :( I think that's mostly since a lot of them just haven't really caught my eye, hence the nonsense I put so much effort into writing, but I can share the ones I have read and enjoyed! :D

COMPLETE FICS

Okay so the first one here isn't necessarily a single fic. rather, it's a series! Child Actor Shuichi by TheBrightSilverLining ^_^ I adopted the aroace Rantaro headcanon from this lol. It covers some darker themes mainly related to child abuse so do proceed with caution!! But it is hurt/comfort, non-despair, its primary ship is Saiouma, and also Kaede almost blows up the kitchen so that's always a win in my books :) i also dont know if this is actually complete or not but it hasnt been updated since 2022 so..

Second one! I stayed up until 6am to finish reading this and it was 100% worth it I lost my near damn mind. Ultimates by SeashellCosmos. Now I haven't gotten around to reading the other two installments in the series, which I have been...meaning to do..... This is a DR1 centered fic where everyone has superpowers! :D I actually had a bit of a similar idea with DRV3 prior to reading this, so I was ECSTATIC to find this absolute GEM!! Other people as insane as I am!!! (*^▽^)/★*☆♪

Fantasy/Dragon AU. Wings and Scales by DraconicSparkle. i really really really really really really like dragons O_O I've been wanting to write a dragonfic for myself.... goodness I need to reread this fic. But from what I do remember, I was constantly going :O irl and I recall loving the dynamic of Kaito, Maki and Shuichi in this, even if they werent the main focus ^^

This one isn't a DR fic. Instead, it's a My Hero Academia one! When Realities Collide by LowlyWriter :3 I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how many times I've reread this one ゜゜(´O｀)°゜The first ever fic I read on ao3 was one about the same character from different realities meeting so this was so so awesome to read and hdbekdksjekfje AAGWHHH!!!! AAGGHUQI

INCOMPLETE FICS :(

the first one here is one that altered my brain chemistry and i have never been normal since the day I clicked on this. Hoarding Humans by Mycorrhizae. it only has 3 chapters. Saiouma, fantasy au. Kokichi is a dragon and that is SO fucking sick?? I love dragons?? It is a fairly lighthearted and easy to reread. The author did state it was "mostly a crack fic" :p so take that how you will lol

Post-game SDR2 Nagito-centered fic, wearing your heart on the tip of your tongue by PurePun. I've reread this a few times now because it has such a nice mix of typical danganronpa insanity and it's just. So funny sometimes. I wish it was socially acceptable to do what Nagito does in this fic it would cut all of the misunderstandings in my life down to 5%. It's also just really nice to see Nagito get along with everyone more or less xD

I can also take this opportunity to say ... I do have other fics planned. I have this one in mind that'll, for once, include the ENTIRE drv3 cast for the whole thing, so that'll be fun! :D I also really want to write a Saimatsu fic, but i've been very saiouma brained and I'm currently focused on HGH. saimatsu mansion will be real someday... maybe. there are other ideas rattling around in my brain but we'd be here forever if i tried to explain it and thats not what this post is about

those are the first ones that came to mind and the safest for me to share because i'm not sure how ready you guys are for the deeper things in my library XD

okay my hand. hurts. so i need to let it rest so i can cook dinner xD Happy fic reading everybody!! If you have any fic recs please. don't be afraid to share. i am starving

[misc-obeyme]

my favorite theory re: why does barbatos hate solomon he would not be that mad about the list (at most a little passive aggressive about it next time he saw him) is that past!solomon knows nightbringer (or is nightbringer????) (has a pact with nightbringer if they're a demon????????) and used his pact to make barbatos take mc back to the past. i think future!solomon has had his memory erased of all this, possibly in relation to his reconciliation with barbatos. past!barbatos might feel taken betrayed which could also sorta explain why he used the list as an excuse in that he doesn't feel respected or acknowledged. more to the point though, this would also mean past!solomon had made barbatos break his promise with diavolo to not use his powers over time, which i feel would definitely be reason enough for him to be as angry as he is, especially if past!solomon had also prevented him from just talking to future!solomon about it

idk i might have explained this badly. i am behind in the storyline for nb so i might be missing stuff but i just don't think he'd be that genuinely angry for that long over something that petty. unless he had been cursed. which could also be an interesting subplot!

i dont think either of these will actually happen but its what makes sense to me and i think it could be interesting. idk idk lmao

Well hello there friend!!

OKAY BUT YES I also really like the idea that the reason Barb is angry at Solomon is that it is past!Solomon who forced Barb to do something he didn't want to do, such as sending MC back to the past!

I have a whole theory about past!Solomon, but basically it's just suspicious to me that we never run into him. And I really felt like that part where Solomon summons Barbatos in the labyrinth was meant to show us that Solomon can force Barb to do things he doesn't want to do. Why show us that otherwise? And when Solomon did that, Barbatos was pissed. Like even more pissed than he usually is.

I didn't even realize this would also mean Barb would have broken his promise to Diavolo, but you're right and that feels like an actual in character reason for him to be upset!

And future!Solomon clearly has no idea what's going on, which is why everything doesn't make sense to him.

And possibly Barbatos is aware of what's happening with the different Solomons, but he can't say it to him directly, so he makes up something about the list on the spot because MC asked about it.

You didn't explain it badly at all, I am right there with you!! I think there's something else going on and although I haven't talked about two Solomons theory in a while, I still think that could be part of the issue! We got past!Solomon causing trouble while potentially being under the command of Nightbringer and we have future!Solomon being completely confused because he doesn't even remember what's happening.

It would be interesting if it came down to a curse, too, though. Who put the curse on Barb? Why? How?? etc!

I just can't get behind the list being the real reason. If they never talk about it again, I'm just gonna go with my own ideas and forget about canon because that's what I do when I don't like what happens lol.