#im just sleepy tired but maybe ill try at it since i should probably really practice mote and open comms again

[sucktacular]

Been a lil afk I feel like this past week so jsyk I still love y'all dearly and hope you've had a good start to the week so far!!! 💕🫂💕

[prettyboykatsuki]

»» — {♡} —— { ♡ } —— {♡} — ««

comforting sleep deprived s/o | bnha

➳ incld  ;; bakugo and kirishima 

➳ warnings ;; none, just fluff, pro-hero!au 

➳ wc ;; 1.8k overall. 

➳ a/n ;; i haven’t slept properly in days. running on empty so this is how im coping. i love them. 

»» — {♡} —— { ♡ } —— {♡} — ««

i. bakugo katsuki 

- doesn’t like napping cause he insists on keeping his sleep schedule tight. not that you can really get mad at him over that - hero work is busy and he doesn’t like being tired cause it makes him more aggravated than usual. 

- so he avoids naps almost at all costs and rarely gets tired. his sleep schedule is really, really good. 

- not so much the same for you though. 

- bakugo accepted pretty early on that you were something of a night-owl. bad sleep anxiety and just generally having too much energy at night made it so that he rarely ever saw you go to bed. you were at least lagging a few hours behind him like. at all times. 

- he didn’t really mind at first, but at some point he realized just how little sleep you actually got. one time he woke up at 7am, surprised to see you also awake - only to find out you hadn’t slept the entire night. 

- he was pissed. after almost blowing up your kitchen, he sighed and basically told you that if you need helping sleeping to just “fucking ask him” or else. 

- needless to say, it didn’t get that much better. you two compromised by setting a time that you had to be in bed by, even if you weren’t asleep. whenever bakugo has time, he’s always trying to get you to rest but sometimes his schedule doesn’t really allow him to check up on you how he likes. 

- he’s coming home from a long mission. not super tired but just tedious work. he just wanted to relax. it was late, 3:37am on the clock when he finally walks in. 

- to his surprise - there’s a light on in the kitchen. when he walks in, very confused, he sees you sliding cookies off of a sheetpan into a little plastic tupperware. he stops. he stares. 

- why the hell were you baking at three in the fucking morning 

- “what the fuck are you doing awake?”

- you jump back with a hand over your chest, barely catching your breath. you blink a few times before sighing. 

- “baking. i didn’t think you’d be home so soon” 

- he hears it before he sees it. your voice is absolutely tattered - he can literally hear how exhausted you are. he pumps the breaks, walking towards you swiftly before staring down at you hard. 

- “when was the last time you slept,” 

- you press your lips into a tight smile, and he sees the dark purple under your eyes. he feel his heart hurt a little. his hands come up to your face as he brushes his thumb every so slightly against your lashes. 

- “it’s uh.. hard to sleep without you. more than usual, you know” 

- “Y/N” 

- “i don’t know. maybe two or three days ago properly? i mean i got some sleep in between but -,” 

- he stops you before you can start. he shuts the cookie container and leaves the tray in the sink before grabbing your hand a little forcefully and tugs you to the bathroom - lifting you up onto the counter. you know to stay put. 

- when he comes back it’s with a fresh change of clothes for the both of you. you blink at him owlishly as he strips himself off of his clothes - grateful he took time to shower at the agency. 

- he takes his shirt off and then takes yours off too, before pulling you right towards him. your arms instantly are around his neck, the warmth of his body pressed against your figure with his chin tucked over your shoulder. 

- and god - he’s so comforting you kind of want to cry. he smells like clean soap and deodorant and a little like smoke. feeling his skin against yours makes you feel instant relief. just hugging in the bathroom has you falling half asleep. you were just so tired. 

- when he pulls back, his whole face looks so damn worried it makes you want to cry. you put your own hands on his face and cheek, brushing your thumb on his cheek bone as he rests his forehead on yours. 

- “dumbasss. i can leave something with you if it’s that bad - fuck, you could’ve called me, you know?” 

- and you sigh and smile and kiss him a bit before pulling away again. man, you’re tired. you’re so, so tired. 

- “yeah.. i know,” 

- he helps you get undressed and freshened up, even rubs your facewash into your skin and rubs all your skincare in before hauling you off the bed. he turns the lights dim and just holds you, rubbing circles into your back as he holds you right to his chest. 

- “go to fucking sleep,” “love you katsuki” “..love you too” 

- he doesn’t sleep until you do, and wakes up the next morning to call in sick for you while you sleep against his chest. he should probably wake up but.. sleeping a bit longer won’t kill him. 

{♡} —— { ♡ } —— {♡}

ii. kirishima eijirou 

- kirishima likes to wake up pretty early so he can workout and do his cardio at the start of his day and his weightlifting later on. sleeping well is important to him cause his workout routine is super unforgiving if he’s not resting properly on rest days and the like. building muscles absolutely requires sleep! 

- that being said - he doesn’t mind not sleeping early if he has something to do. drinking especially normally keeps him up on weekends. overall, it was good but he doesn’t limit himself. 

- overall, it’s not something he paid a ton of attention too. life is all about balance so kiri goes with the flow. his rule of thumb is trying to get at least 8 hours a night tho. 

- but because kirishima is so go with the flow - it took him a long time to figure out that you were a night owl and something of an insomniac. he assumed that when he wished you goodnight everday, you fell asleep around the same time as him. 

- but one drunken even, he finds himself stumbling to your apartment. knocking on your and barely standing upright - he immediately is planning on apologizing for disturbing your sleep. 

- but then you.. open the door and you’re literally wide awake. you look tired but you’re clearly not sleepy. kirishima, once gain, blasted - pushes the thoughts to the back of his mind and grins toothily. he’s just excited to see you at that point and forgets about the whole ordeal until a few weeks later. 

- he ends up texting you about it a couple weeks later, assuming it’d be a once off thing that you’d explain to him. 

- ... is upset and shocked to learn that you rarely, if ever fall asleep before two am like on a good day. poor man is in shock for the rest of the day and proceeds to ask you about why you have a hard time to sleeping to try and see what he can do. 

- he wants to help but you just keep brushing it off and it honestly made him so upset he didn’t know what to do with himself. he couldn’t sleep a wink that night because the whole thing is bothering him so damn much. 

- what really sets him off is when he finally has a chance to see you after a few weeks. you were busy with uni and didn’t really have a ton of time to see him so the two of you couldn’t see each other properly for a few weeks. 

- he’s elated to see you. he’s missed his baby so much and he’s pulling all the stops out when he’s getting dressed. jeans cuffed, his best cologne, fresh shaved, brand new sneakers. he really wants to impress. 

- he’s wrapping you up into the tightest hug when he see’s you. your dressed comfortably but he still thinks you look so beautiful and he’s complimenting you, giving you kisses and overall just doting on you. he wraps your hand in his yours and just talks. 

- in fact, he’s so excited to see you, he doesn’t notice how..deflated you are. not at first anyways. 

- but as the date goes on, it becomes more and more obvious you don’t share his enthusiasm in the same way. 

- sure, he’s talkative but you haven’t said a word about how your week has been. all of his jokes have been met with mere huffs and forced chuckles and your eyes seem really distant. 

- it hits him all at once at the end of your date when you just seem so... out of it. he’s about to take you somewhere else but you stopped listening a while ago. kirishima stops dead in his tracks and holds your hand nervously, calling you a few times to get your attention. 

- “Y/N.. are you mad at me? is something wrong?” 

- your eyes go wide, flailing your hands to reassure him. you knew you were acting strange but to see kirishima this upset makes you feel awful. 

- “oh kiri - god no, it’s not you. sorry for being so.. distant - it’s not you,” 

- “well then.. what’s wrong?” 

- kirishima feels his heart get pierced when he sees you laugh. you look... so exhausted. your eyes are so heavy and the makeup on your skin is only barely concealing your dark circles. why did it take him so long to notice? 

- before he can even reply, he remembers that little tidbit about your sleep schedule. his heart so genuinely aches. 

- “Y/N.. when was the last time you got any proper sleep?” 

- you flinch, visibly at the question. with an awkward laugh you inform him that it had been at least a week since you’ve had the time to actually sleep. 

- “why didn’t you sleep today? on your day off?” 

- “i uhm.. wanted to see you. i know you had a date planned and i was excited to see you. sorry for.. ruining your plans” 

- he’s devastated by how cute you are. hugs you so damn tight. 

- “baby, you can see me whenever. im happy being with you even if all we’re doing is napping together” 

- when you mumble a soft “oh” in his chest, he can’t help but melt into a sigh. before you can protest, he’s dragging you back to his car and driving you home ignores your protests and buckles you, covering you with his jacket before kissing the crown of your head and telling you to sleep on the way back to his place. 

- he watches you like a hawk the whole time until he arrives at his place. he wakes you up and carries you on his back until he gets inside. all he does is kick his shoes off before pulling the full weight of you down on his body, kissing your whole face. 

- “sleep well baby. ill wake you up in a few” 

»» — {♡} —— { ♡ } —— {♡} — ««

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

[voidsfanficfortress]

Snowed In In Your Heart

It was snowing,dead silence,not even a machine making noise, however, inside a little cabin, life dwelled inside, smaller machines were making a pillowfort, as a human made a warm drink.

The Fire cracked slightly, the flame moving as if it was dancing.Slow feet drag themselves along the livingroom, and sit in the couch-like furniture, the girl takes a sip, watching the fireplace as the warmth of it hits her skin,a sigh of relief comes out and the machines around her purr, its a calm evening in the banuk territory.

The girl was an engenieer, she liked to tinker with machines , making them, even, and the ones she created, were docile, and calm, usually helping around the house, and going with her on patrol.

The area she lived had a lot of Rivers and ponds,frozen by now,and it was a shortcut to The Cut, and the main place of Aratak's werak, her job is to take care of the area, make sure no-one suspicious entered and help lost wanderers.

But now, nothing comes up on the radar she installed around the thin Ice ponds, no heat signal on any screen, finally she could relax, sleep and maybe invent something...

But no..., SOMEBODY had to get lost in the middle of the forest.

The girl sighs, and grabs her thick furcoat, giving a last long sip to her drink, the wolves behind her make a mechanic whine and follow her , they place themselves on the reins in the mechanical sled and walk, pushing it behind them in case the person lost is injured.

Eventually they arrive where the scanner indicated, a tall and dark skinned Man rans towards her, trying not to freeze.

-Finally someone!- the Man says as he rubs his hands on his arms, trying to warm himself- we Need to get the fuck out before a blizzard comes-

'Not even a thank you, okay. Rude' the girl thinks,as she leads the Man to the sled, he sits and the wolves push foward ,she takes the wolves back to the cabin, with a bit of luck, her drink might still be warm

-What were you doing in there?, nobody uses that shortcut anymore-

-One, Id Like the name of my saviour, second, whatever I was doing there is non of your bussines-

The woman sighs and nodds, grabbing the drink.

-My name, Is Jericho, - she sits in the couch with an eyebrow raised- I guess you wont tell me your name either , since is none of my business..-

The Man sighs and sits near the fireplace, warming his body.

-My name, Is Sylens-he says looking at jericho- thought Aratak have already mentioned me-

-he is a Man who speaks few words,and besides- the banuk woman says- I live far from aratak's werak , but he pays me in metal shards and leftovers of machines he hunts, I dont care what he does , ill stay here in this area anyway, nobody disturbs me and im okay with it-

Sylens hums in agreement and looks at the wolf-like machines, one of them sits in his lap, and he cant help but pet them.

-You made them?- the Man asks

-Now see-jericho says with a smug smile on her face- I could say that Is none of your business ,BUT im a good person so I will answer your question- sylens rolls his eyes and his face contorns into a small smile- yes, I made them myself, I am both an engenieer and a tinkerer of sorts-

-Well...these are...just amazing, im impressed-

Jericho chuckles and drinks the last of her drink.

-Alright misterious stranger , I suspect the blizzard Will start anytime soon-she stands up, and locks the door of the cabin,she hears her companion chuckle under his breath- we Will probably get snowed in, since the snow here covers most of the entrance, and Judging from what I can see out the Window , its going to be a bad one-

'Are you serious?, I have to get trough the cut as soon as possible!' Sylens complains inside his head, but outside he nodds.

-So ill have to stay here until the blizzard stops, good, now,how much does a blizzard last around here-

Jericho bits her Lip,knowing that those types of storms can last a bit too long.

-Well...two to three weeks almost, maybe two and a half if youre lucky-

- you must be kidding!-sylens stands up, and looks at her- I got to get trough the cut in less than a week!, dont you have any type of gizmo that can help me get there faster?-

The banuk woman shakes her head.

-I too have bussines in the Cut but they Will have to wait, im sorry sylens..., you'll have to stay here until the storm goes away-The Man sighs.-luckily for you, I have a spare bed, come, over here-

They walk around the cabin, it goes into the mountain just behind it, and there is the spare room.

-Make yourself comfortable,if its too cold use one of the fur covers over there- she point at a couple of furs hanging- I havent figured how to install a fireplace here so, that Will have to do-

Sylens nodds and gets to unpack some of his stuff.

{...}

After dinner, both share a goodnight and they go to their beds.

In the night, sylens shifts and trashes around this bed.

Its too cold.

He sighs in defeat, dragging himself along the corridos of the house, arriving at the livingroom, where jericho was, the place was way warmer than his room, the fireplace illuminates the woman's features, a Pointy nose, thin lips and a few strands of dark chocolate hair , losely resting around her face.

He feels his cheeks getting warmer.

No, he couldnt be blushing, he never blushes.

Hell, he was sure he is allergic to human emotions!.

But he Will admit he misses the kindness of others, and Jericho had a lot of it, and not just that, she is sarcastic and funny, and really clever.

Just for once, he pushes that cold demeanor to the back of his head.

The woman shifts , facing the wall.Sylens goes and lays down Next to her, covering himself with the fur, still looking at the fireplace.

A lot of thoughts ran over in his mind.

What the hell is he doing laying down Next to her?.

He should be looking for a way to get trough the Cut as soon as possible!.

But living the moment doesnt feel extremely bad.

He never relaxes or takes a break, always on the run.

-Too cold back there?- a half-asleep voice says.

Sylens snaps out of it.

-if it makes you unconfortable ill leave right away--

A pair of arms hug him from behind, and a face rests in the crook of his neck.

-No no,stay, its okay,I dont mind-

He gets what shes trying to do, reduce heat loss but...his cheeks go absolutely red, thank god she cant see it.

His body scoots closer to jericho's chest, the warm of her body makes him quickly feel sleepy and tired, and before he closes his eyes he sees the both of them holding hands.

But he doesnt have time to complain, he's about to fall asleep.

And maybe it isnt such a Bad idea...

{...}

-void

[ikonprobably]

Take Care of My Girlfriend

Band Member: Kim Hanbin, Kim Jiwon ft. the rest of iKon

Genre: Angst

Summary:  After dating for a couple of years and having found both of you and Jiwon both unhappy you both decided to end the relationship.

Word Count: 1636

A/N: Hello everyone! This is a 3 part story, I am going to post the 2nd part of the story in 24 hours, and the 3rd part in 48 hours anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Pt 2 | Pt 3

-

It was tiring in a sense, trying to pretend everything is okay with your current boyfriend, Kim Jiwon. You two had been dating for almost 2 years, and Jiwon had feelings for you for quite some time, but you seemed oblivious to recognize his feelings the year before, until you found him in the light of the darkness that you were stuck in after failing out of college, and a recent break up from your previous boyfriend. At first you thought that Jiwon was just a rebound but after you two had been dating for more than a year, you knew that those accusations of yourself had to be false.

You had stepped into the dorm of the boys, looking at them all with a small smile before trying to ignore the fact that you and Jiwon had just been into a fight. You kept a small smile on your face. “Hey guys.” You waived before looking down on the ground. “I just came to get my stuff that I left here last night.” You informed them before walking back to Jiwon’s room. You had planned on staying the night, but you ended up leaving in the middle of the night because one of your friends got drunk and needed a ride home, so you had to leave in a hurry before they decided to try anything stupid. You knew as soon as you left the dorm that the moment you got into contact with your boyfriend again there would be issues, it wasn’t that he didn’t trust you, he just knew that your feelings had been fading, and you stopped talking to him about everything as you used to do.

You hated to admit it, you loved him, but you just weren’t sure if you could be in a relationship with him, no matter what you did it caused a fight. Everything he did also seemed to piss you off and you couldn’t help it but you also initiated a lot of the fights. It wasn’t all just one sided, you were considering talking to him about the future of your relationship but the thought of it brought a lump in your throat and tears to your eyes. You couldn’t bear the thought of Jiwon finding someone else, but you knew that he deserved better than what you two had.

Stepping into the room, you found it to be cleaner than what it was last night, and a bouquet of roses on the bed with a card laying next to it. You hesitated before stepping toward the card curious as to who could be leaving him flowers, especially in this manner, you couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Of course, that was before you seen who the card was addressed to. It seemed that he had knew you were coming over that day despite being out of the dormitory with schedules all day. Opening the card you read the contents inside.

“Hey Babe…

Y/N.

I love you, and I’m sorry for everything, everything that has been going on between us has

been a mess, and I just want to make it better for the both of us. Please meet me at our

coffee shop. I have something I want to tell you there.”

A smile grew on your face, you thought that maybe if he was willing to talk to you that you both could start of on a new foot. Things would hopefully be better.

“I feel like I should warn you.” A voice had interrupted your thoughts, and you quickly turned around to see the leader of iKon standing there. “Bobby, talked to me last night after you two got into a fight.” He continued not waiting for an answer from you.

“Wait- Hanbin.” You said quickly before he could say anything else. You were afraid of what he had to say, you were afraid that maybe if you would listen to him you would hear that Jiwon didn’t want to continue the relationship with you. Which of course you knew would be for the better, you couldn’t continue the relationship that wasn’t making him happy.

“Y/N…” His voice began trailing off, and with that you knew that it was even difficult for him to admit, you and Bobby had both been his friend for a long time, obviously Bobby was his friend first but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about you any less. “I know that you two have been fighting for a while.” He said walking towards you, sitting down on the bed, asking for you to follow suit and gave a soft smile when you did.

“We are fine, Hanbin.” You mumbled not wanting to talk too much about the situation you two had been in, but you know that Bobby had already mentioned it to Hanbin many times with how close the two were.

“Why do you continue to lie, even the others noticed that you were upset when you walked in. You can’t keep continuing like this. You deserve to be happy. Bobby deserves to be happy. Please you both need to stop doing this to each other, and I know that you know that yourself.”

He had a point you couldn’t continue to hide it anymore than you already had, it was hard to even smile at the other members, and you could tell that sometimes they felt the tension between you and Jiwon. You let out a soft sigh before standing up. “Well, I’m going to meet him…” You hesitated to move for a second, trying to build up the courage. “I guess this is goodbye to you as well.” You said before walking out of the room, and out the dorm for what seemed to be the last time, you knew that you had to end it with Jiwon, you couldn’t pretend that things could be better between the two of you, and even if you were to try and make things better it would be like the attempts before, and you would end up back in the same situation.

Arriving at the coffee shop you seen Jiwon’s face, his expression seemed blank and you couldn’t help but feel the lump in your throat. Stepping towards the male you looked around the coffee shop, feeling like everyone inside was staring knowing that something was about to happen, but you knew in the back of your mind that they could care less.

“Y/N.” Jiwon finally said a small smile on his face, and you sat down in the chair across from him.

“Jiwon, I-”

“I know.” Jiwon cut you off before you could even say anything. You looked up, your hands beginning to fiddle with each other out of nervousness.

“Is it worth it?” You asked keeping your voice soft, and trying to save the tears for when you went home that night.

“Is what worth it? Our happiness?” Jiwon asked not really sure what you were asking about. “Look, Y/N. I love you, I have loved you for a long time and I don’t think that I will ever stop loving you. Maybe at another time we will be a better match for each other whether it is in another life or in the future but I don’t think we can continue on the way we are going.” He said looking at you in the eyes, knowing that this was difficult for the both of you. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I know this is something we both thought about for a while and we have been avoiding it for as long as we could, but now is the time to address it.” He continued and you nodded your head.

You always imagined this scenario in your head, and you had more to say, but finding yourself in the actual situation it was a lot harder to find something to say. “I know, and I’m sorry.” You finally found the courage to say something.

“Why are you sorry? We both are guilty of the crime. But I think this should be good bye for the both of us.” He said standing up from the table, leaning over to kiss your forehead before leaving the coffee shop without another word said.

-

It had been a couple of weeks since the break up between you and Jiwon, and you found yourself at a club by yourself. You couldn’t be sure on how many drinks you had, but you knew that if you stayed there any longer you would probably find yourself going home with a stranger, and even when you were drunk out of your mind you knew that wasn’t something sober you would appreciate much.

You picked up your phone dialing the first number  that popped in your head, it was a friend of yours, one that has been checking up on you once in a while to see if you had been doing well after the break up. Waiting for the other to answer the phone you shook your leg nervously.

“Hello?” You heard a horse, sleepy voice on the other side of the phone.

“Uhm, can you come get me, I’m at the club and I need a ride home.” You asked the person, you figured you would save the apology for when they came to pick you up.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” You heard the other person let out a sigh and hang up the phone.

You pulled the phone away from your ear looking at it for a moment, before shoving it back in your purse and stumbling outside to feel the cool night air on your skin. By the time you stepped outside it wasn’t long before you seen a car pulling up, and the one you called getting out of the car.

[kooksnoodle]

Mom-Friend

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Summary: Namjoon has always been a close friend of yours, he was the mom friend for your childish ways. Everything was great until Namjoon started talking to people more ‘mature’ making things a bit more clear to the both of you.

Genre: friends to lovers, school au, fluff/angst

Everyday, before class, Namjoon and you had a spot. It was the 3rd bench from the left, outside of the school. And there you were, the 3rd bench from the left, alone. You frowned. Namjoon was usually here before you, and you’re left waiting for him.

Looking around to see all the students walking around, you looked for Namjoon. “I have to tell him about what happened with my date.” You said getting flashbacks of your miserable date you had the night before.

It was fine. The date was okay, but the boy left and you had to pay. You were lucky to bring your wallet, but the point was, you knew Namjoon would help you out. How? No one knows. Namjoon was just the answer to everything.

“(Y/n).” You look up to see the boy standing in front of you. “Sorry. Did you wait long?” He asked worried. “Did your date go well?” Namjoon asked sitting down next to you, letting you lay your head on his shoulder.

“He made me pay the whole bill.” You said quietly making Namjoon raise an eyebrow. “Then, he told me he had a girlfriend.”

Namjoon made a face. “What.” Was the only thing he said leading to a silence. “Who would do such a thing? You have to be careful! There’s so many people like that who trick you, and you never know it! You have to think before you do-“ Namjoon stops and sighs. “Don’t date. No one wants a child.”

A child. You sat up and glared at Namjoon. “I am not a child.”

Namjoon rose an eyebrow. “I always have to come over when your parents are out just to cook for you. Everyday I check if you’re taking care of yourself. You’re basically a child.”

You got up and stubbornly pout. “I don’t!” You said leaving Namjoon to go to your class.

As you walked to your class, you thought. Why was Namjoon late anyway? You forgot to ask him. You only told him about your date and left. “Excuse me.” A girl says stopping from walking and thinking. Pretty. “Can you help me around?” She asked smiling. “I’m Dalhee.”

-

The girl came with you all day, and you two got along okay. Even though you two didn’t know anything about each other, you made it through half of the day with her. “Namjoon!” You called waving with Dalhee next to you. “Let’s go.” You said to her before going to Namjoon.

The three of you sat at the spot you and Namjoon sit at. “(Y/n). Did you forget your lunch..?” Namjoon said looking through your bag.

You smiled awkwardly while Dalhee gave a confused look. “I forget my lunch for today.” You said making Namjoon sigh. “It’s okay! I’m on a diet.” You said giving him a thumbs up.

“It’s not that hard (Y/n). You always have food ready in the fridge. All you have to do is take it.”

“It’s okay! I’m on a diet. I just told-“

“Look. I made food for you and you-“

“You cook?” Dalhee said interrupting Namjoon. Namjoon looked at her and blushed. “That’s really cool. I cook too, but I never met a guy who liked cooking.” She said smiling.

Namjoon’s face was red. You rose an eyebrow and watched the two of them talk about cooking. They talked about other things they can do while you just... sat there. Not even eating, because you had no lunch. “I’ll get water.” You said to them getting up to the vending machine. They didn’t even notice you!

Were you mad? Yes. You took out coins from your pocket to put into the machine. Were you mad that you’re not the center of attention?... Gosh. Maybe you were a kid.

You went back to the spot and saw Namjoon out his number into Dalhee’s phone. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a normal conversation. I spend most of my time yelling at (Y/n), that I forgot I can talk normally.” He said making Dalhee laugh. Ouch.

“Is it okay if I come again? We can make each other lunch if you want. I want to eat the food you cook too.” Dalhee said making Namjoon nod. “We should hang out some time.”

“Please. I’m tired of being a mom-friend. All I do is look after (Y/n), it’s more than stressful.”

You couldn’t be mad at Dalhee. She was just a naturally good person. A nice girl who’s really pretty and can cook. Maybe it was good for Namjoon to have a friend like her.

[Hoseok]: lets go on a date again. ill do it right this time.

[You]: fine.

You sat back down with Namjoon and Dalhee and drank your water. “I’m going back to class. Do you know your way around already?” You asked Dalhee. She nodded. “I’ll see you later.” She said as you left her with Namjoon.

“(Y/n).” You wanted it to be Namjoon who called you, but sadly it was Hoseok. “I’m so sorry about yesterday. I promise, I’ll treat you better. I don’t have a girlfriend, and I’ll pay you back with tonight.” He said winking.

“I’m not in the mood.” You said walking past him, causing him to grab your arm.

“Meet me tonight. I really want to make this work.” He said before letting you go.

-

For the rest of the school day, you spent it with Dalhee. Helping her out around the school and everything else, but every time you look at her, you felt jealous.

That your closest friend gets annoyed because you act like a child. After school, Dalhee went home in some car that came to pick her up, and you just walked home by yourself without Namjoon.

Going into your empty house, since your parents were busy working, you just flopped down on the couch ignoring the notifications you were getting on your phone. Just kidding. It was getting annoying.

[Namjoon]: where are you?

[You]: home. I don’t feel good, so don’t come today.

[Namjoon]: ? You were fine a while ago? Are you okay? I saw you talking to Hoseok. Are you going to see him again?

[You]: probably.

[Namjoon]: are you okay? You’re not acting like you

[You]: Im just tired.

You place your phone beside you and sighed. Letting your eyelids get heavier, there’s loud knocking at your door. Groaning and struggling to get up, you opened the door to see Namjoon with worry all over his face. “Are you okay-“

“Go home.” You said smiling at him. “I’m going to take a nap, so you don’t have to waste your time here.”

Namjoon looked even more worried. “At least let me get your meals ready-“

“It’s okay. I’ll get it ready myself.” You said closing the door, but Namjoon’s foot stopped it. He opened the door and let himself in. “Namjoon. What are you doing-“

He let out a sigh. “Jesus. You have me stressed all the time (Y/n).” Namjoon said going to your kitchen.

“I just told you that you can go. What are you doing here?” You asked frowning. Go hang out and cook with Dalhee. “I have a date later. You don’t have to do anything.” You said stopping Namjoon from taking out food from your kitchen.

Namjoon looked at you with that mom look. “Why are you going on a date with Hoseok? Didn’t you learn from-“

“Because I want to.”

“Why?”

“What if I like Hoseok?” You said making Namjoon silent. “I wouldn’t go if I didn’t want to.” You said lying.

Namjoon didn’t say anything, so there was an awkward silence. “You just said you didn’t like him today. Why-“

“He wants to make us work.” You making Namjoon more stiff. “When we start dating, I’ll be out of your way. You don’t have to cook for me, and check up on me. None of that. Kim Namjoon gets to sit back and relax like what he wants.” You said giving him a thumbs up.

The boy just stood there. He groaned in frustration. “God. You’re stressing me out-“

“Well then go. So I don’t bother you anymore.” You were hurt, but you didn’t want him to know that. Namjoon was a good person, and you were the one holding him down. After all, showing that you were hurt would make you look sensitive.

Namjoon left everything where it was and walked past you and out of your home. Ouch. It hurt. You did this to yourself, maybe because you were so stubborn?

[You]: never mind. Im not going on our date.

-

That next day, you felt alone. Namjoon was basically the only person you talk to that was actually your friend. As you walk to your morning spot, you see him with Dalhee, having a good time. Obviously.

“I have no where to go.” You said to yourself just heading to your classroom and fell asleep on the desk.

Namjoon was waiting for you that morning though. Dalhee happened to see him, and started talking to him. “Hey. Have you seen (Y/n)?” He asked her making give a confused look. The girl shook her head making Namjoon more worried.

Maybe he should’ve said something to you. He knew how you were, and it made him even more worried. What if you didn’t eat at all yesterday? Diet? Since when did you care about that?

“I’ll walk you to your class.” Namjoon said to Dalhee. He knew you’d be there, since after all, you guys had the same class.

Dalhee was going on about her first day yesterday, and it wasn’t the bad. Namjoon enjoyed talking to her and everything, but it was getting boring. “There’s always this boy around (Y/n).” She said getting Namjoon’s attention. “Hoseok? I think that was his name.” She making Namjoon more interested.

“He’s always trying to talk to her, so I always thought she was a serious person because of how she talks to him. Then, I see the way she talks to you.” She said smiling. “You guys look like a better pair than her with Hoseok.”

Namjoon shook his head. “I’ve been around longer. We aren’t a pair at all.” He said making her surprised.

“You guys look cute together.” She making Namjoon shake his head again.

“I’m basically her mom.” Dalhee opened the door to the classroom, and Namjoon saw you sleeping.

He laughed a bit. “She didn’t even comb her hair.” Namjoon mumbled. He went over to you and petted your hair softly. “Wake up. Don’t sleep here.” He said quietly making you whine.

He squatted down to your level. “(Y/n).” Namjoon said looking at your sleepy face.

“Go away.” You said with your eyes half open.

Namjoon frowned. “(Y/n). Talk to me.” He said petting your hair. Dalhee awkwardly spoke up. “Namjoon. You’re not in this class, so you should go to class now.”

The boy sighed. “I don’t care if I’m late. We’re going to talk right now.” He said making you lift your head from the desk. “I said leave.” You said glaring at him.

Dalhee had a worry look on her face. “Namjoon. (Y/n) isn’t in a good mood so maybe you should go. You can talk to her later.”

“Yeah.” You agreed. “Leave me alone and listen to your girlfriend.” You said sounding more petty than planned.

Taken back by your words, Namjoon just stared at you. Were you jealous? Of Dalhee? Some girl he met yesterday? Before he could tell you she nothing compared to you, he remembered Dalhee being right next to him. “We can talk later.” Namjoon said before leaving the class room.

Dalhee didn’t talk to you at all, which you were completely fine with. The whole day people kept coming up to you asking if you and Namjoon broke up, even though the two of you weren’t dating to begin with.

Once the lunch bell rang, Namjoon ran to your class. He didn’t care if people thought he was being extra, he actually he did so he covered his face while running. “(Y/n)-“ Namjoon stopped himself as he saw you with Hoseok. Hoseok’s arm resting on your shoulder pulling you closer to him. Your uncombed hair wasn’t as bad as it was in the morning.

You two looked like a real couple. Namjoon watched you push Hoseok away, but your pushing didn’t have an effect. “Baby. Stop.” Hoseok said pulling you close to him.

“I told you I don’t like you.” You said annoyed. Hoseok sighed. “At least that boy you’re always with isn’t here to stop-“

“Well. I am.” Namjoon said coming up to Hoseok. “If she says she doesn’t like you, just leave her alone.” He said making Hoseok sigh. “If she’s a single girl, then I’m pretty sure-“

“She’s with me.” Namjoon said making your eyes widen. “She’s always with me. That’s why I stress about her so damn much. I always want to know if she’s okay or if she’s taking care of herself. It’s all because I like her. And I’m sure, I like her much more than you do.”

You push Hoseok away from you. “Stop Joon. You can’t just say that just because I haven’t-“

“But I’m not just saying this.” Namjoon cutting you off. You turned to Hoseok and told him you’d talk to him later before grabbing Namjoon’s hand, dragging him to your lunch spot. “I’m being serious (Y/n).”

You turn to Namjoon frustrated. “Shut up.” The both of you were quiet, the noise was the students in the school who were rushing to get their lunch. “You don’t like me.”

“But I do.” Namjoon said sighing. “I really do. I found out today. That I worry about you, that I can’t stand any boy you date, and the fact you thought Dalhee was a better replacement of you. When, obviously, she isn’t.” He said making you feel heat in your face. “I didn’t think it was true, but you jealous over a girl I met yesterday? Are you that slow?”

“Namjoon.” You said a bit offended with his choice of words. “Look. Maybe you’re just use to having me around-“

Your words were cut off with Namjoon’s lips over yours. It felt as if time has stopped and that your lips were in perfect fit for each other. You didn’t pull away. You didn’t push him. The moment stayed.

Namjoon pulled away instead. “I don’t want to be that ‘mom-friend���. I want to be your boyfriend. And, it might be rushed but take your time. Please.”

-

And so, Namjoon waited for your answer. His motherly instincts kicked in everyday, and there wasn’t a time where you weren’t with Namjoon. Ever since he confessed his love for you, he’s gotten more touchy. (And you’d never admit it, but you did too.)

There you two were, in your home watching TV. Namjoon’s hand resting on your inner thigh as you watched a animated series on your television. “Joon. Stop.” You said feeling him get even closer to you.

“No.” Namjoon said making you stiffen as he plants his lips on your cheeks. “Did you know that I love you?” He asked.

“Well, bet you didn’t know that I love you too.” You said wanting Namjoon’s lips on yours.

“Finally.”

Mom-Friend upgrades to Boyfriend.

[tumblunni]

WHY CAN I NEVER SLEEP WHEN I NEED TO SLEEEEEEP

aaa i’ve been really ill and i didnt get enough sleep yesterday and last week so i really need to take a good ol afternoon nap here i mean why the fuck did i even oversleep til 3pm?? i need to get back to sleep cos i’m still Totally Dying Here

but then AAAAAAAAAA I just got an email from the Re:Legend team!! that really cool game I kickstarted backed for like £700!! They’re opening the mailbox for people’s entries who bought the design a monster tier, and it doesnt say when the deadline is and AAAA I basically did nothing towards designing my monster since last august aaaaa i forgot about it cos there was such a long break between the kickstarter ending and now...

so like FUCK should I just buy a bunch of Monster Energy and try and blitz draw as fast as I can?? I’m already dizzy from sleep deprivation but i mean i cant get to sleep anyway now that im so excited for this!! I can be awake and tired and unable to draw good or i can be awake and buzzed as fuck and dying but DRAWING SWEET MONSTROS

also i also have to design an npc and a weapon aaaa and they say ‘make your anime you to have a place in the game!’ but like.. I literally cannot make a me cos yknow Gender. I don’t know if they’d accept a nonbinary character, or like.. if I’d have the same situation as poor Corlal from Summon Night and get turned male in the dub because ‘its easier’ >_> I just know that the game’s team was talking about how they probably won’t be able to give an answer on whether gay marriage options will be in the game until much later in development. They want to do it but gay marriage isn’t legalized yet in the country the game is being made in, and they’re being published by square enix so we also dunno how much impact they’d have on changing stuff in the game. So yeah I wanted to maybe just make a random npc to fit into the universe instead. But my first idea was ‘gay blacksmith man who loves you’ so EVIDENTELLY I AM NO GOOD AT THIS (i might put him in one of my own projects tho lol, he has a really cool tattoos! his personality is a bit too similar to Blair tho so maybe not in my big dating sim idea. Or maybe I could give blair his tattoos??) And then AAAA they already have a really cool grandpa that I cannot defeat :( look at this grandpa u guys

he’s the mayor and he’s cool and i am very excited to learn more about his personality and stuff cos he looks very silly! HE’S A VENTRILOQUIST WITH AN OWL AND HE ALSO LOOKS LIKE ONE

also this is my current fave of the revealed monsters

and this is my second fave

and this is my third fave

and these are all the cool weapon types and seriously I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DESIGN AAA SHOULD I MAKE ONE OF EACH???

(also greatsword, dual blade, bow and magic staff which were the first revealed and don’t have a fancy splash image)

and just generally AAAAA dis game AAAA I dont wanna miss the deadline and not get a chance to leave a mark on it but also AAAA I don;t know how to draw like fifty things in a week and not have them look terrible and especially if i’m wasting half that week on recovering from illness! SO yeah FUCK U BRAIN AND GOOD HEALTHFULNESS i’m gonna go buy way too many energy drinks and Die

brb lol

...

OH OH OH ONE THING BEFORE I GO, DUH, OMG

here’s a refresher on my monster design so far its name is sombul and it is a sleepy peep WHICH IS IRONIC COS IM GONNA GO INSOMNIAC TO FINISH IT

not sure which colourscheme is better

possible idea if the backer monsters are allowed to have breedable colours/patterns like the regular monsters are

kinda shitty scribbles of a prevolution maybe??

cos the reason I’m so AAAA right now is that we have to have a three stage evo line and i don’t know what else to give it? I had a vague idea for a final form but no clue what to go in-between, so then i was thinking maybe this is the in-between and it has a baby form but i couldnt think of any designs that weren’t just the same thing but smaller T_T final form idea is like a big spoopy four armed ghost knight with an aesthetic similar to NiGHTS but buff? but it’d still be the same scaredy cat sleepy hug monster, it just evolved to look scary so people will leave it alone XD maybe name it Lucidfer or something else thats a pun on awake? or man i don’t know if I’d be allowed to make it a two stage evo??? or a branching one so its still three monsters but in a different order?? I may as well design all of these ideas and be like ‘pick whichever one fits the game best’, i guess? MAKE MORE WORK FOR YOURSELF, BUNNI, THATS A SMART IDEA

aaaa now i will go shove caffeine in my face and die brbrbrbbrbbbbb