#im just really mad at the situation
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Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating
NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around
#and you raise a very hilarious point too LMFAO#not that he is jealous. just mad as hell its not working <3 I LIKE HIM VERY MUCH AND A NORMAL AMOUNT#to be clear i think his characterisation changed dramatically from wigmaker's job and a lot of his uh#very rash decisions about achieving power feels like they just needed a traitor character for lucanis#to really max out the use of spite. i really wish honestly that there was some canon support for illario#who would probably be a little more liked/popular than lucanis. bc lucanis is respected by the crows#but he's also a very distant 'dellamorte heir' figure. respect is not the same as being liked. so you know#there's the serious assassin with a rep for how good he is at killing#and there's a friendlier assassin with a rep for sweet talking#and neither of those reputations are necessarily true. but i know which one i'd be less afraid of#and i think illario would know that. and be able to use that. BUT WE DONT GET IT. WHATEVER.....#illario dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#answered#also we're introduced to an illario that understands being a crow. and has had all that drilled into him since childhood#why. would he. ally with the venatori.#why would he put himself into a situation that he couldnt control. other than 'the story needs a villain'#what im trying to say. is . there were the makings of a crow civil war here that ends with him tragically dead#if you asked me to expand on this i dont think i could. but like the main issue being the crows not standing together making#the antaam invasion worse (btw regarding this why the fuck were the antaam even invading) so lucanis' quest is#idk. something like uniting the crows together and potentially repairing his relationship w illario#or hardening him and convincing he needs to kill illario#this is me spitballing. dont even mind me#(glances at the 'illario mention' alarm going off in the background)#EDIT: AND ALSO IT JUST CAME TO ME#killing illario as an ending also makes lucanis first talon (oh we're really in the cycles now)#forgiving illario ends with illario becoming 'talon' tho he and lucanis work closely. like a ceo vs cfo#and ends with them repairing their relationship#in the ideal world lucanis would fully leave but im alright with crows making small steps towards becoming a bit healthier
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watched mouthwashing finally. the fact that i saw people be more aggressive towards curly than jimmy is kinda strange. kinda real weird
#mouthwashing#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing#i saw people draw fanart of anya. pouring mouthwash on his exposed flesh? as punishment for failing her?#which okay. 1. i dont think shed like that. 2. are we seriously blaming curly for this more than. jimmy. the guy who DID IT?#like okay do not get me wrong. curly is to blame. he made terrible mistakes he did horrible things his inaction is inexcusable#he should have handled the situation better. if he couldnt 'take care' of jimmy (likely) he should have just at least#been there for anya. supported her and comforted her more than he did#im not saying any of it is untrue#hell the aus i saw where anya is angry with curly? where post-recovery shes genuinely mad and to a degree disgusted with him?#great! real! very reasonable! it makes sense it works its everything#but like. some of the people i saw were being straight up vile. for zero reason#'yeah curly deserves to be tortured and like skinned more by anya for closure because of what he did' HAVE WE FORGOTTEN WHO DID IT#WHY IS JIMMY GETTING LEFT OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION. ARE WE FORGETTING WHOS THE LITERAL ASSAULTER?#one of those people also said that if you ship anya and curly you should kys so uhhh not really taking that opinion seriously but. jeez#i dont ship them either for the record i just think telling people to die over it is a little excessive. thats the whole thing really#theyre being really excessive#on a similiar note i saw people say 'nobody on the ship is black and white in morality' and i agree with that about everyone BUT jimmy#for one simple reason. there is never ever a reason to rape someone. not EVER. everyone else has reasons. is complicated#and while jimmy is complicated too obviously that doesnt. like undeniably hes the worst. he is the worst because what he did is just#one of the only crimes that never ever has an explaination that means anything. its always evil
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malenmalenmalenmalenmalenmalenmalenmalen
#princess tutu#malen#fanart#my art#these are all from p much the same big file as well as the innblings doodles#they've just been on my mind from time to time this is all scattered ideas coming to me sporadically since...im gonna say april.#correct me if im worng im too lazy to check#these were mostly me trying to figure out her wardrobe#cos tutu has that anachronistic feel#where nothings really pinned down#and like. yall saw how much personality ducks fun littel casual fit has#i watned kinda to figure out something similar for malen?#capture that sorta outside-of-time feel+see if i can make her personality shine through#.......whatever it is its not like we actually know#i think i make her a bit more somber than shy/anxious?#but idk i wanted to give her a hint of something More than what we saw in the anime#author is a useful hint here#like i know theyre not cannon siblings im playing with my dolls here ok leave me alone#like. seeign where she could be similar to him and where they might clash. its all so fun#also some extra info i found on the image that started this madness within me is making me rethink their situation/dynamic#so yeag#anyway#aco udri 'post'
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Me looking at the super long definitely TMI diary-type vent post in my drafts: haha yeah you're gonna live there forever until I delete you <3
#Its mostly cause its really rambling and i honestly dont want people to give unsolicited advice about it#i def get wanting to give suggestions and help cause i sometimes am that type of person#but more than likely i will just read and either get mad or ignore it entirely#which is why i typically tag vent posts with pls dont respond cause it does sometimes make things worse#that being said i appreciate kind words :)#im just bad at responding to them and fijd it incredibly awkward so i usually dont#if you read this far uhhh sorry lmao#anyway not a vent post#a funny meme post#also side note i dont think ive ever gotteb mad at people commenting on vent posts btw#Ive just had a short temper lately and i dont wanna create a situation in which i DO get mad
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I thought you kin kdj?
anon i hope this is a joke cause if this is a genuine question it is the singlemost scathing read i have ever recieved in my life 👏 bravo
#I WANT YOU TO KNOW IM LAUGHING THIS IS FUNNY REGARDLESS OF WHATEHR UR SERIOUS#not laughing At You tbc just the situation generally. genuinely not mad fhdkfdk#to answer ur question: no i dont bc i stopped kinning a bit before reading orv so the stars did not align#i think the me from when i used to kin definitely wouldve tho if thats any consolation#but yeah everyone i AM being truthful whenever i say i dont kin kdj#its just REALLY funny how much overlap there happens to be thats all#THIS HAS SURPASSED THE PERSON WHO TAGGED MY POST THINKING I WAS A KDJ ROLEPLAYER BTW. WHICH IS A HIGH BAR#inbox#EDIT: FRIEND HAS JUST NOTIFIED ME THERES A POST ON HERE WHERE I SAID I DID IN FACT KIN KDJ??? I DO NOT REMEMBER THIS. GENUINELY.#ANON YOU ARE JUSTIFIED SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION I HAVE DISSOCIATION AND MEMORY ISSUES LMAO??? whoever made that post was wilding#me the one typing this has no memories of kinning kdj so uh. SHRUG??? i wasnt lying on purpose at least#.....DO YOU SEE WHY THERES OVERLAP. THERES A REASON THE NUMBER 49 HAUNTS ME#edit2/update: they apparently distinctly remember me saying it in the tags of a post but nEITHER OF US CAN FIND IT#what is happening...hello....is anyone out there....#*knocks on my own skull* hello?? anyone home?! WHO DID THIS 🤣😭#EDIT/UPDATE 3: I FUCKING FOUND IT its from nearly 4 years ago holy shit#still dont remember posting that at all
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I think the most crushing autism experience is friends/romantic partners eventually figuring out youre masking bcz if you keep it up long enough its also off-putting & unnatural and then insisting you act like yourself- only to realize they in fact do not like your real self and make comments about how annoying/different youre acting all of a sudden. ❤️🧎♀️
#realest shit i ever said#anyway this has hapenned so many times that im convinced only 3-4 people actually can stand me. ❤️🙏#literally makes me sooooo mad too#‘’nooo youre not being yourself with me please ill accept you no matter what’’#no actually. you do not like me sadly 🙏🙏🙏#ughhhhh#i be in situations#this isnt a jab at myself i am so cool and funny#and trust im self aware enough to know the traits people dislike about me are fr harmless but could annoy someone easily.#so its not really mine or their fault#plus literally my brain just does not work like a neurotypical person#sorry i do not feel about things the way u do
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if one more thing happens. respectfully. i am going to Lose It
#yknow that one clip of the bugs life stick bug#where hes like 'im going to SNAP im going to SNAP'#yah thats ya boi bogathan over here#ITS ALWAYS FUCKIN SOMETHIN!!! HUH!!!!#oh motel pillow. we're really in it now#can i go... One Week... without a bad development to my Situation....#i need a giant fucking cake and i need a fork#and i need to demolish that shit on the floor#no no yknow what i need?#weed and an entire rotisserie chicken. On The Floor.#Also A Cake. Always Cake.#and a cantaloupe. maybe i should go get those marinated garlic cloves and chow down#heat up tonights steak. god i wish i brought my tablet i need to Scribble#BITING CLAWING MAIMING#absolutely unprompted#sorry venting again on main Look Away#im not even upset at this point im just mad#like the shrek meme - CAN YOU SHUT UP!!! FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!#and the shit starts comin and it dont stop comin and it dont stop comin and it dont stop comin and it dont-#at least ive got my stepdad in my corner smh#hes the real hero here#well i have a bunch of dc fics to catch up on. might as well do that!
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Literally no other way I could describe it right now.
#there are some serious feelings attached to all thats happening#im saddened. im mad. at the end of the day this is how i cope so im sorry if you dont feel like humor is your way out#im disappointed and digusted#personally#neil gaiman#is innocent until proven guilty and my heart goes out to the victims of this whole situation.#i know. i KNOW the right is gonna make it about trans rights and the left is gonna make this about zionism and how these results are#unsurprising due to him being 'either' of these (which im not going into)#because its NOT about those. its the disgusting behaviors he did w those women. consent or not he actively sought out rlly young women.#i hold out a tiny bit of hope but if all things go to shit I dont rlly have anything to fall back on in terms of fandom.#good omens got me through shit. it got me through hell and some my worst times ever.#ive made irreplaceable IRL friends#idk#just some feelings im putting out here. im still gonna 100% support all GO creators (unless they outright excuse NG's actions esp when hes#not yet proven innocent)#but yeah#i havent spoken about this in my other accs and I think this is the only coherent thought I can manage from all of that.#again. really upset. but we got this. were all in this together yk? theres no one side or another to SA but to support the victims.#thats all im rlly gonna say. just remember that Im sending uou guys lots of love. lets get through this <3#[EDIT: I MEANT TO SAY NEIL IS GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT FOR ME !!!!]
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im on vacation how can i make this about the murder time trio. mtt fresh out of a flight and the minute that they leave the airport dust stops horror and killer for the smoke break. because being around a smoker is like that. and while horror is dying and coughing from the cigarette smoke and killer is pretend coughing to make dust feel terrible theyre both simultaneously roasting the shit out of dust for being such an addict smoker. cancer speedrun GO says horror. refreshing his signature smell says killer. dust just glares at them and blows smoke in their face (horror literally takes damage he's at 0.7 HP)
#killer ended up liking that btw. he later asked for dust to extinguish the cig on him. freak#this is absolutely based on my own personal experience#only a person who knows a smoker knows how annoying it is when they take smoke breaks everywhere#car rides are TAINTED by dust having to smoke. eating out is interrupted because dust gets up every 15 minutes to smoke#his bones are a dusty color but not because of the dust but because the smoke has turned them gray from the inside out#i'll need to figure out the right time to post this but the mtt grind never stops even while inter nations ‼️‼️‼️#i MUST relate every single thing i do to the mtt. a similar situation just happened to me like 15 minutes ago#im in germany oui oui or something idk#i cannot wait to come up with a bunch of travel related mtt headcanons this is gonna be so fun#the only fun i'll have during this trip is the imaginary characters in the head i sound delusional#delusional??? like like like horror sans. like like dust sans. is killer delusional. probably idk#update on horror character analysis: i finished some of it on the flight but smh#UNFORTUNATELY i have a human body so i needed to sleep so thats 4 hours wasted on NOT mttmaxxing#and it turns out i REALLY shouldve pre translated time to go mad so i could localize it on a flight with no internet#yeah i didn't think that one through. but at least i got parts of the analysis done WITH NO MUSIC. im a god#since Mad Time Series was so eye opening and fun to translate i cant WAIT to see what Time to Go Mad will be like#calvateyla after being canon dusttale's lord and savior. even after not posting on ask dusttale for years they still manage to surprise me#i almost lost my apple pencil during the flight i swear i was tweaking out#how can i connect this to the mtt#how can i make EVERYTHING about the murder time trio#3 is my favorite number. K D H are my favorite letters. when i see a knife i think of killer when i see a hood i think of dust when i see#mtt brainrot goes hard just like me. im hard. fortunately not like like an erection the mtt brainrot never goes away#top ten most outrageous triglycercule statements#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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abduction/ambush concept for good ol' agent kennedy..... ->
leon catches someone taking his picture. it's a creepshot for sure, but with his line of work.... he can't be too careful now.
immediately he can tell his young woman knows she's been caught, and immediately he tries to get a feel for the situation.
she's embarrassed. she's looking away. and leon's.... not so sure about it. so, he makes his way over nonchalantly.
this woman is sat by the exit of this truckstop restaurant, by the trashcans and such. leon tries to avoid bluntly intimidating her by steering clear and throwing his stuff away. only to gently throw a comment her way, one that's meant to be playful and now blunt, but quiet to avoid drawing attention to her.
if this woman is just being creepy, he doesn't exactly want to embarrass her. she looks fresh into college and, while an adult shouldn't be acting like this.... maybe he wants to give her the benefit of the doubt, yknow?
he comments, something along the lines of, "not who you think i am, but i'm flattered. coulda just asked next time." a way to ease any tension with a joke.
and quickly, she's apologetic. "it was for a friend, i'm sorry," etc etc.
leon kinda feels bad. for the most part, he was worried less about some random girl taking creepshots and more of espionage and assassination attempts. if she's just some weirdo, then he can try to be nice at least? make the world a better place by confronting a creep and hopefully changing their ways lol.
in the best way he can, he just puts it light and asks her to not do that again. steer her on the right path.
but aha! that is the trick! while she wasn't interested in him (or maybe she plans to NOT delete that image after sending it to the sketch number she was given ahah), she was interested in the money she was paid to take photos and then lie to him if she was caught. hell, she IS a broke college student. what's wrong with sacrificing her dignity for a couple hundred bucks?
classic, "use an innocent looking young woman/kid to keep the target's guard down as a red herring!"
he might be a little weirded out on his way out, but he's more distracted by social anxiety to notice the ambush.
bonus points if this woman somehow becomes actually involved when, whoops, her desperation led her to witness this man's kidnapping and... oh god she just wants to eat something better than ramen, dude. fuck, man. shit. oh no. oh god.
and boy, is she in for a surprise when it's not just some random handsome guy getting abducted. not some poor fucker caught up in crime, or someone who owes money. ..
it's a fucking government agent involved with stopping bioterrorism. she's in deep...
#leon whump ideas#whump#this uh... yknow this was semi-inspired by an actual assassination by proxy (i think is the term)#in which some random woman were hired to play a prank -> tricked into killing#as i was writing it just got deeper and deeper into plot#the idea of this poor girl blaming herself and now leon's gotta help her#but i like to imagine while he's mad he's not really too bent outta shape into regards of her situation#like damn capitalism is rough but that was stupid lmfao#i wanna imagine leon's not gonna be too mad unless someone's actions gets someone killed (vendetta where he's really to be brutal)#he seems to wanna see good in people while also being a reasonable person/not downplaying someone's actions?#do i read that right about him idk#i wanna imagine leon's good at analyzing behavior/understanding the human condition#she's gotta eat -> does something bad -> definitely didnt realize the shit she'd get into#he sees the best in people first and also wont hesitate to deal with true evil and greed kinda thing#i mean he'll sacrifice himself for someone he barely knows so i think im at least closse#look im insecure about misreading characters/lore lol
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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#a doodley#something about being upset about being too forgiving#in situation where friends tell me they'd be angrier if they were me#but i cant Really be mad... because every person is just a person#and then that makes me upset. because how lucky for the other party that im so forgiving...! 0 consequence for em...! ykwim?#but it also doesnt do me any good to bring it up anymore...bc the moment has passed and again i feel bad being upset...#but again...so unfair...im the only one saddled with the emotions. how lucky for em that im not vindictive...augh#its a cycle. wah.#that quote about being silent about your pain bouncing around my brain#anyway. excited for hammed sandwich time ^_^
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i am putting Kunikida in Situations <3
#this isn't how i originally imagined this going but im not really MAD about it? it's interesting >>#kunikida caring about dazai so much that he recognizes how dazai cares about chuuya and is willing to help even if he doesn't understand#but dazai is clearly distressed and kunikida doesn't want that so he's doing what he can to help#even if its hella awkward for him <3#poor bby#idk why im doing this to him but there are 2 ideas floating around my head about basically this same sort of situation for him lmaooo#though the other one will be much more... Explosive we'll say#though tbf that one is also sort of reversed where its dazai who needs the care and kunikida is seeing chuuya takign care of him#and is like 'i think not?' and then has to face a pissed off chuuya who is also trying to not be pissed off#its a similar and yet very different situation but its still me putting kunikida in the middle of soukoku's dynamic shdkgh#not really in a kunidaichuu way#(or whatever the 3 of their ship name is??)#but just in a soukoku + kunikida way#he cares about dazai soooo much <3#sorry i did NOT mean to rant in the tags sdkdfhskhf#i never really do lmao and yet i still DO every single time#bsd#shh ac
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i know that when carlo suddenly decided that he needs to marry guy made a whole list in his head n like had a deadlines n shit. like it was some kind of a task he needed to do
#whole fkin campaign. idk still not sure how it was but man was in his peacock era for sure#n it's like i need to find a wife i need to make it in 2 (or whatever) months etc etc#but its like a bg task n he didn't speak bout it w others. like he just said that he needs to marry#also idk if i mentioned this but i wrote lauretta/carlo first meet long ago n she was w her fiance#i just listened to “pretty music” again sorry. i like that uh governor or tf this character is#changes his behaviour from one woman to another so real. n that fkin “but im a lucky guy who gets to dance w u”#and “since u know what i need i'll even take your lead” <- fr like im sure lauretta screwed him for several times#just to see if he's really serious good old manipulations w men nothing new nothing superstitious#upd. he probably made a mind budget for this (i mean finding a wife)#n bout lauretta screwing carlo its like in this ukranian song Ти ж мене пiдманула ти ж мене пiдвела#but since he's a strategist he's patient (like i wanted to accent this quality sm i wrote#that carlo started thinkin bout taking moretti's place back in 1932)#anyway. “Challenge accepted” situation and idk fr for some reason when it's carlo eddie lauretta it's always bout playing#so lauretta started playing n he entered this play too. i don't even think he was exactly mad (maybe only for the 1st time)#at this point i have a clear image of how they met n their first dates (cringe word) n how he proposed#ie how it started how it ended. ending was fast i believe (deadline is approaching 🤯)#what was in between i don't exactly know but i wondered just now if he also screwed lauretta (i think yes)#bc i don't knooowwww frrr all this is so bout playing to me#but bout ending its like. boss fight (<- sex) game credits (<- marriage) ((speedrun))#also i was thinkin if he even ever met lauretta's parents (i always thought that no but idk)#can imagine lauretta calling carlo a good friend. i also hm ok#i started to write a comic like a month ago just bout falcone polycule n it starts w#carlo who says that he finally needs to get married n lauretta's mother askin (in a pushing way) why#her n her fiance still aren't married like girl tf. she jinxed it i guess#upd. carlo/lauretta is funny in my head bc right before marriage he did fell in love lauretta didn't but guy's profitable we'll take him👍#she did only after marriage i think bc it was the time when u can finally relief bc it's over#u don't need to think bout no yes no no yes yes will it work or won't etc#woman was able to fucking chill at last. she got the money sorry i mean the man#he's not runnin away let's finally look who the fuck is even this man. why he won't shut up bout astronomy can i get a divorce <- jk#but yeah “я тобi брехала” is so lauretta right after marriage to me (“i dont even know the color of ur hair”)
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The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom
#.txt#i got soooo mad in the car driving home thinking about how his drug addiction is essentially the classic anime heart condition.#in that the only side effect of the suppressants is that they will kill him. like?#i realized for the longest time i had assumed the chest pain and sweating came from the drugs but thats. castor. obviously.#it doesnt affect his mood or his awareness its like a mood stabilizer pain relief pill?#its so odd that hes framed as like. being addicted to illegal street drugs. BY THE NARRATIVE.#when its more like hes on the most insane experimental medication that they wont even test on like. rats.#also im not fact checking any of this before posting. so i might be lying about things.#idk if it was all of strega that had trouble controlling their personas but like. chidori was because of the Experimentation.#and shinjis just like. mentally ill coded. in a bad way 😭#The inability to regulate a mood/stimuli to the point where he can be unsafe to himself or others.#broad ass symptom of disorders that are not treated well. its also interesting that its not brought on by a specific event.#like the childhood fire is there. but you have akihiko right there to directly compare it to. and hes arguably more effected by it all.#and he seems to be coping well 10+ years on like some coping mechanisms are kind of weird (protein) but nothing super out of the ordinary.#so the problem is really the october 4th incident which was just a pure honest to god accident.#the fact that it gets covered up as a car accident does feel like the best like. emotional equivalent.#because it being shinji being unable to control his persona his true representation of himself and it resulting in death is sooooo bleak#and it weighs on him for 2+ years of being suicidal and unhoused until finally he goes through with his suicide by martyrdom.#i lost the plot a little bit on the gender situation with the vague allusions to fraility when story convenient#acting as dorm den mother and cooking and sewing long hair jacket sillhouette reading like a dress#was referring to that before mental illness took over. woman under the influencing this anime boy.#long way of saying i think he should have a over the shoulder ponytail when hes older. and he should have a mood disorder.
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