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animestsstuff2 · 3 months ago

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Prom queen

Yuji itadori x femreader!

Part 3!

Content warning: fluff, drinking, lil angst, minor inumaki pinning

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Your palms were sweaty as you stepped into school. Today was the day of prom and of course school was still on. You could hear the hall buzz with talk of dresses, dates and other related topics.

You were nervous, of course you were. You had a date to prom and not just any date but Yuji. The boy you grew up despising, hating and ignoring was now taking you to prom. It also didn’t help that he was well loved and heavily crushed on.

You could almost feel the knife in your back as you walked past girls. Still you held your head high and ignored the snottily turned noses, wasn’t your problem he didn’t pick them. You found yourself in homeroom and seen Nobara already sitting there.

“Hey, excited?” You asked finding your seat beside her. She turned wide eyed and grinning like a maniac.

“Yes and exhausted. I done so much last night!” She exclaimed as she showed her painted nails and even tan.

“Yeah? I had my everything shower to be fair. I left it super late so im honestly kinda—“ you cut yourself off with a yawn and she got the message laughing at you.

You weren’t there long before the bell rang and you both were up heading to your next class. Yours was fortunately science. You waved goodbye to Nobara who unfortunately had math with Mr. Geto.

You found your seat and took your books out, waiting for Mr. Gojo who will definitely be late. He always was. You opened your textbook and mindlessly read, not really absorbing the information and not noticing the person beside you. The scrap of a chair startled you and you jumped to look beside you only to see familiar pink tuffs.

“Yuji?” You met his eyes as the crinkled with a smile. His cheeks dusting pink as he took his books out.

“Hey! I hope you don’t mind me sitting here. I wanted to talk about—um, prom and y’know everything” He informed and you just nodded. You didn’t really feel anything towards him now, well, you liked him obviously, after finding out he was not your childhood bully.

But it was still strange. You literally loathed this man up until yesterday and now here he was talking about prom. Your stomach fluttered a bit at the thought again. You and Yuji going to prom. You couldn’t deny your girlish feelings that bubbled at the silly dream of going to prom with the popular boy.

Yuji wasn’t all that bad looking..

“Y-Yeah sure, what did you want to talk about?” You asked, playing with the folded edge of the textbooks page.

“Oh! Well y’know do you wanna come to my house? Or i-I can come to yours if its easier and then—or we can meet up there too!” It was kind of funny seeing him behave like this, stumbling over words with no clear structure.

You giggled at him and he only sucked his lip between his teeth, dropping his shoulders. You reached and patted the hand he had on the table composing yourself and looking at him again.

“I’ll be getting ready with Nobara and arriving with her so we can just meet at the place, sound good?” Yuji perked up like a puppy nodding in agreement quickly. His heart was hammering from when you touched him.

“Yea! Sounds great!” He gave you a smile and your heart skipped a bit.

The class eventually started after your teacher arrived very late. Yuji couldn’t focus. He kept stealing glances, never having the chance to be so close to you. His cheeks warmed and eyes couldn’t help but stare at you. The way your brows knitted at a particularly challenging passage or the small smile that curled on your lips when you figured it out.

The bell rang all too soon and he was left alone. The memory of your gleaming smile as you confirmed you’d see him later all he had as he watched you leave the classroom. .

…

The whole school by lunch time was chattering loudly about prom. The lunch hall seemed fuller than usual probably lower classmates wanting to hear all the details and possible drama.

You found Nobara at your usual spot. Maki looming over her with a grin as your chestnut friend blushed profusely. You set your tray down gaining the attention of the two girls who looked to you.

“Hey Y/N” Maki gave you a nod before looking back to Nobara “see you later”

She smoothed her hand over Nobara’s head before walking off to her table. You found your eyes drifting from Nobara and over to him. His pink hair shaking as he laughed with Todo, who was harshly slapping his hand on his back. His eyes creased and pearly teeth on display. You felt your own cheeks stretch as a small smile formed.

He did have a pretty smile.

Todo noticed you first and shook Yuji’s shoulder as they both sobered up. Yuji’s head snapping round and catching you staring. He grinned once more and waved at you. You found your cheeks warming and stretching into a small smile as you raised your hand and gave a slight wave back.

Your view of Yuji was suddenly blocked as the familiar colour of your navy uniform appeared. You tilted your head back and met the narrowed eyes of a girl you knew was in your year but didn’t know her name.

“Y/N isn’t it?” You opened your mouth but she didn’t wait “i see you waving to Yuji”

“Thats cute. Hes super friendly its almost bothersome” her feigned laugh was anything but friendly as your brows knitted together. She twirled a lock of hair around a manicured finger.

“Anyways. I heard a little rumor that Yuji asked you to prom!” she snorted loudly “which is hilarious since he’s already taking me”

You glanced over to Nobara who was definitely stabbing the girl in her mind as she glared. Her knuckles white around the fork she held. You panned your attention back, now seeing a chance to speak.

“Thats odd. I think i’d know if Yuji asked me to prom” you turned again “right Nobara?”

“Yea—yeah. You’re going to prom with Inumaki sure” She lied and you followed on as you flashed a smile to the girl whos nostrils had stopped flaring and brows weren’t so poised.

“Inumaki? Hes quiet isn’t he but i’m sure you’ll look cute together!” She turned on her heel giving a wave “thanks for clearing that up!”

Your eyes fell back before you were Yuji sat still staring. His eyes wide and almost worried. You felt your chest warm as you swung your self off your chair and gathered your tray up having lost your appetite.

Your cheeks puffed out and feet almost stomping the ground as you left the lunch hall. You groaned internally at your stupidity, of course Yuji wasn’t serious. You felt your eyes well as memories of your childhood flashed as a bittersweet reminder.

Him and Sukuna definitely tag-teamed you. They definitely bet on who could be more horrid. You kept walking, vision blurry and nose runny.

Yuji has certainly won well.

You didn’t see—no you felt it first or actually them. You stumbled back, almost falling on your butt until a hand reached around your waist and fingers scrunched the jumper you wore, steadying you whilst pulling you forward.

“Shit—sorry, um-“ you paused looking up to see who you accidentally rammed into—it was Inumaki. Your cheeks warmed slightly from embarrassment.

“I’m really sorry Inumaki! I wasn’t watching at all where i was going” You stepped out of the hold he had on you and bowed your head slightly to apologise.

“It’s alright” He stated, noticing your red eyes “are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah um—just some girl came up to me talking about Yuji taking her to prom” You mumbled not really wanting to think about how after so many years he managed to hurt you once more.

“Is he not taking you to prom?” Inumaki asked, brows furrowing a bit and you just nodded subtly.

“Apparently not. This girl said he was already taking her” you muttered glancing up at him.

He opened his mouth to reply, cheeks tinging pink at what he was about to ask you when Nobara rounded the corner.

“Y/N!” You turned round and he missed his chance, deciding it was time to leave and turned himself.

“See you at prom Y/N” he called as he left.

“What happened? What was that girl on about?” Nobara asked. You just puffed your cheeks and shrugged.

“I have no idea. I don’t know who she is but you heard her apparently Yuji is taking her” Your fingers curled into your palms as you both walked towards the exit. You didn’t feel like staying in school any longer.

“I think i recognise her. I think her name is Yuko. I’m pretty sure her and Yuji used to date” Nobara told you and your heart dropped a bit as you suddenly remembered seeing them together a few times.

How could you be so stupid to believe Yuji?

…

You huffed staring at yourself in the mirror as a piece of hair refused to sit properly. Nobara stood behind you looking into the same mirror as she pulled her dress on. It really was beautiful.

“This bag or this one Y/N?” She asked and you swivelled round.

“That one” pointing to the one in her left hand. She nodded in agreement. You turned back around eventually managing to sort your hair and then slip your heels on just as her mother called yous both down.

“Come on girls! You don’t want to be late” You hauled yourselves into the car and began the drive, unable to stop yourself from biting at your freshly painted nails.

“Whats wrong?” Nobara asked and you glanced over at her.

“I just feel so stupid for believing Yuji—like seriously what was I actually thinking when he told me it was his twin brother” you groaned looking back out the window.

“I know. Hes an asshole but y’know what we are gonna have thee best night and y’know why” You looked back over waiting for her to continue when you watched her pull out two flasks from her bag before quickly stuffing them back in.

You just giggled and she shushed you as you pulled up to the venue that was hosting your prom. You waved goodbye to her mother and turned seeing a lot of people mingling outside. You recognised a few from the year below obviously being dates of people in your year.

You walked into the venue and found your way down to the huge room with flashing lights and music thumping out of it. Almost immediately you were swarmed by your friends. Maki, Inumaki, Yuta and Kasumi.

“Nobara you’re looking real cute” Maki grinned as she curled her arm around your friends waist.

You glanced around trying to see who all was here when you found someone already staring. Your eyes narrowed as they fell upon Yuji’s round ones. A smile on his face as he began to step forward.

No—absolutely not.

Your lips curled and you turned your face away to Nobara, grabbing her bag and sneaking your flask out. You quickly darted off to the large table with finger food and drinks. There was no way you could be near him or be any way sober. You dumped some of your alcohol into the glass of lemonade before quickly slipping the flask into your own bag.

“You not gonna share that?” You shoulders tensed at the voice behind you not recognising it until you turned around and met Inumaki.

“Oh-sorry, d’ya want some?” You asked pulling it back out. Inumaki offered his cup to you and you poured some into it.

“Thanks, so are you excited to be here?” He asked as yous moved a bit closer to the corner.

“Sorta I guess—can only hope the night goes good” You shrugged. “Anyways, who are you here with?”

“I’m by myself” he told you and your brows creased slightly.

“Really?” You were surprised he was here alone. You’ve heard a few girls discuss having crushes on Inumaki.

“You sound surprised—why? Do you think I should have brought someone” he asked tipping his cup to his lips.

“Oh-well yeah. I mean i’ve heard a few people talk about crushing on you y’know—its not surprising that they would have a crush on you so its like weird you’re here alone” you rambled, cheeks warming a bit after realising what you implied.

No way you were this much of a light weight.

“Not surprising? What are you tryna say Y/N” his lips tipped up in a smirk and your cheeks burned. You were praying your foundation was hiding how red your face felt.

You fumbled over words as you tried to give an excuse to your implication when you both were interrupted.

“Y/N—you coming to dance?” It was Yuji. You turned your head seeing the pink haired boy smile at you. You just rolled your eyes.

“No Yuji, leave me alone” You grumbled and his brows shot up. Why were you acting like this? He thought everything was okay now between you two.

“Hey—wait, whats wrong? D-Did I do something?” His heart was falling to his stomach and being shot back up by the bubbling feeling of sick.

“Do something wrong? Please—you asked me to prom whilst having a girlfriend” You snapped, swigging the rest of your drink and spinning on your heel.

Yuji’s feet scuffed the ground as he tried to go after you when a hand grabbed at his bicep and he turned to see Inumaki staring with knitted brows.

“Leave her be Yuji. You made her cry earlier today, don’t ruin tonight for her just cause you’re an ass” Yuji’s mouth fell open. He didn’t understand what could possibly had of happened between science class and now for you to hate him again.

“I didn’t make her cry! Inumaki what are you talking about? Why is she so mad?” His head was getting sore and the thumping music was just making it worse.

“You did just before lunch ended she ran into me saying you asked her to prom and that some girl came to her during lunch saying you were already going with her” Inumaki explained. Yuji’s eyes widened as he tried to think who would tell you that. He hadn’t asked anyone else or even hinted he would. He wanted to take you and only you.

His brows pulled together as he thought hard spinning himself round again as his eyes searched you in the crowds but he couldn’t spot you anywhere. His shoulders slumped feeling the night was already ruined as he reached into his pocket and pulled the pink rose corsage he bought for you.

He even forced Maki to find out the colour of your dress so he could match his tie to it. Did you even notice?

He headed back over to Megumi and Todo leaving Inumaki with nothing else to say and sitting down at the table they had. His head in his palms.

“Brother whats wrong?” Todo slapped a strong hand down on Yuji’s shoulder as he leaned over him.

“It’s Y/N! Apparently some girl told her that I was already taking her to prom and now Y/N probably thinks I was pulling some prank to hurt her again” Yuji cried, exasperated that the one chance he managed to fix things with you was ruined.

“Some girl? Who told you this?” Todo asked, pulling his chair closer. Megumi even decided this was worth paying attention to as he straightened himself up.

“Inuamki he was with Y/N and I went to ask her to dance and she walked off. Inumaki said that she was crying earlier today because some girl told her that” Yuji explained further. He just wanted to go home. He wasn’t all that interesting in prom he just wanted a reason to spend time with you.

“Some girl?…do you think it was Yuko? Shes always had a crazy crush on you Yuji” Megumi piped up and Yuji’s eyes widened in realisation. His chair scrapping the floor as he stood up.

“Ah Megumi! You’re so smart! It probably was Yuko!” Yuji grinned as he darted off.

He searched everywhere for you pushing through the dance crowd multiple times, checking the corners, peoples tables and waiting outside the girls bathroom for a questionable period. He puffed his cheeks out with a sigh when he spotted Maki and Nobara.

“Nobara! Do you know where Y/N is?” Nobara groaned as Yuji approached them.

“No Yuji I don’t and y’know what—“ she hiccupped, spinning away from Maki on a wobbly heel and jamming a filed finger into Yuji’s chest.

“You’re an ass. She was really looking forward to going to—to prom with you an-an” Maki slipped an arm around Nobara’s waist and hauled the kicking girl up as she gave a thumb towards the exit door.

Yuji nodded with a small smile and bumped by people who were still coming in, trying to spot you in the crowd of peers and classmates. He eventually found himself outside. The sky dark with stars glistening. He turned his head left and right seeing if you were about he when spotting you down on a bench.

He slipped in beside you and you turned your head, huffing out and rolling your eyes as you went to get up. His fingers wrapped around your wrist stopping you from moving.

“P-Please hear me out Y/N!” He begged, eyes wide with worry as you glanced down at him. You sat back down.

Maybe it was the almost empty flask deciding your decisions right now. You stayed silent, turning to look at him with slightly glossy eyes. His heart skipped as he swallowed dryly.

“U-um, Inumaki told me about what—what happened and that girl Yuko..shes been obsessed with me since first year!” Your fingers curled into your palms at the mention of her. He watched your brows knit and he quickened his pace.

“I don’t like her back! We never dated and i never asked her to prom! I-I promise Y/N” he shot out, reaching into his blazer pocket and fumbling with the small box that held the matching pink corsage.

“S-See? I even matched my tie to your dress. I got Maki to ask Nobara what colour you got” His lips tipped into a small smile as his cheeks tinged. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he looked at you.

You glanced at him, then the tie and then the corsage. Your lip sucked between your teeth as you chewed his words over. Did he really mean it? Was he telling the truth. You sighed deeply, growing annoyed you believed that girl. You had seen her earlier wearing a disgustingly gross bright green dress. Your nose wrinkled at the vomit green that flashed through your mind.

“Are you actually telling the truth Yuji?” You mumbled, blinking your eye lashes at him. His cheeks warmed further at you.

“Y-yes! Of course I am. I really like you Y/N and I-I know you don’t like me back—“ his eyes met yours, fingers unknowingly curling around your palm.

“Which is okay but I want to give you a good prom” he gave his typical smile, pearly teeth on display and eyes creasing. You felt your mood lighten instantly and you reached your other hand out.

“Okay Yuji. I think the corsage you got is pretty” you complimented and he smiled as he took both hands and slipped it on you. He stood up and held a hand out for you.

You took it letting go and sliding a hand up his arm to wrap in the nook of his elbow as you walked back in together, leaning rather close to him. His cheeks burned now as he kept his eyes ahead. He should probably get a drink.

It was definitely the alcohol that you consumed that led you onto the dance floor with Yuji, passing a huffing Yuko who was sat in the corner with her friends fawning over her. You smiled up at the pink haired man, wrapping your arms around his neck as he laid rigid palms on the small of your waist.

“You’re so tense Yuji, is something wrong?” You asked. He sucked a breath in as he finally looked down at you.

You looked so pretty. He couldn’t believe you were dancing with him right now.

“Y-Yeah” He forced out through clenched teeth. He was so nervous. He didn’t want to mess this up.

You only hummed and leaned closer turning your head and resting it on his shoulder. Your breath on his neck as a particularly quiet song played. Yuji’s breath hitched as he felt yours fan against his neck, tickling him. His eyes darting about and finding Todo and Megumi staring at him.

Todo gave him a large thumbs up and started mimicking a kissing motion as he pointed at you. Yuji shook his head furiously and you stirred a bit shifting to pull away as your fingers played with the small hairs on his neck.

“Y’sure you’re okay Yuji?” You hummed again, staring up at the pink faced boy. Your smile was so pretty.

“Y-Yeah um ju-just Todo being weird” he muttered, eyes fixing back to his friend. You hummed and began to turn your head but Yuji was quicker.

His fingers slipped just to your hips and spun you around. You squealed with a giggle as his other hand slipped to your lower back and he gave you a dip before pulling you back up. Your body flush against his as you giggled up at him.

The flask was now empty by the way. When did that happen?.

“Yuji! When did you learn how to do that?!” You asked grinning from ear to ear as you looked up ay him. He just shrugged trying to play it cool whilst butterflies swarmed his stomach.

“Thank you for bringing me to prom by the way Yuji. The night has been really nice” you mumbled, moving your head back to his shoulder. He slipped his hands around your waist and pulled you into a tight hug before resting his fingers back at your hips.

“Thank you for giving me a chance Y/N. I’m sorry again for everything Sukuna did. I never knew” he told you and you pulled your head back shaking your head, tipping yourself onto the tips of your heels and planting a small kiss by the corner of his lip.

His cheeks burned and his eyes widened as you leaned back down, giggling some more at his stunned expression.

“C’mon let’s go get some photos with everyone!” You grabbed his hand in yours and dragged him off to find your friends as you spotted the photographer making his way around.

Yuji’s heart was thumping hard, stomach twirling and cheeks sore from the large smile etched on his face.

He couldn’t have asked for a better night.

And neither could you.

21 notes · View notes

inadaydream99 · 5 years ago

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Wait, there was a error here and I don't know if the request was sent or not, so I will send it again. Can I request a SKZ reaction to trying to being more "mature" to impress their crush but their crush doesn't like it. Thanks in advance honey, I hope you're doing great ❤️ ❤️ 😘 😘

Hey, I love this request! 😁 I didn’t get this the first time so thank you for sending it in again. I’m sorry this has taken so long, but I hope you enjoy!

Chan

To say you were confused by Chan’s recent behaviour was an understatement. He hadn’t been acting like himself and every time someone made a slightly immature joke or comment he would just roll his eyes instead of laughing along like he normally would. You didn’t like it one bit.

You were visiting the guys for the day, having not been able to see them much when everything suddenly became clear to you. Chan was trying to impress you by being more mature because you said that you found guys that were mature more attractive. You knew you shouldn’t have been listening into the conversation between Chan and Seungmin but you couldn’t help yourself.

“You’re overthinking this. By mature, I don’t think she meant being boring and not joining in on jokes.” You hear Seungmin state in a mocking tone, a cute little giggle sounding after which makes you let out a snicker under your breath.

“But none of our conversations are ever mature, so I just decided to not get involved.” Chan responds, his tone unrecognisable to you but you could picture the straight faced expression he must be pulling.

“I can see she is worried about you though, she keep glancing to see your responce. I know she likes it when you join in on the immature jokes we make.”

“Seungmin’s right you know.” You enter the room, jumping into the conversation before another word can be spoken. Both of their eyes wide and mouths slightly hung open in surprise.

“If being mature means you aren’t your normally bubbly self then I guess I don’t like mature guys that much.” You continue when you realise that neither of them are going to respond.

“See. I was right.” Seungmin smugly smiles before leaving the room. Chan can only look down in embarrassment, a shy smile on his face as you both laugh with one another.

Woojin

“Why are you being so quiet?” You suddenly blurt catching Woojin off guard. He turns to look at you in confusion, the book he was previously reading now sitting in his lap.

“Well, im reading.” Woojin smirks at you, an eyebrow raising mockingly.

“No, I don’t mean that. I mean, you seem more serious lately.” You roll your eyes before explaining what you mean.

“You’re- subdued.” You continue, pausing momentarily to find the right word to describe him.

“I’m just thinking about the future, what I want from life and things like that.” Woojin answers you calmly. Generally Woojin is one of the most mature people you know, but you’ve never known him to be this focused.

“You have loads of time for that. I haven’t even seen you smile today. Can you smile, I miss your smile.” You pout up at him, leaning into his side and looking at him intently.

“You’re annoying you know that.” Woojin teases, a smile breaking out on his face as he laughs at you.

“I did it!” You cheer which only makes Woojin laugh more. He never had the confident to admit it but your silliness is one of the reasons he loves you.

Minho

“But I like it when we’re not serious.” You complain, following Minho as he walks away from you.

“We aren’t kids anymore (Y/N), so stop acting like one.” Minho rolls his eyes as he continues walking, not even sending a glance your way as you catch up to his side.

You had gotten into a disagreement with Minho because you told him that you think it’s strange seeing him act more mature. This irritated him because he had been purposefully acting more mature to impress you, secretly wanting you to start looking at him as more than a friend. And maturity was the way he decided to do that because he thought that would be what you wanted.

“Just because we aren’t kids doesn’t mean we can’t have fun and not take life too seriously all the time. But that’s all you’ve been recently.” You retort, persistent on getting Minho to lighten up a bit.

“I thought you would want someone who is mature though!” Minho suddenly stops walking. You look at him confused b my the statement.

“I’ve been trying to get you to notice me. You said you tired of dating boys and wanted a man.” Minho speaks softer as he approches you slowly after you fail to respond.

You can feel your heart beating out of your chest from his confession. You had no idea he felt that way about you, but you were happy he did.

Changbin

“Is it really that important to you?” You we’re questioned randomly by Changbin who was laying across the sofa with his head in your lap.

“What’s important to me?” You laugh at the ominous question, your fingers combing though his hair continuously.

“About finding someone who is mature.” Changbin fills in the gaps, his hands raising a little so he can pick at his nails, a nervous habit he has that you find endearing.

“I guess, but it’s not the most important thing.” You reply easily as you smile down at him.

“What is then?” He mumbles. You’re almost not sure if he was asking you or just speaking his thoughts until his eyes finally meet yours.

“Someone who is nice, and genuinely cares about me.” You start, your voice trailing off as you think about it more deeply.

“So like me then...” Changbin brings you out of your mind, his shy smile making your stomach flip.

Hyunjin

“Life’s too short.” You bashfully say as you take a sip of your drink, your gaze trailing off to your side as you look out of the window to the cafe you are currently sat in.

“Which is why it’s important to know what you want.” Your eyes dart back to land on Hyunjin who is sat opposite you, his expression serious and calm. It’s like you are suddenly in a parallel universe, your best friend having changed personalities over night.

“Wow, so very mature of you. Where’s my goofy best friend gone, I liked him better.” You giggle in an attempt to bring some lightheartedness into the air.

“It’s true.” Hyunjin chuckles, his head falling to look at the table simultaneously.

“So you know what you want then?” You regain his eye contact, a teasing tone to your question.

“Yeah, you.” Hyunjin answers confidently, his eyes not once diverting from yours, wanting to see your reaction.

Jisung

You had been bickering with Jisung for over an hour about how he needs to grow up. Unsurprisingly this offended him and has relentlessly been trying to prove to you that he is mature ever since.

“The economy, politics, taxes!” Jisung yells, his sporadic movements almost giving you a heart attack as he jumps around the room passionalty trying to prove his point.

“Just saying random words doesn’t prove you are mature. If anything, I’m surprised you know those words.” You mock, a wide grin on your face as you get hit with a pillow.

“Hey! That’s not fair!” Jisung whines, becoming defeated by your teasing.

“Do you really want me to be more mature?” He timidly asks after a few minutes.

“No, I like you exactly as you are.” You cringe at your cheesy words. But the smile of Jisung’s face is priceless.

Felix

“I can’t adult today... or any day really.” Felix sighs, falling onto the sofa next to you as you look up from your phone in amusement.

“Don’t be so dramatic.” You playfully scoff before returning your attention to scrolling through social media.

You didn’t really think too much about what you had said to Felix, but he did. It bothered him that you thought he was being dramatic making him question if you were even joking though you played it off as one.

Its been a few days since then and ever since you have noticed Felix being more reserved than normal. Your curiosity peaks when you observe that he hasn’t been joining in on group conversations as much. He hasn’t even been giving Jisung reactions when he makes a joke like he normally does.

“What’s wrong?” You decide to investigate as soon as you get the opportunity to and finding Felix in his own was perfect.

“Nothing.” He mumbles, his disinterest in answering you evident.

“Seriously? You’re being like that. I just wanted to make sure you are ok.” You begin to get defensive, slightly angered by his hardness towards you.

“I’m not getting into a childish argument with you (Y/N). I said I was fine.” Felix responds, his voice raising in volume which only makes you further annoyed.

“Then why are you acting like one.” You retort purposefully trying to upset him now.

“Why are you so fixated on that! All you care about is people acting mature and yet you don’t even act mature yourself.” Felix retaliates as he sends daggers your way.

“Since when have I ever said that?” You become timid, feeling sadness wash over you from the accusation.

“A few days ago you told me to stop being dramatic and ever since it’s been in my mind that you think I’m not mature or I am childish.” Felix speaks after calming himself down a little, his anger fading upon seeing you look so hurt by his explosion.

“I didn’t mean it that way at all. I actually think you are way more sensible and mature than I am.” You answer barely above a whisper as you struggle to keep your emotions in control.

Felix feels regret wash over him as he takes in your reaction, his heart braking at seeing how much he has upset you.

“I’m sorry. I guess I overthought what you said.” He softly speaks. You nod your head in responce as you are engulfed in a tight hug.

Seungmin

“How sophisticated.” Seungmin flatly comments which makes you almost choke on your drink.

“Do you want to kill me.” You joke, laughing as you mop up the bit of coffee spilt on the table with a tissue. “What were you talking about anyway?” You continue as you throw the tissue away, wanting to know the reason for his sarcastic sounding comment.

“Just this picture Changbin sent on the group of some stupid meme or something.” Seungmin fills you in, still sounding completely unimpressed.

“But you love all that kind of stuff.” You giggle at him, finding his sarcasm highly entertaining.

“Well not anymore. I am more mature now.” He states proudly, smiling at you widely.

“But now who am I gonna send my favourite memes to?” You pout. You didn’t like this ‘new mature’ Seungmin.

“Well, you still can if you want. I just though you would be impressed by my maturity.” Seungmin admits, his cheeks tinting pink feeling shy.

“You’re so cute.” You coo at him, laughing when it makes his cheeks turn bright red from your comment.

Jeongin

“I am not a child!” Jeongin whines, his stroppy actions completely opposing his statement.

You have been teasing him by calling him a child and babying him, which Jeongin normally loves. He always enjoys your attention, having a huge crush on you for a while. But recently he has been trying to act more grown up, wanting you to look at him as a man rather than a boy.

“Your tantrum suggests the opposite.” You snicker making his sigh in frustration.

“I can be mature.” He defends as he stops whining and grumpily focuses onto the tv, determined to ignore you.

“I know, I’m just messing with you.” You speak as you try to get his attention. “I know you’re not a child. Even if I do make it seem that way sometimes.” You continue, successfully getting Jeongin’s attention onto you once again.

“Really.” Jeongin responds, his eyes wide in shock.

When you nod in responce, Jeongin finally smiles, happy with what you have said.

#stray kids requests #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader #kpop fluff #stray kids angst #kpop angst #kpop requests #kpop reactions #kpop imagines #kpop x reader #kpop scenarios

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charlieestudies · 5 years ago

Note

multiples of five for the weird ask ☺️

thank you so so so so so so much ! love ur blog btw !

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i don’t drink soda bc i don’t like the bubbles + sweetness, but when i drink water n occasionally juice i like glass cups. i reuse old candle jars as cups so they’re thick and i like when theyre cooler than plastic

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

none of them. in primary school i refused to go out and i’d sit inside and read, and in hs i pretty much just stood there and did the bare minimum to avoid a teacher yelling at me

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

mao’s last dancer

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

depends on what i’m writing. but honestly, i will always love handwriting in nice notebooks with nice pens and everything colour coded (can you tell im a super visual person)

25. first song you remember hearing?

probably something of my parents. they mainly listen to bon jovi and inxs. i am not a fan of either of those in the slighest.

30. places that you find sacred?

sounds a bit weird, but my room. its my sanctuary, the one place i have. i can completely let my guard down. it’s a sensory haven, a creative space, a calm space, a music making space. very few people have ever been in there, it feels like letting them into a part of me

35. average time you fall asleep?

like, 12-2am (it’s currently 1:55am. i was diagnosed with a circadian rhythm disorder years ago but i never did anything about it and my sleep still be massively fucked up)

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

actually having friends, when i was in hs??? at the time that was a big deal, esp after primary where kids called me the r slur more than my own name

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy for books, superhero for movies

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

probably something dumb that my dog’s done. he does dumb shit all the time. for example: yesterday, he was licking things when he thought i wasn’t looking (he doesn’t understand the concept of peripheral vision its p funny). i told him not to lick my brother’s guitar, which is just hanging on the wall bc he doesn’t actually play it, and its covered in dust. leon licked the guitar, and then acted all indignant that he got a mouthful of dust and stood by his waterbowl until i turned on the tap, bc apparently bowl water isn’t good enough for my princess of a dog. this is super off track but basically, my dog is really silly and he makes me laugh and i love him a LOt

55. favorite fairy tale?

never really cared about fairy tales, tbh

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

never really watched anime, either, so i wouldn’t have a clue. in the vague genre though, i wouldn’t mind being in a studio ghibli movie

65. any permanent scars?

quite a lot. most of them are self harm scars (left wrist, ribs, tummy, thighs, shoulders, lower back), but there are others. one��s from a netball game, where a girl didn’t cut her nails and accidentally gouged out my arm going for the ball and i didn’t realise until i was dripping blood. i have two tiny punctures on my right arm from when my dog was a puppy and chewed on me when teething. i have three tiny ones in my thumb from when i accidentally stapled it when i was 8, and then poked one end back through the skin.

70. left or right handed?

right, but my left fingers are much stronger + more dextrous than my right bc i’m a violinist, and all my right hand does is hold a bow. hence, when i type i primarily use my left unintentionally

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

not sure, probs kindergarten so around 5-6?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

jewel tones. i like colour, and i’m not a huge fan of browns

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology any day babeyyyyyy

90. luckiest mistake?

not so much a mistake, but not being able to audition for the uni i had my heart set on turned out for the better, i think

#charlie answers #miss-shirley

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birdy-babe · 6 years ago

Text

Burned Out Chapter 3

Summary: Roman makes some changes...Patton’s emotions finally explode

Warnings: UHHH nothing rly, crying? angst?

Pairings: Platonic Royality (Or romantic if you want it), Platonic LAMP! Maybe eventual Logince or something idk

Word count: 2116 (Sorry its short!)

Note: Lmao I wanna say that im 100% not gonna make Logan and Virgil seem evil and I apologize if I have. Logan I find is very...self centered in a way that he isnt aware of other peoples feelings and he thinks he is always correct. Virgil however...he more, doesn’t know how to deal with it? And he doesn’t understand the capacity of his words/actions bc he thinks Roman can handle it. They aren’t terrible- they will start to be nicer :)

ALso thank you for all the positive feedback!! It makes me suppper happy!!

anyway, here you go!

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5

Chapter 3

Roman fell onto his couch as he resided back to his room.

He let out a sigh and stared at his ceiling, watching the bubbles float by. He reached up and played with them as he thought to himself.

"Why don't you trust me more?" He asked himself in an empty, quiet room, "All I do is fight for you..fight for your hopes and dreams. Create all you're imagination. I want to create happiness for you, not destroy everything you’ve ever wanted" he tells the silence in his room. Roman let out a loud sigh as he sat up.

"Maybe I should just duck out... It seems all I am doing is hurting you" he tells himself and glanced around his room. "I'm nothing but childish imagination, and you're an adult now. You have no time for silly things like me" he stood up in frustration. He looked around the room. It was covered in Disney posters, colorful paintings, and family photos of the sides. Roman looked down at his transparent hands.

He sucked in a breath- he knew exactly what this meant. The creative side raised his hand so it was in front of his face. Roman could faintly see through his hand. The bubbles floated by and provided a glow that just drifted through what used to be solid.

He focused on what was behind his hand, spotting a photo across the room. He let his hand slowly fall as he stared at it. Roman let out a breath, taking one foot after the other until he stood in front of the photo.

The photo showed Roman surrounded by all the people he loved. His right arm was slung around Virgil's shoulders as Virgil let a small smile appear on his face. His left arm was wrapped around Patton; the moral side hugged Roman around the neck while laughing. Logan stood next to Patton, a hand on Patton's back as he subtly smiled at the camera. Deceit stood too the side, beside Virgil with a small grin and a wave- he didn't like to be touched often. Remy was even in this one- he peaked above Roman and Patton giving a peace-sign to the camera. Thomas was the one who took the photo, so he was absent but he was there in thought.

Roman felt a knot in his throat and a rock in his stomach. He came to a realization. He ran his hand over the photo nostalgically.

"Maybe I don't need to leave...maybe if I just change I wont disappear" he whispered to himself, his voice low and cracking, "I don't want to leave them.." He tells himself and glanced around the room.

He was suddenly set on a different mission. He needed to reinvent himself or else he would disappear. He didn't need to sit, wallowed up in his room until he poofed into nothingness. He didn't want to leave the people he loved the most- and if he changed so they accepted him, maybe he wouldn't have too.

He started with the posters. Roman moved around the room and took down all his Disney posters. He pulled down Mulan, Aladdin, Lion King, Beauty and The Beast, The Little Mermaid, Pinocchio, all of them. He folded them nicely and set them in a pile.

He tapped his chin as he thought about what else he needed to get rid of. He pulled down all his meaningless paintings- which was most of them. He left up a few that were simple and fit the room well. He piled the paintings up next to the posters.

Roman bit his lip and thought for a moment, closing his eyes and raising his hand. He breathed heavily as he concentrated- using his mind to change the structure of his room. His brain started to go on overdrive.

Roman suddenly gasped, opening his eyes as he felt himself fall over out of mental exhaustion. He scrambled to catch himself, grabbing onto the arm of a chair to stop himself from completely falling on his face.

He breathed heavily, his limbs felt weak and his eyes felt tired. He shook his head to try to wake himself up a bit more. He knew he needed to stop doing that so much; he knew it was bad for him. Yet he was satisfied with the result.

The walls were no longer red and gold and instead was a nice coffee color. The floor was no longer covered in paint and other stains. It was a soft, comfortable white carpet. He looked at the furniture. Instead of having it all red and royalty-like, the couches and chairs were a simple black and the tables were sleek white with glass on stop. It still looked nice and expensive- yet just more simple. More calming.

The place where his unfinished paintings were stacked next to his easel and paints was now replaced with a desk with papers instead of canvases and pencils instead of brushes. A laptop sat on the desk.

Roman smiled at it. It was so incredibly simple and not creative at all but Roman knew it would be a good change. Sure it made him uncomfortable, it was no where near his style, and he hated it but...if it kept him from disappearing he would do anything.

Roman decided he wanted to show the other sides, despite how tired he was. He was suddenly so excited about them seeings it- seeing how much he has matured. He let out a small squeal, "They are going to love it!" He clapped his hands.

Roman was about to sink out when he glanced into the mirror. He immediately stopped and looked down at his outfit. He couldn’t wear this silly thing anymore. He needed something less...extra.

Roman thought for a moment before letting out a small gasp. He excitedly spun in a circle. Suddenly his prince outfit disappeared and in its spot was a white button up with his logo on the shoulders. His pants were now all red and his shirt was tucked into them. To top it off, a pair of golden suspenders went around his shoulders.

He grinned at himself, "Now I'm ready!"

He sunk out

"Greetings, friendos!" Roman greeted as he appeared in the shared mindpalace.

Logan looked up from the book he had his nose in, Virgil continued to nod his head as he listened to music on the couch, and Patton was too engrossed in Steven Universe.

Logan cringed a little bit, “Please not so loud, I do have a headache from today and I’m trying to focus my attention to my book” He requested.

Roman took a moment to wonder how Logan- an imaginary figment inside someones head- had a headache. He decided not to think about it too much to refrain from also- giving himself a headache.

“Sorry to interrupt, Siri. I just wish to show you all something I have fabulously done!” He tells the group just as proudly but with less volume this time.

Logan’s nose was already back in his book, so he just let out a hum. Virgil glanced at him but didn’t respond as his headphones covered his ears.

Roman’s prideful attitude plummeted, “Hello? Greetings? Yes I am talking to all of you commoners!” He called out playfully, stepping into the living room. He waved to Virgil who just glared and visibly showed Roman that he had turned up his music. Roman crossed his arms and glared back.

He turned to Logan with a huff, waving his hand in front of his face, “Hello? Alexa? I am speaking to you!” He calls out.

Logan slowly looked up at him and calmly set his book down on his lap, “Roman as excited as you are, I simply do not have the emotions to...give attention to whatever project you have completed now. It is later in the evening and I wish to continue to relax by reading. Perhaps you can show Patton” Logan explained and suggested. Roman frowned.

“But I want to show all of youuu!” He whined.

Logan was getting visibly irritated, “As I explained before, Roman” Logan said his name harshly, “I lack the interest you do in giving attention to you’re newest creation. Maybe later”

Roman grabbed Logan’s hand and started to attempt to pull him off the couch, “Pleaaassee Logan-!”

“Roman I do not have the time-” He raised his voice.

“But Logan I-”

“Roman! Enough!” Logan yelled and ripped his hand away. Roman let his hands drop as he went silent.

Roman felt his heart plummet as he stared at Logan. He felt anger boil in his chest.

“Whatever. Continue being an emotionless freak then” Roman spat the words at him. He saw the hurt flash across Logan’s eyes.

Roman knew his words hurt. He remembered the nights he stayed up to comfort Logan. He knew how insecure Logan was about his lack of emotions and his selfishness. He knew it all yet he spit the words anyway- just to hurt him.

Roman turned around before Logan could see the guilt in his expression.

Roman shoved his hands in his pockets and began walking out of the living room in a hurt, dreadful rage back to his room. He stopped in his tracks when he suddenly heard a voice that broke silence.

“I’ll come see it” Patton’s soft voice rang through the room.

Roman turned around slowly. Sometime in the midst of fighting with Logan, Virgil had turned down his music and taken off his headphones and Patton paused his show. Virgil was now looking back and forth from Logan to Roman with an unreadable expression. Patton stared up from where he was on the ground with a soft, sad expression.

Roman let out a sigh, “No Patton it’s fine, it is nothing impressive or-”

Patton stood up, interrupting Roman, “I don't care! I wanna see it...everything you make is impressive! No one tells you that enough!” Patton told him, a pained expression on his face.

Roman froze, confusion written all over his face. He was usually so good at reading emotions and how people felt but now he couldn’t. He didn’t know why Patton was starting to yell compliments at him while he wore a pained expression. He didn’t know why Patton was saying anything positive to him in the first place. Roman knew he had done nothing right lately.

“Patton you don’t have to say that, its hardly true and-”

Patton voice cracked, “Roman stop!” he yelled.

The room went silent.

All you could hear was the soft breaths coming from Patton as he stared at the creative side. Roman stood, shocked and confused, staring back at him. Virgil and Logan watched in confusion and surprise from their spots.

“It is true! Roman you are so valued! You make Thomas so incredibly happy. You allow him to see a brighter future and to find fun in life. You create wonderful things and everything you make is impressive and gorgeous! You are so important to Thomas and you are so important to us! We can’t be without you, Roman!” Patton’s voice was slowly becoming strained as it became obvious that he was holding back tears.

“We don’t tell you that enough..or at all! You deserve to hear how much we appreciate you because we do! And you always show us how much you value us and how much you care about us and we never return the favor!” Patton had tears in his eyes by now.

All the sides watched in awe- Patton had only gotten like this a few times before. He only did when he was feeling overwhelmed by different emotions or when he felt ignored.

Roman felt a knot in his throat as he felt like he was also going to cry hearing these things. He finally spoke up.

“Patton why-” He started to speak but Patton wasn't done.

“Because your mug is gone! I noticed that your mug is gone...and your paintings! The paintings you made and we hung in the living room have disappeared!” Patton gestured to the walls.

The three other sides looked around them and found it to be true- the paintings Roman had hung had now disappeared, leaving the walls blank and empty.

“Plus!” Patton continued, holding his tears down, “You weren’t at breakfast! Or lunch! Or dinner! You didn’t show up today when Thomas called you...you-” Patton’s tears finally over flowed.

Roman ran forward so he was in front of Patton, looking around him- trying to figure out how to comfort the boy. Roman felt terrible, he made Patton sad like this. He didn’t mean too, he just figured the other sides didn’t want him around. Roman placed a hand Patton's shoulder and looked at him. Patton hung his head.

“Patton that's hardly any reason to assume that-”

“You’re disappearing Roman…” Patton told him as he grabbed Roman’s hand and looked down at it, “Roman you’re transparent...you’re disappearing”

Note: ur welcome

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asexualzoro · 7 years ago

Text

list of reasons I find zoro ridiculous

after my similarly titled mihawk post took off I decided to make a zoro post, since he’s my second favorite character and also arguably the most ridiculous character in all of One Piece. here we go

- I know what you’re all thinking. i’m gonna open this list with how he wields three swords, right? no. no, Zoro has done so much ridiculous bullshit, this doesn’t even seem weird anymore. i don’t even bat my eye at this. this is nothing. now that i’ve got that out of the way, let’s begin

- this dude has like, an obsession with cutting off his own limbs? and MAYBE i can understand trying to cut his feet off when they were stuck in wax—you’re trying to save your friends, i get it—but what about when he was sword shopping in loguetown? who’s first response when buying a cursed sword and testing if it’s really cursed is “i’ll toss it in the air n see if I get amputated lol.” plus there’s that old filler where luffy gets his finger stuck in a bottle and, when he asks zoro for help getting it out, zoro tries to CUT IT OFF. im convinced he lost that left eye of his bc he got dust or something in it and then tried to stab it out

- there’s like, several occasions where Zoro has been directed to head up a staircase and gone some other direction. it happened in enies lobby and in dressrosa? like, what’s the dude got against stai—... oh, wait

- his reintroduction post timeskip. get on the wrong boat? just cut it in half! who even cares! how’d you even end up on the wrong boat? you had to walk towards that boat, which means looking at the boat. that boat looked nothing like the sunny, wouldn’t zoro have noticed that? he also has to make an effort to climb on, which means, you guessed it, looking at the boat! he probably sees the crew members, maybe even gets helped up by one or a few. how did he not at any point in time notice that wasn’t his boat?

- also when they landed on sabaody the first time and zoro was like “i’m gonna go take a walk!” and both Sanji and Usopp tried to stop him, talking to him like concerned parents of a troublemaking toddler, like “Zoro you can’t go out there you’ll get lost!” to which Zoro replies “yeah but the grottos are numbered, I can find my way back if I just remember the number!” and Sanji and Usopp are like “okay, solid logic, even YOURE not dumb enough to mess that up” and what does Zoro do? what does he fucking do?

- I want to emphasize he messes it up because a bubble covers the 4 in “Grotto 41” so he thinks it’s grotto 1. BUBBLES. ARE. TRANSPARENT

- “sorry, I don’t pray to god” fuckin edgelord

- Zoro’s epithet is “Pirate Hunter” and it’s super lame. he could’ve been “Demon of the East Blue” but they went with pirate hunter, even though he became a pirate. even Chopper’s is better than his lbr

- THERES A SCENE WHERE SANJI THREATENS TO PUT RAZOR BLADES IN ZOROS FOOD N ZOROS LIKE “do it u won’t” SO SANJI DOES AND ZORO JUST EATS THEM? ODA EVEN GOT ASKED ABOUT IT IN AN SBS AND CONFIRMED YES, ZORO DID IN FACT EAT RAZOR BLADES. THIS 2EDGY4U BITCH JUST. STRAIGHT UP. ATE RAZOR BLADES

- in film gold he wears that black jacket under the white one. mind you he had no way of knowing he would be trapped in gold by tesoro or that they’d all have a dramatic coordinated outfit change once he was free so what the fuck was he doing? why did he wear that? who wears two jackets for no reason?

- “if i’m gonna be a statue I want it to be in this pose” “i’m glad I struck a pose”

- remember when zoro fought mr. 1 in alabasta and mr. 1 dropped a stone building on him and he was just like “this is a rocky day” or smth equally awful? i hate him

- the tarzan yell in skypiea

- actually, the goggles too.

- didn’t he try to convince someone he was fighting they were sunglasses bc they had some blinding light-based attack? I feel like he did but I don’t remember skypiea well enough to be sure

- Zoro vs the bird in skypiea. spent a fair amount of the damn arc running around skypiea getting messed w by a bird (which, according to Luffy, was more evolved than Zoro bc it had developed a sense of direction. burned by ur own captain)

- when asked why Zoro was able to speak with a sword in his mouth, oda said “IT’S HIS HEART SPEAKING”

- that colorspread Zoro where he reads a book about weightlifting while balancing a weight on top

- when Zoro fights that masochist guy in film gold (I think his name was dice?) and said some cocky ass one liner after the guy fell unconscious that went something like “What's wrong? Didn't it feel good? Aren't you gonna scream in pleasure?" awful

- Zoro almost gets murdered by Mihawk and then, later that day, tries to take on fishmen underwater. others r like “you cannot handle this, you will literally die” and Zoro doesn’t even care bc Luffy is in trouble

- he was sailing bc he left home to find mihawk and then couldn’t figure out how to get back

- remember that filler where Zoro taught Luffy how to skate but then forgot to teach him how to turn. I love both that this happened and the implication that Zoro is a person who knows how to roller skate and therefore has spent time roller skating. Zoro roller skating backstory when?

- when Zoro was fighting oz, a 500 year old corpse, he licked his sword. now, on top of licking his sword being ridiculous as hell because, listen, there’s NOTHING cool about licking your sword. you just look like a loser. but a sword that just came out of a 500 year old corpse? really? i know it was preserved by the cold and all but there’s no way it didn’t rot at all. that’s a rotted, frozen corpse. Zoro what in the HELL were you thinking. I hope you get sick

- i’m sure it probably wasn’t even the first time he licked his sword in a fight but I will say with absolute confidence he looked like a loser every single time

- I feel like he licked his sword while facing mr 1 but I can’t remember. if he did, that’s honestly iconic. stare down a dude that’s made of swords while licking yours? power move. only decent time to kick your sword

- Zoro, joining Luffy: “if you stand in the way of my dream i’ll kill you!” Zoro, a day later: “of course i’ll carry my captain in this heavy cage on my back to safety. oh this gaping wound in my side? nothing. who cares about bleeding to death, my captain needs me!”

- all those big weights he’s got. all of them.

- especially that time he was lifting weights post thriller bark after barely surviving kuma, still heavily injuries, complaining about how weak he is. buddy...

- that time in drum island where he decided to train by going swimming in the freezing ice-country water, then when he got out he got lost in the snowy mountains until he wandered into a random battle and took out some guy just to steal his coat

- this isn’t the only time he steals some random dude’s coat

- the chimney.

- that filler in smiles lobby where he gets, like, abducted by a bunch of children for a day and integrated into their family?

- Roronoa Zoro went fursuiting in dressrosa and that’s a canon fact you all must acknowledge

- speaking of being a furry anyone remember mugiwara theater?

- THE FUCKING MUGIWARA THEATER NAMES. mugiwara theater is a gift, alright? here’s some: nakamura hanzorou. zobear. ZOROMILK

- I FORGOT TO MENTION. THAT TIME ZORO N USOPP WERE HANDCUFFED TOGETHER AND ZORO TRIED TO CONVINCE USOPP TO PLAY ROCK PAPER SCISSORS WITH HIM TO SEE WHICH ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE TO CUT THEIR HAND OFF

- also the fact that his logic was “it’ll be fine cuz chopper can just sew it back on”

- can we also talk abt how later that fight he uses Usopp as a sword because holy shit Zoro

- this isn’t technically zoro’s fault but the guy who sold him his sword to him in loguetown has a giant version of bounty image up above his bath, which........

- barto asked for zoro’s autograph and Zoro just wrote “sword”

- the grave of the rumbar pirates was finished right around when Zoro woke up from his coma post thriller bark and Zoro decided to walk over while Brook is sitting there mourning almost everyone he ever loved and just. plops his sword—an inanimate object—in the dirt by the grave of BROOKS ENTIRE CREW like “hey i’m gonna bury this here u don’t mind tho right? cool”

- he’s lucky Brook is such a cool dude cuz if I was mourning the death of MY crew and some fuck decided to plant a rusty sword there i’d just fuckin kill em

- in Zou they were talking abt whatever and Luffy mentioned how Sanji was as strong as one thousand men and Zoro, clearly jealous that Sanji got praised by Luffy, butt in with a stuttery objection on how HE was stronger than Sanji and worth TWO THOUSAND men, which luffy ignored, and Nami had to reassure him that yes, Zoro, we know you’re strong. toddler

- this is also not technically zoro’s fault but one time someone asked oda in an sbs which strawhats would eat ice in their drink and oda answered who would n wouldn’t (Luffy, Chopper, Brook, Usopp, and Robin would, if ur wondering). Zoro was on the wouldn’t list, and some fan sent oda a letter informing him of a panel where Zoro was shown eating ice to disprove this. someone pulled zoro ice eating receipts on oda and that’s a fact we all have to live with

- the first time Zoro meets mihawk—the strongest man in the world, the man he wants to defeat someday, and incredibly powerful and impressive dude—he cries like a baby

- zoro’s been crucified like 4 times now. once in his introduction than in three movies (6, gold, nebulandia). idk why this keeps happening but honestly? keep it up

- when Brook joined the crew, Zoro said he was sorry for Brooks bad luck as if one of the first things Brook ever saw Zoro do wasn’t to try and die for the crew via Giant Paw Ball of Pain

- speaking of, i’m pretty sure half the reason zoro DIDNT die in thriller bark is because if he died via smth as silly as a giant paw ball his injured pride would kill him again

- I was going to make fun of Zoro for wearing only a suit and a fake mustache in dressrosa as a disguise but then I realized, like, given how absolutely shredded Zoro was in Punk Hazard and how that suit somehow managed to squish it all down without zoro ripping the sleeves off? solid disguise

- when merry was burning and everyone’s bawling and remembering great memories on the ship and Zoro was standing there, 100% stoic, remembering a nap

- Zoro saw marines (Garp) coming to Water 7 while Luffy was still unconscious and ran off to warn the others but couldn’t find his way back to the hotel

- that G8 filler where he falls off a cliff in pursuit of his swords

- speaking of fillers, remember that amnesia one? (ha). highlights include Zoro trying to physically fight a small sea horse (plus Usopp doing a bad lip-syncing) and Zoro swimming through the Grand Line with his swords tied to his head by his bandana

- meets a dragon, eats the dragon

- it got mentioned once that Sanji and Nami canonly help Zoro and the other guys get dressed. so every time Zoro wears something absolutely ridiculous (which is often), it’s probably Sanjis doing

- “I can’t believe I cut a freaking booger!!”

- speaking of, remember that time Luffy flicked a booger into Zoro’s drink at the Baratie and Zoro tried to force him to drink it?? remember that?? I hate them both

- that time Zoro was trying to find the Right Eye in Skypiea, said that (though the path to get there was STRAIGHT AHEAD) all he had to do to find the right eye was just keep going right (even though that would just lead him in circles!). and then after that do you know what direction he went?? do you know?? he fucking went left

- the time Zoro got lost walking on a straight path in a filler.

- Zoro lost to a guy in a fight and just fucking let the dude cut him in half. like, yes, the baratie scene was all cool as all hell and I love it but Zoro did in fact basically invite a dude to cut him in half

- when they were hit by negative hollows and everyone else said stuff that was kinda funny but Zoro went straight up “I don’t deserve to exist” please honey talk to someone

- he was fighting Kaku and kept engaging in Kaku’s devil fruit bs and then berating himself for being uncool as if he wasn’t already fighting a giant giraffe

- to end this list, I want to get to Zoro’s absolute worst offense. remember when Zoro fought Kaku and he did that asura form thing? where he straight up grew four extra arms and two extra heads, all wielding swords? what the FUCK was that? and don’t tell me “fighting spirit” alright. that’s bull. people don’t just GROW EXTRA SWORD-WIELDING BODY PARTS because they’re just REALLY INTO a FIGHT. like I know this is One Piece and shit’s ridiculous all this time but this? this is too much. even for One Piece this is too much. this is so ridiculous. there has to be a line, even in One Piece, with what these guys are allowed to get away with. I can accept haki so good you can see the future. I can accept spinning so fast you set your leg on fire. I can accept being made of springs. I can accept booger bombs. I can accept all that and more, but this? this is where i take my stand. Roronoa Zoro cannot keep getting away with this! fighting spirit is just not an explanation. and the worst part? the absolute worst part?

- Zoro makes four extra limbs and two extra heads, all armed with swords, MATERIALIZE out of THIN AIR with absolutely NO REAL EXPLANATION and then pretty much NEVER DOES IT AGAIN! he did it once in sabaody (and once in strong world) and then hasn’t done it since! everyone else uses the power ups they got in enies lobby all the time but Zoro, somewhere out there, knows how fuckin sick this attack is (bc yeah it’s ridiculous as hell but like I still enjoy it) and he just won’t do it again. not once post timeskip has he used it at all. Roronoa Zoro knows what he’s doing and he is out there, right now, laughing

- roronoa zoro is one of my top three favorite one piece characters and I make this list entirely out of love. (feel free to add on more moments I may have missed and i’ll add them)

#One Piece #roronoa zoro #Zoro #im making a tag for these lists and it is:#ridiculous lists #I love this man. hes awful and I love him #I also want you all to know ive had this list in my notes for like a month and ive been adding to it this whole time #roronoa Zoro is a piece of work #my posts

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phandomsecretvalentines · 7 years ago

Text

Tell Me Everything Will Be Alright

This is my fic (and my first phanfic wow) for the 2018 Phandom Secret Valentines, and my valentine is @citrouillephan!

I hope you enjoy! -from your valentine, @realityfallsapart

tags: fluff, angst, 2009 AU

words: 4.7k

Summary: Dan Howell tends to get lost in his head and his thoughts have a habit of ruling him even when he doesn’t want them to. When he and his best friend finally have a chance at meeting, Dan starts to wonder if he is actually good enough for the amazing human being that is Phil Lester.

(ao3 link)

(Thank you so much to @moonbeamphan for reading this over and helping me! This wouldn’t be as good without you!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dan typed his answer and sent it by hitting enter before leaning back in his chair and letting out a shaky breath that seemed to rattle his insides. His laptop chirped quietly, announcing that Phil had replied to him. He couldn’t bring himself to look at it right away. Finally, after a few moments, he flicked his eyes down to the white screen of the computer in his lap where Phil’s most recent message seemed to glare up at him.

Phil :) (9:47 PM)

i know!

i can’t believe it either!

For a few moment, Dan could do nothing but stare at the screen; at the black words disrupting the artificial white light. It was the only thing that gave Dan any sort of illumination in his room; everything else was dark. He bit his lip and thought about the possible pros and cons of shutting his laptop and burying his head under his duvet to pretend that everything was fine because it was. It’s all fine.

Dan shook his head and reached his hands down to the keyboard. He wouldn't—couldn’t—do that to Phil. Phil deserved so much better than that. His numb fingers typed out a small sentence, only realizing that it had several typos until after he had sent it. He mentally kicked himself for it.

Dan ^-^ (9:51 PM)

Me niether! it seems like thsi would n e v e r happen!

**neither, this

Jeez i can spell

Phil :) (9:51 PM)

idk dan are you sure you can def spell? those seem like some pretty beginner mistakes…

Dan knew Phil was kidding. He knew that it was just Phil playing around with Dan like they normally did. Like they had been doing for months at this point. But in Dan’s heightened state of anxiety and stress, he couldn’t help but berate himself further. God, Phil must think of him as a kid now, he can’t even spell right!

Dan crashed back into his mattress, groaning and squeezing his eyes shut.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid….” he muttered, hitting his forehead with his hand with every word.

Looking back on this moment, Dan would laugh and realize how utterly idiotic his anger with himself was coming from, but right now, in bed with the lights off and by himself, he couldn’t help but magnify the issue. He had been anxious and stressed without a pause this entire week.

He looked up at his ceiling, sighing in growing frustration towards himself, but it wasn’t just because of his inability to catch his typos. In fact, it had nothing to do with them. The typos had just tipped him right over the edge and all of his insecurities crashed over him like waves, his head nearly going under the tide.

To say he wasn’t good enough was an understatement. To say that Phil deserved a much better best friend than Dan was even more of one. Phil was older, more experienced, more mature, funny, smart, kind, and extremely compassionate. He had a great time making pretty successful and entertaining videos (at least in Dan’s opinion, and he would always fight anyone who said otherwise) on the side, on top of balancing life. Dan was younger, so much more less experienced with everything, he got overwhelmed with life and spent the majority of his time curled up under his covers surfing through the waves of his latest existential crisis or playing PC video games that he would forget about within the next 24 hours. He was purgatory in the form of a human and an incredibly underwhelming one at that.

He wasn’t sure how long exactly he laid there, stewing in his self-deprecation and wishing that he was better. Better in literally every aspect, maybe then he would finally be worth Phil’s time, if only a little bit. His computer chirped again, and then twice more minutes later in rapid succession, as if angry. Dan grasped for the thing, pulling it up to his chest, lacking the energy to sit back up.

Phil :) (10:07 PM)

Dan you know im joking right?

Phil :) (10:16 PM)

Dan? you still there? i was joking i promise you can make all the typos you want

u didnt fall asleep did you?

Dan couldn’t help the watery smile that turned the corners of his mouth up, albeit it being a small one. Phil had that effect on him even if Dan was falling apart on the inside. Just a little though, he was fine.

Dan ^-^ (10:18 PM)

nooo im not sleeping

Phil :) (10:18 PM)

Dan ^-^ (10:19 PM)

why the frowny face

Dan tried to keep the fear out of his thoughts but the talons of doubt had already settled around his heart. Was Phil mad that he didn’t answer right away? Would-

His laptop signaled the arrival of Phil’s reply, and Dan really didn’t know if he wanted to slam the lid of his computer shut or jump at the opportunity to find out if he had just ruined the best friendship he had ever had. Ever will. He went for the latter.

(Dan supposed he might be overreacting, but then again, when wasn’t he, it seemed?)

Phil :) (10:20 PM)

did i insult your typing skills one too many times? is that why you disapeared?

*disappeared

Dan used the best coping mechanisms for dealing with his anxiety that he knew: humor and avoidance. Together, they were a formidable force and Dan had spent a large majority of his time perfecting their potency.

Dan ^-^ (10:20 PM)

now look who’s making the typos

Phil :) (10:20 PM)

Dan.

He gulped. Now he had done it. Fuck. He had to fix this.

Dan ignored the roar behind his ears that seemed to be screaming that he should just ignore this all, pray that things would magically fix themselves and change the topic. That was his fear talking. His self-abandonment. His anxiety. His everything. Phil was worth so much more. So Dan pushed it all away for just long enough to reply.

Dan ^-^ (10:21 PM)

sorry, joke

no, thats not why i ran away

i was just thinking, thats all

Phil :) (10:21 PM)

were you doing it again

Dan tried to pretend that he didn’t know what Phil was talking about and simultaneously cursed himself for telling Phil about his increasing habit for getting lost in his thoughts. He failed. He knew exactly what Phil was talking about.

Back, about three weeks ago in a later-than-normal conversation where all of their inhibitions seemed to dissipate, Dan had finally come clean about how sometimes thoughts got the best of him. He would crumble under them, get so completely and utterly lost in his head that he would sometimes stay there for hours on end, picking apart anything that his conscience decided to dig up. And it hindered Dan, made him hate himself just that much more, made him hate how easily his anxieties held him hostage, stuck. But he couldn’t do much about it, it seemed, for whenever he got lost in his head, he always forgot that he had to get out.

Dan gulped. He had to lie his way out of this. He knew that Phil didn’t like it when Dan got stuck. He could pull off nonchalance, right?

Dan ^-^ (10:22 PM)

Phil :) (10:22 PM)

im not convinced

you were werent you

Dan ^-^ (10:23 PM)

does my word not count for anything lol

Phil :) (10:24 PM)

maybe if we were talking and i could see your face it’d count

Dan ^-^ (10:24 PM)

what’s my face got to do with anything?

Phil’s bubble appeared on the screen once, twice, three times, before he apparently decided on what he was going to say and sent it. The entire time Dan was a few words away from having a breakdown. His hands were shaking. His mind was racing faster than normal. Faster than it had in what seemed like a very long time.

Phil :) (10:26 PM)

bc then i could tell if you were lying

tho rn i dont even need that

Dan ^-^ (10:26 PM)

are u seriously saying im lying

Phil :) (10:27 PM)

yeah

you did everything that you always do when you arent telling the truth

you joked

changed / focused the conversation onto smth else

and besides

ive gathered that you really dont like to talk about the things that bother you. you like to ignore them and stuff

Dan ^-^ (10:28 PM)

so how bout we not talk about them then

Phil :) (10:29 PM)

normally, maybe

but not with this

Dan ^-^ (10:29 PM)

and why not?

Phil :) (10:29 PM)

bc i dont like it when you beat yourself up in your head

Dan ^-^ (10:30 PM)

who said i was beating myself up in my head

Phil :) (10:30 PM)

… dan :/

youre avoiding again

Dan cursed himself. God, since when could Phil read him like a book?

Dan ^-^ (10:32 PM)

fine. maybe i am

what are you gonna do about it philly?

Phil :) (10:32 PM)

daaaaannnnnn

you arent allowed to beat yourself up

no ones allowed to

especially you!

Dan giggled, just a little. He couldn’t help it when Phil was being…well, Phil.

Dan ^-^ (10:33 PM)

and why not? Hmm?

Phil :) (10:34 PM)

bc youre my favorite person silly

my favorite person cant be sad. its just the rules

Dan ^-^ (10:35 PM)

oh yeah? whose rules then, oh wise philip

Phil :) (10:35 PM)

ew dont call me philip my nan calls me that

and theyre my rules

my rules for my favorite person

Dan ^-^ (10:35 PM)

suuurrreee phil. sure its a rule

*philip

Phil’s cursor didn’t appear seconds after Dan had sent his message like usual. Insead, nothing appeared. Their good-natured banter had eased the storm raging inside of Dan and his thoughts and anxieties had died down a little, much more easier to bear with the distraction Phil was giving him, but with the sudden disappearance of his best friend, they came back full force. All of his doubts spilled into the front of his conscience. He shivered. It wasn’t from the cold.

Dan watched the little digital clock at the bottom of his laptop screen count the minutes falling away. One, two, three, four, five, god did what did he do-

Phil :) (10:41 PM)

[multimedia image: click to load]

With his heart in his throat, Dan clicked, and a small window appeared, momentarily covering their chat from Dan’s view. It was hard to make out, the quality bad and the image itself grainy and dark, but it was of a piece of paper lying atop two legs clad in bright pyjamas that Dan could immediately connect to Phil and his eccentric personality. He could make out the tip of Phil’s finger at the top of the shot, too. Squinting, he looked at the paper itself, zooming in to make out the words penned in Phil’s handwriting.

Rules:

1. Dan Howell is my favorite person

2. No one is allowed to make fun of him

3. ESPECIALLY if that “no one” is Dan himself

Dan started to laugh. Only Phil would actually make a list of “rules”. Only Phil.

Before Dan could reply, Phil was typing again.

Phil :) (10:43 PM)

there. proper rules written on proper paper. you have to follow them now

Dan ^-^ (10:44 PM)

i cant believe that you actually wrote rules you spork

but fine! i guess if i have to lol

Dan was still working heavily with avoiding the whole situation entirely, just like with what he was doing to the problem causing him so much stress to begin with, but he couldn’t help it. It’s just how he was.

Phil :) (10:46 PM)

so you admit to your crimes xD

but anyways

you were stuck in your head again

which is okay, i mean, i understand that it’s something you cant help

Dan felt like he was going to cry. Phil’s assurance that Dan’s mind running in panicked circles was perfectly okay was almost too much. Phil’s compassion was almost too much.

But it appeared that Phil wasn’t done, because his laptop dinged quietly again.

Phil :) (10:47 PM)

can i ask whats got you so sad and worried

so i can beat it up

obvs

Now Dan really wanted to cry. How could he tell Phil that the reason was him? How could he say that the root of this ball of anxiety and stress and worrying that had taken over him was Phil himself?

He couldn’t do that to Phil, not when his best friend would undoubtedly take it hard. God, if Phil knew why Dan kept getting lost in himself, he would be crushed.

Dan ^-^ (10:51 PM)

noooo

Phil :) (10:51 PM)

are you sure? i wont judge you dan, i swear it doesnt matter if you think i wont like it

i just wanna be here for you

If Dan wasn’t crying earlier, he was now, a few select tears dripping down his cheeks, brimming with the emotions that had been taking over him this past week. Phil was…too much. He was too kind, too sweet, too undeserving of someone like Dan. God, Phil deserved the whole world, he shouldn’t have to settle with Dan.

Another message appeared on Dan’s screen, as but this one didn’t seem like normal, it was a little off, a little rushed, a little…something. Dan couldn’t place it.

Phil :) (10:53 PM)

bc youre my best friend.

obvs. xD

If Dan wasn’t so out of it and was able to think clearly, he might have questioned Phil’s “clarification” of why and what sense he wanted to be there for him, but Dan was not in the best state of mind and he thought nothing of it.

Dan looked at his screen again. He still had to acknowledge Phil’s question, and he wasn’t sure how to go about it. He wanted to tell Phil he already told him everything, have Phil reassure him and tell him that everything was going to be okay again, like he normally did. But Dan couldn’t. He couldn’t lie again, once was already once too many, and something told Dan that if he tried to ignore it or change the topic, Phil would just call him out again.

Fuck.

Dan ^-^ (10:56 PM)

it doesnt matter

Phil :) (10:56 PM)

yes it does

its enough to make you get lost in that head of yours, so it matters

Dan ^-^ (10:57 PM)

phil we both know it doesnt take much for me to get lost in my thoughts

Phil :) (10:58 PM)

still

something is bothering you and i want to fix it

Dan bit his lip. God, Phil had no idea how badly he wanted to let him fix this. He couldn’t though. He just couldn’t.

Dan ^-^ (10:58 PM)

nooo phil, you cant fix this one

Phil :) (10:58 PM)

>:(

you cant even let me try?

Always, always, but just not with this. Dan couldn’t tell Phil this, not when it would hurt him.

Dan ^-^ (11:00 PM)

no phil, not with this sorry :(

Phil :) (11:01 PM)

:((((

okay

i may not like it but i can respect that

will you tell me tomorrow?

Dan looked at the screen, thinking about it. Tomorrow was what he was worried about to begin with. Could he tell Phil tomorrow? He wasn’t sure. Well, it didn’t matter if things went good or not, Dan mused, tomorrow Dan’s fears would either be affirmed or destroyed.

He could only hope.

Dan ^-^ (11:03 PM)

sure

tomorrow

Phil :) (11:03 PM)

yay!!!

Dan laughed, breathily.

Phil :) (11:03 PM)

oooh! look at the time!

its getting so late bear wow

guess we should get to sleep so we dont fall asleep on each other tomorrow huh? xD

Dan’s heart physically melted at the use of Phil’s pet name for him. He only used it occasionally, but it never failed to make Dan’s heart stutter in his chest and the butterflies in his belly to flit around faster, making him feel almost giddy. Hopeful.

God he sounded so stupid right now. Anxious and stressed out of his mind yet still acting like a little kid with their first crush.

Stupid feelings.

Dan ^-^ (11:05 PM)

yeah i guess we should!

night philly :)

Phil :) (11:05 PM)

goodnight dan!! :D

see you tomorrow!

(ps, idk whats bothering you and thats okay but i hope whatever it is it works out for you :“) )

Ah yes. That’s what it boiled down to. Tomorrow morning Dan would board a train and take it up to Manchester to spend some time with Phil. The first time that they would see each other in real life, not just behind a computer screen. They had skyped before and texted and chatted for countless hours over countless days, but the thought of tomorrow still made Dan want to throw up.

He wasn’t good enough for Phil. He was just so terrified that tomorrow Phil would see that.

Dan ^-^ (11:06 PM)

After hitting send Dan thrust the lid to his laptop down and pushed it off of his chest, letting it fall onto the bed. Dan felt sick again. He was so scared about tomorrow because there were so many things that could go wrong and so many flaws that Phil could discover about Dan and so many, so many, ways for what is supposed to be the best day of Dan’s life to turn out to be his worst.

God, he hated his anxiety for always picking things apart. Always fucking with Dan’s own head.

Dan rolled over and grabbed his duvet, pulling it up and wishing that it would just swallow him whole. Fuck. He couldn’t do it tomorrow. He couldn’t handle this stress.

Taking a deep breath, Dan clutched his duvet tighter in his grasp and tried to keep his lip from wobbling.

Right now he just wanted to sleep. He wanted to forget that he didn’t feel good enough, that yet again his insecurities were screwing him over, that he wanted to cry. He wanted to forget. Unfortunately for Dan the universe didn’t agree and he ended up staying awake for hours after the he had closed his laptop, the entire time doing nothing but thinking, getting lost in his head, and wishing that his thoughts would just turn off.

For once.

Please.

~~~~~~

Dan slung his bag over his shoulder. His fingers felt numb. Unlike his greatest hopes, the fitful-at-best night’s sleep did nothing to alleviate Dan’s terror. If anything, it had only magnified it because now it was today and Dan couldn’t run anymore.

He took a cab to the station, and he ended up being earlier than he needed to be, having about an extra ten minutes to wait for his train. He sat on a bench, his legs nothing but jelly at this point, his fears making it quite easy to foresee his long legs from just giving out on him. Dan didn’t want to make an embarrassment of himself on top of it all, so he tried to calm his racing heart while he sat.

With no luck.

Of course.

Dan looked down at the ticket in his hand. It would be so easy to not go. To walk right out of the station, spend the weekend at home instead of with Phil, and not risk Phil seeing how utterly underwhelming Dan was as a person. He could lie, could say that he ran late, missed his train, maybe his parents changed their minds and didn’t let Dan go.

But God, as Dan looked down at the paper in his trembling hand, he couldn’t help but know that he wouldn’t be able to actually go through with not leaving. He wouldn’t be able to lie to Phil, not about something this big—who was he kidding, he had a hard enough time lying to Phil last night over something so small!

But more than that, Dan knew that it was much more than not being able to lie to Phil. He had wanted to meet Phil ever since he had started to watch his videos, and the sentiment had only increased tenfold with their fast friendship. Phil was now much more than a hero, much more than a few minutes of distraction. He was Phil, Dan’s AmazingPhil, and he was his best friend. That lanky black-haired boy was worth so so much in Dan’s eyes, and he couldn’t, couldn’t, leave him in the dust like that. God it wouldn’t just kill Phil, but it would kill Dan too. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

Dan had been thinking too hard. Before he knew it the train was pulling into the station and Dan gulped, raising on still-shaky legs and gripping the strap of his bag so hard he didn’t even have to look to know that his knuckles were blotched white.

As Dan took his seat, a new resolve washed over him. He would go. He would endure this train ride that undoubtedly would be the most anxiety-inducing thing he had done in a very long time—possibly ever—and he would do it for Phil. If Phil would reject him or not, he would try not to dwell on it on the coming trip (a losing battle, Dan knew), but he would still go.

For Phil.

~~~~~

Dan’s heart was going so fast he was sure that he was going to pass out. His hands, his arms, legs, his whole body was trembling.

Manchester’s Piccadilly Station.

Dan was here.

There was a decent amount of people on the station as far as Dan could see as the train pulled in, but none of them looked like his best friend.

The train came to a stop and Dan stood, the first to make it to the doors and there when they opened.

Strangely enough, when the doors pulled open and Dan took a step out into the station, he stopped trembling. His heart slowed—not by much, but it slowed—and this whole thing didn’t seem quite as scary. Sure, Dan’s thoughts were still screaming in his head, sure, his anxiety was still off the charts, and sure, his hands were still sweaty and his breath was still shallow but still. It was as if a calm had washed over him.

Dan wasn’t sure what to make of it. Maybe he was just going into shock.

People busied around him, walking this way and that, talking into cell phones, to other people, some silent. Dan, unsure of everything right now, followed where the general push of people were guiding him, the whole time craning his head, looking for his Phil. He tried not to panic. He tried.

But with every second the calm that had overtook him was shrinking and his anxiety steadily increased.

Did Phil forget? Did he stand me up? Oh God he’s not coming he didn’t come-

"Dan!”

Dan whirled around at the sound of his name, uttered by a voice that sounded so much better when it wasn’t distorted by their shitty computer’s speakers.

Before Dan could register really anything, he was being engulfed in a hug, two strong arms wrapping themselves around Dan’s shoulders, pulling him flush against the figure.

Against Phil.

And instantly all of the shouting in Dan’s head was gone. The slight tremble in his hands vanished, and for the first time in a week, his anxiety was gone without a trace. Dan felt like crying.

Dan gasped in surprise, his brain taking a moment to reboot because Phil didn’t forget, didn’t stand him up, didn’t change his mind, and suddenly Dan felt very, very stupid because how could he ever think that Phil would do something like that. This was Phil, the kindest person on the planet.

Phil pulled away, just a little, just enough so they could see each other’s faces, and Dan had to keep himself from pulling Phil back in.

His smile was so wide, easily the widest Dan had ever seen it. And his eyes, oh God those eyes were a thousand times clearer, a thousand times more mesmerizing than behind a screen. Dan didn’t doubt for a second that he could stand here and look into them for the rest of the day without tiring of their never-ending beauty. Fuck. Why did his eyes have to be so gorgeous.

Dan tore his eyes away from Phil’s and looked over the rest of him, from his broad shoulders that Dan wanted to wrap his arms around, to the tussle of his hair that Dan craved to run his fingers through and the line of his jaw that Dan felt the need to trace. Double fuck. Why did the entirety of Phil have to be gorgeous.

“Dan! I can’t believe you’re here! I have today all planned out; I’m going to show you everything!” Phil said excitedly, a twinkle as clear as day in his eyes. Phil was practically vibrating with excitement and it made a smile spread over Dan’s features. Phil’s happiness was contagious.

Phil stopped his rambling, looking down at Dan sheepishly.

“I mean, if that’s all okay with you. If you don’t want to do something that’s okay, I totally get it. We can do anything you want, I-”

Dan tilted his head back and laughed, laughed because Phil seemed nervous. Phil was nervous and it was adorable.

“Yeah, yeah Phil it’s all fine. All of it, don’t worry. I just can’t believe you want to do it all with me.”

Phil’s smile faded a little, and the twinkle in his eye got that much smaller. He looked a little sad.

“Was this what you were so worried about? That I wouldn’t like you?”

Dan bit his lip and looked down, giving a little nod.

Phil pulled Dan right back into a hug, but this time it felt even more real, and it was impossibly tighter. It felt like Phil was pulling all of Dan’s lost pieces together. Phil’s voice was in his ear.

“Of course I like you, Dan. You’re my best friend. I like you more than anyone else. Promise.”

Dan might have just felt like crying, in that moment. Phil accepted him. He wasn’t going to leave him. Things were okay. They were okay.

He knew that this would hit him later, maybe tonight when he had a chance to process things. He’d probably cry out of relief, but it would all be okay because Phil would be there to hold him together and ease all of Dan’s worries.

Soon enough they set off, hand in hand, and Dan was smiling so wide, so, so wide. He couldn’t have been happier with how things had turned out.

Dan looked sideways at Phil, trying to not be too obvious.

This had worked out so maybe, just maybe, something else could work out for him.

~~~~~

Dan stood at the window, a cup of coffee in his hand. It was early, and he could see the technicolor dream across the sky that was that morning’s sunrise. The steam from his coffee rose from the rim of the cup and slowly diffused into nothing; tendril-like hands wisped up and around Dan’s neck.

It had been nearly nine years.

Dan’s nervousness and dark thoughts never ceased to plague him, however, he learned to deal with it better. He could confidently say that he has never been happier.

It had been nearly nine years, and they were still inseparable. Their channels had grown exponentially, and they boasted an insanely large fan community.

As the years had gone by, their strong, unbreakable friendship slowly blossomed into something remarkably beautiful. Their long Skype calls turned into late night kisses, and they had been happily in love for nearly nine years.

Dan twisted the ring on his third finger. As well as being happily in love, they were also engaged to be married within the next year. Lately, he’d been waking up in complete disbelief.

The thing Dan had wanted so desperately to work out for him did, and in the most perfectly perfect way possible.

#submission

4 notes · View notes

familyvisionis2020 · 5 years ago

Text

Day 1 - Asheville (2 of 2)

We got to The Mothlight around 6 and loaded in our gear. The sound guy is kind, learns or names, gives more bass mix in the monitor when the singer asks for it. I see our band name on the big movie broadsheet sized monthlong show poster and feel excited. In Asheville we take a walk and make fun of the murals, I tell the band about the Asheville 11 riots and the vegan restaurant that used to hook us up and memories of the anarchist scene that fees antique on my tongue. Kabir passes the rose water spray and so I take off my glasses and spray my face.

There’s a green room beneath the stage floor with a ping pong table and two dozen Battle Star Galactica VHS tapes and two water bottles with pee and an abandoned rocks glass. I beat Kabir in ping pong, Jeremy beats me, I think about the basketball game I quit last month because I habitually got too competitive and hurt or upset someone every week for weeks. I’m still on the group text for that game but I have it muted but I still read the texts.

We go upstairs and I read the first chapter of The Left Hand of Darkness over the course of an hour on a dusty velveteen mustard colored couch. Labor and Jeremy and John socialize and I’m happy to be left with my book, the sunset comes, the bartender arrives with a fuzzy jacket on, turns down the lights, puts on a playlist, takes plastic wrap off of limes. I’m able to get my friend from Carrboro who’s visiting in on the guest list which is nice. I get to share the kit of the headliner which means nicer than usual gear and mic’ed drums too which sounds so solid and big when I kick. I bring my own breakables though: snare, cymbals, sticks.

I find out there’s a few arcade cabinets in the back, make a b-line to the 1989 Atari Tetris cab. It’s not my favorite Tetris iteration but it’s a good one, joystick and two rotate buttons, kind of a soft high score situation because you can feed the machine quarters and prolong a game indefinitely. The longer the game goes the harder it gets though, and I’m rusty so it’s still a challenge. It’s a joy to play. The ecstasy of order, the familiar grid and cascade; the solid thunk of the joy stick isn’t unlike the satisfying fullness of a mic’ed kick drum. With a dollar I put up a casual second place high score and stop short because the opening band, Yeller, is playing. The lead singer is a femme with a merit colored crushed velvet cape, exaggerated mascara that I would call ‘corpse paint lite,’ dainty lace socks, torn fishnets, middle length brown hair that’s pretty but that has split ends. They remind me of how I looked when I dressed femme in Philly in 2015. I miss the way my girlfriend used to treat me when I dressed like that; I don’t miss the way most other people treated me. I miss feeling superior to boys who dress the way I dress now. I think about whether or not I’m much of a feminist as I was since I have conceded the battleground of the aesthetic, since I won’t show up for that fight anymore. I feel a wisp if fear and I am very comfortable. Earlier Jeremy Sharéd his kimchi with me; he said sometimes he just eats a whole jr in a sitting. Their band is hard to describe, it is rock, there is some bass solos. It does not sound like black metal or power pop or glam rock which are the genres my mind assumed the singer’s outfit signaled. The vocals remind me of folk punk, which in my narrow experience tracks with Asheville. Here are people in the front of the crowd bouncing around to the music and they look like they’re having so much fun and I try to let myself dance how they are, I find myself stiff but not too stiff to bounce a little. My body hasn’t done this movement pattern in a long time. In 2010 I would’ve called these people ‘muppets,’ a derisive epithet used primarily to excoriate such people for their putative positivity, lack of dourness, loud outfits and their bubbly interpersonal comportment, something like crunchy twee. Or is it deportment? I’m unbound by rigor typing with my thumbs in the van on the way to Knoxville. It’s nice to write slower and imperfectly.

The opener mentions us before finishing up which fees nice. We set up, slapdash soundchceck, I set up the breakables, change into shorts, fill up a water bottle, settle in to the cage of hardware, make it to the throne only after nearly falling over the cables slopped over the stage like black spaghetti. Big black electric udon, and is it the amps or the guitars who eat the noodles?

Before I know it Kabir has done his intro banter and my body knows it’s time to start the set, and it’s my responsibility as drummer to count off the first song and luckily we practice plenty and so my body knows just what to do and we’re playing and it’s smooth and tight and I let myself loosen up and I head bang and make faces and bounce all around. I know I don’t need to but I think the crowd likes it and I know the band likes it and as long as I don’t get too carried away and forget where we are in the song then it’s a great way to drum as so fun and exhilarating for me. I’m not so nervous like I was last tour. The set is smooth, over before I know it. I pack up quick and try to be courteous by coming back on the stage to ask Kabir if I can help him break down and I carry his combo off stage and get some water. The set was 20 minutes and my shirt is soaked with sweat, it’s a little gross but I feel proud like I have proof I worked hard for my band and the crowd.

I go back to check out the headliner, Yawpers, mostly to be polite and not at all because I am interested in hearing them play. I catch up with my friend from Carrboro before it gets too loud to talk, he tells me about when he was in his early 20s trying to teach his daughter to potty train and not doing a good job because he didn’t understand, anatomically and ergonomically, how exactly girls peeing worked. I like hearing about the story and when the band cuts the conversation short it feels like a mercy because I don’t have to respond or find a way out of the conversation. I wish that I didn’t treat conversations like a trap. I want to not be scheming for a way out of connecting with people. It’s something I can work on improving. I bounce around to the headliner, they sound like Led Zeppelin I guess, no bass at all, cool effects on the vocals modulated by a hdand-operates effectsbpedal mounted on the mic stand. After ~2.5 songs I slip into the back room where he Tetris cab is, pull up a stool, feed the machine 3 quarters and settle in. I push earplugs in and wipe sweat from my palms onto my jeans. I feel really really happy. I love playing Tetris so much. I forbade it for the most part in the last two years, one of dozens of activities I associate with a less stable past, a throwaway activity in a life where nowadays I believe my time is valuable, where I avoid ‘wasting’ time, which is the only way I used to spend my time. It is silly and pointless to play Tetris and I am the best at, here and now. I’m in the zone, my mind feels sharp, the joystick is responsive, I shake off the rust and I am knocking pieces around and finessing rotations in a groove, in the pocket, rhythmic and precise ad drumming, plus with visual proof. I lose track of time! That never happens lately anymore it seems like. Out of the corner of my eye I see Jeremy has trickled in and is spectating from a respectful distance. I love this, I love showing a small audience my curious pointless skill, I play harder and focus and do well. I get out of tight jams with ease. My play is a silk tightrope, or like watching a diligent curling pushbroom operator and the stone slides just exactly right into place. And I do that over and over and when I see my score surpass the high score I point to the score on the screen and later I find out Jeremy captured this on his phone and that makes me feel special and talented and seen.

I finally die but only after I’ve beaten the old high score by 100,000 points, a solid and respectable showing of ~488,000 over 3 credits and about an hour of play. I’ve gotten more than a million points on this same cabinet at the Quarter Horse in Durham but it took more than Han two hours and closer to $5 in quarters if I remember right. I get off the stool and Kabir is losing his mind in that warm exited way he does over my play, tells me I’m incredible, he kept thinking I would die and I kept not dying. This reminds me of how I felt about myself almost exactly two years ago. I feel happy and healthy and hale and held and whole, Kabir gives me dap and somehow Yawpers has not finished yet. There’s a weirdly long spoken word soliloquy from the frontman about his cocaine habit, ex wife, their divorce, some other stuff. Evidently this band had a write up in Pitchfork describing their sound as ‘an expansive vision of Rock.’ Expansive is the watchword as their set tips the scales at about 75 minutes and mercifully ends. I get to introduce my friend from Carrboro to Kabir and watch them connect which is lovely.

We get our cut of door plus extra plus we sold merch so we leave in the black which to me is a shock bc im used to playing show costing money. Our band is good and people really liked it and danced and came up to us after and gave what get to me like sincere earnest praise.

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muffinsnotebook · 7 years ago

Text

Mac n Cheese pt. 3

oh wow, it’s really been a long time since my last update hahahuhu im so sorry. i also took a while before i posted it here too. (it’s on ao3, in case you’re a new reader)

pt. 1 pt. 2

Chapter 3: Waffles in Winter

Jimin pouts the entire time Seokjin takes tucking the three of them into bed. It’s a queen size, pushed to the far wall, with a bedside table propping the nightlight, and Jeongguk’s milk bottles, and whatever toys could fit. The rest of the toys are scattered all over the floor, where the toy box by the foot of the bed can’t hold them any more. A large wooden dresser holds their clothes - some spilling from half shut drawers - and a small bookshelf housing more foam blocks than children’s books, stands beside the tall window. It had taken an entire day to move all the children’s stuff into Seokjin’s guest bedroom, but he’s just relieved to have enough room for them all.

“Jimin-ah, we had a deal,” Seokjin reminds him. “I let you have a shorter nap time, and you guys agreed to go to bed earlier in exchange.”

Jeongguk wriggles on his side of the bed, next to the wall, tossing and turning under the covers before flopping down at last, yawning widely, “Milk pwease!” Seokjin pauses, quickly fixing him his milk bottle while Jeongguk impatiently makes grabby hands.

Taehyung watches his younger brother practically chug his milk with amusement, mimicking the way he sucks loudly with his lips puckered exaggeratedly. Seokjin and Jeongguk laugh, the former nearly tripping over a stuffed elephant on the ground.

Still, Jimin huffs testily. “But I’m not sleepy!” He whines, but then his lips wobble, and he lets out a yawn of his own. Seokjin smirks, carefully picking his way through the few other toys scattered on the floor, picking up dirty laundry as he goes.

“Well then you’ll just have to keep lying down until you do feel sleepy,” He says with finality. “Alright, lights out, kiddos. Good night.”

“Good night, Uncle Jin. Sweet dreams.” The three chorus in reply, even Jimin who says it with a bit more sulk.

“Sweet dreams. See you tomorrow.”

Jeongguk is first to conk out, as usual, his white jammies already riding up his stomach. Taehyung is quick to curl his arms around Jimin, and most nights, Jimin is grateful for the extra warmth and comfort that sends him effortlessly into Dreamland, but tonight isn’t most nights. In all honesty, it hasn’t been most nights for the past few nights. These nights, Jimin dreads sleeping - where his dreams are more nightmares, not of spiders or monsters, but of the cold, barren darkness from before.

But the worst parts are the bright flashing lights, loud noises and breaking glass, mommy screaming for daddy–

Jimin wakes up with a small cry. A familiar chilliness settles in his belly, but not even Taehyung’s hugs can keep it away. Jimin clambers off the bed, placing Poby the Polar Bear in Taehyung’s arms instead. Silently, he crawls over to sit in front of the window, peeking up at the sky.

Tonight, the moon is only half out, but there are thick clouds in the way, and Jimin can’t see even the stars. It’s dark, and the nightlight only makes Jimin feel more lonely, reminds him more of before.

Before appa and eomma.

Before Taehyung.

Before Sunshine House.

In truth, Jimin doesn’t remember much before Sunshine House. Not that there is much to remember. The days and nights blur together into incoherency, and the only thing that remains vivid is the closed door where grown ups would come and go.

Instead, Jimin remembers the day she - not eomma - left him. Jimin remembers how she had dressed him up in his one and only coat, the sleeves bunching up in his palms. He remembers her wrapping a red scarf round and round his neck - it had kept him warm enough despite his threadbare clothes.

He remembers the park. How the playground had been bare, the chains on the swing icy in his hands. He remembers playing in the sandbox, forming lumps of clay and sand for riceballs and drawing figures with a stick; remembers turning every now and then to show her.

He remembers turning around and finding her gone completely.

He remembers feeling cold - the kind that remained after the hot cocoa they gave him at the police station, wrapped in a thick scratchy blanket. The policemen behind the desks would take turns staring at him, making him uncomfortable, and every now and then, a lady police officer would come up to offer him water or snacks.

He remembers walking through the front door of Sunshine House for Children, remembers feeling tiny and even colder under the stares of the other kids. His bed is a futon among a dozen others in a big room, the blanket thicker than his old one, the mattress not as lumpy.

Jimin doesn’t talk much to the other kids, doesn’t talk much at all, except for when the adults ask him a question. Though polite, his answers are always simple, short words.

About a week in, the first snow falls at dawn, and the kids wake up to a good couple inches of fresh, white snow. Where most of the kids run around building snowmen and waging snowball fights, Jimin picks a secluded corner, near some bushes. There, he meets Lula - the resident stray cat, fur in soft patches of orange, black and white, and eyes bluer than the sky.

When the matron comes to coax him back inside with the other kids, she gets a heart attack. The notoriously feisty stray calico in their neighborhood hangs limply in Jimin’s arms, as though it has only ever been docile. The child turns with his charms on at full throttle - his droopy eyes wide and beseeching, lips full on pout - looking like the world would end if she says no.

That night, Jimin is given a thorough lecture about being careful around stray animals, as well as how to care for a pet himself, while they get the calico de-clawed and vaccinated.

Lula is the first friend Jimin makes.

Jimin likes Lula a lot - she doesn’t talk but she always keeps him company. She gets fussy with other people, but Jimin finds her anger familiar and calming somehow. He likes her soft paws better than stinging slaps and booming shouts.

It’s still hard to talk to the other kids - Jimin finds himself lost for words around them, finds his voice gone when they try to talk to him, finds his limbs frozen when they try to play with him.

There’s this one boy, though, named Taehyung - the boy who always smiles and is one of the loudest kids in the bunch, the one who sleeps in the cot next to his. On Jimin’s third night in the orphanage, he gets nudged right before he could fall asleep. It’s Taehyung.

“Can I sleep next to you?” He whispers, already tugging at Jimin’s comforter.

“Why?” Jimin sits up quietly, peering at the rumpled state of Taehyung’s futon.

“I can’t sleep.”

Taehyung fiddles with the frayed ends of his pajamas, his eyes are wide and he bites his lips shyly. It’s different from the typical bubbly brightness he exudes - which Jimin secretly envies - and Jimin finds himself scooting over, allowing Taehyung to snuggle up next to him.

When he wakes up, Taehyung has his arms and legs coiled around Jimin, but he only finds himself feeling perfectly warm, the coldness he’s felt in his tummy from before somehow gone.

On his second week at the Sunshine House, Jimin makes his second friend - his first human friend, Taehyung.

Taehyung is different from Lula. He’s loud and cheerful where Lula is quiet; always moving and talking and playing. But Taehyung makes him laugh with silly faces and weird noises, keeps Jimin warm with hugs and cuddles just when Jimin starts feeling left out. He never leaves Jimin alone for too long, and Jimin shows him how to give Lula a bath the way the caretakers taught him to.

In the day, Jimin becomes Taehyung’s shadow, trailing after him quietly as he plays and mingles with the other kids. Some days, Jimin is still too shy to stick around, so he settles back down with Lula, coloring or drawing or playing blocks, and sooner or later, Taehyung settles down next to him. It’s one of the few moments the caretakers actually see Taehyung settle down.

In the night, Jimin scoots to the left most side of his cot, makes sure their comforter is evenly spread. Taehyung snuggles close to Jimin, wrapping his arms around him as though Jimin is an anchor that keeps him from getting blown away. Jimin doesn’t mind; likes Taehyung’s warm hugs, likes waking up tangled in sheets and limbs, especially after long dreams of being alone in the dark on cold kitchen floors.

It takes several more weeks, but spring comes eventually. When they finally shed their heavier coats and scarfs for light sweaters, Jimin plays with the others like he’s been part of the group for years, smiles bright and warm like the spring sun.

It’s November now, and Autumn engages in a tug of war with Winter. To Jimin, it’s all the same; the nights are long and cold, but his tears don’t run out.

Spring still seems too far away.

Jimin tries to stifle his sobs, he really does. But he misses when appa read him bedtime stories - misses appa’s warm big hand on his head, misses eomma’s lullabies, misses forehead kisses. More than anything, he wants appa to come back. He doesn’t understand why appa needed to become a star. Jimin doesn’t need stars - they’re too far away for hugs and kisses and bedtime stories.

“Jiminie?” Taehyung whispers, crawling over to sit next to him in front of the window. Jimin doesn’t look up, only curls tighter into himself, knees pressed to his chest, face buried in his crossed arms. Taehyung clenches a fist onto Jimin’s sleeves.

“Did you get another nightmare?” He whispers sadly. Jiminie has been having a lot of nightmares lately; he gets woken up whenever Jimin begins tossing and turning, sometimes talking and crying.

Jimin shakes his head, sniffling. “I miss appa so bad, Taetae.”

Taehyung nods sadly; he does too. He looks up at the cloudy sky, and frowns. He glances at Jimin, biting his lip, before curling up his legs to rest his chin on his knees, too.

“I’m sorry, Jiminie.” He says softly, morosely. “S’my fault. I drew on the couch again today and I didn’t eat my vegebles. Daddy must’ve saw, and ‘cause I wasn’t good today, hid away.”

Jimin shakes his head again, this time lifting his head. “No, Taetae. It’s my fault, too. I made fun of Uncle Jin, and I don’t finish my food all the time. And we didn’t clean up our messes after playtime.”

They both quiet down, looking up at the inky grey and black sky.

“…It’s both our faults.” They say at the same time, sighing. Blinking, they turn to look at each other, then look back up at the sky. “We’re sorry.”

“Need to apologize to Uncle Jin tomorrow, maybe.”

“We’ll do it after breakfast. I’ll make sure to finish mine tomorrow.”

“I’ll eat more of my vegebles, too. After playtime, let’s clean up too.”

“What about the couch?”

“Ggukie started it! That’s his fault, too,” Taehyung whined, pouting. Jimin pokes his arm.

“Appa will know. You have to be good, too, or it won’t work.”

Taehyung pouts some more, but nods resignedly. “Fine, fine - but can we go back to bed now? The floor is cold.”

They get resettled - Poby the Polar Bear getting pushed off the bed - back into their tangle of arms and legs and pillows, Jeongguk remaining fast asleep through it all.

“Good night, Jiminie.”

“Good night, Taetae.”

Seokjin frowns, seeing Jimin’s puffy eyes. The seven year old is more sluggish this morning than usual, more subdued.

“Jiminie, are you feeling okay?” He asks worriedly, pressing the back of his hand onto the young boy’s forehead. His temperature is normal, and Jimin mumbles a small, “’m fine.”

Seokjin purses his lips, then turns to his other seven year old, who’s more bleary eyed than usual. Taehyung’s hair sticks up in multiple directions, his eyes still at half-mast staring blankly at the table. It’s a one-eighty from the usually exuberant boy that Taehyung is, and Seokjin’s worry meter goes up another one or ten notches.

“Taehyungie, did you not sleep well last night?”

Taehyung promptly slumps over, faceplanting onto the table with a small thump. Jeongguk cackles at his brother, reaching with stubby fingers to poke at his side. Seokjin watches with mild amusement as Taehyung whines, weakly batting out an arm in retaliation.

“Right, well, you can go back to sleep if you want, but only after breakfast.” Seokjin says finally, turning back to where he’d been finishing the last plate for breakfast. With a flourish borne out of habit, (and yeah, okay he might be putting on a bit of a show, but if the kids don’t bat an eye, then it never happened) Seokjin makes quick work of the berries, dishes them out into small bowls.

“Heads and arms off the table,” he calls plopping down the plates and bowls. Taehyung’s nose twitches, before he perks up in a flash, back ramrod straight even as his eyes remain half shut.

“Strawberries!” He yells loudly, prying one eye open.

“There’s waffles, too.” Seokjin replies, more than slightly amused when Taehyung’s eyes pop wide open at the breakfast spread, the boy digging in with a hearty cheer. Jeongguk is already cramming his cut up pieces of bacon and waffle, and even Jimin hums happily with every other mouthful.

Today, Seokjin’s decided to give the kids a treat, making hashbrown-stuffed waffles, topped with bacon slices and poached egg, along with a bowl of sliced berries. Taehyung eats only the strawberries after polishing off his waffle, handing the rest to Jeongguk as usual who happily devours the rest, his own plate already wiped clean.

“Dewishoos!” Jeongguk chimes happily through mouthfuls of strawberries and bananas. Taehyung pokes his side, and Jeongguk blinks at his brother, before he turns to Seokjin, saying “Thank-you Uncle Jin! Dewishoos food!”

Somewhere between Seokjin melting and preening at the praise, Jeongguk polishes Taehyung’s bowl of fruits, moving on to Jimin’s. And in what seems like a blink of an eye, the four year old manages to stuff six whole blueberries into his cheeks. Like a chipmunk. An oversized chipmunk.

The idea of a four-year-old Jeongguk-chipmunk driving him to bankruptcy with his bottomless pit of a stomach won’t quite go away.

On the bright side, today Jimin finishes his waffles, although he only eats half of his fruits (Jeongguk had gotten to them before Jimin could). But Seokjin decides to count his wins rather than his losses.

Progress is progress.

Soon, everyone’s plates empty out, and dutifully, the kids set their dirty dishes onto the sink - for the first time, without prompting from Seokjin. The chairs are tucked in with a bit of scraping, and Seokjin turns to wash the dishes, hearing the telltale pattering of feet and the opening theme of Pororo blaring from the living room. He assumes the kids are tucked into the couches - or likely goofing off and roughhousing again - so he’s surprised when he turns around to see Jimin and Taehyung still standing by the table, engaged in what may very well be a telepathic conversation.

“Boys? What are you two still doing here?”

Jimin and Taehyung turn to him at the same time. The solemn looks in their eyes make him pause, curious, but also slightly nervous. “Uncle Jin!”

He raises his brows, drying his hands with a dishtowel.

“We’re sorry!” They chorus, even bowing their heads at the same time.

Seokjin dumbly replies with an open mouth and a, “Uh…huh?”

“I’m sorry Uncle Jin,” Jimin chews on his lip, looking down and sideways and everywhere not into Seokjin’s eyes. “…I haven’t been a good boy.”

“Me either neither!” Taehyung chimes in, and while he looks determinedly at Seokjin, his hands fidget restlessly with the ends of his pajama shirt. “I should’ve finished all my vegebles and I haven’t.”

“A-and we didn’t clean up after playtime,” Jimin adds nervously. “Sorry.”

“The broken vase too, and the couch and the wall–” Taehyung looks at him wide-eyed. “I-I mean the vase and the couch, the couch, we’re sorry.”

“Uhm…? Okay…?” Seokjin replies unsurely, his brain still trying to catch up.

Jimin and Taehyung look up at him expectantly, pleadingly, as though he holds the key to their fate, and he simply isn’t well-equipped for this so early in the morning. He doubts he’d be prepared for this any time of the day this year, really - or ever. He clears his throat; motioning for them to come closer with what he hopes is a comforting smile as he crouches to their eye level, each hand on the boys’ shoulders.

“I forgive you both. I’m glad you boys are mature enough to own up to your wrongs and apologize - I’m proud of you, and I’m sure your parents are too,” His voice hitches a bit, and he tries to swallow the lump in his throat. Jimin and Taehyung look up at him so earnestly he fears he might just break. “But what brought this on, all of a sudden?”

The two look at each other briefly, then Taehyung says, “Jimin misses dad a lot, but we haven’t been good boys, and dad saw and won’t appear in the sky.”

Seokjin is stupefied. Struck dumb, dumbstruck.

“Taehyung misses appa, too,” Jimin adds. “You said if we’re good boys, appa will be bright and happy, right? We promise to be good today, so appa will be up in the sky tonight, won’t he?”

That’s when Seokjin remembers it’s been cloudy and overcast the past few nights, will remain so for the coming days due to a mild monsoon. There won’t be stars in sight for a few nights more, at the very least.

More than ever, he wishes he had an ounce of Namjoon’s intellect, so he isn’t left fumbling for the right thing to say to these boys. Or at the very least, the perfect way to explain to them that no, good deeds and perfect behavior have no sway against easterly winds and monsoons.

Then he realizes Namjoon had been the one who began all this stuff about stars in the first place (what was that about the road to hell being paved with good intentions?) and he curses his boyfriend instead for putting him in this dilemma in the first place.

Seokjin really doesn’t know what to say.

Does he tell them the truth and take away any possible comfort they might’ve gained from believing their father’s become a star?

He doesn’t get to make the choice. Jimin’s face crumples, and Seokjin realizes he’s been silent too long. Oh no.

“Please, Uncle Jin, we’ll be good, we’ll be good! We promise!” Jimin cries, big fat teardrops leaking down in his cheeks.

Seokjin quickly pulls him into his arms. “Oh Jimin-ah, I know you will - you already are. You’re such a good, sweet boy–”

“Then why won’t appa come out in the sky? Does he hate us?” Jimin cries out, his body shaking with every sob. “Why did appa have to leave? We’re being good, we promise, we’re good! I want appa to come back!”

“Your appa loves you, Jimin-ah, he loves you and Tae and Ggukie.” Seokjin replies thickly, his own eyes hot. “He doesn’t hate any of you at all - he could never hate you–”

“Then why did he have to leave? Why isn’t he here?” Jimin pulls away viciously, face crumpled and wet. “If he loves us why isn’t he here?!”

“Because he can’t come back, Jimin-ah.” Seokjin replies softly, his ears ringing with the very same questions he still asks himself - even when he knows better.

But broken hearts do not listen to reason, and Seokjin knows this well enough, too. Still, his heart breaks all over again when Jimin’s face crumples with a fresh wave of tears, running back to the bedroom.

He hears a wet sniffle, and Seokjin turns to see Taehyung, tears dribbling down his face, too, fists twisted at the hem of his shirt.

“I miss daddy.” Taehyung chokes out.

Seokjin smiles sadly. “I miss him too, Tae.”

“Where the fuck are my tenderloins?!”

The kitchen staff flinch collectively, but nobody dares to raise their heads. The senior staff heave quiet sighs, but the newer, younger hires - including their part-timer dishwasher - quiver in fear. The young commi in question, even more.

“S-Sir?”

“How long does it take an idiot to rub fucking herbs into a slab of meat?” Yoongi slams his meat cleaver, chopping off a whole duck into clean cuts, before rounding onto the trembling young staff. “This is a kitchen, not a petting zoo! Gimme that before you drop it.”

He snatches the tray of freshly marinated meat from the trembling commi, handing a junior chef the chopped up duck. “Deal with this before I blow my fucking fuse.” Yoongi mutters, shoving the tray into the preheated oven after double checking the temperature, then slamming it shut.

“Entrée, coming right up,” Hyeri, one of their senior chefs, says, sliding over a nearly finished plate of lamb chops. Yoongi grabs a clean teaspoon, dripping different colored sauces in swift, meticulous strokes onto the dish. At the raise of a hand, Hyeri dutifully hands him a clean dishtowel to wipe off any excesses.

“Done,” He says at last, Hyeri collecting it with a nod to pass it on to their waiting servers. When Yoongi turns, he spots the commi from before - a kid, really, probably still in culinary school - still standing where he left him. “What’re you standing the fuck around for? Make yourself useful goddamn; the lunch rush ain’t over, kid and those meats aren’t gonna be rubbing marinade on themselves.”

The young commi practically jumps out of his skin, before running back to his previous station, where Young Jae is braising two different pots, while heating up a new batch of oil for deep frying some fritters. Young Jae discreetly offers the young lad a sympathetic smile, before nudging him to check on his braised duck.

Yoongi is already sampling Henry’s fresh batch of sauces for another set of dishes, supervising the plating with an eagle eye. It’s another busy day at Eat Jin with the lunch rush in full swing, a steady flow of customers coming and queuing up, especially after they’d gotten a Michelin star. The stress and high tension isn’t new, but normally Seokjin’s around to ease things down a notch before the kitchen gets too heated.

With Seokjin on leave, however, they’re left under the charge of their sous chef. And while Min Yoongi is a more easy-going person than most, Sous-Chef-turned-Head-Chef Min Yoongi absolutely does not have an ounce of chill in the kitchen.

“Yah, Yoongi-ah, you’re gonna scare away all our newbies if you keep at it,” Hyeri says nonchalantly while she checks on another batch of grilled pork chops just as the sous chef comes to a stop at her station.

Yoongi doesn’t lift his eyes from where he’s chopping up short ribs for galbi with a steady BANG, BANG, BANG! “I’m a chef, not a babysitter; Jin’s fault for hiring sissies.”

“Yoongi-ah,” Hyeri rebukes sternly and Yoongi sighs testily. “Look, I know you’ve been stressed, having to take over as head chef, and we’re all worried about Seokjin-“

“I’m not worried about that idiot-“ Yoongi mutters and Hyeri rolls her eyes but continues.

“Look, I don’t expect you to break out one of Seokjin’s puns-“

“I’d rather die.” Yoongi deadpans and this time, Hyeri flicks his forehead.

“Yah, if you interrupt me one more time, I swear,” the older woman huffs. “As I was saying, I don’t expect you to start cracking jokes, but you can at least try to be nice to our commi - Sungjae did not deserve that tongue lashing, you know.

Yoongi stops himself from releasing the long-suffering sigh building up in his chest, focusing instead on seasoning the chunks of short ribs. “Yes, fine, Hyeri-noona.”

“Good.” She nods, just as a timer dings. She swiftly takes out the tray of perfectly roasted pork belly from the oven. “And could you try to turn down the cursing? At this rate they’re gonna be calling you the Gordon Ramsay of Seoul.”

“As long as no one makes a disaster of a sandwich, noona,” Yoongi replies, passing the seasoned ribs to Kyung Soo for marinating.

The rest of the lunch rush passes by in a flurry of more orders, clanging and banging pots and pans and boards and knives, Yoongi’s occasional curses mixed into the chaos. It isn’t until 2pm when one of their servers, Jackson, comes bursting through the doors yelling, “hyung, hyung, hyung! Yoongi-hyung this is bad, this is bad!” that things take an awry turn.

Yoongi inwardly groans. He really could not wait until Seokjin came back to take this shit off his shoulders. This was not what he’d signed up for two years ago.

Jimin doesn’t come out of the room until Seokjin tells him it’s almost time for lunch. He washes up and gets dressed dutifully, even making sure to tidy up their bed - but he remains quiet and subdued. Taehyung is noticeably quieter today too, leaving Jeongguk to do most of the chattering.

It’s absolute agony.

For once, naptime isn’t much of a struggle. Jimin and Taehyung fall asleep even faster than Jeongguk - who, thankfully, follows soon after.

Seokjin takes this moment of quiet to tidy up the living room, tidy up his own chaotic mind, tidy up his strained and tangled emotions. In the middle of cleaning, he spots a new scribble on the wall by the couch that hadn’t been there yesterday.

This must be the thing about the wall Taehyung had been apologizing for earlier. Seokjin smiles faintly, crouching to take a closer look, taking out his phone to take a photo for posterity (or, y’know, when years down the road, they bring home their crushes, or become famous idols or something).

Just in case.

It’s as he’s zooming out that he realizes it’s right next to the spot on the couch Jeongguk had drawn days ago - still unfinished. The one with his brothers and the moon and one tiny spec for a star.

Taehyung’s scribble suddenly seems more familiar, more coherent - a scribble that looks vaguely like a constellation.

That’s because it is.

It’s Orion - the three stars that form the belt, the arm raised high above its head, the bow. And near the tip of it, closest to the couch, the two blobs, the stars from Taurus. One bigger and brighter than the other. Right to the left of Jeongguk’s wobbly smiling moon.

It’s the star they’d claimed was their father’s.

Seokjin nearly drops his phone. He doesn’t know how long he spends staring at it, his mind at once a storm and an empty void. Somewhere in between, he gets an idea.

He calls Hoseok.

#mac n cheese #bts fanfic #mac n cheese chap 3 #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #park jimin #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kids! maknae line #guardian! seokjin #chef! seokjin #chef! yoongi #lmao min yoongi as the chef ramsay of seoul #stars and constellations

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choisgirls · 8 years ago

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RFA boys + V with MC being a teacher and all that comes with it. Like, for older kids a specialized knowledge about a certain subject and knowing teen stuff, and with little kids being up on all the latest "kid" things and always looking at (cont)

(Cont) toys and picture books and singing silly songs. And of course, the grading and lesson planning and kids who give problems and stress that comes on top of that. But she really really loves being a teacher and won’t give it up.

(Combined because ofsimilarity!!)

A/N: These requestsare so pure and I enjoy them so much but ive never seen how a teacher preparesfor anything so i went based on what a few things teacher friends/my dad told me and howi interact with my siblings and stuff ;A; ~Admin 404

*YOOSUNG:

-The two of you act like such kidsyourselves, but he absolutely loves it, you teach younger children and he cansee how soft and sweet you are to them!

-He actually enjoys some of the coolkid gadgets you check out for your class

-That cool robo-dog toy? He wantsone now

-ACTUALLY JEALOUS WHEN YOU GET ITFOR YOUR KIDS INSTEAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE IT’S NO BIG DEAL

-He’s actually sat in on a fewclasses of yours his butt actually fits in the little kid chairs

-The little tikes love him to death!They like to tease him about dating you

- though they all think he’s akid too just in a higher grade ;A;

-But sometimes kids can get rowdy,and he knows this

-When you come home stressed out,from kids misbehaving, he’s always there to lighten the mood! Tells you storiesfrom when he was a kid, full of silly sound effects, and he’s even borrowedpicture books from his mum to show you childhood pictures! It embarrasses himsometimes, but he knows that you enjoy the imaginations children have so itcan’t hurt to tell you, right?

- also lowkey shows up aroundsnack time when he visits because he freaking loVES THE JUICE BOXES AND COOKIESMC CAN HE HAVE SOME TOO

*ZEN:

-He knows how difficult teaching canbe, his parents were teachers

-SUPER. HYPED. When he found outthat you’re a HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA TEACHER come on y'all i saw the chance so itook it

-You actually went to school!!!! Foracting!!! That’s amazing! He’s a natural so he didn’t have to

-He tries to come to your class atleast once a week to give the students some tips (since he’s in the field andsemi-famous and all)

-IF YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE THAT YOULEARN FROM YOUR FANCY-DANCY SCHOOL, HE’D LIKE TO HEAR IT MC

-He dropped out of school and hadbad experience with teachers so he was actually really iffy about your job atfirst

-But the first time he watched youshine because of your passion for helping these teens, he knew you belonged inthis career

-But when you come home from a longday of teens being….well….teens, he feels so bad

-He was a rebellious teen so hethinks he can help talk to them about listening and respecting everything youtry to do for them he kept them for two class periods one day lecturing themabout how much respect you deserve and the kids all literally cried and huggedyou at the end of it jfc zen what did you sAY TO THEM

-Always there to wipe away yourtears, whether they be of joy or sadness, when your class puts on plays. You’reproud of your students but he’s always 10x more proud of you because heY MC YOUDID THAT, LOOK

*JAEHEE:

-YOU’RE A HIGH SCHOOL LITERATURETEACH MC? THATS DOPE COME TALK NERDY TO ME

-She thinks it’s so cool because!!!!The two of you can both really appreciate literature

-It’s like a personal little bookclub between the two of you, always talking about themes and deeper meanings

-Not to mention she lives for thedrama you over hear in your classroom come on we all live for gossip everynow and then dont judge me or jaehee and you can teach her all of theyounger lingo which she uses to understand a few of the interns at work

-When you’ve been up for hourstrying to grade papers, she’s always there to help with them

-Mainly because she wants to avoidyou bashing your head against the table because they’re all writing the samethings over and over again

-If she comes across something she’sunsure about in her readings you’re the first person she asks

-Love love loves helping you pickwhich books your students are going to analyze next

-Not to mention!!! You always haveall the newest books in almost any genre because of your job and!!! She alwayshas something new to read!!!!

-If your day was rough though, she’sgot coffee at the ready for you, the two of you are going to sit down and justrant about anything and everything that happened because hey kids can bestupid, she’s not gonna tell on you for pointing out the obvious

*JUMIN:

-He finds it absolutely adorablewhen you come home covered in paint, glitter, marker, you name it

-Calls you his masterpiece what asap

-Not used to being around kids buthe visits your kids as often as possible

-HE’S SO CUTE WHEN HE’S HELPING THEKIDS FINGER PAINT OH MY GOD

- they paint kitty whiskers onhis face sometimes and you’ve never seen him smile bigger

-They once asked him to build atower out of blocks with them and he took over the entire project, made areplica of the C&R building

-When the two of you are at home,though, he refuses to admit he enjoys it there with the kids. Complains aboutpaint on his white shirt, why are kids to loud, they’re so energetic what theheck, etc etc

-Always buying cool new toys andcraft things for your classroom- he knows how teachers are paid and he justwants to help out. For you. Not for the kids. its totally for the kids dontlet him fool you

-He never really knows how tocomfort you if you come home from a hard day with your class, so he usuallysits with your head resting against him. He listens to you rant abouteverything that happened, running his hand through your hair to let you knowhe’s listening.

-Never ONCE has he asked you to quityour job. He thinks teachers are important and should be treasured, and he seeshow happy the kids make you every day- he could never ask you to give that up buthey mc if you ever wants kids of your own, he’s got you, wink wonk

*SAEYOUNG:

-Teacher? lmao what’s that noteveryone is a freaking genius saeyoung shUT UP

-MC CAN I COME BY SOME TIME ANDLEARN I PROMISE I’LL BE A GOOD STUDENT saeyoung dont do that

-You were a high school computerscience teacher, and hello MC i could be of service saeyoung pls

-He came in as a guest speaker oneday and none of the students could keep up with what he was saying??? What’sall of this?? Mr. Choi can you please dumb down the lesson???

-By the end of class though,everyone (including him) were just drawing stupid pictures on MS paint sigh

-He’s actually really excited thatyou teach computers to teenagers!! Computers are great, MC!!! You can teachthem to hack! no saeyoung thats not what i do, thats you

-Sometimes he’ll play dumb and askyou for help with his computer just to hear your teacher voice (it doesnt workoften because you KNOW he knows what’s wrong)

-“MC, you can be the teacherand I’ll play the naughty student *eyebrow wiggle*” he walks in with aplaid skirt and knee high socks what a fucking doRK

-There are days that the kids justdon’t listen and do whatever they want, and it frustrates you to no end. Someof them were wrestling and broke a monitor once, and you had to call Saeyoung,break down and cry on your lunch break. He’s always there at the end of the daywith blanket forts and HBC to get you away from all electronics even for alittle while

-The next day though, he hacks intoall the computers in your classroom and scares the students into payingattention because what person doesn’t freak out when someone starts listingtheir personal information on their screen???

*V:

-High school dance teacher?

-Are you his soulmate MC becauseit’s really feeling like it

-He’s a dancer himself! (though hedoesnt practice it often)

-So he always offers to be yourpartner on days you’re teaching couple’s dances!

-He can tell how much effort andpassion you put into helping these kids learn the art

-You absolutely radiate warmth andexcitement if your class holds a recital

-HE’S ALWAYS THERE TO TAKE ACTIONSHOTS OF YOU AND THE CLASS BECAUSE WOW MC

-But kids will be kids, which meanssometimes there are attitudes thrown around

-Some days you feel as if you get norespect, and they do whatever they want to do, and it breaks not only yourheart but your spirit as well and he will not stand for it

-He’s very good at lecturing, andseeming nice with a threatening undertone. So when he catches something likethis happening, you can bet he’s in front of the class, pouring his heart outabout how much respect you deserve for all of your hard work and they shape upreal quick every time this happens. So he kisses you on the forehead and letsyou keep teaching

*SAERAN:

-You work with little kids all day?

-Why would you wanna do that toyourself jfc

-You’re always looking at cute, kidcrafts and he kind of wants to try them but he’ll never tell you that

-Very very afraid to visit yourclass because? He’s scary, he doesn’t want the little kids to be afraid of him

-But they WEREN’T. AT ALL. He couldfeel his heart melting at how much they actually liked him like holy crap MC iwanna come visit every day

-HE FINALLY GETS TO TRY THOSE LITTLEKID CRAFTS WITH NO SHAME, YES, SCORE

-The two of you are the power teamat story time, everyone is completely enthralled with the story, voices, andhow you act them out

-When you first told him that youwere a teacher for little kids, it made complete sense to him. You’re so sweetand kind and patient and bubbly and it just cliCKED WOW MC YOU ARE A TEACHER

-But kids have tantrums, and shortattention spans, and they’re very stubborn, so if you have a rough day, youactually have to calm him down instead saeran you cant threaten the childrenits okay im just tired ill be fine

-The two of you have naps on thoserough days, he’ll rub your shoulders to help you relax, and he actually goesout of his way to look up things for your lesson plan the next day!

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queerberrie · 7 years ago

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Even numbers for the ask thing!

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant? My ex, her name was Katie, and I would say it was, I don’t remember what situation it was in exactly, I was really struggling with being out of it during that time.4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? Last name my siblings and cousin and I were playing uno and sitting and laughing our butts off!6. What is your favorite season? Why? Autumn, I love it for the temperature, the smells, the start of a new school year, and halloween8. What color are your nails? black!10. What is something you find romantic? when someone takes the time to remember a small detail or just cuddling wrapped under a blanket12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad? there’s a million for both of those options, but one thing that makes me happy would be sitting at my grandmothers with a cuppa, and one thing that makes me sad would be seeing people be cruel to others14. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library? the forest for sure!16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? I wish I would be sitting outside a peacevalley park in the sun reading a book18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? Her intelligence and confidence20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what? hmmm, this is tricky, i tend to hold onto memories from people i used to be close with and no longer speak to and it haunts me, so i guess i need to let go of the past22. Have you recently made any big decisions? yes, actually i came out to my parents which was spooky! 24. What movie would you use to describe your life? i don’t really have an answer to this, but if i could choose a movie it would be howls moving castle26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…” happiness28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex? generally their lack of knowledge on what women are really like, and often their lack of understanding and being emotional30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it? that im unsure ill ever be successful or find someone to love32. Have you ever been in love? i believe i have, but only once34. Why did your last relationship end? I wasn’t into her anymore, and we had different maturities and i was over it36. When was the last time you cried and why? yesterday or the day before while watching the handmaid’s tale38. What did you receive last Valentines Day? A sunflower, and chocolate strawberries!40. Have you ever been cheated on? no i don’t believe so!42. Ever had detention? no!44. What do people call you? Will, Willabee, pillow, bubba46. How big of a nerd/dork are you? hmm, i’d say im more of a weeb but a definitely big nerd48. How tall are you? 5′6.550. Favorite fruits? bananas, strawberries, peaches, watermelon, pumpkin, mango, so many!!52. What’s your earliest memory? my first birthday actually, i remember a pair of hands setting a chocolate cake with white icing in a metal pan in front of me, and it was my grandfather!54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind!56. Do you save money or spend it? i used to save it, and i’ve been spending it a lot so i gotta start saving again58. What top 5 things make you the angriest? 1.ignorance 2.stubborness 3. lying 4. being unnecassarily cruel 5. people who judge others60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? it really depends, if i have a way to get another job, i’d help if i have nothing and am already really struggling i’d try to call someone to help and unfortunately keep going62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. that creepy cartoon of the heart from adventure time64. Do you like the beach? yes, but i’d like to experience it in the fall or winter66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it! noel68. Describe your hair. right now its above shoulder length, with an undercut, slightly dyed purple still and super curly70. What is your ideal partner like? this is hard, esp. since i’ve romanticised this for yeares, but someone i truly feel comfortable being around, someone i can talk with that we can be both silly and have deep conversations and is similar in maturity to me, someone i can be silent for hours, or stay up till 3 am talking, just someone like me and i don’t need a “tumblr relationship” just someone to be happy72. Do you want to have kids? unknown, but probably not74. Are you Chunky or Slim? medium to chunky76. What would you change about your life? maybe not doubt myself as much78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?hopefully my sweet college friends or jaimee80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? yes, my sweet friends bri, sean, bridget, claire and jaimee82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? it would really depend, we aren’t really on good terms, but if she needed somewhere to go ofc84. Do you like bubble baths? YES86. Have you ever danced in the rain? oh god yes88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning? what did matt send me, it’s too early to move, why am i already tired again90. How was your day today? so far good, i’ve been watching a program with my sister and grandma and had brunch of sorts and read92. Describe the what you think of the ocean. i love the smell of salt and the sun covering ur skin in a warm embrace and the continuous pound of the ocean, but ive also had plenty of scary dreams of the ocean being too big and taking over people and ruining towns, so i believe it is a beautiful part of nature but also a force to be cautious around94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be? hmmm, im unsure96. When are you vulnerable? all the time, but especially at night98. Do you like to go hiking? yes yes yes!100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities? no,no,no,no,no,no,and no. heights scare me lmao.

thanks for the asks! I had fun thinking about answers

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saviormysticmeme · 8 years ago

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ummmm..... I LOOOVE YOUR WORK （≧∇≦） YOU ARE SERIOUSLY SUPER TALENTED! Are YOU A GENIUS???? Sorry for caps...（´-`）If you don't mind, may I request an hc about the RFA + minor trio mistaking mc's twin for mc? Maybe they see her twin with another guy, so they ask mc about it or something... I just love love love your writtiiinngg~~~ I can write whole page! It's all so good that I they're all my favorite! (´Д` ) Sorry if its unclear/bad grammar... Bye（・◇・）/~~~

RFA + MTrio React to Mistaking CM for MC

Omg pls you guys are feeding my ego so muchAnd don’t worry about your grammar!! Grammar is the hardest part of any language, I cry when I speak anything other than English cause “How do say this”

Ok anyways

Some of these are going to be those totally cliché “Secret Twin” scenarios that are kind of angsty but I’m gonna try some more lighthearted ones too because I feel like the “I SAW YOU WITH ANOTHER MAN IM LEAVING YOU!!!1!1!” “Babe thats my twin” scenarios have been used quite a bit and I don’t want to pump out something that’s already out here

If you decide you want those scenarios instead though then let me know! Because if you just happen to reallllly like that specific case then I’ll do a short drabble focusing on that

Also sorry in advance for the Choi twin ones, I just feel like they would know about MC’s twin and I the writing for them isn’t up to par with the others but I didn’t want to postpone posting for much longer because of it.

Ok I talk too much lets go

Yoosung:

He’s walking by a cafe near campus when he sees you sitting across from another guy

He stops dead in the side walk and stares in the window

At first he thought you were maybe just..discussing something? With some guy? Who you never told him about…?

No he didn’t think that at all his brain went straight to the worst but he couldn’t bare to think it so he came up with every excuse in the book.

MC’s a spy and they have to kill this guy

He’s a new RFA recruit???

He’s a dealer and MC’s buying drugs

MC is secretly a vampire and just trying to eat this guy

Every thought bubble he had was popped when you leaned over the table and planted a kiss on the mans cheek

Yoosung heard his heart-

rrrng rrrrng rrrrng rrrng

He was going to say breaking but apparently his heart rings when broken?

He looked at his phone and your Caller ID was up

“Huh?” He looked from his phone to the window, where ‘you’ were still sitting and talking with the strange man

He answers the phone, voice a little shakey “H-Hello?”

“Yoosung? Hey! Sorry to call but on your way home can you grab soup. I’m feeling like soup for dinner tonight.”

….

“Yoosung?”

“MC…how are you doing this?”

“…Doing what Yoosung?”

“Are you a vantrilaquist?”

“Yoosung pls just what the fuck are you talking about”

“I’m staring at you through a window having coffee with another man…but you’re on the phone with me.”

“1. Yoosung that’s creepy that you’re staring at two strangers 2…”

His phone beeped and he looked down to see you sent him a picture of you sitting on the couch with a controller in hand, soda on the table, blankly staring at the camera.

He snapped a picture of the ‘you’ in the window and sent it back

“Yoosung that’s my sister and her boyfriend you egg”

“Your sister???? What???”

“I told you I had a sister!”

“NOT THAT YOU GUYS WERE TWINS”

“I assumed when you met her you’d be with me…not that this would happen. This is some TV style mess.” You chuckled, feeling a little guilty. Reflecting on it, you probably would have been upset too if you thought a look a like Yoosung was putting the moves on someone else “So……soup?”

“Yeah babe of course, what do you want?”

Jaehee

She was at the cafe making -cue Savior Meme going and making a post about Jaehee owning a musical theatre instead- a new brew when you walked in

She sees you and casts a warm smile and a “Hey Honey”

The person Jaehee thought to be MC cocks their head, slightly confused, but brushes it off as Jaehee being a very friendly Barista

The copy cat you stands at the counter, waiting about a minute before Jaehee realizes their presence at the spot

“Dear, what are you doing?”

The customer furrows their brows and responds slowly, somewhat confused “Ordering coffee…”

Jaehee chuckles, amused at you playing customer. She just shakes her head and walks over to the register

“Alright, what’ll you have?”

“I’ll have an iced Mocha with extra cream no sugar.”

Jaehee scribbles it on a cup and gets to work making the drink “Weird choice for you. Didn’t think you were a fan of mocha, you always seem to prefer vanilla”

“I do?”

“Yes silly, you always ask for French vanilla flavoring.”

“I ne-” Before your clone can respond though, Jaehee has finished up the drink and handing it over

As ‘You’ take the drink, Jaehee leans over the counter and plops a quick kiss on your cheek

‘You’ are frozen on the spot

Jaehee opens her eyes to see why you’re suddenly so frigid towards her, but when she opens them she can’t help but glance behind you and see…YOU??

“MC?” Jaehee jumped back looking between you and your look a like.

“MC?” Your twin turns to you, face still flushed from their sudden kiss. “Is this the surprise you had for me??? A super friendly barista??”

“Surprise???” Jaehee exclaimed, still looking between the two of you. “Wait you’re not MC???”

Finally you stepped in to clear the confusion

“Jaehee! This is my twin …. CM. CM, this is my new Cafe that I run with my girlfriend!”

“Girl..friend.” CM turns to look at Jaehee, at the same time the two of them realize everything that just happened concerning the confusion.

“I am so so so so so so so so so sorry” Jaehee can not stop apologizing no matter how many times CM says it’s ok.

Zen

It was opening night for his new show

He was pumped

Sure because of the show, but also because you had shot him a text earlier that day that you were going to bring your sibling.

Zen had yet to meet anyone in your family, so he was excited that you were going to start introducing him to them. It showed how ready you were to spend your life with him and that just made him giddy.

So after the show was over he couldn’t wait to find you

He scanned the crowd and eventually spotted you in the crowd with a bouquet of roses

MC is so sweet he hummed to himself

That was his sole moment of calmness before the storm

He watched as his coworker walked up to you and started chatting you up. Zen was on the other side of the auditorium, trying to push his way through the flock of people set on congratulating him, so he couldn’t run to your rescue as fast as he liked.

He was frustrated but he knew you could handle yourself

At least that’s what he thought until his fellow actor’s hand found it’s way to your hand, where the thumb gently brushed back and forth.

Zen’s face turned red, and the shade only grew deeper when he saw his douche bag scene mate’s mouth turn into a cocky looking smirk.

He found superhuman speed and agility to push through the crowd and end up right behind you, where he wrapped his arms around you tightly and pressed a long kiss to your cheek

“Honey, there you are.” Zen sounded so sweet while his blazing red eyes stared daggers into the green ones of his coworker.

“Zen? This is your girlfriend?”

“Yes, this is my girlfriend MC.” Zen squinted at the guy. How dare he pretend not to know, Zen only pointed out MC every time she came to a show. Every time she picked him up from rehearsal. Every time-

“You said your name was CM” The Actor turned a confused stare to the person in Zen’s arms

“I-” They tried to say but

“CM?” Zen questioned, he spun them around only to realize “You’re not MC.”

“No I’m” Cm tried to say

“Zen!” You interjected as you ran over to the 3. “Sorry, I had to run to the bathroom. CM thanks for holding the flowers. Speaking of which, Zen I see you’ve met my twin”

Zen’s face turned bright red with blush this time

He turned to his fellow actor and CM and started apologizing profusely

Jumin

He knew you had a brother….or…a sister? …or both?

He lied he had no clue, he just knew you had some sort of sibling.

He was unaware it was a twin

A twin who worked as an assistant for a company but was looking to switch, so when they saw C&R was hiring a new chief assistant, they threw an application in

So here is Jumin, just sorting through some applications when he sees

“CM PlayerPants”

He smirks at the paper, seeing all the information filled out is yours. Your home address, the general store you lived near, your school, graduation, etc.

Your picture was even you, just you in a suit and looking very hot professional

Now lets face it you and Jumin did some kinky shit sometimes

Sometimes your love life together involved role playing

Jumin was surprised at how much effort you put into this, but he wasn’t going to spoil it.

He types in the phone number, it’s not your usual cell number, what did you get a prepaid phone just for this?

He was in awe with your dedication

Rrrng rrrng rrrng

“Hello?” Your voice answered

He couldn’t hide the smirk on his face “Hello there, Kitten.”

“I-I’m sorry?”

“Oh my bad” He corrected himself “Hello there, Ms. Playerpants. This is Jumin Han from C&R calling about your application”

“Oh! Uh, Hello! Yes, what can I do for you? Does it need any clarification?”

“Oh no no no, I think I read you loud and clear.” He lazily flipped through the pages of the resume in front of him

“Oh..ok. Is this about the position then?”

“Yes” A smirk found it’s way to his lips “Speaking of which, what is your favorite position?”

“Excuse me? I don’t think I understand?” The voice on the end was clearly taken aback. Damn, you were making him work for this.

“Well I figured I’d give you a say in the matter tonight since you put sooo much work into this. So Kitten, tell me, what would you like to do tonight? Maybe I’ll buy some toys on the way home an-”

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU????” Click.

Jumin just stared at the phone confused. He shrugged it off because his desk phone went off, and when he answered it was his father calling him to a meeting. Jumin resolved to just handle whatever happened with you when he got home

After a long work day he came in the door to see you waiting for him. “Hello Kitten.”

“Hey Babe, how was work?”

“Good, aside from this strange phone call I made today” A small grin on his face

“Oh?” You cocked an eyebrow.

“Yes,” He purred as he walked over and started rubbing your shoulders “I thought I had found a new assistant”

“OH!” You exclaim, jumping up and remembering something “I forgot to tell you this morning! My twin is applying for the chief assistant job, it completely slipped my mind.”

“Your…twin?” Jumin cocked his brows now

“Yes! CM!”

“C….M” Jumin was quick to catch on to his mistake “Oh my god”

Seven

Lets face it

You guys may be sick of hearing this but

He knew

Of course he knew

He stalked the ever-loving-shit out of you

He saw photos of the two of you together

He insists on you and your twin joining him and Saeran out for lunch all the time

You guys have the certified Twin Club in his brain

The 4 of you spend so much time together Seven can tell the slight difference between your hair and your twins. How your twin is about a centimeter taller. Your eyes are a little more wide. He knows.

Which is why he isn’t caught off guard when your twin and you show up in the same room

He’s not confused when he sees CM out kissing someone

He knows

He loves it

#TwinSquad

His eyesight is so bad he has mini heart attacks once a week thinking he sees you out in public holding hands with someone else

Over time he stops freaking out, he starts to recognize you easier, which means he can play ‘Spot the Blurry Difference’ a little better when you two aren’t together

Until one day he’s on set doing a photo shoot for a Modeling company that requested his help

And he sees…MC? With a headset on ordering some people around to do this and that.

The voice is the same. He knows MC’s voice damn well.

And that is MC

“MC..” V quietly calls out but with no answer.

‘MC’ Disappears into the crowd of models

What the fuck. How could you not tell him? He was a little hurt you never shared your work life with him. Was this where you were when the two of you weren’t together? Did you think he wouldn’t be impressed because he usually focuses on more artsy photography??? Did he say something??? MC please why don’t you love hi-

“Hey Hun!”

MC!? V whirled around to see you, but you were talking to one of the models, very flirtatiously he may add. Your hand on their arm and a sweet, sweet smile on your face as you looked at them. He could see that much.

He felt his heart break a bit, how could you pretend not to even see him?

No. No this couldn’t be you.

Jihyun Kim trusts and loves you and refuses to believe you’d be evil *cough*LikeHowHeTrustedSnakeBitch*cough*

He marches well marches as good as you can while visually impaired up to ‘MC’ and taps them on the arm.

MC turns “Can I help you?”

“I’m sorry, but you look extremely like a friend of mine. Her name is MC-”

The set director in front of him suddenly seems much more friendly “Oh! That’s my twin! Wait, are you V?? MC mentioned they were dating a photographer I didn’t realize it was the one we hired for today! Oh, I’m sorry, Hello I’m CM!”

Relief. So much fucking relief on V’s heart.

Vanderwood

Neither you nor Vanderwood were aware that Seven was being devious today

He had been scarce all day, leaving the two of you to go through the day in overall peacefulness. You guys had spent a bit of time together, but eventually you got up to start cleaning and doing some chores.

Yep that’s all normal

Until you suddenly walk in the door you did not leave out of

“MC?” Vandy stared at you as you looked at him, then walked straight back out the door you just came in

Then you walked in the door he thought you originally left from.

You crossed the room and into the hall, out of site. He was left a little slackjawed and confused

Then you entered from the door he just saw you enter from. Wait what

“MC how-”

You giggled and ran out another door

Only to come back from the hall

“OK LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK”

His outburst made you jump

“Vanderwood wha-”

Two doors behind you silently opened, and two almost carbon copies of you peaked their heads through and shushed Vanderwood

He was speechless and just violently pointed trying to get you to turn around, but by the time you did the copies of you were gone

“What in the fuck-”

“Vanderwood what is-”

“Yeah Vanderwood why-” An MC copy asked running in from the hall

“What’s going on?” Another one said coming in from a room

“What the” You looked around and Vanderwood was rubbing his eyes like crazy trying to get whatever form of psycho out of them.

Upon further inspection, you realized one of your clones didn’t look like you aside from the fact they were wearing your clothes and had on a wig that looked like your hair “Seven?”

“You got me! Lucky~~Aha~!” Seven cheered pulling the wig off

“So who is-” Vanderwood looked to the last copy

“Oh, I’m CM! I’m MC’s twin. 707 asked if I would help him out with a little prank and I couldn’t say no” Cm giggled.

You all had a good laugh

Except Vanderwood

Saeran

Ok, you guys might hate me for this one

But

I feel like he also knows

I feel like Seven has told him, and dragged him out on the #TwinClubDates

There’s no way Seven wouldn’t constantly talk about you 4 being goals

He takes group pictures of you guys all the time

He shows Saeran photos of CM constantly asking if he and Saeran look more alike than MC and CM

Buuut

Even though Saeran knows, he’s totally fucked up before

I bet he’s accidentally kissed CM before when MC’s in a spot then leaves only for CM to be left standing somewhere close to where Saeran last saw MC

He’s definitely had to play the “Which one am I dating” game when you two first started going out. And he has failed and accidentally grabbed Cm’s hands, causing you two to giggle despite Saeran’s obvious saltiness

I’m sorry. This one is really weak but I don’t really have any ideas for it because I feel like Saeran wouldn’t make a big slip up since he’d know MC had a twin cause of Seven.

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comfortmarvelimagines · 5 years ago

Note

4, 5, 9, 11, 13, 16, 18, 23, 29, 49, 43, 50, 51, 53, 57, 58, 72, 93. sorry i know it’s a lot but i’m super indecisive

holy shit thank you !!! i kinda want a distraction rn so this is perfect

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

going off what they said to my mum at parent-teacher interviews, i was disobedient (i’d finish my work quickly, go back to reading my book, and then refuse to do any additional work), too loud (i had no idea how to regulate my voice volume), and had no social skills (this actually happened. what was supposed to be a 10 minute conference turned into half an hour of the teacher telling my parents how behind i was, and my dad yelled at me for it when he got home bc ‘how i act reflects on him’. i was 10 years old).

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

fruit !!!! i love mangoes and bananas and nectarines and passionfruit and when im cutting them up in the morning and i smell them OOFT i am a happey. my friend got me a fruit candle so i can smell it whenever i want now !

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

realistically, nothing. my routine this year is WHACK and its different on different days and apparently, according to my brain, if there’s no time for it on one day then there’s time for it on 0 days. throw in the fact that im still trying to recover from my ED and its a fun mess. that being said, this morning i made myself eat; i had banana, blueberries, strawberries, a blueberry bagel with peanut butter and some coffee (and maybe it was the only thing i ate today besides some veggies for dinner but it was before 10am hence breakfast)

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard. my keys are on a smashCon lanyard from last year, with a bunch of pins bc my pins kept falling off my bag

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cross legged (except its more like a lotus pose, im way too hypermobile). idk if its a sensory/autism thing, but i absolutely cannot sit with my legs flat on the floor, and i dont really like chairs at all. i like my desk chair though bc its kind of like a bucket seat, and i chose it specifically bc its a perfect size for me to cross my legs comfortably and be able to work at my desk

18. ideal weather?

sunny, but not too sunny. slight warm breeze. not so bright that there’s glare. around 21-25 degrees celsius.

23. strange habits?

dude. i’m autistic w a bunch of other mental health and just a fucken weird personality. i got strange habits from the second i wake up to the second i go to bed

29. best way to bond with you?

accept me as i am. understand that there are some things i do differently, especially in regards to communicating. be patient and try to learn how i connect. i promise i’m trying to meet you on your level, but you gotta meet me on mine, or else you’re gonna get the facade i put up so people will tolerate me

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

HOODIE. i love having things on my head, so when im overwhelmed, hoodies are my substitute blanket. i’m also really picky when it comes to materials and i especially dont like anything too stiff, but i did recently buy a denim jacket that’s pretty soft so i’m trying to get used to that

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

i don’t really have one?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

uni, the fact that i’m currently exhausted and burnout from my jobs and volunteering and study, the fact that im super isolated socially, i feel like im not good enough for my course and i dont deserve a place in it, and the fact that my mum wants me to go to the dentist but dentists are absolute hell for me and i just. cant deal w that right now

53. what is the current state of your hands?

really short nails, and callouses on my four left fingers from strings (the short nails are also bc i scratch myself). the fingers on my left hand are stronger than my right, and i have three crooked fingers from when i broke them in separate incidents in HS. i have indents from bite marks on my left hand. my hands are super cold, not just bc its winter but they always seem to run colder than everyone else. they’re also really dry, a combination of winter and the fact that the packaging that my work uses in stock boxes makes them dry ? its really weird + also bad stim

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hhhhhhhi wouldn’t say i’ve fully ‘overcome’ all of these but 1. making it through high school and living to be an adult- i’d always assumed i’d be dead by 16. i spent most of high school suicidal and without appropriate help. 2. performance anxiety. this sounds dumb, but mastering this has allowed me to pursue the degree i always thought was a pipe dream, an impossibility. i’m in a place now where i’m doing what i want, something i care about, and i actually don’t regret waking up every morning because of it. 3. managing to navigate things like the crowded city, buses, work and classrooms every day. i’m a massively sensory avoidant person. post high school, i literally didn’t physically leave the house from a combination of depression but also not wanting to deal with overstim when it wasn’t strictly necessary. on one hand, i know im pushing myself a bit, esp when i get physically sick from being constantly overstim with no breaks during the week, but i’m also proud of myself for trying to manage these things now instead of doing everything in my power to avoid them

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

i’m good at looking after my dog, and loving my dog (and he loves me back so a talent worth having. i think im good with most dogs but ESPECIALLY my dog). i’m creative; i’m a musician, i’m a visual artist, i write, i’m constantly coming up with things. my brain is good at finding connections and memorising content just by understanding. i dont really think i have anything else

72. worst subject?

MATHS. my hs made me take it all the way to year 12 and i absolutely fucken failed it (im not kidding in year 10 my highest mark on a test was 38% and it really didn’t improve from there)

93. nicknames?

charles, and basically any way you can wrongly pronounce my name (e.g, chorlie)

#charlie answers #Anonymous

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2sevenkristens · 6 years ago

Text

The thoughts of a highly famous gal or chap - writing deeply of the raw longing for what we call a normal life- withdrawn from the spot light- not just a couple lines stitched together but a bleeding cry- a 69 flip of the slippery (unstable curiously). An Alcoholic mudhole<that kind> the writing of the stuck(or maybe not)- just show me the wiggling wonder of an unknown existence. What is it like to run on the only thing you know neatly? The Keen Kernaled Firecap. The flame in those lilacs descend as a stranger in my chair - In my pile of change on the floor in my Samaritan stainshed. At random we gallop- in our grape soda "Ballerina Sometimes". Our Lulu respirators. Yanked and slanted- All the Hank scorpions of a Razoring Reprinting- remalping spun chimes into our razzling neighbors boomstamps. The exchange of pudding and soupsounds-their recipe books- balking-in the house of our breakthrough we chant. Champion sonnets for our vigorous debate. We race in fort Brag (shut your damn cloudgrip) *oh grant me A Serenity* And We stick forks in the graves of the animal house- (Stack your monkey for the local farmers) Stack your monkey. Stamp your cunt with stickers of Disney characters- (don't tell me what to do) But treat me as I am. Bury yourself alive in Bettys Humble Cave. The sketch is vital. The sketch. Figure out your mean Mister . - Water this mold -shiver in your panicroom- for I love it there- invade the bug there. Slave to the snare. "I went through a Bad break up - and became a belly dancer for six weeks"- -Something Devin said on the R5 train- we were sitting on the side the sun met directly -me at the window-head against the glass. Casted and sailing and listening to Some Silly Crusher- her old adorable band in the garage- puffer lodge. Sparkled duck in the disco scrab. She wore a hat with animal ears- cute Caligula on exit mode. Songs about sex- acid rocked teenager playing fanboy line1. Ha! Fuzz. Here were two little girls in matching Japanese pancakes bopping at what we did -what we said - how we were pranksters- pins-pins- Alone. I smile when I think of our cared marshmallow horizon. Clicking our red shoes to the rhythm of the Louie Roses. More fuzz. -and some things make me laugh, Mrs Stiff and Squalid lashes. Got it? Its these small pickles of time condensed and skewed by our barnacle language. I dig MY OWN fingers into it- stroke the letters and BAKE them into my o- Into my own- Skulled cards. Read them Mrs. Muzzle. Flip your stupid grilled cheese sandwiches and look at the world's fat pink backhand- Put on this jacket of smacked lessons- so that your grasslands will grow and grow and graze over everything that is complete and sacked with carcass garbage. I got off the stuff. Needles in the trash. LISTEN UP. I did it okay and can laugh laugh laugh all I want to!☆ Take a plunge my Lady Locked. Look at me unchain myself. Look- see that it's real. Run into your own shiver. Shake the jukebox like your riding the best cock of your life. Like your riding the best. Hard knock. Knox Ride Woman. Crack those knuckles. -Women. Hopellessly devoted to the tightening up- to the unbuckling. Udon - seringe- violet snake. I am Needless- only for his rushing - rushing medical attention. Lumbered. Mastered. Mouth. Mumbled. Sedated. Sucked. Sore. Sorry. Im a Silly little brat. Still wining. Still looking at Your Hunt - Still looking at Your Ghost And the I heart huckabees cornucopia collie- Unstable in the bakery. Unstable in this bakery. Back with you at my high school job. My skirt is falling down as the phone ring rings - ringing past 3. Swung to all four of This Rooms Corners. My hands have dough dusted along the crev. Life lines filled up with the white. Oh Man. Youre pulling it down. Boss is gone. Doomed (in the corner i am) Spread like Marie's fine drapes- Then drug out by your invader. Caked. Situated in a drowning for your Pynchon diagram. The Last laugh- the last cry- so what ones going to be better? Both tennis balls being slacked by your racket- spanked by your partners. Shooting saliva -smock samples all over the floor. Beat by the sun- stomped by those gum souls. Chest breaking. We are Dead in the middle- Ha ha- you mangled- silly mango. Such a meaty texture. Suching. Seven sighs. ×Parking lots in the evening× "I am sorry to hear that you are unhappy with the work you are not doing" -again- I am laughing- Carter skips jokes in the air like rocks on the water. Slump. Yeah I complain about more than- [sink lower]- more things than just the W E A T H E R

Extreme in its soaked bag of a cloak-father. The Immediate dose- of hot thick suds in the veins. Spap me up. Soap your fingers up inside of me. We are drowning. Defend yourself. Make yourself think u can control me- can you? Send me off with your spoons. Gonna hit up my friend now- Jump in the van Time for sad piano. And we all drive in this rain And all the emerald leaves make out like French girls (palms around the cone- tounge gliding the cream) She is cut out to be teaching Him too- and probably me- let's all spin ourselves so fast around on the playground together. Let's make ourselves sick and forget our big big uncharitable dreams. Because we lust so bad for living- so let me brush up against these things I want so badly- almost lose them- throw them in the backseat of the car- clean up- vacume the car- find the things- thumb tack them to my boards- my chest- drag the tacks down. Carve out. I will show you me doing that. Again- can you? *watch*- can ya watch now- Sweaty doll- ripple me soft. Rip the rug from under me. I sware to God- M83 Godzilla- You will meet her absolutely. Haron Ontario Michigan Eerie Superior. Swung from the branches of all their rock hard-packed veins stemming to the ether- always racing out there away from our sunny land -magazine. Oh Ethan Tramadol - put us to sleep in the Lakes Lundragon. Snap our necks on the sandstone pie crust around it's ex- Next lover. Pierce our genitals. Pound our vox to the Yeasayer. Hit so hard it's black now but hey Hit so hard i am back now But hey Five seconds of the look on your face when I charge a fireballed- eye core. When I say goodbye and you fall out. When you go down my (Fuq- you know what you do) Some people listen - touch themselves over that five seconds - Five seconds stretched - looped and pulled- tugged- bulldogged delerious. It was those five long seconds of how she responded- how she didn't know yet- the way it made her grind against the wheel. Wilming around all hot and boilng - a bug in the pot. Unfixed under the hot wax of your cranked rhyme. Interupt this. Make yourself available- then dont- again back and forth we turn this glock. Licking limbs for a converged - silver death. Bubbling Moth. Mulp. SLing cuff. (It's discing) Straight through me shooting paper airplanes through the tinsel tolls- quiver in the stables. A Sorting spudged light driphouse- clipping in a couples pop. Jamming butterscotch oxygen - Smudgeing these suffering thighs on torched - testy freight trains. This skull(rather). Skum ray. The Scallion rape in stages game . Batter on the field sinner stays pillow tape- It's here- drooling. Pink bows on the stains. okay My Leading Knightfall- you jet velvet connotation-I know you see my PALLETS. Look the other way- fill up your boots with gauges. Cage yourself. Bail your hurt for Melody to write about- masterbate then write about you're misbehavings on Rye. B side companions This Company car Like when Benny got off the stuff and betty got a job as a waitress - ( Bukowski knows it like I do)- scissors resting over our friends over ourselves. There is no Benny - bettys Mandy- Mandys your sister and everyone's your hiding place. We Write your faggy clasping fantasy all over your calves - i drain your statutory release so you don't murder 45 people even though you need to. I need to too. Take care of it in the slits of our creations- my creature. My slame. And Mom and dad were fighting again. Mom shoved dad into the book case - every single book fell off the shelf except for a book about - ((inhales)) ((Shakes head- shakes the weight off)) ((exhales)) ((nods head))- The one with all pictures- all those places that dad went. A book of slides. He showed us all of them on the wall. Every color cut it's life into the plaster. Plugged into his traveling tremendous. I was barely aged. I was Unaware of this life but was injected with the purity of it and it's journey towards the same thing that sat between my ribs and my fingertips at 6 six years old- 5 years -4-3-2-1- - - there. Slap me up into it Lover- take me to the wall- to the pixels- Mix it up with your cum on the bed sheet- Punish me in the night so I can cry for the places I miss and yearn for. You want the same. I don't give a shit what it looks like- tell me what you need to get there. How bad do you want to go there. Show me how you need me to be. Shove me- Bend me to your whistled fireplace. Time is shit here. Keep undressing me. Look deep into my pools. They've been raped - rung out by a uncontrollable spasm. That cool? It was The first book that made me realize I was broken. Dangling in the midst of a message threading itself back into my bones where it came from- birthed by the lips of my sick- lumpy fate. Dad met me here. The washroom of Our Home

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