#im just blind as hell
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shadebloopnik · 7 months ago
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Unrequited/One-sided Radioapple but it isn't treated like an angsty end of the world thing.
Imagine they slowly get closer after all the banters, and eventually becoming close friends. Lucifer ends up catching feelings for him, and after a long while, decides to confess and ask Alastor if he felt the same.
Alastor admittedly does not feel the same.
He's getting uncomfortable, struggling to keep his composure because he's DONE this before. He KNOWS how this ends. He remembers Vox and all his insistent declarations of affection and desperate pleas for Alastor to reciprocate; the possessive entitlement. He remembers how all those sickly sweet words morphed into something venomous when he didn't give the lowlife what he wanted. He remembers the anger, the ridiculous notion that it was Alastor's fault why he was so mad, that Alastor led him on and that he obviously deserved something in payment for it all-
So yes, Alastor knows how this ends.
It doesn't mean he isn't disappointed though, because he actually LIKES Lucifer, far more than he ever did Vox. Perhaps not in the way the king might have wanted, but he did. He treasured their little talks, their drinking sessions, their shared love for their instruments, Lucifers singing, their little duets, the banter, the playful jabs, the sparring.
He'd even slowly grown accustomed to the other's touches, not feeling the same surge of disgust and discomfort whenever the shorter man would grab at his arm in excitement, forgetting his usual thoughtfulness of Alastor's touch aversion for the short moment of whatever distracted him. Alastor even enjoyed it at times, relaxing at the feel of soft feathers beneath his claws, or the sensation of gentle scratches against his ears.
Difficult as it was to admit, Alastor had grown to care for the angel, the same way he had for Rosie orv Mimzy.
But no matter how fond Alastor was of Lucifer, it didn't change the fact that he didn't feel the same way romantically, or even sexually. No way in the 7 rings of Hell was he going to lie to Lucifer about either, not going to even entertain the idea of pretending he reciprocated for Lucifer's sake. He respected his friend too much for that.
So a clear, direct rejection it is. It was a shame, but nothing could be done. He said his piece concisely, and waited, shoulders set, back straight, smile and eyes a careful blank canvas as he prepared for the inevitable.
Lucifer nodded, a normal soft smile still in place, "Thank you for your answer, it means a lot."
Which......what? Alastor expected an outburst, or at the very least sharp words.
What he did NOT expect was....acceptance? And not just that but, a happy one? Contentment?????
"You're....alright with that?", he had to ask, he had to. Lucifer was clearly just very good at masking his upset.
But the damn angel just smiled?? And it didn't even look fake, just as bright and soft as his normal smiles, albeit a little confused?? Lucifer smiled at him, his brows furrowing in a bit of confused disbelief, as though Alastor is being the weird one here.
"Uhh, yeah??? Why wouldn't I be??? Yeah I may have some feelings for you but its not like you're obligated to feel the same. Above anything else, we're friends first and foremost and i'm alright with that..."
Then he seemed to have reached his own little conclusion as his words trailed off, because suddenly Lucifer's eyes widened in realization of something, and his words picking up with a sense of panicked urgency.
Alastor would really like to know what Lucifer's supposed realization was about himself because he had absolutely no clue.
"I mean, we ARE still friends right?? I don't- I- I hope this doesn't like- change your opinion of me. You're not- oh gosh I'm not making you uncomfortable am I? I- I won't mention it! You can even forget this whole confession ever happened! We can just go on as before! I don't feel any different or would act any different! Honest! I mean, I don't regret confessing because you deserve to know and I'm not ashamed of my feelings, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable! It doesn't change the way i'll treat you! Or change any aspect of our relationship! I don't even think I like you more as a lover than as a friend! I really, really do love our friendship, it matters more to me than any thoughts of being in a romantic relationship with you! So please just forget it all-"
Alastor let the word vomit wash over him, every word leaving him more confused by the minute.
Because yes, there's the desperation he expected, but...it was more about, convincing Alastor to remain friends?? Reassuring Alastor that nothing has to change?? That their friendship is the most important thing here??
(If anyone asks, no Alastor's heart didn't swell. Only lesser beings would have had the urge to cry, and Alastor is anything but.)
Lucifer is unknowingly reassuring Alastor of every single one of his insecurities about the situation. Because Alastor DID want to remain friends, he cared too much about the man to let it go so easily. It was rare to find people who treasure friendships above romantic relationships.
"I don't tend to forget easily, nor will I forget this one in particular.", he spoke, finally finding his voice. At Lucifer's defeated, pained expression( is their friendship really that important to him?), he continued. "But....yes. I'd like that.. To remain...friends."
He didn't often say the word out loud, being comfortable enough with each other that it need not be reassured with the label. But with Lucifer brightening up like his namesake, relief and happiness palpable, Alastor felt no qualms at declaring their friendship out loud.
So life went on as usual. True to his word, Lucifer remained basically the same. The following weeks were a bit stilted for Alastor, as he put some rather painful distance between him and the angel; limiting their interactions, their usual touches.
Anytime now, Lucifer would break and show his true colors, Alastor would think, waiting for the boot to drop. Lucifer would end up angry, and dissatisfied, and that was that.
But it never happened. Lucifer never expressed discomfort when Alastor avoided him, seeming to be understanding of the others need for space. He was just as affectionate as before, though initially a bit held back, as though gauging Alastor's comfort.
Months would pass, and the king never faltered. Their friendship remained strong, if not growing ever closer than before. Alastor found himself even growing more comfortable with the man. Affectionate touches were becoming common, hugs and head pats and cuddles being a welcome thing, with the reassurance that the shorter king would never disrespect his boundaries.
Lucifer seemed genuinely happy about it, despite being clearly told that none of Alastor's actions hinted at anything romantic. In fact, he seemed ecstatic that Alastor was getting more affectionate towards him as a friend. The embarrassment the radio demon felt at having Lucifer basically tear up (no really, he was crying so hard, full on drama sobbing) with joy in front of him was intertwined with the sheer incredulous fondness he felt for the man at that moment.
They were sitting at a couch one night, more than a year passing since that confession. Lucifer was leaning back, resting against the cushions, while Alastor had his head on the smaller one's shoulder, nuzzling at the crook of his neck, legs tucked close to his body. Both had a book in hand, two nearly empty cups of tea on the table in front of them. Every so often, Lucifer would flex his fingers that rested on Alastor's head, running a digit against the other's ear, often prompting the demon to lean into the touch. White wings enveloped the two, blanketing them against the chill of the night.
As Alastor turned the page of his own book, relaxing into the touch of his dearest friend, he wondered how he ever got so lucky in hell.
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sforzesco · 20 days ago
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decimus wanted to wind cassius up a bit just to see how he would snap
uhhh. what else. you know!! caesar was collecting (and discarding) a new generation of romans, operating a new kind of roman imperium. political manipulation. "good" governance. conspiracies are forming in reply.
the collage art is all public domain/open access stuff from the met collections!
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a-loose-collection-of-ants · 5 months ago
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I love your depiction of Hamilton and Lafayette, it’s so funny! Lafayette is so sweet and happy and Hamilton just has beef w/ the entire world. I can’t wait to see more of their brotherly relations in ur AMAZING art style
God, they're so narrative foil coded
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Seriously though, there's some fantastic contrast between them. They're just similar enough (both roughly the same age, both insecure and glory hungry, + their "shared father" or whatever Lafayette said) - and yet they manage to be exact opposites at the same time.
I could say more but I think this bit from Mike Duncan's biography about Lafayette basically gets at what I'm trying to say:
"Like Lafayette, Hamilton grew up without a father. He also lost his mother to a fatal illness at almost the same age Lafayette lost his. But where the tragedies of Lafayette’s childhood made him the heir of a fabulous fortune, the tragedies of Hamilton’s illegitimate childhood left him systematically cut out of his family’s inheritance. So where the dark clouds of Lafayette’s life were lined with silver, the dark clouds of Hamilton’s life were simply dark. Lafayette emerged from childhood buoyant and effusive, Hamilton cynical and reticent. But even though Hamilton started life a penniless bastard on the periphery of European civilization, and Lafayette started life an insanely wealthy heir in the heart of a great kingdom, they fell into an easy friendship. French was not the only language the two young men shared. The also shared a code of personal honor and a desire to prove themselves to the world." -Mike Duncan, Hero of Two Worlds, The Marquis de Lafayette in the Age of Revolution
Now, I am not qualified to speak on the real figures, but I do like to write. So, there is a narrative opportunity here that drives me insane.
Like, cast Hamilton as brilliant, but overly cynical with a habit of assuming the worst in people, and give him a negative character arc where he comes close to recognizing the potential good of humanity but ultimately falls into his more authoritarian tendencies. Then contrast him with Lafayette who's more naive. He's not quite sheltered but unfamiliar with the sort of selfishness and greed he'd have encountered if he grew up in a more vulnerable financial position. In coming to America he, like Hamilton, is forced to reckon with contempt, greed, and the failings of democratic government. But, unlike Hamilton, still manages to come out of it with a generally positive opinion of humanity.
I'm just saying, if I were writing history to contain ✨themes ✨ they are a perfect opportunity.
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sunnfish · 1 year ago
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[ID: A digital illustration of Sissel from Ghost Trick. He is shown from a lower angle, as if the viewer were looking up at him. He has a hand close to the viewer and clutching a glowing soul core. His other hand is in his pocket, and he has a serious expression on his face. The background is the clock that appears when you time travel in the game, consisting of a glowing red clock face and glowing red lines radiating from it on a black background. The art style mimics that of the game’s, with sharp black lines and shading. The color palette is mostly red, with some light blue radiating from the soul. The artist’s signature “sunnfish 2023” is written on his leg. /End ID]
Change your fate.
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l33j3n8 · 2 months ago
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Life is hard when you're pretty, funny and smart yet THOSE FUCKASS MEN DON'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU
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boyswillbedogz · 6 months ago
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CONCOTHERE / CONTHERE & INTERANTHROPY
i propose two no labels, rb for reach. as usual these are microlabels and u can use them as you please i just intended to make them to fill a gray area.
CONCOTHERE -
meaning : one who identifies thejr body as not human because their mind/spirit is not human. their bodies present humanely but are not human because that which inhabits the body is not human, not because the body on its own is nonhuman.
etymology: “conco/con” from latin “concoria” meaning “harmonize” + “there” derived from “THERian” and “holothere”.
forms: concothere/conthere (noun to describe a person)
Interanthrope -
meaning : someone whose physical body is not quite human or nonhuman due to either biology, identity disharmony, or delusion.
etymology: derived from latin “inter” meaning “between” + “anthropy” from “therianthropy” and latin “anthrope” meaning “human”
forms: interanthrope (noun to describe a person) interanthropy (noun to describe the condition)
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puppyeared · 4 months ago
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started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki
#HELP. HEEEELPP <- THE FORGETTER#i have 18 different tabs open and im pretty sure half of them are duplicates. i have not made anything past 5000G i am so cooked#rn im at summer 11 ish?? i cant remember dates in real life either jesus christ GRIPPING THE COMMUNITY CALENDAR WITH MY BARE HANDS#my ass really went into this like “ill just take it easy and go into it blind so i get the newborn baby deer experience" completely ignoran#to the fact that i get anxious disappointing ppl and not having any background knowledge going into smth new. like a FOOL#also the walking speed is just slow enough to make me space out and forget where i was going and what i needed to do head in my hands#ive had to backtrack all over pelican town so many different times im in fucking adhd hell. resource management hell#im saying this like i hate it but its actually pretty fun and engaging when im not gripping my head trying to remember what i was doing#i got linus' 2 heart event and it made me whimper a little. LINUSSS LINUS I LIKE HIM. AND WILLY AND MARNIE THEYRE SO NICEYS#marnie kinda like.. reminds me of my friends mom even her face is pretty similar. shes sweet i like her. also willy calls me lad hes cool#i think im just gonna start a new save and NOT rely on the fucking mixed seed forages bc my ass was too stubborn to buy seeds#i just got sebastians 2 heart event too ughhh ive never had to work so hard for an emo boys approval. but it was satisfying#corn will fix me. its a replenishable summer-fall crop corn has to fucking fix me PLEASE#i also. made a stardew valley farmer. the one im playing as. their name is cosmo they have a backstory and everything im making#him a ref. his backstory is so fucking funny just wait#yapping#diary#puppy plays sdv
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slightly-gay-pogohammer · 6 months ago
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clecnh your teeth or something
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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'tumblr i told you to stop sniping my post quality' translation: 80's sequel to this so click for better quality
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roses4jane · 1 month ago
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They should invent a perfume that you can smell on yourself too
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liquidstar · 8 months ago
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ive said it before and ill say it again; the good place does a way better job with the whole "critiquing the heaven/hell afterlife" system, in ways that have real-world applications, than hazbin hotel does. if this aspect of hazbin sounded thematically cool to you, but ultimately fell kinda flat on its ass, just go watch the good place 👍 saved your life
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milkweedman · 1 month ago
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Made another spindle. It's very small. Also very irregular and lumpy due to the wood (I wanted the raised brown lines to stay and erred on the side of caution in how much I cut away...but that did lead to a very irregular spindle).
It also wanted to crumble as I carved, so pretty much all the fine tuning I just did by sanding it, which helps to compress the fibers down as well as remove material without crumbling or splintering.
It really came to life when I oiled it. Probably will be best after a few good coats and some time. My woodburning kit seems to be totally gone, which is a bummer. So I'm not woodburning anymore.
Spins well. Obviously being so tiny and light it was always going to be a fine spinning spindle, but effortless thread from an unprepped piece of fleece is pretty indicative as well. I seem to find myself carving mostly thread spindles at the moment. They're always so small and light in the hand, they remind me of holding baby birds.
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linterteatime · 4 months ago
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Not to be rude, but I just read your bio, and did you not draw Chasriel nsfw? I checked and it seems as though you've gotten it taken off of e621 in the last few months, which is good, but I'm a little curious if you're hypocritical now and just trying to hide it, or you've stopped drawing such things entirely.
WTFFF BRUHHH I HAVE NEVER MADE NSFW IN MY LIFE!!! BUT ALSO CHASRIEL IS FUCKING GROSS!!!!! EWWW THOSE ARE SIBLINGS AND ALSO KIDS,,,,, WITH WHO TF ARE YOU CONFUSING ME WITH TOO???HUHH??? AND WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS e621????
ALSO WHY ARE YOU CALLED LIKE THAT, IM NOT TURNING EVER ANON BACK ON IF IM GOING TO GET THINGS LIKE THIS LMAO
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thedrotter · 2 months ago
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look i know this month has been crazy already in what has been going on for me BUT IT GETS CRAZIER... I got to finally have my constant pain I've had for two years diagnosed... I have fibromyalgia lol i have a chronic illness??😭😭
tbf it doesn't change anything i was already coping with these pains because I've been sitting with em for 2 years i just have anti depressants now but you know what has changed... my character lore GOT SICK AS FUCK!!!!!!!🦅🦅🦅🦅 (lighthearted)
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ashencreations · 2 years ago
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Anthro leg tutorial or whatever
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Commissions!
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Tag list
@emmettnet
@raptures-songbird
@fusion-ego
@gxmmy-sharks
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synthshenanigans · 1 year ago
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Jashtober Day 19 - Devil
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Redraw of the thumbnail from Chonny's Inferno & Shutup You're Stupid technically
[Alt versions below of course] v
- TW for bright colors!-
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Og image I mostly used:
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