#im just being silly i don’t need to understand those things <3.

[werewolfpdfs]

two weeks ago i hadn’t done anything beyond doodling since middle school and i had definitely never done art digitally but guys were you aware that drawing is fun.

[kawaii-kozume]

hiii, im not sure if ur still taking reqs or if this is the right way, and if not, feel free to ignore this! if you have time, could i request lityerses/reader cooking headcanons? Thanks! 😋

Hi Nonnie!! Sorry this is so late but here are my cooking headcanons with Lityerses :3

Lit doesn’t care about the mess, at all. He always cleans up, especially if he pushes to cook with you

When you first got together, he was super nervous when you’d cut up the vegetables and things. Honestly, you with knives made him nervous in the beginning but of course that diminished over time.

He says so many silly puns about heat in the kitchen, you being “hot” or things like “You need to step out, it’s getting too hot in here” if you’re working on the stove.

I see him really push side dishes, he makes a really good rice pilaf and teaches you a bunch of old Greek dishes. Eventually, he starts writing them down for you on index cards to put in a box.

He’s very touchy, especially when you get settled into your relationship so if something’s just heating up or you’re in between dishes, he’ll be hanging off of you. Hands resting on your hips as you stir a pot, a peck to the cheek in passing, he’ll also do the thing where he puts his hand on yours, the one that’s holding a utensil and then guides your hand in using it even if you know what you’re doing just so he has an excuse to touch you.

He has a lot of random knowledge about cooking? Like, specifically about spices and what works. You’ll ask him things like “I want a lemon base, what else do I add?” and he responds with wild shit like “Parsley, pepper and add a sprig of rosemary” and it just works? You don’t know where he finds it, but at this point you’ve begun to trust his knowledge.

He’s not a baker. He understands the basics, but he cannot do anything beyond making icing, I promise you. I’m sorry, I know he wants to make you the best apple pie possible but it just is not within his wheelhouse.

If you get something on your shirt or face, he’ll be sappy and try to do one of those tender moments of wiping the stuff off/away and then will somehow make it worse leading to you having to step away to change/wipe it off. Then he’ll laugh about it with you. The little moments like that remind him that he’s really, truly human again and it fills him with so much happiness that it overflows sometimes.

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

Jealousy, Jealousy || D. Targaryen x oc

GIF by @anyataylorjoy DIVIDERS by @straywords

summary: Rhaenyra Targaryen was known as the Realm’s delight, but her best friend Elys? She was given the name as the Realm’s desire. A story full of jealousy and envy; what happens when Elys takes the one thing away from Rhaenyra?

a/n: im so sorry this took so long to be updated but here it is! also a scene is inspired by euphoria and the whole nate cassie and maddy thing!

P.t 1 P.t 2 P.t 3 P.t 4 P.t 5

previous

Rhaenyra furrowed her eyebrows as she stares at her best friend who just entered the room. Flinching, Elys places her hand on her chest as she steadies her breathing, she had not been expecting her in her room.

In a slightly disheveled state, Elys awkwardly smiles at her as she lets her hair loose from its previous hairstyle. “What are you doing here Rhae? You should have mentioned you were going to visit me” She announced, getting rid of her jewelry.

“Did you forget? it’s Friday” Rhaenyra replies, emphasising the word Friday. It was a tradition for the two of them to sneak to Fleabottom and wonder around. Elys pauses her actions, looking at her through the mirror. Taking in her silence, Rhaenyra stands up and walks towards Elys.

Placing her hands on her shoulders she sighs, “Have you been okay recently Elys? You’re always disappearing and you’ve barely spoken to me, god knows what you’ve been up to” She points out. Fucking your uncle, Elys thought.

Ever since Daemon asked her to meet him in his bed chambers, the two were well acquaintances. Fucking each other at any chance they could, even if Rhaenyra was close by. Elys found it thrilling.

“I’m fine, Rhaenyra, I promise” Elys smiled at her before turning around to face her, “Now, it’s never to late to go to Fleabottom is it?” She cheekily grinned as Rhaenyra reciprocates it.

~

“I think I need to tell her,” Elys sighed, her cheek flushed on Daemon’s naked chest. “Tell who what, pretty girl?” His voice was soft as his hands toyed with her brunette locks. “Rhaenyra. My best friend. Your niece. About what we’ve done” Elys confesses, tilting her head up to look at him.

He doesn’t answer for awhile. “Don’t tell her” his voice cuts the silence, Elys slowly sat up, now straddling Daemon. “Why not? She will find out eventually” She fiddled with her fingers before he takes her hands in his.

“Exactly. Eventually. Not now, I enjoy being with you, you know? I want to spend as much time with you as I can before she finds out eventually” His words made Elys soft. She shyly smiles before leaning down and placing gentle kissed along his jawline making him squeeze her thighs.

“God I can’t get enough you” He moans, grabbing her waist and manhandling Elys on her back so that he was hovering over her. The two look deeply into each other’s eyes, “Neither can I” Elys whispers before Daemon returns his assault on her lips.

~

“I wish I could run away with him,” Rhaenyra said, breaking the comfortable silence as the two watch Daemon patting Caraxes. “Why? And leave me here with boring lords and ladies?” Elys joked, nudging her best friend.

Rhaenyra scoffs, “Well those boring lords and ladies adore you Elys. Besides, It would be nice if it was just Daemon and I in Dragonstone” She smiled to herself.

Elys felt her heart drop, the guilt of what she was doing behind Rhaenyra’s back was slowly sinking in. “Do you like him that much?” She asked as the Princess looks to her.

“Very much so. With Daemon, it feels like- you know what it’s probably silly to say it” Elys furrows her eyebrows shaking her head, “It wouldn’t be silly Rhaenyra” “As wrong as it would be, I wish to run away with him and marry him. We understand each other and he makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. It’s refreshing really” She grins.

Elys takes in her words. “You love him don’t you?” She questions, hiding her guilt. Rhaenyra only smiles and looks away, she had her answer.

~

The rest of the afternoon Elys spent in her bedchambers, sulking in guilt. It was her own fault for doing something like this behind Rhaenyra’s back. She decided that tonight she would end whatever the fuck was between Daemon and her and tell Rhaenyra. There was a celebration being held that night, it was the perfect chance to confront Rhaenyra.

“This will be a good night, I can feel it” Rhaenyra squeezes Elys’ hand as they walk into The Great Hall. Elys tightly smiles at her before the two sit down at the royal table. Being Rhaenyra’s close friend had its’ perks.

As King Viserys’ was doing his speech, he was interrupted by Daemon walking in. Elys practically held her breath as sauntered his way to the table, a small but noticeable smirk on his face.

He sat at the edge of the table, his eyes never leaving Elys as she didn’t dare to look at him. Rhaenyra looks between the two and doesn’t think much of it.

As the night progressed and people were dancing and had one too many drinks, Elys took the opportunity to whisper discreetly to Daemon to meet him in his room.

The second Elys shut the door behind her, Daemon pulls her towards him to press kisses along her exposed collarbone. “Daemon-“ She started, “Shhh” He hushed her as a moan escaped her lips. This was not going as planned she thought.

The pleasure he was giving her was too great to end it now so she thought this would be the final time before she was going to break it off. Elys wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him even more close.

“You smell so good” He groaned in her neck as his hands made their way to her back to undo the laces. He barely got her dress off before he took her leg and wrapped it around his waist.

Aggressively pushing her up against the door, he started sucking her tits making Elys throw her head back, moaning at the sensation. He slid into her making them let out moans, as soon as she adjusted to his size, he started pumping into her at an inhumane speed.

“Oh my- fuck!” She screamed, not caring if someone heard her if they were to walk past. “You feel so good” He grunts into her ear as a smiled makes it to her lips. A sudden knock at the door made Elys gasp, Daemon immediately shutting her up by placing his hand on her mouth.

Elys stared wide eyed at him as Daemon shouted, “Who is it!” “It’s me uncle,” The sound of Rhaenyra voice made Elys panic. “Shit” Daemon mutters, “Just a second!” He shouts again as Elys tries to tidy herself but her dress was tangled.

“Daemon help me!” She urged silently as tears were brimming her eye, he quickly helped her and took her face in his hands. “Don’t cry” He hushed, wiping her tears as she covered her mouth, sobbing. “She’s my best friend, she’ll kill me!” Elys continued as Daemon pulls her to his chest.

“Daemon!” Rhaenyra knocked again making Elys flinch, He looked around the room to look for places to hide her. He quickly pulled her behind the panel divider, “Everything’s going to be okay, just wait here” He says as Elys nods, hot tears still streaming down her face.

She felt like the worse person in the entire world. Daemon’s eyes soften as he kisses her wet cheeks and walks to the door. “Uncle-“ Rhaenyra paused as she studied his appearance, a frown on her lips. “Was I interrupting something?” She awkwardly says as Daemon glances behind him, stepping out and closing the door behind him.

As soon as Elys heard the door close and their voice’s becoming faint, she slowly walks to the bed and lays there for quite some time. This was definitely not how she imagined things would go.

next

~

taglist

@lightdragonrayne @lazypinkpig @pearlstiare @cleverzonkwombatsludge @graniairish @stargaryenx @issybee0611 @piceous21 @duhitzdae @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @judewife @lady-stark-winter-rose @hwa-chaeming @deamonloversblog @kodzuvk @mutteringghost @luna-ann @lyannesworld @xcinnamonmalfoyx @sesamepancakes @plethoravellichor @bregarc @stephaniebalanag @witch-with-the-cat @valsandoval @lyra689 @targaryenmoony @itsalwaysgay @rockerchick05 @oh-no-tia @do-youseeme @esposadomd @lyn07

[sweet-drmzzz]

wowowowow I’m finally doing a pinned post

Hiya!! My names are Z-Fey, and Faele (pronounced fey-elle)!! I am the host of a median collective, and this is my/our main blog. You can find our plural side blog here: @treehousearchive

I go by Fae/Zi/It/They pronouns, and idrc how the grammar around them works (so you could say “fae are a person with adhd” or “fae is a person with adhd.” Please use my neopronouns as much as, if not more than you use they/it

if you misgender me I’ll eat ur knees /hj

I am faekin and foxkin, and I’m absolutely amazing at it. Don’t try to disprove alterhuman shit. I won’t listen. Also keep any alterhuman discourse off this blog. All nonhumans are welcome here. Yes even physical ones. Yes even ones that truly believe they are an animal. Yes even mentally ill/delusional ones.

Collectively we are aspec and arospec. Afaik that goes for everyone in our collective but I could be wrong.

currently I don’t check my discord, if you need to reach me my asks and DMs on here are the fastest ways.

I use a lot of emoticons, abbreviations, and tone tags :3

tone tag key:

/lh- light hearted

/j- joking

/hj- half joking

/sarc- sarcasm

/nm- not mean

/nf- not forced

/gen- genuine

/aesth- aesthetic (used to describe aesthetic attraction. Ex. “He’s hot /aesth”

if I ever use one u don’t understand just ask! I’m more then willing to inform!

DNI:

Pedos. Like genuinely. Pedos maps etc fucking disgust me. Stay tf away from my blog

Zionist. Yeah nuhuh. If u support genocide I don’t want to talk to u.

Homophobes/Transphobes. I’m gay asf. I don’t think you want to be here.

Zoophiles. No. Just no.

Anti furry/Anti alterhuman. Once again. I’m a therian. Y would u want to be here???

Sexual/kink blogs. Nothing against you, have ur fun. Idrc. I’m just not comfy w that.

Anti-endos. I don’t want that negativity on my blog. All good vibes here.

If you demonize mental illnesses (like schizophrenia or npd) fuck off. If you use “delulu” or treat serious mental illnesses as silly little things fuck off.

Anti aro/aspec. This shouldn’t even be a thing? Just let people exist?

if I don’t like u I’ll block u.

With all due respect, which is none, leave me alone.

Tags!!

#Happy Fox Hours

Foxkin euphoria and just generally happy foxkin related stuff

#Happy Fae Hours

Second verse, same as the first but w fae stuff this time.

#Zi speak!!

text posts and me ranting

#Soda Spill

My writing. Includes poetry and short stories/snippets from bigger stories. (Please note that since originally making this I have stopped using the name Soda, as that has gone to one of my headmates. This tag may change soon.)

#Faele agrees

Rebolgs!! I might forget to tag my rebolgs. I’ll try my best but if I do my apologies.

#Sad bitch time

vents n stuff. Me being depressed.

Boundaries: mostly im fine with anything.

pls don’t tag me in angelic/religious stuff, or send it to me. Especially if it has eyes featured prominently.

uhh i feel like this shouldn’t need to be said but just in case: foxes are a game animal where I live. I already see my kind’s hides enough. Don’t show me pics of that.

just yk… if i ask u to quit do so please. There’s nothing rly big other than those two things that I can think of. Be nice.

My filter tag list is here. If you are intentionally rude and disrespectful about it you will be blocked.

I have a side blog for Will wood stuff called @willwooddaily

thank you for your time!!

[whiskersz]

Hi there! I know you said matchups were closed but if you dont mind, Id like to send this in, just so I dont forget haha. If you dont wanna, its fine, feel free to delete my ask, or save it until you do reopen them, I just wanted to send one now because im forgetful and heard nothing but good things from my friend. <:) sorry to be a bother, once again, feel free to delete if I am bothering you

Im Ace, I go by she/they pronouns, Im bi, and stand at a height of 5'3.

I'm an introvert with anxiety and depression, but I am SUPER energetic and silly when you get to know me. I can be playfully mean, but i'm always there to help a friend in need. I get riled up pretty easy but Ive been told im very sweet and helpful and fun to be around.

Im chaotic and kinda delusional, and I can be flirty at times. I can also get a bit violent.

I think it says a lot about me seeing as I see Angel Dust as a big brother figure. I can be very sly at times and definitely impulsive.

Im creative and both really smart and really dumb, and Im mostly a coward unless it comes to friends and/or family

Im very sarcastic, playful, and affectionate, and I have no trouble saying I love you to people, but I do have trouble saying im sorry. Im also a people pleaser. I definitely dont make enemies but I do hold grudges. Im also super emotional and clingy. Daddy issues go BRRRRR

Thank you! Sorry again, hope im not being a bother.

Hello Ace!! Don’t worry, I don’t mind the occasional additional matchup! Do thank your friend from me for speaking well of my stuff, I appreciate that lots :3

Now, you seem to have quite the explosive personality, if you will >:3 So I match you with...

Cherri Bomb!!

To start off, Cherri is surely an individual who can take jokes, so you’re never going to have to be afraid to be a bother for her with your sarcastic and playful remarks as she will actually find this part of your personality hilarious, and will always play along and joke back.

She will definitely take advantage of your cluelessness sometimes – don’t call yourself dumb! – and tease you for it, though if she goes too far it’s not a problem for her to remind you that she was just joking and that she actually finds it really cute.

Cherri loves hanging out with fun people, so you being fun to be around is certainly a vantage point here. She’s not afraid of admitting when a person is boring and not of her liking, but I have the feeling that she would think the exact opposite of you. in fact, it’s not uncommon for her to invite you along whenever she hangs out with Angel.

You’re creative? She loves that about you. I imagine her house as one of those houses full of pop art paintings, handmade things and such. No matter how you express your creativeness, she will appreciate it and place something you made in plain sight somewhere around the house.

She also adores how expressive you are in a relationship; there’s many gestures that she finds attractive, but none goes above being proud of a partner and constantly reminding them that you love them, so when you do this with her she will waste no time and kiss you.

She doesn’t mind you being clingy at all, also. She actually finds it very cute and she loves receiving physical affection, so who is she to say no to a hug or a cuddle? If you’re into PDA just as she is, she’ll be thrilled to show each other affection in public, also to show others how lucky she is that she gets to date you.

Despite being quite chaotic herself, Cherri is also a very good friend and partner when it comes to comforting you; as seen in the “Addicted” music video, she’s willing to help Angel with his struggles, so why wouldn’t she do so with you as well? She understands that everyone has moments where anxiety overwhelms them too much, and that people who struggle with depression like you don’t have it easy every day, so in these times she will offer you all the support that you need. Mainly through physical contact, but also in other ways if you prefer being shown love through actions or words, for example.

You two might come across a bit of a problem if you ever end up arguing; she’s also not easy to get a ‘sorry’ out of, but one of you will have to apologize to the other sooner or later. I feel that if the relationship has been going on for a while, this will be easier, but at the start you two might have to take a bit of time alone before ultimately coming to the conclusion that yes, you do love each other and yes, apologizing if you’re in the wrong is the better option if you desire a happy relationship.

Overall, you and Cherri make quite the chaotic and fun couple! The rest of the Hotel loves having you two around when you visit, you definitely bring an air of fun and excitement.

[thenwhatthefukcisthis]

Arthur didn’t miss the militarisation; he chose to omit that information : a word salad

I don’t think there’s a single mistake in movie history that has riled up this many people as arthur darling missing militarisation of Fischer. It’s (beautifully, always) taken as the moment eames shows arthur “it’s okay bb I love you” in all the fics ever (keep doing that please it’s my jam) and over the past 13 years people have been toying different ideas trying to figure out the reason for the best point man in the industry to miss such important detail of the job.

nobody asked, but here’s my two cents on it.

But first, lemme briefly mention the theories I have seen so far in the fandom regarding this

1. Arthur missed it. Just as it’s portrayed in the movie. He’s just human and humans are bound to make mistakes. There’s no mystery/backstory/explanation; he just missed it. cause even tho he strives to be, he isn’t 100% perfect.

(it’s very possible, but where’s the fun in this explanation cmon)

2. Arthur missed it cause he was too burned out by the long two years of babysitting cobb and he was too busy in inception job itself playing mentor to Ariadne while doing his point man duties

(I agree. totally. He needed to be wrapped in a blanket and fed cookies 30 seconds in to the damn movie)

3. Arthur didn’t miss it. He hid the fact intentionally to con the team. He was double crossing cobb/Eames and was actually helping cobol/CIA so he made the job difficult by keeping it a secret

(I’m not overly fond of this explanation, and it’s doesn’t ring true with the canon, but I see the appeal. The whole eames/arthur enemies to lovers extravaganza *chefs kiss*)

4. Arthur didn’t miss anything. Fischer wasn’t militarised. The projections were cobbs, including that giant ass train.

(Im not smart enough to completely understand this explanation but it’s a big brain idea *applause*)

so.. now onto the silly little idea I had.

(this could very well be an already discussed idea, I’m waaaaay late to the party, but I just haven’t come across it so far. Please bear with me if you’ve mentioned/seen someone mention it anywhere)

What if..what if it was arthur himself who militarised Fischer. What if it’s a job he did while running around the world with cobb and he did it from everyone?

in actual, real world, country hopping, funding lawyers, paying for law suits and funding for two kids actually need a truckload of money. While the Miles couple must’ve helped with some of those expenses, there must’ve been a huge amount of balance for cobb to cover, and despite being a runaway dad, cobb must’ve tried his best to make things at home were going smooth at home, taking as much jobs he could get, even the riskier and shadier ones.

however, with his mind falling apart and mal being not so lovely, there must’ve been a moment the efforts just weren’t enough. Cobb wouldn’t have mentioned it or more likely, wouldn’t have even noticed it, cause if the movie is any indication, the tabs must’ve been kept by a certain very meticulous point man.

arthur ,more than anyone else, knew how much cobb wanted to see his children and how hard he was trying to get his name cleared and get back to them. so, letting cobb know that he wasn’t dong enough as a father and a protector was definitely out in arthurs book.

so what if, while pretending for both his and cobbs sake that everything was just fine, arthur started taking up extra work to fill out those gaps? certainly not heavy inception-level work, but the ones which would only require a point man or just an architect. jobs without too much trouble, almost legal and which could be done in between jobs.

and arthur wouldn’t have minded missing a few nights sleep here and there, if it meant the lawyers keeping the feds off cobbs back were paid and happy. he knew his best friend was already beating himself up for mal, both the real life person and the projection and leaving such young kids alone, so even when cobb grumbled about research being completed late, arthur never let cobb know it’s cause he’s also handling another jobs research and add to the staggering weight of guilt his friend carried.

so what if, militarisation of Fisher was one such run-in-the-mill job that was done in super secrecy? Arthur was consulted when fishcer senior fell ill, arthur flew in (stateside), met Robert barely once, did the job and flew back.

when inception came along, arthur was obviously in a nice little pickle and he knew he had to talk cobb out of it (in the movie, we could see arthur being wary of inception from the get go, and while the extreme chance of utter failure could’ve been the reason, this could also be the reason why he didn’t wanna go through with it *cue stabby salad scene*) there was no way arthur could tell this to cobb without hurting him as then he would’ve had to explain all the rest to him as well.

being the point does mean he has to know it all, but it never says the others also have to know as much he does. so arthur keeps it hidden, but takes all the precautions; he makes sure everything is planned well and that everyone is trained in gun combat ( even the first class flight attendant specially the first class flight attendant ), knowing that worse that could happen would be dying in a dream, which for arthur, only meant waking up at that point. arthur was sure they could go thru with it cause as he says in the movie “it’s nothing they haven’t dealt with before”.

I love the level of calmness arthur was exuding when cobb tears him a new one and while it could be simply because arthurs life long experience of dealing with cranky cobb, there was also this hint of resigned “I’ve been expecting this” nature to his demeanour that was too calm, even for arthur. He tries to calm cobb down in the most placating manner cause Arthur must’ve decided that he deserves whatever that’s coming along his way and has been ready to take the blame since day one and tries his damndest to make sure everyone makes it out alive cause he was prepared and was sure. arthur didn’t mind playing the betrayer so that cobb could walk away guilt free out of inception.

however, what arthur never, ever expected was the person he has considered as his closest friend, to betray him and everyone else in the worst possible manner.

[jinchuls-moved]

hi, important lil note

pseud change, jinx -> echo

you don’t have to read but there’s a not so thought out ramble of all the thoughts in my head rn under the cut. i feel like ive been tricking people and i want to explain myself

okay so, i moved blogs when i was in a very negative space. i only stayed away for about a month, i missed tumblr and i missed writing even if it took me a hot minute to feel good enough to even be semi active on here.

tumblr can fucking suck. i left because there was drama with a few people that left me a mess honestly, those people have since been blocked and i started to feel a little bit better. i also noticed a number of people breaking mutual with me, which i completely understand curate your space as you need i’ve done it a few times myself, but the amount of people that did in a short time (as far as i noticed) gave me a terrible feeling and i needed to leave. i felt unwelcome and like i had done something wrong to people i had only interacted with a few times. this was on top of a lot of stuff i had going on irl, i felt so fucking alone in every aspect on my life regardless of my friends that made it so obvious they were there for me. i hated how i was at the time, and i appreciate every single person that stuck by me.

so i made this blog for a fresh start. i thought a new pseud and a new blog would make me feel better. and it did, for a while. my friends knew and they listened to my request to change tags, not refer to me as any previous nicknames and essentially not make it too obvious it was me. although i don’t think it was entirely impossible to tell. but now i miss all those things, i miss being stupid with my friends, i miss getting to call my best friend my wife on dash, i miss getting to miss astrology aims and mother nesi nesi, i miss the mutuals i used to have that i didn’t tell about the move because i was scared they were going to think i was stupid. i miss the url i kept going back to bc i loved it (possibly the most silly reason but still ukaishin holds a special place in my heart)

and it just doesn’t feel right. everyone has been so nice to me so far and it feels wrong knowing that wasn’t how echo ended, it makes me wonder what was wrong with me then that wasn’t now? but reality is, it’s nothing. shit happens, i needed time to get over a lot of things and it took time. even quite recently i had a terrible evening because of an old mutual. as in i had a mental breakdown because they added one stupid word to an ask that made me feel pathetic for sitting there the night before crying about how much i was missing them to aims.

getting called jinx in dms throws me off, i appreciate those that knew me first as echo using the new pseud, but it never took. it was never a name i was happy with (except for the first couple weeks on this blog) and im sorry for any confusion and having to switch pseuds again. i just don’t want to move blogs, i don’t want to have a whole thing i just want tumblr to be the happy place it was for me for almost 2 years. it got me through uni, being on here with the friends i’d made, i spend my final year of school in a constant mental breakdown, crying on the phone to my mum almost everyday and it was kaze that kept me going, motivating me to get my degree. it was kaze that flew to england to meet me and attend my graduation. it was aims that was the first person to reach out to me and give me the type of friendship i needed. it was everyone in our silly delululand server that made me laugh and reminded me that no matter how shit people were there were good ones. and it’s the good that’s made me feel better. and the good that makes me want to try one more time to maintain that happy place i had 2 years ago

that got too sappy but i refuse to edit <3

[altschmerzes]

Gav I am SO sorry for the length of this ….. also I am going to send a general “how are you doing ask” because this is all Jamie stuff (very therapeutic to talk about him after the week I’ve had) so I hope that’s okay!!!

Okay. So.

Jamie in this episode? A delight. I mean, he’s always a delight but WOW, I didn’t think I could love him more. And I LOVE that he was so happy and silly and having fun and I don’t want my take to take away from that (because I have been in the state I think he was in many times before).

I don’t know if this was intentional from Phil, but I think Jamie was manic in this episode — specifically trauma induced mania. I think that Amsterdam, understandably, was a HUGE trigger for him.

In that heartbreaking scene where Jamie shares something very difficult with Roy, he says “even though my dad weren’t there, it was like he was still with us, y’know?”

Cut to:

Jamie mimicking his dad’s mannerisms from his very first scene (the play punches, the frenetic energy)

Jamie reverting to being a prick for all of two seconds (the tie your laces comment was probably something he heard from his father) to see how far he could push Roy before Roy snapped at him

Running Roy ragged across the streets of Amsterdam the entire episode lol

This sent me spiralling a little because there is SO much evidence to show that Jamie was in trauma / manic in this episode, and how those mannerisms relate to that.

Cut to:

Nonstop movement, running, round offs, bouncing up and down on the spot

Lack of attention span and impulsivity — deciding they need bikes and running off to find them using his street smarts (again, likely mimicking what he has seen his father do) and also deciding that they HAVE to find a windmill. Like absolutely determined, nothing was stopping that boy lmao

Peaking in energy and then suddenly calming down once he’s taught Roy how to ride a bike

Info-dumping and non stop talking

Being confused why Roy wouldn’t want to join in on his imagined adventure “these bikes have just made tonight AMAZING!”

Now listen. Being a person with mania, you can be manic and still be …. you. I think so many of these Jamie moments are hilarious and adorable and not all down to that, but he was DEFINITELY in trauma … getting to that now:

He’s in this crazy good mood the whole night, and then he decides to share ….. the thing ….. with Roy. I think that might be his subconscious bringing up this trauma and sort of explaining the mood he’s been in, which is extremely chaotic for the entire episode until he voices it. Even if he doesn’t KNOW it’s traumatising (“she loved it”), there is something going on here. And the fact that he SUBCONSCIOUSLY, maybe even consciously I don’t know, recognised that being in Amsterdam was a trigger for him and then apologised for the way it made him behave ??????? I’m actually tearing up thinking about it I’m so fucking proud that is UNBELIEVABLE

Also. “I don’t really remember.”

I don’t think I need to explain to you how fucking heart wrenching that is but. Fuck.

This is a super jumbled and badly put mess of an ask because I am very sleep deprived but. This episode just meant so much to me because I relate to Jamie SO MUCH in this. I have genuinely had a night very similar and I am almost certainly projecting but. Yeah. To people with abuse trauma, at least for me, this was genuinely the most nuanced depiction of it that I’ve ever, EVER seen, and I don’t even know if they did it on purpose.

IM SO SORRY FOR THIS ITS NOT VERY GOOD READING IT OVER. I am definitely projecting. And also want to be clear that it isn’t JUST trauma stuff like this is also a very wholesome development in Roy and Jamie’s relationship with some very touching and hilarious moments that I’m terrified to undermine and I’m scared it’s an awful take but. Just needed to share it with you

ALLL MY LOVE AS ALWAYS <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

never apologize for long messages!!!! i love long messages i love hearing from and chatting with my pals including my pen pals.... and like yeah. yeah i have been so much thinking about all of this. like he was happy! he was really happy at a lot of points in that episode but it had a bit of a weird exaggerated energy that didn't click until that point later when he told that. frankly brutal story that like ah, okay, that all makes sense now. he was upbeat and happy and it was clear he was having a good time and like you said, it was a lovely and touching and hilarious sequence in their subplot but 'manic' is the word that kept coming to mind. like, when you've got a mix of horrifying feelings and happy feelings about something and you decide no, i'm HAPPY i'm focusing on the good part i am FINE it's FINE it's all FINE, see how happy i am? see how normal and not ruined i am??

and yeah same i feel the same way about like- regardless of whether it was done intentionally that combination of that almost manic energy and 'i don't remember' and the way he brings it up as like- you get the feeling, really, that he knows on some level that what happened to him there was deeply, profoundly not okay, but doesn't quite know how to talk about it? gave me the same feeling that some of his comments earlier to higgins and ted did like. 'i want someone to tell me this wasn't okay, but i don't know how to say it.' and yeah like. the i don't remember comment... man that hit hard. his behaviour in that whole scene hit hard.

and that line about like. even though he wasn't there he was there with us..... winded me. that line winded me. if you grow up with an angry man in your house there will always be an angry man in your house, if you are born in a burning house you think the whole world is on fire, etc etc. it's a really complex and extremely familiar portrait of abuse trauma and i really, really appreciated seeing it. even if it's reading too much into it, even if it's projecting, i really appreciated it.

and man the whole thing especially with him bringing it up and then apologizing to roy like- i'm really proud of him for that too. he's trying really, extremely hard this season and doing such a good job of Being An Adult, being responsible, being accountable, being Good. even in situations where it has to feel unbelievably scary and threatening - going to the coaches about zava and presenting his concerns to the whole room full of authority figures he admires and respects, telling roy that story and then taking the initiative to apologize, even before this season, 'if you know how to make me better, i want to hear it' - it's just like. he's giving everything he has to do better, be better. he's- gutting himself, in pursuit of Being Good, in a couple of different ways and MAN it's like. it's hard to watch but it's incredible to watch at the same time. man. there's a reason this character absolutely kills me.

[strawbubbysugar]

Hiii, (princess lawyer anon here) not trying to start anything but i saw an anon upset over what I said (i assume it was about me cuz Im kinda,, the only one who fits their description,,) and I just wanted to say I don’t really appriciate them trying to make me like a villain,,, that kinda hurts to be misinterpreted so intensely,, I wasnt targeting them, there was like.. 5+ people both on the blog and in the story comments that said the same thing, so I really wasnt like,, targeting them or really even thinking of their reply when i wrote what i wrote if im being very honest,, I thought what I said was funny, and not meant to be condescending. Especially since both me and Bubby sorta made the same defender joke,, Sorry, I didn’t like how it felt in my chest reading those messages, if you understand what I mean,,, kinda actually had me tearing up ajdhsjsjdh to explain why it was so long winded if I can try and show i didnt mean it maliciously; I wasnt trying to over explain, I was info dumping because Im autistic and got excited,,,, but I do get that a lot, I really dont mean for it to come off as like im over explaining or condescending or whatever the right word is, im sorry. and this story meant a lot to me,, I just wanted to share my thoughts like everyone else and join in on what i thought were jokes, not over explain things and make people uncomfortable, im sorry,,, sorry for clogging up your box with all this nonsense, I just felt really upset and hurt and didnt know how else to address them since they’re anon,,, andjdjdj sorry if im doing it again rn </3

But, let me end on a positive note cuz I hate coming off as negative!!! Love u Bubby and love the latest chapter, im sorry if i caused any tension for you. Im really excited to see what both pry/ncess my beloved and Sun look like on the wedding day in their pretty outfits <3 I especially loved the funny parts with Sun covering his eyes, hes so silly goofy coded and I love your writing 💕 it never fails to make me laugh, smile, tear up, everything /verypositive And dont let anyone tear you down, I loved So(u)l it still lives in my head rent free and Im absolutely loving Bethroned!!! And also, as an autistic person, I love how you write your y/n’s because I feel like i can really relate where i sometimes struggle with that in other stories 💕💕 thats all, i spent like two hours trying to word this right so i need to stop now for my hearts sake, mwah mwah /silly

Oh Angel thank you for the kind words!! I know nobody in this situation meant to come off as anything but genuine. I’ll post this so that the two anons involved can hopefully find some closure with the situation. I won’t be answering any asks about it anymore but I wanted to make sure you felt seen and heard. :)

Peace and love on planet earth muah muah

[borom1r]

1-25 choose violence ask game ❤️

ALL OF THEM?????? you’re so real for this ty snfnsnbfns. doing LotR bc of course I am

1. the character everyone gets wrong

PIPPIN I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PIPPIN. all those incorrect quote polls that have been posted where pippin keeps fucking winning YALL REALIZE HES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER RIGHT?? with like depth?? and bonds?? and a personality. yall realize that right?????? right??? ik we all love 2 joke but he would not say half of those things

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

ok I personally enjoy both for Boromir BUT if he IS topping. he is a service top. I will die on this hill

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I block ppl for these takes so no screenshots but everyone who thinks Boromir is a villain. if you think Boromir is a villain I will key your car.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

there is one singular straw and it is bad Boromir takes in the Boromir tag

5. worst discord server and why

I don’t join fandom discord servers bc I love myself too much for that 💗

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ummm idk? most of my lotr mutuals have different ships from me and it’s all chill. but tbf I’m very selective abt who I interact with now lmao.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

no one yet thank fuck.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Aragorn/Arwen isn’t actually romantic sorry I think it’s fucked up actually. the vibes are off there for SURE

9. worst part of canon

FARAMIR’S “yeah I’m gonna take you from your home and tame you. haha wdym. you don’t need a blade during times of peace.” SHTICK WITH ÉOWYN IN THE BOOKS. UNPACK YOUR BIASES YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!!!

10. worst part of fanon

HM. I will stick with “people who horrifically misinterpret Boromir’s character”

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at the moment I only have rings of power blocked but I’ve had that blocked since it came out bc if I look at the armor in that show I will commit crimes.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MOVIE!FARAMIR MY SPECIALEST LITTLE GUY OOOOOOOOOO MOVIE!FARAMIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU he’s so handsome and special and I love him and you WILL all look at him and clap and cheer. it makes me insane that his temptation by the ring mirror’s Boromir’s and he’s actually fucking normal abt the Rohirrim AND I just love him very much :)

13. worst blorboficiation

ummm idk… maybe Frodo

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

HMMM exposing myself but I basically only read Aragorn/Boromir fics lmao + since we’re Choosing Violence the most annoying thing is Boromir just being A Brute. like damn I love the surface level reading of the text maybe try engaging with it above a 1st grade analysis next time 💗

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmmmm idk cuz again I don’t interact w a lot of fanartists so there’s nothing like. annoying. all th ✨motifs✨ I do see r very fun + I like them :)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ummm for Serious, portraying Pippin as Stupid. for Silly, uhhhh Trans Faramir is so real to me I completely forgot cis people both 1) exist in the real world and 2) probably interpret Fara as cis too. i don’t get it :(

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

trans Faramir 🩵💗🤍

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

HM idk. trans Faramir again. also bc I love it, utilizing Old Norse culture for the Rohirrim teehee

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

OK IM MAD THAT FINNISH BOROMIR IS JUST ME. THATS ME. THATS AN OUTFIT I WEAR REGULARLY MINUS THE LONG HAIR. I DRESS LIKE THAT TO BUY GROCERIES. i love him for that tho. I’m also mad that MtG Boromir’s stupid pointy muttonchops have grown on me. freak behavior, keeping his facial hair trimmed in those stupid little points

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I’m fighting for my life reading the histories rn 😑 I find them very dry for the most part

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk? I think there is an appropriate level of hype. but idk if Rings of Power had a lot of hype. if it did, then Rings of Power is my answer

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

idk if it’s IGNORED necessarily but the fact that Boromir carries a Rohirric shield in the films does actually genuinely make me insane 💞 I love that sm

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

UNWILLINGLY?????? idk?? ummmm I think it’s all fine for the most part I’m just A Fag so I don’t write het ships. it’s like a moral thing. Éowyn/Faramir gets a pass conceptually bc they’re T4T to me tho

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idkkkkkkk I don’t engage w discourse bc I want this fandom to remain pleasanttttt

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

again idk.. I block on sight if I see a Bad Take + then I erase it from my memory so I can continue to live in a beautiful blissful world where I. forgor abt cis people ☺️

[mattmaesonnatural]

i work for a media company and ive had this thing for a guy (i’ve known him for 4 years) who i am a cohost with on podcast (there’s 3 of us, the 3rd host is actually the lead talent and is basically like a father figure to me) for over a year now. We have good chemistry and thats as far as anything has gone.

Last summer i had a bad situation happen at a bar and i told him about it and he made me feel really safe about bringing it up to him and helping me through it.

Right now i feel like he is the last person i could trust to bring up that to.

I care about him. I do not think he is a terrible person. I know he is emotionally unavailable. But in the last 6 months or so has been very weird towards me in his behaviour. As in used to be super friendly chatty silly nice. To arrogant and straight up mean. I’ve gotten 4 dm’s in the last 6 months about how he treats me on the podcast and for a while (maybe i was blind) i did not believe those messages until as of late. (He does not know about these messages)

He has never been in a real relationship as far as i know (yes red flag) but I’ve had a few people tell me that he caught feelings and is self sabotaging the friendship or flirtationship or whatever this is (this happened about a month ago) i’ve taken it as he figured out that i have feelings for him and he hates me. Clearly we have not talked about this as i don’t want to rock the professional side of this.

I see this man about 3 times a week. But i noticed he stopped looking at my instagram stories, he stopped interacting with my content, he has stopped acknowledging me by my name (he calls me ma’am), he will ask the other guys i work with questions about their life but never me anymore, some of the bigger projects i’ve worked on some that he is even apart of he gave me no credit or even a good job. About 2 months ago i had a different producer step in to help as I couldn’t be on the show due to a bigger project i was working on, this producer had 8 episodes to take care of and i caught this man telling him he’s the face of the podcast as i was standing right behind him.

There’s a billion other bare minimum moments that made me think we were getting back to the friendship we had. But then theres other moments where it’s like it’s all ruined by his doing. I am a lover girl to my core, my other colleagues all very respect what i do and yet my own cohost has made me feel so frustrated and pissed off about his behaviour towards me i am considering leaving the podcast but i feel like i owe it to myself to be mature enough to bring up some of this behaviour and how it’s made me feel.

I don’t want to make this an HR issue. It feels too personal and explaining this to one of my good guy friends he told me to call him out on his bullshit cause he’s just being rude. That he’ll either make excuses or actually listen to what you are saying.

I might be too in my head about it but i want to be open and honest about this with him cause i want this to be fixed i want to make sure this comes across as i need you to understand that the things you do are making me feel this way and its up to you to decide what you’re going to do about it.

I just need advice on how i bring this up? how i can start this conversation without it turning in to a blame game? I have to do this otherwise i feel like im just throwing in the towel because i got my feelings hurt.

[literaetures]

it’s been such a busy year!! but i wanted to write out some accomplishments just as a reminder to myself about some good things that have happened between the mess

i cooked 3 new dinner recipes!! (very big for me as someone who doesn’t cook)

i baked banana bread for the first time from scratch!! (also massive for me as someone who only bakes boxed mixes)

i started doing yoga more regularly (at least once a week!! that’s been so good for the body and brain)

i’ve finished crochet projects (coasters, granny squares, more coasters)

i’ve tried writing fic again (just little blurbs that don’t see the light of day but it’s been nice to write out the little prompts i have in my head)

i had a really good class i taught this semester and they were so talkative and willing to share their ideas!!

i did three conferences this year for papers i wrote and presented them in panels of other super cool people with super cool papers

i’m becoming more comfortable with being alone with myself (not much!! but baby steps are still steps)

i’m getting more comfortable with driving and am starting to even enjoy it!! actively seeking it out!! that’s never happened before!!

i’m learning to understand my own value and recognize that my sense of self-worth is wrong— that i’m more than my successes and failures just by living and trying new things and not limiting myself (again!! baby steps but steps forward)

and i’m learning that i am valuable and worthy of basic things (love, respect, objects, time, etc. a concept!! but we’re learning)

reframing things to have a positive mindset!! i’m not indecisive. i’m taking time trying to make a thoughtful and informed decision. i’m not a failure. i’m just trying something for the first time and learning to enjoy the process

i’m finding something that makes me smile each day!! at least one thing, every day, to share with a friend or savor a moment for myself even if it’s as small as going for a little walk rather than immediately going from point A to point B (and not seeing that as a hassle!! it’s an unexpected adventure or a new routine to have!! reframing things has been helpful)

journalling more!! oh my god i haven’t journaled regularly in a g e s but it’s been so nice to journal about some good things in my life or, if scary/bad/overwhelming things are happening, then taking some time to write out and tackle some of those stresses to make them more manageable

not! suffering! in! silence! (this is still a wip but!! we’re learning to just. talk to people! reach out! i’m still bad at starting and maintaining conversations bc i get overwhelmed easily, but im trying to be better about trusting that people know their boundaries and limits and what they have the time/energy/capacity to handle in that moment or later on. aka!! unlearning this idea that i’m a burden to everyone and everything around me. i’m just me!! and people care about me. and i need to trust that this is true. and learn to believe it)

eating fruit regularly— this sounds silly but holy shit. eating at least one fruit a day?? life changing

i started therapy!! and then fell off but that was still big!! and a new experience for me

the power of a candle— the power of a little bright light and good smell in the space around you?? immense

i started a little tradition where i get new piercings on my birthday to celebrate the day and we’re feeling!! so much more comfortable in our own skin these days

and maybe there’s more but!! these have been really big and important moments for me that i want to remember having— and maybe remind myself of for a rainy day

there’s good in this world and i hope that— if anyone is reading this— that you also are experiencing some good things in your life or learning to see things as a good and valuable and important, too!!

[gothsuguru]

HI HELLO IM BREAKING INTO UR INBOX W TEARS IN MY EYES…………… 😭😭 i just read all ur tags on my sugu fics and when i tell you i CRIED YOURE SOO??? so so SO sweet and thoughtful????? I HOPE YOUR DINNER WAS THE TASTIEST EVER bc ur tags made my whole weekend <333333 literally every single thing u said made me go YES YOU GET IT like… im just gonna mention a couple things phsjdhs IM REALLY SOSO GRATEFUL <333 

FIRST OFF just . everything u said abt my writing in general??? is soooo unbelievably kind??? T_T like abt the setting and prose and etc!!! i got soooo happy every time u said u felt like u were really There LIKE THAT MEANS SO MUCH…. ”it’s like i’m living inside your words” ARE U TRYING TO KILL ME </3 sob. thank u :’< 

and aaa im so glad u liked all three fics even though theyre a bit different!! 🥺🥺 i just rlly feel like u understood what i was trying to convey w certain characters and lines and stuff and it means soooo much??? SUGU IS A DEVOTED LOVERBOY YESYESYES U GET IT!!!!! U UNDERSTAND!!!! ”devoted” & ”intense” are the PERFECT words for him i cant tell u how much i agree. AND SOO NURTURING YES WE’RE SO LINKED he’s so mother he’s so husbandwife <333 IM JUST NODDING ALONG TO EVERYTHING U SAY like genuinely. food as love was the theme for that particular fic hehe im so glad u noticed!!! 

AAAA AND UR TAGS ON THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC ……. thats probably my fave sugu fic out of the ones ive written ngl i was sooo happy to see that u liked it 😭😭😭 U GET IT U DO… like their love could be platonic or romantic but it doesnt rlly matter bc they just love each other sooo much. HE’S A GHIBLI BOY YES i’m so glad u see the vision <33

IM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG i just need you to know that i see you and i love you and i appreciate you <3333 tysm for reading my silly lil fics and taking the time to write such thoughtful tags!!! 🥺🥺 im tucking them all away into my heart hehe. wishing u the most wonderful weekend ever !!!! mwah mwah mwah <33

OMG PLEASENDNDNDND your writing is literally SO stunning methinks you have the best rendition of suguru out there… like it’s so TELLING how much you love suguru (and satoru bc TRUST i’m gonna be in the tags of those fics too) and also i just really like how much personality you give to the reader as well! like everyone just is so fleshed out & 3-dimensional like they don’t feel like Just Characters In A Story they feel like real people & honestly magnificent writing to me always makes me feel like i’m watching a movie - and your writing does that! as i’m reading i’m envisioning everything like a movie & that’s the best compliment i can give fr <3 again it’s a testament to your beautiful dialogue, scene setting, storytelling, and YES PROSE!!!!! THAT’S THE WORD I WAS LOOKING FOR THE ENTIRE TIMENFNFNFNF your PROSE is beautiful 😭 it’s very COZY & PRETTY i love it

& OMG I WAS ABLE 2 UNDERSTAND BC YOU CONVEY EVERYTHING SO WELL!!!!! i was never confused i was Always In It <3 AND YES YOU SPOKE #REAL bc sugu is the ULTIMATE devoted loverboy… & i love how his intensity is just innate to him like he can’t help but love fully and with his whole entire mind, heart, body, & soul! and i also like how it isn’t an uncomfortable intensity or overbearing in a bad way - it’s just like a really nice weighted blanket and i LOVE that. & omg i’ve come to love food motifs so much………. whether it be hunger for something, cannibalism to get to the core of someone’s being, peeling clementines as an act of selflessness/love for someone else, or just sweet soft feeding your lover in bed bc you want them to eat well… that’s some delicious fucking food. & YESSSSSS nurturing caretaker sugu my beloved………. i think i read somewhere i forgot if it was just a random post here but someone said that suguru has such natural paternal instincts and that’s so real… like he’s mother he’s father he’s husbandwife he’s Transcended everything… the ultimate DadMom of the group… i just know his tote bag has bandaids, water, & snacks for everyone and he’s just the One you go to talk to about anything (again just like your sugu <3) OH AND ALSO i really like how devoted the reader is too! i Myself am a devoted lovergirl so i Feel seen

THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC WAS SO FUCKING &/@/$/&//@/&:! why’d i get transported to a quaint town w the boy i’ve been in love since childhood and now he grew into a wondrous handsome man… trust that for Me if it involves sugu i’m immediately going romantic mode like i’m sorry i’m so Desperately In Love with him i can’t be normal <3 that fic is so fucking rich and filled w real problems that teens/ppl in their twenties face! the fear of the unknown but it feels like anything is possible and doable with someone like suguru by your side! AND YES HE IS SOOOOO HAKU-CODED TO ME (my first bf since i was a kid… coincidence? methinks not…) and also i reallllllllly love your fic of suguru going to reader’s apartment to declare war but he instead goes & has tea & cookies instead… i think i read that fic ages ago on ao3 and i could never find it again so it’s so Poetic Cinema that i found it here and that it was YOU and that you created so many more amazing fics… like i’m so well fed omfg & i’m super excited for anything you have coming out next!

AND OMG IT’S ABSOLUTELY MY PLEASURE! THANK YOU FOR CREATING SUCH BEAUTIFUL STORIES THAT I WILL KEEP TUCKED IN MY BRAIN & HEART <3 i will never forget you twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat… for as long as i live 🫡☝🏼 BUT FR!!!!! thank you for creating such wonderful premises for stories! i’m ecstatic to read anything you come out with next <3 mwah mwah mwah

^ me when reading your fics

[bigusbossus]

Nia can I ask you for a little advice? I know this is mostly a silly Metal Gear blog but you’re a little older than me and also an autistic trans guy who likes men so you’re the only person I can think of who really fits this bill.

For a while now I’ve called myself bisexual but now I’m really starting to doubt that and I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know. I think I might be gay. Whenever I’m attracted to a woman it feels superficial, and even then it’s still fairly rare.

I’m attracted to maybe 3 woman and a lot of men. I know that doesn’t necessarily dictate anything but I don’t know. I can’t really imagine myself even having sex with a woman outside of the typical male ego stroking way where it’s more about status than anything else.

I look at nsfw artwork of women and I’m able to get off to it, sure, but I’m never really attracted to any real videos of women and I’m just so confused. I used to consider myself asexual which was partially because of this and partially because of my dysphoria making it impossible to imagine having sex as a woman- I found the idea of it completely repulsive. Maybe I still am somewhere on the asexual spectrum. I don’t know. I’m just so confused Nia.

I have a girlfriend and I care about her a lot but I just can’t imagine myself ever having sex with her. I don’t think I’m attracted to her at all. Even most of the fictional women I’m attracted to are all quite masculine and I just don’t know. I love her a lot and I don’t want to hurt her but I just don’t think I’m attracted to women.

i understand so much and I'm so sorry you're struggling with this, sexuality is such a weird complex thing and not all things need labels but also I feel compelled to give my two cents bc I've gone through this before and I didn't realize I wasn't into women as much as I thought I was until 2 years ago. for most of my life I've identified as pan and I've had more girlfriends than boyfriends (though those girlfriends were before I came out as a guy) and always wondered why my relationships with women just felt weird and off. like I can look at a woman and go wow she's bangable but not actually want to do anything with her, but when I see guys im like " OHHH FUCK HES BREEDABLE!!!", when I was with women it always just felt like I was pretending?? i didn't realize that wasn't normal until I got with my boyfriend and everything felt natural. like when I got intimate with a woman it felt more like I was roleplaying than actually feeling it. i still thought they were very physically attractive I just didn't like them that way I guess. even after publicly being out and presenting as a guy I still tried being with women but in the end It felt the same, like I was with them for the ego stroking part 😭

I found out I am homoromantic and ace with a preference for men. to be specific aegosexual which is like.. " yiss sexual stuff ...but no not irl and not to me" and I can really only feel comfortable doing something intimate with someone I've known for a while and is a guy (and preferably trans too). but like I said not everything needs a label, and sexuality is a weird thing, like you can identify as mostly gay but be attracted to some women like how ace people can be attracted to some people

it looks like you're in a really tough spot right now and I think that you should really talk with your girlfriend about this when you're ready because if you go on it won't only hurt her but yourself too. you can still care and love for someone while not being attracted to them and it's definitely best to just be honest with her, im sure she'd appreciate the honesty too. I hope everything turns out for the best man :(( sorry I don't really know how to give good life advice but I think you should start with talking about this with her and I know that's going to take alot of courage but it would be for the best

[evil8keta]

Pyro, Scout and Sniper with insomniac s/o? I usually don’t get much sleep and wake up randomly at night often, got worse :’) Thanks btw

im so sorry to hear that bro, i hope it gets better for u soon <3 here's your favorite dumbasses, they love you so much

insomniac s/o

SCOUT

- the first time you told him about your insomnia, he was surprised. like, what do you mean you can't sleep? just.. go to bed?? he didn't know much about the condition, so at first this mf didn't even take it seriously... but when he noticed how often you stayed up all night only to be tired and sad the next day, he started to worry!

- he wants to help, but doesn't really know how. that results in scout doing stupid things just to help you out. for example, he gave you some shady meds that he stole from medic (please do NOT take those... but not gonna lie it was kind of sweet of him?). eventually, he'll straight up ask you questions about your condition (if you're comfortable answering) so he can learn and support you more!! :)

- very understanding whenever you feel down because of lack of sleep!! as soon as he notices he's on his way to cheer you up, whether that's by doing something silly to make you laugh or actually sitting down with you and letting you vent to him

- scout told you many, many times that he's not leaving your side until he's absolutely sure you're asleep, so prepare to spend the nights by being held in his arms. and i mean- yeah, he DID say that he's not falling asleep until you do, but most of the time scout is knocked out cold the moment his body hits the bed. but it's the thought that counts, right?

PYRO

- pyro doesn't know much about insomnia either, but they knew something was wrong with you right away. eye bags, very low energy, random naps during the day... needless to say, pyro is very concerned!! they didn't want to assume anything, so they asked you what's wrong and you told them about your sleeping disorder -- cue pyro going into research mode so they can find a way to help you as much as they can!!!

- very, very good listener. if you need to vent, they're totally here for you!

- they also stay up with you! if you can't fall asleep at all during the night, pyro will just pull out some paper and color pencils so you guys can do something instead, in hopes that this will make you tired yet relaxed enough to fall asleep. whether or not you do actually sleep, pyro remains calm. they don't blame you and are quite patient with you. it's very clear that pyro cares about you and they're willing to do anything to make you happy

- when you actually do fall asleep, whether it's during the night or day, they let you sleep in their room! covered in their fluffy blankets and surrounded by plushies of unicorns of course ;D not only that, but they stand guard outside to make sure nothing, and i repeat NOTHING, disturbs you! if anyone even comes near and demands you to come out for whatever work they need you to do, you better believe they will be chased away by an angry pyro with a fireaxe

SNIPER

- sniper has the most experience with sleeping disorders because even he sometimes spends the nights restless. he's a pretty trustworthy guy, so chances are you told him about your condition pretty early on. due to this, sniper also managed to quickly pick up on any habits and patterns that either help you fall asleep or make you stay up. such as what level of lighting or temperature is comfortable for you!

- very prepared!! if another night where you just can't fall asleep occurs, sniper knows right away. you don't even gotta tell him, bro just knows. and you bet he's already making you some tea and picking out books he can read to you. his voice can be pretty soothing :) this man is very good at setting up a cozy and relaxing enviroment

- completely understands if you feel sad and tired during daytime! sniper reassures you that it's okay if you just rest for the day and nap while he runs errands for you so you have as little work to do as possible

- like i mentioned before, sniper also sometimes has nights where he can't fall asleep. usually he solves this by going outside and just chilling but if you're awake too he is NOT leaving you!! instead he lays your head on his lap and just pets your hair gently until you finally doze off, no matter how long it may take

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Gulps…, hellohi.. confession I’ve been daydreaming about angst recently and that cult leader Geto drabble u wrote only made me think about it even more… <///333 ignore that I’m a little bit obsessed with the mentally ill/traumatised reader + stsg trope but… can u really blame me ☹️ they would be so good and I think they would be the best comfort u could possible have :((

Ok but. more specifically reader with a rough childhood (a lil like sugu.. he def has some sort of daddy/mommy issues i will die on that hill) or some sort of abandonment/trust issues that has a habit of self sabotaging or intentionally distancing themselves. More specifically maybe grown up stsg where they’re a little more mature and have more of a grasp on how to help you better.. maybe reader has a nightmare or something, goes out for a smoke on the balcony etc etc.. sugu meets them out there n. They just have a good old fashioned talk like :( just being honest and vulnerable because it’s late and u just need a hug most of all :(( def ends with him carrying reader back to bed n playing with ur hair until you fall back asleep GODDDD KILL ME NOW ☹️☹️ moments of tenderness/vulnerability are my absolutely favourite thing in writing/shows/etc ESPECIALLY when it’s from characters that usually don’t display those sort of feelings because you just know it means there’s such a strong bond between them…. Can u hear my heart breaking

^^ either this one or reader with trust issues that’s a little cat-like personality wise (which I think fits so beautifully because stsg are the most wolf coded boys ever) who’s fully convinced they’re better off on their own, they don’t need friends or people to rely on. Until they meet stsg!!!!! Because suddenly there are two irritatingly charming losers following you around and worming their way into your heart and you just. Physically cannot bring yourself to deny them, even if it’s a little scary allowing people in. And god i think it would make them feel SO special once you started warming up to them. Allowing satoru to greet you with hugs or pinch ur cheeks… letting sugu baby you a little…… (distant screaming)

THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER YAP SESSION BY ME ^_^ it’s literally so late at night rn I don’t know why these ideas always come to me just as I’m about to sleep ffs ☹️ N E WAYYYSSSS im looking forward to that satoru fic/drabble thing u were talking about :3 a mix of scared and excited ngl I feel like I gotta prepare myself incase it’s angsty….. but WHAT HAVE U BEEN UP TO?? It’s literally just been grey n windy where I am so I hope ur getting better weather where u are 😞😞 I HOPE U HAVE BEEN HAVING FUN N TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF!!

(Also irrelevant but I was just about to add a silly image to finish and I stumbled across this image of satoru and I’m laughing my ass of why is he so lanky?????? I could NOT be his friend I would just make fun of him for being built like a fucking STICKBUG 😭😭😭 LOOK AT THE RESEMBLANCE)

(Yes I made the second image myself what do you think of my artistic talent ^_^ ignore the flag)

HELLO HI MY DEAREST OLLIE i am gulping right with you ……… this made me so insane 😔😔

i’ve said it before n i’ll say it again . ariollie STAYS synced up i’m convinced we share a brain……. your scenarios always make me feel so ill (affectionate) and this scenario just means sm to me :((( they really would be the best!!! a reader like that would be treated so tenderly and with sm understanding…. especially since suguru and satoru had rough upbringings too!! (not canon for sugu maybe but i agree w you 100% ollie i literally can’t see his childhood being anything but messed up…. he def has both mommy and daddy issues i know my own kind 🙏🙏)

aaaaa just!!! yeah. reader isolating themselves when they feel down and overwhelmed and being taken care of so effortlessly… stsg just wouldn’t let you face your struggles alone. you’re a team!!! and yeah grown up stsg would for sure be the best at this. i think that as teens they won’t know exactly how to help/might be a little overwhelming….. but as adults they’re more mature and grounded and have a better understanding of your struggles and their own!!! goshhhhh the balcony scene 😔😔😔 ollie do you want my heart to shatter (also what if i told you that exact scenario has popped up in my head multiple times we’re so linked) suguru would just be so vulnerable and patient and caring :(((( our papa bear…. carries you to bed and lulls you to sleep. for sure makes you a warm cup of tea too… sighhh i need him i fear 💔💔

AND AND ANDDDD a catlike reader 😵‍💫😵‍💫 one of my personal favs. independent and a little distant….. used to being on their own……. very picky with who they allow close. it’s just PERFECT for stsg (WOLFCODED BOYS SO TRUEEE)… ollie the way you describe it all makes me feel ILLLL they really would feel so honoured 😭😭😭 cue satoru melting into a puddle when you finally wrap your arms around him….. suguru literally grinning like an idiot (he’s trying DESPERATELY not to but it’s impossible) when you shyly ask him for affection. yeahhhh their hearts would explode i think

ANOTHER BANGER YAP SESSION FROM OLLIEEE i look forward to them sm yknow!!! i can always trust you to have the tastiest stsg scenarios ready to go 🙏🙏🙏 i’m a lil late to this BUT i hope you had a cozy sleep my friend <3 AND WAHH i’m so glad you’re excited for bfb!satoru!!!! i’m gonna try to get it out by next weekend…… i promise not to make it angsty hehe it’s just a lil bittersweet!!! a tiny bit!!!! (depends on how you feel abt the unrequited love trope though 😭😭) IT’S GRAY N WINDY HERE TOO i’m hoping for more sunlight soon………. and i’m doing well hehe i’ve been playing a bunch of pj sekai + watching my favorite streamer play zero escape >:33 WHAT ABT UUU OLLIE what have you been up to?? good things i hope!!! pls remember to rest up and take care of yourself as well <333 it’s what stsg would’ve wanted!!!

(also PHDKDVDJDJYFU NOT THE SATORU SLANDER?????? 😭😭😭 LEAVE MY STICKBUG ALONE???????? i snorted so loud thank you for the free art it’s beautiful <333 i’m gna print it and hang it on my wall.)