#im just a really intense person and im really scared of saying it

[that-gay-computer]

we should normalize talking abt big feelings methinks

[bangcakes]

.

[bunnihearted]

🥡

[mejomonster]

Ridiculously depressed but I am running ragged (which is surely worsening the depression ToT) so like the idea of weekly therapy to further exhaust me and trigger the anxiety more doesn't sound super compatible

[snekdood]

Ppl gotta understand that just bc you do x thing because you're mentally ill, doesnt mean your actions dont have the same effect if you weren't. Like if you've been manipulative to your friends, you cant get mad at them for not sympathizing entirely with you when you go on about how they dont accept you for your mentally ilness. Regardless of your reason, you were still manipualtive, you fucked with peoples trust. Theyre still gonna have trust issues about you even if its bc of whatever mental illness you have.

[mrfoox]

Once I learn the difference between me having a crush and me being (hyper)fixated on a person, it's all over

[celestialmancer]

⛈️ ❌ ❌ ❌ // 2:09 am, tbd ;

[ivestas]

a good shot

Summary: König had a staring problem, so you confront him about it. 

Tags: sniper!fem!reader x konig, platonic!141 x reader, barely edited, awkward, unintentional confession(?)

Word count: 1.1k

Note: my mw2 obsession is real. been trying to deny it but its all that occupies my brain.... send some reqs?? i have such a bad habit of saying that then not following thru but i promise i will LMFAOOO (nah but fr tho im working on ur guys’ requests, just veryyyy slowly since, again, mw2 brainrot) also sorry if this seems rushed, i just wanted to get this idea out of my head hehe

König had a staring problem. 

You really didn’t know why, but whenever he was near, you could practically feel his gaze burn a hole through your skin. 

You weren’t one to care for stares—you were used to it, especially in your early years as a merc. Most would just be curious why a woman was wearing a bullet vest, especially civilians. 

But... König’s eyes were intense. Nothing like the curious—or even hateful—looks you were used to. 

You were sure you hadn’t done anything wrong; you barely spoke, never really caring too. You kept to yourself. You didn’t particularly stand out next to your flamboyant peers. 

So... why? 

You’d first asked Soap about it: he was a people person, always seemed to know someone’s intentions in an instant. 

However, he was confused. “He stares at you?” 

"You hadn’t noticed?” 

“No? I barely see the lad in general, always skulkin’ in some shadow.” 

“Seriously?” You frowned. “Then you think you’d know why?”

“Hmmm... here, maybe if I get my crystal ball and ponder for a bit I can find out!” 

"Shove the ball up your ass instead.” You snorted. Soap laughed, probably at his own joke than yours. 

Getting up, you headed to your next target: Ghost. 

You found him in the mess hall, taking apart his rifle on one of the cafeteria tables by himself. Without a second thought, you slid beside him. He didn’t acknowledge you.

Propping your head up with a hand, you look at him. Despite it being night, he’s still wearing his balaclava and shades. You decided it’s best not to make a comment about it since you’re trying to pry answers regarding the Austrian Colossus. 

“You’ve noticed König staring at me, right?” 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“Do you think you’d know why? I’m sure I hadn’t done anything to piss him off, but he’s always just... you know...” you widen your eyes, leaning in. “Doing this. I don’t know whether to be unsettled or flattered.” 

Ghost carefully puts two pieces of his rifle together, a satisfying click resonating in the air. “Maybe he’s surprised why the 141 got a clown for a sniper.” He intoned. 

“Says the guy wearing a skeleton balaclava and tinted shades—scared the enemies are gonna find out you’re actually just a loser with nothing to his name?” You said the words too quickly, and when Ghost looked at you, he probably knew the thought was bubbling in your head. 

"...” 

“...” 

You couldn’t help the laugh that crawled out your throat, and you noticed that the corners of Ghost’s eyes crinkled. 

“...So you don’t know?” 

He snorted. “I’m no psychic.” 

Sighing, you rose from your seat, leaving Ghost once more in his own bubble. 

You really didn’t want to, but you realized you were gonna have to ask from the source itself—König.  

Now, you didn’t consider yourself a shy or anxious person, but there was something so imposing about König; maybe it was the fact he literally towers over you like some Goliath, or maybe it’s the fact he only speaks in raspy monosyllables, or, maybe, it was the fact that he just always stares at you, but you couldn’t deny the nervousness that writhed in the pit of your stomach. 

But curiosity shined over it, because just why would he just stare? 

So, you decided to head to the shooting field: it was an open secret that König often lurked there at night, shooting away at the targets from the day. No one really complained since he’d replace the targets with new ones at the end of every session.

The walk was short; just a quick turn through some halls and out through a door and you’re in the range. 

König was some meters away, hunched over a stack of crates and a sniper under his arm. His back was to you. 

You stepped on a stray stick just beside your foot. His head shot up. 

He turned around in an instant, sniper tight in his hand. 

They were right. He’s antsy. 

“Hey, König.” 

“...” 

You slowly approached as though he were a frightful deer... but perhaps a cautious bear would be a more accurate descriptor. He could kill you in seconds. 

Like anyone can. It doesn’t scare you. 

Admittedly, it’s a little exciting.

“Can I talk to you about something?” 

“...yes.” 

 “Your eyes—uh, you stare. A lot.” 

His gaze flickered away. 

“Just wondering why you just... stare. I’m pretty sure we’ve never spoken, either—”

“We’ve spoken,” he cut in. Rough and light, as usual. “Mostly on missions though.” 

“Oh... well, I’m just wondering if I pissed you off, somehow? Earned your ire? I’m dumb, I forget and I can be socially unaware—”

“No, no, no!” His eyes rounded, the sniper loosened in his hands. “No, you didn’t! I just, well...”

“...well?” You echoed, prompting him to continue. 

He did. 

“You’re nice to look at.”

Your brain froze. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

“I’m sorry, is that weird?—it is, isn’t it? I apologize, I—”

“No, wait, I’m really flattered, I just—” you laugh breathlessly. In disbelief. “That’s just really fucking flattering.” You can feel your face light up with heat, and all the neat composure you’ve built wash away completely. 

Now, you’re reduced to a blushing schoolgirl at a complete loss for words. 

What were you supposed to say? What does that even mean? Is that an admission of some crush, or were you just eye candy to him?—and did you like that, like his attention or are you just that deprived of contact? 

You force your eyes to his, and you realize he’s hunched over, rubbing at the metal butt of his sniper with a thumb, eyes everywhere except on yours. 

"So...” you rubbed your wrist. “What now?”

He finally looked at you. “Huh?”

You were this far already, you weren’t gonna back down yet. Even if your heart was slamming against your chest. “You just called me pretty? And I have a feeling you’re easy on the eyes too—maybe this is too quick—but wanna hang out then? Like, talk and stuff... because... I’m pretty?”

König stared for a moment before breaking into a laugh. “It would be an honor.” 

“Then let’s hang out right now! Stay here, I’m gonna grab my sniper and we’re gonna shoot shit till bullets’re covering the ground!!” 

König extended his sniper. “Use mine. I want to see how you shoot.” His eyes fluttered, gaze awkwardly averting yet again. You were beginning to find it endearing. “You’re a good shot. And I’d like to get better.” 

“And watching me will help you?”

“Yes,” he said the word with earnest, eyes bright. 

A crooked smile pulled at your lips. Fuck, you weren’t used to this. 

But you liked it. You liked it a lot. You just hoped you could eventually make him feel the same. 

AO3

Masterlist

Requests are open

[cupcakeslushie]

I know that Hamatos are all really confused about what happened to Donnie, but I can see April getting legitimately pissed and starting down every lead she can find to dig up the truth detective style. Because messing with people and being a bully is one thing, but manipulating and abusing someone enough to change their personality is another. And she messed with HER family. And “you’ve done it now- when I get you I swear to god-“

Not sure if April would find anything but I can see her initial reaction being frustration rather than confusion.

@starrobot96 @snipersiniora

I’m honestly leaning more towards Raph and April having the most intense reactions to what’s been done to Donnie. Raph, because he’s still dealing with his own Krang trauma. So Kendra messing with his little brother, similar to what was done to him. That’s gonna make him want to rip her apart. I don’t think he’d kill her. But Kendra is definitely not getting out of this Scott free.

Raph will more than likely be leading the charge in Donnie’s rescue, because I don’t think he would go with them willingly, and Raph’s not about to make Leo or Mikey be the one to drag Don away while he’s screaming and resisting. Raph would take that role solely onto himself.

Leo is way out of his comfort zone. During the actual search, he’s more serious than he’s been since the invasion. Thinking that everything will be okay once they can just get Donnie home. But when they do, one desperate, good-natured joke has Donnie terrified of even looking at Leo. From then on, Leo makes that distance bigger, by avoiding Donnie, scared of setting of another panic attack. Even when Donnie starts to reach out, Leo is now hesitant to say anything. That was their whole type of sibling dynamic, ribbing and joking with each other. But now Donnie is like a stranger.

Mikey really hammers away with the toxic positivity. It’s not his fault. He’s just so out of his depth. He’s not a baby, but this is intense stuff. Trauma that he always steered away from in his Dr. Feeling research. But now that knowledge is necessary…looking into it really takes a toll on his own mental well being, bad enough that Splinter sees and puts a stop to it.

April is frustrated with her own investigative ability, and feels guilty, because Kendra wouldn’t have even known about Donnie, if she hadn’t asked him to come by her school. We know, that’s more than likely NOT true, as the boys run into criminals all the time, but April isn’t thinking logically.

Im still not sure about the exact how’s of Donnie’s rescue, but April will probably be the one he latches onto most in the aftermath. The fake simulations with her, were never as bad as the ones with his brothers (ie physically painful) so even though he would be scared to talk to her, and be seen as annoying, Donnie will let her get the closest to help him. He goes from trying to desperately please Kendra, to trying to desperately please April, and it makes her insanely uncomfortable. But she doesn’t want to scare him off when he’s not giving any of them many openings to help. She has to be very careful with walking that line between helping Donnie recover, and making things worse by enabling all of Kendra’s programming.

April’s really gonna carry the brunt of Donnie’s recovery.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi! im 15 with awfully heavy periods and my parents + doctors (gyno, therapist, etc) think its necessary for me to get a marina (hormone implants in your vagina i think, im too scared to look it up if im being honest.) the problem is that im really opposed to it because i dont want anyone touching me downstairs, and my auntie said it would really hurt.

do you think i should get it, probably be really distressed for a few weeks but be fine with my period for the next handful of years, or keep looking for less invasive options that might be more expensive and less effective?

thanks!

hello there! thank you for your question!

so, first off, I'm just going to say that your body is yours and you get to make the decisions about what happens with it. if you don't want a Mirena implant, that's your decision and you have every right to make that choice, end of.

I do think it's valuable to have a full sense of what exactly you're saying no to, so if it's okay I would like to do a little walkthrough of the information about the IUD that you've been avoiding looking into. I'm gonna do my best to make it unscary, I promise.

Mirena IUDs are placed in the uterus, hence the name; "IUD" stands for intrauterine device.

there it will decrease chances of pregnancy by releasing small amounts of levonorgestrel. this will cause thickening of the mucus in your cervix (the space between your vagina and uterus) to make it harder for sperm to ever reach and egg and thinning of the lining of your uterus to make it harder for any fertilized eggs to attach there and grow into a pregnancy.

menstruation happens when your body rids itself of unused uterine lining, which is why many people find their periods are lighter when they have an IUD - less lining ideally equals less blood, less cramping, and less pain overall.

usually, this decrease in period intensity happens after 3 months of having an IUD in place. some people with IUDs - about 20%, certainly not a majority but not an insignificant number - stop having a period entirely after a year or more.

once an IUD is put in place, it's good for up to eight years, although it can be taken out any time earlier than that if you want it removed sooner.

common side effects experienced by people with IUDs are similar to what many people experience on their periods: headaches, acne, sore breasts, cramping, and emotional irregularities. bleeding for the first few months is also common; many find that their bleeding will be worse before it gets better.

it's also uncommon, but not impossible, for your IUD to slip out of place. there are several risk factors that make this more likely, including youth (under the age of 20), having long and difficult periods, and if you've been pregnant.

in regards to your worry about pain during implantation, it's not unreasonable. very few people that I know of would describe the process as particularly comfortable, and it's very painful for some. while the trade off of brief discomfort for 8 years of instant birth control can certainly be worth it for some, it's ultimately a personal decision and up to you to weigh the pros and cons to decide what's best for you.

if you're interested in seeking out other forms of medical intervention for your periods, there are plenty of other forms of hormonal birth control to look at. a similar method worth comparing would be the hormonal implant that goes in your arm and lasts for three years; it's obviously not as long-lasting but can provide similar benefits without requiring anyone to touch your genitalia.

I hope this helps.

[imaginecolby]

silent sufferer || c.b.

summary: when you sustain an injury while exploring with the boys, you keep it a secret, as to not distract from the investigation. requested by anonymous.

“how are you doin’?” colby asked as he sat down with you. you’d joined him and sam on an investigation, and the three of you were taking a quick break after he and sam ran through the history of the place you were at. you smiled at him and nodded.

“i’m okay.” you said softly. this was your first investigation with the boys, and you were quite nervous. but you put on a brave face, because past all the nerves, were were actually excited. this was something you’ve gotten to watch sam and colby do numerous times, and you were happy that colby invited you along. 

“good.” colby said, pressing a kiss to your temple. “don’t be afraid to speak up if you’re uncomfortable or anything. we can stop at any point.” he said, kissing you again. you nodded, before sam turned his attention to the two of you. 

“alright, are we ready?” he asked, and you and colby nodded in unison. 

as the investigation began, the three of you made your way through the location, capturing a good amount of evidence throughout your first walkthrough. 

you’d become a little on edge, but colby was constantly reminding you that he was there for you, and that you could stop at anytime if you were too scared.

but you pushed through. you really were having a good time. capturing the evidence in real time was something you could never fully explain in words. it was something so crazy, and so intense, it was really life changing.

you’d wandered off on your own after a while, separating ever so slightly from the boys, as you explored the area. you walked carefully, as there were holes and debris all over the floor, that you didn’t want to trip over. you stood quietly by yourself, completely open and allowing spirits to speak or let themselves be known. 

you were having a solo moment, listening for anything that may be present or had a message to share. you were so deep into yourself, that when the boys yelled in reaction to their music box going off, you were genuinely scared. you jumped, tripping over something in the hallway. you caught your fall just before your chin met the floor, but you felt a twinge of pain in your ankle. you brushed it off as you caught back up with sam and colby, listening listened as they recapped for the camera, and stuck together the rest of the night.

as you continued walking around, you could tell that you really messed up your ankle when you fell. you could feel yourself limping, but you tried your hardest to hide it as to not take away from the investigation.

as the night finished up, you helped the boys pack up their equipment, and you began to head back to the hotel. once you returned and made your way up to your room, you hopped in the shower and looked down at your ankle. 

“holy shit.” you sighed. your ankle was bruised all around your ankle. it was definitely worse than you thought. after your shower, you limped down the hall to get some ice. once you filled your bucket, and turned to head back to your room, you saw colby coming out of the sam’s room. as soon as he laid eyes on you, you crumbled under gaze, and suddenly felt like the worse person in the world for hiding your injury from him.

“are you limping?” he asked as you met at your room door.

“yeah.” you said softly. you went into your room, and colby followed close behind. you sat on the bed and lifted up your foot, showing off your ankle.

“y/n, what the hell? why didn’t you say anything?” colby asked. he placed your foot in his lap, placing the ice on your ankle.

“im sorry, i didn’t want to distract from the investigation or anything.” you pouted. colby let out a loud sigh and just shook his head.

“you know that wouldn’t have been a problem. safety comes first for all of us, you included.” he said. you sat there silently, watching colby as he stacked some pillows at the end of the bed to elevate your foot. he replaced the ice around your ankle. “do you think it’s broken?” he asked, and you shook your head.

“no. i can still put weight on it, and it’s not excruciatingly painful. i think it’s just this bruised because i fell.”

“you fell?” colby asked, almost in a scolding tone.

“i tripped. i don’t know what it was over, some debris or something. it was too dark and i couldn’t tell what it was.” you explained.

“y/n, you could've gotten seriously hurt.” he sighed.

“but i didn’t!” you joked. colby just stared at you, hurt in his eyes. you knew he worried about you, but you hated feeling like you’d disappointed him. “colby, really. im fine. its just some swelling. i already took some ibuprofen, and it’ll go down.” 

“i just hate feeling like i could've done something to prevent this.” he pouted.

“its okay. this was my own doing. you were working on your video, and i wandered off on my own. it doesn't matter how close we could've been watching each other, we risk getting hurt on every one of these trips.”

“i know, i know. and i know you don’t need me to, but i feel a responsibility to protect you. especially when im the one who invites you on these trips.”

“you don't have to feel bad. it’s not like you pushed me down the stairs or anything.” you laughed. colby huffed a laugh, staring down at your foot in his lap.

“you really fucked this up, didn’t you?” 

“so bad.’ you laughed again. “its actually kind of embarrassing.” you added. colby laughed again, and carefully moved your foot from his lap.

“can i get you anything else?” he asked, and you shook your head.

“im good. thank you, baby.” you said with a smile. he moved to the other side of the bed, climbing in to sit next to you. he draped his arm around your shoulders and you leaned into his side. you felt him press a kiss to the top of your head, and you channel surfed for a while before finding something to watch. you stopped on a random movie, which you barely remember watching before you fell asleep. 

you slept pretty uncomfortably that night, since you were trying to keep your leg still and elevated on the stack of pillows. the next morning was a travel day, as you and the boys were heading back to las vegas. you and colby were moving around your room as he was helping you get ready and pack your things.

“hows your ankle?” he asked.

“i can see that the swelling has already gone down, thankfully. still sore as hell, though.” you said, sliding into your shoes. 

“i still can’t believe you kept this from me.” he said, helping you from the bed and walking with you down the hall.

“well, you know about it now, so, ..” you trailed off. colby just laughed and shook his head. you met sam down in the lobby and made your way to the airport. the flight back wasn’t as bad as you anticipated it was going to be, as you ended up having the row to yourself and could put your foot up on the seats next to you. you slept on and off throughout the flight, and once you finally made it home, colby was insistent on coming with you so he could continue to take care of you. you knew better than to fight him on it, so you and him made your way back to your apartment.

you plopped down on the couch, colby setting up the living room with various snacks and drinks, and making sure you were comfortable. thankfully, after one more day, the swelling and bruising around your ankle finally went down and you were able to walk normally without limping. 

“thank you for taking care of me.” you said with a smile, colby packing up to head back home since you were doing better.

“you don’t have to thank me. that’s what im here for.” he said, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“but im still thankful.” you said, kissing him again. “i love you.”

“i love you.” he repeated, followed by another kiss. you stood at your front door, watching as colby left, waving as he drove down your street and out of sight towards his home.

he really was too good to you. but you appreciated him more than you could ever put into words.

[cathers-world]

here me out.

accidentally walking in on Wilbur jerking off to the sims sex mod.

Kinktobor

AFAB they/them but you can change them

Context: you and Wilbur are roommates and besties!

SUB WILBUR

not proof read

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you and wilbur have been friends for a long time, so you decided to buy a house together. soon after wilbur had to go on tour but that's ok.

after wilbur came back he started getting into the Sims 4, you ever thought anything of it because... why would you its just the Sims you never played it yourself but you knew what it was.

whenever wilbur was playing the Sims he left the door open but recently he been closing the door which made you wonder what he was doing.

so one day you go up to his door and knock "oh shit one second!" he yelled clearly in a panic, you hear shuffling and... clothes moving?

"come in!" he says "what are you doing?" you ask looking at his computer which was off but you knew he was playing the Sims, he told you! so you were confused

"oh um- nothing..." he looked scared like he just got caught, which you thought was weird. you guys had been friends for years you never hid anything from each other.

"ok..." you say suspiciously, closing his door confused

*time skip*

it was a few days later and you forgot about the incident. "WILL I'M GOING OUT!" you yell to him in his office where he was playing the sims...again "OKAY!" he yelled back. he sounded out of breath but ok.

*wilburs pov*

I know this is wrong and fucking stupid. making me and my roommate and best friend in the Sims, downloading a sex mod just to watch our sims fuck.

but it turned me on so much I didnt mean for it to get this far I dont even play the fucking game i just make us fuck and I just jerk off to it.

Y/N left and they always are gone for hours so I didn't close the door this time. so I hopped on the Sims and ya know

*Y/N pov*

I went out with my friends but it got boring so... I left.

I opened the door to me and wilburs house and the moment I open the door I hear a loud moan. wondering what wilbur was doing i slip off my shoes and slowly walk over to his office.

I peek inside and I see two Sims characters fucking not like how they normally do hiding under the covers not showing anything, no i see those Sims who look EXACTLY like me and Wilbur having the most intense sex like insane hentai shit. and wilbur moaning jerking off, whimpering in fact

"what the fuck?!" I state telli from what i'm seeing "OH FUCK" wilbur yells pulling up his pants and shutting off his PC

"im..im so sorry I um" wilbur studdard out looking down face bright red from embarrassment

I walk over getting on my knees in front of him " you really couldn't have just asked to fuck me like a normal person?"

he looked shocked, breathing heavily " I um" he whispered looking down at me as i take out his cock, licking my hand and start stoking it

"fuck" wilbur moans as I put his cock in his mouth "i'm not going to fuck last long with you like this" he whimpered out

I put him all in my mouth gagging on his length i feel his cock twitching in my mouth telling me he's about to cum

wilbur cums in my mouth and i swallow it whole

"fuck" he says wiping my mouth with his thumb shoving it in my mouth to get the extra cum off my mouth

I stand up sliding off my shorts and underwear getting on his lap, I line my hole up with his cock and slowly sink down "omg" i moan taking his length wilbur throws his head back and opens his mouth with a silent moan

Wilbur grabs my hips to help me bounce up and down on his cock, I rest my head on his shoulder enjoying my time on his cock.

"fucking creep, making you and your roomate in a fucking game and having them fuck" you degrade still going up and down chasing both your highs "please im so sorry please let me cum" he cried out "cum, cum with my"

you sit fully on his cock feeling his hot liquid squirt into you as you cum yourself,

"thank you" wilbur whispers in your ear giving your neck a kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UM?!?!?!?!??!?!

[osarina]

I CAME SCREAMING AND RUNNING WHEN I HEARD YANDERE DAZAI OMLL HOW DO YOU PERSONALLY SEE YAN!DAZAI??? cause theres so many ways to characterize him if he becomes Yandere especially if you compare and contrast his PM and ADA self

... here we go. yanzai my beloved - i dont think u guys understand how insane i am over him. anyway, i'm not making this one as long as i planned to because (surprise) i've planned out a two-part fic for this that i want to write when i'm done with civilian!dazai, and i dont want to spoil it. hehe.

but. in general, i think even non-yanzai would be veryyyyy possessive over his lover. yanzai is on an entirely different level though - and even WITHIN yanzai, i think pm yanzai and ada yanzai are entirely different monsters and i mean that so literally. but first, in general, possessive, very manipulative. yanzai has likely found his reason to live in his lover and he's NAWT about to let that go.

yanzai in general would tend to lead toward manipulation through guilt and isolation, i think. i don’t think any version of yanzai would ever get violent with his partner and i stay heavy on that belief. he’s got more of a tendency to treat you like you’re something fragile that could break at any given moment.

also i'm going to split pmzai into two - canon pmzai (ages 15-18) and then pmzai in an au where he never left the pm. so the order i'm gonna talk about is canon pmzai, canon adazai (as a direct follow up to canon pmzai), and then im gonna talk about pmzai au where he never left the pm.

for the purposes of this, assume that reader joined the pm when they were young

canon pmzai

so first i want to talk about how it probably starts, because i could sooooo very much see this starting while he & his lover are young. since this is canon, i imagine they meet at around 15/16 like i have dazai & pmreader meeting. dazai's clearly a lot more unstable during his early pm years and i think his obsession with his lover could start with something really minimal tbh. maybe they shoot an offhand compliment to him, or stop to pick something up that he dropped, and dazai is just so alone & isolated by mori atp that he just completely fixates on this person because they’re the first one to ever say/do something kind for him, as small as it may have been.

i think it would even start out harmless, spends a lot of time thinking about you, daydreaming. maybe he even steps in on missions for you - which he notably doesn't do for anyone because he doesn't want to do more work than he has to. but something would happen that eventually triggers the shift from harmless to a veryyyy dangerous obsession. maybe you got critically wounded on a mission, or maybe you start spending time with other people—whatever it is, it just flips a switch in him because he realizes that he is not about to loose you and he doesn't care what he has to do to make sure of it.

on this topic ^^ maybe this is a hot take, but i think canon pm yanzai would be entirely more dependent on his lover compared to adazai. adazai is still dependent, but not to the extent pmzai is. i know people hc him as hyper independent, which i also mostly hc for him, but i think if he's found someone that he's attached himself to like this, he’s young enough that he'll quickly become codependent on them, and that obviously scares him which makes him even more intense with his yan tendencies.

that being said, i still think that he would be careful to not alert you to any shift of his mentality. he'd be very hyperaware of keeping a good image in your eyes, so everything he does do is going to be behind the scenes. he'd probably work a lot with isolation and trying to make you as dependent on him as he is on you—justifies it by telling himself that it's not fair that he can't live without you but you can live without him LOL, won't be satisfied until he's inclined enough to believe that if he was gone you would be ruined without him (which comes into play when he leaves the mafia). he also makes sure that the missions you go on - if he even has you going on any - are all easy AND he makes sure he's overseeing them. probably phrases it as just a shift in command, assuming you were someone else's subordinate first, and you don't really have any reason to think anything of it.

i think he'd keep a really tight hold on his image up until the events of dark era, that whole ... week ? i assume its about a week, of everything going down with ango and oda just tosses him into a mental spiral and he'd probably let the mask slip a few times in front of you. i still don’t think it’s enough for you to really question anything—not until he leaves, that is.

now moving on to adazai - but first, the underground years:

we're gonna assume that you stay with the pm when he leaves. i think he'd spend a lot of his underground years honestly just keeping an eye on you from a distance. i think he'd be like very back and forth with how he feels, like a part of him is soooo satisfied that you're so broken about him leaving but then the other part of him has him wanting rip out his own throat for being the reason for your distress. he'd be rlly hyperaware of you "moving on" from him. his go to would be driving people away from you, like it was while he was with the pm but it's a lot harder now that he has to be a "ghost" so to speak, so i think he would target you yourself more often. and it would be little things, like whenever he sees you start talking to someone new, he'd leave little things around your apartment to remind you of him. maybe pictures you'd taken together, or small trinkets, anything to make you remember him and trigger you back into that spiral of missing him. BUT that being said, i think he would be very careful to ensure that you don't realize it's him leaving these things around, so he'd go through your apartment and look for stuff and would lay it out carefully to make you think that you just happened to leave it out.

i think over the course of his underground years, you start to realize that whatever you had with dazai was not healthy and how he acted with you was not healthy, and dazai does take note of this in his 💀 long hours observing you, which is why he’s so careful to keep up his new mask with you when he inevitably meets you again (read below).

OK now adazai

adazai is interesting. i went back and forth with this a lot, but i think adazai would really utilize his new job & demeanor as a tool to make you come back to him/fall for him again, especially if you’d started to put things together during the years he was gone. he frames his leaving it as how it was just something he had to do, look how much better he is now, he’s healed & hes good now, and he didn’t know what else to do because he knew his mental state wasn’t healthy back in the mafia. <- i think this would be important specifically because you would take note of how he acknowledges how incredibly possessive and weird he was with you, and in your mind, someone who acts like that probably wouldn’t see anything wrong with it, so the fact that he acknowledges it would be a green flag in your mind because maybe he has grown.

he also would probably hit you with a few guilt trips like he didn’t even know he meant enough to you to make you care about whether or not he was there. he’d be veryyyyyy sweet and honeyed with his apologies and pleas for forgiveness, and he’d be patient too. if you weren’t open to listening to him the first time you run into him, he’d orchestrate several other “run ins” over the next few weeks, whittle down your guard until he can finally claw his way back into your skin.

once that whole first stage of “winning you back” is over, dazai would quickly return to old habits although, however careful he was while in the pm to keep a good image in your eyes, he’s 100000x more careful now. because now it’s beyond just not letting you see the “demon prodigy”, he’s been advertising himself to you as a good, changed man and he has every intention of maintaining that image in your eyes. so yeah, he might be using access to cctv cameras to stalk your every move and yes, he’s slowly but surely driving everyone away from you, but in your eyes, he’s a detective who spends the saving people and that should never waver in anyway.

i think one notable difference is that adazai’s first big goal is going to be to drag you from the mafia, so while he is isolating you from people in the pm, i think he wouldn’t be so quick to isolate you from the members of the agency. in fact he would even encourage it to an extent - as long as they know their place 💀 - until he gets you to leave the pm, that is, then he might start to isolate you altogether again.

adazai likes to fashion himself as a bit of a savior to you i think. he saw how you spiraled without him, and came back to you, promising to never leave you again, apologizing for ever having have. gets in your head by making comments about how he didn’t even know you rlly cared about him like that.

^^ he’ll drag u from the dark shadow of the port mafia and tuck you right into his own shadow instead. and yeah, it might be just as dark, but at least he’ll be there to to make sure some light is peeking through cell bars of his “love”.

nowwww pmzai who never left the mafia.

i think i’ll keep this one short because imo i feel like this would just be canon pmzai without bothering to keep the whole front up in front of you. he doesn’t really care to hide his obsession over you - what are you going to do about it? run? he’s not going to let you do that, and he knows you don’t want to do that anyway. this pmzai is even more unstable than canon pmzai - i imagine he still lost oda, but then failed to even fulfill his last request by leaving the mafia and going to the light, so instead he focuses all of his energy onto the one person he has left: you.

forget missions. you’ll be lucky if he ever lets you leave the pm hq again. people die for looking at you the wrong way - whether it be pity, concern, or “envy” (because dazai is paranoid and thinks everyone is trying to stealing what’s his). sometimes you make comments about it to him, wanting to go on missions & talk to people again, and it triggers breakdowns in dazai that you can never tell if they’re real or fake - panic attacks over losing you like odasaku, begging you not to leave him too, etc. you don’t know if these are real, but he’s got you so tight around his finger already that the off chance that these aren’t manufactured to guilt you into dropping the subject is enough to make you give in.

[the-s1lly-corner]

If you could indulge me, can I ask for something with The Amazing Digital Circus gang, with an s/o who is seen as an anchor for the others? They are strong willed, happy go lucky, supportive, a mediator and ect. Well, could they stumble upon their s/o just having an episode, just crying in frustration and like punching a wall to calm down and go back to acting like nothing happened?

I have a thing with strong willed characters hiding their weakness for the benefit of others.

TADC cast x emotional anchor!reader !

oh ho ho you silly lil fella, you have literally just described my TADC oc down to a T, i am going to have so much fun writing this because im literally just. going to use my oc as a place holder for the reader, just without describing any lore bits unique to them and their design ngl i think i went insane with this one, tally hall music is doing something to me

CAINE:

if you thought you were good at hiding your human despair just know that caine already knows. the only reason i feel he wouldnt initially come to you in your lesser moments of weakness is that he can acknowledge that youre trying to hide this part of you. does he go comfort you, and risk making you try harder to surpress your feelings; risking you to just blow up one day and have your mental state just totally collapse in one go? would you feel put off at the knowledge that in this world you never really have full privacy? that definitely wouldnt make you feel any better. but when it gets to the point where you're screaming and crying in your room and punching the walls he would step in. drags you away from the walls, and if he has to this man will restrain you if it means making sure you stop swinging. hes seen the downfall of many people within the circus, but seeing it from someone he so deeply cares for hits a different way. he may be an AI, but he can still simulate feeling. its a harrowing sensation as he lets you cling onto him. i think he makes an effort to make in house adventures less overwhelming and intense, too scared to push you over the edge but also too scared to leave you with nothing to do to distract you. i think he would stay with you for the night, too

POMNI:

as selfish as it sounds, pomni cant help but feel.. something in her chest. seeing you, the groups beacon of light falter fills her with some kind of fear and despair that she cant put into words. it reminds her that no one is above helplessness, and that at the end of the day youre just as capable of abstracting as everyone else. i think, when she finally sees your fake demeanor finally slip when you thought you were totally alone, she feels bad. i mean shes your partner, and she didnt pick up on any hints that may have indicated your true state of health. i dont think she would try to force you to speak, as much as i want to say that she would try to push for you to talk about how you feel i think her attempts to reach out to you would fall on deaf ears. i think she would put her hand on your shoulder, making you jump back to the present moment. its an awkward gesture, with the jester herself being a little lost with these new feelings... i think you two would just sit in silence

JAX:

similar to pomni, he feels this intense and unexplainable pang at the sight of the most hopeful and brightest person in the circus crumble. ive already said it but ill say it again, its like being splashed with cold water, with how hard that sinking cold feeling hits him. makes half hearted attempts to cheer you up. its not that he doesnt care, its that hes stuck in the shock of seeing the happiest person he knows flip into... this.. for a split second he thought you were abstracting, that pit his stomach becoming colder for a second before he realizes whats going on. ive said this before as well, but jax is not the best comforter, in fact i think he might be one of the worst out of the main cast. but i think so far for the characters ive written for this post, he makes an effort to try to pull you up out of your hole. at least he lets you cry your feelings out, and he wont make you feel bad for doing so

RAGATHA:

stands there in shock like pomni, before immediately rushing to your side and tugging you away from a coat stand you were kicking and beating. hands on your shoulders she tries to snap you back to the present moment, trying to tell you that shes here. any feelings of the helplessness that she shares with the previous two characters is shoved down. this isnt about her, its about you. runs her fingers through your hair, if your digital body has any, and just. rocks you. when you finally calm down enough to be able to form clear words, she reassures you once more that shes here for you. the two of you stay in that position, holding onto one another for the entire night. i think it should be said, but for most of these theyre going to try to keep a closer eye on you and make it a point to ask you how youre feeling. ragatha especially.

KINGER:

it reminds him of queenie. the sight brings back so so so many terrible memories. for a second he doesnt even register that hes standing in the present, standing in your doorway. stuck and frozen for a solid minute before you finally notice him, and you hold each others gaze. finally, you crumble. what was the point of hiding your mounting anguish now that it was discovered by the one you care for most? at the sight of your crumpled form i think kinger would snap back, and rush to your side. he's pause, afraid that you would abstract like the queen, before forcing himself to push through that fear in the back of his mind. a moment where he is not fumbling with himself or shaking; be it because he wants to be there for you or perhaps he still holds some guilt aimed towards himself for not being able to save his old queen, he refuses to leave your side even if you tell him to leave. theres this caution in his actions, mixed with this sort of determination to make sure you're okay. like ragatha, he would make it a point to make sure you're okay long after this incident

ZOOBLE:

zooble would probably be the only one who doesnt make their presence known to you while you're in that state. not because they wont care about you, in fact they care about you a lot. but theyre so unsure of what to do, that they give to you what they would have wanted for themselves, if they were in your shoes. they want to grant you privacy, and to at least keep a shred of the now ruined façade you had been putting on for everyone. if it means keeping it will give you comfort, then they wont take that away from you. they wait outside your door, waiting for the height of your episode to pass before cracking the door open. they dont say anything about what they had just heard, but you seem to know that they know.. i mean they came in so soon after you had calmed yourself down enough.

"are you okay?" a dumb question, but what else was there for them to say? you so obviously werent okay, and you likely werent for a long time. they offer to leave, to give you some time to pick yourself back up, but they also make it clear that they wont go anywhere if you dont want to be alone. the night is tense and awkward, filled with conversation before they eventually broach the topic... i think you guys would develop some sort of secret code. i mean youve been hiding your true feelings for so long, and outwardly saying you need help would compromise that mask you put up for yourself. be it a certain sentence or arrangement of objects, you two come up with a indirect way of asking for security

GANGLE:

she feels so helpless, the most out of everyone. she tries to get your attention, but her words fall on deaf ears, if they even manage to pry themselves out of her mouth. far too weak to pull you away and keep you from hurting yourself, but too soft spoken to bark out a word to draw your attention to her. truly, she feels useless. she isnt able to capture your attention until you finally notice her. similar to kingers part, you fall. she takes an unsure step towards you, hands half raised in front of her as she debates if you want to be touched or not. she settles to sitting in front of you, just barely holding eye contact... she looks down when you tear your eyes away from her. finally finding her voice, i think she would ask if you want her to stay, or if you need anything. she tries to word it the best she can, but she lets you know that she doesnt think any less of you for your outburst. it happens to the best of us, really it does. if you want her too, she wraps herself around you and tries to soothe your shaking form

[padscomm]

safe place

tara carpenter x f!reader

warnings: grammatical errors, mention of suicides, abusive household and also scream 5+6 au bc why not?!

a/n; IM ALIVE !! I'm so busy, school is shit broo

it was sunday, it meant it was cleaning time. but, you were to focused on studying that you forgot to clean the house.

you checked the time, and you realized, that your father was coming home soon. you panicked, and quickly started cleaning your room.

your father was an abusive alcoholic, it was a suprise. an loving caring man turning into an abusive alcoholic, when your mother died.

he didn't bother going to therapy, instead he started drinking and started doing drugs. when he's tired, he takes his anger out on you, when he's in a bad mood he takes it out on you.

he poured out his anger always at you, you didn't know why. you would always be hiding in the closet, filled with bruises from him. trying to hold your tear's, it was always hard. you've never told anyone about the abusive and toxic household you were in.

you were a joyful person, filled with sunshine but personally, no one ever knew you that well. except for your girlfriend; Tara Carpenter.

you heard the door creaking, you weren't even halfway done cleaning with your room and you still had a few rooms to clean. you were scared, you didn't have a way out.

you decided to hide in the closet, where you always do. you were scared for dear god, you were scared what he will do to you. your tear's streaming down on your face.

you heard a scream, “Y/N!! How come you still didn't clean the house?!” it was filled with anger, your heart is beating fast, you are scared. sweating intensely.

hearing footsteps from the stairs, and through the hallway’s of your bedroom. you prayed to dear god, to not hurt you. “y/n, i know you’re in there.” he say's, opening the door of your bedroom.

you had no way out. you heard him investigating every area.

he opened the closet door, “there you are.” he says, grabbing you from your wrist, tightly. “dad stop please! I'm sorry, I was so carried away—” you didn't have time to speak, he punched you so hard on the face.

that your nose started bleeding, “you really think I'm gonna believe you? you lying son of a fuckin bitch.” you were down on your knees, crying.

The next day

it was a good Monday morning for tara. she was awoken by her sister, sam. she got up from her bed and started making it, then after that she check's her phone if she received a message from you, but sadly she didn't.

it was something off, she chat's you again, asking if you were okay.

· my baby ; hey, are you okay y/n? im worried sick, text me back as soon as you can. hope you're okay mylove! I love you

timeskip at school

“hey guys, have you seen y/n? she hasn't texted me back.” tara said, worried about you. “look's like an overprotective girlfriend is worried about her troublemaker girlfriend.” mindy jokes, tara didn't find her funny, and just glared at her.

“oh there’s y/n!" anika pointed, she ran after her. “she seem's off today, its just not me who thinks she's off today? right?” mindy stated, the others agreed with her. usually, you would hangout with the friend group but this day, you didn't.

you went straight to class, it was unusual for them. you saw anika running towards you, but you decided to walk more faster so she wouldn't catch you.

once you entered inner part of the school, you saw anika not chasing you anymore. you were glad. you had a long oversized hoodie, covering your body and bruises. you went straight to class with the oversized hoodie on you, even tho it was hot as fuck.

after first period, you went to second period. not even bothering to check up on your girlfriend. you were just not in the mood to talk to anyone today. you just wanted peace, and alone time with yourself.

not until second period started, you realized that you and anika were seatmates. you and anika are bestfriends, she worries about you alot.

you sat down to anika, avoiding eye contact with her. “hey y/n, why are you avoiding us?” anika asked, but you didn't answer. anika wasn't really comfortable with your silence, since you were always loud and energetic.

she kept asking you questions but you didn't answer once. second period ended and it was third, you continued to third period with talking to any of your friends or even anyone.

after third, it was lunch break. you didn't have the appetite to eat. so you skipped it, and hid at the rooftop, listening to music peacefully and doing your work.

“y/n didn't talk to me in 2nd period, I don't know why tho, I think something's off about her.” tara looked at anika, “you should go check up on your girlfriend, tar.” liv suggested, but even tara didn't know where you were.

“ill go check up on her at the end of classes.” mindy really thinks tara is a bad girlfriend.

more timeskip

it was time to go home. you didn't go home yet, you were at the rooftop, smoking. it was peaceful, and calming for you. no disturbance.

not until you heard the door open, you put out your cigarette as fast as you can. you saw tara, looking worried sick at you. “y/n, are you okay? you didn't talk to us for the whole day, tell me everything, I'm willing to listen y/n.”

she says, pulling the sleeves of yours “and why are you wearing a jacket it's so—" you quickly took your arm away from her. she saw what she saw, bruises, blood streaming down your arms.

she was in disbelief, “im so sorry tara, i didn't mean to freak you out. I know I'm a bad girlfriend, you can leave me because of my weirdness and my bruises and scars—" she hugged you tightly, “im not gonna leave you y/n. I love you, and that's what matters. can you tell me what happened? it's okay if you're not comfortable.”

you sighed. you needed to tell her the truth, to gain trust. and you did, she was in pure disbelief and shock. she comforted you, and made you more safer.

“i think i should go home, my dad will be mad at me.” you said, but tara didn't let you go. “stay with me for a few days, ill get you help.” those words from tara, was enough to make you tear up.

“dont cry now, baby. stay with me, you'll be more safer.” you didn't care anymore, you wanted to be free with tara.

once tara and you arrived at her house, you were greeted by sam. death staring you, “hey tara, who've you got there?” sam asked, “this is my girlfriend ive been telling you about.” you blushed at her words, she's been talking about you?

“by the way y/n, can you go upstairs. you know my room already.” tara said, she didn't tell sam that you've been sneaking inside their household. “why is there red stuff on her sleeves?” sam was curious. tara explained the whole situation to her.

sam felt bad for you, the two carpenter's will be doing their best getting you help.

after a conversation with sam, tara went up to her room. she saw you, laying down peacefully. “hey let's get you cleaned up, okay?” you nodded, and got up from the bed.

she guides you to her bathroom and sat you down on the sink, she took your hoodie off, and saw all the bruises you had. bruises everywhere, “more bruises down on your legs?” you nodded.

“can i take them off?” she asks for your permission, “go ahead.” she takes of your pants, slowly and lightly. she was shocked with all the bruises that you dad gaved.

“thats alot. let's start with your wrists.” she wiped off all the blood, until there was no more flowing. and rolls the comforting bandage around your arms.

working one by one on the bruises, she stayed up just to get you cleaned.

at the end of the day, it was the two of you lying in bed. “i love you so much, tara.” you said, burying your face onto her neck.

“i always love you more, my love. soon your dad will be in prison.” she reassure's you, and before going to sleep, she kissed you forehead lightly, and kissed you lips passionately.

“tara, what if attempted suicide one day?” you said, out of the blue. it was a suprise, “of course my life will be empty. i cannot live without you. i love you more than everything, if you have a problem, come talk to me okay?” you smiled at her.

she was tired already, “im going to sleep na. im so tired, mahal.”

“goodnight my beautiful, beautiful girlfriend! i love you.”

“goodnight tara, i love you too. sweet dreams.”

“thank you for taking care of me.” you mumbled, “your welcome.

a/n; this is shit