#im jusg going through it

[birbwell]

what's the favourite part of the last song you listened to

the last song i listened to was dwta's Padaba Taka

Cheesy Fili Love Song as one does. it's mostly in Bikolano, the dialect in the region where im from. in the last part she switches to a Tagalog version of the chorus and like. it caught me so off-guard that i started crying a little. i never knew that this was how you say "i love you" in my dialect

[fagm77]

everybody asks how I am all the time and I can't say that everything is so overwhelming and im lonely all the time and im working through a lot of trauma and my parents are disappointed in me and I barely have friends. and im taking too many classes and I feel like a failure. I can't say that. so I have to say that im fine but I'm not im so fucking tired and sad.

[deliciousmicroplastics]

Ohhhhhjj i am going to design some Fucking Lesbians in that game

[mountalodiel]

consequences of my own actions. So on and so forth

[ace-with--a-mace]

i think ive been in a constant state of melancholy

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

hartley wohld never date a cop..... never i say.... idc how hot he isz he WOULDNT HE WOULDNTN

[prettyboypistol]

Hey, love your work anyway so you know how Hobbits, Dwarves and Elves age much slower? How'd they react to reader going like "dude I'm like twenty"?

How the Fellowship React to a Younger Company Member! || LOTR x M!Reader

context for hcs: You are surrounded by your companions around a nice fire for the night, only for you to mention that today is your birthday! The fellowship ask how old you turn and you proudly say 22.

Frodo

"Oh goodness I've dragged a child into this."

genuinely starts apologizing to you near manically, then shuts himself off.

You go to him and explain that no, you're far from a child in human standards, and that even 16 yo's can be drafted into wars. Frodo is shocked.

It makes him feel a little better, but he starts to try and teach you things subconsciously about herbalism and mushroom picking.

Samwise

"GOOD GODS TWENTY-WHAT?"

has a good nervous laugh about it, mentioning that now Pippin isn't the baby of the fellowship anymore (ref- Pippin is late-20s)

After you explain that humans mature faster, he seemingly calms down, but still jokingly fusses at you

mothers you "jokingly" after that, but seems to be more attached to you in case you get hurt.

Merry

"Ay- ay! Pippin! You're not the youngest anymore!"

Honestly doesn't see it as a big deal, hell, feels more at ease that theres yet another youngin in the fray of adventure that he can mess around with!

Will try to include you in on his and Pippin's shenanigans, and excitedly dragging you along when you agree to some of his insane ideas.

Pippin

"IM NOT THE BABY ANYMORE!!!"

Calls you "youngling" and "little brother" as a joke, takes a liiiiittle too much fun from that for your liking.

Feels a little weird about sharing his pipeweed with you at first, but as soon as you hit that blunt with g r a c e he's laughing along and giving you as much as you want

Likes to hold your hand "as a joke" to guide you through places, he includes you in places that he and Pippin hide in when in danger.

Gimli

Jesus christ this man nearly had a heart attack, not only that, but when the hobbits mentioned how old they were!? He's travelling with CHILDREN. BARELY OLD ENOUGH TO BE IN THE FORGE!

Becomes oddly silent as he mulls over these facts- that he's seen everyone drink before, do drugs, and even make sexual innuendos that he laughed at... eugh. icky feelings. icky all over.

Aragorn pulls him aside and explains that humans and hobbits age uch faster than dwarves, and that he himself in only in his 80's. Gimli feels only slightly better but it takes him a few days to recover from the shock.

Legolas

haha yall are all BABIES

Legolas is aware of humans' quick deterioration, so it doesn't come as a surprise to him. With your smooth skin though, he assumed you were younger? Perhaps about 17-19?

Then again, he is shit at jusging ages, since elves are forever young and pretty.

makes fun of gimli for being to torn up about you being "only 22"

[lizsos]

Chapter 6

Bad Girl

TW!: chapter contains extreme violence, disturbing, blood , gore , death , not real . (MDNI) .

(Enemies to lovers)

(Yandere bada)

You've been warned....

"Of course! What do you want?" Nana questions , fear laced in her voice . Bada chuckles. "Isn't it obvious? I want Y/n to work for me from now on "

"What?!" She stands and slams her hands on her desk "she works for me! There's no way in hell I'll hand her over to you just like that!" She yells. Fear no longer in her voice .

"There's no need to yell . Now sit back down " Badas voice deepens . She sits back down in fear knowing she'll be next to have a bullet go through her head if she didn't control herself.

"Listen you old hag...." Nana glares at Bada . "This bitch!" She angrily through. "I'll make this short and simple . Y/n works for me , I'll give you anything you wish for. Money....drugs..... power......Anything." Bada's smirk widens .

Nana hesitates , remaining silent . She sighs . "Im sorry but I am not going to do that " Bada frowns but her frown sonn turns into a smirk. "Afraid?" Nana look at Bada with a confused look . "Afriad of what ?" She answers confused .

"That you'll lose your most prized possession?"

Her eyes widen. " I...I don't know what you're talking about" she stutters . "Without y/n your clan would be nothing. You'd be nothing...you're weak and we both know that ? You'd lose all your business and money.

Nana begins to violently shale . "You see, y/n , in your terms is ' a thing' for you to use ofr your own selfish needs ." Bada glares at Nana . She continues to tremble in fear .

"I don't see her in that way though....so what do you say?" Bada asks "what if I refuse?" She crosses her arms . "Then that's your call. I'm just warning you if you refuse , ill ruin your status, your business and dealing. " Bada chuckles. "You.... you wouldn't!" " ill maybe consider y/n continuing to come here and seeing you or the others."

Bada was right about everything . Your boss never cared once for you . She only wanted money , power and fame so she used you in order to get what she wanted .

"So what do you say?" She smirks . 'If I give y/n to her I won't have any business ruined . If this bitch considers it , she'll still come here but so often anymore...' Nana think . She looks down to her feet and nods .

"Deal..."

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Y/n let's go..." Kristen places her hand on your shoulder but you only shake your head . You refused to let go of Finn . "We need to go" Kristen says .

"You can go! Just leave me alone with him.." you cried . "I'll be waiting i-" Kristen stops talking as you both heard footsteps coming your way .

Kristen stand in front of you , hands in her pocket. Ready to pull her gun out and shoot the ones coming toward you.

Bada appears in of of Kristen with Nana behind her . You didn't bother looking up , you could care less about them . " I though I told you to le-" Nana stops talking as she sees you clutching on a dead body.....

Finn's lifeless body....

Bada starters at your broken state . She tries to approach you but Kristen didn't allow it . "Step aside." "Make me" Kristen snaps back . Bada glares. "Don't worry were about to leave." She responds to Nana .

"Jusg leave him y/n . Ill take care of Finn's-" you cut her off. " as if I'd leave him with you.....all you're gonna do is ditch his body somewhere and let it rot. I don't think so . I won't allow it !" You yell . Glaring at the boss with tears in your eyes . Taken by your words , she glares back .

She pulls her gun right at you . Both Kristen and Bada's eye's widen . Bada's blood boils with anger . She pulls out her own weapon , pointing it directly at Nana ? Her eyes widen in shock .

"Put the gun down"

Nana doesn't hesitate. She drops the gun and kicks it away . " you two leave , I want to have a private conversation with y/n" Bada ordered .

"No way i wo-" you interrupt Kristen . " I'll be fine Kristen , just go" you sigh quietly. She sighs back in defeat and nods . Both of them wait outside .

"Sorry for your loss" "cut the crap , what do you want ?! "She sighs and kneels down to your level , her hand reaching towards you . You glare and hold Finn's body closer to you .

"Im not going to do anything plea-" " you order your men to kill them!" Yu look down at Finn . Your tears landing on his face ."your order caused his death....." .

Memories begin to flood your mind . The first time you've met , the time he saved u his money to buy you a rose necklace for your birthday. You hah to admit , that was the nicest things someone has ever given to you. You promised him that you'll take good care of the necklace . You ever once took it off.

You've always enjoyed his energy, his courge , his kindness , his warm hugs....his smile...

His wamth was no longer there . His body was now cold and limp . No life left in him....

The image of him smiling brightly...

The time he'd run up to you and give you the biggest , warmest hugs right after you came from your job matter what time of the day was it .

You've always enjoyed it .

The image in your head of him smiling fading away . More tears start to steam down your eyes . Landing on Finn

You snap out of your thought as you feel a warm hand on your cheek . Bada's hand . She wipes away your tears .

"So warm , so soft "she says to herself . "Enough with the tears doll .I'm truly sorry for hurting you . I apologise for what I've done . Let me make it up to you " .

"There's nothing you can do to make it up... its already too late to him him...he's gone" you whisper " you didn't let me finish"

"I'll give him a proper burial . I won't allow that old women to ditch a child out of nowhere. I won't let her do such a thing . I can tell you two were close " you only nod

"A proper burial?" You quietly ask . She nods . "Yeah that would be nice.." you look down at Finn. You lace your hand on his eyes , closing them "I'll give you money if you wan-" .

"I don't want your money d rather you give it to his family . They need it the most... she once again nods and smiles this time.

"As you wish my doll " .

[thrashkink-coven]

okay I don’t love ranting about Christians on this page because I try to keep this space free of religious shenanigans but I need to rant about this because it’s actually SO irritating. This is coming steaming hot right off the top of the dome so excuse my grammar and all caps.

Lately my instagram page (thrashkink_art check me out I’m awesome) has been getting a lot of attention from Christians for some reason, and I’ve been getting dmd by people wanting desperately to debate and/ or convert me. They all come at me with the assumption that I’m either an extreme atheist that’s just super mad at God or a complete dumbass that’s simply never read the first few pages of Genesis. I must either be angry or stupid. There’s no way I could have read the Bible and known the story of Jesus without subscribing to it. Anyone who isn’t Christian must not know the story! “Have you heard about JESUS? DID YOU 🫵 KNOW He died for your sins? 😃” Whatever

The thing that is so frustrating is that, EVERY SINGLE TIME I share some information with them about the Bible or religion that they didn’t know, they immediately BLOCK ME. EVERY TIME. And it’s like??? If you want to have a debate and go bar for bar then I’ll humor you. Hey, who knows! Maybe I’ll even learn something new and convert! I’m always open to new information! I love learning about religion! But apparently it doesn’t go both ways because the second I present information they can’t grapple with, they IMMEDIATELY BLOCK ME. AAAAAA

Some Christian dude: If you read the Bible you’d know that doing witchcraft will land you in Hell!

Me: well if we’re really going based off of the Bible, the entire concept of Hell doesn’t originate in the Isrealite religion. Actually, there’s no mention of a Hell in the OT at all, Hell is a Greek concept and so is Lucifer.

Christian: What? No?? That can’t be true it completely distorts my worldview

Me: You… don’t have to believe me just look into it yourself

*You can no longer message this person*

LIKE WTF.

Some Christian dude: Women are just naturally subordinate to men, if they weren’t then we would have worshipped a female Goddess alongside YHWH.

Me: Well… They did. The Israelites worshiped Asherah alongside YHWH before her worship was abolished

Christian: This is blasphemy *you can no longer message this person*

RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAA. I have countless examples like this! A dude called me evil because I told him Jesus was Jewish. I’ve been called a degenerate for explaining how YHWH originated in Canaan. Im so tired of ignorant Christians shitting my pants because they’re too lazy to do any research on tHEIR OWN RELIGION!! IF YOU NEED TO HAVE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS BECAUSE YOU JUSG LEARNED ABOUT THE HISTOY OF YOUR RELIGION THEN THATS ON YOU BITCH! DONT GET MAD AT ME BC YOUVE BEEN FED A LIE !!!!!! THATS NOT MY PROBLEM !!!!!!!!!!

There have been so many times when I’ve taken the time to go through all this bullshit with people because I really don’t want to be close minded. But holy shit it’s like they’re allergic to conflicting information. They immediately accuse me of trying to push blasphemy onto them. and when i’m like hey dude don’t take my word for it, please I encourage you to do your own research, they’re immediately so offended and appalled. How dare I tell them something about the Bible that they didn’t know.

Listen bro, I’m fully supportive of your Christianity, live your life, worship your God, I honestly do not care. But if you’re going to try to convert me at least be somewhat prepared for an actual discussion. Don’t block me because you can’t handle the reality of the situation mother fucker.

LIKE LISTEN IM USUALLY NOT SO PRESSED AB SHIT LIKE THIS BUT THE THING THAT DRIVES ME UP THE WALL IS THAT I USUALLY TRY TO IGNORE THESE PEOPLE BUT THEN THEYRE ALL LIKE “Aha! 😌 You don’t want to hear me out because you know I’m right! You’re afraid of the truth!” SO THEN IM LIKE

*SIGGGGGHHHHHHH*

OKAY! Let’s go! Let’s hear it! We can debate because you’re so desperate to change my mind! ILL WASTE THREE HOURS OF MY LIFE GOING THROGH THIS SHIT WITH YOU SO YOU CAN JUST CALL ME A BLASPHEMOUS WHORE AND BLOCK ME. I LOVE WASTING MY TIME I LOVE GOING IN CIRCLES I LOVE POINTLESS DISCUSSIONS I LIVE FOR THEM

DO NOT!!! DM ME IF YOURE A CHRISTIAN !!!!YOU WILL NOT COME OUT THE SAME AFTER HEARING THE THOUGHTS FROM MY EXPANSIVE SEXY SLUTTY BRAIN YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!!!!

RRRRRAAAAAAAAA

ok. I’m better now. Merry Venus Day! Ave Lucifer! 🔱 💀

[in-my-feels-probably]

MY HUSBAND CARMEN OMFG PLEAZE CARMEN X READER ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP AND IM JUST IMAGINING READER HAVING LIKE TJE WORST DAY POSSIBLE AND LIKE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP AT THE RESTAURANT AND JUSG LIKE PRACTICALLY IN TEARS BY THE END OF THEIR DAY AND CARMEN LIKE GIVES HER A MASSAGE AND TAKES CARE OF HER AND MAYBE LIKE SOME SWEET INTERACTIONS WITH THE OTHERS AT THE RESTAURANT IF IGS OKAY

Mishaps and Bear Hugs

Request: MY HUSBAND CARMEN OMFG PLEAZE CARMEN X READER ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP AND IM JUST IMAGINING READER HAVING LIKE TJE WORST DAY POSSIBLE AND LIKE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP AT THE RESTAURANT AND JUSG LIKE PRACTICALLY IN TEARS BY THE END OF THEIR DAY AND CARMEN LIKE GIVES HER A MASSAGE AND TAKES CARE OF HER AND MAYBE LIKE SOME SWEET INTERACTIONS WITH THE OTHERS AT THE RESTAURANT IF IGS OKAY

Hi! Sorry for the wait. I’m still getting used to writing Carmy’s character, so bear with me while I get the hang of it. Thank you for the request, this is a cute idea. I hope you enjoy it!

(Warnings: a shitty pun in the title, swearing, slight injury, a bad day, let me know if i missed anything)

—

“I’m gonna fucking kill Richie,” you said as you walked back into the kitchen, taking a deep breathe.

“You can’t kill him if he isn’t here,” Marcus called over as he loaded his trays of bread onto the racks.

“I’ll kill him tomorrow, then,” you said, walking over to Tina’s station. “Tina, I am begging you to work the register for a little bit. Richie called out, and I’m going to lose my mind if one more asshole walks in here and tries some shit. I’ll do your work for you, please—”

Tina laughed, putting her knife down. “Alright, alright, we can switch. You’re taking the heat if I slap someone, though.”

“Thank you, thank you,” you sighed in relief, pulling an apron over your head.

Tina nodded, walking through the kitchen doors and into the front of house.

You went back to Tina’s duties, chopping up the vegetables she hadn’t finished. You put a pot on the stove, turning on the burner. You added all the vegetables to the pot, looking around for any stock to boil them down in.

“Sydney, do you know where the stock is? I thought I brought it out this morning.”

“Walk-in, top shelf,” Marcus said, pointing. “Sorry, I thought you were done with it and I put it up.”

“That’s fine, thanks,” you sighed, going to the walk-in.

Of course it had to be on the top shelf. The one thing you needed, just out of reach. You stood on your toes, pulling it down. You managed to get it down off the shelf, but as you adjusted your grip on it when you turned to leave, the lid slipped and the container fell to the floor.

Luckily, the container didn’t turn over and spill. But it did send the stock spurting up at the impact, splashing you. Your apron took the brunt of the impact, but it still splashed up into your hair, coating your shoes.

You groaned, opened the door with your back and pushed through, the container now in your hands. “Marcus! When you put shit back, could you at least make sure the lid is on tight?”

Marcus took one look at you and stifled a laugh, biting his tongue. “Shit, I'm sorry. Need me to grab a towel?”

“Yes,” you muttered, returning to your vegetables.

As you looked in the bottom of the pan, you realized they had begun to blacken on the bottom from not having any liquid in the pot with them. You had taken too long with the stock, and now the vegetables were likely ruined and would need to be re-chopped and boiled.

You groaned, reaching for the handles of the pot to take it off the stove. When your hand touched the pot, it immediately singed your fingers, making you quickly retract them.

“Fuck!” You said, blowing on them to try and stop the heat of the burn. “God, that hurts.”

At all the commotion and the sound of your distressed voice, the door to Carmy’s office opened. He peeked his head out, only to see you standing by the stove, clutching your hand to your chest, fresh tears brewing in your eyes and threatening to fall.

“Hey,” he said softly, coming up to you and holding you by your shoulders. “What happened?”

You scoffed, nearly laughing with anger. What hadn’t happened? What hadn’t gone wrong?

“What happened? What happened is Richie didn’t show up to work, so I had to take his shift on the register. And then a man and his buddies came in and told me I was shit at my job because I couldn’t ring up their five hundred fucking sandwiches they ordered fast enough. So, Tina switched with me and I chopped up her vegetables she had left and put them in a pot. I was gonna boil them down in a stock, but the stock was on the top shelf in the walk-in. I got it down, but the lid wasn’t on tight enough, so it slipped when I got it down and splashed all over me and my hair and my shoes. I went to check the vegetables, and they had already burned to the bottom of the pot because I didn’t get the stock quick enough, so I went to pull the pot off the stove and burned the fuck out of my hand. I’m just having such a shit day, I can’t do anything right, I’m fucking it up for all of you—”

Carmy gently shushed you, taking the towel Marcus had brought over and wiping any stock he could see off of you.

“It’s fine, Y/N, it’s alright. It’s nothing we can’t fix. I don’t care about the stock, I care about that burn. Come with me, alright?”

You shook your head, groaning. “No, I made a mess and I need to clean it—“

Sydney interrupted you, already moving to fix the stock. “Go get your hand checked out, we’ve got this. It’s alright, really.”

“Sorry about the lid,” Marcus said, clapping you on the shoulder.

You shook your head, letting out a breath. “It’s fine. Thanks, guys.”

You let Carmy lead you into his office, staying quiet as he pulled out a first aid kit. He held your hand in his, turning it over to get a good look at the burn.

“It’s not bad. I’m gonna wrap it, though. Does it hurt?”

You shook your head. “It’s not that bad. It hurts less than my pride, that’s for sure.”

Carmy let out a chuckle as he wrapped your hand, finishing and moving his hand up to smooth over your hair. “You’ve got stock in your hair.”

You knew he was just teasing, and that he didn’t mean anything bad by it, but you could still feel tears well up again. Carmy sighed, pulling you into a hug. He let a hand rest on the back of your head, the other running up and down your back.

“Today fucking sucks,” you muttered into his shoulder. “I’m gonna kill Richie tomorrow.”

“Then who would work the register?” He joked, making you huff.

You pulled back, and Carmy brought a hand up to cup your cheek, wiping away some dried stock. He left his palm there, and you leaned into it, taking a deep breath.

“You’re alright, baby. Shitty day, I know. Tomorrow will be better.”

“That’s eerily optimistic coming from you,” you grinned, making Carmy smile.

“I didn’t say it would be better for me,” he said, bending down to put away the first aid kit. “But it’ll be better for you. Richie will be back, and you can yell at him tomorrow. I’ll put you with Marcus, he’s doing cakes tomorrow. You can help him, alright?”

You nodded, moving to wrap your arms around his waist. Your voice was quiet, defeated. “Thank you.”

Carmy pressed a kiss to the top of your head, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. He gently rocked you back and forth, and you could instantly feel yourself ease in his hold.

“You’re welcome, baby.”

—

A/N - Hi! Sorry this is a little short, I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for the request!

[minkkumaz]

omi omg i havw sm to tell you

okay so yesterday i found out i had an ap psych exam AND my ap chem exam on the same day. LIKE WTF! 😞💔💔 BUT BESIDES RHAT, ive never procrastinated so hard,, like the exam is on wednesday and on monday night-early tues morning i just stayed up playing games and i did ATTEMPT to study but it didnt go well!!

I went to bed around 2? and i woke up at 4am to vote for bonedo on THE SHOW,, AND THEY WON! I GOT SO EMOTIONAL IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM KXNDJDJ

but i had like the most insane dreams of my life. first it was like being in a car ride w bonedo, and i was sitting by the window, and like i was crammed with taesan,leehan and woonhak in the back. and riwoo and jaehyun were around the front of the car. and we ended up swerving really hard on a curve, so naturally we all got pressed together.

AND THEN LIKE WOONHAK LIKE HE LTIKE- INSTEAD OF LIKE ACCIDENTALLY HITTING ME, HE MADE SURE TO LIKE PRESS HIS PALMS AGAINST THE DOOR SO I WOULDNT GET HURT (💔💔💔💔💔) and he gave me a lil cheek kiss cause he was super close to my face.

I WENT ISNANE BRO I WOKE UP HALFWAY AND I WAS LITERALLY ABT TO MESSAGE U ASAP ABT IT JUSG INCASE I FORGOT BUT I FELT TOO SLEEPY.

AND THE. AND THEN my second dream was like,, it was just so sweet i sobbed. i was with taesan and we were just lounging around in bed,, and he was just so sweet the entire time, he was holding my hand and everythigne ☹️💔

taesan was just peppering kisses everywhere, like on the hand trailing up to the lips it was so sweet i sobbed

CANON TAESAN BF

-🍉

attempting to study but it failing is like the worst ever ugghh IM SORRY U HAVE SO MANY TESTS 💔 best friends to lovers woonhak is there to comfort you through your struggles

I'M SO HAPPY THEY WON TOO THEY DEFINITELY DESERVE IT AGHH the dedication of waking up LOL

and your dreams omg they sound heavenly, i haven't had a kpop dream in awhile. last time it was yungyu related but its really confusing to explain ><

CAR RIDES WITH BONEDO ARE PROBABLY SO MUCH FUN HH and woonhak kissing your cheek actually sounds heavenly?!? like thats so sweet wtf. i can imagine taesan on aux, maybe jae fighting him to have a turn?

soft moments with taesan :(( you're so lucky i wouldve never wanted to wake up LOLL i just imagine him caressing your face with sm love and calling you the prettiest girl to ever exist.

GIMME YOUR DREAMS!

[unchosen-sorrow]

im gonna type my thoughts out in the hopes that you read them one day and clear up confusion. also writing helps me get stuff outta my head.

so your problem was that i hung out with girls in a car talking about sex. im sorry i did that i thought going out with them would be okay since you had met them. about the sex part they were asking about US together, since our dynamic is not common (big guy small girl) they were asking about YOU and I. i also did get carried away because talking about sex is not common amongst guys so it was a different experience for me. As far as the permission thing goes, if it is all girls as far as i remember i’ve always asked your permission to go out, if there is a guy present tho then i didn’t feel the need to ask your permission. i’m sorry i should’ve asked first if that was the case.

about the taylor following me around, we had a conversation about navy making you uncomfortable and i agreed that her behaviour was weird and blocked her. you didn’t tell me to block her, but i still did it yk why because i love you and respect your boundaries, if you had told me that taylor was making you uncomfortable just like you did about navy i would’ve taken actions against her. in my eyes you were just trying to be social with the white dude so i thought nothing of it.

about, apparently, me making you the black ship. this is a confusing one because in my eyes i didn’t blame you for EVERYTHING that’s happening with me. i’ve told you time and time again how much i appreciate your efforts and thank you for everything. when you helped me with accidents, when you took care of me when i was sick, when you were there through my stupid fines! but i think i deserve a little appreciation too, if i think that i need more reassurance and a just a little more kind words or appreciation am i wrong to ask for that? if i don’t ask that from you who else am i gonna ask it from? if my home doesn’t welcome me, it starts feeling less like a home :( i just meant that people can change through the years, and i changed, i didn’t blame it on you tho.

i also felt like there were problems that were recurring, like i asked you time and time again to please make plans because that makes me feel appreciated. or i asked you to not leave me on seen because that makes me feel ignored. i’m not the one to play games that like “oh you leave me on read so i’m gonna leave you on delivered”. i see your text, i reply. i just wish that you did something about those problems since i’ve brought them up time and time again and because of that it makes me feel like you don’t care or respect this relationship. we’re all humans and i don’t expect you to be perfect, because i’m nowhere close myself but atleast taking time to talk it out and fix the relationship should be the bare minimum.

i also think i could’ve handled the carter situation better, but in my eyes when you fix someone else’s collar and look at them like that it hurts me, because i want you all to myself. when you take care or someone or do something for them like that when you could’ve just told him to fix his collar it makes me sad because you’re also like a motherly figure to me who takes care of me, so when i see you do it for others i get jealous.

i feel like you barely ever said ily first as well. i wrote you such cute little notes but i didn’t even get an ily back every night when you went to sleep. it hurt me everyday that i was doing that and i couldn’t get a simple text back.

but it’s okay. look hey it happened what has happened has happened. i just hope you see my perspective and how bad i was hurting too. as time goes by i’m gonna think about your perspective too and why you had to take such an extensive measure as suppressing yourself jusg to be with me, i’m gonna be a better person! and if we are meant to be, we’ll cross paths again :)

in the meantime please eat and drink water, take care of yourself and don’t do anything stupid! your next partner will appreciate it and i will too once i come back to you, once i come back home! until then we should both be better people - and if we never see each other again just know you were my first love <3

[newvegascowboy]

A few sessions ago we discovered and entered an ancient liminal space between the planes with gates leading to different parts of the world. We were there to find someone eho asked us to retrieve him from his old laboratory, since the security measures had gotten tripped and gone haywire, and he was unable to escape on his own.

Most of the gates were shut off, either blocked from one side or the other or had fallen into disrepair, but multiple ancient constructs were left to populate the space by the civilization that built the gates. One of these included a basilisk, which we killed (and one of the pcs didn't believe Red when they said there was some weird petrification factor when the basilisk looked at them, looked at the head, and got herself turned to stone). Anyway ive been playing Red as a bit of a packrat since we keep coming upon really cool magical components and I'm allowing myself a smidgen of metagame to pick them up, so Red dismembered the basilisk and gave the head to our Artificer.

Anyway over the week we were discussing how to get Riven out of jis laboratory since he believed we were there to rescue him, but were actually there to kidnap him and take him to the Spore Queen so SHE could kill him. Our plan had mostly jusg been "idk maybe Red can lasso and hogtie him?"

UNTIL. I was like "Hey, Gowin (artificer) should petrify him with the basilisk head, then we grab the statue and gtfo?" This was agreed upon.

We get to the laboratory, after almost being cooked by the security measures. Riven is like "I only want to speak with Gowin, the other two are inferior races and not useful to me."

I give Gowin a little wink and a thumbs up. He enters the laboratory. The door closes behind him and locks, and Red and Marigold are left to wait outside. Gowin chats with Riven. Riven reveals he wants Gowin's help to conquer the surface races, since they are inferior and in dire need of leadership. Gowin is like "Ok but do me one favor, will you help me decipher this rune?"

Pulls out the basilisk head. Holds it out to Riven.

It.

Fucking.

Works.

Riven is petrified, but not before he manages to animate a giant construct as part of his own security measures. Gowin manages to temporarily disable it by throwing an anti-magic bomb, but the doors are locked and he has to spend 3 turns unlocking the doors.

On the other side of the doors, 6 animated corpses juiced up with weird green goop pop out of their tombs and rush us up against the doors. I immediately take like 37 points of damage. Im like "Hey dm this green goop is flammable, right?"

"Flammable and explosive"

"Im going to shoot that tank of goop."

A get A Look. There is some debate. The juiced up corpses have tanks of the green goo on their backs, and my rifle is loaded with explosive rounds, so my options are limited. I shoot the big tank. It explodes, doing a level 3 fireball of damage to the room. Down another 17 hit points. The explosion sets off the OTHER tank. Another fireball. Another 30 points of damage. Im lookin pretty rough at this point. In the other side of the door, Gowin is fiddling with the lock, trying to work on the last one while the construct starts coming back online. Crit fails his last check to open the door.

Red grabs Marigold, attempts to run away from the bodies with the tanks of explosive green goo, but doesn't get very far and is caught between the wall and the edge of 3 explosions. Another 30 points of damage and at this point, Red and Marigold are roasted, knocked the fuck out. Gowin survives only because that crit fail prevented him from opening the door directly into an explosion.

Anyway he gets the door open, revices Red, points and is like "Riven is a statue, there's a huge construct in that room."

Red is like "Roger." And bayonet charges into the laboratory intending on grabbing the statue and hauling ass back through the compound towards the gate out.

But there's no construct. No statue either. Goddamn thing took the statue and disappeared deeper into the laboratory.

Achieved an absolute clutch play in dnd and then almost immediately blew everything up and knocked myself and another pc unconscious

[iwrestledayaoguaionce]

Here's my book report of A Little Life (or what I've read of it so far):

I am broken and if anyone needs me, I'm going to go watch Requiem for a Dream to cheer myself up

[e-mell-y]

I scream

[redheadbigshoes]

(Jusg discovered your account and I'm in love) YOURE TELLIKG ME. THAT. DREAMING FROM A GUYS POV. IS- AND I STILL THOUGHT I WAS STRAIGHT????? exchse me I should have realised thus sooner-- I used to dream from the guys Pov a LOT when I was I was 8 or 9-- just-- I'm 15 now and-- I know I'm lesbian I first came out as bi cuz the idea of not liking men was still weird to me even though I was fully exposed to the community. Just a year ago I realised and came out to my friends that im lesbian and im going thru my past like a diary and remembering a lot of instances where I just outrightly stared at my girl friends and using a lot of stupid excuses like seeing an insect in their direction just so I could stand a little closer to them. and I thought I had revisited every memory until I saw just minutes that yall dreamed out girls from the guys pov😭😭and AND I FULLY GASLIGHTED MYSELF FOR DOING THAT WHEN I HAD THEM AND THE FACT THAT I DIDNT REMEMBER THUS SOONER IS PISSING ME OFF--

(I'm new to this community like really new I may have came out a year ago but this is all still a little new to me and I dont know a lot so I'm sorry if I made any mistakes in my stupid little rant:) please correct me if needed:))

I’m happy that you like my blog! And me too, I used to dream a lot from a guy’s POV and that was simply because not only I had no idea I was a lesbian and also because I didn’t even know it was possible to like a girl while being a girl, the only thing shown to me was boys liking girls so it makes sense dreaming through their POV.

After you come out as a lesbian (or as any other LGBTQ+ identity) it’s so common to think about your past before you realized who you truly are, and you think about it and everything makes sense, your interactions with girls, your interactions with boys, it all makes sense.

Back when I dreamed about that I used to try to not think about it because I felt bad about those dreams. I’d think I shouldn’t dream of girls in that way (even if it was through a boy’s POV).

You didn’t make any mistakes, no worries!