#im invested in this

[herarcadewasteland]

Bite Me

A/N: I have no fucking clue what to title this, it's just Renfield x Reader cause i just watched it and brain went brrrr. Also such a funny movie, 10/10 recommend if gore/violence doesn’t bother you cause Dracula and shit. so many tags TT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting in Mulates with a cup of coffee and your laptop, you sighed. Robert was supposed to have met up with you over an hour ago. It wasn’t uncommon for him to vanish for hours upon hours at a time only to show up looking ruffled and frantic as he panted for breath clearly having ran from wherever he was. But this was pushing a new record, the waitress giving you a knowing look as you popped your back and cracked your neck. 

“Just the bill please, thanks.”, you sighed once more as the waitress walked off for your bill. 

The door slamming open made you jump as you turned to look at what the disturbance was, Renfield sprinting through the tables to reach your side with his usual messy hair. He gathered you into a tight hug as you huffed at him.

“You almost made a new record for how late you are for dates, Renny.”

The nickname made him smile sheepishly as he met your annoyed gaze, your own softening at his genuine guilt. He nodded and pulled you to the door as you frantically dropped the cash onto the table you were sat at.

“I know, I know. I am sorry for making you wait, Y/N. I attended that meeting last minute.”

You hummed in thought and let him drag you to a drab and downright sketchy studio apartment building a little more than halfway across town. The sign blinked at you with its last letters as you stumbled up the stairs, Renfields smile growing as you neared an apartment on the corner of the floor. Birds chirped their goodbyes as you walked into the air conditioned space with yet another sigh, your clammy hand slipping from Roberts as you toured the small and obviously recently cleaned area. The bright orange, green and pink trimmed walls hurt your eyes before you got used to it, the motivational posters stuck all over the walls making you smile at Renfield as he gave you a vibrant one in return.

“Renny it looks great. I thought you were staying with your grandmother though? Will she be okay on her own?”

Robert nodded and wrapped his arms around your waist, his bright yellow and orange jacket falling like a blanket around you as he towered above your frame. A kiss landed on the top of your head as he chuckled. 

“She will be quite alright. I have made sure she is settled in and comfortable to be on her own while I’m away.”

You nodded to him as you left his hold to wander the small space some more, your eyes roaming the posters and landing on a book that lay on the bedside-table. 

“What in the- Renny! I thought you said you quit that job!”, you huffed at him in exasperation as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Well I was going to, but something came up and I didn’t have the chance. I’ll quit soon, I promise. It’s just complicated.” 

“I know Renny but you have more power now, that asshole boss of yours isn’t here to stop you from sending in a letter of resignation.”

He shook his head as he shushed you, his arms wrapping around you again as he shook slightly against you. Your eyes closed as you relaxed in his hold, his breathing calming as yours did. Turning your head to admire his features, you smiled. He had this boyish charm about him with the aura of danger and desperation. It was so uniquely Renfield that you smiled brighter. He caught onto your smile as he looked down at you with a raised eyebrow, his finger booping your nose. Going cross-eyed involuntarily, you giggled at him. 

“Renny why~! You know I go cross-eyed every time! It’s not fun.”, you pouted up at the laughing man as he ruffled your hair. 

He acknowledged your statement with confirmation that yeah he did know, but his eyes stayed trained on your pouted lips as you blinked at him innocently. Quickly leaning down to capture your lips in a kiss, you let out a gasp as he pulled you even closer. 

Getting lost in the kiss, neither of you noticed the door opening slowly as a polished black shoe stepped through the frame dramatically.  

“Marvelous attire, very colourful.”, a voice droned from the door as you parted from the kiss to catch a glimpse of a pale man in a sparkly suit before Renfield pushed you into the adjoining room frantically, his eyes panicked and holding desperation as he shut the door on you. 

The voice carried through the door as you pressed your ear against it in an attempt to hear if Robert was alright, “You look like the kind of boy who has to fight ‘em off!”

A wheeze laughed followed as Renfields hesitant laugh filtered through, making you tense against the door, 

“So I suppose that’s a “no” for you bringing me my dinner tonight, hmmm?”

“A no? No.”, Roberts voice was clearly terrified of the idea behind saying no to whoever this sparkly pale dude was. 

“Nooo?”, it was drawn out sarcastically and almost mockingly.

“No, not a no.”

“No not mm?”, the man drawled as he took an audible sip of something.

“Uhm...Yes. Big yes to dinner!”, you could hear the over-exaggerated enthusiasm behind Roberts voice as he struggled to please whoever that man was, “A feast. A full feast, Master. In fact, I’m so glad you’re here...”

You could hear pacing and clinking as he busied himself with one thing or another as he stalled for an excuse.

“I was actually on my way to see you!”, the clinking got more frantic.

“Oh you were on your waaaaay.”, the disappointment and judgement was clear in the drawl of the man’s voice.

“Yes but I had uhm, too many bodies.”

“Oh you-you have bodies hm?”, the mocking was at full force as Renfield stumbled through his sentences while your confusion grew rapidly.

“Too- too many!”, the clinking gained speed with his voice, “So many bodies that I couldn't carry them all! You should have seen it.”

He paced over to the door, mouthing a silent apology as he opened it to glance at you briefly to busy himself anxiously. A disbelieving “Mhm” meeting your ears.

“You see the problem is, my back has really been playing up! Anyway, the plan is to rent a U-Haul and that way I’ll be able to get all the bodies...”

His entire sentence was backed by even more sarcastic “Mhmm”’s as you peeked through a small crack in the door. 

“You know what? It’s so silly but you don’t have to worry, um, and I-I won’t bother you my- my problems.”, Renfield's shrug and self pitying laugh made you furrow your eyebrows as you watched.

“No, no~”, the sparkly dressed man stood slowly as he spoke, “Please, tell me all about your problems.”

The ‘please’ was backed with a growl as Renfield stood with lowered shoulders, hoping to avoid whatever was coming his way as ‘problems’ was emphasised with hatred.

You burst from the room to stand next to Renfield as the pale man paused in his stride to eye you up and down as Robert pulled you close to hide you from view even as you peaked from around his arm to watch the man carefully. 

“Tell me all about the gun-wielding criminals who came after you for killing their men because you were protecting so-called innocent people.”

The way he spoke his last two words was bone chilling as his clawed hand extended towards your lover with an almost threatening flick as his hand rested on his hip behind his back. 

“I’m-I’m sorry.”, Renfield spoke softly and hesitantly, his arms pushing you back further as he shifted in place, “I’m sorry Master, I never meant to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?”, the eyebrow raises the man gave were almost comical if not for the promise of pain written in his jagged smile and dead eyes as he let out a wheezed chuckle, “Are you actually suggesting that anything you could do would hurt...me?!” 

HIs voice raised as he threw the vase of flowers to the ground with a loud smash to match his raised voice as Renfield raised his hands to his hips in an attempt to non-verbally console the man as he stuttered through an apology.

“No. No no no no no no, Master, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean... I didn’t mean that.”

He was nearly cut off in his apology as he grabbed your hand for moral support while you watched the man comb his greasy hair back from his forehead with a disgusting smile. 

“No, no. It’s alright- it’s alright. It’s alright.”

“Really-?”

“No, it’s, yeah.”, he finished combing his hair and held out a placating hand towards the two of you, “Let me explain something to you, okay?”

The ‘okay’ left an uneasy feeling in your stomach as he toned it like he was talking to a child. His hand pointing dramatically with each word,

“I was wrong about you. I should’ve realized what you were capable of when you were so eager to join me.”

His menacing steps forward caused Renfield to step back with a worried expression, your feet matching his movements as you backed away slowly from the approaching man. 

“I don’t think I was eager,”, Robert looked down in contemplation with eyebrows furrowed further, “I think that you caught me at a low moment and you maybe manipulated me too.”

“No, no no, no, no...”

The sparkly dressed pale man furrowed his own eyebrows in confusion as Renfield continued on his explanation before his denial clashed with Roberts sentences. 

“And you just caught me at a low moment, and used some of your power...”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! I use my power for a lot of things, but I didn’t need to use it on you. You were a lawyer who wanted to get rich off a real-estate deal. You’re the one who used me!” 

Renfield cowered slightly to the side to block you fully from the mans view as he continued his degrading.

“You used my power because you were a husk! An empty void that nothing can fill. The only thing that gave your life meaning was my power! The power you used to bring me victims while you pretended to be one yourself!”

His voice raised to a shout as you glanced up at Renfields face, his eyes full of tears as he listened. Roberts eyes closed with a shaky nod as he swallowed harshly, his hand squeezing yours tightly as the pale man sighed loudly.

“However, I am the real victim here! I am the one you swore to protect! And you...”, his breathing grew rough and loud as he glanced at you with narrowed eyes, seething with anger. “Abandoned ME!”

The clenched fists of the man made you tremble and grasp at the back of Renfields jacket tighter as he shook his head again, his voice soft and full of tears.

“No. That’s not true.”

The man leaned in with a mocking smirk, “Just like you abandoned your wife and your daughter.”

The smug look you caught on the mans face while he placed a clawed finger on his lips made you seethe. He was getting off on humiliating your lover and for what? Some kind of power trip he only got from Renfield? You tugged on Roberts jacket slightly as he looked down with more tears in his eyes.

“That’s not... I didn’t...I didn’t abandon them.”, he whimpered slightly through his sentence, grip getting tighter on your hand.

“Look into your own eyes, Renfield. You’re the monster, Renfield, not me.”

Robert shook his violently as he made eye contact fleetingly with the man, his sharp-topped finger pointing at him mockingly and almost proud, 

“It’s you.”

“No. No.”, Renfields hands shook as he let go of yours to point back at the man, “That’s enough.”

Robert took slight steps around you, making sure you were still protected by his body even though the man's eyes scanned you up and down like he could see every memory you had. Renfield walked back to stand in front of you as the greasy haired man panted from his anger, his eyebrows furrowing in pure confusion as Robert held up the book in front of him. “How To Defend Yourself Against A Narcissist” held between the three of you in a defensive position.

“What?”, the pale man voiced his confusion over the book held in shaky hands as you grasped the back of Roberts jacket. 

Renfield sighed and opened the book with shaking hands, the pages sticking together as he fought to open the book to a specific page, the other man’s confusion palpable as he leaned forward to see exactly what was happening. 

“I will no longer tolerate abuse.”, Renfields shaky voice filled the confused silence as he stood straighter. 

The man laughed hysterically, his back bending from the disbelief of what he heard and the strong laughter.

“Stop laughing.”, Renfield mumbled grumpily as he flicked through to another page, “I deserve love.”

Roberts “Master” raised an eyebrow at the statement, his eyes flickering towards you and back to Renfield as though connecting something in his head. 

“I deserve happiness.” Robert was sure in his statement, his tears clearly subsiding as he spoke stronger only to be shut down again.

“You deserve only suffering!”

Renfield let out a shaky sigh as he flipped to a new page, taking slow steps back as you followed, “Uhm, I know being undead, it’s a painful existence, it is, and I empathize with your pain.”

He gestured lightly with an expression one could only consider as empathy. The man gestures back as he continues approaching the two of you, his disdain extremely clear on his face and his words.

“Oh please. Illuminate me. Let me learn from you. I will find everyone you have ever loved and I will drain them. I will reduce this...this...”

Renfield continued backing up with you, his body lowering in a cower, “S-Studio apartment?”

“Studio apartment until it’s ash!”

“Uh, uh...”, Roberts back hit your chest with a light thud as you got cornered easily, your hand finding his biceps as the pale guy kept approaching while you both looked around in realization of your positioning, “Affirmations. Affirmations.” 

The man snarled down at you as you both shrunk closer to the ground in an effort to get away from the enclosed space and intimidating aura. 

Renfields head snapped from the pages to look up at the man and back down again repeatedly, “Uh, I’m enough. Uhm, I deserve some happiness.”

His fingers trailed over the pages as he flipped them, “There is some other stuff I have to say...”

The frantic boys page flipping was interrupted by the man as he ripped the book from his shaking hands with a snarl, “Who put these ideas in your head?”

Renfield cowered further into you as he flipped the book around in his clawed hands, eyes finding the stamp of the church on the back of it. A light growl left his mouth between pointed teeth as he snarled down at you both, his hand reaching behind Robert to pull you from behind him easily. A gasp left you as he held you against his chest, his claw pressing against your chest as he stared down Renfield.

“Of course.”, he chucked the book at Renfields head as he covered it with his hands in fear as he stared at the ground. “The church.”

Renfield looked up in fear, meeting your terrified eyes as he shook in his spot, “Let her go, she’s not a church goer. She’s atheist! Perhaps even a little spiritual! She practices witchcraft in her spare time if she feels like it!”

A growl left him as his claw lowered and pierced through your stomach, your eyes widening in pain as blood trickled from the wound. Robert sat up in fear, his eyes pleading with the man as his cold eyes watched Renfields every move. 

“Bring me my dinner by tomorrow or she won’t live to see it. Only I can awaken her now, act fast Renfield. You wanted to be the good guy so go ahead and play the good guy. You have until Midnight tomorrow or I’ll come back and finish her off.”

A gust of wind filled the apartment and you fell to the ground unconscious, your blood soaking into carpet as Renfield cradled your head carefully,

“I’ll be the hero just for you, Y/N. No matter what it takes.”

~~~~~~~~

A/N: I’m not very proud of the ending or the full thing in general, it was so much better in my head and a lot less repetitive and much more reader involved... kinda happy with it though. lemme know what you thought? 

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

[sillystringpony]

the one where cheerilee knows

[ethantheannus]

im watching minecraft parkour civilisation and i feel like such an ipad kid. why am i fully invested. why is this so well executed. why am i so entertained. what the fuck is this witchcraft

[cringefailvox]

stolas tugging the disguise down to hide blitz better. blitz holding stolas in his lap. stolas peering up at blitz from the couch looking so fucking sad. blitz's little "go on" wave when stolas automatically looks to him for permission to go dance. it's about the familiarity despite the hurt. it's about loving someone and being angry with them but being unwilling to let either overrule the other. it's about being unable to stop caring even if it might be easier on both of you. i am sobbing facedown on the floor

[rsmrnn]

A man who didn't have a father.

A man who didn't have friends.

A man who lost his mother.

He lived only when he read the book.

[blabberoo]

so theres this one fic....

[introspectivememories]

was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

It JUST occurred to me that if Hobie left Gwen the watch in her universe that means he went there and met her dad

The implications of this are SO interesting

Hobie had to go there, find Gwen’s dad, explain who he is and how he knows Gwen, then ask him to give her the watch

He even describes Hobie as a piece of work!!

I’m so curious -

Did Hobie have some choice words with Gwen’s dad? Did he say that he’s the person that housed her when she was homeless?

Hobie met Gwen’s cop dad and gave him the watch WHAT DID HE SAY WHAT WAS THAT CONVERSATION

WHAT DID HOBIE SAY TO GWENS COP DAD

[valtsv]

the amount of people i've seen saying cecil isn't a true tumblr sexyman is insulting. i did NOT spend my entire 2013 scrolling past 50 drawings a day of the most sexyman ass skintight waistcoat and purple tie alexandria's genesis looking indigo eye and tentacle tattoo sleeved twink tagged as "#wtnv" on mobile in the era where you still had to install xkit to block tags for you to tell me that cecil gershwin palmer isn't a tumblr sexyman. know your fucking history.

[redcallisto]

Kieran my baby boy. someone take him to a therapist please

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[very-small-giant]

finally got around to listening to the adventure zone and OH MY GOD i have been missing out

[forecast0ctopus]

say sike right now

[ohposhers]

i am so fucking delusional ok so my au where hickory is a country yodel troll so hes still a horse and he runs into JD while he's camping out near lonesome flats and they spend all night sitting by the fire drinking and laughing and exchanging stories and JD throws a fit a little bit cause Hickory has never heard of Brozone and its so over for me

[fairylando]

how can i go to sleep after seeing this, exactly? this is not normal behavior for "ex teammates-rivals-not yet bestfriends"??? when will they realize how crazy AND SPECIAL this is?????