#im insane im crazy someone get me a doctor

[plinchy]

And they were roommates

Maybe I'll color it. Colorings hard.. but It started with this doodle

[sylvainlover]

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[submarinerwrites]

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[dollietes]

໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა mimi’s fic recs !

in summary these are my fav fics that i’ve read recently and are living within the depths of my brain. this is just a way for my to show appreciation for the writers who had written them <3 please support their blogs and check out their other works as well!

please minors dni with the smut works. respect writers and their boundaries!!

f :: fluff / a :: angst / s :: smut

pretty girls make graves by @ijtaimes f

OBSESSED with this series!! the blend of the summer camp setting, the love triangle story, and the clever incorporation of horror elements?@)2)2) and the interactive storytelling it has with the outfit choices and other general choices?? ivy, cousin i love you and your sexy brain. i can’t get enough of it actually!

two peculiar swans by @astralnymphh f / s

WHEN I TELL YOU ALL I RAN LIKE THREE LAPS AND SAT IMMEDIATELY WHEN I SAW IT WAS POSTED. the writinggg!! so top tier! the dialogue, inner monologue how the story just flows so seamlessly?? i’m so excited for the rest of this series bro like aestra ate😋 HYPE IT UP YALL!!

loser!abby by @abbyscherry s

when i tell you all i profusely **** and ***** while reading both of the loser!abby works. like if i speak I would be deemed as insane, a mad woman it’s crazy. read them like bedtime stories before bed😭

cowboy!ellie + this by @catfern s

SAVE A HORSE RIDE A COWGIRL! COWBOY!ELLIE NATION RISEEEEE. these hcs had me foaming t the mouth like i need someone to hold me back before I ramble about how much I love these hcs and eat them up and will continue to eat up anything cowboy!ellie 😋

in for it by @brackishkittie s

ONE WORD. DIVINE. DELICIOUS. SCRUMPTIOUS. i could not stop smiling like a school girl while reading this it’s embarrassing actually. also vivian’s smau’s >>>> got me into the fandom actually

rockstar!ellie + this by @phantombriide s

i could write a thesis about how much i love this and rockstar!ellie works. like this is what i breathe, i eat, i consume everyday. it is the mantra i read to start my days. my daily reading to begin the day. god bless.

academic rival!abby by @beforeimdeceased f / s

ACADEMIC RIVALS CLENCHES FISTS. RAHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE ITTTTT. every bit of this series had me craving for more oml. like i need academic!rival abby in my bed immediately!

being pregnant with wife!abby by @bayasdulce f

baby fever has hit me once again what can i say?😞 I need wife!abby to take care of me so bad it’s getting sad at this point. I just this broke me down and worsened my baby fever (had me making a pinterest board and everything goodbye😞😞)

neighbour!ellie + this by @loaksky s / f

NEIGHBOUR!ELLIE NEIGHBOUR!ELLIE NEIGHBOUR!ELLIE MY FAV FAV FAV! i remember the influx of them on my dash and trust i was eating good 🍽️ both parts had me folding, giggling, smiling, swinging my feet everything and everything.

try it on by @moncherellie s

another work that got me into the fandom!! I remember reading this for the first time and hiding my face and giggling into my pillow and the audios lord i felt so giddy that night lmao😭

doctor!abby texts by @eightstarr f

doctor!abby has me in a chokehold like that’s my wife and mother of our three children everyone can leave pls and thanks😁 and i mean that with my whole chest. those texts are actual REAL evidence of what our convos look like you all can move (im joking pls don’t take what I’m saying seriously😭) I just am in love with everything zoe puts out because it’s so good and so dear and special to me

cutty love by @totheblood f

anything star puts out tbh >>>>> absolutely in love with cutty love actually! I am a whore for any fluff and PINNING (GIVE IT TEW ME). this is just so soft and sweet and it’s everything I need like uggggh. the audios too just chefs kiss love everything about it!

streamer!ellie hcs by @inf3ct3dd f

SIERRA’S HCS 🔛🔝 SO GOOD EATS EVERYTIME YALL like gen they all have made their home in my brain and I can’t go to bed without at least reading one of them before i hit the hay.

knight!ellie by @heavenbloom f

FIRSTLY written so beautifully?&* i love everything about this and i tend to go back to this work when I’m in need of a fluff fix! I absolutely adore how everything is written yes I’m reiterating my point because ‘green eyes thirsty for the well that was your beauty.’ LIKE WORLD STOP. ARE YOU SEEING THIS?? ‘she was utterly dedicated to you, body and soul, and she would be by your side until her very last breath. it was a fierceness, this love that consumed her, and it was all yours.’ LIKE WTF

partition by @whore4abby s

reserving my *clears throat* thoughts for now but just know * **** **** *** *** ***** **** * **** ***** *********!!! 😁😁😁 everyone should read this ASAP!

sun don’t set by @hier--soir f

another heavenly piece omg!! so in love with the writing in here oh my god. it’s so soft and sweet and it just felt like a warm hug on a cold winters day i just. please read this!!

you love it when i play with you by @ourautumn86 s

i think i like passed out and had three nosebleeds because of this. i think about this more than i should. I think about in the morning, throughout the day and night. my daily read at this point like it’s just sooooo😋😋😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

my love mine all mine by @doepretty f

this one is special to me too like. for one the writing is so beautiful and it made me shed a tear and secondly I melted into a puddle like i want Abby so bad I’m going to be sick.

[moonshynecybin]

Your takes on Marc always feel so accurate so I’d like to hear more of what you think in reference to that ask

i thinkkkkk this ask was about the pre argentina post sepang period where marc is like. attempting to mend his relationship to valentino by pure force of will and also being very sweet but vale is a lil reticent if sometimes polite... estranged but still hanging on to that lethal chemistry. death would be kinder if your name is marc marquez. but im going to take a HARD turn into omegaverse land here so sorry to god and his motorcycle racers

SO i think marc obviously like. doesnt really want to believe its over. hes soooo in love here (and as a canonical late bloomer i dont think hes EVER had a heat without vale?? and he is discovering that he is in fact quite bad at dealing with them by himself?) and i really do think that, as hurt as he was by the sepang fallout, he really thinks vale will get over it with time ! and that eventually theyll be able to be as close as they were previously! as soon as he unblocks me the wedding is back on ! truly cannot imagine doing a heat with anyone else he feels literally cold down to his bones thinking about it. and its not even just the dynamic stuff... he misses the grabby hands on cooldown laps and the hugs in parc ferme and the way vale used to put his long fingers in marc's hair to put him where he wants him when they were fucking and the soft skin of his neck and how when vale would touch him everything in marc's brain could just go quiet. truly he feels it in his TEETH like the longing is LETHAL the longing is PHYSICAL the longing has marc IGNORING HIS BODY'S BASIC NEEDS and refusing to go out and find someone to spend a heat with that would actual resolve the hormonal part of his biology reaching for vale (and break that mf bond). so the heat never quite fully resolves! and he feels antsy and feverish and smells literally crazy for weeks at a time. every alpha in the paddock bristling when the wind changes direction... vale staring at the sky with his nails digging into his palms

so marc's already shaky self control is pushed to the limit by his body's insane hormonal situation (motogp doctor is like. technically he can ride !) and so for a few years he decides to kind of. wage this tentative little campaign to see if he can get vale to smile at him or literally touch him at all and relieve a little of the tension swimming around in his body. ANY relief. so he says hi to him every day. goes up to him in parc ferme. small little touches on the podium. just making vale smell like him a little bit. hind brain rejecting the reality where they havent really touched skin on skin in months. waiting for vale to take off his glove before he shakes his hand. BUT because this is omegaverse and i love DRAMA, what marc doesnt realize is that he is sort of. fortifying the beginning stages of a bond that they had started to form when they were fucking. a bond that WOULD have just died if he left it alone or found someone else, but he canttttt because hes oblivious and in love... AND THEN he gets another heat, and its SO much worse... like the effects are compounding, and he can barely see straight and he's feverish and shaking with big eye bags all pale and sad... and eventually alex notices and pulls the plug. says you will NOT get on a bike like this and marc gets permission to stop and basically COLLAPSES

but meanwhile vale is being driven INSANE this entire time because the bond wont DIE but its also not COMPLETED, and marc keeps TOUCHING HIMMMM and smelling insaneeee like hes in heat literally constantly and vale doesnt know what the ISSUE is.... and hes caught up in soooo much resentment but theres literally a base part of his body that cannot physically ignore marc whatsoever. so its an escalating arms race of horny frustration until marc suddenly pulls out of the race one weekend (the official line is for "dynamic reasons" which vale stares at for full minute wondering. is anyone taking care of marc like he would. caught between wanting him to be okay and feeling SICK thinking about another alpha helping him through any of it...) and then theres a knock at his motorhome door. and its alex marquez, looking tired and a little nervous. and he just says. i need your help. its marc.

[scifirice]

The game Doomed in danny phantom has insane implications.

Before you go typing stuff, I am aware it's the result of needing a video game to have stakes and the writers needing a plot. I understand watsonian and doylist reasoning, im a writer myself. this is purely for the in-universe implications which I believe are crazy.

In episode 12: Teacher of the Year, danny and his friends are playing some kind of online game where the grand prize for beating it is full access to the World Wide Web. I re watched this episode prior to writing this, though it has been a hot minute since ive seen the other episodes, so i don't know exactly if they've actually used the internet prior to that episode. But i do remember technus escaping because Danny deleted his old save of Doomed so i guess that does imply he beat it at some point after episode 12.

The mere fact they can even play an online game in the first place would imply they have some access but not as much as they could. Kind of like how when you have a learners permit you can only drive in the daytime with an adult in the passenger seat. Can you imagine getting online and only being able to access wikipedia and facebook? Thats what I'm seeing from this.

So as far as we know, anyone who wants to get full access to the internet has to play and beat this game. We see danny and tucker make it to the final level multiple times, it takes them all night but that assumes even an average player can make it far if they keep at it. So the game itself couldn't be too difficult.

But what bewilders me the most is what Sam's doing. Why does this game have PVP? Sam hasn't beat the game either, she was likely doing it just to fuck with danny and tucker but she also blasts some random dude at the beginning. The trio seemed to all be able to win the game together at the very end, meaning there isn't any actual reason for pvp since there's no need to claim the prize solely for yourself.

Then there's Lancer. He's already beating the goddamn game! Yet he comes back just to beat it again and fight people! Is he gaining anything from this? Probably not. But why would this be an option for returning players? It's like someone who gets a doctorate degree and then goes around a middle school with a baseball bat bashing any student they see trying to learn and the school staff do nothing about it.

Why is the world set up like this? Did the government decide full internet access is something someone should have to take a test for? Did everyone have to take the test or were they grandfathered into keeping full access? I dunno how old Lancer is but unless we assume he was only playing the game for fun, he had to have beat Doomed when he was younger. so that implies his generation and the one after were all subject to this rule.

Is Doomed the only game like this? are there other games for other kinds of people since not everyone is good at FPS games? Could there be other things like make a character on the sims live for a whole year on max difficulty and then you win? Beat halo on legendary with all skulls on? speedrun mario 64 below the allowed time limit? Whose idea was this!? Not everyone is going to want full access when they're teens like danny, but what about when you get a job? Do you need to put "I beat Doomed" on your resume? this whole this is just fucking bizzare,

It's a minor detail never really brought up again, but the wider implications of it are immense. Anyway, im using this episode as inspiration to write a story because I cannot let this idea just get swept under the ecto-rug.

[theropoda]

...... i have. PRAWBLEMS. with the ending but honestly i felt very unwell and gross rn so i had difficulty focusing in the first place, maybe if i watch it again when i feel better ill feel different. under read more bc this got long lol

disclaimer before anyone GETS at me: i am not a critic. im literally just some guy watching a tv show, and i am really more confused than anything so if you really enjoyed the finale and feel like it was the perfect way for the show to end im happy for you! i don't have any intent on arguing it Absolutely Wasn't. this isn't a Hatepost. just me airing my thoughts. that are probably really incoherent bc again, i feel unwell ;_; brain is more focused on my stomach than this damn show

i knew how this was gonna end, i did watch the end of this show before, ive always been familiar w house because i watched episodes of it on tv as a kid with my mom and sister and knew major plot points like amber's death and wilson's cancer and house faking his death and everything but. the details were lost on me. now that i know the details something about them just doesn't jive with me and feel right.

probably related to my earlier post about how even in the final season so much of house is the same. he tried to change for the better but he was still back. i mean the entire premise of the show is about "the disabled addict doctor who struggles to be a person" so if any of these magically stopped being there that'd be stupid ESPECIALLY him being a disabled addict which are so central to his character. so im definitely not complaining about that.

initially i thought him faking his death was insanely reckless but what other choice was available. if he went, Hey, im here! im alive he'd absolutely be going to jail. in jail so far away while his best friend, maybe his only friend would be dying alone. of course he did that. his only choice was ttofake his death to be with wilson. throwing away his whole life and legacy and career and reputation to be with him.

hilson endgame real but also, while watching the whole show i kept going from "tumblr didn't lie these guys are gay" to "Tumblr may have oversold it a bit". but that might just be in the nature of its episodic structure. not e everything is abt wilson there's other people in house's lofe but in that final season everything does speed up, suddenly and become about wilson. which brings me to the whole cancer thing. in my memory of the show from watching it as a kid, Wilson's cancer came up as a plot point WAY earlier and there is much more time to discuss it in the show. to ponder and delve into it, what it means for wilson, for house, for the show. but actually watching the show it feels very sudden....! i felt like the entire cancer thing, which plays so damn heavily into the SERIES FINALE, wasn't explored enough...? it felt rushed. but it might feel like it because well there's a difference between watching a show as it comes out on a schedule vs binge watching it on demand.

and another thing that irked me is- but this is more of a "this personally makes me Feel Sad and Weird" as opposed to genuine criticism is how EVERYONE thinks house is dead except Two People. that's crazy. i have a Thing for closure and knowing things, the truth, im a little paranoid about that, but it just feels insane to me that house's own parents, family, former and current colleges, lovers, everyone... they all think he's dead when he's not. i see how that is, in terms of the Narrative, a good thing? house is truly FREE now. and if other people knew they'd probably call the police. but also that's just kinda horrifying.... I don't know. idk. also wtf cuddy wasn't there at the funeral? D: obviously i know how their last meeting went but they were such big part of each other's lives im rlly shocked she wasn't there! or even showed up at ALL in the ending scene where we see where everyone's life has headed, a little scene of her, Rachel, and someone new

and also. ._. how did that fire even start in the first place?..... did i miss something....? uaaaaah. i should watch it again

ugh but despite my peeves. i want to pass this off as Just another show ive watched, time to move on to the next, because a big part of the reason i started house and kept going and even chose to watch it at the times i did was because i have been going through some rough shit mentally for the past. entire year plus. i have relied on it to keep me distracted. i want to just move onto the next distraction but i have become so attached, it's hard to not feel :/ and :( about 1) the fact it's over now 2) it ended in a way that makes me feel funny, and not in a good way. aaaahhhhh.

[kartana]

[People I'd like to get to know better]

thank you tagging me @weepycat !!! I remember first getting on tumblr and seeing these all the time and wanting to do them so bad but I was too shy. I hope ur doing well!!!

Last song: Misty Mauve by Tatsuro Yamashita. I found a clean rip on SoundCloud and it's been my one song I repeat on there so I avoid ads. I've memorized phonetically 85% of the song since spanish and Japanese have the same sounds. I've played this song for years now it's crazy but also it's so good I highly rec it

Favorite color: there's a specific shade of yellow orange that just really brightens my day like what a sunset looks like right before the sky turns to night. Between Mandarin peels and Neon orange climbing rope. Specifically when it's like the splash of color in an otherwise muted scene idk. I feel like my answer changes a lot tho

Currently watching: I guess the last thing I watched was Dandadan with a friend of mine, I saw the first episode and ended up reading the entire manga so it's likely going to be the series I keep up with. Very excited to see turbo granny soon

Currently reading: I just fixed up my nook and downloaded all of Brandon Sandersons stormlight archive books, I've just finished part 1 of his first book The Way of Kings. I'm reading since my friend really wanted me n other friends ti read it so she could start a book club so I'm reading it partly for her and partly because I haven't bitten into a fat fantasy book in a while and I know I'd like it. I was starting his other book mistborn but was told off and instructed to read the way of kings first so im doing that. I'm also reading the manga Gachuakuta as it comes out chapter by chapter with one of my close friends it's been really fun being able to follow a manga as it releases and the art style goes hard.

Last movie: took me a second but I think it was Doctor Sleep at a friend's movie night. I have not watched the shining. Which I feel adds to the experience in a sideways unique way. Rebecca Ferguson's hat in that movie is so funny. I liked it but it felt kinda insane. Like it could've been weirder but it had some shining Hollywood ropes to jump thru. Very fun otherwise very silly.

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet I'm sorry to my spicy and savory lovers I'm right there with you but I've recently embraced and accepted I have a sweet tooth and it's been wonderful. I can still throw it down spicy style with only a little crying and savory is soooo close too but sweet. The grip honey in my tea has on me.

Relationship status: I'm dating someone rn 🫣 it's been about 2 months since our first date and it's been really nice🥰. It's been really helpful since in August I needed to get rid of a friend crush which is now back to being a good friendship and today I'm gonna introduce my date to a lot of friends so I'm half nervous half very excited for people to meet. Every day I thank God for Bi women. Bi4Bi baby

Current obsession: Competitive Pokémon TCG. It's truly taking over my life in a good way I love it so much. I want to get to worlds next year. I have like 4 decks rn and I'm making more. My strongest deck and most consistent(despite it being by nature an inconsistent deck) has been playing Lugia Archeops I love those two pokemon and I love how the deck plays. It's a joy to look at new cards and try and game theory new innovations or strategies against other met decks and I have been really good about not buying packs and gambling away money. I will buy singes and b happy. Please talk to me about this I will happily explain and help you get into it.

I will tag @hoth-damn @lieblingsfags @theflyingsealion @stantler @infernape @reptilepolice @poochyenas @kumatora @rexroads @ainawgsd @stylesheet @ava-stuck @castellla @shimptank @tzuyusgf @151 @vivillon @ithoughtitwasbroccoli @beleth

🎃!!!

[dzzystrs]

LOE UPDATE; i got spayed (a hysterectomy)!

i just wanted to talk about it a little bit, i know i dont use this blog much anymore especially for personal stuff, but this is kinda yknow. a huge life update!

i tried two birth controls over the last year and a half that both made me um. crazy. worsened my depression significantly, did not improve my periods, yada yada. my psychiatrist (who i LOVE!!!!!!) had referred me to her childhood best friend who is an obgyn and EXTREMELY queer friendly (and she is a lesbian!!!) and we discussed my options going forward, which was essentially iud or surgery. i refuse to try anything i couldn't stop taking immediately (bc of my past experience w birth control), so i got referred to her obgyn surgeon that she adores (and i also now adore <3)9

and pretty much he agreed that surgery was probably in my best interest, im trans w/ no interest in having children, i probably have/had endometriosis, and my periods were ruining my life, so despite my living in oklahoma and being 22 y/o, he got my scheduled within a month and half to get my surgery. WHICH WAS A LOT TO PROCESS, but now im one day post op and maybe its the oxy talkin but im so . relieved. happy.

they found a cyst on my right ovary while operating, plus lesions that are indicative of endometriosis, but allegedly the cyst can be a sign of severe stage of endometriosis which. explains a lot of the pain i was in. and also for me at least justified my hysto so much more. it's only been about 24 hours since they used a robot to remove thangs from me, but i've felt very little pain so far.

and the craziest part about all of this is im not medically transitioned my doctor is so crazily transfriendly and the first thing i heard when i woke up from surgery was someone gendering me correctly. i never heard my deadname once throughout all of this, my preferred name is on all my medical documents and my wristband. i feel so fortunate and grateful and just. happy. joy. i got a fucking HYSTERECTOMY in oklahoma as a non medically transitionated they/he and i was respected the ENTIRE time. i feel insane /pos

ok i think thats all my thoughts for now. i just wanted to share this experience while i was having all my feelings about it n stuff. i might post more, i might not, i think i Will have to crowdfund at some point to help pay off my surgery depending on how my payment plan gets set up, if not then to at least supplement some of my income that im losing while on leave to cover essentials and medical copays. so you still might hear about it in that capacity lol

[lostfracturess]

hi nici i'm back

So I stumbled on, each day collapsing into the next.  Until the next semester started and I remembered I had an actual job.

lmaoooo wait he kinda relatable for that ngl

GASSPPP SHE'S IN THE CLASS HE'S TEACHIGN omg this is so crazy. w all their history. n it's just back to square one. teacher n student. also i cant believe it's been four weeks sighhh

"Have you ever thought about how I felt when I found you?" she snapped, her voice rising. "How terrified I was when you wouldn't respond? When you couldn't even recognize me? When I thought you'd die on me?" She took a shaky breath. "Fuck Satoru, I held your face in my hands while you were barely breathing!"

YES!! LIKE SRS I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW TERRIFYING THAT WAS. omg this argument scene i canttt i mean reader kinda spittin facts but also idk it's hard for him too :((

"And that," she leaned closer, almost brushing my lips, "is what makes you the most pathetic person I know."

GODD I'M LOVING THIS FUCKING ANGST RN IT'S SO GOOD. THE ANGER IS SO PALPABLE also i just love how consistently in character reader is

But I also wanted nothing more than to fuck that attitude out of her right then and there.

HELPSDKFJSHDKF i must love toxic bc this had me UHHHHHH HAD ME FEELIN LOTS

:(( omg reader saying she's been waiting for it to get easier n how he said it would (once again proposing the song loml by ts for s&c couple) also KSDJFHSDKL suguru always walking in on them damn. send HIM to therapy too LOL

man i am EXHAUSTED for satoru rn. every single day for him is like a living hell jesus. i mean it CANNOT feel good for him to live this way, obv he's an addict but i guess i always err on the side that it's not really addicts faults?? esp when you know what goes on biochemically when it comes to addictions, they are literally almost impossible to fight, and in a lot of cases, canonically for s&c gojo too, addicts didn't WANT to be come miserable n codependent on substances. a lot of times, it's just bad place/time or someone coercing or influencing them to begin. and then they're fucked for life. the fact he's managed to become a self sufficient professor and maintain surgerical prowess while fighting an addiction is incredible, but he neeeeeds to get clean. like, there's nothing more important rn than for him to just. literally put himself in rehab, in therapy, etc. idk. im word vomiting here but i just really hope he gets genuine professional help. ive always found it interesting how doctors are at times the most careless of their own health

DAMNNN he called her a bitch.

oh my godsshhh the hATE SEX. PLS.

"You're a fucking hypocrite, you know that?" I leaned closer, my mouth close to her ear. "You hate who I am, but you crave this, don't you? Giving up control, being at my mercy. Admit it."

sighhhh. yes.

I leaned down over her, my hand snaking into her hair. I grabbed it tightly, forcing her head up to meet mine. "I love you, first-year," I murmured against her ear. She trembled, but her defiance remained strong. "I hate you." I sighed — always so fierce, makes me wonder what it takes to fuck that stubborn attitude out of her.  "It's alright, I love you enough for both of us."

HEEELPPP IM DECEASED THIS IS SO SEXY AND SO TOXIC AT THE SAME TIME SFKJHSDKFJS

damn. this chapter was just pure angst. im ngl gojo's brain is an insane thing, and the way you WROTE THISSS NICI???? literal poetry. i cannot believe how you can make me feel sm emotions n im like exhauted rn. emotionally worn out. but in a good way lol idk if this makes sense, but in the sense that it hurts so good?? anyways yet another awesome chapter, thanks sm for your hard work :''')

hello in part two !!

GASSPPP SHE'S IN THE CLASS HE'S TEACHIGN omg this is so crazy. w all their history. n it's just back to square one. teacher n student. also i cant believe it's been four weeks sighhh

they really are back to the beginning, but still everything changed, i loved this idea that they have this kind of seeing each other for the first time again in class as like in the beginning of the story 🫠💔

HELPSDKFJSHDKF i must love toxic bc this had me UHHHHHH HAD ME FEELIN LOTS

lol you're not the only one haha

also KSDJFHSDKL suguru always walking in on them damn. send HIM to therapy too LOL

poor suguru – the man needs a break from walking in on this trainwreck of a relationship. and yeah, a good therapist wouldn't hurt him either 😂😂

& yes ur talk about addiction is spot on. it breaks my heart, too, because that ongoing internal struggle is a huge part of what makes gojo such a compelling character.

his addiction isn't just a simple choice, it's incredibly complex, especially when you factor in his history and the immense pressure he faces every day. and his self-hatred and guilt just fuel the cycle.

and yes gojo desperately needs help, but for him, there's that added layer of fear – the fear of vulnerability, the fear of failure, and the overwhelming belief that he doesn't deserve help. really tragic. shame the author for writing this pewww !!

DAMNNN he called her a bitch.

i found it hilarious ngl 😂😂

ahhh, thank you so so much for always reading, commenting, and sharing your thoughts so generously ellie. it truly means the world to me 😭😭❤️

[losercade]

Listening to Sherlock & Co! Thoughts so far:

EP. 4:

- this will be the last episode I listen to tonight 🫡

- 🗣 326 STEPS

- he CAN handle the stairs !!!

- let him go the pub if he wants

- "I'm unemployed!!" 😭😭

- I don't want to have conversation either, sherlock.

- "YOU ARE INCORRECT SIR!!!!"

- "I AM NOT YOUR BLOODY MATE"

- yell at him sherlock go off king

- LMFAO "unless your planning on challenging him to a duel"

- I died in minecraft shoot (delete this one it has nothing to do with sherlock & co)

- OH YEAH WE STOLE HIS PHONE

- NO MORE DRIPS

- no don't leave :(

- HES COVERED IN BLOOD

- oaqhwh.. his nose...

- I forgot he was a doctor lmao

- mrs. Hudson 😌

- "goodness me Watson I'm delirious"

- "when I was letting him beat me up"

- OH SHOOT THE VASES ARE STOLEN ARENT THEY?!

- oh maybe they're not

- "just doin my homework :)"

- THE MUG STORES THE ACID JUST FINE

- YOU GOT THIS WATSON I BELIEVE IN YOU

- MONEYYYYYYY

- tests also give me anxiety Watson

- "are you insane???" "No I'm broke"

- give Watson his sponsor yeesh

- oh this guy's a creep holy

- don't make her drink tea

- WRONG ? Oh no

- oh boy

- CREEP CREEP CREEP CREEP

- "prepare to be jealous 😌"

- WATSON LEAVE THE ROOM!!!! HE WENT "pretty please 🥺"

- WATSON NO

- EUGH HES CREEPY

- MY personal space feels invaded

- NO HIS MICROPHONE

- :(

- "I'm doing a podcast 😀"

- THE LORD OF THE MINGS IM SOBBINF 😭😭😭

- get out of there guys he's a creep

- YES GOSH KILL HIM

- RUN WATSON GO HELP HER

- HOLY CRAP IS THAT THE END

- good moral. Don't have acid in kitchen and don't have guests. Great.

- yay she's safe!!! :)

- CASE CLOSED CASE CLOSED OGMRJEGGRHEEJHEHEHEHEHWJJHhrhrr...

- oh he's alive...? Put him in jail

- counting steps :)

- lmfao he's right he did complain about having an empty fridge

- more money wonderful !!

- YEA SET UP A BUISNESS FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT

- YES HELP THEM PLEASE 😭😭😭

- SHERLOCK & CO YEWHHAHGWGWGEYEGEGE

- oh boy

- I love this

- charge your mic better king

- "THE ADVENTURE OF THE SOCK THIEF 😒"

- OH I'm going crazy that was wonderful 😭😭😭 I love this sm

[fauvestictragedy]

this isnt au stuff mb but im just so hyped someone is actually in the room fandom!!!! i recently just binged all 4 games (recently as in finished 4 like 30 minutes ago) bc of the summer sale making the bundle super cheap and it kills me how its story isnt more popular, especially for how old and iconic it is. i just wanted to say hi to a fellow room fan, and i would absolutely love to hear anything about your au you wanna share! have a good day!

Hello there, fellow fan.

Autism goes fucking insane man.

Something something random hyperfix on absolutely unspoken characters from the series: See, Dr. Beckett (his first name is Adam to me.)

The protagonist is actually just Trevor Pinerod, an old OC of mine, he just gets used as Tag because I could NOT be bothered to make a new character design. Anyways, as he is also a man with a medical degree, he’s homies with Beckett, and works with him, as the top doctor at a hospital, which Beckett now runs following what happened with Lucy Montfaucon. (fun fact: originally Trevor and Beckett were supposed to hate each other, but we got bored and now they are the best of friends. Take what you will with that. They be dropping the hardest lines of all time and oh my god they kill me ouuuuuugh)

Anyways, fun fact is that a lot of what I’m working with is built alongside @scylla-and-charybdis-posts and @balencia (Rose, and Deity.) !! We actually are just a few RPers who don’t know how we got here over the last two years.

Rose is responsible for a large portion of Dr. Beckett’s writing, and I just am the one who does the funny art. You’ll also occasionally see Rigby, Robert, or McAllister too, as I did designs for the last two like two days ago, and I just like Rigby. I also have Hirst, Montfaucon, Lucy, and Hydrus with designs, as well as Simon and A.S. Maggey has one but we actually know what she looks like 100% pretty much.

Anyways here’s your content. My asks are ALWAYS open for TR related thoughts, and I have a separate ask blog for my Pokémon AU!!

Thanks for reaching out man, I’m the only artist around the fandom 95% of the time, and I may be crazy but I gotta feed y’all one way or another.

- Les Fauves

[gorillaxyz]

HI. HI OK george was 44 when he was president and he is currently 50 in the current normal story (1966) his win wasnt really a landslide but it wasnt really close either. canonically what happens is that the american population is really stupid and just saw his name on the balllot and was like Wow like from the moveys :)

AND ALSO WITH HIM BEING IMPEACHED AND JFK BEING HIS VP this means that jfk would then become president like right after hes impeached in june 1960. which means jfk is still president in time to get shot in 1963. hooray!

ALSO I LVOE YOUR DRAWING SO MUCH ITS SO GOOD ITS SOSOSOSOOSOSO GOOD... THATS MY GUY HEY MAN...........

NOOOOOO i fucking firgot. that the vp takes over when something ahppens to the prez. how am i so stupid... oh well. THATS SO SAD. im guessing due to ww3 he wasnt shot in the same context... i am curious... and sad. the kennedys can never catch a break....

the reason he got all the votes is so FUCKCIUDSFJDSFJBF FUNNYYYYYYYYY I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT nixon would have cried and peed his pants (he wouldnt have irl but in your world... it could be true)

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm whi SORRY I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT BE MAKING UP ANSWERS FOR on the spot im so sorry. i jkust heart the way the presidency works. does your jfk still somehwat confide in and ask for advice from nixon and eisenhower... eisenhower would be good bc he was The ww2 vet.. what abt trumanAUAUAUAUAUUUHHHHH sorry im crazy.

also when jfk became prez did he pick lbj as his vp or someone... diffrant... and would nixon still have been able to become prez in 68? does watergate still happen... ohhh OHHH im taking it way too seriously but im so curious abt in universe foreign policy and domestic policy and why am i wonderimg abt inflation and stuff and the new frontier and aagghhhhhhh growls and grabs my head. the demons are trying to escspe

IM GLAD YOU LIKED THE DRAWING YAYAYAYAYAAY it was just a little something yknow but the idea of this awkward man appearing soooo much better next to nixon... just to highlight how BAAAAADDDD NIXONS PERFORMANCE WAS ok it was for me and my nixanity more than anything else... im selfish... but uts so silly and i love everything abt the world you have created. it iss o beautiful

how does thre nuclear war stuff work... big eyes curious... what starts it n stuff and how does ww3 end... is mutually assured destruction still a thing or are the worlds powers able to hold bacj on nuclear suiciding the earth... are there doctor strangelove references somewhere. insane face. i am so curious.....

THANK YOU FOR INDULGINHG ME AND TELLING ME ABT THIS STUFF. ITS AWESOME. I LOVE IT/.... THANJK YOU...

[doctorwhoisadhd]

im so fucking insane first love / late spring is such a fucking perfect doctorjack song throwing up throwing upppp

sorry i HAVEEEEE to lay out EXACTLY what scenes / lines i relate all the lyrics to so heres that.

the black hole / of the / window / where you sleep: jack in his bed through the manhole (small worlds) + 13 at night in her jail cell (revolution of the daleks)

the night breeze / carries / something sweet / a peach tree: jack hearing the tardis (end of days) + "i've missed that sound" (revolution of the daleks)

wild women don't get the blues / but i find that / lately i've been crying like a / tall child: "i was in prison for being me right at the point when i wasnt sure what that meant" (revolution of the daleks)

so please hurry leave me:

jack realizing that they left him (the parting of the ways)

10 seeing jack running toward the tardis and trying to get away (utopia)

"how long have u known?" "ever since i ran away from you. good luck" (utopia)

10 looking back at jack + jack winking after he gets shot by the dalek (journey's end)

i can't breathe: jack coming back to life 8 billion different times

please don't say you love me:

"it's not easy even just looking at you, jack" (utopia)

"its like when u fancy someone and they dont even know u exist, thats what its like. come on" "you too, huh?" (the sound of drums)

"and three very special people ive missed" "one of them was me, right?" (revolution of the daleks)

jack being weird abt ianto calling them a couple (children of earth)

"if it was going to be anyone, itd be you. but i cant" (legend of the sea devils)

You Know, THAT Scene (children of earth day 4)

"i think i need to do this next bit alone" (power of the doctor)

胸がはち切れそうで (mune ga hachikire-sōde; my chest is about to burst):

8 billion jack deaths

the scene with the hand (day one)

"earth 1892. got in a fight in ellis island. a man shot me thru the heart" (utopia)

9 / 10 about to regenerate (parting of the ways + the stolen earth)

one word from you and i would / jump off of this / ledge i'm on / baby:

various shots of jack on rooftops OR dying for the doctor

"i was much better off as a coward" (the parting of the ways)

"the right kind of doctor" (end of days)

jack keeping 10 from falling into the engines (utopia)

jack jumping off the roof (immortal sins)

didnt somebody fall off a cliff in the timeless children??? that

tell me "don't" / so i can / crawl back in:

jack obeying 10 and not shooting the futurekind (utopia)

the way jack looks at the daleks before he purposefully gets shot by them (journey's end)

just. all the times jack obeys the doctor

and i was so young / when i behaved / twenty five: jack and 9 in series 1

yet now i find / i've grown into / a tall child: jack realizing how to kill the 456 (coe day 5) + something something 13 timeless child etc etc

and i don't wanna go home yet: jack's childhood etc (adam) + 13 putting the pocket watch into the console (the vanquishers)

let me walk to the top of the big night sky: jack using the vortex manipulator to disappear (children of earth day 5)

anyway im SO fucking crazy.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw: csa, incest, emotional abuse, self harm, medical issues.

looking for advice.

tl;dr, i think my mother sexually abused me, but im confused and uncertain what to call it, and wondering how i could bring it up to my therapist. also, for anatomical context, im a 20yo nonbinary person who was assigned female at birth & my mother is a cisgender woman.

hi. i don’t really know how to start this so im sorry but im just gonna launch right in. basically, my mother did some things to me as a child that made me extremely uncomfortable, and which have definitely caused some trauma. this all occurred from since i was very young up until i was about 13. she watched me shower naked even when i was expressing discomfort to the point of tears, had me shower with her when i was too old and uncomfortable about it, often touched my genitals and put (non-medical) creams on and in them for "health reasons", would penetrate my vagina with her fingers during those sessions, and was naked around me all the time. when my dad would be away on trips, she would make me sleep in her bed with her while she was naked and make me hug her, and would ask me to sleep naked/with less clothes on too, but i always refused this. again, i told her how uncomfortable it made but it didn’t matter to her.

these experiences affected me pretty negatively - i have nightmares about being raped or a friend being raped, or about trying to escape a rapist. sometimes ive gotten so terrified of being assaulted, i would do illogical stuff like hanging crystals over my bed for "protection" (despite usually not believing in spiritual things - everyone’s beliefs are valid of course, but personally it’s not something i believe in) or block my door with shoes (which ultimately could be pushed out of the way so it wasn’t that effective, but again it was based more on fear than logic). i get really scared and shaky when someone touches me. i get flashback sensations where it feels like im being touched in private areas. i don’t even like to think about sex, though im not sure if that’s because of trauma or if im maybe just asexual.

the issue is, i don’t know if any of that counts as actual sexual abuse because i don’t know if she got any sexual pleasure out of it. yes, it affected me, and yes, shes a bad person in many other ways - but that doesn’t mean that she was intentionally sexually assaulting me.

she has emotionally abused me pretty severely throughout my entire life. most of it is just the usual stuff - calling me names, slurs, and swear words, telling me im worthless or a waste, threatening me, saying no one wants me and no one will ever believe me, etc. but there’s a few things that stand out in relation to her possible csa of me.

1) she definitely uses "health reasons" and medical stuff as an excuse for emotional abuse, so it would make sense for her to use it as an excuse for csa. for example, some of her emotional abuse involved taking me to a doctor and making me get a blood test because i was "behaving badly" and she decided that there must be something medically wrong with me for me to behave this way, so i had to get blood drawn to run tests. the tests came back perfectly fine. 2) she used to seemingly get some sort of pleasure out of watching me self harm. i used to hit and punch myself to the point of bruising, often using a piece of wood to make it worse, and she would just watch and laugh. she’d make comments about how i was crazy and how everyone would eventually find out that i was insane. in a weird way, those comments kind of encouraged me to hurt myself worse… i guess since she was so flippant about it, or because they made me hate myself more. anyway, i don’t know what she got out of all that, but it made her smile and laugh to see me hurt, so maybe she really does get some kind of strange pleasure out of messing with me, im not sure. 3) she often used me as a bit of a personal therapist, even when i was 6 or possibly younger, so it’s possible that she would just use me as a replacement for her husband when he wasn’t home. i’ve always felt like im no more than a belonging to her, an object that serves a purpose but should never have feelings of its own. she’s told me many times that she wanted a child so she would have someone to "talk at", and she’s admitted that she would get mad at me as an outlet for grief when her own mother died. if she used me for sexual/romantic reasons, it wouldn’t totally be out of character.

on the other hand, im sure it could be explained in a more innocent way. maybe she did touch me for health reasons. and she probably just didn’t care about my discomfort/fear/etc related to the showering and nakedness. it’s more likely that she simply didn’t care about my emotions, rather than her getting sexual pleasure from it. maybe it was just another part of her emotional abuse, except with weird physical contact and the violation of sexual boundaries, cause she really messed with me psychologically.

so is it still sexual abuse if the violation of boundaries and non-consensual touching of private areas wasn’t necessarily due to her being some kind of pedophile, but rather just not really caring or whatever? what even counts as sexual abuse/assault when it’s a woman doing it to another afab person? how can i explain it to my therapist when it’s all very complicated and unclear in my own head?

thank you for reading. hope you’re doing well.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been through.

I don't think that a perpetrator must derive sexual gratification in order for it to be considered sexual abuse, because intent isn't more important than impact. Sometimes genitals need to be touched for medical reasons, but it sounds like it was used as an excuse here. Even if it were "accidental" which by the repeated nature of these situations it seems otherwise, what still transpired was SA. I think also what you mentioned about the additional emotional abuse strengthens the argument that she knew what she was doing. There's no explanation for watching you shower or showering with you at an older age where this wasn't necessary. There's no explanation for being made to sleep naked with her. There's no explanation for her ignoring you expressing your discomfort with all of this. It's ultimately up to you how to name your experiences, but you can call this SA, CSA, or incest if any feel fitting to you.

I'm glad to hear that you have a therapist you can talk to about this. However you feel comfortable explaining this to your therapist is okay. You don't have to have a concise narrative, it's okay to explain it in whatever way makes most sense to you, and your therapist can explore certain parts more in order to get a more comprehensive understanding.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[treetownconfessions]

go ahead buddy. thats literally what this page is for

oaky. well. whenever other ppl in the fandom talked about how they first got into htf i always felt stupid about it because of the way i went about things. i, like many others, got into htf when i was a teen (it was more like 12 but close enough) but i hated the gore and the suffering of the characters so so much it was insane . it was a weird interest because htfs whole thing revolves around that stuff but i didnt like when they were hurt. i was a really sensitive(???) kid, and even in regular cartoons just seeing my favorite characters in distress would scare me and i have a lot of crying memories when i was 6-7 because of that (theres this episode of wow wow wubbzy where wubbzy hurts his tail or something and he has to go to the doctor and i have an IMPORTANT memory of running to my mom over it and needing a hug and uhhhh i dont think i ever finished that episode) i liked the htf characters and fanart more than the gore and what i used to do was watch only the first halves (sometimes less) of htf episodes before all the bad stuff happened bc that was when the characters were doing regular cutesy stuff, and right before the disaster struck id just click off to another one and repeat the process. i took a lot of comfort in pretending all these soft animals were living happily and normally and not being brutalized because i was stupidly attached to them. i thknk flippy-based episodes had it the roughest because id click off WAY faster bc a lot of his episodes are about him flipping out and i did not like fliqpy in the slightest because him being there automatically meant someone was gonna get hurt and i was like ":(" i also didnt like nutty because his crazy attitude made it so hard to predict if he was gonna get hurt or not so anytime he was on screen i was always so stressed and on the edge of my seat. and i felt really weird about it becyz nearly everyoen liked htf BECAUSE of the injury and shock but i despised it with a passion

ANYWAY im almost 19 and that was years ago and im fine with gore and my favs being in tough situations now but it was. rough. when i was younger.

oh anon, thats not something to be like- ashamed of or feel strange about! its perfectly natural and understnadable. everyone feels differently about gore, or violence, or difficult things in fiction. the whole point of fiction is that youre able to choose when something is enough and you arent having fun anymore.

youre not silly for feeling this way!