#im honestly pretty terrified of posting this but it needs to be said

[mischivana]

Hiiiiiii love your post they're really nice 👍

Would you want to do 44 with Piper x fem reader? Reader thought they weren't capable of love with never getting a crush on a boy but absolute gay panic when meeting Piper

But also internalize homophobia and fear of love as a whole.

I Love You and It Terrifies Me

Piper x Fem!Reader

Pronouns: She/her

Summary: You’ve always felt like you were incapable of love because you were never able to form a crush on any guys at school. But when yu return to camp that year, there’s a girl that makes you question everything.

TW: Gay panic, internalize homophobia, fear of love

Genre: Angst/Fluff

A/N: Im so sorry that this took forever, Ive been really busy with a lot of things recently. There are absolutely some spelling errors in here, and i sincerely apologize for that. also Beckendorf and Selina are alive because I say so >:)

Masterlist

All my life I’ve been told that I would find the perfect boy for me. My mother would always play dolls with me and in every game, the girl would always love the guy. Whenever I would hang out with my friends, our conversations would always divert to what boys we liked in our class. While my friends would giggle and fawn over the boys, I would sit and wonder why I couldn’t understand. And its not like I didn’t try. Every time I tried to convince myself of having a crush, I just couldn’t do it. But maybe I was just incapable of love. Im supposed to love a boy so if I cant, then I must be incapable. And that’s where I left it. For years.

When I got to camp, I thought maybe things would be different. maybe here would be the place where I couldn’t he boy that I loved. But it still never happened. But I was a kid of Hephaestus. Maybe that was why I couldn’t love. My dad had a hard time loving so maybe I did too. Thanks dad. But then I learned about my brother Beckendorf and his girlfriend Selena. So if it wasn’t my genes, then maybe it was just me. Maybe Iw as incapable of love. And maybe I just needed to be okay with that.

That was until Annabeth returned from the Dam with three new kids. Jason, the son of zeus. Leo, a new brother of mine. then Piper, a daughter of Aphrodite. I don't know what happened when I saw her but, something happened. She was so pretty, so beautiful. I sat next to her at the campfire to try and get to know her and she was great. she was funny and confident and pretty, she was really pretty. but she was dating Jason, which honestly I didn't blame her. he was conventionally attractive after all.

I left the campfire that night not noticing how I was blushing. how my heart fluttered and my stomach filled with butterflies/ maybe it was the adrenaline of making a new friend, someone I felt I really connected with. As time passed, me and Piper spent more and more time together. I considered her my best friend and I'm sure she felt the same. the only thing that set me off, I hadn't felt this way about anyone before, not even my closest friends before Piper. What was this feeling?

The truth hit me when the three left for their quest. When I was saying goodbye to Piper I gave her the biggest hug of my life.

"Please be safe Pipes, I don't want you coming home in shambles" I said worried as I continued to feel her around me.

"I'll try, I can't make any promises" she said playfully as she squeezed me back. I watched them leave and couldn't hide the worry on my face. My brother, Beckendorf, came to my side and rested his hand on my shoulder.

"I know that look, she'll be fine" his deep grumbly voice said to me. I looked at him with a puzzled look. "what look?" I asked him curiously.

He smiled back down at me and laughed before turning me and walking me back to the pavilion. "That look of when someone you love dearly is going off and you don't know if they'll be okay, but you just have to trust them. I know that look-" "He's worn it too many times" he was cutoff by his girlfriend Selina. They were the best relationship in camp. I pondered what he meant.

"Of course I care about Piper, she's my best friend" He looked at me like I was clueless. I kinda was cause I had no idea what he was talking about. I couldn't love Piper as more than a friend right? I was supposed to feel that for boys. Selina took me by the shoulders and walked me with her.

"let a love expert explain sweetie. You and my sister have a very special connection. You care about her, more than anything right?" I nodded at her as she sat us down on a bench. "why do you think that is?" "cause she's my closest friend?" she looked at me again and took a breath, mumbling something along the lines of "this is going to be harder than I thought" before clearing her throat and continuing.

"So y'know how me and your brother are dating?" I nodded again. "well, before that I felt a certain way for him and he did for me. I would always look forward to seeing him, I loved talking to him, he was my closest friend. Every time I though of him my heart felt fluttery and my stomach filled with butterflies. thats when I realized I loved him" I sat there and listened to her. It took me a moment and I realized, thats exactly how I felt for piper. Did I love Piper? could I even love another girl?

"But she's a girl...and I'm a girl...is that- is that allowed?" She looked at me shocked and gave me a reassuring smile. "Oh sweetie, it's more than okay. Why would you think not?" she asked me sincerely "my mom always told me that I could only date a boy... girls liked boys and boys liked girls" I said confused. She spoke up again, "well thats weather closed minded thinking isn't it?" I looked at the ground and pondered for a moment. Did I really love Piper?

After awhile I returned back to my cabin to think about it myself, at least thats how I framed it. I was actually really panicking. What did this even mean? What would my mom say? Is this why I never liked any boys from my school? How does Piper feel? Do I even like her or am I just kidding myself? This went on for almost two days.

I was sitting on my bed still pondering it when I heard the door open. It was my brother and Nico, Hades son. I knew Nico had a boyfriend but he was also from the 1920s so maybe thats why it was okay. Nico sat down on my bed and brought me into a conversation about it. Asking me how I felt for Piper and telling me what this all meant. It was all so scary, everything I've ever been taught by my mom about love was being rewritten before my eyes. By the end of it, I realized. I was in love with my best friend, and she was dating a guy.

When they returned I was the first one to run from the crowd and envelop her in a tight hug. She hugged me back and I looked at her. she was tried, exhausted, she had a few scars but she was still her.

"Oh my gods Im so happy you're safe you had no idea how worried I was about you" I said frantically once we stopped hugging "I'm happy you worry about me" she said with a small laugh.

A few days after they had returned, everyone had discussed everything. I eventually found out that Jason and Piper had broken up after they found out their whole relationship as basically built off a lie. I helped her a lot through this. I helped her find out who she was again and assured her that I would be there no matter who she decided to be with.

"Y'know Im really happy to hear that" Piper said to me as she continued to hold my hand on the bench. "Oh? and why's that?" I said with a small laugh. "Because I realized more about my feelings on that quest other than me and Jason being fake" she said kind of cautiously. I looked at her questioningly. I knew I loved her, but there wasn't a way that she loved me back the same way. But she grabbed my hand that was in hers and brought to her lips, giving my knuckled a soft kiss. I looked at her and knew. "Piper, I don't know what love means, it...it honestly kind of terrifies me.." I said looking from her to the ground with a soft blush across my face to match hers. She brought my gaze back to hers and pressed her forehead to mine "Ill be here when you figure it out" she said to m softly. In that moment, everything Id been told didn't matter. I loved her, and there wasn't a question to that.

A/n: Hi I know this isn't that good, honestly I didn't know how to fish it so this is the best your getting. In any case, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit

[saltpepperbeard]

I cant stop thinking about the end of episode 6, specifically the Stede and Ed of it all.

Just the look on Stede's face when he pulls Ed in kills me. I need to know everything in there, in words.

Also, what do you think wouldve happened if instinct hadnt taken over? Would they have actually talked it through (as a crew?) Or would Stede have just brushed over it again and Ed accept it?. This is pretty much the only time he tries to actually help stede like this.

Also, because im rambling, why doesnt Ed defend Stede properly when people insult him? does he think it just doesnt affect him or something?

Pardon the tardy answer on this one, anon! I was in the void, only to get decked upside the head by Leslie Jones once I crawled out of said void lol. BUT OKAY OKAY-

*rubs hands together like a fly*

This face absolutely kills me too. And I feel like it says so much without saying a word at all. I feel like it says, "I'm so happy and relieved to see you right now because the true torture of the night was seeing you get threatened." And, "I love you so much for checking up on me, but I don't have it in me to use words right now, and can't really express what I'm feeling any other way than through actions." And, "I'm so terrified after what just happened, but having you here is such a grounding force."

Like just...the glassy sheen to his eyes but the relief to his overall visage...Mr. Darby I'm billing you for damages <3 sdjksldls. I think he was just so so happy to see Ed in that moment, and so relieved to have him after nearly losing him again.

And as far as talking things through goes...I honestly feel like Stede still would have stayed clammed up. I have a feeling it would have been like how it was when he initially opened the door, ie Ed doing the talking/leading the conversation while Stede stays quiet. Maybe Ed sharing such deep feelings and vulnerability would have eventually pried his shell open and gotten him to express a few fears? But idk, because at the same time, Stede witnessed Ed's bathtub moment, and it didn't really shake any of his own personal walls.

I just think he has such a complicated thing going with his own self-image, masculinity, and trauma, that it would have been very very difficult for him to openly admit to pain/terror/etc etc—especially weakness. Especially the thing that earned him vitriol and stones and death threats. And especially not to the man he respects and looks up to so much.

And SPEAKING of which, in regard to your last question, I think Ed doesn't step in to defend him for two reasons. One, he's the protector against physical abuse, whereas Stede is the protector against verbal abuse. This lovely post here [x] explains it beautifully; "they're both protecting each other from the dangers they know." Ed acts very quickly if some sort of physical harm threatens Stede, whereas Stede acts very quickly if some sort of vitriol threatens Ed. Neither of them want the other to experience the pain they're so acclimated to, and subsequently are each other's defender from such.

And two, sort of along those lines, I don't think he recognizes the hurt that can come from it, just as Stede maybe doesn't recognize the hurt that can come from all the violence. Maybe he doesn't realize how deeply it has cut Stede, just as Stede doesn't really recognize how deeply violence has cut Ed. I don't know how to word this properly lol but like...they view what hurts the other as almost a non-issue.

You can see their varying reactions and differences a few times in episode 6 actually. When Ned is physically torturing them, Stede doesn't really react when Ed is burned, but Ed reacts strongly when Stede is burned. And when Ned is flinging vitriol about prior to the violence, Ed doesn't really react to it, but Stede scowls and fights against his restraints.

And then when they're on deck, Stede doesn't think to take cover when the attack is starting, but Ed immediately flings himself in front of him. And when Ned is trying to goad Ed into getting upset, Ed doesn't take the bait whatsoever, whereas Stede steps up and gets upset on his behalf.

Not to mention also, Stede being like "Haha escaping violence? Not bloody likely" the morning after. I know that's episode 7 lol, but my pOINT STILL STANDS. They both expect those things respectively—Ed expects insulting talk from other pirates, and Stede expects violence in their line of work, but they're actually rife with trauma for the two of them.

TLDR, they balance each other and ground each other so well, but imagine how much more they would if they shared all these deeper thoughts. I'm still holding out hope that Stede will have his bathtub moment in season 3, or even just show a lick of vulnerability around Ed. Maybe the domesticity/concept of marriage will scare him enough into opening up a bit more/talking things through, or even just settling into a more mature relationship with Ed will give him the grounds to do so.

REGARDLESS, they are just a broth that's....*Roach voice* beautiful, complicated, balanced...

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

That. That post you made about comparing satoru & suguru to a puppy and a wolf, the way they pretend to be the opposite of what they are. You have awoken something inside of me and filled my brain with thoughts. I NEED to expand on it WALK WITY ME WALK WITH ME

Satoru and suguru who are both protective but in vastly different ways- satoru who I think easily uses his reputation as “the strongest” to make sure his partner doesn’t get anywhere even close to being in danger, who the public knows is strong, and that’s pretty much all he needs. Who’s tall, who’s got an intimidating stare, he’s outwardly terrifying when he wants to be. There’s no question to it, when he wants to, he could scare anyone away.

And then there’s suguru. He isn’t gojo by any means, and he’s not got quite the same loud, confident and sort of endearingly arrogant demeanour that satoru does- but what he does have is a sort of mysterious danger about him that is almost if not more scary than gojo and his status. He’s all gentle and calm, a true carer to his partner, and he’s the last person you would expect to have a bite. But he does. And the fact you can’t outwardly tell, the fact that he’s no bark and all bite as soon as someone decides to push their luck- I feel like that’s what makes him so much more intimidating if he needs to be. If you look past the usually laid back facade he puts on for the world, you could absolutely see a sort of feral, burning desire to keep people close to his heart safe. With gojo you KNOW what you’re fucking around with. And to fuck with gojo or someone he truly cares for, you’ve gotta be an idiot. But the fact that you’re pretty much walking into the unknown when you wanna mess with suguru- IM SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM I SWEAR…. (I’m not. I’m deeply in love with him SOMEONE SEDATE ME RIGHT NOW)

ANON MY BELOVED THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD i agree so much. this is literally it.

honestly u phrased this so well that i barely know what to add U GET THEM…. i think both of them are sooooo protective but sugu is without question the more terrifying one. ”no bark and all bite” is the PERFECT description; the bite is so unexpected and terrifying precisely because there’s no bark to hint at it. he hides his fangs so well that you forget he even has them.

gojo can be absolutely terrifying too, but like you said — that’s to be expected. everyone knows satoru has fangs. he never bothers to hide them. he’s always smiling, smiling, smiling — and when that smile drops you know you fucked up.

but suguru? suguru is so good at hiding his anger that you miss it if you aren’t careful. i’ve always thought that his smile is the key to really understanding him, and i think that in this case it’s his smile that reveals his anger. you can push him and push him and then suddenly his smile has no warmth to it left, and if you push after that then the fangs peek out. but his smile is so cold and such a glaring warning that barely anyone crosses that line, so it really is like walking into the unknown.

and anon!! ”a feral, burning desire to keep people close to his heart safe” is such a good way of putting it. the desire itself is so loving but he is just so devoted that it might as well be a wildfire. i think it eats him alive. i think that he’d rather set himself on fire than fail to keep you safe. genuinely.

anyway in conclusion i think suguru is the scarier one by far LMAO imagine pushing his buttons all day and then looking up and hes just :)…….. i would fall to my knees. i would fold immediately.

[dabiscrustyfeet]

Hi, I really liked what you wrote. Can you do the reaction of the brothers when they learn that their children are harassed because of his half human blood? The little one didn't want to say anything, ashamed of being weak when they were their children.

Awww this is such a cute post thank u for requesting my love

(Im so sorry it took so long)

The sins find out their kid was harassed because they have half human blood

Lucifer

First of all

How dare people harass his child

No seriously – you have a death wish

Second of all

His child ain’t weak just because they have half human blood

They are stronger than most demons mkay

So y’all hurting them is 1: a death wish 2: idiocy and 3: he will tell his child to beat yo ass once they get a grip of their power

So when his kid comes to him looking upset – oh he knows and he’s not happy

The kiddo was about to say some lame ass excuse and he cuts them off

‘You know you’re not weak right? You’re still young, your power will grow, okay dear?’

As soon as his kid says ‘aren’t you ashamed that i couldn’t defend myself ?’

Bruh– he’s looking at his kid like 👁👄👁

He’s offended– you think he’s ashamed?

Staring at his kid like they grew three heads

‘No i am not ashamed’ honestly said it with so much finality you’d have thought he was in an argument

Obviously he needs to make his kid feel better so [insert very soft dad lucifer comforting his child]

And when the his pride and joy [his kid, if you didn’t realise] fell asleep

He decided to ready the not so secret torture chamber in the basement

He had a few guests coming over

Mammon

Oof- i feel sorry for whoever hurt this mans kid

First off, mammon has a soft spot for kids; he has a nine year old to look after and pays child support for and he absolutely adores luke

Second off, you thought lucifer and beel were scary when it comes to protecting their family if someone hurt them

Well, mammon is terrifying

So, mammon is minding his business, ya know, doing things the avatar of greed does

And his kid has come home and goes straight to their room

And mammon was kinda hyper fixated on some shit, so obviously, levi pops in the guys room and tells him his kid is home

Now you have mammon running to his kid to ask them about their day

And he hears them sobbing, face down on their bed Disney style

Now mammon is very concerned

‘Whats wrong?’ He asked his kid

They kinda cry harder, so mammon holds them close, as he did with his brothers once

Once they calm down they tell mams what happened and they’ve been hurt and they think he’s ashamed

He pretty much shuts down the idea just like lucifer has cuz uno: he loves his kid dos: he ain’t ashamed , and he loves them and tres: they’re his kid, so they will be powerful in due time

You and i both know that mammon is the best at controlling his anger, and he’d rather comfort his child than commit a felony

But don’t you think he forgotten oh no he hasn’t

After a few days of regaining the child’s happiness, and they are better than ever

Thats when he strikes

With the help of his crows, he manages to locate them bitches who put the idea that his kid is weak cuz they have half human blood in their head

And lets say that those hoes are now resting in pieces

There is a reason why mammon is the second strongest avatar

Do not underestimate his power

Leviathan

Levi was watching tsl for the umpteenth time

Annd he got bored, so he decided to see if his kid was back home

He likes watching anime with them, i mean it does get boring alone sometimes

He saw them walk out the door, and he ran to ask if they wanna play a game or something

And his kid be like ‘🥲 sure’

Levi is bamboozled and would like an explanation

He wants to know why they look like that

Like who hurt you? Why you upset 🤨

The kid tries to lie or some shit

Babes. Levi is the grand admiral for a reason

🎶Why you lying why you always lying🎶

Once he got the truth out of his kid this mans envy comes out

‘Its not fair, they shouldn’t treat you like this– don’t they know that you’re my kid? How dare they hurt you?!’

And now he’s holding his kid close to him : a way to prevent him from flooding the house

Which also meant that he unknowingly turned into his demon form, meaning his tail is also hugging his kid

I mean what else do you expect with a tail get your head out the gutter

Now once he calmed down, he reassured his kid that ‘these fucktards were jealous of you, that you are powerful and who cares if youve got half human blood?🤨 you can still beat their asses no problem’

He’s out here making them think of all the things they could do to those harassers once their power increases

Unfortunately this kid also does watch whatever anime they have over there with levi, meaning they are cultured

They read and watched death note, so now we have a little light yagami waiting for their power to awaken

Levi doesn’t have to do much to the harassers really

You thought Lotan was huge?

The Leviathan makes Lotan look like a butterfly

Satan

Oh satan, satan, satan

Damn

I don’t even know what to say

This man was doing his daily things

Read a book, check on the cats, read a book, check on the cats, go to the cat cafe, read a book

You get the point

Satan is already a whole menace on his own

Imagine him and his kid together

They wreck shit together, be cynical together, prank lucifer together, hunt down assholes together

They’re basically best friends

This kid, being a lot like satan, doesn’t cry easily

So imagine the shock when satan comes home from petting some stray cats

His menace of child- crying while reading a book

So he asks them whats the matter

‘Who do i need to defenestrate?’

So kid is like ‘ah no nothing is wrong this book is just sad’

Decent excuse that satan actually bought

So he decides to sit with them to comfort them, yanno

Sometimes books can be depressing

Until he reads the front cover

Which reads ‘Heidi’

Sure some parts are sad, but boi it is not enough for you to cry

So he’s a little confused

‘Are you lying?’

‘No’ they say while not giving eye contact

Lies.

How does he know?

He just does

‘You’re lying. What happened ?’

Obviously, they end up fessing up how they feel like satan is ashamed and how they are weak cuz of the human blood in them

Cue angry satan noises

Like levi, he got mad for his kid

You know them little book towers in his room

That shit went tumbling down

Hoes very mad

So ✨reassurance time✨

After the child is happy, feeling better, he goes on a rampage

Massive rampage

He uses his connections and all

Made use of everything he has

Some point he roped lucifer’s own connections in

Nobody can escape the wrath of Satan

Asmodeus

The last thing anyone should be doing is insulting his kid

Ik his child is taught self love from a young age

Anyone who tries to make his kid self loathe ends up on the blacklist

Asmo’s kid is obviously real confident in almost everything

So imagine the shock of asmo when he sees his kid bawling their eyes out with a tub of ice cream in their lap

Now this kid normally cries dramatically and makes it known

But they hid away in asmos room, all is not well.

We now have an avatar of sin fretting over his kid, wiping tears and shit ya know

And asks what the matter is

So when asmo hears what comes out of his kids mouth, he goes haywire

About to go crazy

But keeps it in

Asmodeus inhales and exhales, to calm himself down

‘Darling, your my child, and you are a thousand times more powerful than those idiots. How about we have a bath and watch some movies, hmm?’

Is what he says

Since his kid absolutely hates violence (they find it a waste of time) , he cant really say what he about to do

So he decides to leave the matter till later and chooses to comfort the kid ( while also finding out about who made his kid upset)

And asmo manages to locate them hoes who hurt his kid

He may not like getting his hands dirty but he sure as hell will do it for his child

He is a ruler of hell after all

Beelzebub

Whoever hurt this mans kid is daft

Anyways

His child was found outside gardening

And beel was passing by till he hears his child speaking to the plants

‘Maybe they think that will make the plants grow, cute’

Or so he thought

My guy came closer and heard the poor kid crying to the plants saying shit like ‘im a disgrace’

So he scoops them up in his arms and holds them close.

He decides to distract them and calm them down, drink some water and the cookie he had ( he trying his best)

Among the things that he shows the child is his demon form

The child was always fascinated with the sound of his wings

The soft buzz of his wings calmed them down, and their cheeks was stuffed of the cookies, looking very much like a hamster

Beel asks them of why they were crying and it turns out that they thought he was ashamed of them being a half blood

Which is an idea that ya boy shut down completely

We all know that beel is quite blunt with what he says, and so he asked them who put the idea in his head

When the tell him the kids names, he quite frankly says ‘they don’t amount to anything if they find happiness in hurting others feelings - don’t think much of them too much okay, they wont bother you anymore’

Damn right they didnt

Because they were dead

What can i say? His stomach is bottomless pit, he may as well make use of it

Belphegor

Now, why would you do that?

What possessed you to target Belphegor’s child?

The kid of the homicidal maniac

The kid of the man who is insane

The kid of a guy who strangled you

Clearly you haven’t thought this through

So the child is up in the attic, in a corner, sulking

We all know that belphie has problems, but these problems are set aside to see what is going on with his kid

Belphegor just sits there, next to the child, and pulls them to his lap, stroking the kids hair-hes being very wholesome at the moment

After a few minutes, the kid has their tension eased from their shoulders, feeling very calm after all

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ is what belphie asks

He knew the second the kid stilled in his lap something has happened

Surprisingly, he tries to coax the kid into telling him what happened, but like also saying they don’t need to tell him if they don’t want to

We all know he a nosy prick and he definitely wants to know

The second he finds out, the temperature in the attic drops

However, he acts like all is well and continues humming a lullaby to his kid

If the lullaby was a sleeping spell in disguise, the child will never know

After the kid falls asleep and belphie tucks them to bed, he leaves the room and decides to take a stroll outside to calm his nerves

Once he felt very calm he decides to go back home

Lets say his efforts of trying not to cause murder went down the drain

Why, you may ask?

Its because he saw them dudes who thought they could make his kid feel bad about themselves

Now, I like to think belphegor has some sort of hypnotic power, whether to immobilise someone or to make them sleep, he has it

His voice is soft and sweet, a melody of its own kind

The people seem to answer; their bodies moving towards an alleyway, eyes glazed over

Belphegor stalks by, and the song he sings starts increasing in tempo, danger screams in the hearts of the hypnotised demons

The melody stops to an abrupt halt

The demons wake up from what they thought was a slumber, and they see-

They see the avatar of sloth looming over them, in all his glory

They do not what they have done to invoke the wrath of the youngest

…

They are liars

They knew whose child that was, yet they didn’t care for the whispers of disbelief around them, nor did they care for the consequences

So, now they, the demons, pressed against the wall of the dark alleyway, lay there

Eyes glazed over, hands squeezing their necks, living through their worst nightmares

Those whispers of disbelief these unfortunate demons heard were warnings

The Avatar of Sloth, who looking down on the with pure ecstasy, is truly a monster

Why??

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

yes a thousand percent absolutely lets go

(firstly i am sorry my post put anyone to a point of feeling the need to apologize for or feel bad for being Very Into Leo’s character. as someone who is flagrantly Very Into Raph’s character, i promise i wasn’t trying to throw a stone in this glass house. i’ve gotten burnt out on a lot of fanon leo stuff but part of why im so !!!! about it is bc i too love leo’s characterization and potential.. i swear

catch me catching my brain and tone malfunctions behind dennys later, sorry again gang)

BUT YE I’LL TALK ABOUT MOVIE RAPH STUFF TO MY BEST CAPACITY ALL DAY

overall i honestly... totally get raph being hard to get a handle on in this respect. like it’s pretty difficult to pick where to start and how to express it even just in an informal tumblr analysis post, i still haven’t managed to put together any kind of fic myself LMAO. bear with me i will do my best!

so firstly there’s just the veritable gauntlet of “stuff raph experienced/was dealing with in the span of the movie” to consider, i think. 

- his fear and anxiety over his family’s safety, for which he always always feels personally responsible. when he called the retreat during that first fight with the krang, he was absolutely terrified-- and i can only imagine how much scarier it was after leo bailed on the escape pod. like, there’s no way raph was not hauling ass after leo the second he saw that happen.

= he takes a hit for leo, as in just barely stops it and loses a chunk of shell/plastron in the process. he sacrifices himself using his pod to get leo out of there safely (and there’s so much to be said about the fact that raph’s pod seems to be the only one that didn’t auto-activate. that only he and donnie seemed to know they even existed. there’s a whole talk they must have had right there, like raph would probably have had to ask specifically for this feature.)

- the krang try to intimidate answers out of him about the key, and when that doesn’t get them those answers, prime literally jams tentacles into his brain and roots around until he can find what they’re looking for. so that’s one bullet point on the list for outright mental violation. it looks/sounds very painful, not to mention terrifying. 

^^ and honestly, this point of suffering in particular is one that i think would be hardest for raph to actually bring up/talk about with his family. because none of them were there. none of them KNOW. and how do you explain that to them? how do you try to make yourself break that out when they’re already worried about the other stuff that happened to you and to everyone else? when part of you is guilty about it despite yourself, because so much of your identity is tied into being a protector that you can’t help but feel like you should have been able to wall that info off somehow and keep your family safe?

- gets infected by the krang and put into the big gross pod to... incubate, i guess? there’s so much unanswered about the point between brain torture and getting found by his family tbh. was he conscious and aware of being left alone in there? was that why he was so out of it even before the mutation?

- and then of course there’s said painful, grotesque body horror forced krang mutation that he has to go through once he’s out of the pod! thanks i hated it! like it seriously looks so gross and painful.

- ah yes and the mind control... being used as a tool and a puppet and specifically set out to hurt or even kill the family he loves and wants to protect. 

- the standard “we had our cool epic boss fight against the evil alien but he kicked our asses with one flick and then punched mikey and donnie all the way to staten island” physical roughage, too. leo portaled him after mikey and donnie so he could catch them. donnie took the brunt of the krang punch, and raph took the brunt of the hard landing (he is holding his side like he might have some rib issues, they all look rough af down there phew)

- leo’s sacrifice is leo’s sacrifice and definitely a leo development moment as an action itself, i’m never gonna say 'yep here’s how leo getting brutalized in prison dimension is all about raph’. i’m talking about the like, aftermath and pre-rescue emotional toll that that has etc etc etc. ftr.

point one there is obviously just the grief. like, raph is literally incapable of standing when it hits. he’s on all fours, he can’t open his eyes. i made a post comparing the caps of raph’s face getting stabbed and raph’s face when it was sinking in that leo was (apparently) Gone gone bc the expressions are nearly identical. like just. absolute agony. 

- and on top of that, i sincerely think that leo’s “you’re one to talk, hero moves are totally your thing” apparent last words are gonna stick with raph for a very long time. even after they save leo. the look on his face after leo says that... man. i think there’s a very real moment of raph going what have i done, what did i teach him? about the entire situation.

the way this is already tl;dr oh well SO IG SOME OF MY GENERAL TAKEAWAYS AND THINGS I THINK ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO POST-MOVIE RAPH:

first and foremost. rip raph sufferer of some of the most intense eldest child syndrome i’ve ever seen. he feels bad that he got used to get his family’s location. he feels bad that he got used to harm and nearly kill his family. he probably feels bad that leo feels bad that his shell is damaged, smh. it’s guilt all the way down. the kind where he knows logically his family does not want or need apologies, that getting controlled was literally not his fault, but he feels bad anyway.

and like i said i get how it’s hard to get a handle on him for stuff, because raph is also... not super good at the emotional vulnerability sharing? it’s so wild because he’s very openly emotional and easy to read! he’ll cry during a sad movie scene and yell at a frustrating video game no problem, he’s very straightforward! but when it comes to sincere vulnerability and actually seeking comfort/closure about it, he has a big struggle vibe. good luck to the entire family bc every single brother is gonna be in a “oh but everyone else already has so much to deal with i don’t wanna pile more on with my problems” zone, i think. 

also just like. raph is a protector. that’s one of the core pillars of his sense of identity and worth. he takes care of his brothers. he keeps his family safe. and so so so much of what he went through or experienced in the movie went directly against that. raph, the big brother, the beating heart of the team, the one who takes hits, the overprotective mother hen, gets used to track down his family, and then gets used to hurt them. very nearly gets used to kill leo outright. isn’t there to take the hit for leo again at the end of the movie, is helpless as his little brother seemingly sacrifices his life to save them and the world. how does he come to terms with that? how does he feel like he still deserves the trust and faith that his family puts in him to keep being a rock? (they’re not scared of him, but he’s scared of him.)

and for real seriously how does he ever ever get around to dealing with that brain probe and the mutation specifically. his mind and his bodily autonomy got so deeply violated in the process of this movie. it’s scary! and painful! what kind of scenario would a writer even have to rig up to back him into enough of a corner to share those feelings with his family (who would absolutely want to comfort and support him)! it’s nightmarish stuff that’s gonna linger with him for the rest of his life. 

and in fact on the mutuation/mind control. i think the fact that leo was able to get through to raph just with words, that that was how he managed to break through the control, maybe means that raph was aware of what he was being made to do all along and just. unable to pull enough strength together to stop it before that point. woof.

idk idk if any of this makes real sense or helps for getting a handle on raph’s character at all tbh, it’s just a lot of me nonsensically putting him in a jar with a leaf and a stick for scientific observation ig. if ppl wanna hit me w questions or discussions about my personal opinions on my favorite boi feel free tbh

maybe the real raph character analysis was the hug and nightmare-free nap he probably desperately needs all along....... ah its too late hes dissociating on the couch. relatable.

[flutteringfable]

OKAY SO!! DEAD PLATE IS REALLY GOOD AND IM HERE TO RAMBLE ABOUT IT. SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY LMAO

(all excitement aside, this game is best experienced blind imo! its free on itch, and there's no jumpscares [in case thats an issue for u like it is for me lolz]. there is tons of gore (mostly blood with very few organs), so please heed the warnings on the game page if that bothers u!)

okay ive talked about this before, but the art style is just soso gorgeous. the characters are so distinct and expressive, and even the npcs are beautifully designed. the art is, dare i say, tasty ;3

rody is literally the definition of a golden retriever boy (even to a fault!) and i adore his character so much. he's just a silly little guy trying to do his best but also he should really take some time to care for himself like manon suggested :(

vincent is also fantastic, i love that he warms up to rody if you continue talking to him, it's really sweet if you uh. ignore the horrors...

no jumpscares but GOD this game is fantastic at building a sense of dread. when the music cut out during the house party bit, i genuinely got nervous. manon's ghost (i assume) being in vince's window was also terrifying and honestly scared me so bad i hesitated to put my headphones back on lmao. i do love the lack of jumpscares, but that might just be my cowardice talking ahaha

u can feed the rat cheese but then vince feeds u the rat :(

i got the normal ending on my first go (as i assume most people do), and when manon didn't pick up when rody called her i knew immediately that she was the steak that you get at the end of that sequence. it felt really rewarding to find out that was true in the "best served hot" ending!!

"a dead plate" HAHAHAHAHAHA JUST LIKE THE NAME OF THE GAME (seconds later: oh god this is the manon steak)

the description of the plate changing to "the love of my life" actually hurt a little, ouch

when i had to go back to the freezer to get the ending where rody dies, i audibly went "haiii vincenttt" when he showed up lmao

when i first saw vincent bite rody, i thought he bit his neck and went "oh haha hot"

a few lines of dialogue later, i stood corrected lmaoo

finding out that vince doesnt actually like serve human meat at the restaurant was pretty interesting to hear! i like that take on the trope, because normally its more akin to games like bonnie's bakery where the food youre serving to customers IS customers lmao

learning how rody felt about manon made me super sad, esp after the post credit scene where she breaks up with him. again, i agree with her. bro needs some serious self care and needs to learn that its ok to care for himself too :(

uhhhhh vincent casual outfit hot. i mean what who said that

the normal food rewards you get for completing each day look absolutely incredible, esp the desserts

overall, just an amazing experience that i'm so happy to have done blind. not knowing what was next made it a lot more fun for me and i might give it a go again in the future! i have a few more horror rpg style games saved on my itchio that ive been meaning to try out :3

[raw-law]

This ask is just for Light so L , plug your ears and walk outta the room for a second.

Light , I'm struggling with some personal things in my life right now. I just graduated College with my Sociology and Psychology degrees, because I wanna help the world out . I've tried so many different things and i wanna pursue a career in public speaking to help spread awareness about things Im passionate about, butI feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm scared that I won't amount ti anything and my life doesn't have any meaning. I have one friend who supports me and tries to help me , but even that isn't enough.

Something that I wanna partake in somewhat is the Kira movement, but in times past when I did try I received death threats and had someone dox me because they didn't like my veiws about certain things. It's made my anxiety about never being enough intensify ans now I'm question my life.

Idk what to do . I know it's not your fault , but I'm scared that the movment will turn into another major religion full of hate and hurt. I know I can only do so much, but I don't like that feeling. I wanna see the movement thrive , but I'm terrified to do anything.

Im sorry of this is to much, I just needed to vent.

-Tenshi Fukui

Light:

Honestly, my opinion is that you should take a step back, and also a break from what you're doing.

Sometimes, when you give yourself too much personal stress about something, it's good to rest and give yourself some time to think about if you still want to continue with what you're doing, or if you want to stop. Burnout is real, and there's no one way to tackle it, but I find that resting does improve mental health pretty much across the board.

I understand that you have a passion for helping people? That's a good thing, but you should also learn to take care of yourself and do everything in moderation, taking care not to be too passionate about a subject.

That's all I've got for you now. Thanks for asking, and I do appreciate your efforts. Just remember to take a break.

L:

ears closed, mic muted. whatever light said, i probably agree with it. i'm just posting it for him.

[safetycar-restart]

🏍 anon here ive been mia sorry about that. So lots happened in that motogp trippple header, not even sure where to begin

Enea returned! So we've talked dom au with him, after enea truly had a race again did he and his dom just celebrate in a really soft so to say way considering what injuries he still probably had? Like sure sex was most definitly had but can also see post race shower where the dom washes his hair and then after takes care of the hair and pets it? Just happy enea with so much trust?

Bezz is mostly just chilling with his fellow alpha and being a emotional support alpha that he is. He's done very well so perhaps the academy organises a night away for bezz and his love?

Fabio and Marc is both pretty much ouch. Like im not even sure what to write but in a dom au there dom would be telling the respective team to not contact them until next race in like a month and just take care of them. So much softness and comfort and def some sex. Cant remember if we've explored bondage for either, but think it could fit here.

Hope youre having a fabuloys time and give a shout if its any motogp rider i miss on asking about that you want to talk about

I received this ask as i about to write a post reminding everyone that i write for motogp so this timing was fucking PERFECT. I love all these thoughts and you discussed everyone i love talking about!!

ENEA:

I definitely agree that the celebrations would be more soft than anything else. Honestly i think he would mostly just be relieved he's still able to ride? Part of him believed that he'd simply not be able to ride again, and no amount of reassurance could help him with that.

So yeah, it's very soft.

We also said how shocked Enea would be that you actually came back with him and stayed with him throughout his rehab. He thought he would only get to be with his team dom when he's riding again.

This meant that by the time he did get back to motogp, you two are a proper team. He loves and trusts you so so much and he's so thankful so have a dom this kind and caring.

You're so soft with him after races, especially because he's so tired and sore. You mostly just hold him close, sometimes soft sex and always lots and lots of head pats.

I think enea loves being able to switch off after a race? In fact he likes to do that at the end of every day at race weekends? He just falls into you and lets you take care of him, nice and soft.

(Harder scenes do happen too of course, but never on race weekends)

BEZZ:

I NEARLY FORGOT ABOUT OUR POLY!VR46!! For anyone new or needing a reminder: we said that Marco is basically the emotional support alpha of the Academy riders as the rest are all omegas. He helps them through heats and joins nests and he's just so so loved.

But then he meets you, another alpha, and fuck he loves you? He doesn't care that you're an alpha too, he's just so happy. And when the academy meet you, rather than being jealous about you taking bezz from them, they all collectively go 'mine' and now they have TWO emotional support alphas. (i love this verse please send me more on it)

Anyway, Bezz did so well this triple header!! Naturally he gets all the kisses and cuddles from the entire pack. And of course you're there too! I definitely think that the day of his podiums, the entire pack is there because their emotional support alpha did well and so he must be cuddled!!

But then the next day, they absolutely leave you and bezz alone and insist that you two spend some time together. And because they're all little shits, they make you two a nest in your hotel room and leave snacks and condoms on the bedside table.

FABIO:

I'm gonna do the d/s au here.

Firstly, Yamaha fears for their life. They are fucking terrified of you. All of them wince whenever you walk past because they know you're sub is sad because of them.

I think you just had to be very soft with Fabio during the triple header because he was on the brink of a meltdown and literally ANY form of disapproval from you would have sent him over the edge. You just needed to be there for him, offering him praise and cuddles and comfort.

So the moment the summer break starts, you just take Fabio away from it all. I think you'd do a lot of intense scenes with him? Bondage and edging and long term denial and pain play. He spends entire days in subspace, letting you handle everything and finally properly resting.

Maybe you let him wear his collar 24/7, not just in scenes? And when the break is over... he just wants to carry on wearing the collar.

MARC:

I think for marc it's about letting him have fun during the break? Like actual, real fun? Movie nights and picnics and road trips and beach days and so much more.

You kept up a strict regime of intense scenes throughout the triple header, because marc functions SO much better when he's regularly in a deep subspace but now it's the summer break and while he of course still needs his dom, he also needs to be reminded that things can just be enjoyable?

[bubblingstream]

been wanting to make another warriors blog for a while but i finally caved after writing up stuff about my new ocs and not knowing where to post it. im just copypasting this directly from an info dump i made so it's not extremely well organised LMAO but here are said OC ideas :]] im probably gonna spend quite a bit of time on this blog just building on them and drawing them tbh. that's the plan anyway

so imagine a cat becomes a medicine cat apprentice, and when they finally go to meet starclan at the moonpool instead of like.. awe, wonder, admiration etc. this idea of all powerful godly ancestors that can apparently predict fate and maybe even control it according to some cats, and watches them constantly.. fucking TERRIFIES this cat. like he is absolutely shitting his pants level afraid and he becomes gradually extremely paranoid about it all. he tries to keep doing the medicine cat stuff but eventually begs his leader to let him just become a warrior to try and get away from it as much as possible. and it helps but not.. a lot? hes still afraid and struggling.

it also turns out he's also had a pretty rough lot in life up til now, which doesnt help bc if these starclan cats control everything why has he suffered so much? what did he do to deserve it? bad things continues to happen and he questions it more and more. he feels like hes watched constantly and even like hes being punished for something he did, even though he doesnt know what his crime actually was. this makes things even worse.

at some point because of all this he runs off maybe? but he misses his family and clan and he also feels watched still no matter where he goes. and maybe something horrible happens to someone he cares for while hes gone and he blames himself for it because he left and thinks starclan decided to hurt his loved ones for it. so he becomes afraid to even leave the clans and doesnt attempt to run away again.

mind you, in the meantime starclan hasnt caused ANY of this. the things that happen are unfortunate coincidences. but he has no idea and after actually seeing what to clan cats basically counts as God Himself™️ hes a wreck. the books always show meeting starclan as a positive experience but i feel like it's something youd need at least some level of willpower for. youd need the right mindset. not just anyone can become a medicine cat and communicate with their ancestors. it's a big deal and some cats ,id think, just wouldnt be able to do it.

hes called whisperingstorm, he has a littermate called bubblingstream. his mother had other litters so he has many siblings but that's the one he knows best and grew up with. he also has an older brother maybe. dovesomething im thinking. bubbling has his own set of issues but im still figuring out how to make that work. another litter in his family is two more kits who are gonna have matching names, this serves to contrast bubbling and whispering who have conflicting names (they have rather different personalities but they also just. dont get along despite bubblings initial efforts to bond with whispering). bubbling as in excitable and upbeat, then when he grew up stream became his suffix bc hes actually rather.. not that basically. yknow how when ppl picture streams they see a calm, gentle stream that some would consider a relaxing visual? like that, as well as their family having a water/weather theme to their names. hes quiet and slow worded, not much to say. compare whispering, something quiet and soft, then when he got older his suffix became storm because of his explosive, high energy and honestly aggressive personality. so not only do they oppose each other in personality, their birth names themselves wouldve better suited them if theyd been swapped around as those are juxtapositions as well. whispering is loud and aggressive, bubbling is quiet and softspoken.

the reason whispering and bubbling dont get along is cause.. well, whispering is a prick, to be blunt. but hes like this as an active attempt to push people away bc of trust issues. he cares a lot about bubbling, he just also thinks anyone being close to him = him inflicting his 'bad luck'/'curse' (see: STARCLAN IS OUT TO GET ME) on others.

eventually it works and bubbling gives up trying to support his brother for his own sake because whispering goes anywhere from mildly mean to downright verbally abusive trying to get bubbling to go away and the guy cant really keep dealing with that. and whispering hates himself for it but he got what he aimed for so.. yeah.

not sure where im going next with this but i want. drama. but not murder. none of them are gonna be murdery. it's a very family issues and trauma and mental health kind of theme i want going on here. yeah someone will probably die bc that's just kinda a given in the clans but not from killing. i can enjoy warriors ocs that go and kill cats for one reason or another but between them and canon i want something different for once, and this is what i want to create to achieve that. plus running off somewhere and coming back to find out, say, a family member died of greencough or something? it's harder to pin a blame on anything material there. as opposed to a cat from a different clan outright killing them in battle or something.

this is where my blog url came from as you can all guess lol. that's all for now while i finalise things like the names of their other siblings, make solidified designs and come up with more stuff.

[goremet-chef]

tw for death i just need to get these thoughts out of my head for now

so, my great grandma passed away the other day. i dont feel like i deserve any "sorry for yr loss" shit cuz like.. truth be told i didnt like her that much. she was an old conservative white woman, im sure you know what i mean by that. i used to have to leave the living room to go cry in the bathroom cuz ofthe shit she said about trans people

she didnt know i was trans so maybe if she did it wouldve been different, but regardless

shes dead now, and im just. really dissociated tbh. and a little sad. and a little angry

its just. i mean it sounds so stupid to say "oh death is traumatic for me" because death is traumatic for pretty much everyone i think? its scary. terrifying. and you can never outrun it, no matter what

i mentioned this in a different post, but my fear of death started INCREDIBLY early, like no kid should be scared thinking about that stuff but i was. and i asked her specifically after having a dream where she was like. brutally murdered, i asked her if she was going to die soon and she laughed a little and said no

i was only a little kid back then but it. i dont know how to describe this. knowing that the answer has changed is so... suffocating. death catches up with everyone and every time it proves that in my life i just get more and more stressed

and i mean, i cant lie. i know i didnt like her but i used to. i used to really love her, and i know she really loved me. i was her favorite, im pretty sure. this still hurts. i dont think i deserve any condolences or whatever cuz. i hadnt seen her for a whole year, up until recently. i purposefully stayed home and away instead of visiting cuz i just didnt like being around someone like her. that hasnt changed, but im still glad i got to see her one last time. i saw her apparently 2 days before she died, which is traumatic on its own

my brain has such a hard time processing the.. finality of it. she told me she liked my hair and how it was shorter and it felt good. when we left cuz her morphine was kicking in and she was out of it, i hugged her and told her i loved her, and she said she loved me too. her voice was quiet and whispery, honestly. weak, yknow how it is. she had lung cancer, idk why its always cancer

its scary to have my relatives slowly dropping dead one by one. like.. my family is getting smaller, isnt that terrifying? i dont know how to handle this. i know its a long ways away but my mind is just.. waiting with bated breath for when it takes my nana, and my grandma, and my mom, my siblings. etc

ive tried so hard to come to terms with this thing and it. its all for nothing because no matter how i look at it, no matter the optimism or the peace or WHATEVER, im still terrified of it. its natural, it happens to everyone, every single living thing on this planet will die eventually. its so scary, i dont want to die. i dont want the people i love to die, but its not like i get a say in it

now shes gone, the last moments i spent with her are like.. haunting my brain. and i feel GUILT, especially. i think i was valid in not wanting to see her for so long, i dont feel particularly guilty for that. but i feel guilty that even after all that time, she still loved me. i guess im glad she never knew how i really felt about her

whats even worse? the other day, im assuming the day she died, i overheard my mom talking to her on the phone

and it was like.. idk it made me sick? hearing my mom telling her in this like.. not nonchalant but. not how someone whos grandma is dying real time would sound id imagine. her telling her that shes gotta spread her wings, and go meet grandpa, and watch over us

i dont know if she was dead when my mom said it or not, or maybe she was fading then and there, but. it made me so sad. what if she could hear? i guess she probably wouldnt, the drugs made her very.. gone. but like. if she could, the last thing she wouldve heard was someone telling her shes going to die

how terrifying is that? im still stuck up on that. if i was dying would my mom say something like that to me? i dont wanna think about it

it makes me mad, though

i guess she died on call with my mom but. no one mentioned anything about it until today, and i had to go out of my way to literally ASK if she was dead

why do they keep doing this to me? i have a fucking right to know. they did it with artemis too. when my grandmas cat got put down cuz of her heart failure, NO ONE told me until a few days later when my sibling was like "did you hear about artemis?" and my heart sank cuz.. thats never a good thing to hear and they were like "yeah idk why nobody told you? but grandma put her down"

i still havent really processed her death, i fell back on escapism and dissociation, i dont know if im ready for that yet

why wouldnt you tell me? why dont i have the right to know? why dont they tell me anything anymore, my bedroom is right next to yours

its so frustrating. even if it hurts me, LET IT hurt me. let me grieve and mourn, its what im supposed to do. i cant tell if its a sheltering thing or if they genuinely just. feel like it doesnt matter to tell me or not. its so upsetting man

[plantdaddy3]

The Arcana Julian x Magician Apprentice fic

The apprentice is pretty pissed that Julian is lying to everyone about killing the count. While the trial is in recess, they have some things to say to him. Though, they could never be angry enough to make him possible to resist… not that he can resist either. MC needs to prove to Julian that they can do this together.

Takes place after the murder trial in julian’s route has taken place, but before the verdict is given. I think this piece will be the first in a series of “Places I think Julian and my OC should’ve banged but the game is 12+”:p

The apprentice should be written gender neutral! Have fun with your OCs:)

!Mature! There is detailed smut in this. Viewer discretion advised!

Also! Im considering writing a follow up fic to this one where Julian returns the favor;) so let me know if y’all want that!

My steps echo through the dungeon as I walk down the cobblestone stairs. Angry tears threaten my eyes as I approach the cell that held the moronic man I’d been so unfortunate to fall in love with.

I nod to the guard who opened the cell and step inside. “Can you please give us a moment,” I request, never taking my piercing stare off of his pale eyes. By the look on his face, he knows he’s in trouble.

“I’m sorry, magician. The Countess said it was not safe for you to be left alone with him. I am to stay at my post in case something happens.”

“Oh, believe me. I’m not the one you should be worried about.” My nostrils flare as I watch emotions flash across Julian’s face— probably some fear, some arousal.

“I’m sorry?” The guard questions. I take a deep breath and come back to my senses.

“Nothing, my apologies.” I pull my gaze away from Julian and focus on the guard. “I’m afraid I must insist on some privacy. He’s a skeptic and won’t talk around just anyone. If the Countess is displeased, tell her I insisted and that she may speak to me about it.”

The guard stands still for a moment, looking unsure. After a beat, he gives a nod. “Very well. Don’t be long.”

“We won’t, thank you.” I watch carefully as the guard walks off, and as soon as he is free from my vision, I stomp my way towards Julian.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. Er.. well… eye, I suppose,” He fumbles, trying to hide the fear and concern with a smirk.

“Quiet.” I command, pinning him against the wall, chains clattering as they hit it alongside him. He flushes and fixes me with a roguish smile, but it won’t be enough this time. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Why, I’m just admiring the view. And what a lovely, lovely view it is— augh!” I slide my hand under the seam of his shirt and pinch a sensitive area on his hip. Unfortunately, I am unsure if his noise is one of pain or pleasure.

“Stop it, Julian. This isn’t the time. I need you to talk to me.” I feel my mask slip for a moment, concern and fear taking the place of bitter anger. “Please.”

His eyes soften as he stares down at me through fluttering eyelashes, but before I know it he clenches his jaw and his gaze turns hard once more. “I’m telling the truth, my dear. I have to pay for my crime of mur—“

“I’m not sure who exactly you think you are fooling, but it sure as hell isn’t me. You did not kill Lucio. So, it would be in your best interest to answer me honestly. Why are you doing this?” I try to be stern, but I can feel the act slipping away the longer I stared at him. I’m terrified, and it’s getting harder and harder to hide that. I assume by the look in his eyes that he can tell.

He’s silent for a long moment, allowing the weight in my chest to sink more and more. Once again I watch his eyes gloss over as if I were a stranger. As if we hadn’t been in this whole thing together up until this point.

“Perhaps, my darling magician, you just don’t know me as well as you thought you did.” I open my mouth to speak, but he silences me with a leather finger. “I know it must be disappointing to find that I really was the murderer all along, especially with everything we’ve been through, but it’s the truth.” He pauses, an emotion swirling in his eyes that I can’t quite place. “You need to know that.”

I know I’m losing him and that I have to act fast. He’s always been stubborn, but this was on another level. I need him to snap out of whatever dramatic fit this is before it’s too late. I run my hand up his body, starting at his wrist and trailing up past his neck and jawline before reaching into his hair and tangling my fingers through his auburn curls. He can’t resist a smile as his chained hands make their way to my waist.

“Oh, my dear, you are just the loveliest vision in all of—ugh.” His shameless flirtations are cut short when I tighten my grip on his locks, pulling him closer to me so he can’t escape my gaze. I drag my eyes over every inch of his face, stopping on his lips for a moment longer than I intend to. Even as furious as I am with him, it’s hard to resist them— to resist him. He flushes under my stare and flicks his tongue over his lower lip after noticing my attraction to them. I lean closer, our noses touching and lips brushing ever so slightly. He makes a low sound in the back of his throat as I tease a kiss but don’t deliver. Instead, I pull back far enough to look into his eyes, but not so far that our breaths stop mixing. My nose still brushes his.

“Why can’t you just trust me, Julian?” I ask, my voice a low whisper. My hand moves from his hair to the back of his neck and I feel every part of my body betraying me. I can feel myself slipping as the desire takes over.

His eyes are dark, suggesting he’s enduring the same struggle. “I trust you more than anyone, darling. It’s not about trust.” His lips barely move as he speaks and his eyelids droop as we draw closer again. He rests his forehead against mine as he speaks. “It’s about keeping you safe.”

With those words, anger fills my body once again. I push him away from me and back away from his concerned stare. “We are not doing this again, Julian. Absolutely not.” He opens his mouth to speak, but this time it’s my turn to shut him down. I move towards him and place my palm over his mouth, trying to ignore the satisfaction I feel when I see his eyes widen and feel him sink into my touch. “Now, you listen to me, Doctor,” I begin, my voice dropping to a low, almost growling register, “You insist that you need to do things alone but you don’t. In fact, you won’t ever face trials alone as long as I’m here. And no matter how hard you push, I’m not moving. You will not drive me out of your life because I won’t let you!” I move my hand from his mouth to cup his chin, pulling his face towards mine to look at his eyes closer. My gaze switches from eye to eye has I study him, trying to decipher what thoughts are swirling behind them. “Is that understood, Dr. Devorak?” I see him flush at the use of his name in such a way, making heat rush to the bottom of my stomach as I feel the desire crawling over me, suffocating me and silencing any coherent thought. He makes it impossible to focus.

He nods slowly, moving my hand cautiously into his and bringing it up to his lips. He places a soft kiss on the back of my hand and then folds it between his own. “I understand, my dear. I feel the same about you. That’s why I have to do this.” His eyes are apologetic and sad. I feel my stomach sink, fearing no words in this realm would pass into his thick skull and actually stick. Desperation claws at me as I sink into the warmth of his touch, savoring every twitch of his fingers in mine in case it’s the last.

Before I can think properly my free hand is moving, snaking up his body to cradle the back of his head and pulling him into a kiss. He makes a surprised noise against my lips, but eagerly returns my sentiments. The kiss is messy and desperate. I try to touch every inch of his lips with mine and attempt to memorize the taste. Julian may be a mystery on many fronts but I know one thing for sure: he wants me just as much as I want him. I can tell by the way his lips caress mine, the low groans and whimpers he produces, the begging way his hand finds the small of my back to pull me closer. He couldn’t deny it if he tried— though, I don’t think he would.

After several intoxicating moments, I reluctantly pull away. A displeased whimper comes from the back of his throat as he tries to chase my mouth to no avail. I step on my tip toes to bring my mouth up to his ear, brushing my teeth teasingly along his earlobe. I can feel him shiver and it fills me with satisfaction. “Fine,” I begin, whispering into his ear, seduction dripping from the word, “If words won’t work…” I trail my hand down his long figure, starting at his throat and moving down his chest before resting my hand right above the bulge in his pants that he’s had ever since I pushed him against the wall. His adam’s apple bobs as his eyelids droop. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest. “…Maybe actions will.” With that, I move my hand to grope the bulge, earning a strangled sigh from him as he melts into my touch. He was putty in my hands and I had barely done anything yet.

“No, no, I don’t deserve— ahh. What if the guard— fuck.” Fruitless attempts at diversion leave his lips as I stroke him through his pants. He tilts his head up, eyes rolling back as he bites his lips to keep his moans quiet. “Are you sure that you really—“

“Julian,” I scold, causing him to stop talking and focus his eyes back on me. I raise my chin to give him a quick kiss— too quick for either of our likings. I remove my hand from his bulge, making him squirm in response. I stare into his eyes, mine filled with determination and purpose. “Do you want me?”

“Yes,” He responds breathlessly, “I— yes” He seizes my mouth in his hungrily, barely stopping to come up for breath. I fumble with his belt, slipping it from his waist and tugging his pants down. I free his cock, watching it spring up as if begging for my touch. I oblige, wrapping my hand along him and stroking slowly in an agonizing fashion. He thrusts up into my hand, begging for more, but I withhold. A chorus of ‘please’ combined with my name leave his swollen lips. I throb and ache at the sounds of his begging.

I place a kiss on his lips before separating myself and falling to my knees. His eyes widen slightly as I close my lips around his head, swirling my tongue teasingly. I move my hand down to cup his balls, his cock twitching against my lips in response. I fight a prideful grin as I continue to caress him with my tongue. He throws his head back and tangles a hand in his hair, mouth hanging open to allow the whimpers and moans to flow freely. I take my mouth off of his cock with a loud pop, resulting in a fountain of words of protest.

“No—fuck— please don’t stop. Oh, please, please” He whines, making my stomach flip. I bite my lip to keep from making any sounds myself.

“Patience, Dr. Devorak,” I tease. “Don’t worry your pretty little head. I’m going to take good care of you. I want you to feel good.” I trail kisses along his cock as I speak. He growls. “Do you know why? Because, I care about you,” I say with intention, staring into his eyes and moving my hand along him. His eyes soften.

He groans. “God, I do not deserve you.” He drops a hand to my head, running his fingers affectionately through my hair. A grin sneaks through my barriers this time. “I mean you’re just so lovely. And I’m… well I’m a mess. I just bring ruin everywhere, and I— ohhhh”

I cut off his existential rant by returning my mouth to his cock, bobbing my head up and down and using a hand to stroke where my mouth doesn’t touch. His fingers tighten around my hair and a moan escapes my throat, the sound vibrating around him.

“Fuck I— do that again. Please, please do that again.”

I oblige, humming as I move. I’m met with an abundance of yes and just like that. I can feel him hardening more and more with every minute that passes. I move down until he touches the back of my throat and swallow, earning a strangled groan.

“God, that too. You are a vision, my dear— ahhh”

I continue, following his moans as a guide for what to do. When something makes his knees wobble or results in a delicious sound from his lips, I make sure to repeat the action until he sings my name. Seeing him this vulnerable is almost too much for me. Both my heart and my arousal swell at the thought of him. It’s clear to me how much I love him, I only hope it will become clear to him as well.

I feel him grow in my mouth and I know he’s close. I move my head faster, swirling my tongue skillfully and twisting my hand as I stroke. He thrusts himself into my mouth, holding tight to my hair for balance as his knees threaten to give out on him.

“I’m— ahh— I’m going to—“ He tugs on my hair, warning me to take my mouth off, but fight against it and continue moving. “I— fuck— are you sure?” He asks, noting my persistence. I nod, humming along him as I move. It doesn’t take him long after that to come apart in my hands. I slow down but never to a full stop, milking him to his last drop. His noises and praises seem never ending, and I savor every single one of them. His cock twitches as the sensitivity kicks in. Once I’m sure I’ve drank all of him, I remove my mouth. I clean him up with my tongue before fastening him back in his pants. Exhausted, he falls down beside me, breath still heavy. I wipe my mouth as he looks at me with adoration in his eyes and a small smile playing on his lips. I sigh, feeling my heart lighten at the way he’s looking at me.

He takes my hand, kissing the back of it and trailing the kisses up my arm and neck until reaching my lips. I probably still taste of him, but neither of us seems to mind. He kisses me slowly, full of passion. It’s gentler than our previous ones, as if he thinks he may break me if he’s not careful. As he pulls away and a satisfied sigh leaves my nose. I brush my fingers through his hair, unable to keep the smile off of my lips. He leans forward, pressing our foreheads together. We sit in a comfortable silence for a moment.

He’s the first to break it. “I’m sorry,” He grumbles, moving his head and burying it in my shoulder. My fingers play with the hair on the nape of his neck. His arms wrap around me, pulling me in close.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Julian.” I move my other hand to run up and down his back. I feel him sink into me. “I understand your thought process. But I also know how much I care for you and how much I want you to be safe and happy.” I feel him sigh as he tightens his grip around me as if I may disappear.

“A part of me knows that and has known it all along,” He grumbles into my shoulder, “I just… couldn’t stand if anything happened to you… If anyone hurt you— god, if I hurt you— I’d just—“

“Shh…” I coo, pulling him closer. I continue to rub his back until I feel the tension in his shoulders dissipate.

He pulls his head up, looking me in the eye before speaking again. “You are everything to me, my dear. I pray my feelings for you are never in question.”

My smile widens as I look at him, brushing hair out of his eye to see him better. “The feeling is very much mutual.” I lace my fingers with his. “And we’re going to get through this together. You do deserve me, and so much more.”

He chuckles. “Oh, my lovely vision, if I have you I already have everything I need.” I mirror the smile that rests on his lips as he fixes the spots in my hair he had previously messed up. I lean in for a kiss, but we both jump away as we hear metal boots clanking down the stairs. We look to the stairs and then at each other, wide eyed and flushed. We scurry to our feet and I brush my hair with my fingers, nervous he missed something while trying to fix it. I stifle a laugh at his poor attempt to tuck in his shirt, earning an eye roll and a sharp ‘shh!’.

The guard makes his way back into the cell. “My apologies, magician. I was told to alert you that the recess is coming to an end and the verdict is about to be read.” I feel my stomach drop. As much as I enjoyed my time in here with Julian, I failed to get any important information. He must see the concern in my face because he rushes towards me, putting both hands on my shoulders and pulling me close enough to whisper.

“I have a plan. Come find me after the verdict and I’ll explain everything. No incentive needed. Unless, of course, you want to—“

His flirtatious whispers are cut short by the guard pulling him off of me. “Keep your hands off, murderer,” he spits, but Julian is far too focused on me to process the insult, a playful smirk sitting on his lips. I force a straight face, narrowing my eyes in attempts to keep a scowl.

“That’s quite all right, I finished things up here anyway.” I give him a pointed look and he quirks an eyebrow at me. I force myself to look away. “Thank you for letting me speak to him.”

The guard nods and I begin to leave to cell despite the force begging me to stay. Just as I’m about to reach the stairs, his voice calls out to me. I turn back towards him.

“Thank you for your… help, magician. Please, do let me know if you want me to—er— return the favor,” He teases, throwing me a suggestive look. My cheeks flush as I manage a nod. Luckily, I keep my smile from forming until I’m up the stairs and out of anyone’s eye. My fingers caress the stone walls as I walk, feeling much lighter than when I arrived.

[alycosworld]

I posted 139 times in 2022

That's 38 more posts than 2021!

79 posts created (57%)

60 posts reblogged (43%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cipheress-to-k-pop

@teeeentitaaans

@rubinocore

@markired

@incorrectbatfam

I tagged 109 of my posts in 2022

Only 22% of my posts had no tags

#aly.rants - 69 posts

#dc's legends of tomorrow - 29 posts

#legends of tomorrow - 28 posts

#john constantine - 12 posts

#matt ryan - 11 posts

#sara lance - 7 posts

#in space with markiplier - 7 posts

#markiplier - 7 posts

#ava sharpe - 6 posts

#the clone dilemma - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 110 characters

#watch it pick back up again for a fleeting moment and then i'll leave you all stranded with absolutely nothing

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

bethic twinstinct doesn't feel like an episode. it feels like i had a very shameful and strange dream and now im awake and do not know how to go about my day without thinking about it or letting it affect me.

151 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

#4

MANDO 🥺🥺 HES SO CUTE

See the full post

157 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

#3

i saw yr post abt the request thing so im gonna request^^

how abt venti with a s/o that i introverted and hates alcohol??? im not a big fan of alcohol and drunk ppl really scare me lol so id like to see how that would work out! i also have a social battery and when i do run out of that social battery and get really irritable and frustrated so how would he deal with that? take yr time and get rest <3

🧸/💮 anon~

(did u know iphone added new heart emojis0.0)

Venti with an Introverted S/O

A/N: in the process of momentarily reviving the blog as I said earlier, so here's the first post to mark that.

also, if you understand/like the phoenix wright reference then ily &lt;3

thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

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okay so, he's not gonna stop drinking for you. dude's an alcoholic, through and through.

and, he doesn't want to leave you alone because he loves you and he likes having you with him.

but...he realises that you don't like the atmosphere of the rowdier bars he frequents, or even the nice bars late into the night.

people shouting and making unnecessary comments, loud, horribly-sung music, all the drunkards crowding together and closing in around you.

it's terrifying and Venti's used to it, but you aren't and he understands.

you can stand him being drunk alone, because he's just dumb, funny and flirty - which, honestly, isn't much different from regular Venti.

so, what exactly does he do to help you out?

solution one: drink at home, sing his own songs, and recreate the atmosphere of a bar with just you. He doesn't care much for the patrons either - they're fun to be with, but he much prefers you.

solution two: take you two a calmer bar like Angel's Share (usually while Diluc's around so he can keep everyone in check) and defend you like Phoenix Wright.

as for your social battery, Venti just knows when you're running low. No matter what he had planned, no matter who else wants to see either of you, as soon as you get a little bit irritated, he's ushering you home.

he can't cook anything fancy, but he lives off bar food and he'll pick up something or haphazardly make something for you. Sure, it isn't elegant or well presented, but it fills you up, calms you down, helps you relax and tastes pretty damn good.

he'll cuddle with you, sing you an impromptu tune, tell you a good story, or just let you sleep while he takes care of everything else. If you need to get away from people, Venti will know and he'll handle it perfectly.

he'll stop whatever he's doing and immediately remove you from a social situation with some vague excuse:

"Well, I-- oh! Look at the time! Y'know, I think my darling lover and I should get going right about now, huh? Buh-bye, now!"

and he'll let you do whatever you want straight after, whether it be flee the scene like a villain or collapse on the street from tiredness.

"Oh? Have you had enough for today, my love? I agree, let's get you home and I'll take care of the rest."

"Don't worry about them, dove. All that's important is that we get out of here. No matter the situation, I'll handle it. You just rest. I love you."

161 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

#2

guys mark confirmed that yancy, as lore, has magical tattoos that change according to the universes changing around him. omg. y'all.

189 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sweetheart

John Constantine X Reader

NEW A/N: so! It's finally here, the finished version of "TITLE" that I accidentally posted all that time ago (and decided to leave up for the memories). I've left in all the old stuff, no changes to the original text, I just added to it so it's a complete story. I've even left in the old A/N for nostalgia ykwim. aNYWAYS, HAVE FUN!

OLD A/N: 100 followers is coming up but I have nothing for y'all so take the product of my latest obsession: john mf constantine - resident demonologist, exorcist, master of the dark arts, accomplished warlock and outrageously attractive brit. I love him, you love him, so let's give our soulless boy a round of applause! thanks for reading, please enjoy &lt;3

warnings: a lil spicy, slight choking??, talk of sex, inexperienced reader, reader is called pretty, love, sweetheart (idk if these are considered gendered words but I dont think they are??), gender-neutral reader

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(takes place in s4, Séance and Sensibility with the old Zari (Tomaz))

Kamadeva, now locked in the brig of the Waverider, poured some of the glittery ashes of his vial into his hand, blowing them through the air vents and to reach all the other rooms and Legends aboard in the night.

...

"Now, what are you doing, dreaming about me, love?" John asked. His trench coat had been removed and his sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows as he sat on the edge of your bed.

"The fugitive must've done something. It's fine, y'know, can't two friends hang out in a dream?" You chuckled nervously, sitting on a beanbag on the ground, crossing your legs and trying to act perfectly normal, although you knew that Kamadeva's magic wasn't for friends and John had special abilities when it came to dreams - he knew you were dreaming then and when you woke up, he'd know you'd been dreaming about him.

"Friends...that's not how I'd describe you and me. The way you act around me...it's not typical for friends, is it, sweetheart?" John asked with an undeniably attractive grin on his face.

"Don't call me that." You said, unable to stop heat from rising to your cheeks as John tilted his head to the side.

"And why not? I do it all the time. Or is it suddenly becoming less...friendly?" John asked before you felt your body stand up and walk to him. You definitely wanted to be near to him but, unaware of how much John would know about this dream when you woke up, you had to try and resist having fun. You came to stand just in front of him but he pulled you closer still, holding you by the waist as he guided you to straddle his lap.

"John..." You started, feeling your heart race as John leaned in towards you, pressing a kiss from your jaw to your neck to your collarbone and then pulling away to look at your flushed face as you gasped and breathed heavily, chest heaving up and down for John to marvel at.

"Pretty..." He mumbled with a dazed smile on his face.

"What?" You asked, not believing his words despite the whole situation being a fantasy.

"I said, pretty. Prettiest "friend" I've ever had the pleasure of knowing." John said, making you smile and look away from him. John seemed to realise the effect of his words and how you partially didn't believe them.

"I mean it, love," John said, snaking a hand behind your head to cradle the back of your neck, but when he watched you shudder and flinch slightly as his hand touched the skin, he grinned wickedly.

"Oh?" He asked, testing his theory of sensitivity by ghosting his fingers along your neck again and watching as you fell apart.

"John, I--" You managed meekly, but he only chuckled deeply before coiling one hand around your neck and tightening his grip ever so slightly as the other palm rested on your thigh.

"And how do you enjoy that, love?" He asked, watching your breath hitch but noticing your blatant satisfaction. John squeezed a little harder before letting go completely and smiling charmingly at you before leaning in and pulling your head down gently so your lips could meet his.

...

Unfortunately, just before the kiss you had dreamed about would occur so vividly in your mind, you woke up, panting heavily and in desperate need of a cool down.

You walked into the kitchen where the girls were, in just your pajamas, hair a mess and heart racing.

"The fugitive get to you too?" Sara asked, a smile on her face as Charlie beamed brightly.

"Yeah." You nodded as Sara handed you a glass of cold water.

"Well, personally, I really enjoyed my night. Blowing David Bowie's mind." Charlie grinned as Sara chuckled and Zari rolled her eyes with a smile.

"Who'd you get a leg over, Z? Wait, lemme guess, Nate? No, Kamadeva?" Zari stayed silent but raised her eyebrows making you and Sara look at her incredulously.

"Both?" You and she asked.

See the full post

331 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[insufferably-sexy-cunt-autist]

as promised here they are.

1. pretti :)

8,5/10 simple but very sweet (coming from my partner)

2. i was talking to this 6’3’’ jacked stoner dude with pink hair over the summer and then got ghosted

8/10 i love the vulnerability. his loss. although i respect the pink hair.

3. you seem bombalicious mah pooks

9/10 this boosted my confidence 200%

4. you got a lot going on and you’re fun and cool :)

8/10 you’re adorable

5. my great grandpa made moonshine in the bathtub

7,5/10 i had to google this. i honestly can’t visualise this in my head. your great grandpa seems intriguing.

6. hi i perceive you as a cool person who posted this quiz online, u’re chaotic and i adore your energy.

8/10 very detailed, really wholesome.

7. (badly translated) HAHAHAHA LISSY WOW OKAY i describe you as a very terrifying fun girl.

8,5/10 love the intense emotions. this description is actually perfect. i’ll put terrifying fun girl in my linkedin bio

8. lore of my life: socially awkward, scared of people. how i see you: how the fuck has evolution been able to make you.

11/10 the first info might be something to discuss in therapy. this is the most creative way i’ve ever been perceived and i’ll assume you mean you’ve never seen anyone as hot and sexy and funny and cool and perfect as me.

9. miss girl i didn’t know you listen to chappell roan craaaaaazzzyyyy #slay

7,5/10 love the shock. i love chappell roan.

10. please don’t kiss me, i don’t know you. listen to the amazing devil, they will change your mind.

7/10 i said kiss me please not i’ll kiss you👹 so you don’t have to worry about that. listened to it and it’s good music but not for me

11. ride me?? (im a 13 yr old gay male virgin)

-100/10 first of all. you need to log off and do your math homework or something and i know you’re probably joking (i pray you are) but i’m 1. not a man, 2. not single, 3. NOT A MINOR. im honestly concerned about you

honorable mentions from a quiz i made for my friends, i asked them the meaning of life.

1. meaning of life is old men obviously (and crack cocaine in an alley)

answered in 30 seconds

2. great big booty bitchez

you’re so real for that

answered in 52 seconds

3. because of you i lost my meaning of life

i know that knowing i exist is the reason you fall asleep at peace every night and the reason you wake up and keep going. stop lying.

answered in 53 seconds

okay that’s it. this definitely changed my life.

should i make a compilation of how people answered the open questions in my uquizzes? its definitely eye-opening

to the one person who called me bombalicious i am madly in love with u

[reesiereads]

Let's talk about Virgil...

Note: Please for the love of God read the whole fucking post.

Let's do this.

So I'll start off by saying that this post is not excusing any of Virgil's actions. Canon Virgil has been an asshole lately and its very clear he doesn't plan on changing his actions. This is more a rant about why I believe he is being characterised that way, and why its a fucking problem (besides the obvious). If you don't like negitive stuff towards Virgil scroll past.

I'll say first that I believe Virgil's characterzation makes sense. His close knit relationship with Patton makes sense because Anxiety is often affected by your emotions and how you feel about certain things (your morality). His relationship with Logan makes sense (the threats, the shutting up thing, the talking over, the arguing) because anxiety often over rules logic and reasoning, and can make you impulsive and emotionally charged (people can actually be very aggressive or irritable when anxious, most aren't uwu soft or whatever the fuck get your facts straight) His relationship with Roman makes sense because motivation for creativity can be distinguished by anxiety, not to mention the fact that your anxiety and fears about perfection or whatever can affect your work. His relationship with Janus makes sense because anxiety and lieing have a very interesting relationship, you can lie about being anxious or while being anxious but you can also be anxious about lieing. His relationship with Remus makes sense because intrusive thoughts can be scary, and can make you anxious about how you'll act or if your a good person.

However: Just because Virgil is characterized well for Anxiety, doesn't excuse his actions towards the others

As someone who has very bad anxiety, and can get very cruel or irritable or sarcastic when anxious I can understand where Virgil is coming from (if you believe he also suffers from anxiety like I do) however having anxiety doesn't excuse your actions. Just because your in a bad mental state doesn't mean you can say whatever the fuck you want and not apoligize or make up for it. And it definitely doesn't mean that you can threaten to harm people.

I'll give you an example (because I know people need those): When my anxiety first started developing I had a very bad way of coping with it. When Anxious I would snap at people, be sarcastic to the point of cruelty, and insult people.

However, I've changed this behavior and have improved massively. I am working constantly on not hurting other people or snapping not just when I'm anxious but when I'm upset or angry or anything.

The problem with Virgil is that he isn't trying to change.

Virgil has acknowledged that he is mean, and he says its so that he can be 'heard' but he also knows this isn't necessary anymore. The others have made it clear that they are willing to listen to him, and yet he countinues to insult, degrade, threaten, and berate the others. He hasn't made any attempt to stop this behavior or even bothered to fucking apoligize (one time does not make up for doing in a million other times).

I love Virgil, but people need to understand that in canon, he isn't some fucking pure baby (he literally said he hates being called that btw) he is an asshole who needs to be put in check, and needs to understand that:

Anxiety isn't an excuse to hurt others

I understand others may not agree with me on this, and thats fine. All I ask is that if you comment do it in a respectful manner. You can love Virgil (I do to, I find him relatable) and this post isn't me trying to say you can't, but please don't curse me out or take drastic measures because I'm expressing my opinions.

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n and ranboo

this is an extra part to the great adventures series

summary: part two to the angst imagine (the not so great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo) it’s a happier ‘ending’ please read what is written in bold

this is an “alternative ending” around 15 years into the future this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out, i feel the need to confirm this now love between y/n and ranboo in this imagine is completely platonic

it had been about a month since you last streamed whereas ranboo continued to stream a few days after the fallout as he wanted to make sure you were going to be okay. even though ranboo knew this huge fallout would eventually happen, it still hurt him, especially since he knew there was no way to prevent it, the four of you in the same house mixed with the stress of being some of the most-watched content creators made living rather difficult. it was like walking on eggshells as you didn’t want to interrupt someone's stream, then there was the additional stress of obsessive fans finding out where the four of you lived, you still remember that day very vividly. you were sat in between tubbo and ranboo watching the office whilst Tommy was in an interview when you received a message from your mod.

Chris: hey y/n I received this message earlier I don’t want to scare you, but maybe get the locks changed. someone sent a message claiming this is your address *image of message from ‘fan’*

it didn’t take long for tubbo and ranboo to receive a message from their mods saying the same thing

“holy shit...”

“chances are Tommy has the message too. we shall go check around the house when Tommy is done with the interview.”

luckily no one ever showed up to the house, but the fact some people were so obsessed to the point they found your address was enough to put everyone in the house on edge. and now it was just you and ranboo in the house. you didn’t feel safe as even though ranboo promised to not let anything happen, you didn’t wanna risk it.

“we should move. there’s no point in having such a big house for two people, what are we going to use the extra space for heh? hide and seek with people who have our address. no thank you. I say we move leave this mess behind and start completely over, hell I’d feel safer in the us and that’s saying something”

ranboo agreed the house didn’t have the happiest memories attached to it anymore, it hurt walking past the hallway as it would bring back the memory of him crying into the crook of y/ns neck whilst tubbo left the house.

“let’s do it, I’ll do an early stream then we can look for houses. go take a shower. I’ll stay close to the door so you’re safe, then you can stay in my room whilst I stream, you can join me if you would like.”

“you’re being very protective all of a sudden...let me guess you got the message from our mods announcing the obsessive fans are at it again?”

“go take a shower.”

“no.”

ranboo ended up picking you up, carried you to the bathroom and turned the shower on before putting you on your feet.

“quick shower I’ll see you later.”

and with that he left the room shutting the door behind him, 30 minutes later you got changed and followed ranboo to his room ready to join him whilst he streams

“hey boo, can I join you? I kinda wanna get into streaming again.”

“I'm so glad you asked, I was going to do a face cam stream, if that’s okay?”

“of course.”

you grabbed his mask and glasses whilst he locked the door so you were both safe. “here you go.”

“thank you.”

the pair of you started the stream and it was honestly going well, you were having so much fun you forgot about all the negative things currently going on, you began to understand why ranboo continued streaming as for those 2-4 hours of streaming it felt as though everything was back to normal. 3 hours later the two of you ended stream and Twitter went crazy. tweets ranged from fans talking about how ranboo was streaming with you, how Tommy was in chat, and how tubbo was modding as people who mentioned anything about their address being leaked were banned by tubbo. the one thing that caught ranboos eye was fan art and a picture of you both from the stream captioned ‘they’re platonic soulmates your honour’ ranboo went as far to like, retweet and comment on it.

ranaltboo: glad you liked the stream it was great having y/n back, think I might make them play tattletail next stream

definitelynoty/n: isn’t that the Furby game that terrified you in 2021? bring it on boo!

Twitter went crazy over this interaction, you had finally come back to social media after months of being inactive, and it looked like you were here to stay. a month later you and ranboo moved out of the house and sold it to your aunt and her wife and their three adopted children, you explained the situation and even changed the locks for them all before they moved in.

“Please do tell us if anyone shows up who shouldn’t be. we changed the locks as you were aware- oh hello little one.”

you noticed one of their children decided to cling onto your leg

“I like your hair it’s colourful!”

“Indeed it is.”

“WOAH A GIANT!”

the little girl let go of your leg and ran to ranboo asking to be picked up, unsure of what to do he looked towards you. however, you were too busy laughing about the fact he was compared to a giant.

“I'm so sorry uh if you want to pick her up you can, you don’t have to.”

“pick me up, tall man... I want to be taller!”

ranboo ended up standing next to you with an arm around your waist whilst the child sat on his shoulders happily playing with his hair.

“ranboo do not drop that child.”

“I didn't- I didn't plan on it y/n.”

eventually, it was time to leave and the child reluctantly let go of ranboo.

“bye-bye!! hope to see you soon!”

soon enough you were at a smaller house, far away from the old house, leaving behind the negative feelings. it could only get better, a week later the pair of you had settled into the new house, it finally felt like home. you and ranboo were now streaming full time again, safe to say the two of you were thriving and closer than ever.

“so I’m thinking if I hit the sub-goal today I’ll let chat pick what colour I dye my hair.”

“make it higher, and I’ll let you cut my hair.”

“Are you being serious? oh my god!”

a few minutes later you took to Twitter to announce you were going live.

y/n: kidnapping children in the sims with ranboo psst check the subgoal.

within 20 minutes you had hit the sub-goal, chat ended up picking another random neon colour for your hair.

“right hair dye and the cutting stream will be this weekend, now let’s go back to kidnapping.”

tubbo, tommy, and jack felt awful for what happened and went back to the house where you used to live, hoping to see you there so they could apologise, tubbo knocked on the door only to be met by a young child.

“my sister watches you on twitch!”

“oh that’s lovely.. are y/n and ranboo here?”

an older woman came to the door.

“oh no, I’m sorry dear they both moved out, but they left this box and said to give it to you if you returned.”

“do you know where they moved to?”

“I'm sorry dear, I'm not allowed to tell you that information for safety reasons.”

“I understand, thanks anyway.”

they ended up going back to jacks where the three of them had been staying.

“We should open the box.”

tubbo opened the box and emptied the items onto the floor, inside was the rocks y/n handed tubbo from every trip, photos of the group, a necklace y/n had gifted to Tommy a day before the argument, and a hat y/n had taken from jack during a trip to a zoo.

“what the fuck!”

“holy shit!”

“they really kept all these in hopes we would come back?”

“and now we’re too late.”

it was now the weekend you and ranboo were ready to stream, you stood leaning on ranboo who was significantly smaller than you as you lowered the chair he sat on.

“starting stream...now.”

after the starting soon intro played, you explained what was happening to any new viewers or people who didn’t watch the stream.

“so I’m about to become Edward Scissorhands...I love that film can we watch it later?”

“yeah mhm sure!”

you didn’t know this but your ex best friends were watching and ever so often would show up in the chat.

“so boo, what are we doing with your hair today?”

“just a trim please darling?”

“This is y/ns hairdressers you get what I’m capable of!”

you ended up doing a pretty good job of cutting ranboos hair, even he was impressed.

“I didn’t doubt you for a minute!”

“mhm sure thing please don’t mess up my hair tall one!”

soon enough you had the dye on. 45 minutes later you left to wash it off, leaving ranboo to entertain stream,

“chat I think I missed some of their hair it’s okay, I own scissors, I’ll just cut it.. speaking of they did a great job, didn't they? I honestly expected them to mess up.”

a few minutes later you joined ranboo again and spent the next few hours talking with chat. tubbo, tommy, and jack stayed the entire time. they loved the fact you and ranboo were able to stay close after what happened, Tommy noticed you were still wearing the necklace he got you many years ago and spammed them chat with him tubbo and jack

Tommy: THEYRE WEARING THE NECKLACE!!

jack: so what? they clearly don’t wanna talk to us.

tubbo: shut up listen to them.

“chat why are we spamming platonic soulmates?”

“they’ve been saying it all over Twitter, look on trending y/n.”

you started to blush slightly at all the amazing artwork soon enough the stream came to an end, after saying goodbye the pair of you sat together going through fan art. unfortunately the one that caught your eye was this one twitter post where the artist had created a drawing of a piece of paper with you, ranboo, tommy, tubbo, and jack, however the paper was ripped separating you and ranboo from the others, captioned ‘it was never meant to be’ this clearly upset ranboo as he took off his mask and glasses placing them on the desk before going straight to his bed.

“boo…are you okay?”

“Are you tired of me? are you going to leave next?”

“what? no of course not! I could never get tired of you, why do you ask?”

“everyone else has left..i thought they cared about us, i knew it would happen eventually and i couldn’t stop it, i’m sorry, y/n, please don’t hate me.”

you sat on the edge of the bed looking down at the floor,

“come here.”

you watched him roll over to face you.

“you know there’s no one else who I'd rather spend the rest of my life with, right…if i hated you i wouldn’t have moved house with you. it’s not your job to fix everything and make everything better, you’re a streamer for christ sake not a therapist.”

“i guess so.. can we watch that thing you were on about for ages.”

“edward scissorhands? “

“mhm!”

you could tell he wanted to be distracted, so you agreed and put the film on, towards the end you began to get upset due to how overwhelming everything was.

“Why are you crying?”

“poor Edward.”

“come here.”

ranboo pulled you into a hug you laid there crying into his chest, he knew that wasn’t the reason you were crying, but he wasn’t about to make you tell him, luckily it didn’t take long for you to stop crying as ranboo quickly distracted you.

“ranboo..”

“yeah y/n?”

“I feel bad i didnt realise how much pressure was on you whilst everyone was arguing.”

“Hey, it’s okay, is that what’s upsetting you?”

“mhm.”

“don’t blame yourself, i’d do it all over again to keep you safe and happy..then again i didn’t do a good job on keeping you happy.”

“you did..you were always there for me even when i gave up on social media, you shared your room with me after i started receiving creepy messages from that obsessed fan, hell you even went on adventures with me even though it was clear you hadn’t been sleeping, just so we could spend time together and forget about what was happening. you mean a lot to me boo.”

“i love you.”

“i love you too bud, I’m tired.”

“go to sleep, it’s been a long day.”

“okay.”

“you just staying there?”

“yes.”

“oh, oh okay, goodnight.”

about a year later the two of you were still thriving, ranboo got you a promise ring a few months earlier.

“heh what’s this for?”

“as your best friend i promise to stay by your side and keep you safe and make sure that you’re happy, in other words you're stuck with me till the end of time.”

“boo…i really don’t know what to say.. thank you so much!”

“you don’t have to say anything!”

you ended up going out to buy him a promise ring when he started the stream and decided to take your cousins with you now that they were a little older. ranboo was doing a facecam stream when the door slammed open revealing you covering your three younger cousins ranboo not realising you were hiding them from the camera, instinctively stood up covering the camera

“ranboooooo!”

“yes you three and y/n ,what do you need?”

“we would like to watch a film!”

“Okay, i’ll go put one on, y/n will you entertain chat?”

“sure thing boo boy!”

once they left you sat fixing your hair forgetting you were wearing the ring chat noticed this and went crazy, so did Tommys group with tubbo and jack.

tubbo: that’s a ring, right??

jack: yeah looks like it.

Tommy: holy shit I always thought if anyone was gonna get married it would be tubbo and y/n, they were inseparable.

tubbo: hilarious.

jack: it could just be a ring, no one mentioned marriage tommy!

Tommy: we should congratulate them.

jack: at least let them explain fucking hell.

soon enough ranboo came back into the room,

“sorry one of them found it hilarious to steal my glasses...”

“they’re little shits i swear to god but i love them.”

you both noticed chat going crazy and both looked at each other before laughing.

“i'm sorry, i can’t take you serious in the mask and glasses!”

“i can’t take you serious with neon hair, but here we are!”

“rude!”

you and ranboo quickly put an end to the rumours,

“no we’re not engaged or married, it is a promise ring. no they’re not our children, they’re y/ns cousins they just spend a lot of time here..chat stop calling me and y/n parents and comparing us to phil that’s not..that’s not how it works okay!”

“parent arc!”

“y/n, don’t encourage them!”

“it’s a little bit funny!”

soon enough the bit came to an end and eventually ranboo ended the stream.

“hey boo look what i got you”

you handed him a little black box, inside was a ring similar to yours

“i promise to always stick around and be here for you”

“oh my god”

ranboo tackled you into a hug thanking you several times for his rings. you and ranboo were living your best life meanwhile jack, tommy, and tubbo were stuck dealing with the guilt of what happened, but they’re weren’t giving up that easy. they wanted you both back, that’s when you received a notification, tommyinnit has sent you a message request: hey y/n can we talk..please?

taglist

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

[loostssoul]

if you kissed me - Rodrick Heffley | 1.9k

Yeah yeah i know i haven't written since a million years ago. and yeah yeah i know this is my first real fanfiction i posted on tumblr. fair warning, i'm not the best writer, i honestly just do this for fun and i'm totally up to criticism because i do want to make my writing better. if this is literally inaccurate, im sorry its been like 5 years since i've read the books. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fluff-fest that I created in the span of a few hours.

paring: rodrick x reader genre: fluff. lots of fluff

Credits to the maker of the picture! 15 Days till the Contest | 9:42 PM, Saturday

Plick, plick, plick

My speakers were blasting so loud I almost didn’t hear the sound of pebbles hitting my window.

Plick, plick, plick

I rubbed my eyes and slammed my laptop shut, walking toward my bedroom window. Peering down, I saw a figure a few yards down from my second-story bedroom, looking back up at me. Dark brown, messy hair that stuck up around his face. A red and black flannel, black ripped jeans, and, (of course) a tee-shirt with “Loded Diper” clumsily written on it. A grin spread on his face as he saw my face come into his view, causing me to blush. Rodrick Heffley, Crossland High bad boy, and my boyfriend.

I unlocked the latch to my window and stuck my head out, taking in the cool air and letting the neighbors enjoy the music I was playing (they never did). I looked down.

“Y/N!” He whisper-yelled

“Evening, Heffley.”

“I need to tell you something!”

“What’s so important that you have to scratch my window instead of using the power of modern technology to call me?”

His mouth opened to give me a response, but nothing came out. I smirked, “Come on up.”

I opened the window wider as he climbed the trellis that lined the back of my house. I backed up to my door and locked it. Precautions, my parents liked Rodrick but they definitely wouldn’t approve of him in my room at night. I looked back and I saw him, every feature of him illuminated by the light of my room. His cheeky smile and chocolate brown eyes. He slowly closed the window and walked toward me, brushing a strand of hair out of my face. I still got butterflies whenever he touched me.

“Hey, Spiderman. What did ya climb in here to tell me?” I asked

“I got Loded Diper into a contest.”

My eyes widened, Loded Diper, my boyfriend’s rock band, wasn’t exactly known for being the best. It was mostly known for his mom’s insane dance moves during the Plainview Talent Show. But of course, i'll never say that in front of his face.

“You did?! That’s awesome Rodrick!”

“Yeah! It's a battle of the bands contest, we’re going against two other bands. I really think this is gonna be our big break!” His eyes sparkled in excitement.

His happiness was contagious, he was like a goddamn puppy. I pulled him into my arms. “I’m proud of you Rod.” I muttered and smiled into his collarbone. I felt him inhale the scent of my hair and twirl my locks around his fingers.

“Hey,” he said, breaking the hug. “I’m having practice tomorrow with the band, you wanna come?”

“Sure. I go to every practice anyway, why miss out on this one?” I shrugged.

He chuckled and looked at me. Really looked at me. That’s one of the reasons why I fell for him. It never seemed like it, but he paid attention. We’ve only been dating for 4 months, but he knew me like no one else did, and I knew that in the way he looked at me. I felt his hand cup my face, his thumb rubbing my cheek in small circles. I looked up at him, noticing how tall he was, how close he was. Was I the one who leaned in? Was he the one who leaned in? Did we just do it subconsciously? Did he want this? Was he ready? Was I ready?

The ringing of Rodrick’s phone filled the room. The daze we were trapped in was gone and we separated, our faces red. Rodrick picked up the phone, it was his mom.

“Yeah, mom? Mom...I’m in the middle of something. I’ll do laundry later, ok? Now? C’mon… Alright, fine. Bye.” He hung up. “Sorry, I gotta blast.”

“It’s fine, I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked him as he started toward my window.

He looked back at me and planted a kiss on my forehead, the farthest we’ve ever gone with physical touch as a couple.

“Tomorrow”

~~✰✰✰~~

14 Days till the Contest | 1:22 PM, Saturday afternoon

“Should we take it from the top?”

Practice wasn’t going so well. I could feel the nervousness, the tension. Drums were slightly off beat, the guitarist’s fingers would fly to the wrong places on the fretboard, lyrics would go all over the place. The contest was two weeks away, and Loded Diper was already feeling the anxiousness. I sat on the floor of the garage, on top of a picnic blanket I found. To Rodrick’s dismay, his mom forced him to let Greg watch band practice, as a form of “brother-to-brother bonding time.” Greg sat next to me, mockingly covering his ears.

“Oh thank god, it's done.” Greg said with an immense amount of sarcasm and uncovering his ears.

Rodrick threw a crumpled-up piece of paper at his head, “Shut up.”

“Both of you, be nice.” I laughed. “I think you guys should take a break for a while, maybe shake off the nerves.”

“Good idea Y/N, 20 minute break everyone!” The lead singer said. Everyone spread out, grabbing a piece of pizza ordered earlier and laying down. Greg ran out of the garage, yelling, “I’m free!”

Rodrick stood up and began gulping down a bottle of water. He wore a black tanktop and black ripped jeans, sweat dripping down his forehead. I ran up behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso. He turned and faced me, running his hands through my hair, lost in thought.

“You ok, Rod?” I asked him.

He sighed, “nerves”

I leaned my head on his chest, “You’re gonna do great, you’ve done so many gigs in the past. Think of this as one of those!”

He smiled at me, “You know what would make me feel a lot less nervous?”

“Oh god. What?”

A really common thing Rodrick did was try to bargain a kiss on the lips from me. It's been an ongoing joke, a meaningless bit he did all the time. I’ll do my homework if you kissed me on the lips. I’ll smile in the picture if you kissed me on the lips. It still hasn’t worked.

“I might be less nervous if you kissed me on the lips.” He whispered to me.

I rolled my eyes, “If that’s what it takes then I think you’ll lose the competition.”

He let go of me and laughed, my favorite laugh. “Worth a try.” He shrugged, going off to join his bandmates and the pizza. But as I watched him smile and laugh with his friends, I lost myself. I thought about the previous night. The way we fit into each other, the closeness, the fact that was so close that I could see my reflection in his eyes.

Maybe I should just say yes.

~~✰✰✰~~

The Day of the Contest

For the past 2 weeks, Rodrick has given me the “kiss-bargain” joke 9 times. Every time, I deflected it with sarcastic remarks, and every time I regretted not agreeing.

I sat on the front steps of my porch, waiting for Rodrick to pick me up. I regretted the jean shorts and plain black tee-shirt I had on, as a cold breeze brushed my skin. I pulled my black leather jacket on, which I painted “Loded Diper” on the back in white paint. Then, I heard it. The echo of heavy metal turned to full blast, and… the faint sound of something big getting knocked over. Oh god, they’re here. The white van with “Loded Diper” written in huge words screeched to a halt in front of my house.

The window rolled down, revealing my boyfriend and his excited grin. “Get in.”

~~✰✰✰~~

30 minutes till Loded Diper preforms

It felt surreal to be backstage, and really exciting. Energy was flowing through the room, as all the other bands talked and played. The rest of the band members seemed excited, full of adrenaline. Except for Rodrick, he’s been nervous ever since soundcheck. His leg was bouncing,he twirled his drumsticks around, drumming them on random objects, and his eyes stared into nothing.

“Rodrick, you want me to do your eyeliner?”

“Huh?” He didn’t take his eyes away from the ground, his voice seemed far away.

I lifted a liquid eyeliner pen I had in my pocket, “Eyeliner. I just did mine, we can match!”

He lifted his head and noticed me. I had my eyeliner smudged, just like he always does during a gig. He grinned, “Yeah. Yeah sure.”

I’ve done his eyeliner many times in the past, and I loved doing it because I had to be as close to him as possible. So I hopped onto his lap, pressing myself close to him, trying to comfort him with my warmth.

“Close your eyes.” I ordered.

As I applied his eyeliner, I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. It was heavy, and fast. I’m pretty sure I would still hear it if I wasn’t as close to him as I was, even though the loud music blasting through the theatre.

“Done”

He opened his eyes, and butterflies flooded my stomach. We were close. Very close. Should I do it? Should I lean in?

Rodrick probably sensed my flustered-ness. He smirked, “Cat got your tongue?”

I rolled my eyes, blushing hard. “Shut up.” I said, playfully punching him.

~~✰✰✰~~

“5 Minutes until Loded Diper performs!” A man exclaimed to us.

Rodrick was as nervous as ever. We’ve been standing on the left wing of the stage, watching the other bands play. It felt like a bunch of Loded Diper copy-pastes. A bunch of high schoolers, weird names, very aggressive playing. But they were still pretty good. Rodrick was biting the nails of one of his hands and tapping his other hand on the wall behind him. I looked up at him and held his hand, stopping it from fidgeting. He smiled nervously.

Now or never Y/N…

“Hey, you said that if I kiss you, you won’t be as nervous. Right?”

He looked at me, wide eyed. He seemed to be trying to compute what I said.

I stood on tiptoe and put his face in my hands. It was that night all over again. Every detail of his face, of him was in full view. His eyes, his eyeliner, his scent, his lips. I leaned in.

His lips were soft against mine, but they were tense, flustered. I was terrified, It was the wrong place, the wrong time. Until I felt one hand in my hair, another on my waist, pulling me closer.

How long was the kiss? A few seconds? It felt like minutes, hours. Sparked ignited. Butterflies flew in my stomach. His scent was the only thing I smelled, his warmth was the only thing I felt. The music faded away. Everything faded away. It was just him and I. Until we broke apart, taking in deep breaths of each other. We wanted more, but Loded Diper was playing in a few seconds.

“Hey, Rodrick.”

“Yeah?”

“If you win I’ll kiss you again”

We both knew I would kiss him regardless.

I didn't edit this because editing is for wimps (just kidding be responsible and edit your work)

please like and reblog because it gives me serotonin and i need that