#im gonna give her one just you wait
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these two……. so charming. so pretty. so unaware of what the fuck is going on at all times
#dumb little doodle cause I felt like posting something#I’ve got a bunch of dumb drawings that aren’t finished yet but yeah I just. wanted to post. Something#so heres my autistic favs yuki n kiryu <3#no filter brutally honest but well intentioned autistic + can’t read between the lines or pick up on vibes to save his fucking life autistic#yuki#kiryu#kiryu kazuma#kazuma kiryu#yakuza#yakuza 0#I don’t think yuki has a canon last name from what I’m aware?? which is a damn shame considering she’s a recurring character and#also the Best Girl#im gonna give her one just you wait#call me out if im wrong tho and she actually Does have a last name#rambling#my art
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gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow
#life update if anyone gaf we're now at the point where i know i'm getting the adhd diagnosis and yet i STILL HAVE TO WAIT#like she just isnt sure if it's adhd or add (its norway theyre not gonna update the terms any time soon just roll with it)#and im just like. girl i don't give a fuck#its been so many years i cant do this anymore#we've talked to my fucking kindergarten teachers like 😭 they've investigated my entire life atp#to make sure i did in fact have all these issues from birth#because my word and my mum's word just isn't good enough i guess#like lets rely on the selective memories of random ass people ive encountered growing up this is ASININE#anyway my godmother had a 4h consultation the other day and got diagnosed on the spot#so now my mum is mad at her LMFAO#cause my mum's like. that bitch doesn't even have adhd. shes fine.#which i feel like is probably wrong but i agree with the sentiment#where is the deep dive investigation into her wholeass existence 😭#its cause she got to go private but they refuse to refer me to a private specialist so i have to keep going publuc#public#and if i go private on my own its too expensive plus the waitlist is years long#so. whatever. i guess.#man im so tired.#i will never ever ever forgive my psychiatrist from when i was 15 who said i probably had adhd but because i did ok in school its fine#and they wouldnt set the diagnosis#because the fact that i have papers from when i was 15 saying i don't have it is what's making this all so difficult#even though if you read all the papers it says i hit on EVERY SINGLE POINT#which is why the One Psych who listened to me is absolutely fuming losing her mind cause she can't understand why any of this happened#man i hate my fucking life lol
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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Some portrait doodles I did during my flight today
#if theyre rough or the lines are wiggly blame turbulence#esp on the vanessa one#vanessa kapatelis#renee montoya#vanessa bc im always thinking abt her and renee bc i downloaded gotham central for the flight#think i read 20 or so issues? my flight was 8hrs lol i had time. if ppl are curious im on a layover rn demolishing some wendys#especially the spicy chicken sandwich. that shit hits so hard spicy food i miss you#im gonna ruin my digestive system tonight with capsaicin just you wait. gonna be legendary. after a month and a half in europe god knows i#need spice.#anyways what was i saying. oh yeah i have all of gotham central downloaded on hoopla#normally wouldnt be my first choice of book but my hoopla has a pretty small selection bc i use it through the local library for my college#town and theyre pretty small#but i will always give my guy greg rucka a chance. siempre para ti gregory ruckegory 😘#but yeah. like cops. mysteries and violence and police brutality and such. interesting times#also rip stacys pink pixie cut you left us too soon 🙏🪦⚰️🕊#blah#dc comics#dc fanart#these are interesting bc you can def see its more my older style (like 1/2yrs ago) than my current bc i was not doing detail on the plane#also i dont have a tablet that i draw on so it was like stylus and phone lol
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those thoughts i had abt zephyr and the wanting to live vs wanting to stop fighting and saying "my name is" and your beloved going "i'll tell them your name if you die" got me so bad they overrode my aversion to the idea of marriage and this happened:
#yaz and 14 of course always them they are living long and mentally ill lives in my phones notes app#the offer of her name as also the opportunity to choose one thats not the doctor#he was telling her abt river#whichis why she says 24 years and also asks if he would marry her#'not proposing just wondering!' skdjfjfh#anyway i think im gonna give them a little shop now#do they marry? depends on if they figure out you can also change your name without marrying#wait can you? idk uk law#idk nl law either#i think you can but its fucking conplicated snd expensive#and you need a good reason so marrying might be the easiest way#he'll think abt his new name for 6 months and by that time he has a little shop so#he'll be like The Shopkeeper :)#and yaz is like. sigh. okay my love who is allergic to having a normal name
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what's the word for a best friend but like the kind that drains all your energy if you have to interact with them
#just got off the phone w my bsf of 5+ years and its like#you get me like no one else but idek who u are anymore and this relationship doesnt really serve me anymore#but thats not a reason to throw out 5+ years of just getting each other and that special connection we have#idk#phone call totally drained me and now im laying here upset like she said smth to me otp to hurt my feelings#she said smth to me the other day that triggered my ed#she thinks shes the only one with issues like im glad you can joke about your eating disorder but like bear in mind that i ALSO have one!#which you know about because it was something we bonded over when we met#and you dont know how my eating disorder is going because you dont listen when i talk. so i have stopped talking.#but it isnt going great! and when you brag about how skinny you are because of this or that#and complain about how you genuinely hate people who “lack the self control to be anorexic”#that harms me mentally#and you dont care because you arent joking#i recently got my christmas gift from her#which took a while to get me because she ordered it on christmas eve. and then kept forgetting to give it to me once it arrived#but she literally used the gift that she bought me and told me when she gave it to me like huh !!!#and i wasnt even upset about this when she told me because if she had asked i would have let her#but i told my mom and sister and they were soooo mad. and then i was like wait maybe thats weird#like i can understand that what she did was socially unacceptable but i didnt mind because it was her yk like thats my bsf. but now im upse#AND THE OTHER DAY i told her i dont read much fanfiction and she was like#well thats because you arent autistic so u dont know what its-#-like to be consumed by an interest/hyperfixation and have to consume every form of media associated with it#like YES I DO !!! all of my friends autistic or not think im autistic except for her#its this weird dynamic in her head where im the token neurotypical to her token autistic like idk if she just likes being the only autistic#but i feel like im so clearly autistic because idk how to mask. not that im trying to make this a “whos more autistic” contest but like#i think she likes being the manic pixie autistic chick and its so weird but im not diagnosed so im not gonna go to bat on that one w her#whenever i tell my roommate about things my bsf does my roommate is always like “im scared of her” or “real friends dont act like that”#and its always a reality check because i dont think twice when she treats me like that#but the people in my life are starting to hate her lowkey....#my mom was deadass like wow i dont think shes a good friend
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im not even done my current kuwameshi fic and im already getting ideas about new ones...
#kuwameshi#give me a sec i'll reblog later with the actual idea but like#WHAT IF UM KUWAMESHI BUT UM. PRINCESS BRIDE AU...#i also have another song fic idea but it's way sillier than the one i have on ao3#based off you me and steve by garfunkel and oates#i got the idea cos i just remembered when yusuke got back from training with genkai the 1st time and instead of a 1 on 1 date with keiko#kuwabara is also? there? and it's just so funny to me like what. and then they're supposed to all 3 go to the movies together?#AND WHEN THEY GET THERE THE 2 BOYS DITCH KEIKO?? for a mission yeah but she doesn't know that!!#and then yusuke and keiko actually go on a date alone and it gets interrupted cos of younger toguro#and shortly after kuwabara shows up so it looks like he was bound to come across them??#as far as a i remember the next time yu and keiko get together alone is the day he tells her to just wait and she's like im literally#not gonna wait for you <3 and it was so funny she just walked off lmaoo#anyway im trying to say i wanna make a silly little fic addressing the fact that keiko is like. pursuing her crush on yusuke#but kuwabara is kinda just. always there and it's fun she does like him but it's just awkward#planning on having her ask kuwa to maybe give her and yusuke some time alone like maybe just avoid their next outing#and kuwa is like oh damn :( ok good luck and yusuke shows up to the date and he's like woah wait. where tf is kuwabara?#keiko is like bruh. and she makes up some shit about him mentioning that he felt sick or wtv and yusuke is like ''then y are we here?#i should check on him. i dont think that guy has even been put outta commission by anything but my fist!'' and keiko just follows him#cos what else can she do. and kuwa is fine ofc and yusuke is like bro what gives i thought you were sick and kuwa is dense sometimes but he#catches on from keiko's desperate look and he's like well i got better *flexes his arm* and yu is like i knew you were too dumb to catch#a cold. and he's stupid happy that kuwa is fine and can come with them after all ''hey he's fine ya hear that keiko''#and then keiko is watching this whole exchange eyes blown wide open and she's like actually i just remembered i have plans#you two should totally go without me tho and yu agrees so easily that it just solidifies that she made the right call#kuwa is looking back at her all confused and she gives HIM the good luck thumbs up. he gets as red as his hair and#yusuke is worried he really is coming down with something
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im very much a beginner at sewing BUT i do think this turned out pretty charming despite all the flaws!!
#i made her for one of my best friends#its a tiny version of her cat and said cat is named tiny#never use stretch fabric as a beginner its hell to work with ough#i had fun though!! despite a few times i got pretty frustrated#i also was swearing up a storm and talking to myself quiety the whole time but that just helped me focus lmao#sewing#plushies#handmade#cat#yew branch#also someone who was there when i gave this to my friend came up to me shortly afterwards#and she asked if she could commission me for three of these bc she has three cats#i said itd prooobably be around $150 but id reduce it a lot if she paid for whatever new fabrics and matching thread id need#id be charging that high because this single plushie took me eight hours#but also the girl has a stetched septum at my goal size and i asked if she still has the various sized jewelry she used during the process#and she said yes and that she would be delighted to give them to someone who is just starting the process#she said she would give me them for free but if she does commission me im gonna give a further discount in exchange for the jewelry#her bf arrived to pick her up unexpectedly early though so she had to leave really fast bc he refused to wait :/#so i didnt get her contact info. but literally everyone at that hangout knows her so i can just get her contact info from them#im pretty excited about this tbh itd be wonderful to have motivation like that to get back into sewing#even if she doesnt end up commissioning me its still a confidence boost that she asked me!!#also the friend whos birthday it was (shes a new years eve baby!) LOVEDDDD this plushie im so happy she cried and gave me the Biggest hug#so im delighted about that i forgot how much i love giving people handmade gifts aaaa#and her mom said it looks like itd be in a folk art museum???? which was sweet but i dont really think so...? it did make me happy though!!#im also going to sew various gifts for other friends for late christmas stuff bc its fun :} and i really love giving people gifts#making things for people and surprising them with said things brings me so much joy like every time i make someone happy with smth i made#it feels like it adds like 5 years to my lifespan#i might go start working on another friends gift rn im in the mood to Create... axel if you see this brace yourself#not gonna tag this with rambles bc its my own post i have the right to be chatty#yew sewing
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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dark academia oscar!!! does he wear those shirts with the frill collars too and the high waisted pants lol?
HES GONNA LOOK SO GOOD WHEN I HAVE TIME TO DRAW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was thinking those fancy plaid pants with the high socks and fancy brown shoes with like. a long coat and maybe like a fucking insufferable sweater vest over button-up shirt vibes......im sure madam springs tried to put him in the fucking poofy shirt and he went "this isnt the 8th century anymore madam" followed my a whack on the head
#he looks SO PROPER!!!!!!#lady magg-lynn is so proud#lime being like (you look fucking goofy lmaoooo) vs oscar (you know i think ill go ahead and tell mochi about you--)#lime: NO WAIT I DIDNT MEAN IT#hes gonna look cute!!!!!!#i want oscar to wear those fancy shoes and soft sweaters hgngnfnnnf soft boy#a rediculous amount of layers#and also has one of those cool doctor bags for when madam springs sends him on home visits#which is 90% of his job#nice to have a properly dressed cryptid#instead of the fucking merchant in a poncho and sulluvan in 300lbs of dark robes#OOOOH IM GONA GIVE HIM SUSPENDERS!!!!!!!!!!#SUSPENDERS OSCAR WAS AN IDEA I HAD LIKE 4 YEARS AGO BUT NEVER DREW IT#oscar and lime looking so cool and professonal like real adults meanwhile coco is wearing her dads old beat up shirt#and taffy is wearing a fucking bass pro shops hat#mochi dressed like she just came out of forever 21#those three just feeling fashionably inferior to the people with real jobs
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just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service
(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?
#Thanks for the ask !#HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect#based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop#saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which#is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because#you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy#i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane#and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a#knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one#when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid#so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from#nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and#beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees#to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and#nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the#gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes#other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to#walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and#eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when#he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a#girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever#kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to#find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus#like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy#when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate#ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition#because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would#give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a#shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...
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i think people have gotten so afraid of scams that they forget how to be kind to people. like obviously don't wire half your money to a nigerian prince but who cares if the homeless person i gave an extra $5 to was just trying to scam me for money. it's $5 and there's a pretty good chance they needed it more than me
#idk im just thinking about like#'dont give money to homeless people they might be faking it or spend it on drugs!!'#also if they do spend it on drugs idc about that either#one time our exmom said she met 2 people (said they were fairly young too) and said they asked her for some money#and she said im not gonna give you money cuz youre gonna spend it on drugs but theres a sandwich place nearby so i can get you sandwiches#and she came back with the sandwiches and they were gone#so obviously they were just looking for drug money#and looking back im like. or they didnt want to wait 30min in the heat for sandwiches esp if they didnt know if you were actually coming#back or not. or one/both of them had an allergy/food intolerance and they can't trust complete strangers to give them food#or maybe they WERE looking for drug money. so what the world sucks ass
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at this point I’m doing DT prep for two people 🧍♂️
#me crafting the food and the potions and the other stuff—#it’s not like I’m upset about it I just know my friend is gonna be all flustered about doing the prep when she made the prep sheet#all the way back in April#but I cannot clean out ur glamour dresser or buy ur ventures or clean out ur retainers#like u gotta do that urself#OR get all the crafting and gathering collectables to hoard#it’s like. per the spreadsheet we need 150 of these deserts#we need 1500 palm sugar#it takes 6 syrup to make 3 sugar#I will let u all do the math on that one#but I s2g at this point I’m not giving her any of my sugar bc I’ve been the one getting it#bc it’s like. I worked to get this sugar. you gotta get it yourself#I sent retainers on those ventures but I’ve also sat and gathered syrup for hours too#it’s the same w the other ingredients too like. I’ve been collecting this shit#it’s just kinda like. I’m very :/ about it bc i know when DT drops and we get into crafting and gathering that im gonna hear the complainin#or im gonna have to sit and twiddle my thumbs waiting for her to get caught up#it’s the same w crystals for crafting#idk it’s weird. im having fun but its fun I’d rather be sharing#owen talks
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also had the weirdest experience at work today.
#i was in the back doin my pull n i hear over the headset one of my baristas tell me that some guy needed to see my store key for the locks??#n i just was like. HUH. UH. NO?????#so i went out there n was like. what are you here for????? to this random bald man n hes like oh im a DM we were looking at the locks#n i need to see your key to see what brand of lock it is and i was like. UM. no?? Who Even are you again?????#n this man is like oh i dont have my business card there in my car n im even MORESO LIKE. OKAY. UM. NO I CANT DO THIS??#this random bald man pulls out his DRIVERS LICENSCE n is like look my name is ____ im a district manager#i just look at him n go. okay. i hear you. im still gonna call my store manager bc this is sus as hell. im not gonna give you#my STORE KEY random bald man#WHEN MY SM PICKS UP SHES LIKE. WAIT. WHAT? WHO? n im getting more and more sussed out liks boss lady im gonna need u to come here if fhis#man isnt whp he says he is n also get OUR district manager out here#but she jus goes. okay. hold on. let me call __ (our district manager) n this random bald man is like. oh look! here! shes (dm) is calling#he talks to her n hands me his phone n it IS my DM n im like. i can show him my store key?? okay.... shes just like yeah. hes legit hes real#just a pain in the ass n im just like okay sorry bc it probably wasnt supposed to be a whole ordeal for him but iM LIKE. MAN. YOU JUST ASK#FOR THW SSV N THEN ASK SAID SSV FOR THEIR STORE KEY LIKE. but hes like. dont worry! dont be sorry you did everything right lol it was a very#weird thing to ask for. n like. YEAH thanks random bald man were om the same page! he did end up giving me his business card lol#but yeah. that was. so weird. n i just was like. 🧍♂️🧍♂️#my sm called me afterwards n was like. you talked to dm? whatd she say? n i go. just that hes a real person lol idk smtg abt the locks#shut up danny ur dumb
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I love my friends
#i think im just going to talk in the tags for a moment. got a lot on my mind#for starters. the fnaf movie comes out soon. really looking forward to that. think its gonna be awesome and amazing and I'm super excited!!!#secondly. waiting on funds so i can buy that mask i saw the other day and some Halloween candy from Walmart#i . want to do little goodie bags for the kids in my building. but im too scared to go up to their parents and ask candy preference and#allergy concerns. so. idk. maybe I'll just save it. I think it's a cute concept but it makes me feel like my mother.#she loved to do little gift things for people. but it was always people that didn't like her. i don't want to be that way#i know my value. i know my time and energy means something. i don't want to waste it on people who don't give a shit. ya know?#not saying the kids are those kinds of people. not what i mean. but just as an overall thing. i don't like being like her.#...yeah. i dunno. you get raised by one person your whole life. you pick up some of their characteristics#i can't sob without sounding like her. safe to say i am a little emotionally constipated. so i seek other means to relieve that feeling.#like yesterday when i threw up. i played it off like that was a blunder on my body. but i know what i did.#hey. at least it's not the other method. right?. .. yeah. okay. i know. not great either#but it hurts. and I'm so fucking sick and tired of crying over her. genuinely. it's exhausting crying all the time#but that's the only way I can get those emotions out#I've tried to do the counseling thing. but other things made that impossible. then i moved.#and i tried the grief thing but instead i just got a talking buddy? he helps me get out of the house yeah.#but we dont talk about her#... i dunno. I'm just here.#guess i waited long enough. now you get a mini secret. every time i make an i love my friends post. I'm reminding myself why I'm still going#I'm usually sitting around somewhere in my apartment (desk couch bed) crying. alone. thinking about you guys.#so uh. thank you.#i love you guys so much. and i don't know where I'd be without you#probably dead.#💖#vent
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ohhhh i hate when someone is trying to help me with something and they clearly like. cannot help for reasons out of their control. and i just hate hearing them sound so defeated and apologetic and just like. hearing the shame in their voice like it wasn't your fault it happens it's ok,,,,, i am not angry at you you were not the one who caused this pls its ok,,,,
#i have this lawyer trying to help me get SSI or something like that#and every time we've tried to call the offices about that they just will not pick up#and every time it happens i can hear her getting more and more frustrated and it seems like this is directed at herself which makes me sad#like she won't accept a 'have a good day' anymore she just does the kinda 'im not having one but im not gonna say that' silence#which i Get i do that all the time#and like she just keeps apologizing for having to postpone appointments further and further out#but i mean it's january new laws are being enacted it's a confusing time for legal shit right now#and not to mention social services in my county are so fucking ass#like job and family services just no longer exists in my county. they shut that office down and now i have to go three cities over instead#and the ppl who do ssi and ssd are literally only open on tuesdays and thursdays and that's IT#which means if we have two failed appointments in a week i just have to wait until next week#and if their line is busy they don't fucking put you on hold???? they give a busy tone for a while then an automated voice pops in#saying hey we're busy rn. and then immediately hangs up#like. the fuck???????#anyway nice lawyer lady this is not your fault and it is okay#it's those shit fucking ass governmental offices
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