#im gonna explode myself with a car bomb

[headsplit2008]

what is [redacted]? ...is there a weird gay thing going on here ..? aka caves' third theory (THIS theory gives important context for this one!)

Obviously, by the end of 'open', it's implied that [redacted] is santiago cheating on his girlfriend. But... i have reason to doubt this, and reason to believe that [redacted] has more to do with jamie than one might initially think. Just to preface, this theory operates under the assumption [redacted] is NOT the name of a yet-unmentionned girlfriend. If I turn out to be wrong about this, uhh uhh i'm sorry. idk

I think it's safe to say the comic is very clever and well-thought out. it's safe to assume there is a LOT of intention put into the details (for example, the tall girl's jacket having an owl. more on that some other time). So if there WAS a girlfriend, why wouldn't she have been implied to already, even implicitly? when santiago thinks about jamie and the tall girl, his thoughts take their form. when he thinks of the hanna(h)s, we see them.

but there's not even an implication to him even blocking or scribbling out a 'girlfriend'. it feels incredibly odd, for someone who would presumably be so important to him- it's just always jamie this jamie that. i feel like there might not actually be a girlfriend, and that the girls on the couch claiming santiago cheated got a watered down, broken-telephone version of whatever the actual events of [redacted] are (i mean, they thought santiago was mexican, and jamie's childhood friend-- i don't think they're the most reliable of sources.)

I thought at first mmmaybe santiago's gf cheated on him, maybe even with jamie, but on second thought i don't think that holds up. santiago keeps talking like jamie did something to him, specifically. santiago is already furious at jamie PRIOR to the doorslam, citing how jamie does 'this' (does what?! embarasses santiago by making a scene?) 'every damn time'.

this is also something santiago is implied to have liked about jamie, in the past- how jamie would invite him along and go out of his way to make him feel included/a part of things. So what changed?!

Santiago later says, 'why do i keep forgiving him?' which implies jamie has done things on the scale of (or that santiago INTERPRETS as being on the scale of) the doorslam before. but we don't see them, just like how we don't see [redacted]. This makes me think [redacted] and whatever jamie has done are connected, if not the same.

We know [redacted] is something santiago is made very uncomfortable/upset by the mention of, but jamie is able to say pretty easily. we know santiago thinks everyone hates him for some reason. we know that santiago has hated around the last 3 parties he's been to. we know santiago USED to enjoy parties, mostly because of jamie's company and influence. but isn't this the exact same situation as before, jamie bringing him along to try and give him a good time? what caused his opinion on jamie to flip so extremely, when he seemed so enamored with him before? santiago says to jamie, 'things changed, why couldn't you?' ...so what changed? how is it that he wants jamie to change, and why, when he used to be glad to hang out with him as is? this, and the fact that 'brain/silhouette jamie' brings up 'people at parties' (notice how it says PEOPLE, not JAMIE/'HIM') in rebuttle to santiago's defense of jamie,

means the 'people' or 'person' being implied to here is not jamie.

...could it be santiago himself? then santiago's insistence 'he didn't mean it!' 'he doesn't mean it when he does these kinds of things!' works as a double-entendre; he's also telling himself HE didn't mean whatever he did.

Santiago is scared of being recognised on page 8 of open, but is relieved when it's just from the doorslam.

I think this means he's done something (he at least thinks is?) big/public before that he's afraid of being recognised from - this could also explain why he assumes everybody hates him and wants to kill him, because he hates himself and is projecting his own shame outwards. Even though jamie assures him people at the party don't know about [redacted], he still has an inflated idea that Everyone Knows What He Did. This makes me think [redacted] is also whatever 'thing' he doesn't want to be recognised from.

So... if santiago is afraid of being recognised publicly, and he's furious with jamie for previously 'doing something' with him that was public, or... 'open' (as is the name of the chapter)... I think [redacted] is something both jamie and santiago took part in (with maybe santiago doing whatever the more 'visible' part of it is? or maybe it was just a bigger deal to santiago than jamie); probably something jamie has done before/is known for, but santiago hasn't/isn't. when jamie leans down and says 'i'm so sorry.' santiago is obviously... moved? sad?? something!! it's obviously not just his reaction to jamie apologising for the doorslam specifically. jamie has done something in the past that santiago wishes he would apologise for properly.

alright. here's the kicker that all this buildup has been heading towards: i think maybe jamie and santiago may have kissed/made out (probably drunk), and did so where other people could see it. santiago may even have initiated it.

This would explain why santiago freaks out that the girls say he 'cheated on a girlfriend' (they never say who they think he 'cheated' with!)- he's freaked out that people know he kissed jamie (jamie could also be mistaken for a girl because of his long hair!). It also explains why he suddenly hates jamie and wants him to change: he wants to keep being friends, but doesn't want to risk it happening again (&rather than examine within himself why it happened, he pins it on 'how jamie is'). And why he thinks people hate him/want to kill him; because he (a guy) kissed another guy. this could also be why, even though he's so rageful towards him, santiago keeps hanging out with jamie-- he might feel like he's stooped to his level, and that it's on him for going along with or initiating it. a 'he's made his bed, now he must lie in it' kind of thing. all the things he criticizes jamie for, and the intensity of his anger at him, make a lot of (if not more) sense if you look at it like he's projecting his own anger at himself.

(↑ +also why is he imagining jamie's UNDERWEAR?? WTF??????) he thinks other people hate him for what he did, but jamie doesn't. jamie doesn't judge him for it (probably because it wasn't a big deal to him- which may even be another reason santiago is so upset about it), so even if santiago blames jamie, he still... kind of needs him, in a way. it's a weird combination of self-harm and validation. this might also be why he 'keeps forgiving' jamie- because he wants to forgive himself, too.

this also adds a new layer of significance to the amount he stresses calling jamie his friend- not only is he trying to stop himself from being mad at him, he's trying to stop himself from thinking of him as anything more.

There's also some metatextual evidence supporting me that these ↓ are just some of. im not pulling this out of my ass right?? these ↓ r straight from the source. like am i sniffing mold spores or is some 5d chess im too dumb to understand going on here.

n e weys thats all for now. let me know your guyses thoughts 'cause im totally open to changing my mind on anything, if theres any holes in my logic please poke them, i kind of want to be wrong but this is the best explaination i could come up with based on what we've got so far. if anything this thoery probably says more about me than the comic, lol....

[dude-the-ancient-dragon]

Ok so I have been persuaded to finally share

The Poop Story

on Tumblr dot com. Hold on to your butts.

Ok so I was at work on site A. I get a call, there's an equipment failure on site B and I need to check it out, it's important but not urgent. By this time I was the whole IT department for a major food company for the whole city.

So, I get my stuff ready and start heading out. And then It hits: The twist. Everyone knows the twist, it's your lower intestines letting you know there's a bullet in the chamber that it needs to fire. But im in a Hurry, so I decide to just make the fifteen minute drive and drop the payload on site b.

This was a mistake.

Halfway into the drive the twist hits again, and it's Bad, I need to go now . It is by this moment that I understand that this is no normal bomb, by lower intestine is baking a loaf of pure evil. Im getting the twists, the hot sweats. Five minutes more and im exerting considerable force not to dirty my car.

My folly hits me, I should have gone to the toilet back on base. Im driving into site Bs parking lot and im crossing my legs and tightening my abdomen, so I don't explode right there and end my social and work life forever.

See, because I worked in an industrial setting, there were strict protocols to enter the site. The security personel knew me by name and face, but they still could not let me in without authorization from the warehouse boss, and today of all days that asshole is not answering his phone.

So im exerting all of my physical and mental power not to shit myself there, covered in cold sweats and shaking. "He's not answering, let me try again Dude" says the guard. My Ki is focused on my sphincter, im non verbal, all I can manage is a weak thumbs up, my forehead nearly making a hole on the concrete building. They could probably tell something was deeply wrong with me but I was beyond the capacity to notice or care, im fighting my own battle and boy I am loosing.

A couple of minutes of waiting and the sense of impending doom hits me. "Im gonna have a butt baby" I said to myself. "Im gonna give birth to a butt baby in this guardhouse and there is no human power in the world that can stop it. I am dead, Im walking and shaking but I am dead."

And that's when the man answers. Yes Im allowed in obviously. I don't wait for confirmation, I sprint inside, race to the bathroom knocking over man and beast aside, sit down on the throne with a fraction of a second to spare.

You know how when you go to the toilet, you do your thing and you feel satisfied? Good? At peace? It wasn't one of those. It felt like I was exicising a tumor, like I was giving birth to the antocrist. I carved my name on the porcelain with my fingernails. When it ended I was in pain and crying, It was out, now the healing can begin. All I need is to flush.

And it wouldn't flush. I start to panic. It won't flush. I dumped a biohazardous lump of hate, It needs to go before it kills us all. I try washing my hands, there is no water. I recite the mantra of a thousand fucks. This will kill the whole building.

Thinking fast, I do the only thing I can think of, rapidly improvise an "out of order sign", stealthily tape it to the toilet door and pretend nothing happened. On my way to the failed hardware (I was there to work after all) I find Charkoe, the head of maintenance.

"Hey Charlie, since when is the water out?" I ask in my most casual of tones. I did not mention it was me who essentially made the entirety of this postal code unlivable for the next decade..

"Since today, in the morning, should be back in the afternoon" He does not suspect a thing. I need to leave right now. So yeah, I fix the printer (label stuck in the roller, simple) and flee with both stealth and haste. Before making it out I notice, to my horror, the cleaning people where going into the restroom I had marked and immediately ran out, gagging.

I was not back there for the rest of the month.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3544

today felt like it was fifteen million years long.

started with a bomb threat at solothurn. then a man threatening to explode himself in paris. and being short-staffed in security. and literally nothing else. it was so boring today, and that's even with my crocheting. plus i was super tired so i did my best to not nod off but that blanket is super cozy.

i don't think i fell asleep. i had my hand on the mouse and i found out that if i get tired, my fingers drop and it right clicks on something. which i don't want to do, so i'll immediately snap back when it happens. it was so tiring today.

BUT i did give jey his gift, which he LOVED! im delighted. he said, "how did you know about my love for cartography??" and i just shrugged. i found them when i was helping him look for furniture and i knew it would fit with the vibes he had going for his apartment, so i got them. i've had them in my car for about two months - since just before i got sick. but yeah, he loves them. and i'm really glad. also it never occurred to me that someone might not love maps?? who the fuck doesn't love maps?????? i mean, i specifically don't like mercator projections but that's because they're fucking terrible. but old maps? that's my SHIT. fuckin love maps. of all kinds. i love maps.

he also repeatedly called me an angel, so that was also very sweet of him. he's a sweetheart. and the funniest part?

he shares joel's birthday.

aaaaanf speaking of joel! our anniversary is tomorrow! five years. five!! longest and healthiest relationship i've ever had, by a significant margin. i was gonna hit up bova's on my way home tomorrow, but i might order some for delivery instead. save myself some time lmao.

anyway, after work i took myself to joann fabrics again to get the correct yarn for coya's blanket. the other yarn i need to return. i also got more embroidery stuff. i'm gonna do some kitchen towels for her. probably put simon on them.

anyway. lots of projects. i work really slowly.

i also got in some more kits! i'm excited!!

time for sleeping.

[dahniwitchoflight]

Homesquared Chapter 16

Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?

Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)

“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “

pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening

OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy

Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”

JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so

and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?

Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out

ROXY: but so far so good

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol

The narration is really trying to make John nervous though

OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that

“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“

lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD

Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want

Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want

JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.

JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?

JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?

JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?

JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?

JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.

JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.

JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.

JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.

JOHN: it DID feel good.

JOHN: i DO feel free.

JOHN: sorry.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize

ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn

JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening

because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues

remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had

Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him

now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be

John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?

ROXY: but like now that u mention it

ROXY: *meaningful pause*

JOHN: …

JOHN: i

JOHN:

John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

JOHN: yeah ok.

Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it

Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!

oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha

and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde

Lil HAL

lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD

This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?

That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though

that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone

Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that

lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.

Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)

Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda

CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.

CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".

CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.

yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far

CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".

yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t

one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility

More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real

CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity

that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol

but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is

Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)

It’s all inter-related I tells ya

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

You say that now but

CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.

CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!

CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.

yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else

time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along

that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room

same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb

the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are

CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.

CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.

CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.

CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!

So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else

nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also

JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?

CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.

CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.

JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.

CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U

CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.

CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing

JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?

JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?

CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.

CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.

JOHN: oh.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse

the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative

Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.

CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.

ROXY: its total bs is what it is

CALLIOPE: right, yes.

CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.

CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure

To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this

or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead

is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop

Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either

and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences

That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event

And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh

ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense

ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance

and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it

But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again

and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself

ROXY: thx babe

ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or

JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.

(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)

so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now

that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose

John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you

Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man

John: I didn’t say the word gender-

Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later

John: Hmm, later then. :)

Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)

shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[arandomsewer]

Reacting to Batman vs TMNT

Part 5:

-so Mikey gets to ride off into the final battle in the batmobile with Batman.

-(deep breath of pride and content)

-meanwhile, Robin goes in the turtle's wagon.

"So you ride around in this thing, on purpose?"

Well, sorry kid, not everyone has a multy millonary dad! Some of us live in the fucking sewers

-aaand the wagon changes, and it can actually outran the batmobile.

Don't mess with Donnie's stuff.

-oh shit, the turtle's wagon can actually BLOCK RAINING BOMBS

-Robin screaming in the back

And falling of the seat 'cause Leo drives like a hooligan and he's not used to that

-Donnie's up for shiiit

-yeeeeah good shit, Donnie!

-Raph just punches the guy.

He just punches the guy

-batgirl throws 3 retromutagen dosis to the one pigeon monster. And Elephan monster chases them. Where is she?

-Leo, drives like a hooligan

Donnie, hanging upside down knocks on the window "hey! We're still up here!"

You know, cause he's used to Leo's driving, but he's just a bit too much today 'cause an elephant is chasing them

A ninja elephant.

Its a bad day

(Me, in my post apocaliptic car, if I were in the scene) WHAT A LOVELY DAY!! WHAT A BEAUTIFULL DAY!!!

-oh, there's Batgirl

-well, fuck retromutagen. Lets blow up the elephant.

-the foot soldiers manage to hold down the batmobile. Can't blame that on the turtles!

-yo fucking kidding me. A ninja t-rex.

Not even a humanoid t-rex, a full on giant t-rex, its only traces of being human, a broken mask and bandages.

-I guess they decided to experiment a little bit more with the ooze, and they had amber.

-"Mikey, press some buttons"

Mikey "IM GONNA HIT EVERY BUTTON!!"

Robin, with the face of a child who's father is rich, but doesn't get to eat pizza "I allways wanted to do thaaat"

-the Shreder expects to be paid, unlike the Penguin

-aha! Shreder gets ONE jab at the green cape guy

-"tipical. Batman sends children to do his work for him"

Ooooohhhh thats a nice jab!

-oooooh so a Robin did die in this dimension!! And he just mentions it like that. No explanation, no context.

-everybody is fighting. Robin wants to fight and he pics Stockman.

-ooooh no!! DONNIE!!!

-he's in the machine. His arm is broken but he's in the machine.

-carefull with the buttons, Mikey

-wait, was that Splinter's voice!?

-GHASP! Leo's sword!

-kick him in the balls. It would be so cool.

-oh shit he did kick him in the balls!

XD that's ninja stuff

(Ironically true)

-oh shit yeah TELL HIM LEO!!

-I don't need to say it, but I will: the animation is awesome

-Batman said cowabunga

-SHREDER HAS SPLINTER'S SCAR!!!

!!!!!!!!!

-ok Im kind of offended, that Donnie didn't get to do his thing with the machine, but Mikey's solution's cool too.

-"wait, we're riding it. Do we want it to explode?"

-he beats the Shreder and Im like 'KILL HIM. KILL HIM. now that you get the chance, kill him. For a better future for New York!!'

-aaand he just fell on the chemicals

-oooh they save the soldiers! See? That's a side of Batman's character they don't show us often

-squeeeeee we didn't get much of it, but I like the relationship between Donnie and Batgirl

-now picture Alfred using the skateboard

-AAAAAW BATMAN AND ROBIN EATING PIZZA WITH THE TURTLES

your father handing you over some pizza. That's bonding level cowabunga

-the credits roll, and I still have hopes of getting and extra scene with Splinter

-no? Well, the covers are good toó!

-oh hey, we have to recount the points! So, it was...

Griffindor: 40 points. It was just not that kind of movie.

Ravenclaw: 85 points. I knew it coul get better!

Slytherin: 100 points! Really good, guys!

And the first place and the cup of the house, is for Hufflepuff, with his 150 points!!

-oh come on!! We get another look at Shreder but not at Splinter?

-well. To sum it up. THIIIIS WAS SOME GOOOOD SHIIIIT!!! GOOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE MHHHHMH IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF! GOOOOOOOD SHIIIIIIT!!!!!

[epiphanyksj]

TELL ME ABT JK DURING UR CONCERT IN LA !!!!!! HE LOVES LA N U DIDNT TELL ME ABT IT IN DETAIL !!!!!!💞💕💖💓

oh god :(((( HHH!!!!!! ok im literally gonna go through this event by event. so I WALKED INTO THE ARENA with my friend to go find my seat and there’s a moment of silence before the beginning of danger’s mv begins playing. and up on the screen is jungkook playing outro: propose, that really pretty dramatic piano part. and let me tell you i literally burst into tears AT THAT MOMENT because it was just so overwhelming to realize that i was actually there and going to see them. and then there was the vcr and they all looked. So Good! i literally said “oh my god” so many times during the concert it was unreal i mean ive told you about this but yeah on to actual performances (read more)

so all this fire starts torching into the air and the stage lights are flashing everywhere with this dramatic music with heavy drums (think mama 2016 fire-esque). ok so im rewatching the vid i took as i write this and im laughing because everyone else is like “TRAADE OFF” and from me you just hear this hysterical “CHOO CHOO” OK thats not the point. i could barely focus in the first performance because i could not believe they were real but like he’s GORGEOUS they were all so gorgeous n i wanna gush about the others too but this is a jk ask. he is So Stable and powerful i dont know how he even does it. so after they finish performing they begin their ments…. when it goes to jk he kinda looks up like “:o its my turn” but then he goes “WASSUP” and he’s so sos ofuckginfg pretty he glows and his eyes and just his face at that point i screamed “I LOVE YOU… (weakly) jungoo….” and then he also said LONG TIME NO SEE he has the cutest voice :(.

when he starts singing in save me… his voice is so beautiful. and i already said it but his dancing is so powerful. n the way he looks at the camera… you feel it in your soul. and his voice is so good in im fine!!!!!! i was not, in fact, fine. the part where he falls to the floor then suddenly looks up is so intense.

but incredibly he looks absolutely ethereal when he stands and sings. this might sound weird but like…. the way his eyes are half closed is so pretty and he looks at peace. even more so when he closes his eyes all the way. ive said it so many times but his eyes literally are so captivating. all of bts look unbelievably good in person. also there’s supposed to be a fanchant In Magic Shop During The Instrumental Break But Nobody Did It but i faithfully went through all the way anyway.

n then. THE GOLDEN DUO VCR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! theyre so cuuuteekjsdhdskjfh :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( like it was just such a happy pure colorful lighthearted vcr!!!!!

ok not to be cheesy but i literally got goosebumps and started tearing up when i heard his voice say “euphoria” in the silence. the pretty guitars start coming in and he’s revealed on the stage. he looks so at home when he sings it and there’s golden light all around him and he’s smiling. but when it’s not the chorus the lights are a blue color and it reminds me of the ocean in the music video. he really puts so much into his singing and just his overall performance. and when he does the high note in euphoria and the golden confetti explodes into the air and shimmers in the lights.

he puts his hand to chest often when he sings like he’s feeling it in his soul. but he also jams out really cutely! he jumped around during run a lot (and yet is ridiculously stable still) and his hair is bouncy! he headbanged a little too :( at the end of run during hoseok’s part he took out his earpiece to listen to us. his part in dna with tae is so iconic!!! rapper jk!!!!!!!!! literally even just the way he sings “DNA”!!!!

he asked us if we were having fun!!!! babie :( (side note tae is SOO cute when he talks in english). also the army bomb ocean was so pretty it was a range of colors from yellow green to purple and it was this amazing gradient.

then. Then. 21st century girls. Came On. but i need to save this gushing about the song itself for the next ask. all of them gather together to jam out in the center of the stage! afterwards jk wanders around! YOU SAY YES OR NO YES OR NO WOOAAAHOHHH

this goes for everyone else too but when he sings in gogo its like the words are just rolling out of his mouth if that makes sense.

but the transition to bst. unreal but im also saving that for the next ask. god and i keep talking about jk’s dancing but seriously him and the entirety of dance line are a serious force to be reckoned with. his voice when he sings his parts is so light and fluttery.

you shouldve heard me during his rap part of boy in luv. i was like “APPAAAAAAA” “EOMMAAAAAA” “PYEONJIIII” “MWONJIII” like i think those technically aren’t his lines but that whole section. and they cut straight to the bridge instead of doing the second verse and jk’s voice there especially combined with jimin and jin. and he holds the high note!!!!!!!

but his rap part in danger. hard fucking core. he’s so talented it’s unbelievable. this man does not hesitate when it comes to bangers or when it comes to headbanging.

airplane pt2. he saunters onto the stage like nobody’s business and sits and kicks back on that damn chair with his sultry ass voice. his falsetto is gorgeous when they do that part before hoseok’s airplane rap and at the end of the song. and i know it’s only part of the studio recording but when he does the “ah ah” part i lose my mind. the way he sits with the other members surrounding him just emanates this air of power and regality but almost in a casual way like “yeah we’re royalty, what about it?”

his outfit during fake love is perfect. all of the outfits are so good i could gush about them all day but alas this is a jk ask. his sleeves are see-through and he has shiny chains going across his chest harness and i’m sure you could find pictures of it but i hadn’t looked at concert pics beforehand so i was in shock at how good the outfits were. it’s like some performing beast is unleashed from jungkook during fake love. he’s absolutely in the zone and i couldn’t take my eyes off him because his presence is so strong especially when he’s in the center. it’s like he moves his body and projects his voice perfectly to the flow and energy of the song. fake love as a whole is so captivatingly intense it’s like you’re under a spell when you watch them perform it.

ok im burning out i can only write so much DSKJHSDF but the truth untold. it’s like he transforms into full angel form at this point. his voice is incredible and his harmonies and pitch and the emotion he puts into it. also everybody say thank you stylists!

he also has such an aura during mic drop. everybody does but it seriously is honestly such a great track live because the energy is dominating and in that moment you really know that they absolutely do own the whole arena and set the stage on fire. ugh! and the strength that he has during the dance break at the end of mic drop!! unreal!

also i can’t imagine genuinely truly hating so what. like i see so many people saying they hate it but you know that when you hear it irl that shit makes you JUMP and they have so much fun on stage especially jk! we like to make fun of him for his shoot dance but seeing him go across the stage enjoying himself so much makes you feel just as much joy as him :( at this point would it really be a performance of so what if he didn’t do it?

at this point i knew that so what was one of the final performances n i was like. What. because it really passed by like a blur it didn’t feel nearly as long as it supposedly took and before i knew it they were performing anpanman so i HAD to cheer up because that song is so cute. and jk is all smiley when they perform it! nose scrunches and all! he actually gets up in a normal way during namjoon’s part. his eyes are all big and sparkly and playful and it feels very boyish!!!

N THEN DURING THE ENDING MENT JOON CALLED JUNGKOOK “MISTER COOL GUY JK” AND JK WAS LIKE “cool guy!” n then like “make some nooooiiiise!!!” n he was smiling doing his cute scrunch and rewatching this like. ive said it 50 times already but he’s seriously so pretty. his eyes are lit up and his expression is bright and there’s a blue light shining on him but his EYESSSSS :((((( he has a slight accent which is rly cute but his pronunciation is also really good and it feels like you just want to hug him really tight even though he’s sweaty but like Would I Complain.

his voice in answer: love myself is so smooth it’s like sitting in a warm patch of sun with a cool breeze looking up at the sky. ok i know i said i was burning out but am i really. rewatching the videos makes me so happy. and his harmonies were so nice. and he was moving side to side really cutely! like one of those figurines you put on the dashboard of your car and they dance side to side! n he’s so full of love. they were all moving their arms side to side and the army bombs were moving along with them i want to cry watching it again it’s so weird thinking that i was actually there it felt like everyone in the audience became one with all the members on stage jk was acting cute and he and all the members were waving to everyone in the audience in the pit and the further away and upper levels of the arena.

for a really long time i’ve never been able to pinpoint the happiest moment or memory of my life everytime ive been asked about it. for lack of a better answer i always left it vague but ever since the concert i can easily say it was the happiest i’d been in a long time and possibly ever and i wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything else in the world

[inmortalshapeshifter]

"yeah. he's an orphan" either these riddles are piss easy or my mind just works like this naturally. we'll never know *shrug*

!!! teehee, he's waddling like a penguin <3

>chases you and crashes your car

>ties you up

>shows you photos of dead bodies as an intimidation tactic

>has an epiphany

>ignores you

>leaves

wooooow guys. you're so fucking rude, at least give him a ride to somewhere closer to civilization ffs

ave maria motif my beloved <3

"dropheads" ah, the orphanage is full of homeless people. the fact that they're *possibly* addicts is maybe not what you should be focusing on rn jimbo

THOMAS WAYNE AAAAAAAAHH

"shall be visited upon the son" yes the riddler fucking HATES bruce wayne and hearts emanate from him when he thinks about batman. the identity porn of it all <3

LETTER BOMB LETTER BOMB

"your package has arrived" *explodes you*

...alfred is just. what? you just opened it? thats obviously the riddlers handwriting. its fuckig plain to see whathhe fuck!?? dumb bitch *facepalms* i know he survives so i can say without guilt that he deserved this lmao

..that was surprisingly sloppy though. riddler babyboy, did you actually want to kill bruce? i dont think so *thinking face* i think he sent that for shits and giggles only and if bruce wayne died (like a fucking idiot) he would have been delighted.. but mostly he just wants him scared

!!! oh here it comes. he's gonna spraypaint the hardwood floors, like an asshole *clenches fist* i know you're having A Time bruce but ffs DONT

the sins? of MY father?? its more likely than you think.

all the files on renewal have been acquired. !!! selina <3 ooooh, he's using his regular voice, not the batman one 👀 and his face is so open and vulnerable and *screams*

"her body was in his car. im gonna find him and make him pay" FUCK YEAH, KILL THE BITCH >:D

"BECAUSE HE'S MY FATHER" not gonna lie, that makes his behaviour towards her uuuuh, even worse!! goddamn i wanna kill the bitch myself now!!! also bruce is wrong here. selina is right. simple as that. god bles <3

"strangled" wait a minute. didnt anni die from strangling too? oh this is so fucked up. also, gotham has no free daycare and im unsurprised yet very sad

well. at least he apologized :/

"you assume the worst in people. maybe we're not so different after all" Wow Batman! the writers let you have TWO narrative foils!? :O

"are you just, hideously scarred?" "yeah"

that line works on SO many levels, its pulling so much weight. but at the same time i cant help but laugh uncontrolably. like

selina: how big is that dick 👀

bruce: Small. leave me alone

"what, do you live in a cave?" yes he does!! and that's definitely part of the problem <3

"just dont make any moves without me, understand?" Bitch! piss off >:(

...yeah that kiss is definitely a manipulation tactic. but she liked it a little Too much. she's attached now 🤣

[gravityfallsweirdgirl]

Doctor midnight- episode 1-john’s origin

Doctor midnight: I wasn't always like this, There was a time when I used to be happy, a time When I used to be normal When I used to had a family.

It happened three years ago when I finished high school I became an accountant at the bank, And the best thing about this job was every day Get to go home to see my beautiful wife Diana and our son Charlie, just when I thought my life couldn't get any better it took a turn for the worst. It started like any ordinary day, when I was being promoted to assistant manager, and I have been selected employee of the month. Just then I was being called in the office by my boss mr. Richard

John: did you call me mr. Richard

Richard: have a seat hunter

John: I pulled a chair and sat down

Richard: Hunter As you know you're the best accountant we have in Goldmen's Bank,

John: thank you sir { but he gave me a unpleasant look}

Richard: I have a Special job for you we're expecting a unwelcome visitor coming by and every week  he ask For a loan for cigarettes, alcohol, and expensive stuff that are cost more than the car you have and it has been out of control I mean look at his last income. I need you to tell him we're cutting him off and he needs to pay back. How would

John: okay but what's his, what Those he look like

Richard: he's name tony Antonio DiMaggio he looks like this [he hands me a picture of him

John: I nodded my head, I won't let you down sir ( I waited until 3:30 apparently he likes to be fashionably late he was taller and wider then anybody i ever seen he makes the security guards look weak. He had a black and red striped suit With a fedora and had a gold tooth and there was a scar over his eye, he smiled at he, it sent a cold chill down my spine and I felt sick. I seen men like him, he was the one of the kind that like to laugh at other people's pain, watching people suffer, he was a mobster he made his way to my desk, his smile was getting creepier by the minute. Mr. DiMaggio is an American-Italian mafia who can kill anyone with the snap of his fingers.

DiMaggio pulls out a cigar and Lights it up

DiMaggio: you know what I am here for

John: (He blows smoke in my face) cough, cough, yes I'm glad you're here cause we need to talk about your last income

DiMaggio raise his hand

DiMaggio: I Am need to ask for another loan, for I am what you call business man, I am Making a marketing product on selling exclusive gun. I am having them shipped from Russia as we speak these weapons are special they came from Tokyo

John: (I was confused)

DiMaggio: I am needing 1'000'000 dollars for bullets and gunpowder.

John: Sir with all due respect, a thousand dollars is a lot for gunpowder and bullets

DiMaggio: it's a special kind of gunpowder

He mushes his cigarette against my family photo

That's when it started I tried to tell him no in the kindness way as possible.

John: mr. DiMaggio as much as I love to help you, you're idea and product sounds dangerous and illegal, not to mention you owe this bank a lot of money( his face turned to a glare) I'm sorry sir but until you pay your debts we're cutting you off.

He gets off his chair and slams his fists on my desk.

DiMaggio: YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM CAPABLE OF.

John: I'm sorry sir but you're debt is overdue You are paying for stuff that you don't need

He then grabs me by the collar of my shirt Pulls me closer to his face and whisperers

DiMaggio: Now hear this you either give me the money or I can make you pay

John: sir please I'm just doing my job, don't Make me call security.

DiMaggio: you don't know what I've done and what I can do

John: SECURITY

The guards grab him and force him to leave

DiMaggio: your gonna be sorry you rejected me

He screamed at me I then thought to myself was that a threat,  John: did he threaten me Mr. Richard grab my shoulder and told me not to let it worry me, but throughout the whole day me. DiMaggio's words repeated in my head over and over it became the time to punch out the clock, I wished everyone a good night and drove home.

I thought seeing my beloved family might get my mind off DiMaggio I couldn't be more than wrong

When I drove close to my house I see three cars parked in my street funny thing, one of the cars look exactly the one DiMaggio had, I then hear screaming it sounded like Diana I ran inside my house and I see DiMaggio with two men next to Him, two Holding my son and Diana I stepped inside more,Then I heard the door slam, I turned to see another guy in a gray suit. He then punches me I ended up on the floor with blood coming out of my mouth, pining me down I was struggling to move. DiMaggio walks slowly to me I felt my Heart racing as he lit another cigar, he puffs in my face

DiMaggio: I told you that you we're going to pay

He goes for his pocket and pulls out a gun and looks at my wife, walking towards her, my heart began to beat fast

John: DiMaggio wait let my family go, I the one you want, I can pay you back please just let my family go ( not listening to me he aims the gun at her I started to panic) DiMaggio (i scream) please my family means a lot to me I'm begging you please (I was begging for mercy on my family)

DiMaggio: I like you John you're just like me, I have a family to support too, you see life is like a game, if you go by the rules you win, but if you cheat (click bang) John: nooooooooo you lose

I watch in horror as my my Diana lay dead, I saw what he's done, I saw him shot my wife, I looked away crying, His men let me go, I ran and hold my wife In my arms

Diana: John

John: Yes Diana (crying)

She Pressing her Palm against my cheeks

Diana: save...... Charlie.......... ( she shut her eyes) I buried my head in her chest and told her to stay with me.

I hear DiMaggio and his men laughing at my pain and suffering

DiMaggio: well time for the jr here to say his prayers (click) {he aimed his pistol at Charlie}

I lifted my head up and stared angry at DiMaggio

I charge at him like a quarterback and slammed him away from my son, I  kick one goon in the shin and I punched the other in the chest

John: RUN CHARLIE

Charlie: but dad

John: RUN

I saw Charlie run to safety as I fought DiMaggio's men off but they we're to strong

DiMaggio:( he painful got off the ground) get him [he points at Where Charlie Once was]

John: NO

I tried to stop the man from going after my son but three other men grabbed me, the next thing I knew I hear a gunshots, I felt my heart stopping, knowing I lost my only son. While one man hold my hands back the other two started punching me on both sides for my cheeks, then my chin, then they started kicking my chest, I ended up with a split lips, broken ribs, a blackened eye, a broken nose, bruises every on my face and body. Just when I thought I had enough DiMaggio walks towards me Lifts my face with his cane

DiMaggio: let this be a reminder to you that when you mess with a mobster you get claws

John: that..... doesn't even make sense

I spit on his Face which only made things worst for me, he grabbed the back of my hair pulled my Face down to the floor painful

DiMaggio: It's too bad you Won't remember this lesson ( I open my eyes widened as he spit in my hair)

His men tied me to a chair and placed a bomb on the dining room table I watched all his men leave he stands there dropping his cigarette on the floor

DiMaggio: sorry it had to come to this but I did say you were going to pay

He smiles and closes the door luckily for me I grabbed a knife when his men weren't looking I had one minute to escape, the clock was ticking, I was rushing. I cut the rope as fast as I can, I was Finally free, I ran away from the bomb but I didn't have enough time to reach the door the bomb exploded, it didn't killed me and it sent me flying into the ground, I was Face splat on the grass,I looked up slowly and painfully and saw my house on fire, I then turned to see DiMaggio driving away. Angrily clutching my fists My life started turning downhill after that I ended up, I started walking in the woods.

The song as you are by the weekend plays It's just me and you

They couldn't see what I see in you

Yeah, 'cause I believe in you

You're the only one I choose

Even though you break my heart

Even though you break my heart, baby

I know what we are, our love's too young, oh baby

Even though you break my heart, my love

I'ma need you, I'ma need you, I'ma need you, yeah

Show me your broken heart and all your scars (oh yeah) (John starts walking in the woods)

Baby, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take you as you are

I'll take you as you are, yeah

Show me your broken parts to know your flaws (oh yeah)

Baby, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take you as you are

I'll take you as you are, yeah

The end of episode one

[zairehyun-blog]

can you do all of the ask things? 🙈

OH GOD 

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

mic drop - btstraining wheels - melanie martinez drive - halseydo i wanna know - arctic monkeysnicotine - panic! at the disco ready for it - taylor swift 

bonus: forever - exo, earned it - the weeknd, & cherry bomb - nct 127

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

fhgjfkjhgf maybe my mom

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

answered

4: What do you think about most?

answered

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

from my twin and it says “I FUCKING SWEAR SQUISHY YAWNED”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

ok it depends here. it depends on how cold it is and if my boyfriend is willing to share his shirt but normally no

7: What’s your strangest talent?

i’m like really flexible for no reason??? 

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

answered 

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

i’ve had my sister’s stalker write a poem abt me akfjdhskl 

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

answered

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

no lol 

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Wh- who does that-

13: What’s your religion?

answered

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

trying to go back inside no but probably taking pictures of the sky to show my dad lmao

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

answered

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

fdhsfjk between exo or bts

17: What was the last lie you told?

i told my dads that my sister was the one who broke a lamp ASFJSD

18: Do you believe in karma?

answered

19: What does your URL mean?

answered

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

i talk abt my twin a lot but, being away from her literally drains me of my energy, and i’m not sure abt my greatest strength lmao

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

this mAN

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

answered

23: How do you vent your anger?

i write it down or i tell someone im really close too

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

of very long sweaters lol

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

it depends,,, im a really talkative person so i guess both

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Kinda, I’m still learning who I am, so I can’t answer this yet. 

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

answered

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

answered

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

tHIS HOUSE IS FUCKiNg haunted no one tell me otherwise and, i do because how can we be the only species in the entire galaxy?? it doesn’t make sense

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

I touch my boyfriend and he looked at me like “what the fuck are you doing” asghsjf i also touched a pillow

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

answered (still cologne) 

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

fcuckIng school

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

I love both :(((

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

fdhjfkdfh i don’t know lmao

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

mansae - matthew 2k17

36: Define Art.

the way he looks at me

37: Do you believe in luck?

Yeah

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Perfect tbqh

39: What time is it?

8:40 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes and no

41: What was the last book you read?

Alice in wonderland

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

ADJFHSDjfk i don’t like it but i also don’t hate it

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Zaza, Z & then my korean name (which I won’t state.)

44: What was the last film you saw?

“IT”

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I broke my pinky and now it can bend in weird ways

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

YeS GHJDSKF

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

I’ve been getting into more animes and I’m getting back into cosplay lmao

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

answered

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

answered

50: Do you believe in magic?

yes i am a magical little bean

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

it depends on how wrong the thing they did was lmao

52: What is your astrological sign?

Pisces

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I save it and then I spend it on other people HAHA

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

i bought myself a promise ring (for smth personal agfhkjsf)

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

to my lovely baby (’:

57: How many relationships have you had?

2 but if you count this one then 3

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no

59: Where were you yesterday?

at school & i went out to dinner C:

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes 

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no

62: What’s your favourite animal?

🦄

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

tbh my hair or my charm lmAo

64: Where is your best friend?

She’s in Seoul >:c

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

answered

66: What is your heritage?

Korean, Japanese & Arabian

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

eating

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Satan is his last name his first name is Lucifer

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

answered

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yes, honestly. That’s what I aspired to be, to be what my younger self needed.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

ILL SAVE THAT FUCKING DOG LIKE IM ABOUT TO DIE FUCK MY JOB. IM NOT LETTING A DOG DIE

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I’m not sure if I answer all of these so I will

A, I would but I wouldn’t because I wouldn’t want anyone hurt but I know that they would be hurt even more if I didn’t say anything so ??? 

B, I would spend it with people I love 

C, Yes. 

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

ASFJHDS love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

DIAMOND BY EXO AKSFDSJK

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

answered

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust & communication

77: How can I win your heart?

^^

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

We’re all a little mad.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

saying i love you

80: What size shoes do you wear?

11

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“we’ll love again we’ll laugh again and it’s better off this way”

82: What is your favourite word?

adventure idk why

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

well i think of andi but i also think abt him.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“FATHER SUE HIM/HER/THEM”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

mic drop

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

pastel colours & black and purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

my twin, her fiance, my nephew, my boyfriend, my parents & myself lol

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

my sister’s stalker

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

I’m not sure lmao

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I’d would be like “how thE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE, and u can stay if u want just don’t be a dick.” then i’d let them stay and i’d be the real mummy of the groUP IM SORRY

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

FLYING/TELEPORTATION

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

When I said i love you

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

what she did to me that night akfjhgjfdks

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

,,,baekhyun,,,,

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

BACK TO OSAKA TO SEE MY FAMILY 

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

my uncle

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no

98: Ever been on a plane?

yes

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

answered but that i still love my boyfriend 🌷

[sunwisher-blog]

Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now

Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now

Call 1-855-637-4055 for our Psychic line as low as 66¢/min lyrics: Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time I feel alive and the world it’s turning inside out Yeah! I’m floating around in ecstasy So don’t stop me now don’t stop me ‘Cause I’m having a good time having a good time I’m a shooting star leaping through the skies Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity I’m a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva I’m gonna go go go There’s no stopping me I’m burning through the sky yeah! Two hundred degrees That’s why they call me Mister Fahrenheit I’m trav’ling at the speed of light I wanna make a supersonic man out of you Don’t stop me now I’m having such a good time I’m having a ball Don’t stop me now If you wanna have a good time Just give me a call Don’t stop me now (’cause I’m having a good time) Don’t stop me now (yes I’m having a good time) I don’t want to stop at all… yeah! I’m a rocket ship on my way to Mars On a collision course I am a satellite I’m out of control I am a sex machine ready to reload Like an atom bomb about to Oh oh oh oh oh explode I’m burning through the sky Yeah! Two hundred degrees That’s why they call me Mister Fahrenheit I’m trav’ling at the speed of light I wanna make a supersonic woman of you Don’t stop me Don’t stop me Don’t stop me Hey hey hey! Don’t stop me Don’t stop me Ooh ooh ooh (I like it) Don’t stop me Don’t stop me Have a good time, good time Don’t stop me Don’t stop me Ooh ooh alright Ooh I’m burning through the sky yeah! Two hundred degrees That’s why they call me Mister Fahrenheit I’m trav’ling at the speed of light I wanna make a supersonic man out of you Don’t stop me now I’m having such a good time I’m having a ball Don’t stop me now If you wanna have a good time Just give me a call Don’t stop me now (’cause I’m having a good time) Don’t stop me now (yes I’m having a good time) I don’t wanna stop at all La la la la laaaa La la la la La la laa laa laa laaa La la laa la la la la la laaa hey!!…. Click here to return to positive music list Read the full article

[haught-at-waverly-place]

answer all 65

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? nah other life exists 

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 2 on days i watch too many vids about murders 

3. The person you would never want to meet? trump 

4. What is your favorite word? melancholic  

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? willow 

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? i have a nice jaw 

7. What shirt are you wearing? a black long sleeve 

8. What do you label yourself as? uhhh idk 

9. Bright room or dark room? daaaark 

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? playing apex legends 

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 23 

12. Who told you they loved you last? @goddessofthewildland

13. Your worst enemy? myself lol

14. What is your current desktop picture? some space pic 

15. Do you like someone? may haps 

16. The last song you listened to? malibu nights by LANY 

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? trump 

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? trump 

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? 

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) my jawline for sure 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? i dont even have known talents 

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? bees 

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.turkey and cheese man with some bomb ass gluten free bread 

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? videogames 

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? germany 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? captian morgan spiced rum my drink of choice 

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? no men 

29. What is your favorite expletive? fuck 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? my computer 

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? all my dumb mistakes 

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! is the a question im so confused 

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? my grandpa i miss that man so much 

34. What was your last dream about? i dreamt about videogames like a nerd 

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? person yes 

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? no 

37. Have you ever built a snowman? so many a giant one even 

38. What is the color of your socks? grey and orange and grey and pink 

39. What type of music do you like? alternative 

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunsets cause it means night is starting 

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? 

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

43. Do you have any scars? surgery scars and a scar from a guinea pig bite 

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? successful 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? confidence level 

46. Are you reliable? super reliable 

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? will i be happy? 

48. Do you hold grudges? my mom says yes but i disagree 

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? none man fuck that ish 

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? 

51. Are you a good liar? uhhh idk i dont lie much 

52. How long could you go without talking? probably a while 

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? long hair 

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? nah i dont bake or cook 

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? nope 

56. What do you like on your toast? butter and cinnamon sugar 

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? some random stuff 

58. What would be you dream car? a subaru wrx wide body kit 

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. i  live out my favorite fantasies 

60. Do you believe in aliens? fuck yeah 

61. Do you often read your horoscope? nope 

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? a 

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? dinosaurs 

64. What do you think about babies? some are really ugly 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

[thequeerexpoditionist-blog]

1-64 cutie

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? What does this even mEaN2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 1 3. The person you would never want to meet? Trump yo4. What is your favorite word? Probably "yo" since I use it all the time yo5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Willow 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? Ew7. What shirt are you wearing? This is funny sorta, but a tie die shirt I made for my ex that I never had the chance to give to her aha8. What do you label yourself as? a fuckiN LESBIAN9. Bright room or dark room? In between 10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Thinking about some stuff11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 1712. Who told you they loved you last? My sister 13. Your worst enemy? Uhh myself yo14. What is your current desktop picture? Pictures from pride15. Do you like someone? Indeed I diddly do16. The last song you listened to? Earth17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Idek probably no one bc I'm a nice bitch18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Oh boy the list is VERY long19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Trump and make him gET HIS SHIT TOGETHER 20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Uhhhhh 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? Literally the same way since eVERYONE THINKS IM A BOY22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Not really 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? What does this even mean 24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. You know pb&j is pretty bomb25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? lol totally not on my animals 26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Dude that's a lot of pressure but I've always wanted to visit new zealand idk27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? This is dangerous to answer I'mma stick with some O.J. 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? I'm not good with big responsibilities like this29. What is your favorite expletive? fUCK30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? I have this flash drive with basically my life on it, all my pictures and poems and whatnot so definitely that31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? I don't want to talk about it 🤷🏻‍♀️32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Damn idk like Canada probably 33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? One of my close friends.34. What was your last dream about? I proposed to someone and it was all wild and there was this cute, brown dog there35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? Fuck up? Yessss36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Yes a few times 37. Have you ever built a snowman? A mini one in '08 lmao 38. What is the color of your socks? Grey39. What type of music do you like? All types honestly 40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets 41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? I'm lactose intolerant man42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) I don't really keep up with sports but I support the ones who were protesting fo sho43. Do you have any scars? Many44. What do you want to be when you graduate? Theatre teacher 45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My mood swings tbh lmao 46. Are you reliable? Yeah I think so47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How you be48. Do you hold grudges? I try not to49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A lion & a shark bc those are my two favorite animals aha50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Any conversation with my sister 51. Are you a good liar? Eh not really 52. How long could you go without talking? Not very53. What has been you worst haircut/style? This one rn bc it's in the awkward stages of growing back54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Yes55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Yeah 56. What do you like on your toast? Grape jelly fukkk57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? An ocean wave58. What would be you dream car? A jeep59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. I sing hella loud yo 60. Do you believe in aliens? Yeah there's somethin out there61. Do you often read your horoscope? Sometimes 62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Y63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs are cool and all but dragons are cooler 🤷🏻‍♀️64. What do you think about babies? Loud lmao