#im gonna be loud about caring for people and basic human rights

[calling-the-angels]

I needed this. I have a draft I've been going back and forth on posting where I talk about how I've always been in the "people are inherently good" camp and this election shook that belief.

But now, a few days later, I still think people are inherently good. They're just ignorant, whether willfully or kept that way through propaganda. And I can't change everyone's view, but I can still be kind in a country that's much more selfish and cruel than I thought.

Someone has to be.

I don’t regret being optimistic, by the way. I will never regret thinking better of people than maybe they deserve. I don’t know how thinking the worst of everyone always makes the world a better place.

[kawaii-butt-crust-core]

Rise of the TMNT headcanons because I feel uhhhsodk emotions or something

Warnings: anxiety , gore mention, trauma/PTSD mentions, kidnapping, yelling mentions, claustrophobia mention, if I missed any please lmk ‼️‼️

Donatello ( my favorite hands fucking down )

LOVES "it's always sunny in Philadelphia" and relates to Dennis wayyy too much

( also made a joke about how splinter is frank and he was actually cool with it )

Likes those HYPERBOP and songs like that

At 5am and raph is waking up for the day and he finds Donnie in his room fully awake

"Ive been up for 3 days everything is haunted everybody's evi-"

He also likes twentyone pilots

House of gold, taking my time on my ride, and car radio are his favorites

Actually hates monster ( like the drink ) but he has a can in his room from 2020 that he just poured out for decoration

( honestly I can't even really hate on it I think 2020 just ruined it LMAO )

Has no blankets. Sleeps with a single sheet and a unwashed unsheeted pillow.

Is one of those people that people mistake for way older

Yokai thinks he's at least 18-20 and get so freaked out finding out he's actually just 14

( he loves the attention )

He actually likes HOMESTUCK 😭

( this is based on my friend who likes Homestuck and they remind me of Donatello to some degree )

Has a fan that hasn't had a break since 2016

Maybe longer

Has seasonal depression

He likes to be with April or doing something during the winter because of it to distract himself

April and raph are good with helping him

Leo knows but he knows to just stay out of his way and leave him the fuck alone

And Mikey hasn't really been told because Donnie feels like he's burdening people with his problems ( he didn't even want Leo to know but he just caught on )

He even feels guilty for dragging April and raph into it

Him and Mikey LOVE LOVE LOVED spiderverse

( Donnie got the movie illegally before it even came out )

This mother fucker definitely fell to his knees for spider punk im so sorry

This same mother fucker also probably loved Danganronpa...

He doesn't really like southpark but some episodes get to him

LOVES GHOSTFACE

TO ANOTHER LEVEL

NO ONE CAN LOVE GHOSTFACE AS MUCH AS HIM

Actually probably has purple injected into his veins

"yeah my veins bruise in the blink of an eye and I can't move my body sometimes but so what? It was worth it??"

hates on dream so hard....

DONT HUG ME IM SCARED AKWNWJJF

ALL OF THE BOYS WATCHED IT ( maybe not raph tho actually )

He actually made discord ( idk if I'm even joking or not )

Would this be a good time to add a picture of what I think human Donnie would look like?

Uhhh yeah

Yeah I think so

Ok next

Leonardooooooooo

Just fyi this shit is gonna be so angsty

It will dip I promise

He can't get enough of those "drake the type" memes

But also low-key he is drake

Has a hello kitty clock in his room that actually works for him

He was that annoying ass kid who would say "I can scream like a girl" and then scream to the top of their fucking lungs

The ADHD was tooo muuchhh

So he just basically climbs walls who cares

He's on the ceiling? What's new.

Ok so spieerpunk had don to his knees but Leo was all for Miguel

" NOOOO MY SPIDER PAPIIIII- " *splinter right fucking there*

Daddy issues just crawling out of all of their skin ANYWAYS

Can't draw for shit but loves art

The way he words things makes him sound like a complete gaslighter but he's just stupid

"?? I don't gaslight?? HUH no seriously what did I do?"

The Mario movie possessed him for a while tbh

DIP!

even hours after him returning from the prison realm he was dissociating so bad he was crying to feel something

Just a few weeks later, he isn't better yet by any means he's just ok enough to function

Someone dropped a plate or something ( I probably need to rewatch the scene before I make headcanons for it LMAO ) or dropped a pot, something loud

And he practically went down with it

He fell to the floor and stayed there for a bit

He didn't cry or say anything

Then Mikey tapped his shoulder and he fucking SNAPPED

He will never forgive himself

🫶🏼

The CRUCIAL NIGHTMARESS

*rubs my hands in evilness*

He could feel the same AIR as the prison realm at times

He smelt the same scent

Raph, draxum, and Casey had to sleep in the same room for a while so they would hear him

But sometimes he didn't loudly jerk himself awake

Sometimes it played through and he woke up and didn't make a peep

Sometimes they knew and sometimes they didn't

Most of the time one of them would just wake up because of instinct and see him just frozen

Can't handle gore now

He used to but can't anymore

It reminds him of 1

The kraang

And 2

Seeing his brothers eye all fucked up like that was too much

There were times he didn't even know who he was anymore

He was scared to leave his room for a while and felt such bad guilt for it

While they're out on a mission and Leo's just curled up in his room blowing up raphs phone

Raph wishes he could say something like "oh how the tables have turned" but this isn't what he wanted at all

Uhh ok sudden switch up

HE LOVES BO BURNHAMMMM

Him and Don and Mikey listen to Will Wood

SHAYFER JAMES TOO

JUST THOSE TYPES OF ARTIST

Mixed with late 90s to early 2000s

"erm.... what da flip ;-; NO STFU IM JUST KIDDING STOP BULLYING ME ITS A JOKE-"

Him if he was a hummmaannn

+ maybe some scars on his back

Raphael

Blind in his one eye and low-key has bad eyesight in his other one

He can still see decently but it's pretty much fucked

He likes squishmellows but he knows Mikey LOVES them so if he buys/ finds one, he'll give it to Mikey

He's more of a "childhood stuff animal nostalgia" anyways

Doesn't like to cuss but if he's REALLY scared, he'll let a loud and quick "FUCK -" slip out of his mouth

Or if he's angry hell mumble "this bitch-" or something like that

He feels like he's not doing enough as a brother but genuinely forgets that he needs to take care of himself

Not physically but more so emotionally

He beats himself up when making a mistake even if it was out of kindness

He doesn't think things all the way through and just immediately jumps to "I wanna help people!"

And ends up making a bigger mess so he feels like a bad person

( people have reassured him he's not but he plays back how people get mad at him when he messes up and he doesn't know how to forgive himself if someone got THAT mad at him )

He sometimes just gets this burst of love and just hugs one of his siblings or friends

I think he doesn't develop feelings easily ( infact it's kinda hard for him to, not in a bad way )but one time there was a yokai, about his size, and they really enjoyed each other

He didn't tell anyone but he got her number and they still talk and he might have small feelings for her

The reason he hates being alone because it's a PTSD thing ( that only got worse after the kraang thing )

( he was alone and in danger for most of the movie, the only reason he wasn't freaking out because he knew if he did he was fucked )

And he got possessed before he could even lose his shit

But basically I think he got kidnapped by a hunter and held him captive ( either chained, or in a cage ) for 2 days before splinter found him

( yes they searched for him for 2 days )

The hunter would shoot his gun next to the cage ( or restraints ) he was in to purposely mess with him

And if he cried he would get in his face and start yelling until raph forced himself to stop crying because of fear

It was traumatic

Splinter has his own trauma from losing his fucking kid for 2 days, but it still fucks with raph badly

He still remembers it so vividly that it feels like it had only happened a week ago

So add that in top of the kraang doing what they did to him.....

He was only holding it together for Leo tbh

He can't go to certain areas or he'll start to hear the hunter yelling in his face again, like a hallucination

It's gotten a little bit better over time but the kraang set him so far back

He was also already claustrophobic, but if anyone tries to hold him down now he just immediately throws them off

And hard

Anything that really reminds him too much of the past he just starts freaking out

So he doesn't like to be alone :)

I could do a separate post for this maybe

But moving on

Any early 2000s song from anyone or any 2000 themed song is his SHIT

They did a karaoke night and he did Brittany spears ( yes I know that's like late 90s but yk THAT CATEGORY )

He put on a blonde wig tho and was actually kinda feeling it at some point

He LOVES walking around at night

Just strolling

He loves food. He eats everything

There is nothing he won't eat

He just loves everything

I forgot his scar sadly but here 😔‼️💔

( the nose piercing is fake he's too scared to get one HELP )

Mikey:

This lil shit STEALS

HE USES HIS INNOCENCE TO HIS ADVANTAGE

And I sleeps fine at night with all of it in his room.

ADVENTURE TIMEEE

he loves cartoons

Adult cartoons, children cartoons

If it's animated he wants it injected into his spinal fluid

His music taste is everything

But he really likes indie / indie rock songs

Has all of his art and drawings hung up on his walls

There's maybe one or.two posters he actually bought the rest is his art

Loves spiderverse but he couldn't even enjoy it because he kept looking at Leo crazy with this out of pocket comments

"I wanna pick him up like a baby lion and wash him and feed him milk and release him back into the wild"

"*deadpan* Leo. What the actual hell."

Draxums favorite. Only Mikey knows he's his favorite. If anyone asks drax who his favorite is he says he hates everyone equally and looks over at Mikey

Speaking of drax I think they're vent buddies

Drax vents to him Mikey vents to drax

Drax was very helpful with all of them during the time they were all fucked up from kraang

He even got them into therapy but I'm gonna make a draxum section because I love him ( I lied he's my favorite character, then Donnie)

( God I love drax and Mikey so much let me go on a rant rq )

Apart of draxs training he could definitely pass as a licensed therapist

So if really anyone has some sort of mental thing going on he's there

Even for Leo ( even tho Leo didn't really want his help, that quickly changed tho, again I'll just put this in his section✨ )

But Mikey has these really bad panic attacks that even his brothers don't know about

Only splinter and drax

Splinter is there to comfort him and drax is there to let him talk about it

Mikey doesn't want his brothers to know because he's technically the "therapist" so splinter and drax will never tell anyone

Watched MSA just to make fun of it

Also says cringe shit because he thinks it's funny like Leo

"GYATTTTT....... Y'all know I'm joking right-"

Loves Lilo and stitch

Has an art Instagram with over 1000 followers

LOVES SPICY FOOD

He ate the spiciest chip and then asked for another

Loves spooky month

Fought leo for that damn hello kitty clock

Then stole it

" I'm in your walls :3"

He ate a like 2 handfuls of orbeez when he was 5 before splinter caught him

HUMAN

Draxum:

MY ACTUAL FAVORITE FUCKING CHARACTER AAAAAAAAA

YES I absolutely believe he could qualify as a therapist and he absolutely uses that to his advantage

Leo was still "ish" about draxum but he became a lot more appreciative of him during the times that raph and Casey couldn't be there ( like missions )

He even took time out of work to be there

If he called? He's already almost there

He absolutely a mom IDC he even has the messy mom bun

Mikey calls him dad and that's part of the reason he's his favorite

"honey, it was ruined when she bought it *snaps*" ( I'm sorry ) ( I have to draw this now)

LOVESS BLANKETS

Like all the blankets

The resting bitch face is so real

He has to be leaping for joy happy to maintain a happy face

Goes to Donnies room and tells him to lay his ass down ( he doesnt )

Sends millennial memes to the boys....

*insert a cat smashing on a piano* he's wheezing.

Him and Mikey paint together sometimes

Because he can actually paint super fucking good

Scars all around his body

HUMAN FORMMM

Thats all ill probably make more for April and Casey and splinter

[mallowmaenad]

my new political ideaology is that I get a device called the dipshit detector that removes self-important white people’s ability to use cellphones for 1 month and I don’t fucking care if this is a fascist dictatorshit i actually would turn joe biden into joe woke and donald trump into pronoun trump if i see one more loud mouthed straighty act like their opinion fucking matters im introducing their shy 9 year old son to my little pony i cant fucking take this shit yes fuck it throw republicans in concentration camps they’re practically begging for it they wont shut the fuck up about how theyre gonna be hunted down and killed wish granted bitch blam blam its wabbit season bitch im sick of liberals im sick of voting im sick of norway if youre even slightly uncomfortable around gay people you should be set on fire black power asian power jewish power latino power and i fucking mean it im not just buying the stupid 30$ tshirt on fckhate.com the worst thing to ever happen in american history is abraham lincoln not publicly executing every confederate general and outlawing slavery full stop we literally live in starship troopers we are trapped in a shitty gmod half life dark rp server yeah I do think you’re basically a terrorist if you go to disney land and i also think that if the first words out of your mouth when the rustbelt gets set on fire is “those dirty rednecks deserve it” ill show you a fucking redneck you fucking yank prick you fucking racist i wish hilary clinton would explode on live tv charitys are fucking fake theyre as fake as those cardboard towns in north korea oppenheimer was a limpdick pussy and fallout is becoming a game franchise that fetishizes the mass genocide of asians and i want todd howard pinned under a large rock for it spec ops the line wasn’t ugly enough there is a conspiracy started by the cosmetics, nutrition and fashion industry in collaboration with the upper class descendants of fucking typhoid “moneybags” marys to fool the masses that fat people aren’t hot as fuck. My body and mind and soul degrade with the week because of yhe shit ass menial labor yhey made me do and the fucking lead in gasoline and world war 1 started a chain reaction of fathers beating their kids and wives because it’s cheaper to buy a gun than go to therapy because we’re fucking warhammer orks without any of the endearing mental stupidity we live in mordor. we live in fucking mordor. it literally does not matter who is president our two political parties are Nazis and Neo-Nazis bernie sanders was the closest thing to a centrist this country has ever seen. capitalism grinds up joy into a paste to divvy out on 500$ gucci toothpicks public urination should be legal rent is theft corporations are agents of satan who is jesus christ who is not jesus of nazareth jesus christ is the poster boy of white supremacy i fucking hate Hamilton white people should listen to MORE rap i want to get my dick sucked at a death grips concert. Laundromats and burger joints where you can get a meal for 5$ are far more important than police stations and walmart. pop anarchists want to personally confiscate your wheelchair uou fuckers treat yhis like a game fuckin e girls with hammers and sickles in their icons arguing about what form of communism or socialism or whateverism is right when bitch that is a pipe dream you are going to die in captivity arguing about which dragon ball z character is the strongest (girl broly) at least go punch a hole in your wall and fuck it to prove you’re human you facebook fetishist jesus christ every other day i want a biblical death just so my fucked up thouhhts mean something i need a fuckingjason vorhees bitch wheres the yandere tea party this is all so fucked up its not fucking real the christian god hates you whoever says otherwise is trying to make you a fucking slave. Mormonism and scientology should be wiped off the map any religion formed after the invention of the gun is a fucking pyramid scheme i wish i was a 9 foot toll shark lady with hugebrealssta so i could fucking knock over thechrystler building

DO 9/11 AGAIN

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13e1 lost and found (w. andrew dabb)

metallica's nothing else matters for the road so far recap? mmmk. i loved the black album.* it's in my big playlist right now! and nothing else matters was very teen angst sad boy shit appropriate for me (album came out when i was 11 and i remember it featuring at middle school dances) but this song is way too downtempo for the clips/editing as it progresses before we get to the loud parts. weird choice. and maybe shows do this all the time and it's not with songs i know well enough to notice, but splitting the song up midway through is very jarring. i get cutting down the long instrumental intro, but segueing into lyrics differently? buh. stranger things did it with atmosphere by joy division and it wasn't terrible, but noticeable. but the scene/song combo was so impactful to me i didn't care because i was a mess

the overriding theme here with this song and clip selection is like 🚨FAMILY 🚨okay bro, i get it. calm down. is this why i see people harping on how the show is about family, not just sam and dean? is this gonna be A Thing? or am i projecting? both?? i have literally nothing else i might want do if i don't watch this. but i also don't really want to watch this. sigh.

and now i'm all distracted by them using some new fancy filming technique while they're driving where they're being paced and we're seeing the conversation from the outside and it was cool at first but it keeps going and now i'm just too busy trying to figure out where the camera is and where it's going and getting vaguely dizzy.

i get what and why they're doing this thing with jack being at the station with the sheriff but also. im tired

all right. this also reminds me of hmm. combo leo in titanic and ...josh hartnett in pearl harbor?? o.0

glad sam is totally freaked out and afraid of jack, as he should be

JACK (still fondling the wall) Lucifer? No, that's not his name. My father is Castiel.

LOL transcriber! fondling?? how about touching. anyway. papa castiel it is

MIRIAM I don't know what he's told you. I mean, I can guess. Some line about how he and his brother… (deepens voice) save the world. Grr. So macho. (she sighs and speaks in her normal voice) But really, he's not a hero. He's Becky. DEAN Becky? The roommate Becky? MIRIAM You take things and break things and piss people off, and just do whatever you want, no matter who it hurts. Also, you're a giant super bitch. DEAN Well, it takes one to know one. MIRIAM So, yeah, you're Becky, and Becky needs to die.

really odd choice to go with becky for this whole story business, unless they're invoking the actual becky from the show it's just confusing. i really hope it's not show-becky.

i think these are the angels that were in the script in 12x23? got 'em in now, i guess. so i thought carver was around for s12 but apparently it switched to dabb/singer as showrunners that season

....why did the angel just stab the sheriff's kid...? i know they're generally not big on humans but stabbing one for no real reason other than some distraction seems a bit excessive.

MIRIAM: Oh, sweetie. Almost anything. Castiel, he's dead. All the way dead, because of you.

rolling my eyes. that's a reach to try to induce a guilt trip

conveniently got confirmation that jack can't be killed easily, as expected being how they talk him up like he's more powerful than anything basically for whatever reason

DEAN Okay, Chuck… or God, or whatever. I need your help. See, you– you left us. You left us. You went off. You said… You said the earth would be fine because it had me… and it had Sam, but it’s not, and we’re not. We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back. Okay? You’re gonna bring back Cas, you’re gonna bring back Mom, you’re gonna bring ‘em all back. All of ‘em. Even Crowley. ’Cause after everything that you’ve done, you owe us, you son of a bitch. So you get your ass down here and you make this right, right here and right now.

being a cynical asshole but ok scenic backdrop for this praying to chuck that he could have done in the car. and he's giving my kids when they want something. need some foot stomping. punch something and risk breaking your hand instead, good choice

i think there's a handful of reasons** but i have never emotionally connected with cas and this... angsting and preparing to burn him and all, knowing that it's all going to be walked back at some point, it's just frustrating and exhausting. and now we're mourning cas, kelly, mom, crowley....

i didn't want to be sitting and stewing over pondering the logistics of how cas comes backs so i went and looked it up. and um, okay. i'm sure i'll have some thoughts about when it rolls around.

well, suffice it to say, i didn't particularly enjoy this episode. and had surprisingly little (for me) to say about it.

**his characterization that seems to change week to week is part of it and how the show talked up his relationship with the boys but didn't match up to what they were showing us for seasons on end. and unfortunately, how some sectors of fandom are about him also i think has an effect. which is a bummer all the way around

*oh james. i do enjoy your voice. i saw them live once or twice i think, but i don't really remember it. it was in the days of the album with the blood and jizz on the cover, which people didn't like. the songs or the jizz, i think

according to wikipedia, james also didn't like the blood and jizz artwork, and says homophobic shit in his explanation. great!

[xaracosmia]

ꕥ — WELCOME TO MARE COSMIA, WADE WINSTON WILSON "DEADPOOL". 🌓

ꕥ — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: mocha age: 30 pronouns: they/them ooc contact: givemeurbread on twt! other characters in xc: aoki renji and kazama afton, oc’s

ꕥ — IC INFORMATION;

name: the merc with a mouth, the regenerating degenerate, Deadpool! also known as Wade Winston Wilson. whattaya want next, my social? HA, funny, I don’t have one :] age: weelllllll if you take into consideration. yknow. Immortal, buuuuuut to make it easy on ya that fancy little experiment happened when I was 30. so young, I know, im just a baby! pronouns: gimme that sweet he/they ray series: marvel! Deadpool comics! canon point: ooh so here’s the FUN part, my funky widdle mods, I know all about canon points so let’s sprinkle in a dash of earth 616, and we’re gonna take a smidgen of my fellow Canadian’s canon and do the movies! Don’t worry, sweetums, no spoilers for my latest trek with Wolvie 🤫 app triggers: human experimentation, violence, gore, dismemberment (a lot) mental illnesses (mainly psychosis), cancer/terminal illness, mass death

personality:

Oh boy. Who’s do ya want? Haha, i’m just joshin’ ya! I like long walks on the beach, I’m a Jim looking for his Pam, im - okay fine, the angry little cup of coffee here wants me to stay on track. Sheesh. these don’t count for the three sentences, they say.

Wade (moi) can be very hard to describe. Idealistic? Sometimes! Loyal? Usually! Consistent? Hahahahaha no chance pal. Okay, okay, let the cuppa coffee say it.

He’s right; Wade is hard to pin down. He’s sassy, a hell of a smartass, and he’s sometimes quick to annoy. Usually the response is a verbal assault or a hail of bullets. Depends on the day. He acts tough, hell he is tough, but there’s still a core humanity deep down in there. He has a strong sense of his own morality and doesn’t hesitate to willingly clash if he feels something is wrong - and he’s got a knack for helping people who can’t help themselves, such as when he did a job for a teenage girl who could hardly pay his normal working fee. [Oh, that guy. What a creep! Handled my pizza with care though :] ]

Wade tries to do good… but not always for the right reason. He wanted — [wait don’t TALK about that. Yet. Another couple weeks BASICALLY what they’re saying is when I do a good deed, it aint always for me! … Man, depressing saying that out loud!]

And yet, there’s many times where he does do the right thing, just because it is the right thing to do. He hates to admit it, but Wade sometimes does the right thing even if it’d cost him his life. [Lookin’ at you Russel!] He’s loyal to his friends, even if he can be kind of a jerk to them [Look, I wasn’t LYING when I told Althea where the cure was!] But he really will go through hell and back to protect someone.

something your muse struggles with: Wade does not handle stressful situations well. he often acts incredibly impulsively or selfishly. examples are — [YES OKAY so I MIGHT have been a little excessive in resting on dozens of gallons of highly explosive material after my wife died. Or when I shot Francis even though I could have brought him to justice for his crimes. Or when I went into the weapon X program without consulting with Van— okay maybe you have a point there, my little Frappuccino.] that being said, impulse control and acting without exactly thinking.

your muse’s greatest strength: [Dashing good looks? An extensive martial arts history? The ability to not only shoot a .22 through a cheerio but the aim to pi—] WADE has a strong moral ground. It’s probably his greatest strength - he will give people the opportunity to do the right thing even if it costs him physical pain, or won’t be afraid to fight a fight he believes in even if it’s a lost battle already. His moral compass is a very big part of who he is and why he decides to try and do the right thing when he feels necessary.

history / background:

Alright, my little Americano, this is Wade’s story now! See, it all started when I was just a little boy in Canada… I was a sickly thing. And when puberty struck, I suddenly had these sickass claws of — wait what. That wasn’t me? That was Loga— god dammit.

Okay okay. Really, it depends on whoever the writer was, but it all goes a little somethin’ like this!

Was just mom and I in Canada. Dear old pops took off so he can go chuck a fu— can I curse? When I was not old enough I lied about my age to get into the military. Special forces. They give you a LITERAL license to kill there, it was wild. They don’t let you do over the photo, mine is terrible. But, y’know, dishonorable discharges, didn’t wanna do some of the annoying shit (see also: wrong shit) they wanted me to do so that lovely little mark is on my record forever! Thanks, principal.

You know how stories go. Ya get somethin’ good and it’s yanked out from under ya. I was diagnosed with terminal cancer of uhhhh brain, spine, kidneys, god the list is long I don’t wanna read it all out. That’s when some scary looking man came by to get me to join his girl scouts and get some cool little super big boy powers!

Shit deal. 0/10. Would not recommend.

These little tests were grueling. So grueling that there was literally a pool people would bet on to see who would kick the bucket next - a Dead Pool. (See? Depends on your writer. Affogato here liked this one better.) Well, wouldn’t ya know it, good old Wade made it! My mutation formed, my cells constantly regenerated as soon as they killed the cancer cells. And my skin cells. And blood cells. And brain cells - do ya see where this is going? All my cells are supercharged, so I have a neat little healing factor just like my bestie Wolvie. It’s neat. Growing back limbs is a weird process. Makes for fun TikToks though.

Oh man, and the fun little journeys I’ve been on! Hawkeye and I had a few fun little journeys, I FINALLY got the call to the Show for little mouse man to expand my acting chops, saved the world once or twice (also killed it but that’s not gonna be canon here, don’t worry my little mod friends!) We can talk about the game but. Eh. That was more like a fever dream. A fun one!

But I’ve done it all, baby. Worked with the X-Men, my X-Force, did you KNOW I was also in Civil War?! … I mean I was hired to chase people who needed to register but. Details, details.

Lately? I go wherever the wind takes me… Or the little watermelon robot, in this case!

powers / abilities:

technically none!

inherent abilities:

Cellular Regeneration: Deadpool is only alive, in fact, due to this cellular regeneration. But basically, his cells are dying and regenerating at such an immense speed that, yes, he does heal and grow back bits and pieces, but it’s also the reason his skin is deformed. And it’s a little responsible for the whole, ya know. Slight psychosis. His brain cells also do this so some days it affects him worse than others. This is inclusive with other such things, like a higher resistance to toxins and poisons, the lack of fatigue since his muscles don’t produce the toxins that cause fatigue and aching, and making it extremely hard to feel the effects of alcohol. However, this isnt unlimited. If any of these things happen too fast within too short amount a time, it’s harder and harder for Wade to regenerate. The weapon X program didn’t exactly give him superhuman speed, strength, etc, but it is higher than your average human’s since he doesn’t feel the pain or effects a normal human would.

items / weapons:

Twin adamantium katanas: dual blades made from the strongest metal on earth! Damn near indestructible, bullet proof, badass.

Twin desert eagles: a bit of an excessive weapon, but Deadpool is a crack shot with his twin desert eagle pistols

Teleportation belt: A neat little belt that allows short to mid-range teleportation… when it likes to work. He’s still working out the kinks. Hey, he stole the belt, not the manual.

starting ability: Nada!

starting item: Teleportation belt!

would you like this character to be housed upon arrival?: god yes give this idiot roomies

extra:

You bet your butt im gonna add in those funky extra text boxes like in the comics.

Because I can and it’s Deadpool, yes, I am indeed going to be pulling inspiration from comics and movies.

Actually annoyingly sweet sometimes this man will raise his mask so Hawkeye can read his lips since he’s hard of hearing.

He has a daughter! Canonically. So, y’know, soft spot for kids.

We understand the game was well(ish) made and fun to play but given it’s a dumb as hell story so we are electing to mostly ignore it.

Did you know he looked up to Captain America. I think that’s both sweet and hilariously ironic.

Don’t worry he’s not gonna be some maniacal idiot just a regular idiot.

discord id: .maximum.effort.

[rkmoon]

Find the Word Tag

Rules: find the words in your WIP, then pick new words for the next people!

Thank you @mk-writes-stuff for the tag! Im gonna share some snippets from Project Heartless, because that's the one which has a complete draft right now. Project Heartless is dystopian fantasy with a side of mild horror. It is set in a world where you won't die even if your body is hacked to pieces, as long as your soul core is intact. So the following snippets may reflect that.

My words are fight, awake, blue, vivid

Fight

The Heartless were fighters because they were good for nothing else. Born without a heart, they were found to be unable to love, and perhaps that was why they had resorted to violence and savagery. It was a sad existence, Rainier had always thought. These people would never understand the love that made people weep with joy and cry in anguish, would never understand the thing that made people human. Because they never had a heart to begin with, they would never understand what they were missing either. More than once, Rainier wondered why people were ever born without a heart. It just seemed so cruel.

Awake (TW: mild gore)

Rainier slowly opened his eyes. For a moment, he was disoriented. Something about his vision wasn’t right. It took him a moment to realize that he couldn’t see his right periphery. Rainier noted that Serenity held an eyeball with her hand, which kind of stung and made him tear up, but she was able to pop it back into his eye just as she pulled at the blood stitches to put it back to place. Rainier blinked, and then he was seeing properly again.  "Ngghh?" he managed to moan.   Serenity gave him a smile. "Look who's awake.  Good evening, sleepy head. I fixed up your eye for you. Even warmed it up so you don't have to deal with the cold." She patted his cheek. "How does it feel? Sorry, it's the only eye we got in stock. I tried to find a shade that matched yours, but hey— maybe you'd like it being different." 

blue

"You got married?"  Rain laughed at the incredulity of Alec's tone. Of course he would be. Rain has spilled all his romantic woes about Simonne for years, only to end up married to someone who was but a stranger a few months ago. He tapped at his empty chest as he said, "Heartless now, dear. I'm not in love with Simonne anymore. And well, Vincent basically bullied Will into marrying me, so I won't have to be forced to enlist in the militia, but I think we have a good thing going. Will and I, we care for each other. I love him to bits. Not romantically, but you know… in ways I honestly can't explain." He sipped his coffee. "We're friends, but more," he said with a quirk of his lips, remembering what Blue said a long, long time ago.

Vivid - I cant find any, so I went with clear (TW: severed limb)

"In the Outer District, we settle things eye for an eye," Rain replied, and then he lifted his arm and told Danger, "Danger, cut off my arm."  Vincent's eyes widened infinitesimally as Danger walked towards Rain without missing a beat. He took the machete that was on his back, and everyone in the room stared wide-eyed as he started hacking at Rain's arm. Rain did not even wince, meeting each of the Board members' eyes, the intent and the message in his expression clear: I was one of you. Look at how I've changed. This is nothing to me now. This is the fate you put the Heartless under. Rain's arm hit the ground with a loud, wet squelch and Rain closed his eyes and took a deep breath, managing the pain. After a moment, he opened his eyes again, smiling at the crowd. "Satisfied?" 

That's all! I'm tagging @televisionjester and @thegreatbeargod-writes. Also anyone who would like to try! Your words are cute, meat, life, and rest

[bluestrawberry7]

hello my love 👋👋 have a day of rainbows and happiness

if I was at a concert: do I have to be performing I wanna be in the audience. I play violin, I've always wanted to do electric violin that'd be cool. but in all honesty I hate performing, not just cuz nerves but they're never satisfying, and then if I don't have the right emotions around it I feel like it means I didn't try. id rather play to the birds on a roof while the sun rises and everyone else is asleep.

biggest pet peeve: uhhh anything my sister does when I'm pissed. her nose is always clogged at she just sorta sniffs, she chews on everything and it's really loud, and she cracks her knuckles every five seconds (which. I taught he how to do. I recognized the hypocrisy). basically if I'm annoyed at her it's a good tell that something else is on my mind and I need to take a lap.

biggest insecurity: ig that people don't like me or want to be around me? that I'm not like worth knowing in my entirety and if I try to show myself fully no one will care. but I feel like everyone has that to a degree it's sorta the plight of human connection

favorite quality about myself: not like a one-word thing but how my parents see me? my dad always says he's so lucky to have me as a daughter cuz I'm so cool and I brush it off but like. all the stories they tell about me are me being stubborn and fierce and energetic, and they talk about all the cool things I do. I'm strong and good at violin and drawing and writing and I know a lot of things.

any pets: no :((( I'm actually allergic to cats and dogs but it's really mild and I'm getting shots. also there's nothing my evil doctors can do to keep me away from my best friends cat she is the world to me she does not like me

job you want to have: okay the dream would be like a history professor that doesn't have to do any research of their own. like most professors teaching is kinda their second thing I just want the teaching part. I wanna just talk about dumb battles and political infighting to a bunch of dopes who have to pay to see me everyday mwahahahaa. but realistically im gonna try to be like a political staffer person? not an actual political god no but like. one of the backdoor writer people who actually does all the work. in fifty years when fridays are part of the weekend and every baby gets chocolate eclairs you'll have me to thank bitch

if you could buy anything in the world regardless of price an size: a house that has a rock climbing wall and a bathtub in the fun room that's in the woods but reachable by train. there are 72 secret passages and it has a bajillion bay windows. maybe one with police mirrors so I can see put but no one can see in. and there's swingsets inside everywhere and a trampoline. and a bigass library with one of those slidey ladders. and all my friends live there together and co-raise children and we have 12 pet sugar gliders and everyone gets along and we have bacon every day.

favorite thing you own: my violin?

favorite season: whatever is currently isn't. except winter cuz I only like it for a week and then I get the depression.

this was fun @mildgendercrisis @whoareyoutheproudlordsaid @corvid-kid9 @carnelian-pimpernel @disapointmentdotcom @aligoo @steverogersstolemywife @padfoots-bf

Thank you so much!🌹 @cookieswithforksandknifes and @ant-thebooknerd for tagging me.

Get-into-it questions

If I was at a concert: I would definitely like to be a singer. I have always dreamed of having my own concert where I can sing my heart out 💕 (Don't worry, my voice is not bad!)

Biggest pet peeve : I always start clicking a ballpoint pen whenever I sit to study. I can't seem to stop myself 😭 ( my mum is very annoyed by this )

Biggest insecurity about yourself: My body and looks. I am a glasses girl so...you know, it's kind of embarrassing wearing them among my friends who can see very well. And also, my body is very curvy so that's a big insecurity ( I am sorry if I annoyed someone 😶 )

What's your favourite quality about yourself? : I love making people happy. I love the smiles and laughs so much that I am unable to bear silence and the grumpy faces🌟

Any pets ( current or previous ):

I have fishes!!! Lots of them!!! Almost 30 in total. 10 are Goldfish, 5 are Clownfish, 10 Angelfish and 5 sharks.

Also, there is a starfish ⭐ and a turtle 🐢 ( I love all of them so much 💞)

Favourite season: I like rainy season. 🌧️ The smell and touch of raindrops feels fascinating 😍

Job you want to have: I have never thought about a serious job but I really want to own a bookstore in the future with hundreds and thousands of books all around me 📚 The thought seems very thrilling!!!

Favourite thing you own: I have a collection of handmade bookmarks which I adore the most. Plus, the Shatter Me book set. ( I almost killed my brother since he touched it with dirty hands 🔪 )

If you could buy one thing in this entire world ( price or size doesn't matter ) what would you buy? :

I would love to buy the companies Rockstar Games and Electronic Arts. It would be a dream come true!!!

______________

Tags :

@ant-thebooknerd @his-littlefox @cookieswithforksandknifes @n0t-an-en3my @nqds @preetrambles @reebslibrary @adelinereillysblog @zozosnothere @wessasbitch @warnersboxers @tingraveyard13 @alastaircarstairsismybff @iminyourwalls70 @aireenwarner @thiefofthecrowns @thefunkyspoon @satori333 @bookoholic-rosie @blairrwaldorfs @weallknowyoulikeme @gracie-221 @emeraldviridiansage @dltnr @arronwarnerfan @aaron-warnerswife4 @insane-eli @bookworm1o1 @sc11vb @bookish-phile @hthn123 @usernameblackpink @yuyananana @idkmyusernamesucks @hannahmarie71 @poeticabomination @shuhuaspookie @kenjisnr1 @theesweetest-princess @ayeshad8744 @crenna @the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see @kenjik1shimoto

Forgive me if I forgot anyone!🙏🏻

(DM me @shattermelyhfmlblog if you wish to remove your username.)

[darthwheezely]

okay im backkkkk 💌 anything kinda angsty for fred pls (like a break up but theres a bit of making up at the end pls

resentment and reconciliation- f.w. hcs

Warnings: this one kinda hurt to write I’m ngl, I love you Jess but DAMN - cussing probably, mentions of slut shaming, actual smut, a lOT OF ANGST, hateful!fred

THIS WILL BE SO UNGODLY LONG THIS IS BASICALLY A PSUEDO ONE SHOT

people that might like this(?): @whiz-bangs78 @vogueweasley @theweasleyslut @loony-loopy-lupinn @lupinsclassroom @vivianweasley @oh-for-merlins-sake @kitwalker02 @tatesimper @gcdric @slytherinsunrise @lumosandnoxwriting

you and Fred were friends...

...simply friends

yep

mhm

only friends

friends that liked to casually dominate each other multiple times a week

sometimes multiple times a day

but regardless of your entirely messy relationship, you were best friends

...weren’t you?

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re so goddamn tight me,” Fred hissed as he was pounding inside of you, determined to release some kind of frustration from seeing you with George for the whole day when you both knew you had really just wanted to spend the day with Fred. Right?

“Freddie, you feel so good” you said airily as he hiked up one of your legs onto one of his shoulders.

“Yeah, princess? You like the way I fill you up so good, make you fucking mine?” When you moaned in response he threw your other leg onto the opposite shoulder, determined to show you just how much you were his, and what that meant for him. He had been watching you for months pretend nothing was happening outside this room, and regardless if you knew it or not, it had been killing him the day he agreed to your rendezvous the first time.

“Yes, Freddie, fuck, yes”

“Gonna come for me, sweet girl?”

“God, yes, Fred-“ and with a harsh thrust to your g-spot you clenched around him tightly, your body releasing onto him in a massive wave. He put his free hand that didn’t have your arms pinned above you to your clit, determined to have you as overstimulated as possible.

“Fred, please-“ you whined vehemently at his rough touch.

“I’m coming baby, I’m right here” and with a final pound he had smoothed your walls with him, the throbbing finally subsiding. He rolled his hips slowly to ride out his high, and he then pulled out, falling to your side and pulling you into his arms. He could feel your heart pounding as your breasts heaved against him, desperate for air flow where he had rid you of it all.

“We haven’t held each other like this in a while, Freddie...it’s...it’s really nice.” You whispered against his bare chest, pressing a kiss or two there. He nodded and buried his mouth in your hair, fluttering his eyes.

“I promise I’ll take every opportunity to hold you, okay?”

that was tuesday

let’s skip to Thursday morning

you had only told one other person about your complicated relationship with Fred, and that was Hannah Abbot

you trusted her, you saw her as your BEST friend

but unfortunately, good ol’ hannah didn’t really feel the same

she had it out for you when Roger Davies had confessed he had a crush on you at the Yule Ball, kissed you even, against your consent

see, he was Hannah’s date

and she didn’t like that very much

to top it allllll off?

she had been casually crushing on Fred ever since she had her heart broken by Roger

so now here you all were, seventh year and you assumed as per usual that everything was fine

when clearly, unbeknownst to you

this bitch saw you six feet under

so Hannah did what she knew would hurt you the most

she told Roger :)

“Please he’s absolutely balls deep in love with her, but poor thing doesn’t know she’s using him for a roll in the sack.” Said Hannah, filing her nails in the courtyard. Roger looked at her absolutely dumbfounded.

“No, Y/N, isnt like that. And besides, Fred’s a good mate of mine and...She just wouldn’t do that to him. Feelings or not, she’s not one to use people.” He shook his head starting to get up from the tree he’d been leaning on.

“Well, she used you, didn’t she?” She purred demurely. He turned to look at her, jaw clenched.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He gritted out.

“She’s making him her personal whore, exactly like she did when she rejected you at the Ball...I mean...cmon, Rog. Don’t people deserve to know who she really is?”

everyone had heard the next day how Y/N was fucking Fred Weasley like an Olympic sport

and how he wasn’t the one coming out on top for the first time

at first he didn’t know what he did when he walked into the Great Hall to stares and whispers

George had tried to get him to go back to bed so he could bring him food

but fred demanded answers

and when he found out what it was

...he was crushed

You walked into the cascading staircase, bounding up the stairs. It was Thursday night, you and Fred’s night to be alone while George and Lee would be hanging out. You walked into the room to see Fred, throwing things onto his bed and looking angry and...hurt?

“Fred, what-what is all this?” He didn’t look at you, just continued to pick stuff up off the floor, and got one of your bras. He threw it at you.

“It’s all your shit, Y/N. Might as well help since this is the last time you’ll ever be in my room. Or around me again quite frankly.” He started to look down again and keep working but he heard you whimper and his eyes flashed up to yours. He started to laugh harshly. “Oh my god, stop.” He rolled his eyes and threw his arms out. “You got what you wanted from me didn’t you, Y/N? Quick shag and no feelings and knowing you had an entire fucking human being completely and utterly devoted to you with, what did Ron say? ‘Half the commitment’?” He smiled at you but it was one with rage, with tears pooling at his eyes, pain emitting off his body in hot waves. He didn’t even know he was shouting.

“I mean, Jesus, I’m in love with you and you got to go on and-and fuck whoever you want because guess what at the end of the day you get to tell everyone that Fred fucking Weasley is your own personal whore and would do anything for you and that just got you where you wanted it didn’t it? Didn’t it?” He had stopped yelling, his heart pounding as he took in the sight of you fully in tears now, flinching at him quietly. He felt immediately then like he was going to throw up, something wasn’t right, you usually were so fiery and assertive and here you were looking like a dog that got kicked repeatedly. He swallowed thickly. “Get your stuff and get the fuck out I can’t stand the sight of you.”

Without looking at him you reached onto his bed and grabbed everything you could carry, and swiftly left the room. Everyone in the Gryffindor common room, except George, looking at you with pure unbridled disdain.

George was the only it seemed, that cared about you at this time for the next couple weeks

He didn’t tell Fred, but it had been George that had been sneaking up food to you in your dorm room

It had been George that had sent you little notes in class that said things like

I love you, Y/N. I believe in you, okay?

He even visited your dorm one day when you couldn’t move so much as one leg off your bed, and he caught you then, while you were sobbing about the loss of Fred and yourself and he held you and put you back in bed

and waited until you fell back asleep and moved the hair out of your face

he needed to tell Fred the truth

meanwhile, Fred was floundering

he had fallen back into his coping mechanism of sex and violence, mostly the first one

he had started hooking up with virtually everyone in his year that he’d ever rejected

after all - fred was labeled as a slut so why not act like one

if there was anything Fred was good at, it was being loud

in bed it had never been an issue - in fact, it was a talent now, yeah?

he’d been hearing it around school for weeks now

how easy he was

how much he would do to get in a girl’s pants

how he dipped his wick in anything that moved

anything and everything

he got it from girls

“c’mon freddie can i take a ride just once”

to the guys

“Oi freddie, you let your mates hit it for free too?”

if it were from a guy he’d usually swing a punch

or 12

he’d gotten in his most fights that he ever had in any of his years at hogwarts

but then Georgie came along:

George had waited on Fred’s bed, as his twin was in the shower. Lucky for Fred, George had been able to trace Roger’s little dip in the gossip system all the way back to Hannah Abbott, who everyone knew was bullshit, and had decided to let his brother know exactly what kind of a supreme asshat he was being to their best friend (and the love of Fred’s life, let’s be super honest.)

“Georgie, what the hell are you doing-”

“About to give you the whip cracking of your life, dear brother.” George swung his legs off the bed as Fred continued to dry his hair in the mirror, rolling his eyes.

“Is this about the last girl I had by? We didn’t fuck on your bed if that’s what you’re so worried about.” Fred quipped and George took everything in his power to not bitch slap the hell out of his older twin. George clenched his jaw and rolled it.

“You fucked up, Freddie.” He said quietly. Fred turned slowly to look at him. “Excuse me?”. “You. Fucked. Up.” George said a bit louder. “Y/N got played. By Hannah Abbott and Roger Davies. She’s had a crush on you this whole time, you absolute dumb piece of shit.” And then George did push Fred then backwards onto the bathroom wall, but he was too dumbfounded by the usually sensible twin’s behavior to do anything back.

“That’s-I don’t understand-“

“Oh my god, Fred. Hannah’s been in love with for ages, she lied. To everyone. Roger did too, he’s wanted to get with Y/N since day 1 you know that just as well as I do.” Fred tightened his arm, thinking about Roger with his lips and arms on you that night last year-

“Your point? She still said that shit about me” he said gruffly, but a pool of anxiety swirled in his stomach all the same

“Don’t you get it? Y/N is in love with you. She didn’t say or do anything to hurt you. At all. She hasn’t been eating, she hasn’t been doing homework, she throws up constantly, she’s barely left bed but to go to the library and usually all she does there is sleep anyway, she cries all the time and it’s been me making sure she still is present if not to just see people every damn day! So quit youre moping and fix this shit or I swear to God, Freddie, I’ll knock your block off.” George was heaving, pools of water in his eyes as he swallowed. “She’s my best friend too, you know.”

Fred looked up at George then and had started to cry. All of those things he said, all of the words he spat at her like they could burn her skin and cause some of the pain he believed she had caused him, when in reality you had-you had done nothing wrong.

“Georgie, I’m sorry” he choked.

“I know you are. But I’m not the one to say it to right now...you’ve gotta find her, Freddie. Please.”

you had been in the corner of the quidditch stands

the wind was blowing against your hair

you couldn’t be in your room anymore, it started to smell like you

and you, prior to an hour ago, didn’t smell too appetizing

you reeked of sweat and tears and your own sick

you took a shower so hot you wanted it to burn you alive

maybe sanitize the last of your fear and your hurt away

you had lost weight, you had lost feeling

you all in all had just lost

and you had never wanted to go home so badly, already considering writing home

you hated being reminded that your best friend and crush hated you

wanted you to be hated by everyone else too

but then, you heard footsteps

“Y/N?” Fred whispered to himself as he saw you in the stands. You looked so worn, so lifeless sitting there - he almost didn’t recognize you from the way your hair, usually scrunched up and bouncy had fallen flatly against your face, further slapped around by the wind outside. You had been wearing an oversized sweater and your sweatpants had pooled around your ankles. Simply put, you were miserable. 

“Y/N?” He called again once he was standing in front of you. You turned to look at him in what felt like slow motion, but when you locked eyes with him, you immediately felt fearful. 

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll leave now” you sputtered

“No, hey, wait, please” he reached out to grab your arm and you froze, letting him take it. He looked at you, with a flash of fear and worry on your face and he wanted to throw up knowing he was the one that made you feel like that.

“Fred, please let go” you hoarsely whispered.

“No, love, I’m not going to let go I have some things to apologize for.”

You started to cry, eyes dropping again to his hand on your arm and breathing feeling suddenly like a very hard task. “You hate me now: you sobbed and you pulled yourself from his grip, turning away from him and gathering your bag. He started to scramble for your hold again tears starting to stream down his face

“No, angel, please, I could never hate you”

“Oh? What about those things you said to me in your room-” you were walking faster over the benched seats, making your way to the other side.

“I know I know I said those things in my room but I can’t believe them because you have to believe me when I tell you I’m in love with you” and he was sobbing at your body turned away from him. You turned to look at him with a skeptical quirk of your face.

“No, no you don’t.” You spat.

“Yes, Y/N, I do please let me explain” he said earnestly taking in your bright eyes and the furrow of your brow.

“People who love each other don’t scream at them and throw things.” You said flatly. You wanted him to be true but you couldn’t make yourself believe him.

“Just give me five minutes of your time and-and if you hate me you never have to see me again. Please.” He closed the gap between you two and motioned for you to sit down. You licked a tear from your lip and nodded siting on a bench besides him.

“Hannah and Roger told everyone-”

“I know what happened. What they did. I want to hear about you. And what you said. And are saying” you looked at him in the eyes with steel burning behind your irises.

He sighed and rubbed his jaw. “I thought that what we had was purely sex in your eyes. And I was too much of a coward to ever ask you, so when I heard someone tell me that my own insecurities could possibly be true,” he inhaled a harsh breath as tears started to fall “I-I was crushed. By the idea that you saw me as what other people saw me as...as a toy? I guess? Or a sexual prop? To use when you wanted. But I hide my feelings a lot as you know, so even if you did feel that way, it would’ve looked like I agreed because I hate you knowing how sad I am,” he started to choke on his tears, the anguish of knowing he hurt you this much was too much for him to ever be able to handle. “I just wanted to hold you and whisper in your ear and tell you how much I love you and the thought of my own fears being true pushed you away. And you never have to forgive me. I-when I yelled at you like that I wanted to see you hurt, I think. I wanted you to see how sad it made me to think about you with other people like you had been with me and” he took a final breath and you pulled his body into you. “Y/N, my love I’m so sorry.” His sobs shook your body, the feeling and angle of the destroyed boy you love shaking you everywhere. You pressed kisses to his head. “Freddie, I love you” you repeated “I love you here and here and here and here and here” and with every kiss you gave him, you were determined to soothe him. “I-I’ sorry too, for not being as forthright with you about how i felt too. It’s always been you, Freddie.” He choked out a watery smile and he leaned in to kiss your face everywhere he could, his tears stinging against the wind and your cheeks. 

“If-If you could ever be with me I will always be open to it at any time, you know that don’t you? I-I understand if you can’t.” He held his forehead to yours, his nose brushing yours ever so slightly. 

“Freddie, I love you. You were who I missed when I couldn’t get out of bed for fuck’s sake you’re all I want,” and he leaned into you then fully, capturing your wet and chapped lips against his. Your arms wrapped around his neck and he melted into you like this

this

this was fred weasley

[imma-potatoo]

Im not sure if you take requests but if you do can I please have some angsty janus HC? if not im sorry for bothering you. have a nice day!

First of all, you aren't bothering me, I love it when people ask about my headcanons. And secondly, *shocked* I'm being ASKED to share my angst?!

We're gonna be here for a while

He picks/scratches at his skin,

he doesn't really know why he does it, but he often spends full nights scratching his arms, chest, and legs. But NEVER at his neck or face, the other sides can see that. It's normally targeted at his scaled half, but he does scratch at the human side too

The scratches typically run very deep, there's a lot of blood, and Janus doesn't always have access to a medkit

Janus is the youngest out of all the sides, around 21-24, but he never really got to have the full childhood that he was supposed to

Virgil is the oldest of the sides, and when they were younger he was around a lot, basically playing mother hen. But once Janus turned 10 or so, Virgil stopped spending as much time with him and Remus

So Janus had to grow up quick. He learned how to cook (not very well, but food is food), spent most of his time reeling Remus in (who is around 15 at this time), and delivering food to Virgil's door, trying to get him to come out

At the end of the day, Janus was too tired to play, read, or do anything really. He just went to bed.

So young Janus' schedule was;

wake up, make Remus/Virgil food, force Remus to eat the food, attempt to keep the house from a disaster fire from Remus, make lunch, talk to Virgil through his door, more babysitting of Remus, make dinner, send Remus to bed, clean up, go to sleep

Hardly time for playing in there

To this day, if you hand him a toy, he'll simply stare at you with wide eyes

Janus can tell when people tell lies

They don't taste nice or anything, he can't even taste them at all. The lies are revealed with a sharp stabbing pain to his chest

Similar to a heart attack.. But worse.. So much worse.

Imagine if you took a long knife, and stabbed it repeatedly, over and over for hours, breathing faulting, and the entire room starts to spin. It hurts

Now imagine that you have to keep a straight face during this pain or get strange looks and get told you're faking

Janus has gotten a little too used to that stabbing pain

Everytime that Janus stumbled in SvS? That was him trying to hide the pain

The dark side is cold, really cold, like Canadian winter cold. But the darks don't have central heating

It's sadly very common for Remus to find Janus passed out, near hypothermic, in random places in their own home

The dark sides home is... a lot less pleasant then someone would prefer. It looks like a prison with concrete walls and floors, bars cover the windows, and the backyard is completely fenced in with 15ft+ high fences.

The sides rooms move when Thomas is willing to accept that they're a part of him and that he needs to work with them

Remus' room moved back in DWIT, because Thomas accepted that he's there and that he can't get rid of him

Janus is still stuck in the dark. Thomas has given him a chance, but he's not completely accepted that he's needed yet

Janus can often be found passed out on the light side's couch, simply because his room is far too cold

Virgil almost always finds him first, he doesn't like Janus by any means, but he knows first hand that the dark half is cold, so he normally just throws a heated blanket over him and calls it a day

Janus is always gone before Virgil can talk to him

His shepards crook is actually a cane

He had to start using it right after Virgil left, Remus ran off to the imagination and Janus chased after him. He ended up getting cornered by a monster, and it punctured his knee almost clean through

Remus only found him because he was screaming so loud. Roman could hear it from his half of the imagination, but thought it was an animal and didn't bother to investigate

Even as an adult, his sleep schedule is horrible

He's coldblooded, makes the dark half so much worse

The closest thing that he's ever had for a friend (when he was younger) was Logan. They would watch documentaries together and talk about them for a bit

Those stopped when Janus had to take care of Remus

Remus is his friend now, but he still spends most of his time looking after him and making sure that he's eating (he tends to forget that he needs to eat)

Remus goes back to the dark half everyday to spend time with Janus

Janus is a really bad cook, he can make half burnt grilled cheese and pasta. Thats about it. It's not from lack of effort really

The other sides are genuinely concerned for his health and well-being. Everytime he shows up he seems paler, his eye bags are larger, and his clothes hang off of him

Janus doesn't actually believe them when they say that they want to help though

Janus gets maybe two hours of sleep daily

He spends the entirety of his free time trying to help Thomas

He would drink coffee to help him stay awake and productive, but he hates the taste of it

The others grow more and more concerned everytime he passes out. Which is a lot. Janus always brushes it off though

Logan is the only one who doesn't believe him

He remembers what Janus was like when they were younger, and it was NOTHING like how Janus acts now. They're completely different.

The Orange side made him show up and impersonate the other sides. The only time that he showed up willingly was in POF

He honestly doesn't know what he did to make Virgil hate him, nor does he know why Virgil locked himself away when he was 10

Janus is angry, he's angry that he had to grow up quickly, he's angry that Virgil abandoned him, he's angry that Remus needs to be constantly supervised, he's angry at Orange, he's angry at himself. He's angry. But doesn't have the energy to do anything

He cries himself to sleep a lot more then you would think

Touch starved. Completely touch starved. He breaks down completely when someone touches his wrist

You would think that self preservation would have better self care, but no. He's really bad at it. The closest he gets is getting 4 hours of sleep instead of the normal 2

Even after Remus left, he spends all of his time trying to help Thomas... Only to get pushed to the side

He normally completely forgets to eat food and only remembers when he's on the verge of passing out

He's gotten super good at makeup to hide the red streaks from crying so much

He loves snakes, but can't own one in the dark half because the temperature would put them in extreme pain or even kill it. Janus doesn't want to put the poor creature in suffering

The only toy he still has from childhood is a stuffed snake, but even that has had extreme mending

He sewed his entire outfit himself, and he was quite proud of it! Every time another side insults it, he withers a bit inside

The other sides have tried to stage an intervention so many times, but Janus can somehow avoid them everytime

He doesn't want their pity, because thats what he thinks it is, pity.

T r u s t I s s u e s

Lots of trust and abandonment issues

He has talked to Emile, but he has a hard time trusting him

Completely avoids Patton. Completely.

You can occasionally see him out of the corner of your eye in the common rooms, but the second you turn around he's gone

He's short as hell

His hair is like curly fries. Complete ringlets. But he hates them, hense the hat

He hates it when the others steal the hat

Everytime they insult his scales, he dies a little inside

Let me know if you want more :)

[constellaj]

How about A for Reality Trip for the episode rewrite thing?

my biggest issue with reality trip is that its just a series of travelling around to non connected locations to get the mcguffins, and while danny’s secret being public matters somewhat, it doesn’t really impact the fact that they’re on the move too much. I also don’t like the ‘maddie and jack accept him perfectly and then he wipes everyones minds anyway’ cause that doesnt do anything. i DO like the “our summer vacation plans got ruined thanks to a ghost” angle so i want the themes of the episode to focus on danny’s frustration that nothing ever goes right and how he doesn’t even know what he wants

so i think in my rewrite:

-danny’s secret is out almost immediately, and it’s because the GIW shot him w a destabilizer and he publicly morphed (he got away thanks to shenanigans similar to the onstage debacle in canon) how this is thematic: he thought he didn’t want the secret out at all but, weirdly, a lot of the popular kids are fine with it. he’s still afraid of what his parents will think but he’s also frustrated that he had unfounded fears

-however, when danny (terrified) goes to his parents: theyre gone. freakshow has taken jack/maddie/jazz/etc and frozen them in some magic bubble bullshit or mind control or whatever so they don’t actually know. freakshow is sending danny on a fetch quest for the gems thematic relevance: he just hyped himself up for this conversation and they got yanked away

using these two, i think we can keep a similar opening/setup for the ep, ie freakshow in GIW containment until he breaks out, for setup-payoff

regrettably this still keeps the fetchquest aspect that i think makes reality trip broken in the first place, but since the first freakshow ep was about danny being evil I think it could be neat if we had some of that carried over into this. the ‘reality stones’ (since we live in a post mcu world now, we regrettably would have to change some of this, but i digress) respond highly to ecto activity or whatever, basically meaning that with every new one they get danny becomes a little more powerful. since everything is going wrong for him (see: the theme) and he doesn’t know what he wants, he starts to get a liiitttle power-hungry. A little messed up in the head.

ideally then there should be a way to work Vlad into this plot too. i’m a sucker for dadvlad tbh so let’s say that... when the Fentons first get kidnapped danny begrudgingly goes to vlad like “my mom and dad are kidnapped” and vlad may be a dick but he doesnt want his college crushes (or crush singular if i’m forced to be canon compliant) locked up so he’s helping. at first hes like “oh my boy daniel let Me hold the Magic Rocks surely you trust me haha >:)” and then later hes like “....son these rocks are turning your brain into goo.” course nobody believes him cause its all a ploy all the time forever and always

since danny’s secret is out too that means theyre actively on the run and vlad can’t always be There because he’s relatively high profile in either form, just for different reasons, so we can make him more of a “i did research offscreen and i think this gem is in x location but I can’t go there because i’m a bitch” type character

i DO like the intelligent aladdin-like ploy of ghost envy in the original but ‘ghost envy’ as a theme has to be reworked at least slightly for this, so also with danny being evil let’s say he’s feeling the scales tip especially after his reveal to the point where he’s feeling like he’d be better off if he was living his life entirely as a ghost. 

of course when they get the things to freakshow danny has the gauntlet and hes all like “im evil now and i will kill you” and sam/tucker/maybe vlad are like “but danny. you have friends.” and we get a montage/list of allusions of those times that they actually helped him on this fetch quest, like idk sam at a rock concert using loud horrible teenage music to chase the GIW out etc. they got souvenirs from everywhere they went. so danny sees this and hes like “oh noooo my humanity” and drops and in that split second freakshow grabs the gauntlet

and dannys like “oh great even NOW nothing EVER goes right for me” but because i put vlad here and because i like parallels vlad is like “so what are you gonna wimp out” or whatever he says. they probably had a somewhat heartfelt speech earlier about “why are you helping” “I care about jack and maddie being alive” “bro they hate you” “not everything has to go right for me to give a shit, daniel” or w/e

so before danny can overreact with his rage he remembers to work with what he has and pulls the fast-thinking “oh i bet you wish you were a ghost huh” trick that allows him to put freakshow in the thermos. then danny goes to get the glove and hes like “wait... no... that turns my brain into goo” and vlad is like “how about i get it :)” and danny is like “no youre evil” and vlads like “damn u caught me”

so sam and tucker actually use the gauntlet bc theyre not ghosts so their brain wont get fucky wucky. obvs they make the decision to wipe peoples memories of dannys identity but theyre also like “danny... don’t you at least want to see how your parents would react before we do this” and danny just sorta. shakes his head and repeats some “not everything has to go right for me to give a shit” line from vlad or something and of course its cause hes still insecure but also he’s okay with not having PERFECT control over everything now which is what he struggled with all episode so. character growth!

i feel like me saying “vlad should be here :)” is a staple that might lead to his character losing some of that original allure but like... honestly. vlad should be here :)

before the memory wipe dash makes out with him but that was a given

[ahwait-no-yes]

so basically my friend told me today about her dream she had that involved a demon and of course my mind went “...SAIOU AU”

here’s our convo so it makes sense:

if I had the motivation i would DEFINITELY write a fic about this- the fluff/crack/angst potential is t h e r e

and as a bonus doodle,

story is under the cut (it’s long)

“I was gonna keep this in tags but hsdf;j” is what I originally wrote here until I started thinking about this more and sorta wrote the whole plot-

-> as ouma’s killing the other monster things he flirts with shuuichi while the poor demon has never been flirted with so he’s stood there all confused and ??? (his version of blushing would be like, the fire coming from his small horns gets bigger and brighter)

-> the one he summons ends up being like. kaede and they both just end up having to lecture shuuichi on why it is that he should not want to die so easily

-> eventually kokichi and kaede wanna give him a hug so they try to but shuuichi’s Extra Hot™ (from being a demon and also probably blushing) so they both immediately regret that choice but kokichi laughs and gives an obligatory pun about shuuichi being hot which only confuses him because ‘of course im hot?? im a demon??’ while kaede explains what ouma meant

-> imagine shuuichi crying (fire tears..) at the generosity of these two strangers who a) aren’t absolutely terrified of him, b) refuse to hurt him and c) actually *want* to help him and ouma actually inwardly understanding a little bc he’d never imagine someone actually wanting to be with himself either

-> saihara now wanting to know what it’s like to live as a human with ouma and akamatsu but being unable to find a way (except for maybe being undercover?) but promising he’ll bring ouma back to him (he’s aware of the whole aging phenomenon in the lil demon world so he wants to keep their time short) and ouma finding that now he has something to look forward to

-> the 👏 mutual 👏 pining 👏 that commences after they both have to leave each other (if kaede knows kokichi in the real world she’d definitely tease him a little knowing he has a crush- this is probably good potential for building oumaede friendship)

-> it takes a while before ouma and saihara can see eachother again because getting the two to escape without killing saihara exerted a lot of energy on him, but they do get to! about once a month to be safe, and they get to know stuff about eachother like which shops ouma likes to steal from and shuuichi’s really loud demon friend he once had (aka momota)

-> one day though saihara tells ouma that if he keeps doing this he’ll die of exhaustion (it takes a lot of energy from saihara to get ouma in and out of there) and ouma calling him an idiot but really being worried. saihara tells him not to worry about him even if something happens to him, and makes ouma go back to the real world

-> ouma doesn’t hear from him after that

-> he worries he might have been killed or saihara forgot about him and feels stupid for being so hopeful in something so childishly impossible and starts trying to forget about him

-> the real world is aware of demons cause people talk about them (and obvs you can tell when someone’s gone to their.. dimension thing because you can visibly see them age) so still denying that he’s curious and likes saihara still, ouma tries to go to libraries and do his own research on demons and ends up finding out that saihara specifically comes from a bloodline that makes him quite powerful if not for that he wouldnt want to take the risks that come with it and then lowkey gets excited again for saihara while still in ✨denial ✨

-> it’s been almost a year when saihara has enough energy (and more) to ensure that his new plan is successfully carried out and that ouma (and potentially 1 more..) gets back to the real world safely. he created this plan when he figured out how to exist in the real world- by sacrificing the thing he cares most about

-> so when ouma suddenly gets that off-feeling people get when they’re leaving the real world he feels very many emotions at once (giddily going ”ohh my god its not this it cant be this no way oh heck tthisis not happening not a chance”) until he sees the face he’s been waiting 4 months for again except this time it looks.. frighteningly cold

-> ouma’s instincts are screaming at him that something is very, very wrong here especially when he can’t hear any warmth when saihara says “Welcome back, Ouma. It’s your final time” and explains the whole ‘kill these monsters then kill me’ thing again

-> ouma’s confusion inevitably turns to annoyance as he kills the dudes (there appears to be a lot more than there was last time) and fires questions at saihara (‘is this saihara?’ ‘what happened to you??’ ‘do you even remember me?’) while saihara stays silent for the whole time thinking about how he really doesn’t want to be doing this. 

-> eventually ouma decides he was wrong (again) to have put his faith in a guy- a demon- he only met once a month.. even if said demon gave him something to look forward to

-> when he finally gets to saihara alone he internally notes that saihara cant look him in the eye, but he finally speaks to tell ouma that now either himself or ouma will now die (saihara knows this is for sake of the sacrifice, but he can’t let ouma know else it won’t work)

-> ouma refuses to fight him again, expecting saihara to snap back into the meek demon from a year and some months ago, but rather than that happening saihara actually says something like “if you won’t kill me, I’ll have to kill you” and swings at him

-> even if ouma was on his full guard, he still would’ve been surprised by how strong saihara actually could be when he tried to fight- and of course saihara can’t stop now that he’s started but ouma hears the hesitation when saihara asks “are you going to kill me yet?” and gets annoyed that the whole time he spent with him and even akamatsu meant nothing. saihara smiles sadly knowing he’s achieving his goal but ouma thinks he’s smiling at the thought of dying and gets somehow even more annoyed

-> during their whole fight, insert “I’m alone, Ouma, and I will always be” line from saihara, “No amount of talking can convince me otherwise, Ouma. I’m sorry it took so long, but it was foolish of you to trust a demon you met only once” or something and yes it hurts saihara too but ouma’s staying silent and before saihara can continue, ouma fires back with “You’re right- you are meant to be alone. You were always meant to be that kind of guy” and stops dodging to start finally attacking- this is when saihara knows he’s pretty much achieved his target: sacrificing ouma’s trust in him

-> just as ouma swipes at him, saihara’s lil spell thing is activated that takes saihara back to the real world, disguised so people don’t see him as a demon. but now ouma thinks he’s just killed saihara (I just attacked him. and he is gone. i dont know what that light was but i must have just killed him. oh my god im a murderer.”)

-> saihara hiding in the forest to do the lil spell thing again but on ouma (all the time he spent saving on energy was worth it) so ouma gets transported to the real world too and immediately runs to tell akamatsu everything that happened

-> saihara trying to find to blend in with humans from what he remembers of how they act but he doesnt need to particularly eat he just needs a heck ton of sleep so he basically just lives in the forest now. he’s very sensitive to water so he actively stays away from it too (it wont kill him but it does make him sick). he’s still feverishly warm but not scalding and he also decides to work at a store to fit in more

-> ouma regretting what he did to saihara even though saihara hurt him first and realising he misses him

-> saihara ends up accidentally bumping into him at the store he works at that ouma conveniently steals from a lot (”Ouma, you’d make a good demon” “Nishishi! What do you mean? I’m a perfect little angel!”) and saihara gasping when he notices ouma’s unforgettable purple hair and cute smile.

-> ouma finding something familiar about this awkward new staff with the cute face and deciding he’ll visit the shop more often to see this stranger and not because said stranger might help him get over his demon crush

-> then they get to know eachother again for the 2nd time, and as much as this guy is really cute, he clearly knows more than he’s letting on... so of course ouma’s gotta now pay even more attention to him. just so he knows what the guy’s hiding. not cause he wants to know him.

-> one day saihara is sick from trying to protect himself from the rain (cause yk, water bad) so he stays in the forest instead of coming in to focus his energy on getting better and also not blowing his cover. ouma notices he isnt there on that day and asks other staff members where he lives and they’re all like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

-> it rains quite a bit after that, inevitably making saihara even more sick and in turn needing time away to himself, so ouma starts getting worried when saihara stops coming to work

-> saihara really wants to see him though, so one day he tries to drag himself to work in a terrible state where he’s actually almost cold for once and collapses after trying to run to ouma. ouma sees him and tells his manager he cant work nd takes him home himself where saihara wakes up confused

-> ouma lecturing saihara because he worried him and the way he fell reminded him of.. someone (demon shuu).. then he asks vague questions to saihara about if he’s ever met a demon and half-confesses to having met one himself multiple times and ending up falling in love and then probably killing them

-> saihara, in his tired state, tells him his story of how he was raised to believe he had no purpose other than to meet someone who would kill him, eventually finding that person but instead of looking at him with fear or anger he looked at him with admiration and playfulness, how the guy meant to kill him refused to and flirted w him instead. ouma has probably clicked on by this point but saihara continues to tell him he wanted to protect that guy with the power he had so he took time away from his first ‘job’ to find out how to be with him. saihara is probably shaking at this point while he continues telling him about how he found out he had to sacrifice the most important thing to him, so he “went and had a terrible argument with him one day and i ran away. but i’ve never stopped looking for him since, he showed me that even a demon like me can fall in love” (there’s the ✨grand confession ✨)

-> ouma saw it coming from the moment saihara started speaking, but that didnt stop him from being utterly paralysed. of COURSE saihara has to say “When I said you’d make a good demon I really wasn’t lying. Your hand is so warm it could fool even me” which possibly makes ouma completely combust before absolutely bolting out the door and calling akamatsu to tell her to get to his house (”AKAMATSU-CHAN I’M GONNA DIE RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON’T GET HERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THIS SECOND”)

-> while waiting for kaede, shuuichi explains that he needs to be Warm™ and immediately holds kokichi’s hold again, while the other’s having a gay panic.. and he doesnt know how to feel because on one hand, his beloved demon is.. right here, in the ‘flesh’, holding his hand, telling him he fell in love with him.. but on the other hand, that doesnt excuse the confusion and hurt he put him through back then, not being able to see him for a whole damn year.. 

-> ouma ignores all the feelings when akamatsu arrives where she’s brought water and blankets (just in case- i feel like shes the kind of friend who would do that) so saihara takes the blankets and ouma takes the water and she calms them both down and gets them to explain everything slowly and in their own time. its awkward esp for ouma who isnt particularly close with her, but they manage it in the end

-> they decide shuuichi literally cant live in the forest so of course now he has to live with ouma but akamatsu offers to help if it ever gets too much for ouma which obviously ouma denies. she leaves soon and its just them but ouma needs some time to himself to clear his head and he only returns late to see saihara asleep clinging onto akamatsu’s blanket with his life lmao so ouma sighs and brings him more. and if he kisses the sleeping demon’s forehead, nobody has to know

-> ofc its still very much awkward and it takes ouma getting used to having even just another presence in his home, let alone his sort-of-unofficial-demon-bf and saihara’s still sleeping a lot of the time but recovering

-> they probably establish their feelings for eachother properly when they’re more mentally prepared for it, and then 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 (they kiss) and are now actually legally boyfriends. i absolutely cannot let this end in angst so they’re happy and love eachother now yay the end

nngl. i talked about this with that same friend and I lowkey want to start writing an actual fic for it now that ive written... literally the entire plot, but if i do that it probably wont be out for a while bc i take 10 years to write lmao-- plus i hardly ever finish what i start so uh yeah.. but hopefully! im not even good at writing fic this is just the plot but yello

[robin-the-enby]

If matchups are still open and if it isn't to much trouble may i have black butler (male) matchup please. My pronouns are she/her. Im a Capricorn, my Mbti type is infj-a/infj-t. I tend to be shy around new people but I can be somewhat loud with people who im close to. I have medium length brown hair, green eyes i wear round glasses,pale skin and a lot of freckles. My height is 5'0. I also would consider myself helpful. If someone asks for help with work or something ill try my best to help them. Im not very athletic and im not a big fan of sports but i love to go roller and ice skating. I also love to read books and to also cook and bake food. I also like to garden. I've been playing the violin for 6 years. I love animals and im planing on becoming a wildlife veterinarian. I like to Watch nature/animal documentaries. I also like sweets. My aesthetic would probably be cottagecore. Some things i dislike are people who bend or ruin my books and people who speak over me when im trying to talk. I hope this is ok, sorry if i spelt anything wrong. Hope im not bothering :)

Hello fellow INFJ, welcome to my humble blog! Enjoy your stay! I also considered being a vet, but I'm scared of dogs, so I dropped the idea XD Anyway, I match you with:

Agni

This man is a literal sweetheart. He wouldn't even think of teasing you for being shy, if anything, he gives you some space if you need it.

He is definitely attracted to your kindness, it is something that he values, along with loaylty.

The domestic vibes I'm getting right now, omg.

He would love you even more if you got along with Soma, even though he can act more spoiled than Ciel and Alois combined sometimes.

Even if he had a hard day, he finds the energy to take care of you. Agni would love to do stuff for you, like cooking or washing your hair.

But he loves it even more when you do those things together. Basically anything that you like doing, cooking, tending to the garden, he'd love it if you could do it together.

Although he owes Soma his life, you give him something that he had never had in his life, warmth. And not just any kind of warmth, the kind that only true love can give.

He doesn't want to lose that and so you quickly become his number one, along with Soma.

The young prince is so supportive of you two, just saying. He loves to hear Agni talk about what you two do, because he loves seeing Agni happy. He also may or may not scold him to be good to you from time to time (only jokingly though, because it's clear as day that that man is smitten with you).

It is most likely that Agni has never been ice or roller skating, but he wouldn't be opposed to trying. He'd fall down a few times before getting used to it. Once he does it comes surprisingly easy to him.

He would love watching you ice skate, he thinks you look so graceful, like a ballerina.

If you fall down or get hurt, he gets really worried, please reassure him that you're fine.

I don't think he'd be too into dates since you're spending so much time together as it is, but apart from the skating, he would also like trips to nature, picnics in fields, mushroom picking, making flower crowns (he'd definitely blush if you put a flower crown on his head out of the blue, bby)

He is in awe of your choice of profession. It's one thing to be kind to humans, but a whole other to do the same for animals. Agni thinks it is much harder, since you can't easily articulate to them that you want to help and that makes him admire you even more.

All in all 10/10 supportive, cute boyfriend <3

Others I can see you with: Finnian - I think that he is very much like Agni in many ways, so I'm not gonna repeat myself and tell you some other things that I think would apply for Finny. You could actually teach him how to tend to the garden so it doesn't die. The poor boy is always afraid of hurting you with his inhuman strength and would train in secret with the other servants to learn to control it better. He would be more into taking you out on dates, if the young master gave him permission, he'd love ice skating, but would be terrified of roller skating, because whoa, there are wheels on his feet and omg what does he do now?? But his favourite would definitely be trips to nature, it makes him feel even more free than in the Phantomhive mansion.

[littlebabycrybtch]

honestly its still so heart dropping and disgusting to continue to see aspec ppl have to put on that like. trained, overly polite, overly passive, complete Lack Of Self Respect tone that forces a sense of ‘i know i dont matter’ just so they dont get completely automatically ground into dust when they go out on a limb and ask ppl they wanna interact with; ‘hey please dont start anything but can you just let me know if you’re an aphobe or not’ and its Still met with soo much mockery and disbelief almost every time like....... bro what even is there not to understand. you’re literally being the proof of why they have to ask abt it i cannot Fathom that kind of Blindness like lmfao bitch they just dont wanna be around some1 who hates them.... thats .. normal... thats human?? thats human behaviors. its having standards for yourself. its FEELINGS like unironically rn pls tell me you’re clowning and that you do understand how fucken LOUD you all are abt normalizing aspec hate and how often we obviously run into bitches like you and have to ask this question. you know how LONG we’ve begged for basic support so you have to know that reacting to being asked if you give a shit abt somebody with that kind of mockery is disgusting and bratty and ignorant af bc bro lmao its YOUR FAULT for being a Part of the people HATING THEM....?

holy shit lol, nobody should be good with being around people who disrespect a part of them,,,, thats like a genuine personal problem if someone willingly wants to do that, so why tf would you be expecting that. bc its us? bc its us. bc its us and you feel THAT right in thinking that we’re so worthless, they we are just so Stupid for not knowing that too. its funny to you that we dont realize how little we matter. lmao its so ugly and warped like!!! god how fuckin evil can you get just calm down idiot lmao theyre asking if you respect them and you’re basically responding ‘why would it matter to you if i didnt?’ bhsejbjehg uhhhhhhjjjjjjjjj bc thats. a regular thing 2 care about. its standards like mam do you hang out with ppl who hate you. is that some normal thing to you like. avoiding the ppl who wish you werent around is sort of just . health and safety and basic emotional response and also common sense. really is. literally How dehumanizing and detached coudl you POSSIBLY be abt this to be directly asked by a marginalized identity group if you respect them or not, and actually say No, but Also be like ‘LMAO YOU REALLY ASKED ME THAT? IT DOESNT MATTER’ like. yeah it matters bc they stay existing actually, you dont have to hate them for that, and they wouldnt have to ask yall this stuff if you behaved lmfao. not to mention your reaction is literally the evidence that it apparently matters enough to You to make sure they know you dont accept them. fully, you are whats making it ‘matter’ so much bc you are the one going apeshit over a benign existence. you’re the one losing it over nothing.

like lmfafuckingo what is WRONG with your MIND dude im.... speechless like ‘dont drag me into discourse’ YOU HATING SOME1 AND THEM HATING YOU BACK IS NOT ‘’’’’’TUMBLR DISCOURSE’’’’’..............? WHAT R U DISPLAYING RN DID U NOT SPEND ENOUGH TIME IN THE GUIDANCE COUNSELORS OFFICE GROWIN UP WITH THIS ATTITUDE......... ITS THE NATURAL ORDER OF SOCIAL CONSEQUENCE......... ITS SOME BASIC ‘YOU STARTED IT’ TEE MOTHERFUCKIGN EM LOGIC...? YOU HATE THEM! FOR AUTONOMY! FOR HAVING AN IDENTITY AND ENOUGH SELF RESPECT TO STICK BY IT! THEY HATE YOU BACK I THINK THEYRE ALLOWED TO ASODLKFL;SDF AAAA DUUUDE lmaoooo and like good lord, passively existing around ppl who hate you and not challenging them isnt ‘avoiding discourse’. thats. so unhealthy sdjkf what kind of underdeveloped politics.... its toxic and absolutely batshit to genuinely ask that of Anyone. like bro stop Actually expecting ppl to hate themselves for ur comfort thats.... so weird i.... are you okay hhh nah you just need to step up and try to be a regular ass person actually and have sympathetic reasoning skills. being ace is fiiiine its nbd i dont need to to change for you, im allowed to be this, and i get to ask if you’re ok with that so i dont end up in a gross ass environment.

ace =/= discourse. you dont get a say in everything my dude. we’re not here for you to analyze, we dont give you permission and we dont need Your permission to exist, we’re not asking that of you when we send those msgs we’re tryna figure out if ur gonna be a bitch or not basically lol just seeing if we’re gonna be accepted by you or if we’re wasting our time like alksd;al its so traumatizing and unnecessary and MINDBOGGLING that u think its not fucked up ?? to feel like we are supposed to accept your hate of us as our truth?? you believe we’re that awful that its Funny when we dont Realize it or smth thats just so....... what would even make you respect us. literally absolutely nothing besides not existing in front of you. so. thats hate. thats irrational unwavering hate. beyond the fact that any group always has the right to ask you if YOU hate THEM, you cant sit there and mock the mere idea of caring when you are literally giving reason for it by trying your BEST to upset them and make them feel like they deserve to feel like shit for what they are afterwards. dfgjdfkgjdlfkgfd man the hypocrisy and like complete lack of self awareness in reg culture is like novacaine for my brain its so jarring sometimes. im allowed to have a problem with you having a problem with me bc i cant fix Being smth, you can fix how you feel abt it. balls in your court ill stay waiting. im not gonna hate myself bc you’re not right xoxo get a vaccine for w/e makes you this evil and selfish pls

[m0onbean]

tutoring & loving

genre: enemies to lovers!AU, tutor!reader, popular boy!eunwoo, high school!AU, JEALOUSYYYYYYYY, flooooooof!!! angst but it’s okay because angst is wonderful, basically most of my favorite AU’s combined in one

warnings: jealous eunwoo and this AU is much more in depth than the others ones

words: 2.8k 

note: this is an old draft that has been sitting in my notes so i thought i would post!! enjoy and I HOPE  EUNWOO IS CASTED FOR TRUE BEAUTY!!!

as one of the top students in class, all of your teachers absolutely ADORE YOU

school is pretty smooth for you: you study well, pass tests, socialize with friends....... except for one little threat that makes your life so much more difficult... 

Cha Eunwoo.

not only is he one of the most popular boys in your grade, but unfortunately he’s also your seat partner for English and he’s the most annoying person you have ever met

you haven’t given him a reason to disrespect you!! ... okay maybe sometimes when you see him and his group of friends being loud in the hallways you shoot an icy glare....... ok and MAYBE you roll your eyes everytime he says smth dumb in the middle of class

but other than that??? completely innocent you are. but this man doesn’t seem to agree, as he seems to have made his life goal to ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. 

foe ex. you would be peacefully paying attention in class when suddenly you feel something kick your foot 

and when you look up, you see eunwoo “paying attention” to the board and feigning innocence

but you immediately know that he’s just trying to aggravate you because when has this man ever actually paid attention in class??

so you go back to listening when you feel ANOTHER kick and you’re like BITCHoh hell no so you kick him back bc we’re not all perfect human beings let’s be honest

and now y’all are kicking each other back and forth, and everyone can hear the desks shuffling underneath them

he also makes snarky marks constantly when you literally just breathed???

like you would sit down at your seat and he’d be like “Congrats, you’ve somehow managed to choose the ugliest outfit in the world to wear today”

and you respond, “It’s about time i have a turn, you’re wearing the ugliest outfit everyday” and then you just glare at each other until the teacher tells you two to snap out of it

on some days eunwoo will just flat out point out one of your flaws like if your hair is messy or if there’s a stain on your shirt

so one day your English teacher asks to see you after class and you’re like Oh he’s just gonna offer me extra credit ... but instead of doing that he asks right off the bat, “i have another student that needs tutoring, are you willing to take one more?”

for the past month, you’ve already been tutoring a few students your teacher recommends to you. it’s easy money, especially since you’re saving up for college 

only this time, you can tell he’s desperate because he’s like “Please (y/n) he’s failing in English and misbehaving in class you’re my only hope!!”

and now you’re like Hawld on..... Why Is He Being So Desperate About This.... like you’re cool with tutoring..... what makes this-

the realization strikes across your face. 

who in this school would you would hate teaching??? who is failing in English??? WHO IS THE BANE OF YOUR EXISTENCE. look to: c. e. w.

 “ofdjoaaja i’ll give you gummy bears or something” he pleads. and honestly, if you were not so broke, you would’ve spat on his feet and walked out the door. but you need the cash, and you sure do like gummy bears.......

you gracefully relinquish, and your teacher gives you a proud smile. he then goes on to tell you that his mom requested extra help smh why couldn’t she have just hired a tutor i hate rich people.. anyways so yeah pls Help me

so the next day @ school you approach your seat and you see eunwoo sitting on his desk, talking to his friends until he notices you.. and he’s about to open his mouth to probs criticize your untied shoelaces but you interrupt him and are like:

“eunwoo i’m privately tutoring you starting today. Meet at the library after school.”

and he’s just sitting there, jaw dropping to the floor and you’re like :) He’s finally quiet for once... 

but little did you know that during class he’d be pestering you with complaints like:“why you??? is there anyone else that can do it???” “i don’t need tutoring.. i’m getting consistent D’s... not a singular F and it ain’t much but it’s honest work” 

at a certain point, you get so sick of his complaints and go like “your mom asked for you to be tutored!!! OK i didn’t just ask to tutor you, you dumbfuck.”

and once you mention his mom he just kinda shuts up... and stares at his desk for the rest of the period

ou notice this and recall the teacher telling you that eunwoo’s mom is a tiger mom... you keep this in mind because now you know that making his mom proud might be his motivation

after school, you wait at the library for him inside.. but a couple minutes pass and you’re like ? did he forget ? .  

and eventually an hour passes and you’re like nope he’s definitely ditching

and honestly,,, you feel a little betrayed and a little hurt ... but just when you’re about to leave you see him panting and making his way to your table nd you’re like ???????and eunwoo’s like “im so sorry i forgot...”

and you’re like oh? so you didn’t ditch? 

and he’s like No!! i just ... forgot. 

and you’re like well you little shit don’t forget next time i’ve been sitting here for an hour..but then he reaches something from his pocket and hands it to you and it’s a triangle sushi (it’s super crumbled too...) 

and he’s like “i got this to make it up” and you’re like flustered and just weirdly but pleasantly surprised he feels this bad about almost flaking

but you catch yourself slipping and go back to your annoyed tone: “uh-What the fuck are you on?? I-Wh-I’m not hungry. T-thanks tho.”

the first tutoring session is... awful to say the least. 

he couldn’t pay attention well and continuously complained and even tried to go off topic

like you’d be asking him what foreshadowing meant and then he’d be like “so.. where’s your family from (y/n)?” 33r*#$&(@$

after an hour of no progress you get frustrated and shut the textbook, about to call it a day

but just when you stand up eunwoo grabs your wrist 

and he’s like “where do you think you’re going?” you scoff and reply with “why do you care? it’s not like you want to be tutored right? well i don’t want to tutor anymore”

when you try to budge, you feel his hand still firmly gripping onto your wrist and you’re like “let go of me” until you realize he’s staring at you dead in the eyes

and in a quiet voice he sadly says “please don’t give up on me... i’m trying my best.” 

it looks like he’s about to tear up and that’s when you realize that you need to be patient for him... and need to help him because he’s trying to make his mom proud. 

when you sit down again, he gets a bit startled that you gave in so easily but regardless, a relieved smile spreads across his face. 

instead of going back to teaching, you conclude that you two should “break the ice” first so tutoring wouldn’t be you two just glaring at eachother

“breaking the ice” turns into a two hour conversation about random things or anything that comes into mind. 

eunwoo is really good at conversing and he’s good at filling in the awkward pauses and bringing up new topics!!

next thing you know the librarian is trying to shoo you guys outside since the library already closed fodjsoakal

when you get back home, there’s a stupid smile on your face and you’re like SHIT why am i smiling? why can’t i stop smiling???? get yourself together youRe just helping him you still think he’s annoying!!! ..but he has a breathtaking laugh... NO he’s still that annoying guy i hate

the rest of the tutoring sessions aren’t as bad at you thought.. eunwoo is actually pretty smart he just has the attention span of a toddler honestly.

you could be trying to read him an excerpt from The Great Gatsby and when it’s his turn to read.. it’s absolutely silent and when you look up like ??? 

you see him staring at you and you’re like “eunwoo.. it’s ur turn” and he’d be snapped out of his trance and be like OH! and ask you where you left off

and inside you’d be like.. was he.. staring at me?? (he actually was. you just looked so pretty reading out loud with such emotion)

after a couple of more classes with him, he starts immensely improving in class. he doesn’t really bother you anymore, but he stills throws some playful remarks at times. 

tutoring sessions seem to be effective, and you learn that he actually has a really.. really great personality

one day, you’re approaching your seat in English and are about to roast eunwoo as your daily routine when you almost bump into somebody

but thank god you have great reflexes so you managed to stop yourself... and when you look up you see a handsome face and you’re like. Oh.and he’s like smiling sheepishly and is like “sorry! i’m clumsy hehe” and you’re like Oh.. he’s cute

you smile back and insist it’s fine.. and now you’re both still standing there smiling at eachother because he’s like eye candy

he manages to introduce himself as Moonbin and you’re like I’m (y/n)!! and then his face transforms into recognition and he’s like “oh! you’re eunwoo’s tutor aren’t you?” 

and you’re like “Oh?? yeah how’d you know?”and he’s like “Ah.. i’m good friends with him. i heard your tutoring sessions are really helpful though. you’re super smart”

and on the outside you’re like :3 m-Me????!??! <3

what you actually say: ah, thank you. 

then he’s like “do you mind if you tutor me too?? i’m kind of struggling in English as well” and you’re like “oh sure!” it’s raining money girl

the bell starts ringing and he waves goodbye 

 you go to your seat with a wide smile, and when you sit down, you don’t notice that eunwoo is glaring at you 

so when you look at him with a smile on your face, he gets even more glary. 

you quickly wipe the smile off and are like “oh it’s you.”

but instead of insulting you back he’s like “why were you talking to Moobin?” and youre ???? “why CAN’T i talk to Moonbin? he was asking me to tutor him.”

when he hears that, he clenches his fists under the desk and is like.. “did you accept his offer?”

and you’re confusedly like “yes.. why would i reject him?”

not one to handle complicated feelings well, eunwoo just stands up, his chair loudly screeching against the floor. 

he wants to tell you that he doesn’t want Moonbin to watch you read lines from poetry so dramatically, smile whenever he makes a joke, text him reminders to study before he goes to sleep. 

but when you’re looking at him with such bewilderment in your beautiful eyes, your facial features frozen as you wait for his next move, he feels disgusting for having these feelings towards you. you’d probably be happier with Moonbin, who doesn’t have these nasty problems you’d be burdened with.

but before you can even properly react, he’s leaving the classroom and you look around, grateful that nobody was watching. 

and you don’t know how it happens.. but your feet control themselves and now you’re running after him, not caring about class starting already

and as you’re sprinting, so many scattered thoughts run through your mind. eunwoo.. jealous? does he like you? and even though you thought you were interested in eunwoo... there’s something about eunwoo you can’t let go about.and there’s no way you’re going to lose him.

so when you finally catch up to him you grab him by the arm and turn him around so he’s facing you... you hug him tightly.

and the crawling feeling that’s been stirring in eunwoo’s stomach suddenly dissipates

and bc you know that nothing will be the same after this, why don’t you just end it off strong? so you confess

you quietly tell him that you’re new to this... relationships have always been a new territory for you. liking somebody is new for you. “please don’t run off and let go of me either... i’m trying my best, too”

and he wants to push you off of him, tell you what’s best for you, and go back to being the annoying shit he once was. but your hug feels so nice and.. well.. maybe eunwoo can be selfish once in a while.  

falling in love with eunwoo is a gradual but addictive progress. when people describe falling in love, they would describe it as fireworks... exciting but risky. you would pretty much say the same but.. it’s so much more than just that.

it’s feeling tingly and funny when he randomly holds your hand or shows affection. it’s feeling enormously upset when you’re not around him or when you see him talking to somebody attractive. it’s feeling empty when he cuddles you because you want this to last forever, but you’re scared because you know it won’t.

you tell him this as you two are nestled on his couch, blankets jumbled across and TV playing some cooking show neither of you care about

he laughs and kisses your forehead which makes you feel that stupid tingly feeling again. 

“are you confessing that you’re in love with me (y/n)?” before you can try to smack him, he says “i love you too.”and with that.. you quietly respond “i love you...” 

and it feels so refreshing voicing that out loud.

eunwoo as a boyfriend would be the most blood rushing and adrenaline pumping feeling there is. he’s filled with so much energy that it’s never not fun around him

he would sneak you into carnivals, and take you on the ferris wheel where you two would probably makeout in the passenger car scksksoao

he’d also try to win you prizes at the arcade but.. he’s just so bad at playing it and either A) you end up playing and winning him a prize or B) he bribes the arcade owner to give him the prize

lots of PDA. lotssss of them. 

sitting next to eunwoo in English is a struggle now.. he’s always distracting you from the teacher. 

like you’d be taking notes but then you’d feel his head on your shoulder and now he’s straight up cuddling you in class

eunwoo always encourages you to have more fun 

“you’re always locked up in your room, studying.”

thus, he likes to knock on your door and enter the house with your parents’ delightful approval (because your parents love him. so much.) and go in your room and shower you with kisses while telling you that it’s time to stop studying because you’ve been reading the same chapter over and over again

your texts to each other would be littered with emojis that don’t even relate to the message. like you’d text “i stopped studying. are you proud of me 💃👒🐟🥐”and he’d reply with “of course my sunshine 🍣🎧🔑”

you still tutor him but your tutor sessions are a lot more longer now since they take place at either of your houses instead of the library LMAO. 

+ after tutoring him, you two would just cuddle and raid your fridges

when you meet moonbin again, eunwoo gets a little jealous again since he thinks that moonbin has a chance of snatching you 

but after kissing him and assuring him that you’ll never be “snatched”, he feels so relieved

eunwoo relishes all of the affection you give him. and he always gives you twice as much :’)

one day the same English teacher asks to see you after class and you’re like “is there something you need?”and he’s like “.... ok so tell me how y’all went from kicking eachother to cuddling together in class 🤔🤔”

and you’re like “.. BYE I THINK I HEARD SOMEBODY CALLING ME”

the doors were closed... nobody heard anything... 

when you ask eunwoo why he hated you so much in the beginning, he tells you that he was just jealous of you. jealous of how flawless you did in academics and how you’re such a bright student + your glares were “extremely unnecessary” 

he also tells you that his older brother is already a doctor and has been so successful in everything so his mom always pressures him and compares them

and you’re like weaving your fingers together while telling him “don’t compare yourself. he is him and you are you.” 

and you pause.. and say “and i love you this way. i’m proud of you”

and eunwoo just immediately breaks down right there because nobody ever tells him that.. nobody is ever proud of him

falling in love with one of your enemies was definitely one of the best things that’s ever happened to you :)

[leviskokoro]

Mari in Twisted Wonderland | Abridged Version | Heartslabyul

Chapter 1

Mari had her first prophetic dream and she’s like owo whats this

It was about Alice seeing the Card soldiers paint the white roses red and shit. 

But then, she was awoken by a loud knocking and wonders who it could possibly be at this hour. 

Grim and her decided to go down. Though, she tried finding a weapon first, just in case the person turns out to be some murderer or whatever. Manages to find a knife

They went downstairs to the front door and opened it to see who it was. Turns out that it was Ace. 

She relaxes and lets her guard down.

Ace: Is that a knife?!

Mari: Yeah, what if you were a murderer? 

Grim: Hah! I would’ve taken care of it myself, puny human— Huh?! You got a collar on!

“I ate a tart,” Ace replied, crossing his arms with a scowl on his features. 

Mari tilted her head in confusion and curiosity. “A tart?” 

He nodded. “I was hungry when I got back to the dorm and I found some tarts inside the fridge. Three whole tarts! So I ate one and it was really good. Then the dorm leader found me eating his tart and was all like “Tart theft is unforgivable! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” and that’s how I got this collar… The end.” He used a shrill and high-pitched voice to imitate his dorm leader’s words. 

She couldn’t help but stand in silence at that story, squinting. 

“Both of you are in the wrong,” Grim simply remarked with an unamused look on his face. To which the girl nodded in agreement. 

“Isn’t sealing away my magic for stealing a tart a bit too far?!” Ace cried out. “For a wizard, it’s like having your arms and legs chained up. And there were three whole tarts, it’s not like he could eat all of them by himself. There’s got to be a limit to how narrow-minded you could be!” 

“Which is why you’re both in the wrong,” Mari retorted, “You should’ve asked permission first, but he also shouldn’t be so harsh.” 

All he could do was groan at her reply. 

Grim’s eyes widened and he crossed his arms. “What if the tarts were for a party? Someone’s birthday, or something. Heh, I’m a genius.” He grinned, sharp teeth glinted in the moonlight. 

“Birthday?” Ace asked, placing his hand on the back of his head. 

“That might explain why he was so angry,” Mari said, deciding to clean up a little more since she was awake. The two just watched as she did this, not helping because they were little shits.

He huffed, narrowing his eyes at her. “I thought you were gonna say he was being tyrannical, prefect.” 

She shrugged. “He was certainly being unreasonable, but it’s wrong to steal,” she replied as she took a broom and sweeped the dusty floor. 

Grim glared at him, placing his paws on his hips. “You’re at fault for stealing his tart in the first place.” 

“There’s a chance he’ll forgive you if you apologised tomorrow,” the brunette girl advised him as she threw away the dust that she swept up. The wood under her feet creaked as she returned. 

“Grudges over food are the worst,” her partner remarked, an unamused expression on his face. His bright blue eyes widened in realisation. “Wait! I never got those tuna cans from the Headmaster!” 

“Fine. Whatever. All I gotta do is apologise, right?” Ace sighed. He looked at her with a glare. “This is your idea, so you better come with me.” 

All she did was nod. She was going with him regardless anyway. 

“So, where do I sleep tonight?” He asked, an inquisitive look in his eye. 

“You’re actually staying the night?” Grim crossed his arms. “Every room aside from ours is still a mess. Clean a room for yourself.” 

He made a face. “Bleh, I don’t wanna.” Then, he turned to Mari with a smile. “Prefect~ Let me sleep in your room. I’m slim, so I won’t take a lot of space.” 

“Aight.” 

Grim’s eyes widened to the size of saucers at her lax response. “Ffgnaa?! You’re just going to say yes?!” 

“I’m used to sharing beds with people.” Mari proceeded to have a flashback to every time the Demon brothers invited themselves to her room and stayed there without really giving her a choice in the matter, as well as every time she had to sleep in the same room as them. Honestly, at least Ace had the decency to ask first. 

“Sweet! Thanks, Mari.” Ace flashed her a grin. 

After that, they all went to their rooms to sleep. The boy was right, he didn’t take up much space. Plus, the bed was big enough for the two of them. Unfortunately, Ace hogged the sheets. The bastard. 

When morning came, so did the loud knocking. This time it was Deuce and he scolded Ace for getting collared. 

While heading to class, Grim teased Ace about his collar and not being able to use magic. 

Ace will remember that.

They went to the Heartslabyul dorm and Mari is like -surprised pikachu- 

She loves it a lot. The hearts and roses were gorgeous. If only she had magic, then she would’ve been sorted into a nice dorm. Ugh. 

No matter. She’d just have to work hard to make the Ramshackle dorm shine. 

Then they met the e-boy-- I mean, Cater and he was painting the white roses red. 

Mari proceeds to have flashbacks to her dream earlier. Huh. Maybe it was just a coincidence. 

Dude recognises them as the notorious first years that broke the 10,000,000 madol chandelier so he takes a selfie with them. 

He has them paint the roses with him. Grim accidentally sets the roses on fire, Deuce accidentally turns them blue. Turns out it’s a bad idea to ask freshmen that are inexperienced with magic to do your chores. 

Ace complained and asked why they’re painting them red. He said that they look pretty as white roses. Mari agreed and expressed that she felt that the natural colors of the roses were fine. 

Cater explained that it’s tradition for roses to be red for Unbirthday parties. And that they use flamingos in seven different colors for croquet with hedgehogs as the balls. 

Mari wondered if that was safe or ethical. Either way, this dorm was proving to be quite strange for her. 

Ace remembered that he was supposed to apologise. Cater asked if he had a tart of apology and he said no. 

Cater told him that he can’t let him in the dorm then. The first years tried fighting him but lost and got kicked out. 

The bell rang and they had to really rush to Potions class. 

Crewel appeared and Mari had a “Oh no he’s hot!” moment. She paid extra close attention to him during class. 

Then it was History class. Mari mostly looked at Lucius more than Trein but was also fascinated with learning the history of Twisted Wonderland.

 Then PE came around. Mari saw Vargas and was like “Damn he got some tiddies lmao” Then she dies.

Jk. But the 20 laps and 100 pushups were exhausting for her. 

It was break time. Ace and Deuce talked about the classes not being too different from regular school. Mari agreed that they were somewhat similar to the classes she had at RAD. 

Then they noticed Grim was trying to skip class. 

Ace made fun of Mari for losing him and told her that if she wanted his help, then she should buy him a chocolate croissant. Deuce wanted an iced latte. 

All it really took for Mari was to give Deuce her best puppy eyes until he agreed to help. Then she said she didn’t want Ace’s help since he didn’t have his magic anyway. This aggravated him into helping her. Heh, suckers. 

Turns out she didn’t really need their help anyway since she just scolded Grim into going with her, saying he won’t become a great wizard if he didn’t put effort into his studies. 

It was lunchtime and Grim got into trouble with delinquent upperclassmen over food since he bumped into them and the egg broke. One of them said that breaking the egg is the best part about eating carbonara. 

Which confused Mari greatly because she loves eating carbonara and has never ever heard of eating egg on it. Perhaps it was normal in Twisted Wonderland too. Heartslabyul was already strange enough. 

They got into a fight but won this time and the delinquents ran off, yelling about pasta again. 

The first year group started eating and Grim asked what the other dorms are like. Cater popped up next to them, surprising the four of them. Turns out Trey was with him as well. 

Cater basically just tried to get all buddy buddy and exchanged numbers. 

Mari told him she didn’t have a phone and he offered to go phone shopping with her and called it a date

She was just like “bro im fucking POOR” 

Trey told him to chill and they went back on track. Cater started a conversation about the seven dorms.

Time for Mari’s reactions to the other dorms

Heartslabyul - Ew. She doesn’t like overly strict people or environments. 

Savanaclaw - Haha, furry jock dorm. Probably found Jack hot since she’s into the strong silent types. 

Octavinelle - Sea Witch’s dorm, huh? Does that mean they’re business guys? Oh look, it’s that weird guy from the entrance ceremony that “wanted Riddle’s collar” 

Scarabia - The smart ones, according to Trey. There’s the guy who got his butt set on fire during the entrance ceremony and there’s… a really hot guy that’s exactly her type. His hair looked so long and silky and his eyes were mysterious. 

Pomefiore - 

Grim: there’s a super cute girl over there! 

Deuce: A girl besides Mari in an all-boys’ school?!

 Mari: Nah that’s a dude 

Ace: Eh? How do you know? 

Mari: I can see his adam’s apple 

Mari, internally: Shawty had them apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur-- 

So apparently Pomefiore is the “Beauty” dorm and the dorm leader has like five million followers on Magicam. That’s cool, but she’s more interested in their poisons. 

Ignihyde - Cater called the students of that dorm introverts. Trey said that they were good with technology. They seemed real neat. 

Diasomnia - Powerful and considered celebrities, as well as having an aura that makes them hard to approach. Though, Mari lowkey thought that about everyone except that one guy that got his butt set on fire. He seemed very friendly. Maybe it was her social anxiety talking, maybe they were actually just intimidating. Anyway, Lilia popped up from above and scared them. He basically just said that he’s not a child and that Diasomnia welcomes students from other dorms. So there’s that, at least. Though, this doesn’t do anything to extinguish the intimidating aura from the rest of their students. Then the strange dude left. 

Ace started talking shit about Riddle while Mari blankly stared at Riddle who was right behind him. Boi he ded

Riddle then went on with his spiel about rulebreakers. Honestly, Mari pretty much spaced out during this in order not to roll her eyes at him. 

Then he left to get two sugars for his lemon tea that the rules state that he’s supposed to drink after a meal.

Trey tries to explain that Riddle’s intentions aren’t bad and that he’s just trying to make the dorm better. 

To which Mari replies: “Sometimes it doesn’t matter what your intentions are. If you’re clearly making the people around you unhappy and uncomfortable without actual regard for how they feel, then that’s that.” 

And Grim said: “Someone with good intentions doesn’t randomly collar people!” 

They laughed, but one could easily tell that it wasn’t genuine. 

Then bam, more exposition comes and Cater explains what unique magics are. 

Then they start talking about tarts. Mari offered to help make one with Trey and Ace while Deuce and Grim wanted out. They only wanted to help after Trey said they could eat some tart if they helped out. 

They started chestnut picking and met Leona who was a fucking bitch because she accidentally stepped on his tail. 

Jk. He drinks his respect women juice so he’s not as mean and leaves her with only a warning for the most part. 

She and Grim got back to Ace and Deuce, they picked the chestnuts and got back to the Heartslabyul dorm to make that tart. 

Trey made his whole joke with the oyster sauce but Mari just looked at him with pure disbelief in her eyes. Then Trey realized he needed more ingredients since they brought too much chestnuts and Deuce and Mari volunteered to buy them from the shop. Grim also said he wanted to come since he was tired of mixing flour. 

So they go to the Mystery Shop and get the shit. Mari wonders for a moment if Sam has got anything that could possibly help her get home but then shakes her head, saying she’ll see about that later. They head back to the Heartslabyul dorm but run into trouble, then came the reveal of Deuce’s “Bad Boy” personality. Mari was like -surprised pikachu- while he beat the shit out of the delinquents, silently cheering him on. After that, he got upset because his “honor student” persona was gone. It’s especially bad since he felt that he scared Mari. 

Achievement unlocked: Deuce’s Backstory 

Grim asked if being an honor student meant that he should just grin and bear everything. Mari agreed and reassured that being an honor student didn’t necessarily mean that he should be a pushover. Then she broke it to him that the eggs were unfertilised and would never hatch. Now it was his turn on the surprised pikachu face. 

They bought another set of eggs and went back to the Heartslabyul dorm safe and sound. The tart was finished. Hooray! Though, Deuce was still shocked about the chicks so Mari had to pat his back. They started eating some tarts after Cater came by to check on them. He then brought up Trey’s unique magic.

Trey revealed his unique magic and explained it to them. They were impressed. But once they were done, he told Ace he can’t sleep in Heartslabyul and gave him and Deuce permission to sleep in the Ramshackle Dorm so they did. 

Next day. They got to the Unbirthday Party and Ace gave the tart to Riddle. 

Riddle is like “Fuck you. The Law of the Queen of Hearts says one must never bring a mont blanc tart to an Unbirthday Party! REEEEEEE” And then Mari wonders how many rules there are. He answers with 810 and that he memorized them since he’s dorm leader. She’s like “Dude, he’s a freshman, he can’t possibly memorize every rule.” To which Riddle countered with “I memorized them on my first day in NRC! If I can do it, then he should be able to as well.”

“Not everyone has to be like you!” She proceeds to have flashbacks to her narcissistic grandmother who always believed that she was right and demanded that everyone be like her. This causes her to dislike him. 

“As the dorm leader of Heartslabyul, out of respect to the strictness of the Queen of Hearts, I can’t ignore this violation. Throw the mont blanc and these rulebreakers out!” 

Ace started arguing with him as well and the two third years tried to help. Riddle goes on about how he has the highest grades and is the most powerful, which makes him the most correct. This makes Mari’s stomach churn more because of how much he reminds her of her grandmother. Grim says he’s a selfish tyrant who wastes food and ends up getting himself and Deuce collared as well. 

Then they get thrown out by the third years and meet Chenya, who gives them a tip to talk to Trey and unlock Riddle’s tragic backstory. 

And they did. Because it’s always a good idea to listen to the advice of a strange guy who pops into conversations head-first, literally. 

Achievement Unlocked: Riddle’s Backstory Part 1 

Mari’s reaction was that she sympathised with him and understood, considering that her grandmother was somewhat similar. However-- 

“His past is not an excuse for him to be a tyrant. Perhaps that’s harsh of me to say, but I still stand by it. He believes he’s right all the time and fails to notice how miserable the rest of Heartslabyul is.”

Ace put in his two cents and said it was Trey’s fault that he’s like this, dropping a truth bomb on him. Mari agreed and said “Friends help each other to become better people, not allow them to grow worse and worse.” Then he called Trey lame for being afraid of getting his head chopped off. 

Crowley pops up like “STFU THIS IS THE LIBRARY YOU LIL SHITS” and they said he was the loudest so he started whispering “stfu you lil shits”

They explained the situation and he suggested moving dorms but Ace was like “but thats a pussy move” so he suggested fighting Riddle to the death for the position of dorm leader. But without the “to the death” part. Ace and Deuce agreed to challenge Riddle. Grim wanted to go too but Crowley said other people from different dorms can’t so he got sad. 

Timeskip to the match and it was over in less than 5 seconds. Mari told Riddle that he was wrong but then he started mocking her and her family for barely being able to use magic and having a bad education and then called her completely inadequate. She just looked at him blankly considering that she didn’t particularly care about him insulting her or her parents. 

But then Ace punched him for saying that. And Mari was internally like, “I have decided that I love this guy”. Then he went onto this speech about how kids aren’t their parents’ trophies and that it was Riddle’s fault for not making a friend scold him for being a tyrant. He also calls him a baby. But not like the “uwu baby” kinda way, the kind of immature brat kinda way. 

Shit hits the fan and Trey finally had enough and used his unique magic to overwrite Riddle’s to remove the magic-sealing collars. Then Riddle fucking overblots. 

Mari is definitely surprised. Then noticed the creature behind him to look similar to the beast she and the shared brain cell trio fought in the Dwarves’ Mines. So, she steeled herself and ordered the trio to attack Riddle, especially once Crowley said that he’d lose his life if this went for too long. The third years came to help as well while their Headmaster evacuated the other students.

And they beat the shit out of Riddle. Then Mari kinda spaces out again and has this vision of Riddle’s past. This wasn’t the first time she has seen a vision of someone else’s past, but it still confused her. She wasn’t in the Devildom anymore, and she didn’t have magic. 

Achievement Unlocked: Riddle’s Backstory Part 2 

Then she’s shaken back to earth by Ace and he’s like “Oi, don’t space out now, dumbass.” “Did you see that?” “See that Riddle overblotted? How could I not?!” “Nevermind” 

Riddle is crying and she feels bad so she rubs his back. Her motherly instincts get the better of her at this point. He’s surprised at how she’s treating him, considering the only female figure he had in his life was his mother who was strict and harsh. When Ace started yelling at him, she scolded him and told him to yell at him later. 

“Ace, cut him some slack. You can yell at him when he’s recovered. He almost died ffs” “SO DID WE” 

Then he told Riddle to do the Revenge Unbirthday Party. Riddle agreed before Mari and Crowley decided to take him to the infirmary. Since she was gone, Grim got to eat the black rock again. 

While Riddle was recovering from blot, Mari took it upon herself to help him out. He appreciated it a lot. 

After the Revenge Unbirthday Party, Mari thought about her experience so far. The strange dreams, the overblot, the vision. 

Then she remembered something. Before leaving the Devildom, Barbatos pulled her aside and had a talk with her. He held her hand and a faint glow emitted from it before he let her go. “A fragment of my power,” he said. But she didn’t understand what he meant. 

When she slept that night, she saw Belphie and nearly cried because she missed him. Then she explained what happened to her and that she was in Twisted Wonderland. He told her that he’ll inform the others so that they can find a way to get her back, and that she should hang on in the meantime. 

And so she did, unaware that her adventure just begun.

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)