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please please please remember that no matter what your manager says, it is never that serious. unless you are literally performing surgery or defusing a bomb, it simply is not that serious

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She is the poem - June Bates

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what do you mean i can’t read every book, study every academic subject, taste every food, live in every city in every country, visit every museum, listen to every single song ever produced, learn every language, meet every interesting person, memorize every particle of knowledge to ever exist ???

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I love seeing men gush about their relationships and the women they love. It’s time for the whole trope of men hating being married/ viewing relationships as things holding them back. Amen for men uplifting their women and their relationship. Amen for men getting choked up and ready eyes thinking about the one they love. Amen for men thinking of the woman they are with as their best friend.

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I do have a suggestion you can ignore, but this is for young feminists online and that is to try, as best as you can, to not concoct the emotional narrative of people you don't have the faintest idea of. it's not that you can't speak to the generalized likelihood of what women and girls feel in this or that situation, but when we're talking about a specific woman in a specific situation, whether it's from a news article or a screenshot of a social media post...it's best not to assume things like "she was probably horrified" or "I'm sure she feels traumatized" or even "she must have hated this" or "it probably feels like a betrayal when..." yadda yadda. Maybe you're right, and probably are, but you could be wrong. And when getting to the root of why women are oppressed, it kinda doesn't always matter what each woman "feels" about given situations. There are plenty of women who will refused to accept the facts of their rape count as rape, as an example. Well, I don't really see the point of demanding them to change their mind on that, as that is prioritizing my politics over their lived experiences. Maybe they'll come around on their own, and maybe they won't, and in any case you can still speak intelligently to it. If you want another example: there are plenty of surrogates who will be pissed the fuck off if you tell them they must have felt some certain way during their pregnancy, labor, and the child hand off. And why shouldn't they, you don't know what's in their head. You do not know better than them about their own feelings full stop. It doesn't matter! their feelings one way or the other isn't the reason why surrogacy is an issue to feminists. Women will feel a multitude of ways about every single thing under the sun. We're a diverse group. Try to speak towards facts, and avoid creating unwarranted narratives of real people based on assumptions as much as you can.

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if you're online too much as a young woman and you forget to read books you'll get convinced that the reason you don't have power in your life is because you aren't pretty and that your life is doomed despite living in one of the wealthiest countries in the world with unprecedented freedoms. and it's fine at the end of the day like you're not committing the most egregious thought crimes you possibly could, but just make sure you're partying a little. like once a month maybe.

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Marpessa Dawn & Eric Vander <3

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Stop obsessing over him…

While it might seem fun to fantasise about a man, to think about him non-stop, to imagine your life together what you’re actually doing is sending a very strong signal to the universe that energetically ‘I come second’. While this might sound extreme, hear me out... Your thoughts are no longer your own because you are thinking about him. You can’t focus on you because you are thinking about him. All of a sudden everything is about him. You wake up, you take a shower. Lost in the fantasy...He might be a man you’re talking to, dating, fucking, whatever the case my be. Obsessing over a man in thought is never something you should get comfortable with, giving your precious energy away to moments that will ….most likely never happen. And what for? What about thinking about you. Your dreams, passions? The vision for your day? You only have so much mental capacity each day. And getting lost in the fantasy is not the answer.

Create no fantasy of him. This is your lesson. Press pause. Literally press fucking pause. Eject the tape. Throw it out the window. This is YOUR movie. You get to take centre stage. You no longer have to play second to mentally overthinking men. 

Start choosing you. But you have to choose you in thought first and foremost. You can’t come second in thought. Your thinking has to be on you, about you. You can’t come second mentally because a man who is not your man is taking centre stage in your mind. Your thinking space is prime real estate. It needs YOU. YOU need to own that domain. Not think it’s cute to imagine the future, get all giddy and love sick. No. No no no. Bring it back to you. Your job now is to remain focused on you. That is it. Remain focused of you. Let go. Just let go. 

Is this message clear enough for you. Do you understand now how harmful it is to make a man first priority in your mind? 

Give yourself some grace. Clean your room and get back to you. Focusing on you. Energising you. It’s a process, but the shift can be instant..all of a sudden one day you just say no. No to allowing a man to take up the domain of your mind. And just like that you can switch off that light in your mind that gets excited to overthink a man. Say no. Pray. Ask for a miracle. Call on angels. This is truly serious because focusing on you, and remaining in your centre is how you win in this life. 

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Back Details - Summer Edition, part 2 | Melanin Adorned

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People against piracy fail to realize that no, I can’t just ‘buy it.’ They stopped making DVDs and Blu-Rays. They’re barely offering digital copies for download. I am not spending money I could use for food or bills to pay for a subscription service just so I can always have access to a beloved piece of media. Especially not when the service will remove media on a whim without concern for how the loss of access to that piece will make its artistic conservation nigh impossible.

For example, I recently learned that Disney+ had an original film called Crater. It’s scifi, family friendly, and seems cool - I would love to buy it as a holiday gift for my little brother! But: it’s exclusive to D+ and THEY REMOVED IT LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE.

The ONLY way I can directly access this film is through piracy. The ONLY available ‘copies’ of this film are hosted on piracy websites. Disney will NEVER release it in theaters, or as something to buy, and it may NEVER return to the streaming service. It will be LOST because we aren’t allowed to purchase it for personal viewing. If I can’t pay to own it, I won’t pay for the privilege of losing it when corporate decides to put it in a vault.

So yes, I’m going to pirate and support piracy.

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I started wearing my favorite dresses even if I’m staying home. I decided I don't have to wait for an occasion to dress up, put makeup on, or take the time to get ready. I deserve to feel lovely while I’m folding laundry or doing the dishes. Feeling beautiful during the mundane tasks of life makes them feel more beautiful too. 

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A man who doesn’t bring enough to the table knows he’s playing you. And he’ll play you for as long as you accept it. But a man who is actually worth your time will prove it.

Weed out the losers ruthlessly.

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this is a friendly reminder that language proficiency levels aren't 100% accurate and appliable to everyone. you can be able to talk about evolution and use the subjunctive mood but have no idea how to describe your daily activities. you can not know many synonims but be adept at explaining stuff. you can be able to name every single thing at the supermarket but unable to form a sentence with reported speech. you can not remember jobs names but know slang and dialects. you can read the classics but barely speak or write.

language learning is multifaceted and it's completely normal to develop certain skills before others. sometimes it's because some are easier for a particular person. sometimes it's because some are more useful in one's context. the point is, whatever set of skills you have, it's great. keep going.

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Museum Meetup, date night 2 | Melanin Adorned