#im going to rewatch and rank them for fun. just for myself

[commonpigeon]

where is mrs levinson please show me my wife. im dying out here

[deadwriter16]

Hi.... If you don't mind me asking, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series/games/etc) and your top 10 favorite characters from any media ? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this questions before or if I accidentally send this ask twice.....

Hi! Sorry I'm super super bad at managing my inbox but I am finally answering you, so sorry it took so long!! pls forgive me

as far as media goes, i dont have a rank order or anything really but here are 10 pieces of media i really enjoy:

i wouldnt say these are my top 10, but just some i really love

fruits basket (anime) - most ive ever cried watching anything. watched this during my last year of high school during the peak of college application season and it altered my brain chemistry forever. i will never be the same

assassination classroom (anime) - watched it in middle school and therefore formed a deep and unhealthy obsession with it, also karma is THAT BITCH. amazing show. also so like oddly sad

new girl (tv) - my favorite television show OF ALL TIME

how to get away with murder (tv) - my favorite televison drama show OF ALL TIME

always sunny (tv) - still watching this one but i LOVE it, shows about fucked up horrible people are my favorite, also i really love and admire their writing style and i really want to embody it on a show someday. definitely a huge writing inspiration for me

arrested development seasons 1-3 (tv) (i liked 4 and 5 but 1-3 are incredible) - again, a show about incredibly terrible people, and also really fucking funny in a weird way. and super clever. i love it

sherlock (tv) - i LOVE murder mysteries so so much. also theyre super gay which is fun

soul eater (anime) - my first anime ever, will love it forever

penguins of madagascar (movie) - i am unironically saying this, i am not fucking with you, this is my favorite animated movie

saturday night live (tv) - a classic. i haven't really traversed past the 21st century but i watch it every weekend without fail.

a special eleventh is A.P. Bio, amazing show never should've been cancelled. objectively i can completely understand why it was canceled bc there wasn't anything really objectively special about it, but by god do i love that show anyway. i rewatch it all the time

honorable mentions: on my block, sex education, the office, community, one day at a time (2017), how i met your mother, parks and rec, disney XD's lab rats (also unironically. great show.)

As for characters:

This is so so hard I've read/watched so so many things, I'm just gonna name the first ten freaks that pop into my head, but in no particular rank order and im definitely forgetting people:

bakugou (bnha) bc obviously. my entire blog is like a shrine to him. i don't need to justify this choice tbh he's the absolute best

chimney (911) he is SOOO me coded and he deserves the world and i think he's deeply underappreciated so i shall appreciate him myself. underappreciated comic relief characters my beloved

schmidt from new girl. my boy. my king. THE #1 MASTER OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. i love him so so much

chandler from friends .... extremely self explanatory (also, see chimney. very similar reasons)

kyo (fruits basket) he means a lot to me. i wish him all the best in life although tbh he did canonically win in life so go him

connor walsh (how to get away with murder) i LOVE him. so much. he's so fucked up but i think hes done nothing wrong ever

death the kid (soul eater) LOVE OF MY LIFE. ABSOLUTE ICON

chang (community) maybe its just cause i love ken jeong but i love this little fucked up mentally ill freak. he's so fucking funny

phil dunphy (modern family) - no explanation needed. he's awesome. i love him a lot he gives me faith in family

every other main character in new girl. i love them all so much

honorable mentions: annalise keating (htgawm), ochako uraraka (bnha), bobby nash (911), dwight schrute (the office), and probably many many more amazing characters who i simply am forgetting

i also really fuck with the grandma from fresh off the boat

[kinaesthetiqueer]

(clearing out some drafts. condensing a couple of jnpr vs rwby into one post here)

August 1

i still haven't decided who wins rwby v jnpr

given me, there's an obvious answer. for plot reasons, i could convince glynda to skip it altogether. for canon reasons [post ends there, presumably i got distracted]

August 3rd

thinking about how i backed myself into a corner with rwby vs jnpr and how i don't really wanna write it so i might just skip it _(:3」∠)_

spoiler alert. processing rambles below.

if it does happen, rwby will probably lose because of weiss. unless rwby can convince me otherwise. they have the semblance advantage and canon on their side (food fight). however jnpr has non-canon on their side bc they're god's (my) favorite and also the way ive worked this volume favors them being more cohesive as a unit

i am thinking about ways to communicate even clearer when something from canon does or does not happen but i hope it's thus far clear that some things have yet to happen.

as Nora points out in her pre-jnpr vs crdl thoughts, she and jaune lost their duos demonstratory match. while it's yet to be mentioned, jaune still lost to cardin in his one-on-one as he does in canon.

i just rewatched jaunedice and forever fall before i decided to get tooooo far into JNdice planning. massively surprised that pyrrha becomes the target of cardin's ire simply because of being a know it all??? i knew i had my events mixed up but heavens that's hella extreme. makes dove's reasoning for going after Nora in ssvau seem... reasonable... good heavens. (hint: it's the jnpr vs crdl knockout)

for context's sake, and my own personal rambly timeline needs—

at the end of the rwby vs jnpr week (a week from current chapter), forever fall happens. which places jaundice taking place slightly to the left because i've adjusted cardin's asshole motivation in this au to crest with jaunedice, not quite originate there. giving a shorter time period of jaune torture. thankfully, because nora is our only pov that keeps track of jaune, i won't have to completely rehash canon-two-steps-to-the-left for this arc, only allude to what she notices. unfortunately for me, i do have to know everything that is happening. hence this ramble.

anyways i think the issue with jnpr vs rwby is several fold

i have a favorite team

nora is well rested

weiss is exhausted

jaune is not great at thinking on his feet

like they still prep and plan for rwby but they know damn well rwby has been more cautious about showing off than crdl ever was

pyrrha and nora and ren are gonna kick ass

blake and yang are gonna kick ass

ruby learns from earlier in the week after [spoilers] and can definitely kick ass if/when she stops pouting about weiss

the outcome has implications for the end-of-semester rankings which i am also still deciding

damn they might just have to fight until a draw due to time. because i think jaune and weiss would go down faaaaaaast.

----

bringing us to now....

okay SO since early august, i did some pretty intense problem solving and actually came up with the funniest solution possible. good news, i'm not going to skip it! bad news, im keeping the solution to myself until we get there.

it is my hope that my fight scenes are okay and fun to read, but i will be SO real with you they are one of my least favorite things to write. however, i think this one will be pretty fun

[jemmo]

for the ask game, 7, 12, 17! 💗🌼

thank you for the ask :)) and sorry its late i was gonna answer this at the bus stop yesterday but for once they decided to be on time

7. top 5 bl

man i had to stare at my mdl completed list for a while to decide this, but i'll preface that these top 5 are here both bc i have such a strong emotional connection with them and bc i want to scream about how actually good they are from a rooftop (also not ranked bc thats too hard):

utsukushii kare - don't know else i can make it clear how beloved and special this show is to me. an excellent story across both seasons and the movie with even better mains that are characterised to perfection, develop in the most beautifully human way and are performed brilliantly. and if i think about this show any longer and remember its over i will break so moving on

old fashioned cupcake - it was one thing to give me a bl starring THE og kageyama stage play actor bc those things were my life during the height of my anime phase, but to then have it be this good?? the story is beautiful, the fact they manage to do so much with such little run time amazes me, and to this day it has the most romantic line in any bl that always gives me goosebumps when i watch it. and i dont wanna talk like im that old, im only 25, but as someone who's barely had anything you can call a romantic experience, this show left me with the warmest sense of hope and comfort that beautiful love stories aren't reserved for high schools, and its never too late to find happiness

blueming - i havent rewatched this one in a while, or much at all, but i'll never forget the visceral response i had when i binged it all in one night. i adore the fact that this is just the gentlest story of 2 people falling in love and finding comfort in each other and just how naturally and simply it happens, and i think its portrayal of that specific family dynamic is phenomenal, bc for me at least its as much about that family being in the process of healing as it is about the love story, and the fact they go hand in hand is even better

bad buddy - what else is there to say. for the 12 weeks it aired, i ate, slept and breathed this show. literally did not even think about anything else. and this show has rightly been praised to the moon and back but as well as all that, its always gonna be special for me bc of the people and community i found and shared the watching experience with. what can i say, you just had to have been there, and im so glad i was

the eighth sense - surprisingly this was my last pick and i was debating swapping it for a few others, but it ultimately stays bc of how refreshing and how much of an emotional rollercoaster it was. i haven't ever brought myself to rewatch it, but i can vividly remember how enraptured i was by the sheer amount of tension they managed to create in those initial episodes, and how well they managed to maintain it. and i hope people take note of how much people loved its artful and kinda raw vibe and become inspired to do something similar bc i think it gives great balance to the genre (and i also, clearly, love it, just look at these pics. i promise i do love fun and silly stuff too)

12. most rewatched bl

i was debating putting this on my list but ultimately, while not being my absolute favourite, its my definition of a comfort show and that is my dating sim. idk what it is about the show, but ever since it came out i go back to it at the very least monthly. i think its the fact that when im really craving a good bl, it manages to not only hit all my favourite tropes (unrequited but secretly requited love, reuniting and digging up the past, that initial clash gives me a lil bit of enemies to lovers, plus it has enough fluff to make me all warm and giddy), but it also does them so well, and the story is so perfectly simple and succinct that i feel so content when the whole thing is over. truly the perfect show for when i wanna do nothing and feel happy.

17. best kiss

unsurprising but yes, it still is the bad buddy rooftop kiss. i dare not watch this kiss bc i know if the weakness ever overtakes me i will fall into a void that i will not escape for at least a week. and honestly, while there has been some good competition, idk if she'll ever be beaten, and idk if thats bias talking or just the objective truth, but i encourage all bl's to keep giving it their bests shot

❤️🧡💛bl ask game💚💙💜

[kanouseis]

Top 5 Kamen Riders! (adaptations included)

okay so im gonna do this both ways as in favorite riders the shows and favorite riders the characters

for shows:

1. kamen rider w (wbk, my forever beloved, i dont think this will stop being my favorite soon. the fucking detective show. DUB E X crime and the city. fucking found family. hidari shotaro MY GUY. so much insanity just look at my header on here. phillip :')))) i have so many feelings and im forcing myself to stop here. ryu voice Dont Ask Me Questions.)

2. kamen rider ex aid (my first rider and yknow you dont forget your first rider. the gamer doctors are my beloved. the suits are so cool (taddle legacy!!!) kiriya is here AND HANAYA TAIGA. WHY IS HE LIKE THIS. taihii the most insane ship dynamic ever. POPPY MY BELOVED <33333 the character songs are So Good. i like real game and the taddle legacy theme a normal amount. EXCITE EXCITE ALL I GOTTA DO IS LIVE ON)

3. kamen rider ghost (big part of this is takeru which ill get to later. but goood theres so much good in this show. warera omou yue ni warera ari!!!! its literally so fun. and the messages are so good!!! life is beautiful and i never want to die. makoala and takekari marriages happened and nothing else is canon. THE BELT NOISE THE BELT NOISES. mugen ghost is my fav final form ever. that one henshin scene from the summer movie kills me. keep going go go go go go go gotta ghost!!!!!)

4. everything else ive watched so ooo and revice (ooo: i need to rewatch this one actually bc it made me feel so much but then i watched w next so yeah. ANKHEIJI LEGENDARY GAY OF ALL TIME. i love all the characters so so so fucking much but especially eiji this fucking guy. the greeed my beloved... the insert songs!!! so many times you can find me singing SONO SHUNKAN NOMIKOMARERU DAAKU SAIDO NO KIKEN NA YOUKUBO. so yeah you count the medals one two and three anything goes life goes on coming up ooo :')) (revice: free theraphy show fr fr. like just good vibes all around. loved this one so much. there is tragedy but we prevail. the music is fucking amazing i have listened to mirage mirror 73 times within a single month of discovering it. the suits!!! daiji and ikki and sakura the siblings ever. hana makes me emotional and also hanasaku oh my god heated drama between women. deep drop danger kamen rider demons INSANE belt noises in general. THE THEMES IN THIS SHOW YES I WILL LOVE MYSELF.)

and im not ranking gaim & gotchard since i havent finished them

now for rider characters:

1. shotaro/kamen rider w & kamen rider joker (the fucking guy ever. god. i like him so much its a little distressing. hes my best friend. i want to dress like him sort of unironically. i am feverishly waiting for my joker memory to arrive. HIS BACKSTORY MAKES ME SO SAD. LIKE I CAN EMPATHISE. SO MUCH. and his dynamic with phillip akiko ryu i :'))) the found family ever. yeah. i often rewatch w ep49 just for the joker scenes. i have his birthday as per my headcanon in my calendar. i am not normal)

2. taiga/kamen rider snipe (so. hes my type of character so fucking much. broken sad lonely fucker of a guy. i want to kill i also want to hug him and i want to make him kiss hiiro. saving people to save yourself,,,,, yeah. NICO TAIGA THE SIBLINGS EVER. babang bang bang babang bang shooting uh. his fucking emo fringe neon suit. the dog tags he wears for no reason. THE SNIPE PREQUELLLLL im gonna stop here before it derails but oh my fucking lord)

3. takeru/kamen rider ghost (YEAH SO. tied for my fav main rider with eiji. takeru is incredibly important to me if he werent the same age as my brother id call him son but alas. i want a hug from him i think it would fix me. his fucking journey as a character..... he makes me sad but like happy sad. like i appreciate life more when im sad about him. his scenes in the pacman movie literally kill me. you always gotta keep going chasing after life its the only way you can live. go go go ghost [i start crying uncontrollably])

4. daiji/kamen rider live (bonded with this guy 6 episodes into revice its insane. this character is insane. i need to hug him. his fucking character song is therapy for me. KAGERO YOU FUCKING EMO EBOY. daijis vcinema is so good and i felt so much. i love the evililtylive suit despite the stupid name. i just love daiji in general and i dont ever think about how his actor is the same age as me <3)

5. eiji/kamen rider ooo (MY GUY MY GUY MY GUUUUUUY. i need to give him a hug. hes been through so much. but he still. he still is Like this. like what the fuck genuinely. the scene from ep30 is in my head constantly. tied for my fav main rider with takeru bc god does eiji make me feel things. but this is so fucking long already if you need to hear me cry about him send me an ask bc. ohmygod. HINO FUCKING EIJI. i dont Ever think about him in zi-o. and ooo 10th is not real)

[epicfranb]

haven't watched sausage's empires in a long time so now im catching up and gotta say he's quickly climbing up my blorbo ranks rn.... i reaaaaly don't like the direction he took his story, i hate the "evil version" type of plot/character and this evil sausage (sounds funny lol) isn't intersting to me at all (haven't watched s1) BUT instaed of being sad abt it im remembering the beginning of the season where i was so excited about Sanctuary, from the building style to sausage's character and his story, to the amount of detail he puts into EVERYTHING-- i had so much thoughts about what kind of story he was crafting, like, if Sanctuary is so vibrant and colorful and naturey, why is its outpost on the bridge a sword that doesn't have all that color and playfulnes to it? i would expect weapons of Sanctuary to be all vibrant and ornate and beatiful, but instead they look cold and serious? like, a staff of sanctuary is something that i would expect his weapons to look like, and they ARE beatiful, but not in the way that i'd expect. Throughout earlier episodes, wasn't Sausage being hunted by someone? i assumed the king from that kingdom he ran from sent assasins after him or something, given Sausage seems important? i thought that king was going to be the villain somehow, but maybe that was also just a refernce to s1??? (i wouldn't know) there was that whole thing about abusing the magic of nature for your own selfish goals, which Sausage vowed to never do, but so far it didn't really lead to anything or wasn't even mentioned?... idk maybe im misremembering things and should rewatch the earlier episodes (and wacth s1 lol)

anyway just my thoughts. at fisrt when i started watching him i did just because i wanted to keep up with what was happening. there was even a point where i was hoping to keep up with every emp member (i watch a half of them i think). and even tho i did enjoy his videos and the lore and the character he played, i was always under that pressure to make sure i watch and remember everything so i just didn't have time to properly enjoy it!!! now i dont pressure myself to keep up with everything (whcih happened after i realized i physically cannot keep up with all the tcg matches, even tho i wnated to) and i find that im able to enjoy he videos so much more!!! like, recetnly i watched a scar video and it felt like watching s7 again, back when i first got into hc!!! it was so nice, and now? even tho i don't enjoy the story that sausage is doing i do still enjoy him as a creator and his character and it's so fun and i can view him in a new light of like,, just being this illy goofy guy, a little feral but infinitely kind and compassionate !!!

just enjoying stuff with no pressure is nice. i still have so much to watch but im taking it slowly

[mummer]

How would you rank the Wes Anderson films you’ve seen? Not necessarily in a best-worst list. While I can’t rank them in a tier myself, I could easily go my whole life without watching Rushmore or Darjeeling again. That’s not something I could say about Tenenbaums or Asteroid City.

this is an interesting question! im honestly relatively new to a lot of his filmography so idk if i have super strong hard opinions on a lot of it, i’d like to watch them all at least a couple times 🤔 also i havent seen bottle rocket or any of his short films

s tier: asteroid city, sorry but i literally cannot remember another movie ive watched that many times in that short a period so it’s gotta mean something to me lmao (IT’S ON VOD TODAY YOU DONT HAVE AN EXCUSE)

a tier: royal tenenbaums (i was really sleepy when i watched it but i know on rewatch it’s gonna slay me), grand budapest (seen a couple times, probably the most tightly directed, really a comedy, i could just throw it on whenever no problem, dont emotionally connect with it tho tbh)

really good: life aquatic (incredibly funny script, zissou is such an unlikeable main character it started bothering me, however bill murray should probably have gotten an oscar for it, absolutely gonzo insane direction where i literally could not comprehend how they made most of it, all timer blanchett accent, gorgeous), moonrise kingdom (it’s so small scale! very very cute but unless you get really tethered to the love story you do feel the smallness)

fun time: darjeeling ltd (i like brother drama, the train is cool), fantastic mr fox (i have beef with roald dahl wes innocent), french dispatch (unclear memories, only saw in the theatre, enjoyed it at the time, timothee should only play comedic roles), rushmore (it’s very cute and sweet and schwartzman is just a tiny baby giving the performance of a lifetime)

dont remember: isle of dogs, literally 0 memory of this whatsoever. there were dogs idk

[jomnki]

i really like iruma-kun the series and how it values all types of relationships. the only arc i have some problem with is the harvest festival arc, which is great too but also it really delved into shounen territory. everything i have irks about the series is majorly due to mha trauma im just, reaally tired of the "unique power training is odd but actually its helpful because the students don't get it and when they do we show a montage of them getting it and also entire segments to show that they are using it." and the midoriya eyes. and the protagonist has potential to grow STRONG because HE ISN'T LIKE THE OTHER GUYS. oh my god I'm just frustrated at myself at this point because i keep spotting similarities to the mha when there isn't really that many and it's not so egregious it takes away from the show. i mean i really like the series but also the entirety of the harvest arc i just couldn't take it seriously? like, in comparison i liked the theme park arc because they didn't take themselves to seriously and made it really goofy. i was dreading it when the monsters came in threes and was like "oh god they're gonna spend an entire episode focused on one group cooly showing off their powers and explaining them and have them anime grunt and stuff". but they didn't. they made the boys run around screaming like a slapstick cartoon which is really fucking refreshing. it was the first time we got to see opera and amelie fight. saburo and alice used their fight to have character development and there was no 60 minute long monologue about how they need to believe in themselves. that was all good! fine! a perfect mix of what the series is! relationships and bonds! and then the harvest arc came and everyone is being taken super seriously like this isn't a goofy ass drama comedy anime about a cartoonishly neglected 14 year old who can inhumanly dodge anything because he's so neglected. Whhhy did it turn almost into a dick.measuring contest on "look at how cool my powers are look at the narrator going "bloodline magic:...he can (five minute rambling) his way out of anything!!!!" i mean, to be fair it eased off on that really quickly after the initial intros to everyone's progress. but really like. why are you mhaing this. i dont want to watch fight sequences because everyone at this point is fucking exhausted of shounen anime. oh a new enemy is underestimating us? new blast attack. new arrow attack. new sexy attack. new big brain attack. surprise! reveal! arent we so cool!! arent we so awesome!!!!! was it fun?? something that has been repeated 5 million times in other shows you'll definitely rewatch this arc right?? why the hell are these guys in the misfit class when one of them is literally the most academic student in the entire school?? they literally All have bloodline magic which is apparently really rare? why do they get put in the bad stinky classroom? the wind blade guy isn't even that problematic compared to the other students?? it feels like they all have way more potential than others do in a demon world so why are they in the basement??? if iruma wasn't here would they all have flunked because the guy who cam make giant earthquakes isn't Powerful enough to be a rank 5 demon??? hello?? do other students not get their own special tutors?? why shoehorn an exact cope of what the mha tutor arc was into what has really never been a shounen like series??? why have an arc dedicated to what their powers can do when it just really shows how odd it is that the misfit class exists when it seems they are MILES ahead of every other first year??

its not like i know how to fix this either, or if it even needs fixing in the first place. im just complaining because it reminds me of the mha anime and i see everything as a parody of itself like "no. this is OUR hero academia." or something. brainrot. braindead. death.

[roseposts-stuff]

hello hello hello!!! it is time for doctor who rankings, this time, series 10!!!! disclaimer im just basically doing this for my own benefit and ALSO. i will probably disagree with myself the moment i post this so like. not definitive lmaoooo

1. Extremis (10x6) - i love love love this episode!! it's really good in my opinion, i like the flashbacks to Missy and the Doctor and i love the idea of the characters being in a computer simulation. having the doctor be blind is really interesting as well, and the monks look really cool (and creepy)!!

2. Oxygen (10x5) - this is such a brilliant story in my opinion, i love the plot throughout, it's really fun. i love the message it sends haha, and oh the spacesuits sort of coming alive is brilliant!! just really good all round i think

3. World Enough and Time/The Doctor Falls (10x11/10x12) - this is one of my favourite finales!! the gravity thing is really interesting, bill's death is just HORRIBLE, and i just love the design of mondasian cybermen, i love the master and missy together, and i was so surprised to see the sweet little guy turned out to be the master!!! it was really cool. i love the doctor just doing his best to protect the kids, i just love doctor who for the kindness of it

4. Twice Upon A Time (10x0) - i really love this episode as well, it's really fun, and i love 12 and 1 together, although i do think the misogyny could've been left out, or at least it didn't have to be THAT excessive, but honestly, i wasn't too mad because it was really funny to see 12 and bill react to it lmao. otherwise it was cool, and i liked the twist of there not being an evil plan actually, and i LOVED the ending so much!!! and obviously 12's regeneration is brilliant

5. Thin Ice (10x3) - i really like this episode, i love 12 and bill together, stan 12 punching a racist. i love the orphans as well, they were adorable and i'm so glad they got to be safe. the sea creature was cool as well

6. The Return of Doctor Mysterio (10x0) - this is really funny lol, way better than i remembered honestly!! i enjoyed it throughout and just had such a great time. initially i didn't like the superhero aspect of it, but it definitely grew on me on a second watch, and it did make great comedy

7. The Eaters of Light (10x10) - this was a lot better than i remembered as well! i love bill and the romans, i love 12 and nardole, and i really enjoyed the story as well. also, "death by scotland" made me laugh lol, i love nardole

8. The Pyramid at the End of the World (10x7) - i like 12's struggle with his blindness, it was really interesting to see. i really liked that people were able to choose peace, go us, for once! but yeah, i loved seeing 12 try to figure out what to do without being able to see, and bill giving up the world just so he could live was so sweet actually, bill is just so amazing

9. The Pilot (10x1) - i REALLY love bill's introduction, she's brilliant from the first second, and i love that 12 is a professor, it suits him really well. i definitely like this episode, but it's not among my favourites. still, decent doctor who, and i LOVE how bill asks so many questions lol

10. Knock Knock (10x4) - i liked seeing bill with her friends, and honestly, i kinda hope we could've seen more of them :( also, seeing hercule poirot suddenly appear was wild lmao. yeah, i like this story, actually, it's fun and it's pretty creative. not a favourite for me, but i enjoyed watching it

11. The Lie of the Land (10x8) - i like that bill was able to keep her memory, she's brilliant. once again love 12, bill and nardole together, but i'm not a fan of the fake regeneration honestly. either way, really enjoyable for the most part i think, but not my favourite episode

12. Smile (10x2) - i like bill and 12, this is a great second adventure for them, i like the robots, they're pretty fun. i don't think i'd rush to rewatch this, but it was nice enough and i don't really have real complaints about it, not bad but not the best either

13. Empress of Mars (10x9) - definitely my least favourite from the series, it's not as bad as i remembered, but it's. not very good, i don't think. it's a bit boring, and i think i've maybe mentioned, not sure, but mark gatiss' writing just usually isn't for me, not sure why not. yeah, i liked bill and 12's discussions and i liked the captain and i liked that the ice queen didn't kill him, but i think this was just a bit boring and not that interesting

there we are then!!! lol, hope you enjoyed my thoughts :D (edit: i moved lie of the land lower because i decided it wasn't that good)

[feuqueerfire]

April 2023 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

A little monthly (spoilery!) wrap-up of all the shows, movies, and shorts I’ve watched or am watching in April 2023, general thoughts, and ranking of them all.

Recommendation of the month: Dirty Laundry was fun!

Ranking

The Merciless

Kiss Me Again: Pete-Kao cut (rewatch) = Dirty Laundry

Midnight Museum

Average Rating: 6.125/10 [lowest for the year so far :< hopefully better next month]

MDL Updates - Added to Watchlist:

A section because I’m curious about how many shows I decide to add to my Watch List a month and also the ratio of watching them:adding them.

Midnight Museum

I Go to School Not by Bus (2015): There’s this one tiktok I liked a while ago and haha yeah

Bed Friend

Unintentional Love Story

The Eighth Sense

To Watch List At Start Of Month: 56

To Watch List At End Of Month: 57 [Currently: Our Skyy 2, Bed Friend]

Removed from To Watch List:

None

Watching On-Air

Our Skyy 2 

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Apr 19, 2023 - ONGOING

Watch Via: GMMTV YT (free)

Watch Dates: Apr 22 - ONGOING, 2023

Never Let Me Go: It was cute and fun and I'm happy to have seen Nueng and Palm one more time. Goodbye, Palm and Nueng. [6.5/10]

Star In My Mind: In Ep 1, they were soo cute and I liked scheming Daonuea. Ep 2 is boring rip. Also glad that Nuea initiates or reciprocates Kluen’s advances often enough it’s an uncomfortable dynamic otherwise. [5.5/10]

tags: our skyy 2, never let me go, gmmtv 2023, star in my mind

Also Appears In: Our Skyy 2 Live Blogging

Completely Watched

The Merciless (2017) - non-queer

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: May 17, 2017

Watch Via: Netflix, so :>

Watch Dates: Apr 1, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: I do like going into shows and movies knowing very little, so every twist was fun for me; none of it blew my mind but I was still surprised nearly every time because I wasn't trying to predict the twists or anything. Im Siwan is just really good at these sorts of roles I guess, his situation, dynamic with the other male lead, and ending had similarities to Strangers From Hell for sure (or I should say it the other way around because this came first). I wish so much of the movie wasn't in such darkness though, I can't fucking see rip. I wasn't that into the bromance aspect but did like how intertwined they were and how willing to trust the other and how that trust got betrayed.

Also Appears In: The Merciless Live Blogging

My School President non-rewatching rewatch because I'm watching the reaction by ReactionsByJavi. I've been obsessed with FourthGemini recently and am excited for OurSkyyxMSP and just want more of them (23.5 when?). I might watch some FourthGemini interviews and stuff too, who knows, but I've been following translation accounts for them and they've been so funny in their events this early April lol.

I watched all 12 eps reactions by ReactionsByJavi and 2, 3 + parts of 1, 12 by ธีร์สนุกสนาน [T sanuksanan]. I'm gonna raise my rating to 7.5 because I really liked this show :> and my favourite ep is 3. April 4: Gotta update rating in liveblogging, monthly wrap-up, 2023 masterlist, my spreadsheet, MDL, whew.

Midnight Museum - non-BL

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Mar 6, 2023 - Apr 4, 2023

Watch Via: GMMTV YT (free)

Watch Dates: Apr 5 - 7, 2023

Rating: 5.5/10

Overall Impression: I liked the first half with the artifacts and side stories more than the second half where they tried to do too much for a short runtime, not too much budget, and mediocre writing skills. I couldn't make myself care about Khatha or Dome and also it was funny how they kept emphasizing phi-nong with words but so romantic in action. I wish the fantasy and magic and parallel universes and time travel and cult and God and whatever else made more sense together.

tags: midnight museum

Also Appears In: Midnight Museum Live Blogging

Agh, I have barely been watching anything this month.

I think after focusing on less romantic shows the first few months of the year, I’m just craving some regular old familiar cheesy low-stakes BL but I also don’t really wanna start a new show (and Bed Friend seems a little too stressful). Wasn’t sure what I wanted to even rewatch, so I rewatched Gifted S1 via ReactionsWithJavi reactions and on April 16, watched ep 9-11 of Love In The Air SkyPai story. 

Can’t wait for Our Skyy to start so that I can at least have that to fulfill my romance BLs but with familiar characters but also not rewatch a whole show; wanted something new with the familiar and Our Skyy really is made for that.

Kiss Me Again: Pete-Kao cut

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jun 19, 2018 - Aug 9, 2018

Watch Via: GMMTV YT (free)

Watch Dates: Apr 18, 2023

Rating: 6/10 [I’m not changing it from before]

Overall Impression: continuing on my can’t-watch-anything-new-that-i-have-high-hopes-for. I’ve been kinda craving like a very typical school BL that doesn’t have much going on outside of the ship dynamic and this delivers. Repressed and insane Pete who does stupid shit like get together with Mint again bc he thinks he’s jealous of Kao and then crash Kao and Sun’s dinner is so funny. Also the background music in this is jarring. Pete’s father continues to be great.  

Rewatched Moonlight Chicken Heart/LiMing scenes via ReactionswithJavi and ahhh I love them so bad like T.T 

Dirty Laundry

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jan 18, 2023 - Feb 2, 2023

Watch Via: GMMTV YT (free)

Watch Dates: Apr 25 - 28, 2023

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: Personally worth watching just to see the plethora of the gendered terms used with Night in drag/pretending to be kathoey (esp with Momey). Also liked the ending with “but who’s gonna direct?” [look into the camera] [screen with Directed by Jojo’s name] This was really fun and kept my attention well. I’ve seen people say that the humour didn’t work for them but it did for me. Also fun to see actors like Nanon, Film, Pond in these roles.

tags: dirty laundry

Rewatched SOTUS eps 9-13 and the second half of 15 lol I think I’m just maybe in a typical uni BL mood. rewatching is so fun though, I get to lament that there were so many girls in this engineering friend group and even a lesbian unlike these days where there are 0 to 1 female friends. Also, I didn’t know the Thai honorifics as much when I watched this over a year ago but now Kongpob being like “Then you can drop the formality of khun and phom and change to Phi and nong instead” and Arthit being like “That’s totally up to me. You got a problem with that?” ahhh it’s so alskdjak younger pursuer/seme/top/1/whatever my beloved

Started watching Bed Friend rip should’ve done earlier or waited 2 days but it is what it is. 

Wonder how much I’ll get to watch shows now that I’m gonna have a 9-5 for the next 4 months oof

Worked on GeminiFourth April Roundup this month, will try to do it for next month too

[zaptrap]

like, as far as ninjago goes, none of the flaws were really that new i guess? like

undoing stuff from past seasons: they retcon stuff like every season, but it still sucks that they immediately undid seabound. there was probably a better way to bring nya back, but id have to think on it more. maybe something where water-dragon nya is fighting the vengestone army, but then starts losing her powers, and the others are like WAIT GUYS MAYBE WE CAN GET NYA BACK THIS WAY or smth, idk. Oh, i will say though- seabound was honestly the first time i actually bought jaya as a couple who like.....actually like each other and it was nice seeing them being cute in this season too lmao.

the Big Bad being defeated too easily: this one's actually really funny cuz the overlord has been defeated very simply like...3 times now lmfao. season 2, he ate lloyds golden dragon and then exploded. season 3, while tonally great, was basically just zane shooting a ton of ice at the overlord and then exploding. i think they could've amped up the hype for the overlord "dying" a third time, but the exact method in which he was defeated (getting frozen and killed by golden energy) is 3-for-3 lmfao.

quick aside, but why would oni power have been the key to defeating the overlord? if the overlord is the embodiment of evil and oni embody destruction. to me, dragon/golden power made more sense. still enjoyed oni lloyd tho, hope we get to see more in the future. like maybe dragon power becomes too much and he needs to use oni to return balance or smth

forced romance: has been around since the pilots lmfao.... while i normally hate this shit, it didn't feel too egregious this season? (besides that kailor scene lmfao that was kinda cringe). early season jaya was like, painful to watch lmfao it was like "nya is girl.... SHE MUST BE WITH JAY!!!! even though they never get along and haven't shown any reason to like each other besides jay liking gorl!!!!! THEY'RE IN LOVE GUYS!!!!!!" and i did catch a whiff of that with harumi and lloyd, but they didn't like, actually do anything explicitly romantic????? weird redemption arc thing but i like harumi and llorumi so smth smth bias lmao. i REEEEAAALLY WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HER DURING THE MERGE MAN

weird power nonsense: yeah idk what was going on here LOL. i need someone to explain to me how powers work in this series cuz they change it every season lmfao

poor writing/pacing: *gestures to skybound rewrite fics*

Other thoughts:

i actually liked lloyd this season LOL he's very.... stale bread normally so seeing him ACTUALLY BE ANGRY FOR ONCE was nice. HE HAS A LOT TO BE MAD ABOUT ITS NOT LIKE HE DECIDED TO BE THE CHOSEN ONE he just has to deal with everything!!! i know people and characters deal with stress in their own ways, and not everyone deals with it via anger, but like. angry is fun. angry makes ppl fight other ppl and ppl fighting makes serp very happy hehehehe

EVERYTHING. WAS PURPLE. AND PURPLE IS MY FAV COLOR so i literally have aesthetic bias towards this season EVERYTHING WAS EYECANDY LMFAO

In terms of rewatchability, I could see myself rewatching at least parts from this season. There were a lot of moments I liked, and a some that I loved. Unliked..... a certain other season.......... lmao........

i'm not sure where this ranks of my "fav season" list. maybe upper middle? id need to make a list but in order to make a proper list, id need to rewatch skybound...and hands of time..........idk man.........................idk.......................................

yeah idk i had a good time watching this lmao. and now i get to rewatch DR! wyldfyre my daughter im on my way

LMAO i actually rlly enjoyed crystallized. it obviously has flaws but i mean, so does every season

[yesimwriting]

Crossing lines

General Kirigan/the darkling x reader

Summary: This was requested by my friend @vvsdiamond28 who also writes and has a really good kirigan x reader story up right now! The request was basically for a fic in which the reader is out wandering at night and runs into kirigan while he’s in the banya and then they get to talking and some other stuff before he admits to only trusting the reader and giving her his real name. This gets kinda steamy bc of the request and bc the story called for it lol but it’s not full smut bc i decided that it would be better to do that as a part 2 so that i could add some jealousy tension haha

a/n i think im back?? Ive been working on requests a lot and ive really enjoyed writing regularly again. A small side note, after rewatching revenge of the sith im kinda in the mood to try writing an anakin fic 😭 pls he was my OG fictional crush,, so either send help or a request for him or something, Anyways,, back to this fic--ahh i had fun writing it but i still feel awkward writing steamier stuff so be nice!! 

-- 

Those that wander in the night, lost in uneasy thought--there’s probably a lot that can be said about them. But I can’t think of anything to be said about me. Nothing good comes from walking around a place full of powerful and tense people in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t take much effort to interpret my actions as suspicious, and yet I continue forward. I’m an idiot--just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean I have to wander around campgrounds. My presence is barely tolerated here, I shouldn’t try backstroking in waters I can barely tread. 

But still, I walk, eyes more fixated on the open night sky than anything else. The moon is as full as an overflowing glass, the stars twinkling as if desperate to compete with a light it will never be able to duplicate. I sigh, pressing my lips together. Maybe the stars and I have more in common than I thought. Normally, that would be a good thing. 

Letting out a weary breath, I continue forward, away from the relative safety of the main tents. I’m still on the grounds, I’m approaching the border where the tents of higher ranking officials are. That should make me more nervous, but if anything it almost eases me slightly. 

General Kirigan is not the type to be friendly, and yet our interactions have always been laced with a touch of intimacy I can’t quite explain. We’ve been alone together more and more frequently, and I think that’s how I like him best. It’s strange, but when we’re alone some of his sharpness dulls, leaving space for something I might consider humor or actual personality on anyone else. He probably speaks to many girls like that when they’re alone together--a fact I have to fight to remind myself of--but it’s the closest thing to friendship I have here. Maybe it’s foolish to hold onto that, but I can’t bring myself to release my grip on those sentiments. At least not yet, when the kind moments are still rare and fleeting and no line has been crossed. 

The danger, however, comes from the prospect of not recognizing lines before they’re crossed. Even now, as I walk aimlessly in the night, pacing in hopes of exhausting my thoughts, I’m crossing lines in a much more literal way and even these are ill defined. I must be in new territory now, and even that I can only vaguely recognize because of the strangely humid scent that surrounds this area of the grounds. 

I’m near the banya. I didn’t intend to wander here, but the thought of splashing water on my face is too tempting to pass up on. I move closer, finding a sense of peace in having some direction, even in a small way. 

When the promise of water is only steps away, I begin to regret everything. There’s a figure in the bath. I freeze, ready to attempt to shrink away in hopes of disappearing before I’m caught. This could easily turn extremely awkward even though I technically haven’t done anything. Most people don’t bathe at this hour. Who bathes this late at night? 

I keep my eyes on the individual, trying to make out who they are and how aware they are of their surroundings in the dim light. Pale skin, dark hair--unbelievably attractive torso. My eyes linger there longer than they should. I force my gaze upwards, towards their face as if that can erase my ogling. Embarrassment leaves my face burning--I’m not the ‘ogling’ type, and this person doesn’t even know I’m here. I keep my eyes on them as I step back, taking in unaware features as best I can in the dark. 

I know them--I--Saints, it’s Kirigan. 

Fantastic. Of course he has to be even more impossibly attractive while shirtless and wet. I turn my head upwards sharply, more desperate to not be caught than ever. I would never, ever recover from being caught. Whether he’d tease me or be angry with me, I don’t know. I also don’t know which option I’d prefer. 

I step back again, my gait wider due to my urgency. Snap. The sound of both a twig and my chance of a stealthy escape being shattered. I cringe, craning my neck to the left in a desperate attempt to make it clear that I wasn’t watching him. I take another desperate step, ready to duck behind a nearby tree. Maybe he hasn’t seen me--maybe he’s distracted and assumed that some kind of rabbit or something passed by. He may not actively dislike me, but I’m not sure any semblance of favor he may have for me extends to this situation.

“Y/n.” His tone reveals nothing but his level of certainty. Ignoring him will only make me seem guilty. 

I pause, keeping my gaze off of him. “Yes.” It wasn’t really a question, and yet I still answer it like one. “I was--I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get some air, and I was walking kind of aimlessly and I ended up here and I didn’t think anyone would be here.” Why do I feel like I’m making this situation worse? “I’m sorry--I’m gonna--I’m going to go now.” This is the kind of embarrassing moment that will come back to me when I’m trying to fall asleep at night. I know it.

“You know the polite thing to do after intruding is to make eye contact.” 

I don’t think my face has ever felt this warm before. At least he doesn’t sound angry, but his voice doesn’t reveal that much. I raise my gaze carefully, turning my head slowly. “I didn’t mean,” I exhale slowly, “It wasn’t my intention to intrude.” 

He straightens slightly at my words, exposing more of his chest. I stay still, eyes trained on his to avoid an accidental lapse. “You could make it up to me by offering conversation.” Kirigan’s tone is deliberate, his words measured and calm. I don’t speak, feeling like I’m being presented a test I don’t understand, but most of our conversations leave me feeling like that. “Only if you’re comfortable.” 

And just like that, I’m backed into a corner. A challenge. To deny him now would be to expose the effect he has on me. My chin raises a fraction of an inch as I take in that assured half-smirk. “Why wouldn’t I be comfortable?” 

Kirigan arches a dark brow, assessing my response. “Then sit,” his voice has not changed, “You want air and I want company.” 

I don’t think anyone that looks as good as he does shirtless has ever had trouble finding company, especially with the smooth way he speaks. Despite this, I step forward to accept his challenge without calling him out on his coyness. Each step is the crossing of another invisible line until I’m near the water’s edge. I make sure to keep my nightgown at a respectable length as I sit down. 

I make a point of extending my legs towards the water while leaning back so that I can’t be easily accused of being a coward. “I feel the need to warn you that I might not make particularly interesting company.”

He angles his head to the side slightly, drawing attention to his jawline and neck. I force my stare to focus on the water. “I’ve never found you uninteresting.” 

There’s something resigned in the way he says this. On instinct, I look up, taking in the slight softening of his features. The release of his usual sternness only adds to his beauty, a fact that I’m already resenting. 

“You may be the only one.” It’s not meant to be a deprecating comment, but I’m not sure my partial laugh softens my bitterness. I hope it does--I’d rather his interest than the interest of my entire unit. 

Kirigan shifts forward, the water moving with him. “Do you think that any coldness you’re experiencing has to do with you?” 

The question has me drawing my eyebrows together. What else could it be? I shrug, “I’ve considered it.” 

He nods once, eyes hardening slightly. “Do you always have trouble sleeping?” 

The personalness of the question shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does. Kirigan seems to only understand boundaries when he’s the one setting them. “Not really.” A partial lie--this time I’m glad I can’t quite bring myself to look at him. “It’s not uncommon for me, but it’s not something I deal with every night.” 

I risk shifting my eyeline when I hear the sound of water moving. Kirigan’s now resting an arm on the rim of the pool, wet skin dangerously close to my ankle and lower calf. “It’s not always easy,” his voice is low now, “Being alone with your thoughts.” 

That’s not the kind of reply I’d expect from him. I blink twice before turning to study his expression. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him seem so tired--so weary and human and in need of something. The line between his eyebrows and the far off quality of his eyes leave me with the strong desire to give whatever it is he needs to him. The urge to reach out, to touch him in hopes of breaking him free from his odd trance leaves my stomach knotted. That line is too clear to cross so recklessly.

I need to chase away the serious atmosphere he’s created. “Is that why you bathe so late at night?” I let myself smile, “To avoid thoughts?” 

“I like the peace of it.” Something akin to amusement touches his words. “And for the record, little dove,” the nickname is pointed and earns him an eyeroll, “The warm water doesn’t exactly chase away thoughts so much as encourages others.” He pauses. “You understand, considering you can barely look at me.”

This is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened. The suggestive jilt to his words has to be intentional. Damn him. I turn my head, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I can look at you just fine.” 

“And if I were a Heartrender and could hear your heartbeat your pulse would be normal?” The question is teasing, a small smile pulling at his lips. 

The warmth in my face increases, spreading down my neck. Kirigan’s expression remains smug. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.” 

“No?” He leans forward, angling his head so close to me I can faintly feel the warmth of his breath on my lower calf. “I find myself amusing.” 

At least being around him like this is getting easier. I open my mouth, ready to provide some sarcastic comment I haven’t thought out yet. My mouth clamps shut on instinct when I feel his touch on my ankle. The faint contact quickly grows, his fingers brushing up my ankle and calf, leaving drops of cool water across my skin.

“What are you doing?” That’s a--a fair question, right? I’m not sure, rational thought slipping from me more and more with each passing second. 

“Nothing, really,” his reply is quick. “Nervous?” 

There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I roll my eyes, fighting against my instinctual fluster. “No,” a full lie, “You’re just getting me wet.” 

“Barely.” When he’s not busy being brooding he’s not much better than an irritating child. He retracts his hand slowly, fingers grazing my skin slowly as he submerges his hand beneath the water. The loss of contact should feel like a victory. It doesn’t. “Y/n,” he shifts closer, back straightening.

There’s an odd seriousness to his demeanor that almost leaves me reeling. “Yes?” 

He beckons me forward. I hesitate, but comply, letting myself shift closer to the water’s edge. Kirgan’s lips part, but no words leave him before he moves his arm, purposefully splashing water over my thighs and bottom of my nightgown. I let out an instinctively annoyed sound. “That is getting you wet.” 

“Kirigan!” My tone is as menacing as I can make it, but he continues to grin. There’s such a lightness to the look I almost forget to be annoyed. Almost. “I should tell the entire Second Army how much of a child you are.” 

My threat does nothing, his smile softening without fading. “They fear me too much for your stories to make a difference.” He says this flatly. “All of them except you.” 

I don’t know if I’m supposed to make something of that comment. A brief moment passes in which I think his eyes come close to softening. Maybe that’s a side effect of seeing the world as you want. Wait...what do I want? Him? No, no, I can’t. 

Okay, he’s objectively attractive and sometimes I think I may see more depth in him than he wants to be capable of. But that doesn’t mean I’m allowed to want anything with him. Even if he was trustworthy enough for me to be with him in any capacity...even casually, it could never happen. Nothing good could come from having relations with the highest ranked general and I doubt he’d ever want me like that. He likes to fluster people and I’m an easy target. I just accept it because being some level of entertainment to him is better than being nothing to everyone. 

“I don’t think there’s much point in fear.” It feels like a fair answer. The fairest answer I can manage, anyways. 

He sighs, the sound heavy. His hand stretches forward cautiously. I watch him and make no attempt to stop him from touching my lower calf. His fingers trace absentmindedly across the skin. “Of course you’d think that.” 

Again, I don’t know what to make of his words. Or his actions. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me just slightly adjusting my position. It’d be a polite way to remind us both of the natural order of things. But then again, someone like him is allowed to be mad about anything. And I’m not sure I want to remind us of our place. 

Actually, I’m completely sure that I want the opposite of that. But admitting that to myself is enough of a risk. I’ve already crossed thousands of tiny lines and what I want will require us to cross a thousand more. 

“I’m a little surprised you’re not reminding me how foolish a notion like that can be.” 

He lets out a tiny breath as he shifts even closer to me. “Maybe I’m enjoying your foolishness.” 

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or the opposite.” 

The slightest hint of a smile is visible to me beneath the moon’s glow. There’s something about darkness that adds beauty to things. I wait for him to reply, but instead of speaking his  hand moves further up my leg. I struggle to hide my reaction to his long fingers trailing up my skin.

He’s touched me before, sure. Tiny moments in which he’d push a strand of hair out of my face or wipe at a bit of dirt on my cheekbone. More recently, he had gripped my hip firmly to guide me through a crowd of soldiers. He had been in a hurry, stealing me from a conversation with the only member of my unit that’s been somewhat friendly to me. It wasn’t serious--he had just been rushing me because he only had a minute between meetings and apparently he had too long of a day to not take a moment to speak with me. 

“Are you alright, Dovey?” Normally, the nickname and all of its variations earns him an eyeroll. But everything is a lot less humorous with his hand half up my lower leg, leaving a trail of cool water wherever he touches. 

His fingers press more firmly into my skin. “Yes, I’m fine--it’s just late.” 

“Hm…” Kirigan breathes before tilting his head slightly. “You’re warm.” I stay silent as his hand shifts slightly. “Perhaps too warm.” 

If I’m hot that has absolutely nothing to do with fever. “I’m fine, General, I promise.” 

“Come closer,” he says, “It’ll take me no time to check.” 

...A little too convenient. My nightgown is still embarrassingly damp from the last time I eased tonight. “Please tell me you don’t find me that naive.” 

“Naive? No.” He lifts his hand slightly. “Warm? Yes.” I still don’t trust him. “I’m not going to do anything. I promise.” 

His eyes are dark and the limited lighting of the moon doesn’t offer me much in my analysis, but what I can see makes him seem genuine. “Why do I feel like that’s not the first time you’ve had to say that?” Despite my comment, I move towards him. 

The back of Kirigan’s palm is pressed to my forehead for less than a second. He brushes his hand down the side of my temple, rotating his wrist so that his fingertips can touch my cheek. His hand then continues to move down my jawline and then my neck...and then finally trails down my collarbone. I bite my tongue to avoid exhaling audibly at the contact. 

“Warm,” he concludes with a tsk, and yet he doesn’t withdraw his hand. “Though that could just have to do with the climate.” His thumb slips beneath the sleeve of my nightgown. “Perhaps you could benefit from joining me.” 

I bite my tongue to avoid letting out a surprised, embarrassingly enthusiastic squeak. I don’t know what’s gotten into him...maybe it’s the night air and the prospect of being fully alone. I should be strong enough to break whatever spell he’s starting to place on me. But I’m not. I’m really, really not. 

He pulls on the sleeve of my nightgown slightly. “I’m…” 

“Unless you’re nervous?” Another damn challenge. To shy away from this would be to expose myself. He tugs on the sleeve a little more assuredly, exposing my shoulder to the humid night. “Do I make you nervous?” 

His voice comes out a shallow rasp. I feel it straight in my core. “...Not more than you should.” 

“More than I should?” 

Ugh--too honest. I let myself get distracted. It shouldn’t be too difficult to explain what I meant. He knows he’s feared. He wants to be feared. “I’m sure we’re both aware that there are a fair amount of cautionary tales revolving around you.” 

His hand falls next to my lap. Oh? I didn’t expect to miss the contact between us so much. His expression seems to have fallen slightly as well. Was it my response to his question? It felt fair and straightforward without being too blunt. “And you believe every cautionary tale you hear?” 

There’s something stiff about the way he asks the question. His moodiness is making me miss his touchiness even more. At least then I didn’t have to feel like I made a mistake. Did I say something wrong? “Should I?”

“It depends on whether or not you plan on being brave.” 

“I told you...I don’t see much point in fear.” 

“And yet you’re still there.” A bit of humor returns to his voice. “Why is that?” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift forward, letting my legs dip into the water. This is as far as I should let this go. I’ve already lost too much more control. “Better?” He’s strangely tense again, a hint of something bitter playing at the smug look he tries for. “You alright?”

“Of course you’d ask me that.” He says this with a tired sigh. “You can never make things easy.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

He shifts backwards slightly. I can feel the distance between us like I’d feel a pebble in my shoe. “Do you believe all the stories about me?” 

Is he still bothered by that? “I didn’t mean it as literally as you’re taking it. All I meant is that people are intimidated by you, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s the way things have to be, you’re the only Shadow Summoner in existence and the army needs you to be intimidating so that they can act on your guidance.”

“The way things have to be,” he echoes, his voice strangely weighted. “There’s a specific kind of loneliness that comes with being feared by everyone.” 

Oh--I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him feel defeated like that. I reach for his hand without thinking, pulling his fingers towards my lap. “I don’t--I’m not scared of you.” It’s a weak attempt to comfort him, but it’s the only one I can think of. “That probably doesn’t mean anything, but I--” 

His hand turns in my lap, squeezing the exposed part of my thigh. “It means something.” Kirigan’s voice has hardened in a different way. “You’re the only person I’m certain of.” 

Everything in me seems to tighten at that. At the implication of something so personal from someone so closed off. “Kirigan, you don’t have to be as alone as you feel. You talk to me all the time and you do so in a way that makes it easy to forget the cautionary tales.” His hand moves further up my thigh. I fight as I try to remember our usual dynamic. “You’re the only one that talks to me like that.” 

“Have you ever considered that maybe the others refuse to take to you because of the favor I’ve shown you? The instinct to stay away from me is strong enough to extend to those around me.” Kirigan’s hand moves higher up my thigh. “To be near me is to involve solitude.” 

“I don’t care.” The answer leaves me too quickly. “Being near you is worth it.” 

He leans closer before resting his chin on my knee with no hesitation. “Careful, you don’t understand the line you tread.” Kirigan places his hand more firmly between my thighs. “Or perhaps you do...perhaps you know what you want to cross.” 

This time I can’t help the airy sigh that leaves me. Kirigan pushes against my thigh slightly, separating my legs. I feel his breath on my inner thigh before I know what’s going on. I can’t move, I can’t think, I can’t even breathe. That inability to do anything but feel my heart pound against my chest only worsens as I feel his lips press into the inside of my thigh. His lips trail up my skin before his teeth gently sink into the top of my thigh. 

“Is the line you want to cross?” He breathes the question so softly I feel like I’m being coddled. Everything in me feels too hot to think of any kind of coherent response. Kirigan uses his free hand to pull the fabric of my nightgown as high up my thighs as he can from his position below me. “Or maybe this is the line you want to cross?” Kirigan pulls me forward so suddenly I let out a tiny gasp. I’m not fully on the edge of the banya. “Or perhaps this one?” He kisses the skin of my inner thigh gently. Each time I exhale too loudly, his teeth graze my skin. He gets harsher with each passing second. “Lay down.” 

My body listens to him on instinct. How is this happening? How am I this powerless to fight against something that’s so clearly wrong? The sound of water shifting causes my entire body to tense. He’s pulled himself out of the water. Kirigan moves above me instantly, water dripping from his toned chest and dark hair and onto my still damp nightgown. 

Before I can speak, he’s on me completely, his lips pressing against my jaw. He kisses down my neck, his teeth grazing against my skin sporadically. He pulls away from me by tracing his tongue across my collar bone. I let out something dangerously close to a moan. “Such pretty, little sounds.” 

“Kirigan--” 

“The only name I want you to hear from your lips is the only name that I’ve not given myself. The only name that holds meaning to me.” 

His lips graze where my skin meets the hem of my now soaked through nightgown. I’m not sure the poor lighting is offering me enough coverage now. There’s no way the thin fabric leaves much to the imagination while being this wet. He kisses up my chest and neck until his lips reach the shell of my ear. 

“Aleksander.” The name is grace in the form of a breath so soft it’s more like I’m feeling the name than actually hearing it. 

He presses his lips against the spot on my neck directly beneath my ear. I exhale into the contact. “Aleksander.” As I test his true name on my tongue, his teeth dig into my skin much more harshly than before. 

I let out a partial squeak at the sudden shift in pace as his hands grip my waist. “Say it again. Say my name again.”

He traces his tongue gingerly over the skin he just aggravated with his teeth before I can speak. The soothing sensation is so much I can barely find my voice. “Aleksander.” 

His hand bunches the bottom of my nightgown, raising the fabric to my hips. “...Say it just like that.” Kirgan’s rough hand slips between the bone of my hip and the fabric of my hip. “Like I’m the only one that knows you like this.”

“Aleksander.” I breathe as he traces invisible patterns into my skin with his lips. “Aleksander.” Each use of his name earns me extra attention--a stronger hold on my hip, a more adamant nip at the base of my neck. I feel my need for him so heavily I swear it’s leaked into my bones. “Aleksander.”

When he pulls away, I fight the urge to whine. The night is still humid, but with the absence of his touch I feel like I’m shivering. He regards me silently for a long moment before shifting his weight again. I feel my heart stall in my chest as his hand softly brushes a strand of hair out of my face. He lets his hand linger there, at the apple of my cheek. The entire world seems to stall as he leans down, his hand cupping the side of my face as his mouth inches closer to mine. 

“I can feel the fluttering of your heart.” 

Any poor defense dies in my throat as his lips meet mine. He gives me no time to think about what’s happening as he presses into me even harder. Kirigan holds my face as his teeth graze against my bottom lip. My mouth opens slightly in surprise, giving him the opportunity he needs to slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue slowly brushes against mine, coaxing me into total, delirious, compliance. When he starts to pull away, I react, my hands flying forward to grab his hair. He lets me get away with tugging him towards me, prolonging the kiss as he bites my bottom lip. 

One of his hands leaves my face and travels up the hands holding onto his hair. He pulls me off of him easily, pinning both of my wrists above my head with one hand. “Easy,” Kirigan warns, “You’ve been such a good girl, let’s not ruin it before we’ve started.” 

A tiny sigh leaves me. I can feel the pride he takes in that as his hand trails further down my body. His fingers ghost along the hem of my underwear teasingly. 

“Is someone there?” I’ve never damned the voice of a stranger more. 

Panic and dread roll in my stomach. I’m going to get caught like this, with my nightgown bunched at my hips beneath the General Kirigan. An unclothed, wet, General Kirigan. “I’m bathing.” 

Okay...good...Aleksander spoke. Anyone with common sense would run at the thought of invading on Kirgan’s privacy. It’s a good thing that the soldier had the sense to linger behind a thicket of bushes. “Pardon General, but there’s been a crucial development. A new strategy should be thought of as soon as possible.” 

No. No. The thought of losing contact so entirely, of having a moment that should have never happened be ripped from me before it’s even really happened is overwhelming. I feel my lips pull into a pout. Kirigan’s hand adjusts on me, his thumb pressing teasingly over where I’m neediest. I bite my tongue to avoid making an inappropriate noise. 

“Five minutes--I’ll be in the strategy tent in five minutes.” 

“I’ll tell the others, General.”

Great. I hear the stranger disappear, his feet crushing twigs and grass as he leaves us. Aleksander’s attention returns to me quickly. Disappointment swells in my chest as I take in the solemn look that crosses his features. His hand moves to my chin quickly before pulling me into another deep kiss. It’s too short lived. 

“I have to go.” 

Frowning, I lift my hand to trace my fingers up his arm. It’s softer than I should allow myself to be, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Not when this is probably never going to happen again. “Do you?” I mumble to myself, half joking.

He sighs once, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “No pouting.” 

Now that whatever little bubble we were in has popped, I’m capable of normal feelings. Including shame. “I am n--” 

“Easy, little dove, I’ll remember all of this when I find you again.” 

This...this is going to happen again? “You’re going to find me?” 

“I haven’t yet heard your voice crack on my name as I undo you.” He punctuates the promise with a kiss to my jaw. “Again.” Another kiss. “And again.” Another brush of his lips as he finally pulls away. “And again.” 

My breath catches itself in my throat as he moves off of me entirely. Damn whatever change in the war that’s pulled him away from me so suddenly. I sit up as he stands. I’m not sure where to look now that he’s not in close enough proximity to cloud my thoughts. I should leave as he dresses, but I can’t quite bring myself to. It doesn’t feel safe, not when the man that interrupted us could reappear at any moment. Not when I want to hold onto his presence like this as long as possible. 

 He squeezes my shoulder warmly as he passes before bending down to press one more kiss next to where his hand is. 

“Soon,” he promises again. 

--

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

[ariyadaivaris]

- oh god vic please come back. where have you gone. we miss you

- NEW GEAR! NEW GEAR FOR TONY the track jacket is obviously new (its very cute i like the rolled up sleeves+tape up to wrists look a lot) and his new goofy lil emblem on his kneepads. also its the same candy red as ariya's. unbearable! i can't stand them. good for him

- "a red wedding of sorts, if you will" HUH? YOU CAN'T SAY THAT. WHY DID HE SAY THAT

- ARIYA DID THE SLASH ACROSS THE THROAT THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT FEELS LIKE LIFETIMES SINCE HE'S DONE IT i love him. terrible. awful. scary <3

- the windup on ariya's elbow drops <3 he is a delight to watch...

- god i wish wish WISH 205 had some fucking storylines again!!!!!!!!!! i love tony and ariya and i love the bollywood boys, you know this, but if i have to watch another mostly directionless tag match that won't go anywhere or lead to anything because the cw division's plot-important stuff is relegated to nxt with an entirely different group of people and none of these guys are considered in high enough regard to reap the rewards of a division they built and carried on their backs for the last 5 years with NO fucking help or faith in them at all i'm going to go off the deep end. i would take an in-ring promo at this point. anything at fucking all   - commentary keeps pushing the "they're working harder than ever to get a title shot" thing and it's just so. i'm insanely depressed about it. does ANYONE genuinely believe, watching this, that they will ever be given a title shot? do the four men in this ring right now have any hope that they will ever see that title on their show again, never mind get a chance at it?   - ariya really isn't ever gonna be a champion is he. the division gets some steam and he's never going to be a part of it. i'm so mad all the time. lol

- its...a struggle to watch 205 recently. it is a struggle to do fucking anything recently but this especially is hard because 205 is like. My Thing. that is the one thing that i am in it for, this is the one thing i have to look forward to on a weekly basis, to mark the passage of time for myself. and i just can't keep doing this! watching alone, having to sustain interest on my own, ignoring the parts of the division that have things going on because its dudes ive never seen on 205 and have no interest in and because its a lot of miserable shitheels and predators that dubya considers relevant for reasons i will never understand (their loyalties have always been clear but given how little anyone cares about like, devlin, who has never done anything in dubya at all even if you ignore That, its like what tradeoff could possibly be worth this unless you want to just signal that you will protect abusers which EVERYONE KNOWS ALREADY), watching and desperately finding scraps of character development in reruns of the same three match configurations over and over and over again involving more dudes that you don't really care about even after all this time because they joined post-plot-or-character and its all with no build, no leadup, no EXCITEMENT, while everyone has already kind of moved on from it for reasons that seem better and better all the time. i don't want to let go of it or stop hoping because i WANT to see if anything happens, i care about ariya and tony's weird fuckin story arcs that much if anything and honestly i think letting go of it at this exact point in time is admitting a loss that i could not withstand at the present moment, but its so...i have to force myself to watch it at this point. and i know it all sounds sooooo pathetic because it is, but i'm just. im so tired!!!!!!!! im so fucking tired of it all

- OHHH SAMIR'S SAVE INTO THE NECKBREAKER OWNS

- ITS FUCKIN SUNIL TIME BABEY!!!!!!!!!! SUNIL SINGH EPIC MOMENTS COMPILATION!!!! GOLD STANDARD DOESNT STAND A CHANCE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- ariya tagging tony in and just kind of collapsing and rolling through the ropes to have a little lie-down on the apron. sunil singh unstoppable, undefeatable, cannot be survived

- ARIYA KNOCKED HIMSELF OUT ON THE POST. ARIYA

- TONY TWO KNEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- TONY GET CLEAN PIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARIYA WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- oh my guy ariya's not lookin too good lol

- he’s fine <3 (he IS okay if you are worried)

- oh now lorcan cares about the cruiserweight division again huh! interesting ^_^

- legado del fantasma should be allowed to do that. i think its okay

- i don't really care about him besides going huh, fun aesthetic i guess, but i like grey's entrance music a LOT. maybe it's just the vocals making it distinguishable from whatever new team is doing the themes and making them all the same boring generic hinting-at-metal pop punk instrumental shit. oh well

- commentary making suuuuuuuch a big deal over grey doing things The Right Way to beat mansoor and IF I DO RECALL CORRECTLY tony as well and ignoring that he cheated to beat ariya. ariya gets cheated out of the recognition he's earned once again i see...pretty sure grey wasn't doing it The Right Way when he put his feet on the ropes against the BACKBONE, the BLOOD, the SPINE of the cruiserweight division but whatever............

- you know what i miss? high flying. that thing that 205 was originally about showcasing in a lot of ways? where did that go (to the corner to sit through timeout for being too good apparently) god i miss lhp i miss cedric i miss babyface moose i miss angel and humberto and AKIRA!!!!...i even miss buddy...wails and gnashes my teeth. i miss alicia and kenta and lio and the kanellises though i am glad they are out of dubya. some of these people aren't high flyers which was the original point whatever i still miss them. i need to rewatch 205 so i can try to have fun and not freak out over just how much of it i have to skip over

-  he is so handsome <///3

- ariya is both very VERY interested in august cheating to beat him and furious that he's not cheating to beat anyone else. why WOULD he do that? he didn't care about it when he had to beat ariya. ariya's not the ONLY heel in the division, and not the only person who would cheat to win. august can position himself as righteous--he's doing things HIS way, after all--and noble, but ariya knows better. august is losing by doing this, too! he's not WINNING! he cares more about his principles than about the win, which is CERTAINLY news to ariya. turnabout is fair play against him, apparently, because It's Daivari and anyone can do anything to him and get off scot-free. ariya watches grey refuse to cheat against anyone else, and he listens and he is commended as a hero for it, and it is driving him up the wall to watch. of course, ariya getting humiliated and treated like shit by people who then get lauded as clean babyfaces who continue thinking of him as a dirty cheater beneath them as they do the same things is uh. he’s encountered it before

- "YOU blew it! you let your pride get in the way! YOU blew it! don't ever forget that!" HM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- this is so fucking juicy. ariya ranks winning through any means above his pride! ariya would rather win dirty than lose clean. he's disgusted that grey won't use his brain to see that a win is better than a loss. ALSO! ariya going "you let your pride get in the way" is SO interesting! self righteousness as arrogance in his eyes feels very illuminating. NO he's not exactly PROUD of the shit he's done but it's the smart thing to do. he's survived, hasn't he? how many other cruiserweights could say that? did mustafa survive? did cedric? did akira? did their principles help them survive? did akira having his arm ripped off just to outlast ariya The Right Way do anything to help him in the long run? what good is doing things the right way when it is so so so fucking hard not to die in here already? on the other hand, ariya is also kind of proud at times! ariya's pride being wounded is what led to the huge character shift he went through to begin with. his pride got in the way of joining drew and tony on the same level and it got in the way of fixing things properly between him and tony until they had to grow back together, and when i say grow i mean it in the sense of...like...a tree. slow and deliberate and taking fucking forever. and it's still never been addressed out loud, really. when ariya says grey's pride got in the way of somethig, he has some idea of what he's talking about ugh. UGH!!!!!!!!! this is all so fascinating. ariya daivari top five characters of all time

[livingwithkdramas]

Produce X 101 Position Evaluation Thoughts (Post ep 6/7) VOCAL/RAP POSITION

I just had a lot of thoughts after watching episodes 6 and 7 so just gonna rant here.

Firstly i just want to put it out there this the first time i followed a produce x 101 series for so long mainly because my main picks since the start are still there! (I’m looking at park sun ho and nam do hyun)

PLEASE DON’T GET ANGRY BECAUSE THESE ARE PURELY MY OWN OPINIONS WARNING LONG LONG POST AHEAD

So im just gonna go thru each performance and share my thoughts on each trainee of course im naturally going to be sort of biased so ill just follow my feelings.

VOCAL POSITION

4th. TO MY YOUTH stage,

I would say this was my least anticipated stage and i feel this is generally not a stage I would rewatch very often in the future. I’m not saying its bad in fact I love how emotional they are since I know very well how hard these lyrics hit myself being a avid bol4 fan. I just didn’t really like the arrangement of the song, its inevitable but comparing it to the original this arrangement seemed to dull out their voices abit as in it felt too loud. I think it was the adlibs that really sounded too loud when i was listening, it was emotional yes, but did it highlight their emotion as well as it could? I don’t think so. But other than that i do think this was a well done stage and finally i can start to see why everyone loves kim min kyu.

JIN WOO - I love that he chose this song because this song IS for all the teens out there trying to find their way in life and the lyrics just match him so well too and yeah it was just a good song choice i think.

SE JIN - i just like the tone of his voice its really soft and fluffy and it worked to his advantage in this song

WOO SEOK - He’s up in the ranks for a reason and he maintains that through this performance 

BYUNG CHAN - I felt like he got outshined by woo seok, maybe a poor song choice on his part, felt like his voice would suit day by day more but it is what it is and i think he did well just out shined

MIN KYU - I see improvement from my previous impressions of him and i can see him trying to sing louder as what the vocal trainers told him, only time will tell if he improves more.

3RD DAY BY DAY STAGE

This stage was nice. It was good. But it just did not really pop or leave a super lasting impression. I liked the arrangement into a rainy day style song. I liked the concept that they had. I liked their powerful vocals and harmonies. But it just didn’t stand out for some reason like I really can’t explain it. Its like the I am stage in produce 48 it was good but it just didnt pop.

CHOI SU HWAN - I’ll first declare i am biased towards him so don’t take me seriously but like i found it quite unbelievable that he got 5th place in the live voting because he was hitting those notes darn powerfully and his harmonising with yu bin was really nice and good so yes i like him and i hope he makes it through

SONG YU BIN - Same as woo seok he continues to show why he’s in the top ranks and that there’s a reason why he already debuted really nothing suprising

NAM DONG HYUN - I like his work ethic, he accepts criticism and works hard to get what he wants the arrangement that he did was pretty and his voice matched well with the song but didn’t really have much highlights during the performance apart from the high note with yubin

MOON JUN HO - I have no idea he existed until now but i loved his facial expressions and his voice aint bad but because of the lack of screentime he gets I really can’t talk much about him (im sorry)

KWON TAE EUN - Same as jun ho definitely does not get enough screen time considering the effort they probably poured into the stage

2ND TWIT STAGE

These 5 guys killed it, be it from the arrangement to their voices to their stage presence and performance everything conveyed their teamwork. Also i loved the outfits and the mic stands yes.

YOON JUNG HWAN - This guy’s stage presence is no joke where has he been all along? He knows what he’s doing that’s for sure and he is such a good pick as the center for this song, just watch the performance the way he moves its killer.

LEE HYEOB - WHERE HAS THIS GUY BEEN ALL THIS TIME TOO? When Bae Yoon Jung went “who is he?” i was like exactly I know right? This was a good song choice on his part and now i want him to go through as well maybe i just have a soft spot for independent trainees.

LEE EUN SANG - Clearly he ranked first based on popularity for this live stage but its not to say that he didn’t serve those killer looks, I could see him being a pretty good vocal but for this stage he stood out with the looks

KANG SEOK HWA - Another independent trainee that i have a soft spot for too, didn’t have many lines but was stable and did his job and also meshed well with the rest

LEE MI DAM - Damn if it weren’t for the comments I wouldn’t even be sure/ remember who arranged the song Mnet certainly could have given him some spotlight because i absolutely loved this arrangement into this sort of rock pop song

1ST ME AFTER YOU STAGE

Now this is a stage i’ve been replaying since it aired. This is up there in all the produce performances i’ve watched. These guys are made for ballads with their voices. Also i just love me a ballad and i do feel like this is the avengers team for the vocal position.

KIM YO HAN - He knows how to sing with emotion and when he does it feels like his heart is out on his sleeve, he may not have the biggest range (vocal wise) but he sure can deliver the feels

CHA JUN HO - I love the friendship between him and yo han but he definitely has to thank yo han for helping him but once that shell broke his vocals definitely shine through

KIM HYUN BIN - After the amazing performance with No More Dream i thought he was going to choose a rap position but no he chose a vocal position and he stuns. Similar to yo han he doesn’t exactly have the largest range but he does know how to sing.

HAN SEUNG WOO - He is good. He deserved the first and the center position, i feel like i’ve been saying this alot but he picked the right song he knows how his voice works and i respect him for that. But i wish someone would change his hairstyle.

WEI ZI YUE - He is trying, I can really tell he’s trying his voice is very unique and I’m not quite sure if he knows how to use it yet because the first time I watched the performance it felt a bit jarring because the rest of his team mates have those sort of clear voices but i could see he was trying to enunciate properly so thumbs up for trying.

RAP POSITION

2ND BARCODE STAGE

Before i watched the episode, I had hopes for a good stage because i love this song but after watching it i just wanted them not to cry. I think it was more upsetting because they made mistakes one by one and you could see them visibly getting less and less confident even though they were doing well. I feel sad because I could see the stage that this could have been with their different rap tones blending together and a very emotional lyrics.

WON HYUK - He was sort of evil edited but like he made up for it in his stage, he kept his calm and he kept his composure and i felt like because of that the team managed to finish the song. He was the only one that didn’t make a mistake and in fact i felt like he rapped harder because he wanted to make up for his team mates mistakes and he was good as a rapper which is surprising after his energetic performance.

BAEK JIN - He was really good and stable at the start which is why it was worse to see him fall, i think his nerves and his team’s mistakes really got to him and it broke him. His facial expressions were really good too.

YURI - His rap voice is so low and so different from his team mates that it made him stood out but imo i think from the start he already didn’t feel particularly confident, and it showed on his face and ultimately caused him to get flustered and make mistakes as well

LEE WOO JIN - I’m not sure about this but it felt like he was a vocalist? As in he felt new to rapping and the whole team vibe certainly didn’t help the situation if that was so. Tbh i think he needs more practice but he was really the most nervous even from the start but i wish him all the best

1ST SAY IT YES OR NO STAGE

https://youtu.be/uM07p0-GA-M 

MY FAVORITE STAGE OUT OF ALL THE STAGES!! This was just so fun. They were literally having fun on the stage and this was a stage where I absoulutely loved the killing parts and everyone had one! also all their lyrics are both fun, sad and powerful at the same time, i just love this team and want all of them to go through!

NAM DO HYUN - My pick since the start and I continue to love what he brings to the table, he actually took Cheetah’s advice seriously and he killed the stage especially the part where he says I’ll be your Oppa ji I was like wow that was good and on beat and on point

JO SEUNG YEON - He trained Jaehun and Seong yeon pretty darn well and he took care of his own part too and even though his own part was short it was IMPACTFUL like that line “naega” is too damn good, he’s both main vocal and main rapper and not a joke

JUNG JAE HUN - He’s trying hard too, I can see it but i loved how he just basically acted out his part about being nervous and the lyrics in his part are so honest that they’re kind of sad especially the part where he says “the only thing i’ve shown is my temple heart”

KIM SEONG YEON - Not sure if he wrote his rap or Seung Yeon did but it was nice and simple and effective and he had his own killing part at the “ pick pick pick” line. Kinda loved him as a rapper wanna see more of him as both vocalist and rapper.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

[mandaloriangf]

hey i'm an anti and solo was actually really good - i wish it had come out in december bc we were all still so mad about tlj that no one wanted to see it. i went in fully expecting to hate watch and twenty minutes in i realized i was really enjoying myself! val dying was shitty but i actually really enjoyed qi'ra's plot (she was mostly just playing han, and killed vos at the end, claiming it was to protect han, but it was actually just to rise in the ranks of crimson dawn) 1/?

i definitely need to do a rewatch and watch qi'ra more closely, because the first time i was like "ugh romance between han and qi'ra" but while she might feel some nostalgia and lingering feelings towards him, it's made pretty clear she's just using him to get what she wants. she does save his life and lets him go, but she doesn't go with him and instead goes to train with maul. also enfys nest was AWESOME and donald glover (despite being a shitty person) stole every scene he was in 2/?

and while you could argue that lando was just made pan so he could flirt with l3, there's definitely flirting between han and lando (lando asks han to meet him in his room about the falcon, and gets annoyed and flies away when han doesn't show up, "i hate you" "i know" and two REALLY chemistry filled games of sabaac). alden did ok as han, he wasn't the best but they did a good job with lighting hiding that he wasn't harrison and he adopted more and more of han's mannerisms as the movie went on

but yeah! val dying was shitty and it wasn't a PERFECT movie but i definitely enjoyed myself and it was WAY better that tlj! i'd definitely reccommend you see it and i'd love to hear your thoughts on it!! i hope you like it because everyone i told that i'd seen it said they weren't going to see it but after i convinced them to see it they liked it too! there was really bad press surrounding it and it coming out so soon after tlj was a BIG mistake but it was a really fun entertaining movie! (4/4)

glad you enjoyed it! i’ll probably still never watch it though bc for one thing im really not a big han fan so i was never really on board with this movie in the first place (i was always a much bigger luke fan lol). i have a really short attention span and ive heard that this movie is pretty boring so we’ll see. i would still like to see enfys nest tho bc she’s too cute