#im going to cross that bridge when i get there
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I'm trying to make good on my "OC cosplay bingo" idea so heres my current progress on Rem
For Pupet i was testing the waters, on Sulu i wanted it to be close to his actual design, but on Rem I'm just like. vibin. groovin. i'm just following his design concept which is "Venetian nightmare jester with a dash of Nights thrown in"
#my cosplay#dont ask how im going to do his foundational character feature#which is his lack of eyes#im going to cross that bridge when i get there
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IT'S FINALLY FUCKING DONE. I'M FINALLY FREE
UNTIL FRAUD COMES OUT
Tumblr shrinks it down pretty bad so please. please. I am begging you. look at the full sized image and zoom in. This art piece made my friends worried for my mental health I need someone to witness the amount of detail and effort I put into this
also the original sketch under the cut bc I think comparing them is really funny

#my art#ultrakill#stained glass art#gabriel ultrakill#this is one of those art pieces that made me feel like i had a parasitic fungus controlling my brain#one of those art pieces that's gonna require recovery time. i feel like a demon was just expelled from my body#i need to go eat an apple or stand in a river for a little while#i already said it but please. please zoom in on the full sized version#i love this game so much#i just hope i don't hate this by the time its finished lmao#im probably gonna have to adjust the color balance a bit when fraud/treachery come out but i'll cross that bridge when i get to it
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clinging to this hyperfixation as tight as i fuckign can. tma save me. save me tma
#see on one hand true hyperfixations are great bc they kinda override. the everything else my brain does#(like i could feel myself getting into one of my Moods last week but it was like. distant? like just completely drowned out by the hyperfix#which is great dont get me wrong. makes my life a hell of a lot easier.#but also man its weird looking down at the huge chasm ive somehow ended up wandering over and going. huh. there is#a very very thin rope holding me up right now)#but also. it is very much making some of my problems worse (mostly uni work. i am like a week behind in every unit right now because i got#out of the rhythm i somehow managed to claw myself into which . isnt fun#tbf part of that is also because i got my wisdom teeth out and that fucked me up but. mannn)#sigh. idk. at least im having fun#and the serotonin dulls the fear of being obnoxious as shit about it#brains are fucking weird man#me.txt#idk what ill do when it ends buttt we will cross that bridge when we get to ti#unstoppable force (sad abt running out of episodes) vs immovable object (i Need To Know Everything)#in this and many other ways i am just like jon tm[dragged off stage]
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#dressrosa#ch701#first chapter being queued in 2025 babey#some work life updates ig... i have started officially learning both the pasta bar and the sushi bar#truly becoming more and more like sanji every day /j#but im sooooooo ready to be done with this job#i enjoy working in restaurants enough and it'll always be smth i can fall back on but#i'd much rather be in museums and education type fields...#ive got a seasonal work site bookmarked so i'll check that around july and august#and see if i can find anything. there are so many interesting summer jobs listed righ tnow#like if i wasnt attached to my current summer job or wanted to try smth new i could just#move to maryland and learn how to sail historic sailing vessels for 4 months#or go to alaska and do day boat tours/cruises#which i just might someday idk they both sound really interesting and right up my alley#and thats kinda what i love about seasonal work... able to travel a lot and get paid to do it#and you can find jobs that provide housing so you dont even have to worry about that#the downside is that my legal address is still my parents place and none of these places provide insurance#so once i turn 26 next year i'm sol there. i'll cross that bridge when i get there ig
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I have those morrowind/skyrim phylogenies I was working on all drawn out, but I want to do a write up explaining my decisions and my ecological headcanons for each species (and make a food web) for when I post them
I'm being way too wordy (I have two pages written on trolls alone) but whatever. I'm doing this more for my own fun than anything
#the morrowind creatures that dont fit neatly into any real animals categories are called collectively 'morrowind freaks' in my documents#mine#im a little bit worried im gonna go over the tumblr word limit and i wont know what to do about that but we'll cross that bridge when we#get there
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Scripting struggles
I'm changing my magical girl outfit and I have 5 I like and I cant pick one... they don't even match the magic I gave myself anyways idk why I'm like this...
Anyways I'm just taking them all 🤷🏾♀️ when I wear them in my DR I'll decide which ones I want to keep.
On that note I need to pick a wand/weapon too. The struggle starts again.
#shifting antis dni#I can probably guess which ones I'll get rid of cuz one of them have huge/long sleeves.#Imagining me fighting a witch or something and my sleeve snags on something and I die instantly GHAIF#I didnt script safety because I wanted stakes. But now Im really scared to shift lmao#<- I'll probably just script I cant die but can get injured#or that I have safety and cant die but I don't know that#And also maybe scripting that if i die I just go to my better cr#since I wanna make that my new cr and I dont want to come back here after death#idk yet though I'll just cross that bridge when I get there#shiftblr#dr scripting#scripted whole ass magical girl lore cant decide on an outfit. Dont even got a wand oh my priorities are. sigh.#they're something alright. not a good something but something nonetheless#anyways. back to pinterest happy shifting !#kitty.shifter
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no sims for a while bc the heat, I hope everyone stays cool and hydrated and don't forget your daily clicks! ♡
#moreover my laptop fans are doing much worse so idk how itll be even when the heat wave ends#we'll cross that bridge when we get there ig#lil life upd: that lifestyle change is still going strong its now my new normal! its fun im rly enjoying it and adding new things slowly#not getting into any details but mentally and physically im doing much better than i probably ever have!!
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#I wanted to make Sonic trans in the sonilver fanfic#because I love that interpretation of him that I see often. i think its nice#but Im going way out of my expertise if I do that because like#I think he/him pussy is what Sonic deserves#but also despite having a vagina ive never written vaginal sex befofe#and that seems like a hurdle I dont wanna try and get through when this project is supposed to be lighthearted and fun#but then also I thought 'well maybe he can have had bottom surgery too so I can just write into my comfort zone'#but that also feels like another can of worms im not too familiar with at the same time#idk I feel like im thinking too hard on the technicalities#but also I dont know a whole lot and im kinda afraid to ask no matter which direction I decide to go with him#so idk I might just give up and make cis Sonic as usual#but i'll cross that bridge when I come to it I guess....?#the story is nowhere near them having sexy anytime soo
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Signed myself up for the motorcycle class and I’m so fucking hyped. It lets you skip over the driving test at the dmv and just take the written so let’s fucking go
#I got like 2 weeks until the class but I’m already starting all the class work since they’ve got a go at your own pace online version of the#actual class work rather than a real class and then a couple of days of riding practice#the reading is a little confusing just since I really learn by doing things and for something like driving it’s very wordy but I’ve ridden#dirt bikes before so I don’t think I’ll have that much of a problem#so fucking hyped I’ve wanted a motorcycle for so so long I gotta ask my dad to help me look for one now bc I sure as hell don’t know what im#looking for and his bike is a big ass street glider so it’s way too big for me#thinking of getting a dual sport bc I like the way they look and I’m gonna wanna ride it up to my grandparents house out in the country#figuring out going to get the license after the class is gonna fucking blow bc they’ve got me on a normal human being schedule rather than#my fucked up 4 am start which means I’m at work when the dmv is open but cross that bridge when I get there#arkhamrambles#Arkham rambles
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#cw// ed#the duality of ed brain is being so fucking scared of getting tubed and knowing i would also feel validated if it came to that#and will likely mean im there longer#im so nervous about going ip and what the environment will be like in regards to triggers and how acute the other patients will be#i do not want to have my usual fucking around period bc i want to be in and out#but idk if i can hold this mentality if im around a bunch of tubed ppl that arent engaging#they only tube in ip from what ive read and i wont have a way to procrastinate having one bc there wouldnt be any step up hoops to jump thu#would it be kinda nice to have nutrition shot up my nose and to not have a choice in jt?? well yes.#but that wont be very helpful long term#i guess ill just have to cross that bridge when i get to it#im so scared of branching outside of what ive been doing w my intake i just!!!!!#cw// ng tube
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been cleaning my dorm for like 4 hours and it somehow does not feel like it has amounted to anything
#i have completed tasks things are better!! where the fuck is my dopamine you bitch#i couldn't deal w a lot of stuff in the way i would normally want to bc im trying to unfuck a LOT of things here#namely the cat piss closet. i have since washed basically everything in there bc they smell like piss#by virtue of sharing air with the piss for possibly weeks (im not bitter im not bitter) but ofc i can't put them#back in the closet bc it still smells like cat piss despite my best efforts#i am. very underequipped for this btw#anyway none of the major things i WANTED to be better are better despite effort (i.e. i wanted to stop living out of my suitcase#but i still can't do that bc the closet is still fucked up. so the scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing the floor and washing clothes#didn't lead to the tangible reward of not kicking my fucking suitcase every morning#and rascal Does Not Like It when im up and moving so a hazard of doing any chores is getting attacked#and oh boy did he#ugh i wanted to clear my weekend i had ASSIGNMENTS. I STILL HAVE ASSIGNMENTS#but thats not super appealing bc again im tired and i feel like dookie doodoo ass#but i don't want to have shit to do over the weekend bc i know my work is probably gonna be affected by my mental health#which is definitely gonna be affected by The Event. i wanna get my shit done before tomorrow afternoon but like. guh#whatever it's fine we roll nonetheless. i could probably get away with skipping another class or two over this anyway#only good thing about this#would be nice to go home and wash my face. shower. etc#anyway. if nobody got me i know kaiji fa.nart as my keyboard background got me 🤝#(chanting) no matter what kind of bad day im having kaiji's having a worse one no matter what kind of day im having kaiji's having a worse#horribly embarrassing moment where a friendly stranger in class saw like 4 kaijis in the margins and was like whos that :3#no it's not a bad thing i was just caught off guard and my drawing's rusty as fuck and whatever. bleh#im trying figure out his design bc im in trauma-bonded love aith him or whatever and#but my ass will NOT look up a reference. in class. and i haven't been drawing out of class bc ive been doing work for class. c'est la vie#wait i never closed that parenthesis. here:)#ech then again maybe i'll want the distraction of work. crossing that bridge when i get to it#after all i can just work ahead if that's the case yk#to explain the closet my roommate stayed in the dorm over winter break and i didn't and at some point in there#roomie's cat pissed on a fallen skirt like crazy. and then that piss was trapped in there for possibly weeks#and im not bitter not even a little that i didn't get an apology from my roommate. but hey don't ask and don't receive ig
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had the wonderful realization that we may be in the month of the stranger things season five teaser. guys. im so sorry to anybody who is around me when that happens im gonna LOSE my MIND
also its the year of season five itself.....im gonna be so insufferable you dont even KNOW
#stranger things#st5#AHHHHHHHHH#i think avoiding spoilers when season 5 comes out is going to be a feat of self control im not sure i have#but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it
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saw a tiktok that was like in japan they just put the phones and devices and stuff there in the apple store they dont connect them to anything to prevent theft because the rates of theft are so low and the caption on twitter was like can anyone explain why this is and why its not like this in america and one of the replies was because japan relies to shame to make people comply while america relies on guilt (i don't remember the exact words they used but that was the gist of it) like in japan if you do something wrong then you bring shame on your family and your parents and everyone but in america you are just supposed to feel guilty for your own crime and thats it kinda.
and now i saw a tweet that was from bollywood twitter and they were talking about how cute kareena and saif are the way her eyes light up when she sees him or talks about him and there was a video of him helping her up and she's smiling like she's the luckiest happiest person on the planet and just looked so in love and happy and it immediately hit me.
my mom always talks about how saif is a musljm guy who married a hindu (kareena) and its so wrong of him and what religion are their kids going to be and she should marry someone who's not a muslim and he should find a good muslim woman for himself and stuff. and like.
theyre so in love, they love each other, look at how fucking happy they are, she looks like she's gotten the world, he looks like he's gotten the world, and all you can talk about is how they cant be right for each other because of their families.
you do so much to please your family and to not bring shame to your family you forget that youre a person and youre alive and you can live for yourself. im not saying the american individualism is something that we should try to attain either, like there's definitely a middle ground somewhere, but by god does the shame thing fuck you up like ten times more.
#she also brings up how he's a muslim and that it's forbidden in islam to marry someone who doesn't belive in the same God#essentially someone who isnt of an abrahamic faith so we're allowed to marry christian and jewish people as well as muslims#but not like hindus or atheists or like anything else#and like yeah but we have one life#you dont control who you fall in love with#my thing is very#we'll cross that bridge when we get to it#so like while im alive im going to do alive things#and when im dead and im in the afterlife and everything#ill focus on that then#i belive in Allah and everything#i am a Muslims and i do do Muslim things#but i dont believe in sacrificing your entire life for an afterlife#i think we should do alive things like listen to music and fall in love and dance and go out and celebrate and and and#oh god there's so many typos in these tags
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At least if nobody responds to me I might get 3 days in February.
#martin job search#3 days of dressing work yayy#if I get a different. stable. job i will either take days off to do this OR go 'yeah sorry im not doing it actually'#we'll cross that bridge when we get to it
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crying in the work bathroom again I shouldve just booked the whole fucking day off in the first place it was stupid to think I could work after
#still on edge i cant fucking relax and i feel so pathetic and stupid and i want to go home Now#and it doesnt help that the work im doing is boring and menial and not even my own work its for another dept and im tired of feeling so#useless and incompetent and not belonging in any of these fucking teams and it doesnt even matter nothing i do fucking matters#its not even that big a fucking deal its a rly common fear and all this aftermath is a natural response to dealing with it#im just handling it badly. like i do everything in my fucking lifeeeee 👎#alright. setting a 10 min timer so my eyes dont look red anymore and then ill go eat lunch#and i only have 2 more hours of work anyway and i can put headphones on while im typing this shit in the spreadsheet#and i can cry properly when i get home. god this is making me feel like a fucking high schooler all over again i havent had to lock myself#in a bathroom stall to cry in a long time#.diaries#just a shitty dayyyy tomorrow will also suck and so will friday and the weekend bc ill probably have to cancel plans and stay home#but bc im having a difficult time n in a vulnerable state of mind ik im at risk of triggering my rsd which would be. very bad#last time i got triggered it took me months to get past it. if anything im just worried bc idk if i can restrain myself from harming rn#and its not that big a deal if i do but its been a while man. and itd be nice to keep my 2025 clean streak i havent had to so far#well ill cross that bridge. thinking abt my slow cooker at home.... pasta sauce save me.......#.vent#anyway sorry just gotta get it out. cant even have lunch w my friend today bc hes too busy so as always im alone while in distress#the universe loves isolating and alienating me when im already struggling just another reminder im asking too much#okay okay okay i need to leave this fucking bathroom
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Not me not even realizing I got paid TWICE and just having to take like half an hour to absorb it
#and now doing some math to estimate how much id be paid if i worked x amount of hours each week#and seeing that even with taxes i. still get a VERY good chunk of money#like im trying to calculate how many hours ill be able to work alongside school + my internship and even just bare minimum#of 20 hours per week pays a decent amount all things considered#this DOES make me concerned for the daunting potential task of having to do *taxes* tho so#but. i will cross that bridge when i get to it. maybe find a state tax building or whatever to go to and be like 'help how do i do taxes'#bUT ANYWAYS#summer job is great + with an internship coming up soon#i should be able to comfortably save up enough money to get a new phone in september so im not reliant on my grandpa to pay for mine#(reason im getting a whole new phone + number is bc i do Not want to have to walk my grandpa through taking my number off the family plan#AND knowing the arguments that would arise w that. waiting til september so my job + internship + school are already in full swing#so i can easily change my number w the relevant people necessary)#AND save up for moving out. which i will hopefully do in december (im probably gonna start at least looking after getting a new phone#but december is the goal move-in month)#amber's shit you can ignore
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