#the downside is that my legal address is still my parents place and none of these places provide insurance

[every-sanji]

[adultprivilege]

I love my boyfriend to death (we’ve been together for 2 years and then some) but god do I hate his parents. They’re straight up unbelievable. Every time they throw a party for their friends or eat dinner it’s their son that they make clean the house from top to bottom. He looks after their animals, he’s expected to keep his room military spotless at all times, they barge into his room unannounced, they buy themselves nice things while their sons things are broken... 1/2

(they’ve been in use for over a decade) and refuse to replace them, they constantly make him feel not worth the money they spend on him, he’s legitimately yelled at for eating in his own home, they make him feel unloved and stupid constantly, and when he was 7 they forbid him from eating because he was “eating too much” - when they found rotten food under his bed they took his bed frame. None of this is considered child abuse, he just turned 16, and his parents are wealthy. What do I do? 2/2

You could try child protective services or the equivalent, although, I’m from the U.S. so I can only speak to the U.S, and tell you that child protective services mostly only exists to make rich parents feel good about themselves, but it depends on the state, I’d try contacting a local youth-centric non-profit to be sure. Honestly, though, it would be better to start planning an escape plan, I.E. move out at 18. If he’s lucky, despite them being assholes, they’re the type of parents to pay to send their kid out of state for college, and he’s the type of person to “be lucky enough” to get internships in said neighboorhood of out of state college, or “just really want to graduate early” at said out of state college, and just never leave, and “just so happen” to get a job after graduation. Worst case, he’ll be enslaved by capitalism instead of his parents. That’s why a plan is really important. No parental support means paying for your own transport, food, clothing, and shelter, which is nearly untenable given the wonders of age inflation. At 16, he can likely legally get a job, but he would have to be discreet about it, and open his own savings account (which you can’t at 16 in some states.)

Things that he’ll have to go about stealing or discreetly obtaining a new copy of include his social security card, his birth certificate, and if applicable, passports/drivers license. He would want to go about obtaining a drivers license, preferably discreetly, immediately, as well as a passport card, which is cheaper than a passport but still works as two forms of I.D. required to get a job Where you can help in this is that to get his own copies of his identity documents discreetly, he’ll need an address that isn’t his parents. You could also help him hide some of his belongings.

Once he has copies of his identity documents, he can not only open secret bank accounts (in some states) but could get a secret after-school job somewhere, and start accruing capital. He will want to spend as little of it as possible, and just start getting a pile. If he’s really paranoid, in most states, teenager’s money is technically the property of their parents, so he could spread his savings across multiple credit unions (the big banks probably won’t let you create a savings account young even if it’s legal in your state, and quite frankly, you don’t want to), or put it in assets that are harder to liquidate such as CDs, but that has the downside of being harder to liquidate. In terms of where that after-school job should be, he’ll likely be cut off from college savings, so it needs to be a sustainable job, i.e. a unionized place of employment that pays the living wage and has good benefits for full-time employees. If he can’t get employment in such a place, his priority should be building employable skills, for example, learning to code and building a portfolio of work on GitHub, and working gigs on Craigslist that build his skills. If you have a choice, being paid poverty wages learning nothing is worse than not being paid at all, because if you aren’t being paid at all, at least you have time to increase your wages. He’ll also want to build skills of independence, I recommend marathoning How To Adult on youtube. Once he has a pile of cash and the skills, he’ll need to find and independently vet roommates, and then move out. The pile of cash should be 3-6 months of living expenses, and he should also have a job that can pay for the rest of his living expenses without running a deficit. Dave Ramsey is kind of conservative and gross but knows how capitalism works, and know how to avoid its pits. Also, libraries are great.

One thing you’ll need to support him through is the psychological effects of their abuse. Abuse survivors when they don’t have support, tend to get support from unhealthy methods. Another place where you can be a good ally is tracking down non-profit therapy, like your local equivalent of Face2Face.

Busses. busses are really good, he should probably still get a drivers license b/c employers, but busses are really cheap, learn them, live them, love them. Free Geek is great for cheap electronics, Goodwill Outlet is sketch, but has cheap prices on pretty much everything else. Meetup and Eventbrite are good for networking, and cheap entertainment.

IDK, anything else fam?

-ademainalors