#im going thru something ok
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this should've stayed in the drafts but alas
#i have one joke and one joke only i'm afraid#i need to do this with all of my faves i'm afraid#pls don't percieve me or something#jannik sinner#I SAID IM AFRAID IN THE TAGS TWICE PLEASEEEEEE ok going thru it
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Переплелись мои корни в тесной братской могиле Скажу им: "Закончились войны", Cкажу им: "Вы победили"
I've found a new song (шиповник - 'dog rose') and, naturally, it made me think. a lot.
The whole song is something that fits botw Link specifically so well, but this piece in particular was inspired by the following bit of lyrics:
My roots are intertwined in a cramped mass grave
I will tell them: "The wars are over",
I will tell them: "You have won"
(in the original text, 'mass grave' is more accurately translated as 'brotherly grave')
When it's all over, what does it mean to be part of a legend? What did it mean for those who came before you?
Link barely knows them, his time is so far removed from theirs, but his roots are intertwined in that brotherly grave regardless.
They are the closest of strangers, and no one's brought flowers to their graves for a while. Might as well.
(additional bits + closeup + song link under the cut)
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i have a book i got ages ago about flower meanings. I know it's all relative n they change from culture to culture etc but. One of the meanings for a dog rose is "prematurity"...as in, something happening too early. before its time
There is also a custom here that if you bring flowers to a grave, it has to be an even number, because an uneven number is for the living.
there are four in the bouquet, and three in Link's hair. I did put four flowers in that bouquet on purpose, but the uneven number in his hair was a beautiful beautiful accident
partial translation of the song (if u want a full one feel free to send an ask or something):
[...]
In underground bunkers
Among the wreckage of weapons
Soldiers of perished armies
Wander with a bullet through the chest
My roots are intertwined in a cramped mass grave
I will tell them: "The wars are over",
I will tell them: "You have won"
My prickly skin is a sad memory
I know more about death than you can imagine
In reinforced concrete crypts, slugs live on mossy walls
But I want to see the sky, I wake up to life
youtube
and also this. i massively ran out of steam so obvs its not the whole chain but yeah 👍
#kunst huli#whew. ok. here we go#tloz#legend of zelda#breath of the wild#tears of the kingdom#botw#totk#botw link#totk link#sksw link#tp link#oot link#ww link#mc link#alttp link#hero of men#i think. thats all#my god#yes i gave tp link a mustache even in this vague ghost form. im coping#its just something about. like. the stubborn perseverance. the solidarity. etc. wanting to comfort people you dont know at all#but you understand them. youve lived thru the same thing.#and while its not over n wont be over#its over for the moment#and like the most tragic(?) part of it all is that i genuinely think that. even if they all knew whats gona happen to them.#theyd do it all anyway#yeah there are a lot of circumstances that force them into the role of the hero#but like. even if the circumstances were different. theyd do it anyway! !! !#im normalll im being so normal
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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
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#i am highkey full of fear but i didnt wanna scare you guys so. we stay sily hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha im so scared#long story short my dad lives in florida. on the west coast. thats all i have to say#ok wow as im making this post my mom calls and says she's going back home too. ok ok ok ok ok#on one hand im so relieved theyll have each other but im also even more scared for both of them#like they stayed thru ian last year which was a FIVE and there was just damage to the house outside#i feel like ive been crying since last night. the moment she told me she was going back to florida i broke down. i just#i feel so selfish for being in hysterics when im not even in harms way but gghhh. gjgjghghghghghghhgghhghg#i need to go back to sleep but i cant stop thinkinnnnngggg i cant stop thinking ugh uuuugggghhhhh#im sorry i probably shouldnt even be posting this but i just had to vent i feel like im losing it#ffffffffffff ok gonna eat something and then sleep bye bye love y9u bye#i might... not post for a few days. but ill be around. bye love u bye#delete later#vent
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Ok so I'm either going insane or I lost a fuck ton of followers recently and I don't even know why
#my guess is either#A) I posted smth related to “fuck trump supporters gtfo” and they actually did (good)#B) tumblr's been deleting inactive blogs#or C) I said or reblogged smth controversial that I don't know about#I think I lost like 200 followers? because I swear I was close to 1300 (it was like 1292 last week I think?) now I'm at 1003#did I post anything bad recently? or some something from someone controversial#if I did please let me know because Im really confused#ik follower count doesn't really matter on tumblr but still#a bunch of the people who followed me did so during supernatural's hayday when I was in the fandom#but there's no way all those people decided to leave at once#im just confused#edit: ok after going thru my blog up until mid October Im gonna assume its due to me telling trump supporters to unfollow#because thats the only thing I can find#if nearly 200 really did unfollow me because of that theb I'm very disappointed. but in them. not for them unfollowing#hope they get everything they deserve for their choices
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"I will not forgive failure from you or your brother."
"Don't be scared, Dean."
the borgias 1.01, the poisoned chalice / kathryn harrison, the kiss / supernatural 2.01, in my time of dying
#credit to cor-ardens for the the kiss quote!!#spnedit#theborgiasedit#the borgias#dean winchester#john winchester#cesare borgia#mine#comparatives#im going thru something ok.....#txt
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ITS BEEN A FUCKING WEEK. PASS THE DETRITUS
#howling#had a lvl 1 trauma at abt 720#which sucks but we were managing fine#call er back at 750 as protocol to ask if theyve transfused and if theyll need more and to make sure they have a t&s ordered#secretary confirms that both units were transfused + they wont be needing more (lol) + a type and screen WAS drawn just not ordered yet#ok cool. all i have to do is wait for the specimen so i can crossmatch the units#im chilling in bloodbank doing bloodbank things#meanwhile. er calls the front desk (blood bank has a separate phone line. they specifically called the lab line instead)#lab assistant takes the call (like normal). theyre not sure what er said exactly but theyre planning to transfer the patient somewhere#and mentioned 'something like mpp???'#midnight tech was upfront and overheard. immediately asked if they meant MTP#lab assistant wasnt sure but said she had asked if er wanted to talk to blood bank (aka me) and they said no#both the assistant and the tech assumed that they DIDNT actually mean mtp because that would be fucking bonkers#if they casually mention it to a lab assistant and NOT FUCKING BLOOD BANK#and i didnt hear about this phone call until like maybe an hour or two later btw#anyways. yeah no they called an MTP#thats always fucking awful but they DID bring down the t&s partway thru#patient had no history and the only other specimens on file were drawn at the same time#so i order a confirmatory type to make things easier later on. it needs to be drawn by either the nursing team or by a lab assistant#screen is negative so at least we only need to do an immediate spin crossmatch on everything#we get all the units emergency issued + the platelets are ordered and issued normally after the t&s is done since it doesnt need a xmatch#er cancels the mtp. theyve transfused 6 out of the 8 units we sent them. two remaining units being sent to or#or is told directly that the mtp was canceled and that theyd need to call a new one if things escalate again#ok. things are calming down. its fine. i got all the xmatches done and theyre all compatible which is great#we get in a delivery from arc of platelets bringing us back up to 6 on the shelf (we need 5 on hand tomorrow morning for an open heart)#(at this point i find out about the phone call i mentioned earlier)#i get a call from or. my heart sinks immediately#or nurse says they need 2 rbcs and 2 platelets and theyre sending someone down RIGHT NOW to pick it up#we still hadnt gotten that confirmatory btw#im too stunned to say anything else so i just go ok. and hang up
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Quick PSA about this blog
The anon and I sorted it out over DMs so all is good now!
I'm not a huge Tetocest fan or anything, I just like it when someone draws really nice drawings of them and they happen to be Teto x Teto, so the chance of me drawing Teto x Teto is kinda low but not zero. Like I wrote in my chart, I mostly treat them as a cute pair of sisters, and that chart was a Miku x Teto chart because Negidrill is my OTP.
If I ever make Tetocest art, it's not with the assumption that they're sisters or related or seeing each other in a familial way. I'm grossed out by incest of any kind, and I'm also grossed out by pseudo-incest. Tetocest (selfcest) is literally Teto x herself/a different version of herself, not a relative or anything, so I wanted to make that clear.
I'll be tagging all my stuff that isn't quick doodles/text, so if you're anti-Tetocest or Teto x Teto or something, you can blacklist that tag or avoid me altogether because I don't hate it. The chance I'll draw actual Teto x Teto that isn't cute platonic love is like 5% though, 'cuz I like Miku x Teto more than anything and that's my main priority.
If anyone has beef with anything I like, I absolutely encourage you to unfollow me or avoid me because this is where I post art of MY interests and I don't want to be treated like a criminal in my own space.
My Miku x Teto is NOT proship (I always ship them around the same age) and I don't support proship or anything weird/immoral. I'm fine with criticism if I do something wrong but please don't be aggressive towards me because Mktt is extremely precious to me and I don't want to be chased away from my own space. You won't believe my ability to self-isolate lol but I'm not afraid of being alone, even if my love for Mktt will never die (especially not 'cuz of anyone).
For now I'll continue to draw/write Mktt/Voca/UTAUloid art at my own leisure with my own headcanons and interests, and I'm not doing it for attention. I'm doing it out of love for the characters.
Thanks for reading! ^^
#tldr; i'm not a diehard fan of tetocest but#i dont hate it either#mktt is still my otp#dont trash my interests pls since i'm in my own lane#that is all!#btw i might be low activity for a week or two cuz finishing something i procrastinated thru mktt#but after that i wanna go all in on mktt art!! i love ngdrll a lot#it makes me extremely happy so if people trash it or attack me then i'll get defensive/heated#im sharing stuff out of love and spreading the love but if i am only greeted with hate then#i wont disappear but u will not be given access to my stuff or me. like?? please.#looking forward to miku's bday! i havent figured out if i can do anything for her yet!#dont hate on anon btw it was a misunderstanding#they're anonymous anyway so u cant namedrop but i want to put this behind me now#mktt stop putting me thru rollercoaster emotions challenge (failed)#it's cuz i love them so much ok. sob 😭#u would get it too if you loved them as much as me#it's like being stabbed btw whenever anything bad happens lmao.#idk how that feels but all i know is the pain is felt and sharp and sad#it's not an addiction or an obsession. i just love them. end of.#hopefully forever#if u were me u'd get it but im not writing my backstory heh#i dont love them in a pathetic/unwilling way. it's all 100% choice and conscious#the really strong emotions however. those i do not choose lmfao.
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ok guys its not funny anymore when is d&p hard lauching im starting to getting anxious /hj
#this is mostly in jest bc idk if they will and im okay with that they do what they feel comfortable and their life is none of my business#but if they plan to. can they do it faster. had a moment rewatching BIG where it got to me... wow... theyve had something REALLY special#for 15 years huh. dan is finally living his truth and a life happier than before but during this journey he had phil at a such important#point of his life. they endured so much. and probably fucked up in between bc we humans arent perfect and thats ok we make mistakes even if#they might hurt the person we love but hey. they persevered and now are thriving even more than before#and i got so emotional like... dudes... i want to tell you both thru the means where is possible for me that im so proud and so happy#for you both and you work and your journey and for experiencing pure queer joy that all queer people deserve#BUT LIKE AS MUCH AS ALL OF IT IS OBVIOUS AND SERIOUSLY DONT EVEN NEED A VERBAL CONFIRMATION ITS CLEARLY AS ITS PRESENTED#IDK I FEEL LIKE THEY HARDLAUNCHING WOULD GIVE LIKE. A SENSE OF PERMISSION FOR ME.#LIKE HEY WERE CHOOSING OURSELVES TO TELL YOU THIS INFORMATION ABOUT OUR PRIVATE LIFE#AND NOW YOURE FREE TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE WANT TO HAVE A UPPERHAND ON THIS ON OUR PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP#SO ITS A BOUNDARY FOR US AND FOR YOU#AND ILL BE LIKE THANK YOU FOR THE PERMISSION. SO HAPPY FOR YOU MARRIAGE OF 15 YEARS#idk guys im weird i genuinely just like to treat celebrities like theyre just another human being i find while i go on about my day#it even took me a while to read phan rpf fics not bc i thought it was like OOOO PROBLEMATIQUE but bc i felt genuinely guilty even tho i#joined the phan bandwagon back in the day#i only let myself joke nowadays bc theyre more open and comfortable with it and such so like... i allowed myself for that and the jokes#but still. o|-< i get embarassed sometimes just bc theyve not publicaly disclosed what ARE they NOW (outside of all the soulmate metaphors)#its not a them problem tho its a me problem im too empathic for no reason#ANYWAYS SORRY FOR YAPPING ON THE TAGS CAN YOU TELL I MANAGED TO BUY MY ADHD MEDS AGAIN#j.txt
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uhh. uhhhhh
#realistically i knw that if i went thru with making animatics for all of these songs I think my hand would fall off BUT. i have brainrot#half of these songs are either here bc of the vibe or because i listened to the lyrics and read analyses and put 2 much effort than i had t#ALSO LISTEN. LISTEN BODYBAG IS EXACTLY EVERYTHING I IMAGINE WHENEVER I THINK OF WUKONG AND MACAQUES RELATIONSHIP OK#two birds and baby hotline is also kind of self explanatory. although most of the jack stauber songs are mostly for vibe#bitter water is a very specific flavor of pining / unhealthy outlook. kind of has like an insatiable vibe to it but idk how to name it#i want soap to be a healing song but maybe im just being optimistic. im here for the vibes although i feel like if swk and macaque were#actually to make up i think they would go into it kicking and screaming. and im frustrated because i cant find a song to match that#except maybe bodybag which AGAIN. THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID THATS HOW THEYRE GONNA HEALL FLYING BARK PLS#what if it doesnt end well also feels like a doomed narrative to me. like if you think about it from how their relationship might have st#started (and im probably taking from how everyone romanticizes their relationship as something really innocent or sweet at the start which#i am also not immune to that). but knowing them it is also a very good possibility thats not the case at all. what it is i dont know#primadonna also strikes me as a swk song but like msotly because he serves cunt. on that note I like to imagine rose colored boy as swk to#MK.BECAUSEEE i love how MK brings out the best in people AND AND AND!! 5000 year old immortal who has seen some shit come on people 'and i#have taken my glasses off' COME ON LOOK ATIT. you could also argue that could be macaque to MK and it would make sense#Spotify#Lego Monkie kid#lmk#yapping#playlist#monkie kid
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my transition into a Beatles fan is soooo slow it’s not even funny
#like im taking my sweet time#might go thru the discography but I have a daunting fear of listening to new music#and y’all their erm I don’t wanna use lore bcuz yk i don’t wanna treat some truly sad and real events as fiction#but girl just know I have too many docs and books in the line ups#for both the kennedys AND the beatles#houghhhh#im a tad stressed but it’s okay#also the only songs I listened to were something and sff anddd they were good#I didn’t rlly get sff at first but I gave it a second listen and realized im stupid#umm im gonna have to listen to something again too but first listen it was like …ok#ALSO what I DIDNT know is that they made HELP and I was like gagged bcuz that used to be 4-5 yr old me’s fave song lowkey#hmhmmhmh#sm i dont know#im kinda scared#need a guide but I also don’t it’s fun that way#(im lying out my ass)#💬 beca.txt
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rinne and aira went to the puffy bunny live together send post
#cryn rambles#airaposting#rinneposting#sorry i wont shut up about rinne tonight im rotating him in my mind right now so fast#rinne aira number 1 hiiro fans#also they r both idol lovers in general. do u feel me#aira going off about something idol related and halfway thru he realizes hes talking to RINNE so he stops and yells at him#and rinne is like nono keep goin im listening. and asks him a question about the thing he was talking about so he keeps talking#SORRY theyre important to me. ok#enstars
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.
#still crazy to me that i live in a world where i can just ??? message him whenever i want n he replies ???#we've come such a long way its insane#like this time last year we hadnt even messaged unless it was thru like. the class dc server JDJDJDJDJDJ#actually like a year ago yesterday he blew my fuckin mind bc i was walkin from the parking lot to class n he was just standing there#waiting for me ???????? it blew my fuckin mind bc at that point id given up on him right. i was like ok no way this guys into me but JDJDJDJ#i was super early for the test n he said he had to go put something away in his car n he happened to see me n we talked all the way to#the exam and all b4 JDJDJSSJNSNS#our relationship is so weird. like just so weird#i feel like we gravitate toward each other its..... idek JDNNDDNNDNZ#this has never happened to me b4. like usually i talk to the guy n its like o .... actually ur not what i imagined djdjsjsjs#but this guy#... so annoying bc he gets better every time n we've known each other for over a year now#idk i just.... ive talked about it b4 but our similarities are insane. and like the way we kept bumping into each other ????#idk its so weird JDJDZJJZJZJS#i think its mutual i really do. i think its just gonna take awhile to make a move. idk if its gonna be me or him but...#yeah im not really worried anymore#personal
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also i really did not anticipatw the way my boredom would manifest on the road trip. so sorry to everyone who gave me music suggestions, they were all good but it was hard to not go insane with songs that i dont recognize and couldnt sing along to. i’ll have to check most of them our when i can actually sit down with them and focus. so ironically i actually had to turn to story driven media. i listened to a few musicals and then by the halfway point of my return back i actually started to listen to my very first ever podcast and yknow what it fucking worked. shoulda been podcasting the whole way
#malevolent. im obsessed. right up my fucking alley bro#i got five episodes in but im gonna have to relisten to the fifth one cuz rhat was when i was in the stupid long island traffic#And i think i missed a segment like halfway thru bc the rest of the episode i was just like wait huh what huh#which yknow. is normally why i avoid audio only media#but when i have literally NOTHING visually stimulating and its otherwise open road then it actually works great#listening to music in that situation its like. ok. cool music. im still staring at absolute nothing of interest for hours on end#and especially music thats new to me its likw ok i cant even sing along .#but something with a story has the audio and in the case of a musical i can also sing along#AND it. Has a story so its like actually mentally stimulating#but then i ran our of musicals ans tried to goback to normal music and i listened to like two songs#before i was like. i still have 4-6 more hours and i’m GOING to go fucking insane#so i turned to podcast . for the first time evar#brot posts
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just highlighting the important bits. can we read ladies and gentlemen and etc
#i love it when people dont read it seems to be like the main yearly thing my blog goes thru. i say something and it either gets misintepret#or just not read at all. and i gotta like go underline it for yall again. like ok babies lets try this again huh#seph.txt#put caleb and vin for dl thats the extent of how sharing is caring im gonna get
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its so so so exciting to have our cookbooks (so many)(small library) back out again btw!!!
#like. ahhh!!! i don't have to search thru pages of recipes online anymore!! i can discover something interesting by accident and make it!!!#found my favorite incredible brick of a french cookbook + my favorite indian one + pei mei's which is where i got the baozi recipe AND#the most useful candy book ever AND my favorite cookie book of all time. this was literally like xmas im such a guy who loves#leafing through cookbooks. yayyy.#ok ok. going to. sleep now & then do hw... catkiss.gif#txt
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