#im glad you stayed with us
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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classmate told me she’s so glad that i stayed and i fr might just piss my eyes 😭😭
#context: i was so close to quitting nursing in my third year bc i was so stressed and hated it#i spoke with the dean to discuss it back then and today she is our prof for our leadership class#and bless the dean’s heart she fr embarrassed me in front of both class A and B being like#oh mr lingatong im so glad you stayed with us#you made it to fourth year and you were so sad and lonely before and look at you now#‘he was considering quitting last year’ NO NOW EVERYONE KNOWSSSSSS#and its like 😭😭😭😭😭 dude im going to CRY#EVERYONE STARTED APPLAUDING TOO LIKE SAVE ME SAVE MEEE#and my classmate next to me is one of my bandmates and shes like#im glad you stayed with us#🥹🥹🥹 shes so?? sweet??? and then she just gave me stickers for my water bottle bc they said it matched#i dont really understand how people can be so kind when i feel like ive done nothing in return#bc like!! ik friendships shouldnt feel transactional but i feel like i dont say or do enough to contribute or mean anything to people!!!!!!!#she used to be scared bc of our language barrier but im p sure now im just some creature sitting next to her whicj honestly#best thing ever shes like ‘oh yeah you’re pretty neat’#i cringe being an american in the philippines but people are kind and loving and im grateful#i hopw to give back to the world that loves#caw.txt
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konig reminisces with horangi over his short-lived stint as an underground boxer in his teenage years...
more on patreon (plus the nsfw follow-up comic)
bonus:
#so its my headcanon that konig used to fight in a pretty shady underground boxing ring as a teenager#it was his first real opportunity to let some of his feral energy and strength out#he was only there for a year or two before the ring unfairly ousted him#after all its not good for business for one person to stay king for too long#at that point you start hedging your bets#konig got left with nothing by the end of it and he joined up shortly after#and his 'king of the ring' moniker ended up inspiring his operator name later in his life#also yes hello hi horangi#ill be exploring these two together more in the future <3#im glad to be back with my pathetic cat man#korangi#horangi#konig#cod mw2#giragi art
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what draws you back to your country what draws you back to your land when i was a kid i told myself if i ever left iran i'd never go back 2 years into living in the UK i started looking at news on iran again 10 years in and i visited it for the first time again and today i heard an iranian mother talk in farsi to her child on the train to london the way my mother used to and i wanted to cry i wanted to ask her whether they're still cutting the mountaintops whether the lakes are still drying today i showed the person i was with pictures of waterfalls and palaces and forests and snow-white north something odd pulls me back with increasing force i can't ignore it ever again
#i just dont know how else to tell you everything !!! santoor from a different room the large family gathering the black tea with saffron#drank out of delicate glass and gold vessels cold marble on hot nights big stars big rivers big mountains#visible from busy tehran roads the ease of conversation tension eased by sarcasm tall tall cliffsides you drive by#rushing to put on headscarves before the head teacher comes in a rave by the base of damavand massive sun pastel purple skies#disjunct architecture trucks on road sides with fresh fruits pomegranates watermelons oranges everywhere#the smell of golpar on tangerines beautiful girls in tehran holding hands bautiful boys in kermanshah speaking kurdish the janky#cars on the verge of breakdown held together by love caspian sea lighting up in spring staying up into the morning on noruz#my friends uncle sang and played setar his son played the violin a little fear a lot of love remnants of something#grand carved into the cliffside everything feels bigger taller the landscape swallows you it smells like#illegally imported wine and orange blossoms and auntie's tahchin soaking your eyes in warm tea when youre sick#tomatoes and salt concrete and stone something mandmade and something raw new flag old resilience#the anger getting to us bruised eyes big grin all i know is the north i feel sorry my mother asks if id be okay#if they got a place in tajikistan we love each other enough dont we? when we look in the mirror we see each other. theres a love letter#across the border and it says I MISS YOU IM GLAD YOURE DOING BETTER itll never be the same im not okay with it at all there are no more#stars i miss jumping over big fires i miss our fireworks im sorry we cant be happy anymore everyone#leaves the mint and rosewater and sunlight for a reason.#it's not pride it's just generational regret
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Previous | Next | Green!!!
#captainx2#rise of the tmnt#save rise of the tmnt#Sorry gang this took me a while#OHHH A GREEN THING!!#no way their the GREEN NINJA!!!#THAT MUST BE IT GUYS!!#Donnie yapped so much I considered using text#Well I did but didn't feel the same#so my messy handwriting is here to stay#ALSO THANK YOU EVERYONE ON THE SUPPORT OF MY SILLY AU!! IM SO GLAD PEOPLE LIKE IT AND ITS VERY MOTIVATING! LOVE YOU ALL!! <33
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come one come all camp paul is gonna traumatise us all!
the faces of men facing the reality of having to go through camp paul™ yet again boy does it never get any easier huh
2024-25 Media Day | 9.18.24 (x)(x)
#matthew tkachuk#nate schmidt#florida panthers#2425#preseason#thank you george for asking both matthew and nate this so we get the funniest possible answers out of this#“these first few days have been in our heads a bit” “exciting is an interesting word to use for it”#“is it exciting to do that practise™ well stay tuned!!!” (cue the looney tunes end theme)#im glad we got another funny media person im sure pairing him up with maffhew for media is gonna be fun#paul look what youve done! you gave them anxiety!!
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Hi tumblr,,,, I'm scared of you. But. We accidentally went mentally ill in the groupchat again.
#isat#I really really love people and their nuances.#people are really interesting to me and im glad this game and my friends give me a way to express that#ive probably written about my love for people a billion times#but#its just so interesting#isnt it?#we're so different and yet so so the same#and we find people with similar understadning#we dislike people for no reason#or maybe all the reason#and we love people the same way#some people stay with us#some people pass us by#but yet. you remember them. dont you#you remember that barista with the pretty hair and the friendly smile#you remember that friend you havent talked to for a while#exes#childhood friends#family#you remember them#and are remembered in return
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Draft folder my beloved, what would i do without you?? 🥺
Treat me ~ Tip me ~ More of me
#Treat me (amazon wishlist) ~ Tip (pypl) me (cshpp) ~ More of me (Free OF)#My brain is scrambled and not processing grief very well. So i am going to lean on my drafts until inspiration strikes.#Me and baby belle are gonna stay with my nan for a while to make sure she isn't alone#I'll be glad to be there for her and feeling useful#Anywhore. Im in desperate need of distractions bc my xbox still has not arrived. So ive been looking at pretty lingerie online.#Some delightful sets in mind for the future✨#Satans knitwear#Alt pinup#Pinup girl#I have probably posted a gif of part of this before. Or even this exact one. But its cute af so ur welcome#My gif to you#The baby yoda hoodie is always a look.#Fishnet tights#Pretty lingerie#Floral bodysuit#Strappy lingerie#bi girl#cheeky#wlw
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#i lasted less than 2 days without tumblr this is so sad#i logged out from one of my privs a few days ago and yesterday deleted twitter app from my phone#im just so bone tired of constant discoures like (shakes my 2020 self) HOW DID WE GET HERE#anyway my stance didn't change too much i hope she'll find some peace and better friends#not everything is forgotten and forgiven but im glad george acknowledged that she is hurt by what happened#and I'd rather leave on my own when im 100% not interested in their content anymore so yeah im staying#i dont want to be so invested in their lives anymore or at least not as much as i used to but I will watch some of their content#if you're not comfortable with that then you're free to unfollow or soft block me i wont hold it again you
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Decided to log into twitter (hell) and outside of everything going to shit as always i found this piece of shit as my banner
I dont even remember when i made this but i do remember that i did and i remember how i made it
I saw a picture on twitter w some kind of caption and decided that i could make it look like a banner
i tried to add the fire flaming text that i saw on some reposted to twitter tumblr posts where someome makes a grammatical error and someone corrects them in a form of flaming (sometimes animated) text (never change guys, gals and all of you magnificent pals lol) but at the time i didnt know the website that you all used so i tried to improvise and google
I remember half way thru the making of this text being so upset that it looked like shit but after taking a break for 20 minutes i said "fuck it, it is way funnier this way" and i kinda glad that back then i decided to "fuck it we ball" it
It looks disgusting and i love it
#i unironically glad i found it bc it still holds up to me#not in a sense that its still THAT funny to me (i believe i made it when i was like when i was maybe 17-ish) but it feels kinda#nostalgic#some might say that its not nostalgic it all like “lol#you're 21 how tf can this shit be nostalgic to you#you still havent experienced x y and z you're a still young adult who havent decided what your future is you dont get to feel nostalgic#about your past outside of movies you watched when you were a child lol“#and i kinda disagree#bc at that point of my life i only started to figure myself out (hell i only “recently” realised im nonbinary and multisexual)#and looking back at how i used to be#it definitely feels like ive made a lot of progress in self development and self improvement#and its kind of nostalgic for me to see my old abandoned twitter page (i should probably nuke it completely) and see that everything change#everyone learns#everyone becomes different#everything stays the same while also changing simultaneously#did i really got emotional over my old banner?#anyways whoever finds this post i kinda thank you for reading thru my schizophrenic post and i wish you a good day#juniper's tree branches#juniper stupider#ramblings#nonsense rumblings#will delete this cringe later when ill be embarrassed about it
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@soccerpunching you're genuinely one of the best people I've met here bc you like almost every media I like
Apropos fighting. Remember when Adora jumps on Catra at Prom. Just them rolling on the floor. I wanted to draw that but didn't get round to it. The scene had such an energy
#im so so glad you like those hah#but anyways catradora and feisaru are two v personal and important ships 2 me#would you believe me if I told you I've sorta felt like drawing them in suits again#a few weeks ago#both manspreading#the problem is my head is so full of ideas and i actually suck at drawing and am slow and so my brains fastness overwhelms me sometimes#oh also im sick AGAIN so efficiency goes put the window#i also have a song that i associate w the prom redraws in particular#if i do the manspreads ill bring it up#im a bit conflicted abt the prom redraws. i used to really like them#but theyre over a year old now and its showing#how my drawings looked back then doesn't really resonate w me but the dip stays iconic#BECAUSE#i didn't think about saru's n fei's bodies any different back then. but my brain has this thing#where it distorts my drawings and makes them look broader than they really are in my head? and#then i look at the drawings again after a month and it goes holy shit last time i looked you werent looking like stickmen#but im better than this now#my drawings cause me less eye cancer now#i wanna get that violet suit finally. have wanted it for years#also that one thing where saru gets manhandled. it originally had more blush#man im not rereading im going to sleep
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staring at some old posts like 'i have regrets'.
#venting in the tags below#its nothing about anyone specifically just as a general fandom view#of one specific fandom that we wont tag#just left that little buffer right there so if you dont want to read you dont have to. there is a lighter note at the end.#but that fandom just... sucks overall. dont get me wrong! we loved it as a kid#but its just... the same issues different characters. a divide amongst everyone.#and nothing can really be done about it because its just.. there.#you cant stop it.#no matter what: what you do is wrong.#weve tried in that fandom for years. literal years.#and its always been an outcasting feeling.#at first: we were too mature. then: too old. now: just plan old fucked and wanting to stay away from certain characters#'so you hate them?' no. they hurt and bring up bad memories.#'so youre not supportive?' i am supportive. its completely fine for me to say its not my cup of tea. because its not my cup of tea.#its... a shame really. but im glad that the bodys mom is able to see us smile again from a new place. much more accepting and comfortable.#its nice. it really is. i feel welcomed and like i belong around here.#i dont feel shamed for being sourced from the fandom im in#it feels.... nice. it feels like home. like this is where we were meant to be.#thank you. im glad we came back to tumblr. im glad that were still here. im glad that -despite everything- were still fighting the world#we may even have a better job opportunity than ever before! finally getting some sort of sleep at night. finally feel.. just safe overall.#safe on tumblr that is#i know we wont truly ever be safe. but one step at a time. one step at a time.#the fire fighter
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murder time trio come back from killing some guy (me) and dust just pulls out a rainbow cleaning duster and starts dusting himself off. horror questions him. he says it's self care
#killer recommended it#and then it becomes a normal thing for dust to dust all of them off after murder time#monster dust gets into horror's skull and then dust has to dig around in there with his feather duster#guys cmon he cant ALWAYS be dusty it probably feels weird#who wants to be perpetually covered in the dust of those you murdered like hello#duster sales in the utmv must be crazy high with how many murderers there are#there was dust on killer's skull and dust tried to be nice and use it on his skull. and then his DT got on the duster#killer's face then became a banned space for usage because that shit fucking ruined the feathers!!!!!#each of the mtt have customized dusters. killer uses pressurized gas (the type of stuff you use on keyboards to get rid of dust)#because he'd be fucked up like that and wouldnt care if its dangerous (is it?? idk). he points it to dust and horror like its a weapon#i already said dusts. horror would have one of those really fancy feather dusters because he's sensitive or something#also horror needs only the highest quality of duster for himself. dust and killer don't get to use his shit#guys why is it not called MAD time trio. if bad time trio was using the youre gonna have a bad time quote#and mad time is a direct alternation of it...... then why not mad time trio......????#because it's too dust focused??? OKAY HELLO THE GROUP IS LITERALLY NAMED AFTER HIM. MURDER. MUUUURRRDDDERRR TIME TRIO#get the fuck outta here mad time trio is cooler. i'll still call them murder time trio because its more unique#hahaha guys ignore the last two posts i didn't even have THAT bad of a day at school#triglycercule is just dramatic as fuck and going to school triggered something inside me or something#just the ever so slightest mental spiral but we stay🔝🔝🔝#im absolutely gonna delete those posts i can NAUGHT have people seeing me fall from grace like that#like smh i was just being dramatic ngl 🙄🙄 stfu triglycercule you didn't even need to post about it!!! you just want attention#this kind of mentality is what caused me to post that and then not post for a few days. i should probably stop#i need to stop typing out my mental dialogue of angel and devil on my shoulder i always end up insulting and apologising TO MYSELF?????#triglycercule's biggest hater is....... TRIGLYCERCULE!!!! thank you thank you i know i'm glad to be up here too#voted for all of the mtt in the sexyman polls. saw they all lost. i will not be voting at all anymore#i need to rant about this in a several post i am upset#tricule hc#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans
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#like in general#but also last weekend was literally like a skins episode what the fuck im still processing it#we went to see a football match#then spent over an hour getting back to our dorms on foot bc the trams were packed#we were JUST abt to reach the dorm building byt there were these 3 guys standing and they were like#'hiii girls look we reallyREALLY urgently need to get to the club but we re too drunk to call for a taxi wchi means you gotta walk us there#so we were like no fucking way obv we didnt know them AND THEN WENT WITH THEM ANYWAY#we stopped by this one place where young ppl usually meet up to drink bc our friend was partying there#drank her beer lool the boys convinced their friend to go with us qnd this girl turned out to be our mutual friend which is jdjeisbwjkw#so anyway on our way to teh club theres fierworks and ppl shouting celebrating the match we watched#we get to the club we get drinks we start dancing#THE GUY WHO I WENT OUT WITH ONCE AND WHOS OBSESS3D WITH ME BUT NOW PRETENDS I DONT EXIST IS IN THE VERY SAME CLUB AT THE SAME TIME#man#thinks get heated between me and one of these guys we just met#long story short we made out (s&m by rihanna in the background)#at like 3am we left the club and got back and i was glad to finally go to sleep BUt my friend just had to mention that she had whiskey#so we stayed up till 6am in front of our dorm building drinking and being stupid in general#ive got photos of me braiding one of the guys hair and laying on teh ground lol#so anyways#oh also one of the guys lost the fucking thingy ? they give you when youre leaving your stuff in the cloakroom or whatever#so while we were waiting for the cloakroom guy to return with his jacket he was like 'listen i lost the fucking thing#'the moment he returns with my jacket you grab it and we fucking run out of here you hear me?'#and we fucking did 💀#most importantly i got told im a good kisser that night 💯💯💯 but still all that kissing and touching did nothing for me like i said#felt bad for the guy bc he was ..... hmmmmm eager and he was fukcing trying ok so i was out there fake moaning so he doesnt feel bad lol💀
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Finally made more tie dye shirts for work (I've transitioned to wearing the free merch we get occasionally and plain colored tees as well, by now) and we tie dyed like 12? Shirts, some socks of moms, a couple undershirts, redyed my undershirt from last time, a shitty drawstring bag from a cheap tie dye kit, a hat, and a few of my white tees that have print on them. The last ones were bc we had so much fucking dye left and I was desperate to get it used up
All in all it's 26 or 27 items (socks included as a pair) I lost count after 15 if I'm being honest agdgdgdgdg
I'm really excited to see how my "I am Kenough" shirt comes out. I only had purple dye left at that point (still do) so I just went for it sgdgdggd it felt very ken.
Probably will only post the really good ones (and the ken shirt) but it was a lot of fun :D we tried a couple rainbow swirls and they look promising 👀 I'm excited
#we also had a little bird who looked like a tiny falcon crash into our garage and then stayed and watched us#we tossed him some birdseed and put a bowl of water close-ish to him but he just fluttered away at that#eventually he got up and flew into the tree so i think he was just resting up#idk I'm just glad he was okay bc i didnt wanna have to find a rehab place/risk bird flu and i didnt wanna touch it bc i know#you really shouldnt move injured birds w/o contacting a rehabber first who tells you what to do) and it being the weekend and past 5 y'know#marquilla#anyways im tired as hell man sggdgd
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do u want me 2 kill that guy @ ur bfs party 4 u. guy sounds like literally the worst an I will have no issues doing it 4 u
thank you anon. i would love nothing more 💗
#i love you anon 😞 this is so sweet#YESSSS PPL READ MY TAGS!!!#but for real he’s just a weird person in general; once i was not spending lunch with my boyfriend since we were fighting and he had lunch#with his friends but our mutual friend stayed with me because usually the three of us have lunch together#but since me and the bf were fighting he didn’t want me to be alone; so it was. nice and the following day i had lunch with my other friends#and he had lunch with my boyfriend and his friends (since my boyfriend still wasn’t super happy / willing to have lunch with me)#and the same guy who was being mean at the party asked our mutual friend if ‘the backshots with lyss were good’#IN FRONT OF MY BF ??!!#like what ?!!!#he’s just a gross person but it’s okay#his hair looks like#the brown scene hair from roblox and he’s one of those stereotypical guys you see online the#omg she looks like a deftones song…. i love cats >_<!!! oh i dropped my feminist literature…. sorry….#he just made me a bit upset but it’s okay now!#im glad you are so kind about this anon; it makes me feel a lot better about the whole situation :)#i would do the same for you ; given the situation were to ever come#same with any of my followers!!!! i will fight to the death for any of you#LOL OKY enough ranting but for realsies; YOU ARE SO SWEET ANON I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH MY LITTLE BAESAUCE 🥹💗#baesauce is one of my epic vocab words; mix of awesome sauce and bae.#i forgot my ask tag uh oh#FRICK#ask!#that was so simple how did i manage to forget that#also btw if any of you ARE those stereotypical deftones + feminist literature people i’m sorry. it was just the best way to describe it#i bet you are wonderful
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