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ohblackdiamond · 4 years

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liner notes/unused joke summaries for kiss fics (part iv)

Despite what my general dislike of the shift key and my tendency to mock all that I love might imply, I actually overthink everything I write to a great extent. I make no claims to these explanations being in any way enjoyable, but if you wanted to know what I was thinking while writing KISS fic… now you do. Part one can be found here. Part two is here. Part three is here.

little t&a --If Paul had boobs, they would be big and Gene would want to grab them.

>>Title from a Rolling Stones song of the same name; most of the chapter titles are from another Stones song, “The Spider and the Fly.” I started it during quarantine as a means to occupy myself and destress, and didn’t initially plan on posting it at all. Once I’d written five chapters without having posted it or mentioned it to anyone, I figured, well, I guess this might as well go somewhere, so I put it up. I had the hope that it’d give me something to strive for during the stress of lockdown, and I’d assumed that I wouldn’t ever have that much time to devote to a story again.

There were a couple of things that really inspired me. I’ve always enjoyed sexswaps as a bit of a guilty pleasure, but wanted to do a different take on them-- there’s this tendency for sexswaps to either be wacky hijinks or an excuse to write particularly brutal noncon. There’s also a tendency for the sexswapped character to almost automatically start adopting stereotypically feminine traits he didn’t have prior, with no real reason for it. I wanted to try and avoid all that as much as possible.

... There’s also another tendency for the sexswapped character never getting back to normal, and I wanted to avoid that, too. I mean, c’mon, KISS is supposed to start the Love Gun tour a month after the fic. Paul can’t exactly pull the trigger of a love taco. (Maybe gently brush it a bit...)

I had Paul already cursed for five days at the start of the fic because I thought it would make things easier and allow the plot to advance more quickly. I also felt like it would give him more autonomy-- prior to Gene showing up, he has tried (albeit in small ways) to get a handle on what’s happened to him, and while he’s hermited it up, he hasn’t given up. Autonomy in general was pretty important for me re: Paul. (Incidentally, probably one of my favorite things about this fic is that Paul’s made that poor twelve-year-old kid on his bike buy him sanitary napkins.)

I wanted to explore a couple of other things, too, mostly rock and roll’s (and KISS’ in particular) pretty heinous treatment of women. Gene and Paul argue in the eighties that groupies know the score from the beginning, and even postulates that those relationships are more “honest” than just taking a girl out to dinner. They’re not alone in this (and, of course, as married men, these days they try not to discuss those times at all); almost every band/artist from around that time period will give you the same answer. “The girls know what they’re doing.” I think many of them did know. I also think many of them came into those hotel rooms expecting a lot more than they ever received, and I think plenty of girls ended up at the very least disappointed by their encounters, if not humiliated or worse.

I don’t know if this was successful, but I also wanted to at least try to poke a few holes in celebrity/idol worship as well. Carol’s scathing comments to Paul-- “they [fans] think there’s something you’ve got that they can get at, but there’s not” pretty heavily exemplify behavior I’ve seen at conventions, fan meet-ups, etc. At the end of the day, well, there’s no point in putting them on much of a pedestal. I dunno. I’ve seen some weird crap in the name of fan worship, in and outside of RPS. Keith Richards talks about it in his book-- girls urinating on themselves out of sheer nerves/excitement just at seeing the band, etc., which, while disturbing, had to have given them a sense of being something beyond ordinary (and act accordingly, of course).

I don’t know. I like them a lot, but I can’t hero-worship these guys; they don’t live in the real world. They’re not, ultimately, relatable or accessible despite the billions of photos, the twitter posts, the meet and greets-- any more than they were 40-odd years ago. I think there can be a real danger in thinking they are. I wanted to show that, too, but again, I don’t know if it came across properly.

One of the aspects I really struggled with was getting a good handle on Paul’s innately slippery sense of identity without it overtaking the story entirely. Gene’s very stable identity was a good foil, and it helped that most of “t&a” is from his point of view, rather than Paul’s.

Another place I faltered with was Paul’s outing alone at CBGB. The first draft had the guy in the club slip quaaludes into his drink, but I really didn’t like that at all and felt it took too much control away from Paul/punished him for going out on his own. I thought it’d be more interesting if Paul deliberately took what he knew was a dangerous combination (alcohol + quaaludes) in the hopes that would make him feel better about sleeping with someone he didn’t care about.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, having him do that (and the way the scene with the guy at the club ends) also meant that I couldn’t have him hop right into bed with Gene that night, either, so that accounts for some of the delaying. I was also really wanting to make sure in general that when Gene and Paul finally did go all the way, there wasn’t any feeling of being coerced or pressured. Not that Gene would do either of those things, but I didn’t want him or Paul to be doing it out of any feeling of obligation or hurry; I wanted it to be as natural as possible, under the circumstances. And I wanted, again, Paul’s dubious sense of self and Gene’s ambiguous feelings about Paul(’s boobs) to come into play-- yes, Paul, now you, too, can take Gene on the amazing technicolor dreamdate you’ve been fantasizing about for the last seven years! Or, you know, not. Overall, there are some pacing issues and the story slows down considerably after Gene takes Paul home from CBGB, but I like to hope that most of the scenes add something.

There were a couple of secondary plotlines that got scrapped because I couldn’t get them to fit well enough with the narrative. One of them was Paul’s very troubled relationship with his sister, Julia. There’s a fair amount of references to her scattered throughout, and Paul brings her up on several occasions, generally without much provocation, and generally at mildly odd moments (at Central Park and immediately after getting drawn by Gene being the standouts). There was an initial draft of the chapter in which Ace calls Paul, where Julia’s the one calling Paul instead (after having gotten his number from their parents). I wanted to at least get the start of a reconciliation going between them. Ultimately I scrapped it because I couldn’t get it to flow with the main plot and never felt like I’d ever explored it thoroughly enough for it to be worth a detour.

The comparison between Paul and Carol is pretty blatantly obvious, even in the narrative. Paul and Gene both recognize it (Gene, initially, when he notes that Carol doesn’t seem to belong at 54 any more than Paul does), and it makes them highly uncomfortable. (Mary-Anne, Carol’s friend, also notices it-- “she [Paul] reminds me of Carol. Just pitiful.”) They’re both very shy, insecure people that have thrust themselves into a world they’re not naturally suited for (show business) in order to achieve their own ends. They’ve both put great stock in a single person who helped them (inadvertently or not) during a dark time, and are driven by those feelings, despite knowing that person is out of reach.

Physically, they’re intentionally mostly opposite (Carol’s short, with a slight build, lighter hair, blue eyes, vs. Paul being, well, Paul-- tall, fuller build, black hair, brown eyes). But narratively speaking, neither of them are described as beautiful; “cute” and “kind of pretty,” sure, but nothing past that (except when Gene says it towards the end). That was important, too, for a couple of reasons. One, I wanted to further the comparison between them; two, I wanted to at least try and dispel the idea that all groupies were glamorous; many of them were rather ordinary-looking.

Paul not being “playboy material as a girl” was very deliberate. I feel like a lot of sexswaps tend to make the guy in question end up a ridiculously hot babe, which didn’t quite jive with what I was going for (not that I wanted Paul to end up awful-looking, but...). ... He’s probably hotter than he thinks he is though; at least, Gene didn’t mind at all, and Pete thought he was pretty. I wanted him to be recognizable if one knew where to look (face, body language). I didn’t want him to end up a tiny, frail-looking waif-- given what he looks like as a dude, that didn’t make sense to me. So this meant the less perfect attributes had to stay and carry over to a female body. He ended up with big boobs because... well, honestly because if he wasn’t going to end up with a great figure overall, he might as well have great boobs. And I mean, really, his chest’s already pretty all right as-is.

I didn’t want there to be a love triangle, but I did want it obvious, at least in an offhand way, that Peter and Paul had had sex (Ace mentions it in the car with Peter, with his “how long did it take you”). I wanted to incorporate Ace and Peter to as great an extent as possible in general.

Marbas is an actual demon from The Lesser Key of Solomon, although other than the few sentences Paul reads off from that grimoire, there’s not much more information on him to be found.

#kiss fanfiction #liner notes #gene simmons x paul stanley

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jiminfms · 4 years

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* hi , my name’s tee and this ain’t a waist trainer bitch , this a back brace i got scoliosis . 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 , 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐤𝐫𝐢𝐬 ( finally ) ! i prefer either ��feminine or non - binary pronouns , and i reside in the est time zone ! it has taken me so long to formally write and i highkey hate it because i lost muse for my queen miss giavanna , so i decided to bring another muse instead of leaving because honestly ... i love ya’ll 🥺 . the way i love miss jennie kim is more than i wanna admit , so let me introduce you guys to the tiny ball of aggression that is jimin jung !

omg ! i was walking yonge street downtown , and you’ll never guess who i saw . jimin jung ! i just saw a post about them on sixsecrets ! i think it said something like ' jimin jung physically restrained by security guards following a verbal argument with fellow customer at drake one fifty ! ' . isn’t that wild ? i guess it makes sense though , since they’re apparently antagonistic and bellicose . but i’ve heard they’re also sultry and voguish ! i’ll just stick to giving them the benefit of the doubt . i mean , it’s not like i know them personally — they’re a famous singer / songwriter and model ! you know , i’ve actually heard rumors that redacted , but they’re just rumors … i think . i dunno . if you happen to run into them , tell them i’m their biggest fan !

FULL NAME : jung jimin .

NICKNAME(S) : n/a .

AGE + DATE OF BIRTH : 24 + june 10th , 1996 .

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN : gemini .

MEYERS - BRIGGS PERSONALITY TYPE : entj .

MORAL ALIGNMENT : chaotic neutral .

GENDER + PRONOUNS : cis female + she / her / hers .

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : bisexual .

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : biromantic .

PLACE OF BIRTH : kensington , london , england .

PLACE OF RESIDENCE : toronto , ontario , canada ( specifically , in the neighborhood of forest hill ) .

OCCUPATION : singer / songwriter and model .

VOICECLAIM : dua lipa .

NATIONALITY : british - korean .

ETHNICITY : korean .

LANGUAGES SPOKEN : english , korean , and japanese .

i. prosopography .

jimin’s story begins with the fateful meeting of her parents , kim seo - yeon and jung do - young , on a cold winter’s day . they found themselves at the tender ages of 20 and 22 , attending a boring christmas gala with their parents when they would have preferred to do anything else in the world . seo - yeon was a women who knew what she wanted the moment her eyes landed upon it , so when she made brief eye contact with do - young , she purposefully spilled a glass of champagne onto his expensive tom ford suit and made a big deal of it . this sparked their whirlwind romance , and six months later they found themselves announcing their engagement to korean media outlets .

despite how quickly they were engaged , their parents saw this as mutually beneficial . seo - yeon is the youngest daughter of the wealthy kim family , owners of the kq group conglomerate that was worth billions in its own right . do - young was the only child of his parents , and came from park family lineage where their hotels and resorts were the cause of their fortune . the families were soon to be one , and the couple was the chaebol heirs that others envied . following their lavish wedding , seo - yeon and do - young decided that they were going to head off to london to make a life for themselves . so , they transferred to oxford university , finished their schooling , and shortly after seo - yeon’s graduation from the financial economics program , the couple discovered that they were expecting .

it was a sticky summer day when seo - yeon unexpectedly gave birth to their daughter , who decided not to allow her parents time to get to the hospital . jimin was born in the bathtub of her parents’ luxury bathroom , and right into the arms of her slightly panicked but overjoyed father . from the time that she was a toddler , araminta was a very precocious child , picking up on skills quite quickly and speaking in few short sentences by the time she was eleven months old . as she grew older , jimin’s parents remained hands on despite their busy schedules , and decided that they would see what their daughter would have the most interest in . when she was four , her parents began piano lessons , and it was evident that she had a natural gift for the instrument .

life for jimin had always been comfortable , but she didn’t want to take the usual route , or what was expected of her . she had always been interested in music , so she she originally started with taking dance classes . she trained in all forms of dance in order to be well rounded , and she initially had dreams of becoming a backup dancer , but when she was playing around and decided to make a video singing a song that she had written all on her own , jimin became an overnight sensation . her song , hotter than hell , blew up almost instantly and she was signed to warner music group .

i’ve written enough VCJNXVBHCV but her career has followed the timeline of dua’s , although it’s slightly off by maybe the month or the year . she has won a total of forty - two awards in her career , including two grammy awards and three brit awards . although miss dua got a lil clowned for her dancing at one point , i must say that jimin is quite the performer , and definitely makes use of the stages by recreating music videos or simply giving the audience an experience . she has not released future nostalgia as of yet , but it’s what she’s currently working towards ! through her career , she is known by her mononym jimin !

ii. temperament .

jimin is a real bitch , but she doesn’t go out of her way to ‘ out bitch ’ someone because she finds it to be kinda dumb . she’s primarily looking to have fun , and no one is about to be bitchy around her without getting snatched up .

she parties like she just turned twenty - one and dares someone to say something about it ! invite her to the club and she’s coming without a second thought . she’s the friend who will make plans and will get a little sad when people cancel on her , but she’s still going to find a way to enjoy herself .

does not take authority seriously and she can be seen making a jerking off motion whenever someone kisses up to those of authority . talks shit , but backs it up because if you’re bold enough to talk shit you might get hit , right ?

she’s a sultry bitch and she loves it . give her the chance and she’ll flirt with a tree , she’ll flirt with a plant , and she might flirt with your significant other . she can get kinda lewd and will say something really off - beat , and honestly shut her up if you do .

the epitome of a gen - z / millennial line straddler as she can’t walk past a mirror without taking pictures of herself . sickeningly vain as she takes pictures at any chance she can like after getting her hair and makeup done or even when she’s out and about shopping .

iii. headcanons .

jimin is quite chaotic and she does not hold back from it ! she’s a pot stirrer , and she’ll watch everything unfold as if she wasn’t the one to start the problems in the first place . not afraid to spread a rumor or putting a trolling instagram comment on one of her posts on blast . she likes to be petty , but she can back it up ( but it’s NOT fat enough 😔 ) .

her style is vastly different than what’s expected . on stage , i would think her style is something akin to kpop stage outfits , but not necessarily as tame . she’s not afraid to show skin so there’s a lot of embellished leotards and heels , dramatic eye makeup and perfectly styled hair . off stage , she likes a relaxed but high - end style . lots of denim , lots of black , loves oversized pieces , but she loves to follow trends where she can .

loves to yoga , pilates , and anything else that doesn’t involve having to go to an actual gym . she especially love aerial yoga as it keeps her flexible as a dancer .

miss jennie didn’t let us enjoy it long enough , but jimin’s hair is canon to jennie’s blonde pieces ! she’ll switch up the color every so often with temporary dyes , but other than that , it’s usually always blonde !

she doesn’t drink st*rbucks so don’t ask her to go , and she especially doesn’t go because she likes very simple coffee drinks .

iv. wanted connections .

give me everything , please ! i’d love some of the basics like former friends , best friends , industry rivals , friends with benefits , confidant(s) , frenemies , good / bad influences , one night stand(s) , enemies with benefits , or a current or ex fling !

because i love my women loving women , hand over the ex girlfriend ! in my head i’m thinking that they were a really happy couple and they were really good to one another , but they drifted apart . they remain good friends and people probably think there’s still feelings because they can be rather touchy feely with one another ( 👀 ) .

ifykyk .... but i love angst ! i love to have my heart ripped right out of my chest so give me angst in any form : angsty friends , exes , anything !

a couple who are stuck in a limbo ! they have yet to make it past the point of friends , wondering if they’re just a hookup to one another would there could potentially be more . they probably fight a lot because of those underlying feelings , but it could be interesting to explore either way !

give me enemies ! and not for fake but two people who genuinely dislike one another . it’s not surprising for jimin to not get along with a lot of people considering the fact that she’s not ... the nicest , and i’m not entirely sure as to why they’d dislike each other , but it could be so much thank u KFJDFDS .

give me the heartbreak that still lingers i will sell you my SOUL . maybe their relationship was good , or it was a mess KNFJD , but but when they broke up they haven’t fully gotten over it yet ? probably a lot of lingering looks , and giving compliments but they’re kinda awkward because they don’t know how to approach each other sometimes .

#sixhqintro #blog is on dashboard for now while editing !#also this is really long pls don't pelt me with eggs NVJCBHVXC #i did it ya'll KNFJBHD

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thestuckylibrary · 5 years

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Group Ask 129

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Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said:

Hello, I've lost a fic I was reading. In it Bucky is an alien, I think. He is a boxer/fighter, he fights against other alien/enhanced creatures (there's one that's some kind of giant lizard). Steve is still Cap, and he falls for Bucky, and starts going to the gym and becomes Bucky's training partner. What else? Nat or Fury tell Steve about Krees and Skrulls. Bucky lives in the gym, has his few belongings in metal boxes. Sorry, I can't be more specific. Thank you in advance.

samanthahirr, partyhardwoohoo and capiturecs sent in The Boy With The Thorn In His Side by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (complete | 21,980 | E) - AO3 restricked

Anon 2 said:

So I've been looking for a fic that I read probably close to a year ago. It was post TWS and they were living in the tower. During the war they had written letters to each other using their initials for names (Baby for B.B. Sugar for S.G.R) and Sam and Steve are really close so at some point Bucky ends up asking Steve if Sam calls him sugar too. Sorry that it's super vague

mythgrrl said:

i feel like ive sent you a billion asks over the years! good news is i found a fic i know i had sent in asks for a few times (sorry), bad news is i lost another fic. it was steve/buky pwp in wakanda after CACW. it was bottom!steve and they had no lube so they bucky used spit. although it was their first time in the 21st century it was established relationship. i swear the summary was smth like "steve & bucky have a free night in wakanda, they spend it how you think they might"c

disgruntledturtles said:

Hi there! Do you know the fic set in pre-war, where Steve and Bucky are out of money so steve makes a racy film and Bucky ends up seeing it?

slutforasoldier said:

Hey! Super sorry but I'm looking for this fic where Steve and Bucky have a disabled daughter with like metal legs? And they adopt an abused native American boy, I can't remember much else sorry x

dragonflybeach sent in Finding Nina by MPantrochilles (complete | 53,344 | T)

Anon 3 said:

ive been looking for this fic where sam and steve are on the typical "searching for bucky" roadtrip and one night they're in this shitty motel and buck just comes in through the window. i know it's not much to go on, but ive been looking for this fic forever now. please and thank you. i wish you the best of luck.

dragonflybeach sent in If They Haven't Learned Your Name by silentwalrus (complete | 237,623 | M)

Anon 4 said: (abuse)

Hey! I’ve been looking for this fix I read a long time ago. Bucky was raising his niece by himself. Steve was dating Brock rumlow, and rumlow was super abusive. Bucky meets Steve and notices somethings wrong so he tries to help Steve get out of the relationship. There’s also a touch of clintasha

legion-of-queer said:

okay, so maybe you wonderful people can help. Im looking for a babysitter bucky fic. he baby sists steves kids (bucky is a teen) they get into a relationship and nat is buckys sister? ive been looking everywhere for it and just really want to read it again!

Anon 5 said:

alright it's day three in the search for this fic and I'm getting desperate lol. Do y'all know the one where Bucky is kinda mean and cold as a kid until he meets Steve, and they have to touch to be comfortable in their own skin? Steve's mom says it's because they have a special bond but Bucky's mom is like, nah, ur weird. Thanks!

Anon sent in how we are hungry by liketheroad (oneshot | 18,366 | M)

Anon 6 said:

Hello! First, I would like to thank you for all the hard work you do! I'm sorry to bother, but I've looked everywhere for this story, and had no luck finding it. I remember that Bucky forgot about Steve (temporarily), but Steve still kept an eye on him. Then Sam calls him one day to let him know Bucky is missing, only to find him in his apartment (obviously angry). I highly appreciate your help. Also if there is any other story like it. Idk why, but I live for angsty Steve watching over Bucky.

Anon 7 said:

Hi! I searched on your kid!fic rec but didn’t found it so in this fic Steve has a kid and he go to a nursery at the Avengers tower and Bucky take care of him. I just don’t remember if it’s a captain America/modern Bucky Barnes or not 🤷🏽‍♀️

kittenkakt and Anon sent in Love You More by Loeily, Squeaky (oneshot | 36,477 | T)

Anon 8 said:

hi! i lost a fic and need your help :( ive searched on a bunch of your tags and also on ao3. i remember the avengers thought steve was inocent and stuff like that and steve, bucky, natasha and sam (or clint im not sure) go to a mission and bucky and steve have sex and think that no one hears them but when they are on their way back home natasha or sam make a comment about what they heard. i know this is very vague, but the fic was short and i read it a long time ago. thank you so much <3

therandomravenclw and Anon sent in Watch Your Mouth by Enalena (oneshot | 5,311 | E)

indelicateink said:

You guys have opened my eyes to SO many wonderful stories I wouldn't have found otherwise--thank you. I'm hoping you can help me re-find one I loved? Searched the library tags, AO3, my bookmarks; starting to think I'm crazy. Hope this is an easy one: AU in which Bucky is the lead singer of a band (other avengers are bandmates); Steve is a former member of the band (bass guitarist?) who quit under acrimonious circumstances. The story focuses on him temporarily rejoining to help them out on tour?

Anon 9 said:

Hi, I’m looking for a post-WS fic where Bucky and Steve are in the Tower, and Bucky starts learning to cook and making all these amazing meals but he tells Steve they’re all takeout, and somehow the rest of the avengers gang ends up helping him hide his awesome new cooking skills from Steve. I checked the chef tags and can’t find it in there.

capiturecs sent in Dream of Caramel: or, A Recipe for Disaster by gwyneth rhys (gwyneth) (oneshot | 17,037 | T)

Anon 10 said:

i can’t seem to find this kidfic i read once. one scene i specifically remember stevebuckys child ate something they (i think he?) were allergic to. real hurtcomfort

#group asks

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theabandonedunknown-blog · 5 years

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dont know what the fuck this is

DO YOU EVER KIND OF WONDER WHAT LOVE REALLY IS? IS IT a FIGMENT OF OUR IMAGINATION? FLASHING BACK A HANDFUL OF YEARS… I HAD FALLEN IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME. OR SO I HAD THOUGHT. (((THIS WILL JUMP AROUND THREE BILLION TIMES BEFORE YOU’LL UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF WRITING IT, OR AT LEAST WHO I AM AS A PERSON.))) WELL, KNOWING MYSELF I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I AM ALWAYS HESITANT TO GET CLOSE TO PEOPLE IN TERMS OF A RELATIONSHIP. I DO NOT LIKE FEELING VULNERABLE AND I HAVE TROUBLE WITH MANY THINGS SUCH AS INTIMACY, EYE CONTACT, WHATEVER. IVE ALWAYS BEEN SO CURIOUS ABOUT LOVE, MAKING ME JUST ABOUT THE STUPIDEST PERSON ANYONE COULD KNOW. I WANT TO FEEL WHAT REAL LOVE IS LIKE, I WANT TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING SPOKEN ABOUT AND WRITTEN IN THE BOOKS. I AM AWARE THAT I AM YOUNG, BUT IT FEELS LIKE TIME IS RUNNING OUT. I HAVE ALWAYS FELT LIKE I NEED TO COMPLETE THE BIG THINGS IN LIFE IMMEDIATELY. MAYBE THIS IS BECAUSE A HIGHER POWER KNOWS I WILL NOT BE HERE LONG. ANYWAY, I AM TERRIFIED YET CURIOUS. MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP I FORCED MYSELF TO LOVE THIS BEING, WITH EVERYTHING I HAD. THIS WAS THE WORST DECISION I COULD EVER MAKE. I WAS 15. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. LITTLE DID I KNOW THIS PERSON WOULD THEN RUIN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND FIVE YEARS LATER I WOULD STILL HAVE BEEN WITH THEM…. STUPID, YES. (NEVER ONCE SAID I WAS SMART)..... BLAH BLAH BLAH, MORAL OF THE STORY IS I LEFT THAT WITH A FEW THINGS

YOU CAN BELIEVE SOMEONE LOVES YOU, YET THEY ARE DOING TERRIBLE THINGS NOT TO YOUR KNOWLEDGE

IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU GIVE A LITTLE BIT, TOO MUCH, OR NOT ENOUGH, THEY WILL NOT TREAT YOU RIGHT, VALUE YOU, OR STAY WITH YOU

neverrrr trust a man

To be completely honest, this list could probably continue a hell of a lot younger

——> i have learned many things over the past five years of that relationship, parts of myself, and traits and habits I plan to never return to. However, some damage is not to be erased.

Currently i am in my second relationship. I have carried some damage over from before into this… yes, if you truly believe that i should have healed what hurt me so i did not allow myself to ..”Bleed on other people”, then you are so right. Buuuuuut. What if they all are the same? And what if it is because of me? What if all they do is use someone until they have no purpose anymore. What if they just dont care about you, but they still want you around? I will never know how to understand love, that is something i have since come to terms with, yet it still fascinates me. I will continue to love and repair myself and try until i no longer have it in me. Last time it truly almost killed me so we will see how this goes.

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twdmusicboxmystery · 6 years

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8s = 8 Year Time Jump?

Okay Peeps! I’ve been wanting to get a theory posted about this for a while, and it’s something that I’ve mentioned briefly here and there this season, having to do with the time jump. I thought it would be a super-epic sprawling post, but it’s really not. I’ll be linking to several posts I’ve written before so you can get more details, and that will keep this post relatively short.

It has to do with all the 8s we’ve seen in the show since S4 and especially around Beth. Let’s do a little recap of some of the major instances of 8.

We saw a TON of 8 clocks around Beth. Most of the clocks we saw in the background of Grady read 8:00. Details HERE.

Then there’s all the 8:20 clocks, which represent something specific about death and resurrection. Details here: (X, X, X,)

When Daryl leads the walkers into the basement in Alone, there’s a tray down there with 8 pairs of scissors. (X). I’m mentioning this one for a specific reason. I’ll tell you why in a minute.

There’s Eugene’s 8-ball reference in S6. (X)

There’s the fact that in Still, Beth and Daryl pass the grandfather clock, and it reads 8 minutes before the hour. When they pass it again, it chimes. Which means 8 minutes have passed. Again, very significant. (X)

Then there’s a prominent number 8 behind Beth in 5x09, during Ty’s death hallucination.

We have some 8s in Roman Numerals (X).

Quite frankly, there are also a lot more random 8s that I haven’t mentioned here. These are just the most significant. Click the links above for more details, understanding that I doubt I even have all the instances recorded. There have been TONS of them.

Okay, so what’s up? What’s my argument about 8s? If you read through these old theories, you’ll see that most of them argue that the 8s must point to S8. Because that’s what we thought. They must show that she’ll return in S8. How could they not, right? But she didn’t. We were disappointed not to see her in S8.

Was that a little discouraging? Sure. Uh, you know, for most people. ;D

I’ve even justified it with the fact—yes fact!—that Andrew Lincoln was originally supposed to leave in S8, but ended up staying until S9. But the more I look at all the 8s around her, the more convinced I am that we were simply wrong and they NEVER pointed to her return in S8.

I just don’t think it can be a coincidence that we saw all those 8s, and then, after 2 time jumps, we’re now exactly 8 years post-Coda.

Thesis: I think the 8s pointed to her returning after 8 years (for the characters in the show; not us). Take a second look at the instances I’ve pointed out in the past. Look past the actual number and to the way the symbol actually functions.

Clocks at Grady: The 8:00 clocks are often in the rooms of patients who have just died. We’ve always assumed that pointed to Beth’s own “death” in 5x08. And it probably did, but as @wdway pointed out HERE, the symbol for the number 8 in the Hebrew alphabet is X (X Theory) and it means “new beginnings.” (Which we can also tie into baptism/rebirth/beth = water, but that’s a whole other post.) So I think these clocks were meant to symbolize Beth’s own death (which is why we so often see her and the 8 clock with dead patients at Grady) but that she’ll return after 8 years for a new beginning.

Daryl and the 8 pairs of scissors: Remember the last thing he said was, “Go up the road, I’ll meet you there.” Beth: “I’m not gonna leave you.” Then he sees 8 pairs of SCISSORS (another Beth symbol from Grady). See what I mean? I’m thinking this showed that the meeting up the road wouldn’t happen until 8 years later and that they wouldn’t truly be together again like they were in S4 until 8 years had passed.

Grandfather clock in Still: This one is probably the most significant. I mean, we literally had them pass the clock—you know, the one with roman numerals and the latin inscription that means “time escapes”—and when they pass it again, 8 minutes have gone by. I mean, we all know there was a billion pounds of symbolism going on in that golf club, and we have a literal representation of 8…units of time passing. Again, now we are exactly 8 years post Coda. Think that’s a coincidence? Yeah, me neither.

Eugene’s 8 Ball reference is honestly a little less clear, and I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts on it. On one hand, the wolves showed up right after he made this reference, so it could show that the wolves wouldn’t return/truly be beaten until 8 years later. But he also associated the 8-ball reference with “end game,” so maybe it shows that the end game (a.k.a. Beth) wouldn’t be seen for 8 years. Again, not sure on this one. Just spit-balling.

And of course the 8 behind her in 5x09 is probably pretty obvious at this point: that she wouldn’t be seen after that until 8 years had passed.

I also want to throw in that TD has read a LOT into all the time references around Beth. Yeah, there’s the clocks, but we’ve gone much deeper than that. References to resets, messing with time, time travel, time slippage. You get the idea. I’m wondering now if we were really over-thinking it. Maybe all those time references, starting from Gimple saying they were messing with time in S5, especially right after Coda, simply were a way of referring to (without actually saying) that a great deal of time would pass before they went back to Beth’s arc and told us what the hell went down during those missing 17 days.

So this is where I’m currently at in my thinking. Does it mean she’ll show up in S9 for sure? Not necessarily. Unfortunately.

I still think there’s a good chance we’ll see her this season, but I can also see the back half being very taken up by the Whisperers and them not quite getting to Beth. (I’ve said before that her return in S10 would have a certain symmetry because of all the Xs; X = Roman Numeral 10). So I think it could go either way.

If we don’t see her, I’ll be disappointed but I believe more than ever that we’ll see her somewhere, and soon. I think the only thing we can say for sure right now is that we’ll see her somewhere in this new arc that began with Rick leaving. That’s why we’re seeing so many Beth symbols, Beth parallels, images of her, her voice, etc. She’s coming in this arc.

But if the show starts moving really slowly again (we haven’t heard any peeps about another time jump anytime soon) then we might still be 8 years post-Coda in S10.

See what I mean? So yeah. Those are my thoughts about where we’re at heading into 9b.

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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smallblanketfort · 6 years

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reasons not to

i asked followers and friends to tell me why they’re alive. why they stayed. this is what happened.

the world is beautiful, like, breathtakingly, stunningly, dashingly, spectacularly, exasperatingly beautiful. every wall dirty with paint and ornate with mud and graffiti, all the moldy trees and infuriating insects, all the contorted perfect faces around the world, the decaying and the rising, whatever dichotomy that comes to life and anything that grows according to the plan is beautiful. and it breaks my heart that i will never see all the beauty in the world, but at least i gotta try.

I’m staying alive because I am not ready to be forgotten. This universe has existed for 14 billion years and will continue to exist for at least 14 billion more. In this grand scale, I get an average of 70 years, if I’m lucky. I will not be forgotten. I will do everything it takes to make a difference, to create, to grow and to cherish. I will not be forgotten.

tbh, the main reason i keep myself clean and alive is that i know my family wouldn't be able to take it if i didn't. everyone in my family either has psychological issues or strong tendencies to develop them, and the reason we all keep going, i believe, is because we know we have to be there for each other, otherwise everyone will fall. and i know it's kinda sad and maybe a little unhealthy sometimes but it's how we've worked for the longest time, and hey, we're still here, right?

I’ve stayed alive for my gay ambitions. I wanna kiss a girl! While sober! I’ve had 2 kisses while drunk but I don’t remember one and it sucks. I wanna be confident enough to kiss a girl without anything helping. Also one of those girls was straight and kissing me for attention from her gross boyfriend, I’d like to avoid that situation again lol. But yeah, gayness. Fuckin wild my dude. Gotta shoot my shot and get some lip-lock ya feel?

i reached out for help a while ago to a teacher and if it weren’t for him i might not have made it. he’s said so many things and tells me that i matter, i’m worth it, i deserve to be happy, and he wished he had a daughter like me. it makes me cry knowing that he puts effort into making sure i’m okay, and that’s what keeps me going. i want to make sure his efforts don’t go to waste.

I'm still alive for going out with friends on nights like this. Hearing the birds wake up. Seeing neon lights and stars. That even when I feel so lonely, so alone, I can at least see my friends have fun and lose myself in the music.

I want to be clean because then at least i know i can do it. I've only stayed clean for a few months and then relapsed. If i can make it to a year, then at least i know i can do another and then another and then another and maybe even not deal with it at all anymore. I just want to beat this for good.

my mom’s battled depression her whole life, and last fall i broke down sobbing and started telling her about how mine had been festering in secret for so long. and she started telling me about all the pain she never thought would bridge the mother-daughter divide and how she wanted to breathe in the shadows like smoke to keep them from burning my skin. sometimes at night we crawl into each others beds and carry the weight together when our arms have started giving out. i stay alive for her.

The thing that kept me here most was knowing that my life is not really my own. No one is purely self- contained. To end my own life would be to alter dozens. So, to counter my own feeling of worthlessness, I invested my time in things that I knew had a net positive impact on the world. The more objectively positive meaning that I gave to my life made it harder to argue that I should kill myself. What would my parents do? What would my also suicidal younger brother do? We're probably a package deal in this regard. Same with some students I lead a mental health group with. I had set an example to them, and I can't fail that hard without risking their well being.

Simply, my boyfriend. It started with him physically hiding anything I could use to hurt myself. Over time, with his support, I learned some self worth and improved so much. Now those things don't have to be hidden. Even now that he's gone for a year and a half and our contact is limited to a 20 minutes phone call a day and letters, I find I'm still stable enough to stay alive and clean. He taught me how to be safe even without him and that's worth everything.

I stuck around because for some reason, something was telling me to check things out until I'm 30. When I was a kid, I imagined myself getting older all the time. When I wanted to die, I couldn't see anything past the age I was in, 19. I was both so scared and so sad for my innocence, but apparently, it never left me. Because, even though I couldn't /see/ myself beyond 19, my body made me feel like I could. Did that make sense? I'm 24 now. So far I'm glad I stuck around.

Don't want to sound conceited, but there was a kid at church who just loved me. She was like my tail. Although, I think I learned from her more than she learned from me. We both spent the whole day in church because of various activities I was involved in and because her parents were in the choir for all the services. We were always together when there was nothing for me to do-- she talked a lot. I loved hearing what she had to say. That's why I didn't. I looked forward to her growth every week

I'm alive because of the Oscar's. A few years ago a theater was showing all the nominated movies, and my mom and I went to see Manchester by the Sea. It's a sad movie, about an accident that killed some kids, but it affected my mom a lot more than me. I remember walking back to the car and her talking about how she probably wouldn't be able to go on if one of her kids died. I still can't imagine a future, but so far I'm here and tthinking about that conversation in that parking structure.

i stayed alive because i couldn’t choose which sunrise would be my last.

My family, friends, and God keep me here. If it weren't for them, I might have committed suicide or at least harmed myself because I was so overwhelmed with the world and hated myself for how far I went into sin. I might be in prison because I was heading down a path that could have lead to illegal things. God has always pulled me back in and my family has always been there to talk to. A couple of friends have helped a lot too. I also hate inflicting pain on myself and others, so that has kept me here as well .I am still coming out of certain sins and I am still recovering, but I have hope now in Christ and hope for a better future. I still get overwhelmed and perplexed by this world, but I have support and I know that God is working in my life which will allow me to help others hopefully.

i’m alive because of the little things. seeing your plants flower, the dew in the morning, low hanging clouds in the mountains, the smell of warm dirt after it rains, the tingling feeling of your fingers warming up after going numb.

A fear of hurting my mum, sisters and best friend is the biggest factor in me staying. There have been so many times that I've thought - known - they'd be better off without me, but I know they won't see it like that, and will just be hurt. Personal vanity and the hope I can accomplish the projects I've dreamed of finishing also keeps me going.

On most days, staying clean is the hope that I can be used by the Lord in the lives of people who have been through the same thing—that one day I can look at someone and say, “I made it through… you can too.” On the nights I almost relapse, I think of the girls I’m discipling and the witness I have for Christ and wrestle with the effects of one hasty decision—and five years down the drain. The staying alive thing is a little more complicated sometimes. For the most part, it’s because I’ve personally seen the impact of suicide—both in my family and friendships. However, sometimes that’s not good enough. And, as pathetic as it seems, there are times when my cat is the only reason I’m still here. Phteven has super high anxiety, is afraid of most everyone (myself excluded), and is, generally, pretty high maintenance because of all his fears. No one in their right mind would take care of him if I were gone. So, on the darkest nights of my life, I’ve honestly stayed because I think my cat would end up at a shelter, and he would 100% have a heart attack because of the anxiety (which written out sounds really silly, but there ya go.) In general, however, it’s the knowledge of the impact it would have—regardless of how well I perceived to be loved or cared for.

For me the hope of tomorrow, there is always a new day. Ive always been an optimist and even in my darkest moments, hope keeps me grounded. Romans 8:18, Psalm 51:10 & Hebrews 6:19 have been verses that have helped me through to the point i have an anchor tattoo with Steadfast across it.

While some of these may sound dumb, they’ve kept me going all these years: all the books I’ll be able to read some day. all the movies/tv shows/music I’ll get to watch/listen to. All the laughs with my crazy friends. All the laughs with my crazy family. The possibility of road trips and vacations. The possibility of writing a book of my own. Falling in love. Being best friends with my sister. Loving my niece to pieces. Smelling the air after it’s just rained, and/or after the grass has been cut. Seeing the first snowfall every year. Seeing the corn and beans sprouting every spring. Sitting on a porch when I’m old. Having grandchildren to tell all your crazy stories to. And laughing. So much laughing. 😌

my reason to stay alive is my friends. they needed me to keep going, to keep pushing through every dark night. I know just how devastating it would be if one of my plans actually did work. since my dad passed away, every day was getting harder and harder to get through, until eventually i just didn't want to even live for the new morning. it's only been a few months now since the suicidal thoughts and the urge to self harm has left, but I think what got me through the worst of it was the unrelenting support of my friends. they were there for me through every breakdown, every panic attack and every dark thought. I genuinely don't think I'd be here today without their support- their kindness is what kept me going. I've worked hard for three years now on my mental health, I've been going to counselling and seeking support from other people. I've taken self care with open arms and its made such a difference. reaching out for help was so hard but it was so so worth it. I've reached my 18th birthday, a milestone I never thought i could ever achieve- yet here I am proving every horrible thought my brain spews up wrong. I'm so thankful I never gave up, because each day now - while sometimes still a struggle, shows me how the world has a little light bearing through even when things seem to be going shit. my lovely friends, my art and music is what wakes me up every morning and motivates me to sleep at night. life does get better.

In the past it was always my sister and brother. I always kept going and stayed here just so one day I could find them and we could be together. Be a family. I loved them since the moment I met them. Though my sister was only three and didn't speak English at the time only French. Of course I only knew English. My brother was to be born very soon. I was instantly in love. To know that I had them. They were my world. They held me together. Even though for the next 13 years we would not see each other for unfair reasons. Now 22 years later what keeps me here has changed only slightly. My sister and my father are what keep me here. For a very different reason now though. Four years ago my little brother, the one I was just speaking of, was murdered. Along with his girlfriend and her sister. I keep going because right now I can't let my dad suffer the loss of two children. I can't let the sweetest sister in the world lose two siblings. I can't let them down. I have to stay strong. I have to keep going. It's exhausting most days, and it gets harder as time goes on. So I fight back more to keep going because I love them and I know they love me.

I guess for me -- the reason I stayed is because I almost didn't stay, and it was the total grace of God that I'm here. At the time I thought I would have stayed for my family, or my friends, or my future -- but I totally could not see any of that other than the continuous hurt I thought I was inflicting on them. I had a really bad fall semester at my university that led me to eventually take a much needed and helpful medical leave my spring semester;; but the first time that I really almost did it I was breaking down on the top floor of a parking garage at my university, begging that God would actually see me and wanting prayer but not knowing where to go and not wanting to "burden" anyone I knew. As this was happening, this guy walks to the top of the garage and sees me - comes over to where I was sitting, asks if I'm okay and gives me a hug, and asks if he could pray for me (and my university is not even religious at *all*). He literally slept in a booth across from me and stayed with me all night as I finished my homework, and he walked with me to class the next day. In the midst of everything that I was a bit of hope. Towards the very end of the semester, I had seriously made the decision I was going to do it and went about with all what I thought were my parting arrangements -- the next morning when I was going to leave he sends me a text and shows up at my dorm, telling me he was praying for me and wanted to stay with me that day until I left to go back home to Pittsburgh where I'd be for my medical leave. Both of those times I actually didn't see a reason to stay -- but God did. And it took some time for that to really sink in... that God wants me to stay. That he wouldn't let me go. And that has been a massive reason why I stay now. In addition to that, through this healing season I have relearned the beauty of family and friendship, and how much love there actually is surrounding me -- and now, I look around and I appreciate it that much more because it was almsot never there. Knowing that God never gave up and there *actually was* soooooo much love and life on the other side of this that I was convinced I would never see gives me so much hope to keep holding on and to not listen to the lies that there is no good for me or my future. I don't want to live my life out of guilt or fear of what will happen to me or my friends/family after I'm gone -- but I guess that is a part of it, seeing many friends die from preventable causes and the damage it does puts things into perspective. But I'd say my main reason for staying is knowing that life really is worth it and precious when I can't see it, because I know what it's like to make it out the other side and understand how tightly God holds onto us when we don't want to even hold on anymore.

I stayed alive because I didn't know there was another option. I was young. I stayed alive because I didn't want my sister to have to live as someone with that kind of hole in her life. I stayed alive because there was always some upcoming performance and my company is too small for understudies or alternates. I stayed alive because there was always someone not quite as steady who relied on me to do so. Only now, finally, I can stay alive because I want to.

Reasons I stay alive: the love of the people close to me, and the knowledge that with age we get better. Anxieties lessen and dissipate, confidence grows, skills develop and things generally become clearer.

Ive been thinking about this post quite a lot, Haha. Mostly, it’s because I don’t want to give up. I want to prove to myself and my loved ones that I’m so much stronger than I think I am and I’d like to show the bullies of my past that I’m stronger than they think. Also, my family and friends and boyfriend keep me here. There’s so much see in the future, and I sometimes just... hold on to that. I lost touch with one of my best friends for years and I’m just too glad to have her back in my life since last year and I know (haha this sounds selfish I guess, but she told me haha) that she’s so glad about it as well. There’s so many things I want to achieve and things to see. I mean - about three weeks ago, said best friend and I met our childhood hero and I just kept thinking “man, I’m so glad I stayed”.

it’s on my blog too x and twitter

#mental health #suicide #anxiety #depression #thesproutclub on twitter + ig #stay alive #still alive #important #stories

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icybeanheadcanons · 7 years

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General Headcanons for the Skellies

Thought I would start off with some general headcanons for these boys.

It's long so I'm gonna put it under the cut I think.

Undertale

Tale

-a sweetheart. He's so sweet he’ll probably rot your teeth.

-Smart ™. No seriously. He's perceptive as hell and notices small details. On first glance his puzzles may seem easy but actually have some degree of challenge to them.

-workaholic honestly??? He doesn't exactly mean to be he just has a habit of throwing himself full force into everything he does.

-his voice is on the louder side so it seems like he's screaming but he isn't. You can hear him 30 feet away??? But he's talking in his normal speaking voice he can't be that loud can he?

-slightly self conscious on his volume control. He's startled a few people once having reached the surface with how loud he was which really bothers him. He's not intimidating he swears. He makes a conscious effort to make himself seem not quite as intimidating.

-tol bean, about 6 feet tall. Excited to meet people taller than him. He finds it amazing even if its an inch difference. You're shorter??? YOU’RE PRECIOUS CLEARLY.

-a walking ray of sunshine and generally is so very positive about people even when being relatively negative toward him. Compliments are an absolute.

-he recognizes not everyone can be inherently good and overall be a real bully. He knows they're not the greatest but he is sure they aren't entirely bad, no one is!

-holy shit, i know this bean likes to give compliments but if you're a horrible person trash talking him or his brother??? Prepare for to hear backhanded compliments, and being one upped in every sense of the word. He's not one to take insults lying down. He still turns them into compliments, and it really shakes people into being nicer. Good. Because those comments always hurt him.

-well deserved ego, but still has some insecurities and doubt about his capabilities. Did he do enough??? Maybe he should do more???? Please don't let him do more he will absolutely overwork himself.

-sly as a fox my guy. You think he's innocent? B o y. You're in trouble. Lucky for you, he won't take advantage of this. For the most part. When he does you always find out at the end and it's something small usually. He kind of uses it as a reminder that he's not innocent. Stop that. He knows he's an amazing cinnamon roll but there's way more sin than you realize.

-would adopt every stray he sees. He could probably open up a petting zoo he's got so many animals visiting his house. There's at least 30 stray cats that visit him at one time.

-volunteers at an animal shelter. Because look at all those adorable furry babies. Can he please take them all home? No?? Fine then he’ll make sure they go to a proper loving home.

-prefers cats but dogs are just as good. Just as long as they don't take off with any bone attacks. He loves them even if they do.

-generally doesn't curse but isn't afraid to. They're just words and generally, if they don't insult someone they're perfectly fine words to use. He doesn't use them generally for other people’s sake.

-loves his brother with every fiber of his being. “My brother is amazing LOOK AT HIM.” He's the first person he has to tell news to just by default.

-watches anime because of alphys now and watches a lot of cooking shows. Documentaries from time to time if it really sparks his interests. Super hero shows he lives for.

-much better cook now that he has actual things to go off of for learning. Undyne did her best but dear lord. That wasn't really cooking it was more like Scary Cooking ™.

-puns are okay just don't drown him in them like his brother. Please and thank you. Will act made but he's laughing and smiling.

Classy Bean

-you're actually going to drown in puns and that is how you’ll die. I promise you. It’ll be glorious. You’ll probably end up with a pun written on your grave.

-SPACE. This guy loves space, upon reaching the surface and settling in he dives at every book about space he can get his hands on. He will lit up like the stars he so adores. Even if its just some piece of clothing with a star or space design, that's his aesthetic he will wear whatever it is because SPACE.

-talk science to this nerd oh my god. Especially curious about the sky don't let him fool you. He overall loves biology too, specifically wildlife. Everything on the surface is unfamiliar and so he loves it all. So. Fucking. Much.

-reading is his main thing, but isn't afraid to watch things on netflix. Tale always forgets to switch to his profile though so he gets a lot of anime suggestions amongst his billion documentaries. Also enjoys watching comedians.

-talk to him about his interests. He will go from sluggish to being very animated in seconds.

-insomnia for days. It's not as bad as in the underground but he's still relatively restless. Its not generally always because his thoughts are loud and deafening. Not really. This is usually when he goes to the backyard and flops on the ground to stare at the sky. Or he puts on a documentary. Never a comedian because that makes him a little more keyed up and awake.

-by the time day has come where Tale has gotten up he's watched several documentaries. Oops.

-Tale worries and fusses about him before taking up research to help with insomnia. He buys various teas and anything else that could help his brother relax. Though Classy Bean will generally fall asleep when his brother hugs him. He sleeps a lot better with someone next to him remarkably. Tale tucks him in before he cleans his brother's room before it drives him insane from simply looking at the mess. Self sustaining tornados are forbidden, so there's that he doesn't need to take care of.

-Tale and Classy Bean often fall asleep together on the couch when they spend time together watching one of mettaton’s shows. Nothing knocks them out faster.

-relatively a chill dude. He's pretty easy to get along with.

-don't hurt Tale. Seriously he’ll fight you. That doesn't always mean physically but he's ready to punch you in the face at any time if you talk shit about his brother. Doesn't care if you practically are shitting yourself because of his intimidation that was kind of the point of the thing.

-will not interfere in his brother’s life besides that. He knows his brother is relatively quick witted and clever. After an interaction with someone relatively rude he will send them a quick glare before getting Tale away from them. He hopes they ever so kindly fuck off. This is about one of the only times he is anywhere near aggressive.

-smol bean is 5 ft tall. Please don't remind him he's small and can't reach things its irritating as is. If you're smaller than him he will be secretly happy and adoring your tiny size. If you're tall he will probably try to get you to pick him up and carry him on his shoulders. One because he's lazy and two he secretly wishes to know what it's like to be tall.

-crippling depression. This hasn't changed for him. Though it's gotten relatively better where he's able to “fake it till you make it back home to your bed” more often than before, but there's those few days where he's absolutely drained. Where everything lists itself and swarms him and is overwhelming. He's tired but can't sleep. So he just lays in bed staring at the ceiling. These are the days Tale looks out for at a constant. On the days he sees his brother faking (he always knows) he tries to bring him some comfort and sometimes is able to address the rising problems before they build up too much. When Classy Bean gets like this his brother dotes on him. He knows he's doing his best, and always reassures him.

-generalized anxiety. Its not usually a huge problem where it causes him panic attacks (he has had a few before though) but he is always worried about something. He keeps a stress ball in his pocket which helps take the edge off. His brother usually is able to ease the anxiety and if not can help him walk through it to find that the thing bothering him was fine.

-birds. He loves birds. Their feathers are pretty, they're majestic but completely ridiculous at the same time. He developed a love for them when a crow had landed on his head. He felt like a Chosen One ™ in that instant. He's now a friend to all birds. The crow visits him often to bring him gifts. Buttons are fairly common. He named the crow Scare. Yes. Because then he could say he was a Scare Crow. Tale is fed up with this.

Underfell

Soft Edge

-Was captain of the royal guard. He's very proud of this.

-slightly inflated ego. Some of it is deserved the other part he needs to tone down.

-so very extra and dramatic. He's kind of a huge dork.

-“WHAT IVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING EMBARRASSING IN MY LIFE” he's lying. He has done a handful and then some of embarrassing things. It's actually just him being a dork and being relatively cute.

-he lives for compliments. And attention. He desires all of it. Will begrudgingly accept sharing your attention though.

-relatively good cook. A little bit better than Tale.

-BAKING. He makes the best treats. He's a little self conscious about them though.

-constantly afraid he's a terrible person deep down. Is he taking care of his brother? Is he a good enough brother? These are serious questions for him. He's wonderful and doing his best.

-surprisingly nurturing. Kind of a kid magnet. He doesn't go to parks if he's looking for peace and quiet. He will end up playing games with the kids instead.

-please no puns. There are a few he enjoys truly. He can't help but smile when his brother makes them though because he knows he's comfortable then. He'll crack a few himself to help ease his brother's anxiety.

-cooking shows. He likes Gordon Ramsay a lot.

-loves art honestly. Like holy heck someone made that with their own two hands. Has not thought of trying to make any himself. He likes to watch different kinds of shows involving some art form. It's fascinating to watch.

-he's a real sweetheart under all that edge don't let him fool you.

-even more perceptive than Tale is. Though he doubts himself when it comes to his brother. Are you sure you interpreted that right? 99% of the time he has. His puzzles are a lot more intense than Tale’s.

-horror movies make him uncomfortable. He often finds them stupid as well but for some reason they urk him. Specifically the killer ones.

-kind of?? Fascinated by humans. They work a lot differently from monsters and that seems pretty damn cool.

-be rude to him and he'll be a savage asshole. Can be slightly rude on a regular basis. He's not meaning to.

-his scarf is a gift from his brother and is his most cherished possession.

-will fight you if you don't think his brother is the absolute best. He will literally fight you.

-TOLLER BEAN. This boy is so tol its scary. 7’7 is so tol. You will not be taller than him which makes him feel pretty good about himself. If you're shorter than average he will want to pick you up and carry you around. He secretly adores tiny things they are simply ridiculously adorable.

-secretly loves pastels. They're soft and are the opposite of his usual aesthetic of edgy and dark but he doesn't really care they're cute colors. He really likes cute things he's come to realize and he likes to keep it on the down low. He's supposed to be scary and intimidating.

-is only scary and intimidating when he's angry. Has only been truly angry with his brother a few times in his life, and it wasn't fun. So he has amazing control over his temper.

-soft things are the best and no one can tell him otherwise.

-if he wants to do something he will do it NOTHING WILL STOP HIM. He refuses to back down. He will listen to reason though, he considers himself to be a reasonable skeleton.

-loud. Very loud. It helped intimidate people, but now he doesn’t have much of a need for it so he’s learning volume control. It is harder than he thought it would be.

Red Boy

-24/7 aggressive internal screaming. Okay but seriously, he is. He has so much anxiety from the underground.

-always half expecting for “the other shoe to drop” or rather the bad shit to come his way when a good thing happens. Always afraid his happiness will be ripped away from him.

-needs so much affection the poor bab. He tries not to bother his brother about getting a hug all the time because he’s pretty sure he’d never let go.

-coat is big and floof like a security blanket. It’s a lot bigger than him it’s like he’s drowning in it which is exactly how he wants it.

-Also has depression like Classy Bean but it’s not as severe. His main problem is his overwhelming anxiety.

-coat was a gift from Soft Edge, and he will never go anywhere without it. It’s hot? Well guess he’ll die.

-the quiet bothers him. It’s crushing and overwhelming and it makes him super paranoid. On the surface they live in the city at least and so nothing is ever completely dead silent like in the underground. Soft Edge picked this on purpose for his brother.

-Like Classy Bean, he loves birds. Specifically birds of prey. They’re big and dangerous and he just thinks they’re super cool.

-Actually has an owl. He found an abandoned owlet in the woods when him and his brother were hiking one day (he was forced into it but at least he was spending time with his bro) and it had taken a shine to him. He tried to get it to stay but it kept following him. He ended up giving in to the little bird’s demands to stay with him. He couldn’t resist. He named the owl Hootyhoo.

-actually likes horror movies despite his anxiety. If asked why he will look dead straight at you and without skipping a beat say, “my life is a horror movie.” Paranormal movies scare the shit out of him.

-has made the mistake again and again of playing horror games in the dark. With headphones. Every time, he ends up screaming and falling out of his chair which wakes up Soft Edge. He ends up sleeping in his brothers room that night, terrified to be alone.

-has a lightsaber that can glow so he can walk down the halls to get snacks without disturbing anything. He forgets his magic can glow. He’s scared, tired, and hungry. He just wants to be sure he can get his snacks without getting attacked by something horrifying.

-will watch a lot of super hero movies and tv shows with his brother. They’re actually pretty cool and will go investigate some comics for his favorites.

-he’s a huge nerd, and has found himself looking through harry potter and lord of the rings stuff more than once.

-isn’t as big of a fan of science but still enjoys learning what he can, and the fact everything is practically at his fingertips with the internet he adores it. His phone has become one of the things he uses the most.

-is actually a tol bean too. He’s 7’ tall and actually rather enjoys the fact he’s super tall amongst humans. It’s great, look at how small they are it’s adorable.

-Darker sense of humor than Classy Bean, but still adores puns. Half of his humor is not pg-13 so be warned.

-will text Soft Edge at 4 am with weird questions. “What if… we’re all just fuckin ants to some aliens and that’s why they haven’t visited us?” He’s always met with “go the fuck to sleep”

-also pretty loud like his brother, and sometimes when they’re irritated about something they will go into a small screaming match. They don’t even say anything, it’s just incoherent screeching.

-kind of a flirt. Like he tries but isn’t all that great at it and will often just make you laugh. Outside of puns, words aren’t his forte.

-stays up way too late because he likes to make mistakes apparently. He needs to be up early tomorrow? That’s fine he’ll just watch one more walkthrough video- it’s 4 am now… How did he get here? What is time? He dies inside the next day. He takes a nap when he gets home. Rinse and repeat.

Underswap

Honey Bear

-Oh god the biggest meme. The memeist meme to ever meme. “Can i be your meme dealer?”

-Pranks for days. Lazy ones that are generally the classics, but relatively good ones. He gets into prank wars with his brother a lot.

-Pretty damn smart honestly. Has an interest in quantum physics and other complex topics that would leave a lot of people in existential crisis.

-philosophy’s pretty cool, and has an overwhelming knowledge on it. He’s a classic nerd about this learning these things.

-lots of podcasts. It seems to be the only audio he has on his phone. Except for the incidental music with a few meme songs. He has rick rolled his brother a number of times. It never gets old. His favorite is Allstar by Smashmouth.

-very calm aura about him. He’s relatively chill and nice to be around overall.

-Tol bean too, 6 feet tall. Height doesn’t mean a whole lot to him, but if you’re short he will sometimes use your head as an armrest as a joke. He doesn’t do it a lot, just when he wants to annoy you.

-falls asleep random places. He’s an insomniac too and can’t seem to get ahold of a schedule or routine. So he’s always pretty tired.

-talks in his sleep. Full conversations with whoever it is in his dream. He likes to hear about what he said when he was asleep, it’s pretty funny to hear the weird things.

-walking talking shitpost, 100% on purpose. He’s got a great sense of humor. He is not always able to say everything with a straight face though and if he thinks of a shitpost kind of idea he may start wheezing and confuse everyone around him.

-smokes. Calms his nerves, but is trying to find a better replacement since his brother hates it so much. So far no such luck.

-has been picked up and dropped into the bathtub by his brother. He turned on the shower head, scaring the shit out of Honey Bear. it was always freezing.

-always cold for some reason, he wears a hoody all the time for good reason. Maybe he should put on pants instead of cargo shorts but that meant effort and so he was going to deal.

-he struggles with depression, which generally ends with him staying in bed binge watching netflix to forget his problems. His brother brings him food so he doesn’t forget to eat. There was a day he’d come home on one of his bad days and found he hadn’t eaten anything but honey.

-libraries are nice. If he’s not home or at muffet’s he’s at a library. They know him by name now. He reads for a while but eventually falls asleep. The library is nice and relaxing so it happens a lot. The staff know to wake him up an hour or so later. The poor guy needs the sleep.

-weirdest ringtones for people. Like my guy. What the fuck? If asked about it he’ll simply grin.

-ducks seem to really like him. He’s been followed home from the park by a flock of ducks before. He doesn’t really care if they follow him.

-his room stays clean since Sassberry likes to raid his room when he’s on a cleaning rampage.

-has a bazillion blankets and 2 pillows. That’s it. Sassberry stays away from the tangled ball of blankets on his bed unless it’s time to wash the bedding. If it is he quickly replaces the bedding for him so Honey Bear doesn’t freak out. Not having enough blankets makes him panic, and is one of the few things that gets such a strong reaction from him.

-a blanket hog. He’s cold and generally wraps himself in a cocoon when he sleeps. He’s pretty much accepted it at this point.

-loves watching disney movies with his brother. They seem to be more for him than Blueberry though, he hasn’t quite realized that though. He loves Princess and the Frog, Brave, and Mulan best. The heroines remind him of his brother a little bit.

-very reactive to movies actually. He was sobbing at the end of Toy Story 3 and Sassberry had to hold him while he cried.

-Honey Bear owns like 50 pairs of crocs just because of Sassberry’s reaction to them.

Sassberry

-relatively very cheerful demeanor. He’s very excitable.

-not a child. Treat him as a child and he will leave the premises dead silent. A cashier checking him out had treated him that way once and he walked out of the store, leaving Honey Bear behind to pay for the groceries. He avoids that cashier at all times.

-You’re a fool if you think he’s innocent okay. You’re going to get fucking played, and will see how far he can push you. Honey Bear tries his best to get him to stop but sometimes, he’ll just let him do what he wants. This is usually with the people he doesn’t like a whole lot.

-Gets into prank wars with his brother. He’s very mischievous and so it’s a perfect way for him to let off some steam.

-always nice until provoked. Wanna say that thing about his brother again? Do it, he fucking dares you. He’s prepared to punch you in the face if you do say it again. He’s not very calm and accepting of people trashing his brother’s name. It is his ultimate pet peeve and if you insult his brother he will end all contacts with you.

-Insult him? Okay, he’s not going to take it to heart or at least try not to. Insult his outfit? He’ll insult you right back. He knows he’s adorable and you will not put him down on how he looks.

-He doesn’t tolerate people making mean remarks about other people’s appearance. He will sass them into their grave.

-Adores everything cute. He prefers a lot of women’s fashion and will often wear dresses and skirts too. He looks fucking adorable and you can fight him about this. He adores them.

-His scarf was something he’s had since he was a babybones and is his favorite thing to accessorize with.

-learned about quantum physics and philosophy so he could know what the hell his brother was talking about because holy shit. What the heck are you talking about my guy?

-After learning some of the subjects he found the multiverse theory. He seems to have a blast thinking about other versions of himself. He’s a strong believer in it. “I hope other universe me is having a good day.”

-smol bean. 5 feet tall. He loves tol people though. Short people are precious and when he first meets you where he realizes he’s taller he will get stars in his eyes.

-Tell him something weird and he will probably just roll with it. Have you met his brother? He’s a weird dork. There isn’t a too weird.

-horror is fascinating to him but he’s not a big fan of it. He’s rather casual about watching it, and he never really gets submersed in it where he’s scared.

-restless sleeper. Honey Bear and him have a lot of late night conversations when they can’t sleep.

-Sewing is one of his favorite activities. He makes a lot of things for himself and his brother. A lot of the blankets he has were made by him.

-watches some anime, he really enjoys slice of life and romcom kind of animes. Anything super cute. Magical girls are a big deal too. He watched Madoka Magica with his brother. He has never seen Honey Bear cry so hard.

-tries his hardest to be a pacifist and constantly reminds himself not to punch the people who insult his brother in the face. He has to be better than their poorly dressed ass. But it’s so hard.

-What are those horrible shoes on your feet? Crocs??? W H Y?

-Very loving and nurturing. He loves taking care of people and dotes on the people he loves.

-goes on cleaning rampages when something is bothering him.

-adores music. Music is amazing and he has started to hoard cds. He buys a lot of music from itunes as well but he adores cds too.

-his music is very very widespread and is very open to trying different genres. Once upon getting in the car Honey Bear gave him a weird look because a heavy metal cd started playing once the car turned on. He very awkwardly switched it to some light pop before explaining, “I was angry.”

-used to have a trombone but one day he a monster had rudely slapped it out of his hands because he was terrible at playing it and it was destroyed. Honey Bear and him kept searching Waterfall over the years for stuff but never found another one. He was still learning it at the time, but now he’s forgotten about all of it. He would love to try learning a different instrument though.

Swapfell

Rus

-oh such an anxious boy. He’s doing his best to go about his day but he’s so stressed.

-His brother constantly singing his praise really helps keep him together. He can do this if his brother believes in him. It’ll be okay.

-Scary tol. 6’7 without slouching. He loves small and short people they’re adorable like his brother. If you’re taller than him that’s cool too, you’re just as cool.

-Hiding in his coat forever and always he barely lets it go. It’s big and warm and was a gift from his brother a long time ago to replace his old coat that was falling apart.

-Will hold his brother’s hand if they’re in a crowd or gives him a piggy back ride. Will likely do the same for you if you’re scared of crowds.

-Cooking is amazing like holy shit are you the next gordon Ramsay or something? He has a serious talent for it.

-really likes to cook, he finds it relaxing and he feeds his brother in the process. At the very least he isn’t eating a bunch of junk food and gets a healthy meal.

-Often looks up recipes for something new to try. He’s always trying to figure out a way to make sure his brother is able to eat healthy and enjoy the food at the same time.

-He will admit he’s a bit addicted to greasy foods. He can’t help it.

-His brother is the reason he started drinking barbeque sauce. When he started learning to grill he would douse the meats in barbeque sauce and that was when he discovered his love for it. He’s happy his brother still makes it the exact same way.

-he likes science though he’s never really focused on one field and hasn’t had the time to sit down and go through it.

-What is sleep? Ha ha ha… The poor boy is so anxious he has issues sleeping. He has to check on his brother at least 5 times in the night before he’s able to settle in. he’s a worry wort.

-music really helps him calm down, classical seems to do the best. He seems to gather rather haunting melodies in his collection though, so expect to find nothing but spoopy sounds.

-he can’t handle horror movies. It’s too much. Luckily his brother is the same way so they stay away from it pretty easily.

-horror movie ads terrify him significantly. He has to mute and click on a different tab until it’s past.

-he loves his brother so much, he low key worships him but it goes both ways between the two. They genuinely adore each other.

-touch starved. Anyone up for affection he is going to take advantage of that.

-Cuddles for days. Has zipped his brother up in his hoody and carried him around all day. It was very therapeutic for the both of them.

-craves praise and compliments. Him and his brother like to have sessions where they shower each other in compliments to help ease each other’s anxieties. Rus always ends up crying and it ends in cuddles. Please love this boy.

-has crippling depression similar to Classy Bean besides his anxiety. On bad days they just have leftovers or Scaryberry cooks.

Scaryberry

-So loud. Volume control does not exist. He’s not trying to fix it, he wants to be loud.

-smolest smol. 4’5 you will likely be taller than him. Don’t mention his height it makes him angry.

-seems like he’s always angry but he’s not he’s just a very rough and aggressive person.

-is childish because he doesn’t really like being an adult. Adulting is hard. He prefers his more childish demeanor over being overly serious.

-tantrums are just a show. He only uses them to draw attention and make the person he’s angry with panic about causing a scene. He’s a drama queen and life is his stage.

-puns are something he does like. They’re clever to him, but he will cringe at the shittier ones. You can do better than that.

-Anxiety. It’s everywhere. He has social anxiety, so he doesn’t like meeting new people without his brother around. Crowds are the worst. They’re so very loud and not in the good way, there are too many voices and it’s overwhelming. He’ll go into a panic attack.

-After becoming official friends with him, he will try to test what he can get away with. If you’re a bit of a doormat or pushover he will choose not to walk all over you later and try to defend you from being pushed around by others. If you don’t let him get away with jackshit then he’s relatively happy. He thinks it’s a very good trait to have.

-constantly tries to get his brother a scarf like his because he thinks he’d look cool in them. He hasn’t picked one out yet. There are too many unworthy of his brother.

-very opinionated. He will likely get into silly arguments with you like how to eat certain foods.

-he cannot cook. He can’t boil water at all, and he’s aware of how awful his cooking is. His brother generally takes care of it though and he adores his food.

-constant praise of his brother and friends. He loves giving compliments. He wishes he got more himself. He just wants affection is that so hard to ask?

-Says the weirdest things and his brother is often found doubled over laughing from it. He’s an energetic odd ball and he loves that.

-platonic cuddles are accepted and often times he will cuddle his friends when he desires affection. He gives gentle headbutts to get their attention to demand the affection.

-His brother is amazing and strong and you will never be able to tell him otherwise.

-He’s tough! He’s strong! He can handle anything!!!... okay maybe not horror movies BUT OTHER THAN THAT… Okay dogs are kind of scary… so are dolls, they seem suspicious… He’s not scared of no thing though! Whatever it is he’s trembling don’t make him do this. Quickly give him an out.

-he adores musicals! He can’t get enough of them. He loves Heathers, Hamilton, and Sweeney Todd so far, but his all time favorite is Phantom of the Opera. You’ll often hear him humming the music from Phantom of the Opera to himself.

-can’t cook but can do barbeques. He doesn’t get it but he rolls with it. He’s a grill master. He likes he’s good at something besides cleaning. It makes him feel more useful.

-loves sweets and junky foods. Hates vegetables. Will only eat them in a certain way.

-hates cleaning but will do it because he hates a dirty house more.

-has days where his energy is relatively low and he doesn’t do anything. He’s going to binge watch every musical he has and hang out with his brother.

Horrortale

Sugarskull

-The sweetest of all the skellies. Like liquid sugar.

-Not fond of his appearance but it is what it is. He can’t really fix it, so he decides not to dwell on it too much. Though upon reaching the surface finally it starts to bother him more.

-he doesn’t like scaring people and it’s hard to understand what part of him is scary looking so he can fix it. He doesn’t need to fix anything, he’s a sweet boy through and through.

-His bones ache a lot from the abuse he’s been through from Undyne. He tries not to let it bother him but sometimes he has a bad day where the pain is worse. Seems like it can get worse because of the weather, so he tries to keep an eye on the weather channel so he can plan around it. It works pretty well.

-Got new clothes after reaching the surface so he doesn’t wear his blood stained ones anymore. He figured out that it probably was unsettling and was quick to change it. He noticed a change which made people more willing to interact with him. He was overjoyed by the small step in progress.

-His clothes have a lot of variety but he has more pastel colored clothes than anything. They make him feel warm and fuzzy looking at them, and they’re so gentle. He also has every soft sweater he could find.

-Still holds on to his old stained clothes, but keeps them folded up nicely and kept in a box in his closet. His scarf luckily wasn’t stained so he keeps it on at all times.

-has an interest in action figures and stuffed animals. Stuffed animals are super soft and the action figures are neat.

-He cried when he first was introduced to a grocery store. There was so much food.

-also how he made his first friend. The grocery store was locally owned and the woman who owned it noticed him crying. She helped him calm down before checking him out herself. She threw in some extra things she noticed him eyeing for free. The woman hadn’t heard his story but recognized someone who struggled with starvation.

-the store now knows him by name, and is sure to send him any coupons they can get a hold of, a curtsy of the owner. He feels lucky to have such a good friend, and gives him hope for making other friends.

-extremely tol bean. He’s 8 feet tall. He hopes you don’t mind him picking you up. It’s easier on him to do that so he can be eye level with you. If not he will crouch down, even if it really hurts to do so.

-he has some paranoia when it comes to night time. It’s quiet and dark. He doesn’t like it. He is quick to find a solution though to fill in the silence. He plays soft nature sounds in his room to help him go to sleep. If that doesn’t work, he goes downstairs and sleeps on the couch after turning on the tv. He needs some sort of white noise or he’ll be anxious and unable to sleep the entire night.

-nightmares aren’t uncommon. He can’t remember them when he wakes up but his panicked state always confirms with him that he’d just had a bad dream. It takes a bit to calm down, he usually makes some tea to help his nerves.

-when he learns about cooking shows he’s ecstatic. There was an entire channel about cooking????????????? His eyes just light up. He learns some neat things from the channel but overall just enjoys learning about all sorts of foods humans have. There were so many. Sometimes he cries because he realizes that he’s able to make them if he really wanted and didn’t have to scrounge for food.

-he watches a lot of tv. Just about anything that makes him curious. He would read but it’s a little harder for him to get anything across to him sometimes. He can read it just find but comprehension seems to escape him. It’s such an off and on thing he just prefers not to read so he doesn’t get overly frustrated.

-has become more optimistic again after moving onto the surface. There’s a sky, there’s food, and he has his brother. He’s grateful for these things. He knows him and his brother have room for improvement though. They would heal in time, and even if they couldn’t completely go back to the way things were before, they at least had each other for the rough days.

Axe

-it’s probably the roughest on him for the move to the surface. The only person he really trusts is his brother. Interactions with other people are awkward and strained.

-doesn’t like being asked about what happened in the underground. Will leave the conversation as fast as he can. That’s a can of worms he ain’t letting anyone open.

-pretty irritable when he’s uncomfortable. The surface is really different and it’s a lot to process for him. He stays at home mostly until he grows more comfortable to the fact of being on the surface.

-He then starts heading out with Sugarskull to slowly introduce himself to the rest of the world. It’s not so bad when he’s with his brother.

-The local grocery store is heaven, and he gets a conversation with the owner along side his brother. He was surprised she was looking out for him, and it makes things a little easier. He’s happy someone has accepted Sugarskull like this. It honestly takes a load off his mind.

-he starts exploring a little more after that. He enjoys the park a lot. Though he scares a lot of kids. There’s always a few weird ones that come talk to him and ask him nosy questions.

-Seeing the sky still kind of shakes him, like holy shit suddenly grounded. This is real. This isn’t a dream. He needs to sit down for a few hours.

-watches a lot of tv with Sugarskull. There is a lot of interesting channels and reading seems to be a lot harder for the both of them now. They’d been pretty avid readers but now books were more frustrating than anything.

-Axe still tries to read at times though. He wants to look more into science again, remember the stuff he loved about it. It’s all a hazy memory now. The books don’t help though.

-Axe remembers his love when him and his brother stargaze one night, and he feels a surge of adoration for the stars again. Oh, he’s crying shit. His brother hugs him and wipes his tears away. He’s as understanding as ever.

-Youtube is a gift from the gods. Axe is able to dive back into science because of it due to the science channels.

-he ends up watching a lot of other bullshit too. The videos vary greatly. Sometimes Sugarskull accidentally uses his channel and forgets to log off so there’s a lot of how to videos recommended to him too. He doesn’t care.

-horror movies are a no go. He’s had enough of that in real life, and doesn’t let it go anywhere near Sugarskull. That would be too much for the both of them.

-horror games are okay for him though. It feels like it’s a safe way to get out his frustrations. As long as he gets to kill things. That’s about the only kind of games he’ll be comfortable. He’s done a lot of shit but he doesn’t need any of that psychological horror shit. He’s fucked up enough as it is.

-tol bean. He’s 6 feet tall. He’s shocked to find he’s on the tall side for humans. This is different. He’s used to people being taller but now he’s tall too. This is actually a really nice feeling.

-morbid sense of humor, he really can’t help it. He’s actually funny as hell but holy shit are his jokes wrong as hell.

-cracking jokes eases his discomfort, and is able to adjust a little better hearing someone actually laugh at his jokes. You’re weird. That’s cool.

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letterstotheinsanme · 7 years

Text

August 6th 2017

After today I wont be journaling for awhile I assume, I plan to have people I can talk to about things, including my Bri. So heres one last entry.

Its almost once and a lifetime when you feel as though you are on the eve on the most important journey of your life. I can only imagine this is how you feel the day before your wedding, im sitting here just absolutely ecstatic and terrified at the same time. Im looking down from a cliff into a wide unexplored ocean, knowing as I fall one last time, there is never going to be looking back.

I know there wont be easy days all the time, most likely the majority will be very difficult for me, seems to be a recurring trend for me. There will be momentary trips into darkness, but I believe God is faithful and wont let me go too far again. I know I will have days where the anxiety will be crippling, the depression unbearable. I know there will be days where trust will be given as freely as water in the desert. Yet, i know everyday of pain will undoubtedly be worth every second if it means I take this journey with Bri towards our goals. God has seemed to ordain it every step of the way. Every mistake has led us back together. In a world filled with billions of people, in a city of thousands. If that isnt fate then I dont know what is. We both know know that we’ve been to hell multiple times, yet always our hearts yearn for each other. We’ve been doubted, talked ill of, worked against and pulled apart by people that are close to us. But yet again, nothing has stopped this. Against unbearable odds, here we are again. One night away from forever.

I can feel the weight of tomorrow, not in the 50/50 of whether or not it will be a good night; but the weight in knowing this is our last first date. I have a truth: That we are going to be hand in hand for the rest of our lives. Though so much will stand in our way, I have full faith that in the failures, harsh words, big fights, mistakes and hard nights that God will be there to guide us.

Briana,

I wrote all of these journal posts for me. But now that ive come to the other side of this time apart ive also noticed theyre for you too. I want you to see everything, the bad nights and the small victories but also the fact that the choice for you to take your time was the best decision you could have ever made. Not only does distance make the heart grow fonder, but it makes you reevaluate the reason you are distant. Though there has and probably always will be alot of guilt, I have weighed the reason.

I’ve used so many words to show my affection for you, i feel as though every time I do it again you just see the same words over and over. I hope they keep their charm for you years to come, because I’m going to be around for a long time. I’ve weighed the reason, and the reason isnt for you to make me whole, or make me love myself. The reason is because God put me in your life to love you as unconditional as a broken man can. To raise children with you to love Him and themselves, free of as much pain and suffering we went through. We will fail, but we’ll make up for it in love and care. The reason is that though we arent always 110% compatible, you are the perfect woman for me. I will choose you everyday for the rest of my life. You have consistently captured my heart no matter what stage of life im in. When I was a stupid boy who thought he’d take a girl out just because she was so cute and funny. When I was crying on a park bench fighting my heart from falling for you. When I was at war with myself and you always stayed close and held til it passed. When you learned another dark part of my past. When I had thought you left for good and a single letter changed my heart. When God slapped me across my face for ruining everything; and now, a recovering asshole who’s holding onto Jesus like a lifeboat in a storm.

Tomorrow, i want to slowly win your heart again. I want to show you the love that you deserve. You deserve to be told your beautiful everyday, to be held when youre sad, to be supported in your dreams, to be built up when others try to tear you down, to be listened to because what you say matters, to be shown priority over everything in my life, to be trusted even in the hardest times, and finally to be secure in the fact that I will never leave. Alot of people have left in your life, your dad, friends, boyfriends, family, and regrettably me. But out of all those people I wont be leaving. Youre stuck with me now whether you like it or not.

So heres to the future fights, movie nights, glasses of wine, Harry Potter games, blanket forts, pillow beds, driving crazy, holding hands, all the kisses, every hug, the pain, the hard nights, the nights we’ll never forget, and lastly to the beginning of a new chapter in our beautifully written story.

I will love you til’ the end of time Babe

- Josh

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comicteaparty · 6 years

Text

February 14th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on February 14th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST. The chat focused on Earth in a Pocket by Jabbage.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Earth in a Pocket by Jabbage~! (http://earthinapocket.spiderforest.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

perhaps not a full scene, but im really fond of this page in general http://earthinapocket.spiderforest.com/comic/2019/01/22 where the socio economic development stuff is broken down. theres just something so elegantly simple about how its shown. not to mention i appreciate the injection of humor, because i think it makes everything really grounded.

Delphina

The badger page is perennially endearing (http://earthinapocket.spiderforest.com/comic/2018/08/11), but I also like the most recent one where Little One is encouraging Halisi to be proactive and set up some long-term solutions for herself: http://earthinapocket.spiderforest.com/comic/2019/02/05

RebelVampire

im really curious why she thought of badgers at all. unless she had the badgers badgers mushroom song stuck in her head. XD

Delphina

@Jabbage please make that canon

Jabbage

makes it so

(Hi! I'm going to be here for a little while! :D)

RebelVampire

thanks for coming, Jabbage!

Jabbage

I figure that if you're on a road trip with a small child who is prone to ask a billion questions, eventually you're going to end up talking about badgers

Delphina

I just really appreciate how even after all she's been through, Halisi still has so much love and passion for her studies, and it's what she reaches to when she's looking for ways to console Little One and solutions for herself.

Kabocha

Hmmm, my favorite scene probably was the Witch bottle explanation http://earthinapocket.spiderforest.com/comic/2018/08/15 It was a good bit of information I hadn't really been aware of :D I also just... enjoy her interactions with the little jellyfish - even though she's in a bad spot, she's still taking time to tell him stories.

RebelVampire

i like the element of logic there is to it too. like she's not panicking, but using what she loves to calm herself down in a way. and i think thats a really great showcase of her character without needing to be told shes like that.

its a characterization via the action versus the telling

mathtans

Here for now, the little one seems extra fussy tonight. Yes, I call my baby daughter the little one. So comic was a bit surreal.

RebelVampire

hi math!

at least your little one isnt old enough to ask yet "are we there yet?"

Kabocha

Right? I mean, she could have just given in, accepted that she might die here... But nah. And she's still kind, even though this entire situation is awful

mathtans

The Witch bottle thing reminds me, I liked the way the art moved through the centuries on that one page, but with people who looked kinda similar. I thought that was clever.

True. Little one could save us some time by specifying what her issues are though. ^.^

RebelVampire

ironically though another of my favorite scenes is the one where halisi sets up the signal and kind of ditches her new jellyfish child to just go despairingly collapse in front of it. i like this brief moment of her giving into despair cause theres something really raw about it. like at first she doesnt say anything even, and i think it makes it really powerful because the silence just adds this immense weight to the sorrow. you know shes super suffering for that moment and feeling the weight of everything finally hit her.

Delphina

Yeah, the comic does a good job of showing a lot of conflicting emotions(edited)

mathtans

Yeah, honestly the very opening was a heck of a kick in the pants. Like, I have no idea what I'd do in that sort of situation. It's very problematic.

RebelVampire

yeah theres def a lot of stressful situations. but i kind of appreciate the lighter moments. like her trying to start a fire but ultimately failing. i mean its kind of scary and sad for her survival, but the way its handled is still pretty funny

also that moment where shes trying to fix the machine at the beginning and it just flat out basically bursts into flames XD

Jabbage

I'm pleased to hear that! I'm always aware that it could be quite a bleak story, but I want it to ultimately feel hopeful and positive, so the silly moments are important for that!

kayotics

I also liked the badger scene, but I think the scene that had the most prominence for me is when she finds out that someone else landed on the planet 80 years ago

i think that scene really set in how dire her situation is

khkddn

the portrayal of emotions really is great. it's really interesting to see someone going through such a crisis and only surrounded by beings who can't relate at all

Delphina

Oh god yeah, and the aliens just going "Something happened to the human we don't know what cause death isn't a thing that happens here???" was scary.

kayotics

"it's hibernating!"

G (Title Unrelated)

I felt something in the scene right after where they tell her dad "we haven't heard from her yet"

Delphina

collective tentacle shrug

kayotics

yeah i really feel for her dad

this isn't a scene, but I appreciate that all of the characters are middle-aged or older

RebelVampire

agreed. but i appreciated the realism of the ppl on the other line being like "meh its probably fine my dude" to the dad. cause that really uses reader knowledge to an advantage to create sympathy for him. because we know its not fine, and that he is right to worry. and that makes it sad hes the only one worried in that moment.

G (Title Unrelated)

Yes I agree

kayotics

Also agreed. It's a good example of dramatic irony

RebelVampire

although i like the most recent page with the followup where hes basically enlisted an army of students to find her. abuse of power, probably. but makes him the sweetest dad? yes.

QUESTION 2. Much of the comic revolves around Halisi telling stories based on things in her pocket. Which of Halisi’s stories impacted you the most and/or taught you something new? What do you think is to be gained from Halisi telling these stories to an alien race with no real connection to humanity? How do you believe the stories and knowledge she has might help contextualize her current situation for her? What, to you, does it mean to have “Earth in a Pocket?” Further, if you were in Halisi’s position, what objects would you pick in 10 seconds to represent the sum of human existence? Lastly, what other cultural or past history aspects do you think Halisi might bring up? How might they be contextualized to add a new viewpoint to Halisi’s situation?

Delphina

I liked the Dancing Plague story a lot http://earthinapocket.spiderforest.com/comic/2018/08/06

RebelVampire

this is the point where i say the witch bottle scene. I think it was beautifully illustrated, and as a story it was not a cultural thing i was aware of. but i like how suitable and unsuitable it was for the situation. but overall it just made me think about humans are weird and can make fear out of nothing at all if the minds decide it to be so.

unless the plot twist is there really was a witch in that bottle

ive always found the dancing plague fascinating because again, humans be weird. minds play tricks.

khkddn

the witch bottle scene is kind of like a story about the power of storytelling, pretty fitting i think

the idea of a witch meant so much to people, like how halisi's stories mean so much to the jellies

G (Title Unrelated)

so she's got a single seed, too, which is also super symbolic

kayotics

I really like the agriculture story, because, like it was mentioned before, it was very concise, but also it shows a lot about Halsi's personality and what she thinks is important about understanding humans on a basic level

mathtans

Back. Know what you can't do when you have a little one? Have a life sometimes. >.<(edited)

G (Title Unrelated)

I wonder what kind of seed it is

RebelVampire

oh man what if the seed wasnt even food. like she winds up growing a rose bush or something XD

mathtans

I was going to say, one of my fave moments was actually comedy, when Halisi first goes off with the inhabitants, thinking about ditching them, and they're all "we can see the thoughts".

RebelVampire

i appreciate the jellyfish didnt just ditch her at that point. cause i would not be as forgiving as them XD

mathtans

And yeah, the hope and sudden crash of the human who was there before was powerful too.

Delphina

I hope it's like... a nice fruit tree. She seems like she could use a nice fruit tree.

mathtans

The framing of the witch bottle scene was cool too. With the whole "not helping me be less afraid" thing (and asking for that term).

kayotics

i just really like the little jellyfish aliens, because they're written in a way that's much less human-centric. I like aliens that are just kind of weird for being weird and don't follow human conventions.

mathtans

Though props for the "pot-reon" in the agriculture bit too.

RebelVampire

yeah im really appreciating the jellyfish for that reason. theyre a nice blend between humanistic traits while still being super alien. its always nice to see when theres kind of a basic gap of understanding where the way each species thinks is quite different

anyway, for me personally though, while she does literally have some of earth in her pocket, i think earth is more about the stories that have traveled with her. because oral traditions reach immensely far back and is the main platform by which we teach and learn about ourselves as a species. so imo they are more representative of humanity than the objects. thus how she can fit earth in a pocket, even though she doesnt need the pocket.(edited)

G (Title Unrelated)

Yeah, I think you nailed it!

mathtans

Also, random question/thought. Halisi didn't have to dig too deep to get "well" water (I liked that one too)... yet was able to bury a guy? The water must be specific to locations or something?

Agreed on the alien-ness people have been speaking about.

G (Title Unrelated)

I mean it's an alien planet

mathtans

Good point about the traditions, Rebel. She's her own pocket.

It helps that she mostly just has to think things rather than even speak them aloud too.

Jabbage

AHAHA yeah, I realised that after drawing it. It's on a list of things i might tweak one day, although I do also like the idea that it is just an alien planet and it's strange and unpredictable like that. So much of our own planet would seem strange and random if we didn't understand a little bit about it's geology, the water cycle etc.

kayotics

on that note i like the idea of halsi going around trying to find ground that doesn't immediately fill up with well water

"okay let's try this spot. Hm, nope, that filled up. can't bury him here"

G (Title Unrelated)

haha!

RebelVampire

yeah it didnt particularly stick out to me just cause i wrote it off as like a change in elevation or something like that. but basically alien planet does alien things XD

mathtans

Fair point.

Could just drag dirt over from another place too, though I guess it would be raised more then.

kayotics

I think if it needs to be tweaked in the future, Jabbage, you could always just change it to a mound rather than a hole. same concept but it avoids going below the dirt

mathtans

Fixes the w"hole" thing.

G (Title Unrelated)

also digging a hole IS hard work

Jabbage

Yeah, or using rocks

kayotics

digging is a lot of work

mathtans

Also whistling while you use rocks, to get rock music.

I'll stop.

kayotics

if she plants that seed she may have to make a mound for that too, it would probably get too waterlogged otherwise

mathtans

I wonder if the soil has the right nutrients.

RebelVampire

yeah i was thinking that too

that her next challenge is finding a not well spot for that seed

cause unless its a crop that specifically needs to be waterlogged, shes gonna have a bad time

mathtans

The jellyfish said the mushrooms could talk, right? Maybe they know a place.

Does rice have seeds?

G (Title Unrelated)

I think if the planet has breathable air it might have a similar balance of elements and whatnot to earth?

kayotics

i think most rice is planted from splitting an existing plant, but i'm sure there's a seed that starts it all

Delphina

What do the jelly aliens taste like

kayotics

DELPHIE NO

Delphina

MAYBE THEY GROW BACK OR SOMETHING

Jabbage

Whether or not the mushrooms can talk is a fun thing that's not really ever going to get expanded on, but which I had in mind for how the jellies work. I figure that they don't have many ways of getting external sensory information about the world - no eyes, ears, sense of smell etc. They are psychic though, they share thoughts and ideas and information about the world. I figure that the mushrooms have some kind of consciousness and run through the planet, and the jellies can draw from that somehow to orientate themselves and know what's going on

G (Title Unrelated)

that's what I kinda assumed!

I mean, that is basically how forests work on earth. XD

RebelVampire

so basically the mushrooms can function as gps

Jabbage

@Delphina ~ I mean I'm sure Big One has some spare limbs... ~(edited)

mathtans

Oh, wow. Cannibalism-like issue didn't occur to me.

Jabbage

Me neither honestly

mathtans

I think the jelly was a bit broken and said she'd regenerate over time...?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Story wise, the comic deals with Halisi crash landing on an alien planet and all but being stranded. Do you believe Halisi will learn to farm with the little she managed to salvage and find a way to survive? What obstacles might prevent such an excursion on the planet? How will Halisi deal with the obstacles? Further, how do you think Halisi will deal with managing her mysterious illness, and what is she sick with for that matter? How might her actions be hindered or helped by the native alien life? In what ways do you think her actions will change how the alien life lives their own lives? Finally, do you believe that Halisi will be rescued at some point? If so, how will this come about?

mathtans

I like the mushroom consciousness idea.

RebelVampire

i do think the jelly child said as such.

G (Title Unrelated)

Q3: These are... all questions I have, myself. XD

mathtans

That illness thing is probably the immediate concern. Withdrawal itself is an issue, whether the pills were life saving or not

G (Title Unrelated)

I was wondering if they were antidepressants or something

RebelVampire

yeah for all the optimism in this plan, the pills are gonna be problematic. but i did wonder if they were antidepressants

khkddn

the flashback scene after she takes her last pill makes it seem to me like she was waiting for medical test results

kayotics

it's also a future time, so it could be a pill that prevents a life threatening disease from spreading.

mathtans

That's a good thought. The whole not accomplishing anything in her life is pretty bleak. Maybe that's a symptom.

G (Title Unrelated)

oh I didn't realize that scene was about her somehow

kayotics

my hope is that she's rescued well before she even needs to worry about this single plant producing any viable food options, since even if the plant grows, it's not likely going to sustain her

G (Title Unrelated)

yeah exactly

RebelVampire

not to mention depending on what plant it is it could take forever to grow. plant growth really varies a lot from crop to crop

kayotics

as for the pills, it seems like her illness has a vague timeline. Like a degenerative disease or something cancerous.

G (Title Unrelated)

P.s., I want some rainbow space maize.

RebelVampire

yes i second this

rainbow space maize for everyone

mathtans

It's a maize-ing.

khkddn

a few pages after she takes the pill she wonders "why are red pills better stimulants" and the pill she took was red. but then again if it were antidepressants i would expect a flashback that looked more like a therapists office than a doctor with results

Jabbage

Oh gosh I don't want to interrupt all the amazing discussion about Halisi's mysterious malady but I was so pleased to find out that there's actually multicoloured corn like that

I thought I made it up for a gag but it's reaaaaaal

kayotics

i have the link, if you'd like it

khkddn

oh i love the corn page

kayotics

https://www.sciencealert.com/this-rainbow-corn-is-the-coolest-way-to-eat-your-veggies (rainbow corn)

mathtans

It wasn't too corny.

kayotics

Honestly? corn, rice, and wheat would all be things I'd say should be brought to an earth colony.

G (Title Unrelated)

yeassssst. XD

unless there's naturally occurring yeast.

Man, we don't even know what it would be like to visit another living planet

RebelVampire

if we have rainbow corn, clearly were meant to go into space right now.

thats a good catch with the red pill, @khkddn

i actually hadnt paid attention to the pill color

mathtans

As to the question of Halisi being rescued, I foresee two possible outcomes. First, that she's found still alive, and she's learned enough about the planet natives to further space research or something, or second, that she's found dead, but the natives were so taken by her stories that her name will live on forever in the history books of first contact.

G (Title Unrelated)

I didn't associate the pill color musing with her situation but maybe it IS related!

RebelVampire

though i leave it open shes on some sort of mental health related medicine, i do feel its more likely its a degenrative disease of some sort. cause it makes her wanting to go to space make more sense. cause i feel its one of those things where youd be more willing to do it if you knew that you had a shorter time than most to live

math no, that second one is too dark

although not implausible

khkddn

if halisi is not reunited with her dad at some point i'll be so sad

or at least they speak to each other

Delphina

Yeah, I'm just gonna say I don't think Halisi's gonna make it back to Earth. I think we're probably looking at a "she finds peace and purpose with the remaining time she has" situation.

RebelVampire

im gonna believe in the rescue efforts cause her dad seems to be a determined dude. and tbf they probably know her flight path so unless she was super duper off course they can probably guess a reasonable area she might be.

mathtans

I don't know that it's necessarily dark... it's kind of a happy end, just not for Halisi.

Also, maybe the pills help her speak. But that's a thing she won't need with the jellys.

I do think that receiving a message from an 80 year old spacecraft is probably something worth investigating.

RebelVampire

thatd be mighty convenient. tho in some au shed get so used to the psychic stuff shed go back to live among humans and be like "oh shit thats right they cant just see my mind pictures"

mathtans

That's an interesting point, about readapating to civilization.

Crazy theory time: Eating the mushrooms constantly ends up turning her into a jelly-creature. When the humans arrive, they won't recognize her.

RebelVampire

i do think shell have some affect on the jellies though. cause i think at the very least shes gonna teach them the important of oral traditions and theyll start telling their own stories and collectively grow as a species. i think shes really setting the jellies on the path for this.

LOL

i was thinking earlier about what if the mushrooms are semi psychic cause thats what happens to the jellies when they die

they dont die and just come back as the mushrooms

mathtans

Ooooh, that'd be an interesting twist.

Like maybe Halisi gains some psychic powers too.

(Though we may have ended up back at cannibalism...)

G (Title Unrelated)

not to shoot down anyone's fun speculation, but it doesn't seem like that kind of story, tbh. XD

kayotics

haha

we don't even know if the jellies can die i mean, I'd think they would, since they apparently come into existence somehow

mathtans

Also they haven't overrun the world.

kayotics

maybe theyre very slow at growing

or they just become the water

G (Title Unrelated)

slow-growing seems very likely

mathtans

I figure before they die they just kind of stop transmitting. Maybe run off somewhere. So no one is aware.

(Maybe they're like lemmings?)

G (Title Unrelated)

(that is not how lemmings work, sorry. XD)

mathtans

(I would worry if lemmings could read my thoughts.)

G (Title Unrelated)

(the suicidal lemmings myth was created by disney)

mathtans

shakes fist at mouse

G (Title Unrelated)

(or did you mean something else lol)

mathtans

I free associate. I mean what you want me to mean.

RebelVampire

yeah ive been wondering if the jellies are immortal. although ya know what, we have immortal jellyfish on earth so thats not that ridiculous to imagine.

kayotics

man, jellyfish are messed up

mathtans

There can be only one! hands out swords

kayotics

i can only imagine that the Jellies in earth in a pocket feel the same too. I was able to touch the bell of a couple at an aquarium once and man, that was a weird feeling

G (Title Unrelated)

I've been watching PBS Eons on youtube, I wonder if they've done one about the origins of cnidarians yet...

RebelVampire

honestly im putting money on immortal just cause they didnt even know what death was. unless they do die and just dont understand the hibernating jellies are never coming back

QUESTION 4. One topic resounding throughout the comic is humanity connecting to the past while also embracing the future and expanding. In what ways do you think reconnecting with humanity’s origins have changed Halisi on a personal level? How might they continue to change her? Why do you think Halisi so strongly believes in bringing the past to humans as humanity expands into space? In what ways do you think she’ll think it will help humanity as a whole? How might Halisi’s experiences on this new alien planet change the way she thinks about humanity’s past? How might it change how she conveys humanity’s past to other humans? Overall, what do you believe the story has to show us in regards to balancing the past, the future, and why both are needed?

G (Title Unrelated)

immortal jellies make for a good contrast to Halisi's fears of her own mortality

mathtans

They can be injured though, like the one who had a thing fall on it. It'd suck to be immortal that way.

RebelVampire

that is true. and contrasts like that are good.

Jabbage

(imma point out, Little One also notes that they're going to get better one day, although Halisi is a bit incredulous about that)

mathtans

The connecting to the past thing makes me think of that society. Which didn't seem to have a lot of members. Also, it took them, what, ten years to decide on things? (I was amused by "say that to my face" because, um, I think that's what the person is doing.)

Delphina

Totally saying, if I had a bunch of tentacle arms that would grow back and my weird human buddy was dying, I'd let her eat a couple to survive.

G (Title Unrelated)

I assume their tentacles don't have stingers. XD

RebelVampire

for me itd depend on how fast theyd grow back. cause if i had to spend like 500 years waiting for tentacle arms to grow back, that doesnt sound pleasant

mathtans

If so, they must have turned the stingers off to crawl around on her.

RebelVampire

they probably wouldnt have stingers cause their planet seems peaceful. like none of the jellies are like "oh no predators who will destroy us" so theres no need for their evolutionary track to lead to stingers in so far as i can see

kayotics

in response to the question: There's a lot of parallels to humans expanding to other planets and our own planet's history of colonization. There's a lot of cultural pain that comes with leaving your home and leaving your country (whether by force or by choice), and reconnecting to that cultural heritage is something that decedents often go through to feel like they belong in the world. I can see that being a driving point for delivering some of these artifacts to other planets.

G (Title Unrelated)

IRL Jellies mostly use their stings for catching prey?(edited)

Delphina

Do we even know if they feel pain?

mathtans

Wait, do they eat?

khkddn

they seem to have difficulty understanding when a human is unhappy or feels pain

kayotics

they might not need to eat in the same way

they might just kind of absorb what they need

Jabbage

I'm not sure it's going to come up specifically, but I think they probably dont' feel pain like we feel it? Just because i don't think they have the same sensory capabilities. Little One is frustrated that they can't move around as fast as the others, but I don't think they're in pain as such

G (Title Unrelated)

yeah. I was thinking about the Question and I think... it's interesting how it's framed as this thing where they've decided the colonists NEED this, but like, they can't agree on what's actually important

mathtans

Maybe Halisi will make a tiny scooter for Little One.

G (Title Unrelated)

I think it's the stories, not the objects, that are important.

And like... All stories are important???

RebelVampire

i think that is true, that all stories are important. cause stories are subjective and whats personally important to one person isnt important to someone else

kayotics

i think a few cultural trinkets to go with the stories can help, like... like I remember being a kid and my family having a christmas wooden carousel from germany or something, which is where my family emigrated from, so it was like "oh that's my people" I think having something to connect to some of the stories is important.

RebelVampire

thus why its worth preserving them all and no agreeance is needed really. because any single story can have an affect on someone

Jabbage

@kayotics I really like your point about our history of colonization, and it's something that I've tried to be careful with and approach thoughtfully, because I think that IS a driving factor in Halisi wanting to share people's cultural heritage with them. One of the things that sparked this story is thinkign about how current issues with repatriating cultural objects and deciding who has control over them would translate into a world where we don't even all live on the same planet any more

Delphina

The beginning showed that humanity has VR technology to "experience Earth", but it's several very comfortable degrees apart. I like that normally, being so advanced would make the hardships of the very distant past feel less real (just vaguely amusing/educational) But having Halisi have to figure out how humans lived and survived kind of brings that back and grounds her in a way that establishing Cookie Cutter Terraform Colony Number 14792 wouldn't.(edited)

So in that sense, the physicality of it is important

RebelVampire

i do think @kayotics has a point. especially in this story because of that vr scene where they were touring the roman thing. cause its not like they dont already have stories and ways to view historical things. and the actual objects can really tie that together. but i also think the stories are just as important via the scene where theyre shown to be able to print 3d objects. in essence the object means nothing without the story, but the story is made more powerful by the object. its a symbiotic relationship in a way.

kayotics

I'm glad it's something you've thought about!

I can't help but think about how colonization has affected the planets that the humans have landed on, and how it'll effect the planet that Halisi has landed on as well, no matter how small.

G (Title Unrelated)

I was thinking about that, too!

mathtans

Maybe she'll want it purged from the records to preserve it. And since Dad was just using grad students, he can oblige.

Jabbage

I thought long and hard about what race to make my astronaut because when they were a random white academic, the whole thing had a very different feel. Landing on some planet and educating the rather silly native denizens. I also wanted someone who grew up around the earliest archaeology created by anatomically modern humans so it made sense to make her black and from South Africa anyway

but then I'm white and British and so... yeah, I've basically had a lot to think about and juggle on that one

mathtans

Jabbage: Well, damn. I hadn't considered that, but you make a good point.

At least she's not building churches and asking the jellys to worship.

Incidentally, speaking of growing up, I liked the flashback image with her and dad looking youthful.(edited)

RebelVampire

im interested in the idea of who has control over the cultural objects we deem important, especially in regards to technology. because the comic touched on it a bit with the 3d printing and it really starts getting into the ship of Theseus issues of identity for those objects

mathtans

"Fax me your statue. No, I'm not paying you for it, I'll display it on Planet X for the Xposure."

Jabbage

And is seeing a reproduction ever 'the same?;

Even if it's identical in every way?

mathtans

Probably not, which is why they haven't figured out teleporters.

kayotics

if it's identical in every way i feel like maybe it is the same

but... wait maybe not

mathtans

Just to sum, pretty grand scale for this one, and a powerful beginning. Here's to Halisi and the Jellies.

Sounds like a strange band name.

RebelVampire

see its a really interesting philosophical question to explore. is whether cultural significance relies on the exact object or if we can transfer that as humanity spreads into the stars

mathtans

(I wonder if we'll learn more about jelly civilization.)

G (Title Unrelated)

Also, what stories do we remember or forget...

kayotics

I feel like there's something to be said about the energy that we as humans put into things. Like there's something there in the reverence we give something. like when you see a giant statue that's been prayed to vs a huge statue to commemorate someone, those have different feelings.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Jabbage, as well, for making Earth in a Pocket. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Jabbage’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: http://earthinapocket.spiderforest.com/

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