#im glad he had that convo with the dad im sure once this is all over they will be able to mock style together | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ericsonclan · 3 years ago

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A Romantic Holiday

Summary: Clementine and the others get ready to celebrate Valentine's Day with their significant others.

Word Count: 1000+

Read on AO3:

Start from the beginning:

“All I’m saying is that a movie and cuddling is a totally valid way to spend Valentine’s Day,” Brody looked back at her friends who all nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, it totally is,” Clementine walked up beside her auburn friend and gave a smile.

“Nothing wrong with that,” Louis jogged forward, immediately intertwining his fingers with Clementine’s. With a gentle sway their joined hands began to move back and forth. Louis’ bright smile faltered when he saw the look on Brody’s face. “Unless you don’t want that to be your Valentine’s Day evening.”

Brody’s eyes grew large for a second before she looked down at her shoes. “It’s stupid. It’s not like Mitch or I have the money to blow on a fancy Valentine’s Day,” Brody gave a sigh. “But I would be lying if I said I didn’t want something more romantic.”

“Then tell him,” Violet’s eyes met Brody’s when she glanced up. “Mitch is a dumbass but he also really likes you so he’d want to make you happy,”

“Violet is right,” Prisha smiled over at Brody. “If you communicate with Mitch then perhaps you can find a romantic date idea that isn’t pricey,”

“Yeah, you guys are right,” Brody gave a shaky sigh then proceeded to take a few deep breaths. “So what are your guys’ plans for Valentine’s Day?”

“A carriage ride through a park. With the snow and each other it will be magical!” Louis pressed a kiss to Clementine’s cheek then spun her around once as a surprise before the two rejoined the group who stopped to wait for them.

“Violet and I are recreating our first ever date and going stargazing with tons of blankets of course,” Prisha wrapped her arms around Violet then looked down at her with a loving smile.

“That all sounds amazing. I just wish I had an idea of what I wan-”

“Well if it isn’t Prisha!” a voice boomed from a short distance in front of them. Brody looked as well as the others, curious who had cut the conversation short. A fairly tall man with a thick, gray, full beard walked forward with a happy smile. Based on his uniform and hat it was clear that he was the sheriff. His jaw was set in such a way that it gave him an aura of sternness but based on the crinkle of joy in his eyes it was clear that he was a good man. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Sheriff Kenny! What a pleasure to see you. What are you doing on campus?” Prisha smiled over at Kenny before a realization struck here. Violet was still within her arms, a sight she wasn’t sure how Kenny would take considering that the only ones who knew of her orientation were the group of friends she had now. Kenny studied Prisha and Violet for a moment. Violet’s grip on Prisha’s arms remained as constant as always as she shot over a pointed look at the sheriff who remained quiet for a few seconds. Violet continued to look at the sheriff with a protectiveness in her eyes until he spoke up.

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend. Good for you,” Kenny tipped up his hat and gave a casual smile.

“Thank you,” Prisha held Violet closer. Violet noticed that Prisha’s tension had lessened quite a bit before it flared up again. “My relationship with Violet, my father...” Prisha’s voice trailed for a second.

“Don’t worry, I won’t go shooting off my mouth about anything. I’m just glad to see you happy. Damn, you sure have grown. I remember the days you would run around the station and pretend to find clues with a copy of some Sherlock Holmes book tucked under your arm,” Kenny’s recounting made Prisha grow embarrassed as she listened to the sheriff share story after story. Louis, Clementine and Brody seemed to be enjoying hearing all these stories that Prisha was sure would be brought up again and she noticed that Violet was also having fun hearing stories about Prisha from before they met.

“Anyways, I’m talking your ears off and I haven’t even asked for any of your damn names.” Kenny sighed apologetically before his eyes focused on Louis for a second as if he had recognized him somehow. “My name’s Kenneth Callaway but you can just call me Sheriff Kenny.”

“Nice to meet you, sir. My name’s Louis and this lovely gal beside me is my girlfriend, Clementine!” Louis smiled over to Clementine who returned it.

“Guess I’m next, I’m Brody,” Brody had a nervous expression on her face, likely due to a mixture of it being a first meeting and that the person she was introducing herself to was the sheriff.

“Nice to meet you all. I picked up on your name already,” Kenny looked over at Violet who gave a short nod.

“Well then, I shouldn’t be taking up any more of your time,” Kenny tipped his hat then turned to leave until a voice called out to him.

“Dad! I didn’t know you’d be on campus!” A young man with short brown hair strolled forward, his pinky intertwined with a person with hazel eyes.

“Hey there, Duck! I was just here to take a look around campus since so much has been going on here lately. Then I ran into Prisha and-”

“Prisha is here!” Duck’s eyes immediately lit up and slipping his pinky free he ran forward. In an instant Prisha was wrapped into a tight hug. “I was hoping I’d see you around campus ever since I started this semester.”

“Duck, you’re hugging me a bit too tight,” Prisha wheezed out before giving an appreciative smile once Duck had let go.

“So, still being a great detective as always? Are you working towards that degree to become a superhero?” Duck smiled brightly at Prisha.

“Well, I’m just becoming a lawyer, not a hero.” Prisha looked away, slightly worried that her eyes or her friends’ would show some sort of sign that they were in fact superheroes.

“Eh, it's basically the same thing!” Duck placed his hands on his hips before a flicker of realization appeared. “Oh, that’s right! I’ve never introduced you to Oakley before!”

Duck ran back and stood beside the person that had been walking with him. They seemed to be completely lost in the simple joy of letting snowflakes fall on their tongue. A small smile was on their lips as a snowflake right on the tip of it.

“This is Oakley, my paramour!” Duck grinned brightly as his pinky wrapped around Oakley’s once more. Prisha’s eyes grew large at that word while Kenny gave a tired groan.

“Son, you could use another word,” Kenny looked over at Duck who shrugged.

“It works for us,”

“But you’re referring to Oakley as your illicit partner. Do you see the issue with that?” Prisha looked at her friend who brushed it off.

“It would be an issue if someone else used it like that but this is different. Anyways, wanna say hi, Knox?”

Oakley stopped in their task for a second then moved their eyes to look at the group. “Hi,” Without another word they soon returned their attention to the sky. Duck didn’t seem to mind though and instead began to get everyone’s names. Soon it was his turn to share old tales involving Prisha: how they would pretend to be heroes around the station and such until one day she had left for Chicago and the two hadn’t really kept in contact until now.

After a while Kenny cleared his throat. “Well, we should be getting out of your hair,” Kenny patted Duck’s back to make sure he got the message too.

“Alright. See you later, Prisha!” Duck gave one final wave then walked off, happily talking with Oakley who listened as they intertwined their fingers. The group watched them for a minute longer before continuing down the path and picking up the conversation that they were having prior to the Sheriff showing up.

Prisha glanced at her phone for a moment. She had some time to kill before she had to start on assignments. Her thumb instantly wandered over towards the Discord app logo and with a quick tap she opened it. As luck would have it the channel she had last been on had begun to pick up with a brand new conversation after Brody and Ruby had finished up their tea talk.

Sing-us-a-song: Wee woo wee woo

BREAKING NEWS

Violet just told me that im her beast friend

Best

Best friend

OrangeuGlad: Congrats!

Bro: wait

Aasim: You are already best friends

Bro: Aren’t you already best friends?

Yeah

Sing-us-a-song: Its official now

Best friends :3

Knife2meetU: Louis

Stop sharing stuff from our private convos in DMs

Sing-us-a-song: Oop

Sorry bestie <3

Knife2meetU: No heart

Sing-us-a-song: Sorry bestie!

Knife2meetU: And no bestie

You’re this close to losing your best friend rights

Sing-us-a-song: Are you sure? Smirk face

There’s no take backs

Knife2meetU: Wanna bet?

Sing-us-a-song: Vi waig

Wait

We’re Bffs!

Thats forever

Prisha watched the conversation continue with amusement when all of a sudden her attention was drawn away from the chat and towards the door. Therissa walked in with a tired groan. Her feet dragged on the floor before she fell onto the couch.

“If I committed murder, would you represent me and get me off scot-free?” Therissa looked over at her roommate with a tired smile. A few strands of her dark brown curly hair fell over her face, covering her eyes.

“Oh? What got you so heated? You’re usually fairly level-headed,” Prisha placed down her phone and walked towards the kitchen area to start some tea.

“I am, but this professor is a total ass. First he praises my writing in his Creative Writing 103 class saying that it’s great but then when the second semester starts and I take Creative Writing 205 then he basically starts telling me it's shit now. It makes no sense and he keeps acting snarky and pissy with me. So now on Valentine’s Day I have a day full of classes, work and a writing tutor because I need to pass this class,” Therissa groaned and sat up when Prisha walked over with two cups of tea.

“Would you want my help on any homework?” Prisha smiled at her friend who accepted the tea gratefully.

Therissa took a long sip before answering. “No, you’re super busy as is. You’re always studying and when you’re not in class you’re rushing around everywhere. I’m surprised you haven’t been passing out recently.”

“Thanks for the compliment,” Prisha’s expression was hidden behind the cup as she took a sip of tea.

“Wasn’t a compliment. I’m trying to point out that you push yourself too much. It’s a good thing Valentine’s Day is the day after tomorrow. Maybe you can finally relax for a day with your girlfriend. Speaking of which, you better have a nice outfit that you're wearing for the date.”

“I am!” Prisha smiled brightly. “In fact, after this tea I can show you it!”

Therissa returned the smile. “Good, then after Valentine’s Day we can return to plotting murder.”

“Sounds good to me.” Prisha took another sip and soon she got caught up in a conversation with Therissa.

“Shit, fuck, shit on the- fuck!” Violet ran over to the heart-shaped bowl that was over a simmering pot of water. The bowl was starting to slip due to the condensation from the heat and the fact that it had been placed poorly over the pot. Luckily Violet had caught it before most of the contents fell into the water. Violet gave a frustrated groan that turned into a hiss when her fingers brushed against the hot metal of the pot. Jerking her hand back, Violet ended up spilling the rest of the chocolate into the water. “Fuck, no!”

“Violet! Are you alright?” Prisha walked forward, the concern clear in her eyes when she saw Violet clutching her hand.

“I’m fine,” Violet could see that Prisha didn’t believe her. Silently Prisha guided Violet over towards the sink and started to run cold water over her fingers. Violet stared at the water for a moment then up at her girlfriend. “This was a fucking stupid injury,”

“It wasn’t. You were just trying to save the chocolate. It’s a shame that you got hurt in the process though,” Prisha noticed Violet’s face fall. “Don’t worry, I’ll help patch up your fingers and you can give the process of making chocolate one more go.”

“I don’t know. I fucking suck at it,” Violet mumbled, her eyes sad until she felt a kiss being pressed to her cheek.

“I beg to differ.” Prisha smiled lovingly at Violet who returned to look until Clementine’s voice drew both of their attention away from each other.

“Why does it look like there’s a pile of shit in the pot?”

“Oh horsefeathers! Did we lose another batch?” Ruby bustled over and huffed with annoyance as she began to clean up the mess.

“Sorry,” Violet’s quiet voice made Ruby glance over, her eyes softening.

“Aww, Sug, don’t worry about it. Luckily Brody had been as worried as ever and overbought on supplies,” Ruby nodded over to Brody who was working on preparing another batch.

“Seems like my anxiousness paid off this time,” Brody smiled at her friends then looked down at the ingredients that would soon make milk chocolate. “Do you think Mitch and the others will like this?” “Are you kidding? Of course they will! Louis is a sucker for sweets and so is Mitch,” Clementine placed a hand on Brody’s shoulder and gave a smile.

“Aasim loves all things romance and besides two of the people that are getting chocolates are with us and both of them have been all worried about making the perfect chocolate,” Ruby sent a teasing look over to Prisha and Violet.

“Well, ‘perfect’ is a strong word. I just want to make good chocolates for Violet,” Prisha messed with her braid for a moment.

“Yeah, what's wrong with not wanting to fuck up?” Violet crossed her arms and looked over at Ruby.

“I don’t think Ruby said it was bad, just sweet,” Brody gave another smile then took a deep breath. “Now let's kick this chocolates’ ass and surprise the guys!”

Clementine and Ruby cheered at that and soon all the girls were working on chocolate once more. It took a few more tries but soon the chocolate was being poured into the molds. After being placed in the fridge for twenty to thirty minutes the chocolates were done and the girls moved to the next step. Each of them worked to put the chocolates into little homemade heart boxes that Brody and Ruby had spent the night before making.

Violet swore under her breath while she worked on her box; Brody seemed to be in no better a boat. Meanwhile Ruby and Prisha had mastered putting together boxes of chocolates. Both of them were tying picture perfect bows on the boxes to seal them. Prisha hummed a happy tune to herself as she finished the final touches. But as soon as the others noticed that she was singing she quieted down. Lastly Clementine gave it her best effort and got a middle of the road result; she didn’t seem to care though. She knew that Louis would love it. Just as that thought had finished a knock came on her front door. Brushing her hands on her pants, Clementine walked forward. Her eyes grew large when she spotted Louis, Mitch and Aasim at the door. “Louis! What are you doing here?”

Clementine’s exclamation made the other girls poke their heads out of the kitchen to see the boys standing in the doorway. Each of them had a clip-on bow tie and a rose in their hands.

“Hello, my darling,” Louis leaned forward and planted a kiss on Clementine’s cheek. “We are here for our early Valentine’s Day surprise!” Louis grinned back at Mitch and Aasim. Mitch felt like his nerves were all over the place as he pulled on his shirt collar. Meanwhile Aasim seemed to be practicing something in his mind, his eyes focused elsewhere. Louis quickly snapped his friends out of their mindset and led the way inside. “We are here to serenade our lovely girlfriends with a barbershop quartet!”

“But isn’t a quartet made of four singers?” Brody walked forward, leading the way for the girls who all filed out to see what song the boys were about to sing.

“Right you are, Bro! Prisha, mind switching sides and completing our quartet?” Louis smiled over to his music confidant.

“I’d love nothing more,” Prisha smiled confidently as she walked forward and accepted a clip-on bowtie and rose.

Louis quickly gathered the three others and played a note for them all to be the same key. Soon the four of them began to sing Just in Time by Frank Sinatra. It was an older song that Violet was sure Prisha had pushed to be the choice for today.

“Just in time, I found you just in time

Before you came, my time was runnin' low

I was lost, the losing dice were tossed

My bridges all were crossed, nowhere to go,”

The four of them sang, each of them using their natural singing octave. Prisha and Louis were by far the best singers while Aasim wasn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination. That left Mitch in last place who clearly couldn’t sing as well as the others but that didn’t stop him from powering through and singing loudly.

“Now you're here and now I know just where I'm goin'

No more doubt or fear, I found my way

For love came just in time

You found me just in time

And changed my lonely life that lovely day,”

The four walked forward towards Violet, Ruby, Brody and Clementine. Each of them looked at their girlfriends with loving smiles. Even though the song wasn’t sung the strongest, the girls could tell that Prisha and the boys were pouring their hearts into the performance despite it being obvious for some this whole thing was overwhelming.

“Now you are here and now I know just where I'm goin'

No more doubt or fear, 'cause I've found my way

For love came just in time

You found me just in time

And changed my lonely life that lovely

Lonely life that lovely

Lonely life that lovely day,”

As the four hit the final note they held out their roses to their respective girlfriends. Louis gave a playful wink Clementine’s way as she accepted the rose before all of his confidence melted away into dorky happiness when Clementine stole a quick kiss. Ruby accepted the rose, her rosy cheeks growing rosier as she got on her tiptoes and showered Aasim with quick, soft kisses. Meanwhile both Brody and Mitch were blushing messes as Brody took the rose and gave Mitch a compliment that made him even more flustered. Both of them tried to find the right words as they held each other’s hands. Soon they each decided it was better to just let their actions speak louder than their words and shared a strong kiss. Lastly, Violet took the rose and knew that her face was as red as the flower.

“I’m glad you enjoyed the quartet,” Prisha smiled at Violet who gave a short nod. The two were silent for a moment before Violet snuck a kiss. The romantic action made Prisha freeze in place for a moment.

“Oh!” Ruby’s voice made everyone look over at her. “We should give the chocolates!”

“Chocolates?” Louis’ eyes danced with excitement at those words and it only grew as Clementine disappeared and reappeared with a box of chocolates.

Soon all of the chocolates had been exchanged to which all of its recipients were extremely happy. Mitch wrapped his arms around Brody from behind and pressed a kiss to her cheek before he grew almost as overwhelmed as Brody by the action. Aasim was happily talking about how much he appreciated Ruby and all the thought she had put in this early Valentine’s Day surprise. Ruby blushed and quickly told him that he had been just as thoughtful if not more. Violet watched nervously as Prisha took a bite of the chocolate and was relieved when Prisha’s eyes sparkled with happiness. Clementine watched her friends for a moment then looked back over at Louis who was gushing about how lucky he was to have a girlfriend like Clementine, especially on Valentine’s Day. Clementine smiled softly and held onto Louis’ hands.

These Valentine celebrations were already going great and it wasn’t even the holiday yet. All of them had knocked it out of the park so far and after hearing the plans for the others Valentine Day dates Clementine was sure tomorrow would be a fantastic day for all of them.

Clementine’s eyes wandered over the map of Ericson University one last time. She had to be sure that there were no rifts opening up. If one appeared while she was busy getting lost in the joy of a date… It couldn’t happen. Luckily when she checked it for the sixteenth time it was the same as it always was. Blank and void of any shimmering blue or red dots. Clementine gave a shaky sigh of relief and tucked it away in her winter coat. Lee and Carley had already headed out, both of them looking giddy at the thought of starting their Valentine’s Day date. Soon after they had left, a babysitter showed up for AJ who was waiting to work on his second Valentine’s card that he wanted to give to Telulah as soon as he could. His foot tapped impatiently as he waited for Louis so that he could say hi before him and Clementine headed out. A few minutes passed of awkward silence and of the babysitter wanting to get AJ to focus on games instead of staring at the door when a knock appeared. Jogging forward, Clementine opened the door and found her boyfriend smiling brightly at her, in his hands a dozen roses.

“Happy Valentine's Day, my darling!” Louis leaned forward and captured Clementine’s lips in a soft kiss.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Clementine reached out and took one of Louis’ hands in hers.

“Are you ready for a magical carriage ride?” Louis smiled at Clementine who gave a short nod.

“Yep,” Clementine glanced back at AJ. “Okay, we’re going to be heading out now,”

“Wait!” AJ scampered forward and skidded to a halt in front of the pair. “You better keep her safe!”

“Will do, little dude!” Louis gave a huge thumbs up at AJ who beamed.

“Oh! And get her back by curf- curvs-”

“Curfew,” Clementine helped her little brother who nodded firmly.

“Yeah! Curfew!”

“Of course! I will make sure Clem is back and safe by curfew. You have a gentleman’s promise,” Louis noticed the happy smile on AJ’s lips at his words.

“Good!” AJ placed his hands on his hips for a second then rushed forward and tackled Clementine with a hug before running back to get started on the fun.

Clementine and Louis shared a smile and quietly laughed as they walked out the door. Clementine looked over at Louis. He was wearing a long brown coat as well as a green scarf that seemed to only add to his adorable winter vibes.“You’re looking cute today,”

Clementine’s compliment made Louis look over with a dorky smile. “Why, thank you! I picked it out myself. Well, that's not entirely true. Marlon helped me pick out this scarf,”

“Well then both of you did a good job picking out your outfit,” Clementine smiled when she saw how happy those words made Louis.

“Awww thanks, but I don’t look half as cute as you,” Louis swung their joined hands then nodded over towards Clementine's outfit. It was a dark blue sweater covered by a black winter jacket that all complemented her fuzzy blue winter hat.

Clementine blushed lightly at the compliment. “Thanks,” She quickly leaned over and pressed a kiss to Louis’ cheek. The two walked happily towards the location of the horse-drawn carriage, sharing as many kiss as they could surprise the other with until they reached the spot.

“M’lady,” Louis held out his hand with a warm smile. Clementine returned the smile and took his hand as he guided her up the steps of the carriage. Soon he was right beside her, immediately handing over the dozen roses. “Are you ready for a romantic carriage ride?” “I was born ready,” Clementine gave a playful smile that made Louis’ nose crinkle with amusement. Sharing one more kiss, Louis gave the signal and the carriage driver flicked the reins, causing the horses to snort before moving forward in a slow trot. Clementine scooted closer and wrapped her arm around Louis’ waist. Louis’ face grew warm and he gently kissed Clementine’s forehead then pulled her closer. Nuzzling his face against the top of her head, he slowly leaned his head against hers and the two took in the beauty of the snow-covered world around them. Both of them commented here and there about how lovely the park was as the carriage moved forward. After a few moments Louis began to hum a tune that Clementine couldn’t place for a moment. It took her a few seconds to pick up what he was singing.

“Are you humming Jingle Bells? After Christmas?” Clementine looked up at her boyfriend with a smile.

“Yes, I am, and there is nothing wrong with that,” Louis grinned down at Clementine and stole a kiss before continuing to hum. Soon his warm tune was joined by a softer voice. Louis glanced down to see that Clementine was joining him in humming. The two began to hum some more then quickly proceeded to sing the song out loud along with any other song that their hearts desired. Both of them looked at each other with joyful, soft smiles. This really was a magical carriage ride.

Ruby stood in front of the mirror and turned this way and that, causing her red dress to sway. Her brows furrowed for a moment before she looked back at Brody who was busy pacing.

“Brody, do you think my dress looks alright?”

Ruby’s voice snapped Brody out of her thoughts and she glanced up. “What? Are you kidding? Aasim is going to lose his mind when he sees you!” Brody stopped her pacing and gave a warm smile to her best friend.

“Yeah, you’re right. I think I’m getting into my own head.” Ruby looked back at the mirror. “Just like you are about your date with Mitch,”

Those words made Brody’s eyes grow large before falling. “It’s stupid. I was so busy the last few days that I didn’t even talk to Mitch about changing our Valentine’s Day plans. It's too late to change them now and besides, he sang for me yesterday which was a really nice surprise.”

“Brody, I don’t think you need to worry your head about this. I’m sure you’ll have a grand time with Mitch,” Ruby looked back at Brody through the mirror, a playful knowingness in her eyes. The sight of that confused Brody and she wanted to ask about it when suddenly a knock on the dorm room door appeared.

“Oh, that must be him!” Ruby bustled over and opened the door, revealing Aasim who was decked out in a suit with a red tie. Tucked in his left hand there looked to be a piece of love poetry based on the seal and the red bow around it.

“Hello, my dove,” Aasim leaned down and gently kissed Ruby. Ruby instantly cupped his face and deepened the kiss before giving two more quick ones.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Pookie,” Ruby took Aasim’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Are you ready to go to the tea shop?”

“I sure am! I heard the tea there is divine!” Ruby smiled up at her boyfriend then glanced back at Brody. “I’m heading out. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” Brody gave a quick wave and after Aasim helped Ruby get on her coat the two disappeared down the hall.

The pair walked in serene silence for a bit, enjoying the winter wonderland that their campus had turned into. They shared small kisses here and there as they walked, placing them on each other’s wrists and hands. Ruby’s rosy red cheeks turned even brighter in the cold of winter which made Aasim’s heart pitter patter happily.

Soon the two had arrived at Sarita’s Tea Shop where the owner welcomed them with a friendly smile. A large man stood beside the owner who they learned went by the name Tripp. He gave a quick kiss to Sarita before guiding Aasim and Ruby to their table. After placing their orders, Aasim and Ruby immediately held each other’s hands.

Aasim looked at Ruby with such tender love as he placed kiss after kiss on her hands. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that I found you. In fact, I tried my best to put into words my feelings for you,” Aasim slipped one of his hands free and held out the love poetry.

“Why, Aasim,” Ruby gently took the gift and slowly began to read it. Her eyes wandered from left to right, reading the words her boyfriend had so lovingly put on paper. With each sentence her heart grew warmer and warmer until she had finished reading. Silently she placed down the paper and leaned forward across the table, kissing Aasim softly. Aasim’s eyes widened for a moment then closed as he deepened the kiss. After a moment the two pulled apart and shared a soft look.

“I’m happy I found you too,”

The two smiled at each other, holding each other’s hands until the tea was brought forward along with the pastries. Tripp silently poured the hot water over a rose blossom in a clear teapot. Slowly the rose bursted open, blossoming and flavoring the tea. Ruby and Aasim stared in awe then shared another smile. This was turning into a truly unforgettable Valentine’s Day.

Brody sat on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Ruby had left a while ago and based on the haphazard text she got from Mitch he was nearly here. It wouldn’t be bad cuddling and watching a movie together. Feeling Mitch’s arms around her, stolen kisses.. Brody covered her face with a pillow as she felt herself grow overwhelmed. Just as she was about to go on another spiral of thoughts, a knock showed up on the door.

Peeking out from behind the pillow Brody got up, quickly readjusting her t-shirt before walking over to answer the door. When she opened the door her eyes grew wide with surprise. There, standing in the doorway, was Mitch in an honest to goodness tux. The dark blue tie was sloppily placed and the suit was a bit too big on him.

Mitch pulled at the collar for a second before he noticed Brody. “Brodes! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Mitch’s voice boomed a bit too loudly as he thrusted out his arm which held a metal trident. Brody blinked in awe of the trident then took it. Slowly her eyes began to examine it. “I thought that a stronger weapon is never a bad thing so I made you one,” Mitch’s eyes were focused on the floor. “It’ll protect you way better than that prop one you had,”

“I love it,” Brody smiled up at Mitch who looked at her with shock then proceeded to pump his fist.

“Yes! Fuckin’ A! I actually didn’t fuck up on Valentine’s Day! Because look!” Mitch leaned over and picked up a soft yellow dress then held it out for Brody. “Ruby helped me pick it out because I’m shit at this sorta thing but you gotta dress up for our plans.”

“Plans?” Brody accepted the dress and held it close to her chest with a soft smile.

“Yeah, it took me fucking forever but I saved up enough money to take you to one of those fancy restaurants, one of those places where you have to dress fancy and shit,”

Mitch’s words made Brody’s mouth open slightly in surprise. She definitely wasn’t expecting this. Silently she placed down the items then got on her tiptoes and pulled Mitch into a kiss. Mitch instantly wrapped his arms around her waist and deepened the kiss. Once they pulled apart the two stared into each other’s eyes.

“I’m gonna go get changed,”

“Okay, I’ll wait out in the hall,” Mitch whispered. Both of their faces were super red as they squeezed each other’s hands and let them slip free. Mitch waited out in the hall, kicking his foot impatiently as he leaned against the wall. After a few minutes Brody emerged from the room in the short, soft yellow dress. Mitch’s mouth hung open for a second.

“Well, do I look okay?” Brody did a small spin.

“You look fucking amazing!” Mitch walked forward and stole another kiss from Brody. Brody hummed at the touch of the kiss then pulled back, her face a bright red.

“Thanks, you look pretty amazing yourself,” Brody’s hands wandered forward and held onto Mitch’s tux for a second.

Mitch had a confident smile on his face. “I borrowed this tux from my dad and he helped me pick out this tie,” Mitch’s confidence radiated off of him as he displayed his outfit before it faltered when he noticed his tie’s placement looked like shit. Silently Brody helped fix his tie then intertwined her fingers with his. The two shared a quick smile then after locking the door headed out towards the restaurant.

Both of them felt extremely out of place at this fancy restaurant. It was way out of their normal price range.

“Why the fuck do they have two forks?” Mitch looked at the table placement with confusion as he and Brody waited for their steak dinners.

“I don’t know. Maybe it's in case you drop one?” Brody shrugged, unsure of her own answer. Mitch stared at the forks for a moment longer before a mischievous grin appeared on his face. “Mitch, what are you thinking?”

Mitch was silent as he looked up at Brody before his elbow knocked off a fork. After a moment a waiter came forward and replaced his fork. Brody sighed which only made Mitch’s smile grow.

“Come on, Brodes, y’know you love me,” Mitch’s smug smile faded in an instant when he realized what he had just said. The two shared a look, both extremely red once more before looking away.

Brody was silent for a minute then answered. “Yeah, I do.”

Her answer made Mitch drop his glass of water directly on his crotch. “Fuck!”

“Mitch! Are you okay?” Brody pushed back her chair to check on her boyfriend.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. It just looks like I pissed my pants,” Mitch was silent for a moment, wondering if he should go for it. “I love you too,”

His answer shocked Brody who in her surprise knocked over a plate which slammed onto Mitch’s toe. This date was absolute chaos but both of them seemed focused on the positives of the moment, chaos and all.

Violet hopped up onto the back of her old, beat up, blue pickup truck, parked in the same spot that Violet had taken Prisha all those months ago on their first date together. Her hands worked to place the last few pillows in place before double checking that all the fake candles were on. After frantically checking once more Violet got off the truck and walked towards the door. Opening it, she saw that Prisha still had her eyes closed.

“Okay, it's ready. Here, take my hand,” Violet instructed and Prisha immediately held out her hand which Violet grasped. Silently she led the way towards the back of the pickup truck. After getting Prisha in the right spot, Violet took a few steps back beside the truck.”Okay, open your eyes.”

Prisha’s eyes slowly fluttered open before growing large in awe. The back of the pickup truck was covered in blankets and pillows. Along the edges of the truck were fake candles as well as two vases filled with violets, baby’s breath and forget me nots.

“I did my best to make it like our first date but, y’know, better,” Violet awkwardly scratched the back of her neck then hid her hands away in her front hoodie pocket.

“It's absolutely beautiful! Violet,” Prisha’s voice hitched in her throat and she ran forward, cupping Violet’s face and capturing her lips in a passionate kiss. Violet’s eyes grew large at the romantic gesture for a moment then she deepened the kiss. Prisha pulled back and looked lovingly into Violet’s eyes. “I love it.” “I’m glad,” Violet smiled at her girlfriend then intertwined her fingers with Prisha’s. “So, ready to stargaze?”

“Of course!” Prisha returned the smile, kissing Violet’s nose quickly before getting up on the back of the pickup truck with her. The two worked together to get under the blankets and snuggled close. Both of them soon became lost in the beauty of the sky when all of a sudden Prisha reached out and held onto Violet’s hand once more. Violet gave a soft laugh at that which confused Prisha as she looked over at her girlfriend. “What?”

“Nothing. It's just on our first date neither of us was even sure if it was one and we both kept accidentally dodging each other’s hands,” Violet’s eyes traveled over to Prisha’s. “I’m really glad that you held my hand that night,”

“I am too. I can't even express how much you’ve grown to mean to me, Violet. How deeply I care about you, how much I love you,” Prisha turned her body so that she was closer to Violet. Her eyes soon became lost in Violet’s.

“Me neither. To think I’d find someone like you,” Violet whispered and moved closer. “I’m really fucking lucky. So, thanks for choosing me,”

Prisha’s smile grew and she gave Violet a soft kiss. “I wouldn’t choose anyone else. I love you,”

“I love you too,” Violet snuggled up closer to Prisha and soon the two repositioned themselves. Violet’s head gently rested on Prisha’s shoulder as Prisha’s arms wrapped around Violet. The couple’s gaze slowly returned up to the starry sky. Violet snuck a quick glance at Prisha then looked up at the sky once more. Being here with her and the stars that shone brightly in the sky, in that moment Violet needed nothing more.

#twdg #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg violet #twdg prisha #twdg ruby #twdg aasim #twdg brody #twdg mitch #twdg kenny #twdg duck #twdg oakley #clouis #rusim #twdg privet #twdg moody #fanfic #I am thou thou art I au

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dahniwitchoflight · 4 years ago

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Homesquared Chapter 16

Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?

Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)

“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “

pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening

OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy

Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”

JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so

and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?

Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out

ROXY: but so far so good

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol

The narration is really trying to make John nervous though

OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that

“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“

lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD

Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want

Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want

JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.

JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?

JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?

JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?

JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?

JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.

JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.

JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.

JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.

JOHN: it DID feel good.

JOHN: i DO feel free.

JOHN: sorry.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize

ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn

JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening

because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues

remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had

Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him

now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be

John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?

ROXY: but like now that u mention it

ROXY: *meaningful pause*

JOHN: …

JOHN: i

JOHN:

John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

JOHN: yeah ok.

Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it

Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!

oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha

and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde

Lil HAL

lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD

This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?

That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though

that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone

Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that

lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.

Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)

Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda

CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.

CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".

CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.

yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far

CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".

yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t

one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility

More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real

CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity

that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol

but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is

Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)

It’s all inter-related I tells ya

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

You say that now but

CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.

CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!

CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.

yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else

time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along

that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room

same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb

the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are

CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.

CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.

CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.

CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!

So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else

nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also

JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?

CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.

CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.

JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.

CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U

CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.

CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing

JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?

JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?

CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.

CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.

JOHN: oh.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse

the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative

Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.

CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.

ROXY: its total bs is what it is

CALLIOPE: right, yes.

CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.

CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure

To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this

or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead

is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop

Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either

and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences

That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event

And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh

ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense

ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance

and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it

But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again

and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself

ROXY: thx babe

ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or

JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.

(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)

so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now

that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose

John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you

Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man

John: I didn’t say the word gender-

Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later

John: Hmm, later then. :)

Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)

shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD

#Homesquared #june egbert #john egbert #yeah theres no way there not gonna bring up June Egbert as a apossibility now #Roxy couldn't have quirked her eyebrows harder at the fourth wall if they had tried #Homestuck #I'm basically convinced now lol #that plus my reaction to chapter 14

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ghostofcitrus · 3 years ago

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cw transphobia

just learned that my dad told my (closeted genderfluid) younger sister that they can’t use my pronouns bc “he doesn’t care what we do later in life, but he has two daughters” (after they used them in convo and he was all like “who are you talking about ?”). apparently he got all annoyed/angry about it too.

this fucking sucks. esp bc my younger sister literally was only using they/them, not even he or ey. i specially only use they/them for my parents bc i thought it would be easier for them to digest. i thouvht he was fine?? i had come out to my mom and asked her to tell him for me,, she said she did and he was just like “okay” and didn’t really care! which fine for me. i had assumed they saw me as “their daughter who identified as non-binary” but were supportive and just thouvht that bc of the generation gap and they didn’t understand. not that my dad was explicitly unsupportive.

obviously i’m still really privileged because i’m safe and my mom literally doesn’t seem to care and even tho she doesn’t use my pronouns im like 99% sure it’s purely bc shes bad with that stuff and not thinking about it (and i don’t correct her). tho i do think she thinks it’s a phase (she makes comments that lead me to belive this) but honestly i don’t even fucking care about that. she doesn’t make it my problem and just said that whatever i do as long as i’m safe, she doesn’t care and is supportive of. but i didn’t expect that from my dad at all. it’s really hurtful. i feel like shit. and i’m nervous that when i get my binder and start wearing it he’ll say something directly to me. my mom knows i bought it and thinks it’s just a sports bra and i “fell for the marketing” but she said she doesn’t care. once again, whatever, not my problem, as long as she doesn’t prevent me from transitioning, i’m fine. but i just don’t know if my dad will say something now.

i don’t know. my parents are a lot better than most. and i’m safe. but my mom never uses my pronouns and i’m 85% sure thinks it’s a phase and i’m 100% sure my dad does not support it and won’t let people use my pronouns around him. i’m just glad pronouns aren’t my main (or big) cause of upset or dysphoria for me. still hurts that he doesn’t support me.

at least my younger sister knows not to come out, they had been thinking about doing it somewhat soon. and at least i know they can kinda get it and i know they’re totally supportive of me.

sorry for the whole long venty post. i just want to put it somewhere where people who can understand might see it. i’m just kinda hurt rn. i’m just tired, i’m gonna go to bed :( hopefully my binder finally fuckimg SHIPS tomorrow i ordered it like a week ago😭 that’s the good news i need to hear rn

#tomorrow is gonna suck #i just have so much to do and i don’t want to do any of it and i’m exhausted and my plans got ruined and ugh #a wholething happened and the stuff i was looking forward to is getting cancelled and another thing is happening i can’t even participate #in and im just sad and lonely and ended up having a shit day #and tmr will prob suck too and fri was when i had plans i was excited for bht got cancelled #and saturday is when the thing i’m left out of that cancelled my plans is happening #god i’m just exhausted and tired and it looks like four upsetting days r gonna happen in a row #and all this other stuff i wanna complain ab but i won’t bc i already journaled ab it #my post #citrus speaks #nonbinary #non-binary #transphobia mention #transphobia cw #trans #vent #long post #sorry i just :( gonna try to do some self validation tmr #but it’s my senior pics so i may be forced to wear a dress. honestly fuck this

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oddaodd · 4 years ago

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Hello I’m the person who requested “I Don't Go In For Sweets” and...just let me begin by saying thank you from the bottom of my heart, thank you for dedicating your time and your energy to write it, it was absolutely perfect and everything I wanted! I sent you this request the day before a huge exam (yes, instead of studying but that’s another story lol) and surprisingly, you posted the fic a day after I got my results and saw that I passed so it felt a bit like some reward and yeah I know you didn’t do it on purpose but still, it was amazing! Now let’s dive into a deeper analysis (I like to do this but it’s quite long, don’t feel forced to read it, no pressure!)

First, the very beginning: Polly and Tommy’s talk and how can I say this? It was so good, so well written I was actually seeing the scene as clearly as if I was watching the last episode of s3, I could actually hear them talk and see them move and it was too good to even feel like reading! I’m also so grateful you had the idea to bring the impact of Tommy’s mother’s death on him because...it’s not something we see a lot in the show but I’ve always been convinced that he had always been very affected by it and he would never want the same for his son.

Now, the wedding day: “The fact that everything about this wedding was so obscenely different from his first did soothe his guilt a bit” this kind of sums up a lot: Tommy compares all of this situation to what he had and rejoices over the fact it’s not as perfect, as beautiful, as great as what he had with Grace because it makes him feel slightly better, he isn’t betraying her as much as if he was enjoying marrying a new woman but then...she arrives and he can’t help it but find her pretty.

You perfectly showed this inner conflict of always having Grace in mind, always reminding himself of her and how better she was, this is not something he’s doing because he enjoys it but because it’s the best solution.

And of course he makes sure his opinion is known, he doesn’t smile back at the the altar, the big wedding kiss he gave to Grace is here, a simple, almost nonexistent brush on the lips, he doesn’t try to get to know his wife, on their way home, he has this revelatory lapsus “I've already asked the maids to take them up to your-our room” because deep down, it’s not his room or their room, it will only be hers because he won’t sleep in it much and he shows it a moment later when he doesn’t even sleep in the same room as her on their wedding night! I mean the scene where she’s waiting for him all nervous and giggly because she knows what happens...or at least she thinks she knows but then she wakes up alone in the morning, no “husband” in sight. Then comes breakfast, Tommy introduces her to Charlie (who wasn’t even at the wedding!!!) like he would present his new nanny because in a way...that’s what she is. He didn’t marry that girl because he wanted it but because it was something he knew his son needed. I really loved the fact you didn’t make Charlie love reader instantly because as kind hearted as he may be, he’s still a child who suddenly lives with an unknown woman his dad doesn’t even seem to like but one little discussion is enough to make him warm up to her and yeah I liked seeing this, it was very well done!

Then we get to see Tommy couldn’t care less about his wife and a thing kind of stroke me: reader has insomnia sometimes and Tommy doesn’t seem to worry or even think about it, he just sees it as more occasion for her to talk to him and ugh please no! And it shows how detached he can be which is so so in character! Afterwards you wrote about how he didn’t invite her to family meetings and stuff which I think was important to mention and maybe you didn’t think it this way but he keeps her away of very important part of his life: the business and the local bar he spends time with his family which is quite a...special place because that’s where he met Grace, that’s where their story began and family meetings? Inviting her would mean she’s part of their family, they trust her enough to welcome her but 1) he doesn’t really care about her enough to trust her and 2) would grace really have been invited to these meetings? Considering what she did? Definitely not so in not inviting his new wife, he doesn’t give her an advantage of being more welcomed in the family than grace was because, again, she’ll never be enough, she’ll never be grace. And it was so important to show this and you did it so beautifully, so subtly, wow!

The birthday party is also a great way to show that reader has a great relationship with everyone except her own husband and their convo in the office afterwards bluntly stated that. Tommy is so heartless, so cold, so...awful towards the woman he married! I really hated him in this moment because clearly she’s trying, she wants to make things alright but he will not let it, he will push her away no matter how harsh he has to be. And there is no apology, no compassion, nothing, he doesn’t care. He knows how bad his words hurt but he owes nothing to her.

And even when he’s awful to her, she still offer her time and her attention. He comes home completely drunk and considering the way he treated her, she could let him deal with his terrible state alone but she won’t, he’s her husband after all...I really loved how you turned that scene, we can see some of reader’s... I don’t know what to call it but so far, she let him have his space and now, when he rejects her help, she still gives him a hand. And then he compliments her, out of the blue and yeah he’s completely drunk but it feels true. And even better, he apologizes and explains his awful behavior and it was essential to have this! It was essential for reader to hear it from him that she didn’t do anything bad, it wasn’t her fault or anything, he just struggled with understanding what her place was. Even better, she reminds him she doesn’t want to take Grace’s place.

It was everything he needed to understand because right after this, he allows himself to let go a bit and then...a little bit more and again...some more until finally the stables scenes arrives! And my oh my! How much more beautiful could this story get? The fact they bond over something Tommy loves is just...amazing! It allows reader to see a gentle side of him because we all know how Tommy gets whenever he sees a horse, it could and will make any woman fall in love with him. And this scene holds so much...power and emotion, she trusts him enough to let him guide the horse even though she doesn’t know how to ride it and he assures her he won’t let her fall which is so important because he accepts the fact that she trusts him and he want to be worthy of that trust which is a big step because it means he cares. And they have the loveliest moment, just the two of them, no grace clouding his mind, no hatred, no unnecessary talk, just a husband and a wife enjoying the nice weather. He helps her off of the horse and he grabs her waist but he doesn’t feel the need to take off his hand and it shows progress, it shows he enjoys having her close and he looks at her, it’s the first thing that came to his mind, her beauty and now he doesn’t feel guilty about it. He stares at her, he enjoys it and he doesn’t want to stop. And finally because well, this story couldn’t just stop there, it reached a whole new peak in beauty: their real, true first kiss. It doesn’t mean we have a fairytale and happily ever after but it feels like a true promise of better things coming up, the kiss he gave her on their wedding day (as a way to seal their wedding vows) was given...reluctantly to say the least but now, he was promising her to be better in the future and truly respect those vows and it’s just the most perfect ending this story could have! It was just a magnificent, so beautifully well written story I don’t even know what to say anymore (and I think I’ve already said way more than I should be allowed to!) than it was perfect, you’re so talented and I’m so thankful you agreed to write this! I hope I haven’t killed you with my pages of review lol! Have a wonderful day <3

Ps. I didn’t proof read this so sorry for mistakes and nonsensical sentences :)

Hello!

First of all, thank you so much for writing me to tell me how much you appreciated your fic. I really like knowing that the person who requested a specific fic enjoyed it so, It means the world!

And just look at that! I certainly didn’t know anything about your exam, but what a marvelous most serendipitious coincidence! It makes everything seem much more magical, don’t you think? The universe never ceases to amaze me! 🥰

Also, thank you for the analysis. I always like to write things so that they go beyond words in order to convey feelings and stir deeper emotions and I’m so glad you not only perceived them but also liked what I was trying to project!

I too, feel in my bones that Tommy’s mother’s death affected him a lot. Maybe it’s not something that keeps him awake at night (or all nights) but I definitely feel like it is one of the thoughts he keeps on the back of his mind and is constantly nagging him. And polly of course is one of if not the only one who can see it.

As for the wedding and their marriage in general, I did want to show Tommy having this conflict because as we know, our man doesn’t let go of things easily. And like Tatiana Petrovna once said, his fear is freedom. Im not saying that Grace stopped him from being free, but he insisted on staying in the past, and when the reader comes up she’s basically carrying with her this humongous banner that reads FUTURE.

He does think the reader is pretty and he knows that his family accepts her and his son loves her but he doesn’t want to give in, he’s almost afraid of doing it, so what is the easiest thing to do? Push her away. And still when he’s awful to her she helps him because I want to believe she can also look behind the walls he so desperately put up around him. In the end I didn’t want to make it like *poof! They magically fell in love! * but like you said, I wanted it to end with a promise of better things to come.

Again, thank you so much for taking the time to write. I enjoyed analyzing Tommy’s mind with you and I hope you have a lovely day as well!

P.S: Congratulations on your exam results! 🤍💐

#lovely anon #odaanswers

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arobandhan · 4 years ago

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first time

enjoyyyyy i love you @balenciagastones xx

Since meeting, Alex and Hannah had three small dates, mostly consisting of hanging out together either at the park, on a drive to Costa, and hanging at his house. The two of them had yet to make it official though they knew it was inevitable, they were hooked to each other from the first meeting and there was no sign of stopping what they had.

But nevertheless Alex wanted to take Hannah out on a proper date, one where he can show her how serious he was about their newly found relationship.

He had called her when he knew she was out of class, he had just gotten home from training, it finally being Friday, no weekend game ahead.

“Hello handsome.” she answered the phone making him smile widely at the nickname

“Hello love, how was class?” he replied

“Boring as usual, got no new work for the weekend tho which is a blessing, howd training go?” she countered

“Well that’s good at least love, training was good just a bit tiring but it's alright,” he began, “y'know i was wonderingggg..” he dragged out making her giggle on the other side of the phone, his stomach erupting with butterflies at the sound.

“You were saying..” she giggled more wanting to hear his thoughts.

“Right i was wondering if you wanted to go on a date tonight?” he asked

“Sounds fun, handsome, I can come over and we can watch movies if you want?” she replied

“No no i was thinking like a proper date… like we can dress up a bit and go out somewhere nice,” he can hear her breath stop, “what do you think pretty girl?”

“You know you don't have to take me anywhere nice for a date baby, i hope you know that.”

“No i know love i just really wanna go out somewhere nice with you and you deserve it after a long week of school,” he started and he could hear her smile, “so what do you say beautiful?”

“Alright I’m in.” she giggled.

“Perfect beautiful, I’ll pick you up at 8? Does that sound good?” he asked

“I'll see you then robertson.” she laughed.

“See you soon angel.”

And with that the call ended, the young couple both climbed up the stairs in their respective homes to get ready for their date night.

Alex felt like a teenage girl as he looked over his appearance about a billion times before calling his sister for her opinion.

“TAYLORRR!” he yelled hoping his older sister would hear him. Next he saw was her opening his door.

“What do you want weirdo?” he turned to her with a plea for help.

“Does this look good for a date with Hannah tonight?”

She walked over to him and got a closer look, pondering before walking over to his closet grabbing his black Palm Angels zip up hoodie and handing it over to him.

“Wear this over your tshirt, it’ll complete the look,” she stated, “oo and wear one of your thin chains tonight, im sure Hannah would love it.” she finished sitting on his bed as she watched her brother finish getting ready.

“Okay, how do i look?” he asked, completely ready.

“Perfect, is she staying over tonight?” she asked making him nod remembering the text convo he had with hannah about 10 minutes before, “Well i'm heading to Josh’s tonight… and mum and dad won't be back from their event till lateee.”

“What Are you trying to say Tay?” he looked at her.

“Just use protection alright, and ask for consent please, I like Hannah for you so don’t fuck it up,” she said standing up, “Alright be safe, love you byeee” and with that she was gone.

Alex looked one last time in the mirror before texting hannah.

I'm gonna head over in 5, see you soon pretty girl xx

Hannah was currently on facetime with Adri showing her how the outfit the two of them picked earlier looked together, she read the text before replying.

okay see you soon handsome xx

“Okay Alex is leaving his to pick me up now,” she said, clicking the facetime call to see Adri’s face again, “how do we look?”

“Damn i have good taste!” Adri sighed happily making Hannah laugh.

“That you do now does it look alright?”

“It looks perfect Han, just pair it with your jewelry and you’re gonna take Alex’s breath away when he sees you.” she said smiling

“I wouldn't go that far with that.”

“Uhhh yes you should tho, from what i know and have heard from you, you have that boy wrapped around your finger, it's only a matter of time he makes it official with you and y’know maybe have a bit more fun with you….”

“ADS?!”

“Whattt im just stating the inevitable, i mean you guys are going on a nice date, you're staying the night at his, and if i'm not mistaken you mentioned that you shaved every part of your body in the shower.” Adri looked at her knowingly.

“I mean yeah i did but it doesn't mean anything is gonna happen, i just like being clean shaven.”

“So the black panties you picked out mean nothing?” Adri pointed out and Hannah began to blush.

“No they just match the outfit as a matter of a fact.”

“Mhmm yeah you keep telling yourself that, just be safe tonight, i know how much you wanna jump him already.” she laughed making Hannah giggle as she looked at herself in the mirror, turning her head to stick her tongue out at her friend.

“We’ll just have to see what happens I guess.”

“Yes we will and you better update me.” Adri responded just as Hannah received a text from Alex.

I’m outside princess coming to the door xx

“Is prince charming here?” adri asked

Then a knock was heard at the front door, Hannah's mom shouting that it was Alex waiting.

“Indeed he is, i have to go love you lots.”

“Love you too, use protection.” Adri finished and hung up before hannah could reply to her comment, rolling her eyes at her friend's words.

She grabbed her overnight bag, heading down the stairs seeing Alex in the front doorway.

“Well don't you clean up nicely.” she flirted making him chuckle nervously, he couldn’t help but be amazed at how beautiful she always looked, especially tonight,

“Have you looked at yourself angel you look beautiful.” he said, making her quickly peck his lips smiling and blushing madly.

“You two have fun.” her mom said as they walked out to his car, Alex had grabbed her overnight bag from her and carried it to his car, placing it in the trunk quickly.

Alex being the gentleman he is, opened the door for Hannah, closing the door once she was seated inside. Running around the front of his car he sat down inside and turned to her.

“Ready to go?” he asked, she nodded her head smiling widely. He leaned over and gave her a proper kiss for the first time that night. “Been waiting for that all day.” he sighed contently making her giggle and grab his hand to intertwine with his.

The car ride was filled with singing to music, banter, and lots of small flirty comments. They soon reached the restaurant and Alex brought her hand to his lips pressing a kiss on the back of it as he pulled into the parking spot.

“Oooo look at you skilled driver.” she teased making him laugh.

“What can i say i’m a man of many talents,” he winked, “wait there imma open the door for you.” he finished, giving her a short kiss before hopping out of the car, opening the door for her to get out, grabbing her hand to help her out not letting go as they walked towards the entrance of the cute little restaurant they came to.

“This place is so cute baby i love it.”

“Im glad pretty girl.” the two of them walked in and a little while later were taken to their table.

Alex pulled out the chair for Hannah earning a small peck on the cheek from her making him smirk slightly before taking his seat across from her.

“So far you have received a 100/10 rating baby.” she giggled making her boyfriend chuckle as they looked at the menu, ordering some soft drinks for themselves.

The two of them had small talk, as well as joking around due to Alex starting a game about guessing what everyone in the restaurant was thinking, the two of them having to keep their laughs to a low volume so they wouldn’t get kicked out.

When their food came they each ate their food, as well as giving the other person a bite when they asked for one, you would never think they hadn’t been a thing for very long due to how they acted. The two of them continued before they were interrupted by an older couple passing by their table.

“Sorry to interrupt i just wanted to come over and say how cute you two look together, match made in heaven i can tell,” she smiled making the young couple melt, “he’s a handsome one pretty lady, keep him close.” she winked before bidding them goodbye. The two of them bursting out in laughter.

“Did you hear that baby gotta keep me close cuz im handsomeeee.” he winked

“She seemed pretty interested in you wanna have her stay over tonight?” she joked making him laugh.

“Nahhh you know you're the only one i want in my bed tonight.” he smirked

“Cheeky boy.” she rolled her eyes playfully.

“Have i told you how gorgeous you look right now.”

“No but please tell me more.” she responded, putting her chin in her hands smiling, joking around but he continued talking.

“Well all im gonna say is i think thats my favorite dress of yours,” he winked, “let me take a picture of you i want it to be my lockscreen, say cheese.” he said pulling out his phone

Hannah smiled slightly seeing him take the picture, you could see the light blush on her cheeks and Alex had never adored someone more, taking a sip of his drink while putting the picture as his lock screen.

“Well since we’re being paparazzi, look at me so i can get a pic of you too, can have matching lock screens from tonight.” she said doing the same as him, he posed still taking sip from his drink, his phone in his other hand.

“How do i look? Handsome?” he winked

“As always.” she responded, putting the picture as her lockscreen.

The check came and even though she insisted they split, Alex paid repeating to her that he was treating her tonight. They made their way out of the restaurant hand in hand towards the car.

“I can’t get over how good you look in this dress.” he said pulling her in closer to his side, wrapping his arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her temple. A blush creeped up to her cheeks making her smile from ear to ear.

He opened the car door for her and let her in before closing it and climbing in on the other side.

“Is anyone at your house?” she asked innocently.

“Umm no, Taylor went to Josh’s for the night, and mum and dad are at some event for mum’s work,” he replied, “why?”

“No nothing really was just wondering since i hadn’t seen them since last time i was over.”

“Youre so cute angel.” he chuckled

“Well i try.” she laughed flipping her hair.

They eventually reached his house and he climbed out first going to the trunk to grab her bag before coming to her side and opening the door for her.

They both entered the house in silence and headed towards his room, she took off her jacket and heels as he put her bag down and then laid on the bed. She crawled on the bed and laid next to him. He immediately changed positions, moving on his side with his right arm around her waist as she laid on her back. He was slightly above her just smiling like a little boy.

“Whatre you smiling for you cheeky boy?” she giggled.

“Nothinggg just like seeing you in my bed.” he smirked pecking her lips.

“Oh do you now?” she said pecking his lips again.

“Mhmm.” he responded pecking her lips, this time she pulled him by his shirt closer and deepened the kiss.

Their lips moving in sync, her hands going from his shirt to his hair, pulling at it as they fought for dominance with their lips. The two of them completely entranced in each other just contently kissing.

He pulled away first breathing heavily but still so close to her face, their noses touching.

“Be mine.” he breathed out.

“I’m already yours baby.” she responded.

“No i mean be mine as is in my girlfriend, i want you to be my girlfriend Hannah.” and with those words slipping from his mouth hers grew into a smile that could challenge the cheshire cat.

She brought his lips to his for a short and passionate kiss.

“I’d love to be your girlfriend Alex.” pulling away, the wide smile not fading from her face.

He smiled and smashed his lips onto hers again. This time the kiss was rougher, hungrier.

The two of them were no angels, they had teased each other to a point where they had to stop from going further, make out sessions that were ended with images engraved into their brains when they were alone in their respective rooms giving themselves what they couldn’t receive from the other person yet.

They wanted to take it slow, not wanting to rush something that they knew was going to happen eventually. Wanting to be sure of their feelings for one another.

They were sure as hell of them tonight.

Hannah was the first one to make a move essentially leading towards that, placing her hands on his shoulders, sliding the zip up hoodie off his shoulders as it was eventually taken off of him.

Alex then hovered over Hannah once he was rid of the outer garment, his hands immediately went to her hips, their lips never losing contact. The skirt of the dress riding up as his hands grabbed tighter around her hips. He pulled away from her lips, tugging her bottom lip with his teeth inciting a small moan from her mouth. His eyes went wide and her face was red from the blush that creeped up.

“Fuck that was hot.” he said lowly.

She smirked and leaned up smashing her lips onto his again. He leaned them both back down as they continued making out, her hands went underneath the shirt hinting at him to take it off. He did and all she can do was stare at his toned torso. He smirked connecting their lips again, his hands pushing the skirt of her dress up even more, giving him just the faintest sight of the black lace panties she was wearing underneath. She leaned them both up as she guided his hands from her hips to the back of her dress where he could feel the small zipper that held the dress closed, motioning him to take it off her.

He pulled away from her and cupped her face.

“Are you sure you want this angel?” he pecked her lips.

She smiled and replied, “More than anything baby.” and with that she reconnected their lips and go right back to where they were.

His hands went to her back, slowly unzipping the dress down, he leaned back as her hands went up to the straps of the dress pulling them down to show him that she wasn't wearing a bra underneath the dress. He moaned at the sight of her bare tits in front of him. His lips going straight to her neck as her hands went into his hair moaning at the feeling of him leaving a trail of marks on her neck. His hands pulling the dress down her legs as his lips travelled down her chest. Her dress being thrown to the floor as he was exposed to her entire body only being covered by her small balck panties.

His stare made her a little self conscious moving her arms to cover herself but he stopped her shaking his head.

“You're so gorgeous angel.” he said before kissing her again, pulling away to resume kissing her body. His lips finding her right breast, wrapping his lips around her nipple. His left hand massaging and groping the left one, his free hand remained tightly gripping her waist.

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes back in pleasure at the feeling he was giving her from just his lips. He kept his eyes on her face the entire time. His jeans became tighter as he heard the noises come out of her mouth, they sounded like heaven to him. She knew how hard he was getting so she pulled him away from her breasts and brought his face to her, crashing her lips against his.

“I need you inside of me.” she moaned in his mouth making him groan.

Her hands went to the buttons of his jeans and unbuttoned them for him, pulling them down and hooking her fingers in the band of his boxers pulling them down as well. Their lips never parted but he pulled away to full take off his jeans and boxers. Hannah’s eyes never left his body, seeing his hands finally pull down the material that was concealing what she wanted most at the time.

Her eyes widened as she saw it, she wasn’t gonna lie she had imagined what it looked like but she was stilled stunned by it. His hard on slapped the bottom of his stomach when it was freed, he was a little longer than average but definitely had more girth to it and Hannah had to keep herself from having her mouth watering.

“You like what you see?” he smirked, the face his girlfriend had on not going unnoticed by him.

“Mhmm,” she started, crawling towards him and leaning up to kiss him but kept her lips centimeters away from his, “but I’d prefer if you’d just fuck me already.” she smirked pulling away and laying back on the bed, opening her legs for him to come in between them.

“Don’t mind if i do.” he smirked, crawling and going in between her legs like she wanted. He leaned over to grab a condom from his side drawer, opening the packet before she grabbed it from his hands and slid it on him instead of letting him do it. The feeling of her hands on his member making him throw his head back in pleasure.

He kissed her making her lay back as he grabbed his member and ran it through her folds making her whine and rut her hips up.

“You ready baby?” he asked, already lined up at her entrance, she nodded her head and she felt him go slip in.

Her wetness acted as a lubricant as he slipped in so easily. He felt bigger inside of her and she let out a whine as he groaned once he bottomed out inside her. He gave her a chance to adjust before feeling her legs wrap around his waist and hearing her moan out, “you can move.”

He began thrusting slowly inside of her, loving the feeling of her tight walls clenching against his cock. Their moans were bouncing off the walls. Her hands were pulling at his hair as he increased the speed of his thrusts. Her hands had moved to his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin making him groan, his face dropping into her neck, kissing it, hearing the noises she elicited when kissing certain parts, realizing those were her soft spots and began sucking on them to leave marks.

“You feel so good, faster baby, please.” she moaned into his ear. He growled in her before picking up the pace. She was screaming his name in no time and it sounded like music to his ears.

He felt her clench more and more as he kept thrusting. She began to feel the pit in her stomach form.

“Keep clenching angel im getting closer.” he moaned out.

“I'm so close baby, you feel amazing.”

The two of them both reaching their highs together, his hips stilled as he finished and felt her come undone. He pulled out slowly, kissing her lips gently as she laid on the bed out of breath.

“That was,” he started.

“Amazing.” she finished, smiling and leaning up to kiss him.

“Indeed it was,” he smirked against her lips, “lets get you cleaned yeah?” he asked making her nod and try to get out of bed, she winced at the sore feeling between her legs making him giggle and walk over to her.

“C'mere angel ill carry you.” and with that he picked her up and took her to the bathroom. Putting her down as she went to the toilet and he took off the condom and discarded it.

“Wanna shower?” she asked looking innocently at him.

“Don’t have to ask me twice,” he smirked, making her giggle. He turned the water on in the shower and pulled her close to him and inside the shower.

The two of them clean each other, just gentle touches, some tickling and kisses. The two were enamored by each other and felt even closer than they did before.

He couldn’t help the heart eyes he had when he was with her. He stared in awe of her when she was rinsing out the soap from her body.

“I’m so in love with you.” he blurted it out, making herf freeze and turn around with wide eyes.

“What did you say?”

“I said im in love with you, and i know its early but i can’t deny it,” he got cut off by her pulling him closer to her and kissed him.”

She pulled away smiling, “Im in love with you too… boyfriend.” she winked, making him smile.

“That has a nice ring to it… girlfriend.” he replied making her laugh.

The rest of the night came with, her wearing his clothes all cuddled under the covers with him, just chatting away about anything and everything. Kisses were exchanged here and there along with them calling each other ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ before erupting into giggles.

Eventually it became quiet and he looked down at her cudded into his side, fast asleep. He smiled softly before kissing her forehead and turning the side lamp off.

“I love you my angel.” he said before falling asleep himself.

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smellycinnamonthundahfudge · 5 years ago

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here we are, folks, mama's gonna write another one of these things so sit down and enjoy some post-hoco peter starts to fall for mj shits

sigh why do i even bother

Caught Stealing

Peter likes to think he's been doing pretty good at this whole superhero thing for quite a while now; saving people, giving directions, catching thieves. Things have been going pretty great.

But the one thief he didn't expect to show up on his radar was one that didn't even show up when he was in spidey-mode, oh no, this one showed up when he was regular ol' peter parker for crying out loud. Just one day at another one of these acadec meetings, Peter Parker saw MJ try to steal a glance at him while he was on a call with Happy, and his brain was left on buffer for the rest of the call, the meeting, and pretty much the entire week after.

"Hey, Ned, hav you ever seen MJ like... look at me?" Peter asks Ned in the cafeteria while MJ wasn't there yet (he's brave enough to go through flames with a broken leg to save Liz's supervillain dad but hell if he's brave enough to talk about a potential crush just mere feet near said crush).

"Yes," answered Ned without even looking, and just continued eating his tuna sandwich lunch.

"What!?" Peter exclaims slightly loudly making him take a look around him to see if anyone (MJ) might have noticed. To his relief, no one did what with all the conversations happening in the cafeteria and MJ still wasn't there. "When were you going to tell me?"

Ned swallows the bite he just took, "I thought you did know."

"Well, clearly I didn't. I've been pretty busy with ~something~ as you know."

"Pfftt yeah and you were also crushing pretty hard on Liz if I can also recall."

"Okay, okay fine whatever, we've already established I've been busy. I just- how long have you known? Or how long have you noticed it was going on?"

"You seriously haven't noticed?" Ned asks genuinely a bit shocked that Peter didn't know.

"Dude, I'm telling you I haven't-" Peter repeats for the nth time, frustrated he still doesn't know how long this has been going on. "How long?"

Ned lets out a chuckle of disbelief, "Pretty much since halfway through freshman year, bro. Wow, I can't believe you really haven't noticed. Some Peter-tingle you've got there."

Peter lets out a huff of frustration, "It doesn't work that way. And ugh can you please not call it the Peter-tingle? I already get enough of that from Aunt May."

Ned turns his hands up in defeat and just proceeds to continue eating his lunch again.

"I can't believe this, has it really been going on for that-"

"Hey, losers," MJ greets to their table, finally showing up to their usual spot.

"MJ!" Peter almost shouts from shock. Man, Ned might be right, his (ugh) Peter-tingle just wasn't working right now.

MJ snorts from Peter's reaction, "Yes, Peter, it is me, MJ, the girl who's been sitting next to you guys for the better part of a year now,' MJ mock explains. "You doing okay there, Pete?" MJ asks finally taking a seat.

"Yeah, yeah, just a bit jumpy, I guess..."

"Alright, whatever. What can't you believe has been going on for that long?"

"What?"

"When I got here, you were saying you can't believe it's been going on for that long. What has?"

Peter looks to Ned in a panic and he blurts out "Spiders!" in response, making Peter face palm himself on the table.

"Spiders?" MJ still asks, being what Ned said did nothing to explain anything.

"Yeah... Peter's had this really intense phobia of them ever since we went on that fieldtrip. He accidentally slipped in the bathroom this morning cause he saw a spider and he couldn't believe he still hasn't gotten over his phobia," Ned explains lies so casually, but by the end of it sighs and gives Peter a not really that subtle thumbs up.

Peter on the other hand is semi-frustrated over having to lie to MJ about TWO things in his life now and the fact that his best friend just made him seem like a scaredy cat that actually slips in the bathroom from seeing a spider. His frustration doesn't last though cause he's just waiting to see if MJ actually buys Ned's load of spider phobia bs.

"Oh, okay-" MJ thinks about how they were probably talking about spider-man things before she came but decides to just go along with their excuse and thinks about a possible cause of the phobia on the very highly unlikely (at least in her opinion) chance that Ned was actually telling the truth, remembering Peter's uncle dying just a few weeks after the fieldtrip and feeling bad for Pete so she offers up a solution or maybe just something to comfort him.

"You know, they say that to get rid of a phobia, exposure therapy works, so maybe it'll make you feel better to know that humans swallow up to like 10 spiders in an entire year," MJ jokes a bit awkwardly and pointedly that she just proceeded to eat her meal after finishing her sentence.

It makes Peter chuckle for a bit though so MJ releases that breath she didn't know she was holding and continues to avert her eyes to her meal and just continue eating.

"Wow, MJ yeah sure, nothing'll make me feel better like knowing there's probably like hundreds of tiny spiders inside me right now," Peter remarks sarcastically making MJ laugh as he fake shivers.

"Glad I could help," MJ winks and then averts her eyes again to get her book so she could read while eating, signalling she was ready for this convo to end (she wasn't going to be able to talk after what she can't believe she just did).

And Peter's kinda glad she does end it because holy sh- did, did MJ really just wink at him right now? Did that just happen?

Peter looks to Ned for confirmation who could only shrug in response being just as unsure about what to make of it as well.

Wondering what the hell just happened is the last thought circling inside Peter's brain while Ned just changes the subject to something else that didn't even register to Peter.

MJ may actually ACTUALLY like him, and Peter doesn't have a single clue what to do about it.

Nothing as it turns out, cause as the rest of the week passes without fanfare, it seems like Peter's finally regaining his sanity again as he thinks that maybe MJ looking at him was just MJ being MJ and he goes back to thinking of MJ as his friend and not the smart funny pretty girl who might have a crush on him, which she doesn't.

Until, yet again, Happy interrupts Peter at this week's acadec meeting and he steps outside to take the call.

"What, Happy? I told you I was busy during saturdays with acadec, what do you want?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was talking to Mr. Bigshot here. You know, I started on Stark Industries as a dri-"

And with that, Peter just proceeded to wince and hit himself with his phone, knowing he just made this phone call twice as long as what it probably would have been. He starts to just block out what Happy is saying and takes a peek at what he's missing at acadec.

Flash is asleep at the sidelines, must have been that party Peter saw he was having posted and streamed all over social media, it was so annoying. Ned, Cindy, Sally, and Abe were all on a roll tossing out answers back to back, Eddie was blanking and swearing the answer was at the tip of his tongue, and MJ as usual, was running the drills.

Yet again, Peter was thinking about how wonky his brain must have been to actually think that MJ, don't give an f what anyone thinks acadec team cap MJ, actually liked him.

But it seemed Peter must have been staring for too long because MJ noticed and glanced at him too, making Peter panic and immediately avert his eyes to a different direction, any direction at that. God, why was he this awkward?

But god help Peter Parker who must just be an awkwardness masochist because he couldn't help but just sneak a peek once again, only to see MJ was still looking at him and he must have had some ridiculous shocked expression on his face because the slightest grin started to appear on MJ's face and she looked away with almost- was that- A BLUSH?? a blushing expression on her face??? did that? she just? whattttt????

But before Peter could even get himself together, MJ looked back at him again only to grin over the fact Peter was still looking at her and roll her eyes over how ridiculous this wordless convo they were having across the room was, that she just snickered and gave a silent hi and subtle wave hidden from their team mates just below the podium.

Peter found himself grinning like an idiot too and could only give one awestruck wave which made MJ snicker and avert her eyes back to their team mates with a barely noticable flush on her face and a blink and you'll miss it, moment where MJ had to think about what she was saying before she and Peter began this cutely wordless reparte across the room.

MJ had to think about what she was going to say. Cool, suave, witty retorts and comebacks MJ seemed to have a moment of speechlessness.

okay.

And so as Peter could only hear a faint "Peter? Peter, are you still listening to me?" from his phone, he knew that he was absolutely, one hundred percent without a single doubt in his mind, truly, and utterly, fucked.

Maybe MJ wasn't the only one who had a crush.

heeyy yooeesss i missed writing mah anxious boi's pov yallssss. i miss writing for them in general huhu. also im probs gonna write a bunch more of these how they fell for each other fics cus i think this version of em/phase of their relationship is pretty underrated hehe

plus i still cant get over ffh pj disapproval so fine i'll just write the middle man fics myself then. it's just so easy to see how pete could fall for mj, i just cant

toot toot and i hope yalls enjoyed dis folks. it's good to be back. rlly missed em, ya know?

#spideychelle #<3 #peter parker #michelle jones #spideychelle is canon bitches #spideychelle is canon

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flowurfields · 4 years ago

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rant sesh!

does you blood pressure ever just rise exponentially when certain people text you!? because that’s me right now. over the years, i’ve found the best way for me to deal with any sort of overloaded stress is to sit down and write it all out.

long story [not really] short, i was living in a house with two of my best friends this past year for our sophomore year of college. once corona hit and sent us all home to quarantine we ended up moving back to our own homes and just continued to eat the rent as we loved our house and planned on living there for the remainder of college.

anyway, a couple weeks ago our landlord asks if we plan on renewing our one year lease. for some more background context, for whatever reason our landlord jim said that only one name could be under the lease. one of my roommates, let’s call her Bitch, has a super aggressive mom who kept on nagging the shit out of my dad. since my dad hates dealing with Bitch’s mom, he just said fuck it and put our name on the lease so that no one had to stress about it. this would fuck us over in the end...

so basically a couple weeks ago our landlord contacted us asking if we planned on renewing the lease. we all agreed, no issues at hand. with corona continuing to be a shitshow in america, our school promising us that we would be back in the fall started saying ‘haha oh jk things are really bad! maybe we’ll do online!” which changes things up a bit. me and my other roommate didn’t see a point in living up there if we didn’t need to be. we were basically on the page of let’s play this by ear and if we go online and want to move back home we’ll regroup and either find subleasers or something. Bitch, on the other hand was adamant on continuing to live nearby our school as she reasoned she would be seeing other people from our school and she couldn’t afford the luxury of returning home as she claims her dad is high risk (despite the fact that within the past couple of months she has gotten her nails done [twice], gone to malls, seen multiple friends, and attended a party). anyway, she freaked out that me and the other roommate wouldn’t be living at the house since we were talking about living at home if things were to proceed online. she kept on saying how she ‘didn’t want to be left alone’ and how her parents were worried we would ‘leave her alone’. to her credit, we were talking about living at home but i also made sure to say i would be living there at least part time since we just resigned that stupid lease. in my case, i would live there throughout the week and i may spend weekends at home where there is air conditioning (our house was built in like the 50s or some shit and there’s no AC and it’s consistent 80s thru October). still. just that one text message convo sent her into this weird frenzy and within a week she sends us a bomb and texts us how she just signed a new year lease somewhere else! just out of the blue! we were literally talking about having a discussion so we could work something out. nope apparently that was never an option for Bitch.

that was the bulk of the drama. this all happened two weeks ago. it was dramatic as i was away with family while this was all going down. since i was left with the lease and my other roommate chose to stick with me, we decided it was just best if we let go of the lease altogether. meaning we had until july 31st to move everything out if we wanted to get back our deposit. which lemme tell u. moving on short notice is a pain in the ass. i also had several big items we shared while we all lived together, such as a huge tv, trash can, conventional oven, etc. but i finally after a week, i am all moved all out.

i was pretty glad to be pretty much done with this whole house disaster situation until Bitch texts saying how the house needs to be cleaned since it’s super gross or whatever and i’m not even kidding when i tell u my blood pressure ROSE. i basically tell her that maybe she should take it upon herself to find one (since my other roommate had to deal with getting rid of one of our fridges that broke,, and that was a pain). she responds all snippy saying how she’s been dealing a lot with helping our landlord find new tenants and blah blah blah blah and how she ended up leaving her key so she can’t get back in the house!!!!! (she moved out all of her stuff today since today is the last day and she just casually mentions how she left her key). lemme tell u BITCH WAS MAD (this time im bitch). i was like wow! how convenient for you to just leave your key when you choose to be done with all of this, when there’s clearly still something to work out. she just chose to put this situation between me and the other roommate as we still have our keys and access to the house. like am i psychotic or is that fucking rude? and so i call her out on that and then i’m like yeah that should be an obligation after you pulled out so last minute on our landlord and us lol.

so that’s my rant. i can’t wait to be done for good with this whole housing situation. i doubt any of my 7,455 followers read this entire thing, but if you did hi! hope you’re doing well lol. if u seriously did care to read this, plz lmk what u think. like am i crazy or do i have a right to be mad i’m stressin rn. anyway xoxoxo plz stay safe and healthy. stay away from people who will screw you over!

#rant

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tfw-no-tennis · 5 years ago

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hhhhhhxh

more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla

so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)

also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????

i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika??????

this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude

what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend

oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......

leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo

or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse

GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow

does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic

ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious

man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid

killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst

killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey

I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute

why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this

wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????

leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh

killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid

illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now

gon: wow killuas family sounds wack... satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest

KILLUA ;_;

this poor baby assassin :( :( :(

IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH

meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD

like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me

this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks

i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son

DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole

all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow

i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....

LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_;

and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general

i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently

of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu

also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)

ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy

god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face

LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm

illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^(

KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave

illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique?

‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now

leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse

also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js

illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh

classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!

killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo

and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO

and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss

this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord

god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down

oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling

AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff

tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad

‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family

of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents

kurapika should be a lawyer tbh

leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead

HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it

pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn

tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion

gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough

gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.

also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect

ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo

PREDICTIONS:

i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao

i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e

also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao

i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao

as for this upcoming arc - ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially

im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao

#excited 2 see moreeee #lj watches hxh #hxh

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survivor-halsingland · 3 years ago

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Ep. 1: "There's 100% going to be a Canada alliance." - Amy

Amy

Initial reaction of cast reveal: I’m toast But for real this can go a couple of ways for me, none of which have me seeing myself make merge lol. I’m either going to be a very early boot here or be nice and active enough to solidify a place for a while. Lots of familiar and unfamiliar faces. Hopefully the people familiar with me won’t want to immediately vote me out. I have already mentioned to Derrick that I played with DeNara before, so hopefully we can bond over that and it not be used against me. I have explicitly asked Jared to not exclusively lie to me this go haha but we both said we were more playing for the other half of our duos and just agreed to do it. I was excited to see Blue on my tribe and I also know Leanne, and have already had a good chat with Klied - but his name does have “lie” in it 👀. Honestly I want to do a quick portion of divide and conquer, I planned on chilling in a pool tomorrow and going to drag bingo with Ava. But no one has solidly chosen anything so they are really about to force me to be tribe leader and sort this out. Things I look forward to: vibes, chatting with cool people, meeting people, twists, and drama Things I will not be doing: sitting on hours and hours of video calls. Not my style. But I know several people in this game love it. Let the good times roll y’all

Kenneth

HERE WE GO AGAIN! i'm fresh off of ingary, but jay has magic powers and pulled me in to another season of a potential clown fiesta <3 but seriously, this already seems a lot more enticing and spicy because of the theme in itself and how the challenges and idol hunt are structured so i am very excited to play :) i learned a lot about my last game and i will improve on it (hopefully) by taking more risks and plays that WILL be appreciated by the jury, and not be overly attached to people, which would result to tunnel vision. the first challenges are already pretty great, and i cannot wait to play this game. TO WIN! hehe >:)destiny i’m super confused about a lot of stuff tbh but everyone on my tribe is so nice and welcoming and i’m sure i’ll get the hang of it all soon :) i’m excited to be playing and just hoping i don’t screw things up for my tribe :/

AmyThis tribe is exhausting. Challenges where I need to send a photo back quickly really hate me. My phone took like a minute to actually send the photo, but Waldo went well. Except I started in the bottom right looking with vertical transects and Waldo was hiding in the bottom left 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Woulda been 30 seconds had I started over there. But I’m already expecting tribal so I’m just hoping I wasn’t the worst portion of our challenges haha!

Leanne

Not very much to share so far. Some people on this tribe are much bigger talkers than others, Jared, Derrick, Klied, and Amy. It’s been harder to get Convo from Jesse and Blue, and I’ve barely heard from Josh or Aubree. I wonder if other people have had the same experience. Haven’t dared try game talk with anyone yet. Hoping I’m not behind, but it’s only day 2 right? Maybe I’ll try to put some feelers out with Amy. Maybe I’ll tell her about some things in the idol hunt and see if she’ll give me anything in return, maybe try to get a partnership going. I’m glad she’s on my tribe, but also a little bit scared because I’ve seen exactly how good she is. Aside from that, the person I feel best about right now is Derrick. We’ve had some good chats and seem to connect well. Hope he feels the same way. And Moth. I’m especially nervous about them. When we played before we didn’t exactly hit it off, but I think we’re both… trying. I hope we can have a new start this time, a new story. And from what I know of them they are a very loyal allies so, here’s hoping. Also happy to see Sarah here, and my yinzer JG. Maybe he and my dad can bond over that? And that’s all I’ve got so far. God I hope I did enough in the challenge today. *whines* I don’t wanna go to tribal first!

Jared

Don't mind me making a confessional before the game even starts, call me a game changer. https://youtu.be/JFOxzamkcH8

Jared

Not one, but two, confessionals before the game even begins. Sorry not sorry! https://youtu.be/SETx-0LoI9E

Shawn

Well, things are going good so far! I think anyway. Although I like everyone on my team, I do have to say it's odd playing with someone whose older than my father is, Frank. Usually I like to take charge in games like this, I like to be the leader. Yet, with Frank, it's difficult because he's so much older, I feel like I'm a little kid around him. I don't wanna tell him what to do, because I don't wanna be disrespectful? I'm so excited so far though, absolutely loving the challenge and how we get to pick! Im not that bright so I'm happy I can do creative stuff.

Aubree

This is my first BvW confession! Idk about the other tribe, but the Mysa Tribe is super chill. Most of the conversations yesterday consisted of everyone saying hi and that they were busy and would be active later. Day 2 and the activity level is still the same, which is kind of a relief since I am much more of an introvert. I have been trying to be the first to reach out to people since I feel that is something I have struggled with in past ORGs I’ve played in. I’m usually the reserved/silently-strategic player, but I’m going to try and be more proactive for this game. Ive talked to Klied, Jared, Amy and Leanne a decent amount and have enjoyed our conversations. I know of Amy due to the games she has played with Sarah, so I am hoping that works in my favor. Amy did say that Sarah voted her out in the first game they played in, so that could work one of two ways for my game… like if it came down to a vote between me or Sarah later on?? but maybe it is too soon to think that far ahead? Lol Even though I’m an Art Teacher I chose to steer away from the Creative part to our first challenge. Tbh I’m so burnt out irl when it comes to being creative due to my job, so I’m okay with taking a step back from the creative challenges for now. I’ve enjoyed being a part of the Scavenger Hunt, even though it was a bit harder than expected. I was so stoked to have a Starry Night print, but since it wasn’t real it didn’t count… Like who the heck has a REAL VAN GOGH?? (Or quick access to one) LOL As much as I would LOVEEE to have an original painting, that teacher salary-bracket doesn’t allow for that!! Lol I haven’t had anyone directly ask to me to be in an alliance with them… so that is - interesting? I’m used to the last two games I played where it felt like everything was very paced. Now, It’s either A) everyone is just chillin’ and not wanting to rush things or B) bonds HAVE already started to form but I’m not a part of them? I guess things will spend up more after the first challenge is over and we see where our strengths and weaknesses are in the tribe. Until then! - Aubree

Moth

Hi!! I’m back again and playing with someone I know. I actually happen to be on call with Destiny as I type this but like- were vibing And also once again I’m starting off on the wrong foot, not at home when the game starts.

Moth

I don’t trust Jared Straight up And I feel like that’s fair- Twice I’ve been voted out for my connections to Kyoshi island and it’s really fucking frustrating- Jared apologized and sounded sincere but idk I trust people too easily.. Brayden, Denara, and Leanne are also all in this game All people I’ve played with Leanne I don’t trust right off the bat. I tried that before but like- that didn’t work for me. I just want to at least make it to the merge

Frank

Having fun, learning as I get going. Truly impressed by the comraderi among people whom I've never met. Old dogs, new tricks, this is cool.

Klied

The game is going pretty well so far! Everyone has been really nice and supportive of one another. I hope this tribe dynamic continues for the next rounds of the game! :>

Moth

I fucked it up I genuinely feel really bad because everyone’s so confident in me- And I’m totally going to be a target now

Moth

Ohhhhh thank god Thank god because I was absolutely going to be on the chopping block if we lost I don’t want to be first out That being said

I don’t want Destiny to be first out either

Shawn

I'm not very happy tonight with how things went. I truly believe the other team deserved the win, the video was creative and a lot of effort was put into it! I think it was a great thing. But I disappointed that we lost so many of the challenges. I'm also getting annoyed that people are being present on the chat. I feel like it's me and another tribe member that is putting in all the work. Not impressed, but whatever. I just really hope I don't get voted off tomorrow.

Kenneth

welp i bombed the where's waldo challenge and my team lost by a hair in the riddles challenge because of an advantage so rip. i really hope i don't get voted off first because i severely underperformed in the challenge akjdnsajkndkjsnd i'd be really disappointed in myself :/

Amy

Shocked. Absolutely shocked we aren't headed to tribal lol. And here I thought my 4 minutes on Waldo was too slow but it was enough. Honestly we are lucky Blue's quit disadvantage was only what it was bc they quit after 30 minutes apparently. All these advantages at play! And I'm sitting here with a disadvantage. I think I'm clearly doing the idol hunt wrong 😆 all I have is a disadvantage from poison feast food and a chipmunk named Wadsworth in my pocket. Based on how little anyone is speaking I was certain we'd be going to tribal hands down no question. So I am very, very happy we avoided it in the end. I think it would have been between Jessie and Josh though bc they aren't active. I would have voted Jessie bc Josh did the video even after saying he didn't actually want to do the creative part so that's major props to him in my book! I am very curious as to who the other tribe is going to vote off in the end. I hope it's no one I want to make it far. Oh basically I know I'm probably not making merge so I'm trying to align things to get certain people farther and get other people out. I'm rooting for a newbie to take it. Anyway woo day off and I won't be first boot. Fingers crossed it's not Ava. I wouldn't be surprised if she was targeted for her association with me. Love this game! Love this cast! Love the idol hunt! The reward challenge was the most fun bc Ava and I were incredibly intoxicated after Drag Bingo and we did better each time! The last one we went "office" and "turnip" and literally bust out laughing and both said "Nate". I would like to personally apologize to Ellie for having to witness that nonsense. Thank you to everyone! Oh one last thing. I did not want to work with jared at all but it looks like I am going to be forced to do so. I think I have to put trust in Jared and in Leanne who has voted me out of two games prior 😆 but that's me always just bonding most with the people who are active and want to talk to me.

Amy

There's 100% going to be a Canada alliance.

Aubree

Who won the first challenge?? MYSA DID! Woot woot! Even though Jared, Jessie and I didn’t win the Scavenger Hunt portion after the advantages were added in - we did win as far as how many total objects were found, so I’m pretty proud about that! To top it off Sarah and I won the Reward Challenge!!!! We both get 3 stat points to add to our Idol Hunt… which I have yet to do… I should probably do that tomorrow O_o

Avat

hings are going well i think!!! i've had a lot of fun and i sorta vibe with everyone so far on the tribe. i'm really hyped and fingers crossed we do well. i've been sorta inactive with my challenge bc of work but i'm doing what i can for now. more to come soon

DeNara

Well this is my first confessional of the game and oh my is this going to be an interesting game. Initial impressions of my tribe...... Sarah +Jodi- frenemies because they are so good at survivor Frank- I really like him. He seems like a cool dude Kenneth- Seems cool, I may want to work with him, but he seems to be playing harder than he should so early Brayden- Didn't get the best first impression, but that could change Shawn- Super quiet, then they started chatting so that helped Ava, J.G., Destiny- Really inactive so I don't really know- potential first vote I want to work with Sarah, Frank and maybe Kenneth. Jodi would be good to work with although who knows what she is thinking. Everyone else I will stay open to working with, but really don't care too much as of yet.

DeNara

The first challenge was weird because everyone just took their roles and stopped talking. I HATE QUIET. Period. The creative challenge on my tribe wasn't super creative imo, but they tried. I didn't help in the scavenger hunt as much as I wanted too so that sucks, but at least we won that part so that looks good. I am so excited for this idol hunt! It is amazing! Props to the hosts! WE LOST, DAMMIT. At least Derrick won't be the first boot. I hope I am not either or HE WILL NOT STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT IT AND I WILL DIE.

DeNara

Well it is chaos now. Shawn has made an alliance with Sarah, Kenneth, and myself. I like the safety of that. Jodi, Sarah and myself also made a Subrosa alliance (we all knew that would happen) and I feel like this will keep me safe for a while at least. Both Sarah and Jodi want to work with Brayden and potentially Kenneth so we may make an alliance of 5 with them- but that also means Sarah and I would have to talk to Kenneth about not telling Jodi about the other alliance and that could be very risky early on.... hmmm idk about that. Also, Frank is my dude. I hope he stays. I think I am going to lean towards J.G. or Destiny.

Sarah

https://youtu.be/RzlLHyHZguQ

Kenneth

I am now in 2 alliances: one with denara, sarah, and shawn, and another one with ava and brayden! i feel good about both alliances, with the first one feeling solid and loyal (for now), and the second one for the long term! i feel very solid about sarah and denara, i feel like i can last long with them as my good allies. jodi's a tricky one, because i know she's a damn good player, but it's better to keep her on my side for now until an opportune time to make a move (and i actually really like talking to her!).

Jared

me: i'm gonna try to make this concise also me: 8 minutes on the very first episode where i'm not even going to tribal oh boy

Brayden

https://youtu.be/reALs2hizjk hey everyone I'm here

DeNara

So now I am in a bunch of alliances. I guided Kenneth to make an alliance chat with Sarah and me to tell us to keep our alliances with 1. Shawn and 2. Brayden and Jodi a secret. Insert evil laugh here lol. So all together right now I should have Sarah, Jodi, Kenneth, Brayden, Shawn and Frank backing me, so I shouldn't be first boot. It sounds like we are going for Destiny because they aren't very active, which was the name Kenneth threw out first so he is getting what he wants without upsetting me.

Ava

so so so bummed about going to tribal i thought we had it in the bag especially with our advantages but alas... i formed an alliance with brayden and kenneth which i'm super obsessed with i really like both of them - hopefully this means safety for tomorrow. i hate working two jobs and the week after next ill be working just one which is just so fucking sweet fingers crossed i can make it that long in this game. anyway that's all for now

Jodi

I'm so happy to be back. This time, I promise to play a chill Jodi game as I said in my intro, and I want to relax and enjoy this twist of a season. Jared and I are thrilled to play our second season together in the actual format of BvW, and we will be playing our own games. So far, I'm glad to have Denara, Sarah, Brayden on my tribe, as we all know each other but never played before (except Brayden). I want to keep an open mind and play fluidly. Kenneth told Brayden within 10 mins of the game starting that he was scared of me, but I hope I can gain the trust of people and not play as flashy as people remember me for. Looking forward to the connections I make!

Jodi

I promised y'all a chill Jodi game and here i am, delivering it. I think. DeNara and Sarah immediately made the "The Best of SubRosa" chat because obviously that was bound to happen, but additionally, the 3 of us are in an alliance with Brayden and Kenneth called "the clock" (because of our time zones ahahahaha). This game's dynamic is so different because even though we hate going to tribal, it also means that our loved ones are safe from tribal, which sometimes, could be better. I hope Jared is doing good on the other side. Obviously I trust Sarah and DeNara but I also know Sarah will cut my throat when it needs to happen, even if she gonna be crying while doing it, so I'll just...not be blinded by that. I trust Brayden 100%, Kenneth calling me scary is not great but I guess he rather be with me than against me, for now. Y'all Ingary kids what did you say about me??? LMAOO ♥️ I did ask him why he didn't cause ruckus at 5 and whip out the superidol and he said "tunnel vision". Hey that's two of us I guess!

Sarah

https://youtu.be/RzlLHyHZguQJessie So I’m still working on making like connections and stuff but we won the first challenge so no tribal which is a very good thing . ❤️ I’m enjoying this interactive scavenger hunt and I’m totally not trying to pull a Danni from Midsommar lol.

Brayden

hey guys im in a 5 person alliance rn with jodi sarah denara and kenneth and i feel pretty good and excited bc i think ill win this whole game but sadly destiny is prob leaving tonight <\3

Derrick

First challenge done. We rocked it! I don't really have any sort of alliance at this point but I seem to be getting along with everyone. Josh didn't seem to put too much effort into our creative set up but it still worked out OK. It was unfortunate I was on my trip at the time as I could have done so much more with. I think as long as we support eachother we can rock every challenge that comes our way!joshIM SOO HAPPY WE WON! our tribe seems to be like friendly but i havent made any alliances i think so idk if im in a good spot if we lose a challenge but we didnt this time so🙃ShawnEveryone in the tribe is messaging about Destiny, and that is who everyone is thinking of voting off. I'm still thinking of voting Frank off, and I think that's who I'm going for. He's not good at technology, and this whole game is about technology! We lost the creative challenge because all we could do with him was write! Still, everyone thinks because Destiny isn't very active she should be the one to go. I'm not sure what I want to do. JGOh hey! Here we are round one. I feel so out of it playing this game. For the first time in a while, I barely know any of the other players. Which is refreshing and tough. I also feel like my social game is kind of lacking but that is kind of my brand for round 1. I have had some great one on one conversations with DeNara, Jodi, and Sarah. I've talked to Brayden and Kenneth as well a little bit less than the first three. Shawn and Ava, barely. Frank and Destiny not at all. The vote should be Destiny since we sadly lost. Which works for me. I feel the closest with DeNara and Sarah. Really hoping I can start to get my footing. If we were to lose again, Frank would probably go but I don't wanna put myself in the line of fire again. Well here's hoping things improve. Hopefully, I'm not blindsided. Here we go.blueMy tribe seems pretty cool so far, everyone is nice and seems pretty active so thats nice. Shawns going to tribal so I hope theyre gonna be safe :(((DeNara As far as I know, the vote is going to be Destiny. I feel bad for them for not getting the chance to play, and I feel really bad for Moth, they always have the worst luck in ORGs. That being said I sure hope nothing crazy happens tonight or I will cry 100% Tribal, here I come...AubreeThere is hardly any game talk (at least from where I’m standing), so I may start trying to get a feel of where people are at by asking some game-related questions in the tribe chat. Don’t get me wrong, I love the personal chit-chats… BUT I’m also feeling a bit empty-handed as far as knowing everyone’s game motives. Maybe I’m being too bold… idk. I’m not normally the one to standout in ORGs, so hopefully my tribe doesn’t take this as me prying… even though I guess I kinda am?? 😬 “Oof look at me being all dangerous and shit!” 😤🤘🏼😂blueSO here are more detailed thoughts on my tribe. Amy of course is a queen and a legend and we've played together before and have a good rapport. Leanne is so kind and so funny, and I would be super down for working with her. Jared is SO nice I get really good vibes and really enjoy talking to him. Aubree is also very nice and seems genuinely interested in my irrelevant stories 10/10 good vibes. Moth is dope as expected and turns out we have a lot of the same interests ie. witcher and the mcelroys very fun. The rest are yet to be determined.AmyI would like to start out by saying that Brayden's video during their tribal almost made me seasick thanks buddy. So today was a DAY. It was a day off and like I had a weird day at work lol 😆 and then I remembered there was the task of talking to people who h i slacked on today whoops sorry. But for half these people idk if they even noticed bc my tribe is so quiet. Did I already say I tried asking Jessie what their favorite berry was? Like that's how exhausting conversation has been most all around. I think I'm talking to Leanne, Derrick, and Jared the most. I am begging for bygones to be bygones. But anyway I was trying to do a little of the hunt throughout the day bc after seeing

all those advantages last go I was SHOCKED. Then at the end of work I made it to thevpart where I was talking to the grumpy sad flower crown man and after falling on my weak ass on a ladder I picked the lock with a bobbypin and charisma's him to make me a flower crown which got me to the maypole which had me do a scavenger hunt and I got an idol. Writing this all out is absolutely hilarious. But yeah I have an idolllllllllllllllllllll which I don't want to use anytime soon. But I have a feeling I'm going to struggle to make merge. Anyway I got this idol like directly after the other tribe finishing tribal and I love a funny timing like that. I'm glad Ava survived weee! And wow they have some very vocal tribe members haha I'm sure Denara and Jodi are working together which tracks bc I've been closest to both of them individually in prior games early on. Curious if it will stick. So next was rock paper scissors for which I have a 10% disadvantage which apparently applies to the overall tribe score ☠️ . I won my game against Brayden who was at seemingly a raging Big Brother watch party. Sorry buddy. But we've been chatting like he asked how josh was and I said Josh is great and really stepped up to the plate for the creative challenge even though it wasn't what he wanted and also he loves tom holland so I instantly trust him. Then he said everyone likes ava bc she's just so cool and yes I get it I am personally intimidated by how cool Ava is and I have to be around that cool level every day honestly I don't know why she talks to me but she's a badass. Anyyywayyyy he doesn't seem keen on actually talking game and I need to figure out if I need to just tell my tribe I have a disadvantage rn or be like what the fuck the other tribe is so mean to give me a disadvantage 😭 Anyway excited to explore the hunt some more and this game is so fun. If we go to tribal I think Jessie is most at risk tbh. Okay that's all bye ❤️

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sugaabooga · 7 years ago

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lowkey part-timer!Jisung

Pairing: Yoon Jisung x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Christmas-themed, bullet-point scenario

Summary: A Christmas romance sparks between you and the cute, bubbly part-timer in your local grocery store.

Warnings: None

A/N: First story in the Christmas-themed scenarios I’m doing! I’m hoping I’ll be able to finish all of the rest 17 scenarios by Christmas!

Jisung was the cute part-timer at your local grocery store

He’s been working as the cashier in aisle 8 after he’s graduated from uni after he couldn’t find a job that pays decently

He decided to stay in his hometown, after suffering in a totally new city, and got a part-time job as a cashier that paid pretty well

You on the other hand, bought your own studio after moving out of your hometown

Your job as a photographer caused you move out and go to other places rather than your small town that always made you feel caged

You were putting together all your pictures you had taken the past week since you had to put out a new project soon

You decided to take a break and have a quick lunch then walk around to the parts of the city that you hadn’t been able to see yet

When you come out of your studio with all your necessities, you realize that a bunch of people were putting up Christmas decor and trees around their shops

It was Christmas? Already?

You celebrated Christmas, for you were a religious person, but you never got the whole holiday spirit type of thing

You didn’t really enjoy Christmas songs or the cold really

when you came out of your house you had only slipped on a thin cardigan with your camera and everything in your purse

You hated the cold

You had once been locked out of your house one winter and had to wait outside until your parents got back home from work

You were practically frozen when your dad discovered you covering your body with the welcome mat

So yah you had a trauma of the cold

You quickly take some pictures of the snow and all the people getting on ladders to decorate the light posts and rooftops

You smile at your work and skip down the sidewalk to the farther parts of town

You find yourself in front of a market which you had never seen before even when you were driving around when you first came

Maybe it was new?

You went in since you were hungry anyway and they most likely had samples

Meanwhile, Jisung was helping some of the other workers take out boxes and such, since no one was really in the lines

You were eating some of the sample dumplings when you see a chip bag fall

You’re about to pick it up when you feel more chip bags falling on you

You lift up your arms to shield yourself and let out a small shriek

You lose your balance when a heavy box falls on you

“OMG I’M SO SORRY! ARE YOU OKAY!?!? OMG OMG!”

You’re ready to give the guy a piece of your mind

But then all your thoughts are lost bc

Wow

This guy was cute

He was almost pouting while putting the bags back in the box

He noticed that you were standing back up so he quickly got up and bowed to you

“I’m so sorry….I-I didn’t see you there!”

You’re about to tell him it’s okay, but then suddenly a man who seemed like the manager came storming over

“YOON JISUNG!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? JUST BC IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS TIME IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD LOSE YOUR WORKING MENTALITY! YO-”

“It’s fine! It was my fault! I suddenly stepped in front of him while he was passing.”

You defend jisung and he’s actually really surprised!?!?

Bc a normal person would be complaining w/the manager

And it would end up w/jisung mopping the floors or something

Yea this wasn’t the first time jisung caused trouble lol

But here you were LYING so he wouldn’t get in trouble

The manager is left speechless bc he kinda looks down on Jisung

So he storms away annoyed

Jisung glances at his furious manager then thanks you

“This isn’t the first time this happened & i prob would’ve gotten fired. thank you so much”

You grin bc omg he was so cute?

His santa hat was about to fall off so you reach over and straighten it up

Making jisungs cheeks turn soo red you thought he was gonna burst

You leave after that whole incident and you come back a week later

You just couldn’t get jisung out of your mind

You were sorta hoping to see him somewhere around the area where you live but no luck:P

So you just decided to go to his workplace yourself

When you entered, you were really shocked bc it was reallyyyyy busy

There were so many more ppl than last time

It was prob bc Christmas was now a week away

And ppl just buy presents last minute ya know

They were also preparing more food for family&friends so yah

You grab a pack of gum and head to the shortest line which was aisle 8

You were looking at your pics that you took earlier and that’s when you hear a familiar voice greet the elderly woman in front of you

You look up w/hope that it was Jisung and boi oh boi yes it was

This time he was wearing a headband w/reindeer ears that were somehow slightly slanted

After he greets the woman in front of you goodbye he turns to you with a smile then it falters when he notices

Wow it’s that really cute girl that defended me from my devil-ish manager

You just politely smile, not knowing if he remembered you since you were irrelevant ya know

But then he totally remembers you bc

“OMG IM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN! DO YOU REMEMBER ME? AH~ AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAVING ME FROM GETTING FIRED!”

“......uh...no problem?”

He grins and tries to make small talk w/you which is cute aha

Even tho you’re only buying one pack of gum

He somehow takes ten minutes to scan the barcode and charge you ???

I can’t with jisung he’s such a cute, underappreciated bean

You were in the middle of a very intense convo about beavers so you decide to meet him at a nearby coffee shop on Christmas Eve (may or may not be where barista!daniel works but you should go check it out :P shameless self-promo)

Both of you forget to give ea. other your numbers

But hopefully both of you will remember about that date meeting

AND YOU DO

fate really is on your side

You enter the coffee shop at like 6pm bc you weren’t sure if you guys decided the exact time to meet

You guys didn’t lol

But ya know

Fate will bring the two of you together right?

You wait for thirty minutes, but still no Jisung

You’re starting to think that he forgot, but then remembered he had a shift that ends at 9pm

Idk how you knew that but...it works

so you decide to just sit there and sip on some drinks

you take pictures and all

You’re so immersed into taking pictures of everything around the whole shop, that you don’t notice the timid and nervous looking man entering the now, almost empty cafe

You’re frowning at the picture you just took when you feel a tap on your shoulder

You turn around to see Jisung with a sorry, but excited grin on his face

You greet him with a wide smile as he apologizes how he didn’t know what time he had to come

He starts to ramble and you shush him

Like why does this guy say ‘sorry’ so many times?

“It’s fine. We both forgot to say a time to meet up. Besides, I wasn’t here that long”

He seems a tiny bit less sorry so the two of you start the convo about the beavers again

The talk about beavers went to zoos then went to how your lives went then led to your jobs, your interests, your hobbies, what that girl was wearing, blah blah blah

You felt like you really had a connection w/jisung

The two of you, as cliche as it may sound, clicked immediately

It only felt like five minutes passed, but the coffee shop owner had to kick you guys out since it was thirty minutes past closing time

You swap numbers this time and plan to meet each other at the same place tmrw @ 7pm for the annual Christmas tree lighting at downtown

Both of you lived alone and you suggested “why not have the loners meet up on Christmas Day?”

Jisung didn’t have work and you didn’t want to stress about your projects, so the two of you had agreed

As you walk back home you cant help but feel so giddy

How was a man having this much of an effect on you?

BECAUSE YOU HAVE A THING FOR HIMMMM

You smile at all the snow piling up and gape at how beautiful everything seemed

You have never felt so excited for Christmas

The next day comes by SO SLOWLYYYY

You weren’t able to sleep from the anxiousness and expectation you had for the next day so you were sorta tired

But you got dressed in simple clothing and went out for a walk and to buy Jisung a Christmas present

You didn’t know what he liked since you literally starte talking to him a wk ago

So you settle for some Christmas-themed socks, beanie, a pair of house slippers, and a gift card to the coffee shop you had been at yesterday

As you walk in and out of stores, you couldnt help but sing along to the Christmas carols that were playing

which you had never done b4

you did a double take and stopped singing, but you found urself humming along to “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”

And you also couldn’t help but oogle at all the stuffed animals that filled the walls

They were SO CUTEEE AND FLUFFYYYY

One of the stuffed ducks reminded you a lot of Jisung so you decided to buy it

You bought a lot of things, but they were all for a decent price so :))

It gets really dark really soon and it’s 6pm

ONE MORE HOUR TILL YOU MET JISUNG

You hurry back home and quickly dress in layers since it was going to be collldddd

The weather forecast said there was a 99.99999999% it was going to snow, so you couldn’t risk it

Even tho the weather forecast is always wrong

You pack your camera again bc you were planning to create a Christmas themed project nxt

As you run out the door you send Jisung a txt saying that you’ll be right there since it was five minutes till seven

When you arrive in the warm shop, your glasses immediately fog up causing you to groan

You try to fan the fog away but to no avail:)

Then you hear a big laugh and you turn to sorta make out a figure that looks like Jisung

He takes the end of his sleeve and cleans your glasses and you’re met with the brightest smile you have ever seen in your whole entire life

Maybe that’s when you fell for him

Tho it was a person you had known for a little over a week

You felt like you knew Jisung since you were a kid

He hands you a cup of peppermint hot chocolate and pulls you along to get a good view of the Christmas tree b4 too much ppl come along

You get there just in time and wait a few moments until the announcer comes out onto the podium

You and Jisung both cheer as the five minute countdown starts

The minutes go by so quickly and you jump up and down to keep yourself warm

Then you see a few snowflakes falling on Jisung

You both look up to see that ITS SNOWINGGGGGGG

The whole crowd of people ooh and ahh

And some kids squeal in glee

You softly smile and get out your camera to take a few shots of the falling snow

When you’re done there’s a minute left on the clock

You suddenly remember your present for Jisung and quickly get it out and hand it to him

“Merry Christmas!”

Jisung gasps and says ‘thank you’ in such a genuine way that it fills your heart w/pure happiness

He then shuffles around his backpack and takes out a large box that’s prob filled w/similar things as you gave him

You start to hear the announcer countdown from 10

ten

And that’s when Jisung starts to speak

“H-Hey, Y/N?”

Nine

“Hmm?”

Eight

“I know it’s been only like two weeks since we met”

Seven

But I can tell you’re such a nice person, ever since the day I first saw you”

Six

“You’re such a great person…and….uh”

You furrow your brows

What was he trying to say?

Five

“We have so many things in common than I thought we would”

Four

“I really thought i would get fired that day i dropped the chip bags on you”

You smile at the memories as the crowd gets louder and louder as the time to light the tree get closer

Three

“A-And ever since I saw you....Y/N...I uh”

You roll your eyes at his weird stalling

Two

“JISUNG! SPIT IT OUT!”

He looks at you w/wide eyes

One

“I-I LIKE YOU!”

The crowd erupts in cheers and claps w/kids screaming and laughing at the lights that shown brightly

The announcer shouts “now go home!” with a hearty laugh

Jisung stands in front of you with his hand clamped over his mouth

You stay silent and stare at him in shock

What were you supposed to say?

Sure you liked him, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to date someone you had known for a week

“T-THAT CAME OUT WRONG!”

you tilt your head in confusion

“What?”

“I don’t like you! NO NO I DO LIKE YOU! B-BUT-”

You burst out laughing at his panic

“I like you too, Jisung! But how bout having our first official date after getting to know each other a bit longer than a week?”

And the two of you stand in front of each other w/goofy smiles on your faces, in front of the glimmering, 30ft tall Christmas tree, underneath the moonlight in the gently falling snow

dang this was pretty bad lol

#wanna one #wanna one scenarios #yoon jisung #yoon jisung scenarios #yoon jisung fluff #yoon jisung christmas #christmas scenario #thx for reading:))#christmas package #wanna one jisung #jisung au #wanna one au

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skinks · 7 years ago

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Pure Moments i want to remember about my conversation with nothing,nowhere the other night that will be of no importance to anyone else, but where else am i gonna put them huh, it’s my blog:

he had a fractured, or maybe it was a broken ankle? he broke it running and while on bedrest watched all of stranger things in two days. they made him take his cast off at customs lmao

likes synthwave. likes kavinsky!!!

i can’t get over this but he’s smol, like 5′5′’ or 6" maybe

when he first came over and hugged me he was like “aaaah you got the hoodie!” and i told him i had my reaper shirt on too and he said “oh you’re doubled up!!” skdfkjlskdj

it was a GOOD HUG MY DUDES no one arm dealio, no sir, he came at me with his arms out and we HUGGED. i probably said “hi, oh my god”

i think i managed to stutter about how amazing the set was and how much i loved the huge drums, and he was like “oh thanks yeah, we tried to make it-” and that’s when the others came over

one of them asked where the tour was headed next and he couldn’t remember so he went RUMMAGING down the front of his multiple huge layers til he found his lanyard, peered at it, and said “…. birming-ham?????” cute™

said “harry potter is sick” and then got really excited when we told him about the studio tour in london

has cute lil pointy TEETH

im p sure he’s vegan, and he’s big into nature and outdoorsy ecofriendly living, and talked about wanting to start a kind of sustainable community. said he’s rly interested in, and wants to teach bushcraft “and like…. chopping wood” but he said it so lamely after all the passion, it was funny as fuck. someone said he should visit the isle of skye and he was like “that sounds like something from skyrim!”

he said he saw us in the crowd cause we were being… Fairly enthusiastic

said his family are really supportive; i asked if his parents like his music and he got this really shy look and nodded, then told us he went home recently and opened the door to find them playing his album and he was like “mom you’re embarrassing me”

i mentioned this in my other post but i can’t believe we like the same fucking philosopher, how goddamn wanky is that

the other girl had done her own n,n print on her shirt and he took photos and when we were on the train home she got notifications saying he liked the posts on ig…. a sweetheart…

when we were talking about other soundcloud musicians i mentioned loving his collab with yung jza and he said “oh yeah, that dude is super underrated”

he told us his old rap name in like 2006 was “average joe” lmfhgkshfsk

he went to film school, and i saw an opportunity to ask him something i’d always wondered about. on this collab album he made with a producer called oilcolor, there’s a song that uses a sample from a movie, so i said “of all the movies, i was not expecting The Vow” and he started laughing and said “that was oilcolor! he was like ‘i think this’d be tight’ and i was like ‘hmmmmmmmmmm’ and he was like ‘nah trust me, this’ll be tight’ and i was like ‘…….yeah, this is tight’”

it was rly fuckin funny how he said it. saddest emotrap boy n,n thinks the vow starring channing tatum and rachel mcadams is tight

he’s made mountain dew commercials, but now he gets to make music full time which is awesome

i asked if he listened to metal and he said sometimes he skates to older stuff, like iron maiden, and he asked what i’m into and i promptly FORGOT EVERY METAL BAND I’VE EVER HEARD and i said “uhhh, like, more modern stuff” and he went “like gojira?” and i agreed and he said something else but i couldn’t hear

he likes the movies the revenant and captain fantastic

at one point we were talking about the merch (when i bought my hoodie the merch guy asked which shirt i had and i showed him, and he was like “aw man, i’m his friend and i don’t even have that one!” lmao) and i said that i liked the shirt his merch guy was wearing, and we were all peering over at the dude when he looked up, and n,n was like “we’re just making fun of you, don’t worry” jghskdgllhgfhafd

he used to do muay thai!!! i meant to ask if he liked martial arts movies but i forgot :’( next time fer sure

told us Xclusives about upcoming music, shhh

we talked about music a ton obviously and i mentioned this soundcloud rapper collective called disaster club cause i’ve been listening to both their songs all summer and he was like “disaster club? i’m in disaster club” and i thought i misheard him so i was like “wh-what? no fuckin way!”. he said something like, he’s on the producing side but he should try and get on a track and it blew my mind a little

he’s learning the piano, we were talking about making music and i said i played it and he was like “that’s so cool! i’m trying to learn”

he was just… so open about his life, for someone whose persona surrounding the music is so anonymous and defensive, it was really wonderful. plus he was super patient about photos and other ppl coming up to our little convo

one dude came up and was like “you’re welcome back any time, any venue, small venue, my house, my bedroom……… uh- my spare bedroom” and he just laughed and thanked him the dude was actually tungle user suppressyourdemons and in fact said: “ "You're welcome back to the uk at any time, your band can stay in my bedroom (then thought that sounded sketchy) so said spare bedroom" “ sorry i misquoted you my dude, joe was appreciative regardless

shdjjfjckfjsg I forgot that at one point my new pal cammy told him that he listens to his stuff at the gym and n,n was laughing cause his stuff is Sad and totally not workout music, and I was like "so people think you're sweating but it's actually tears?" and he laughed more. I stole that joke from a post about drake but whatever, it made him laugh

OH YEAH i didn’t realise at the time but he signed my album by underlining his name with a lil reaper scythe… cause skully/reaper motif… idk that’s super goddamn adorable to me. i’m hugging it to my chest rn because two days later i’m still an emotional wreck

he gave my pen back and was like “that is a dope fuckin pen by the way” or something to that effect, then i DROPPED IT and he went to pick it up but he had a broked up foot so i did instead

i know this is all mundane as fuck to you if you’re reading this but i don’t waNT TO FORGET ANYTHING! nothing fuckin nowhere was gonna get my pen for me cause i’m a doofus! he hugged me twice lads! fuck!!

i asked what his favourite video was to make and we joked about the hearse in skully and he was like “yeah that’s just my regular car”

we were all talking at once about our favourite songs of his and i said “bedhead always makes me cry” and he was like “aw man, bedhead? that’s old school” and he looked pleased ;u;

said he basically wears Hiking Dad clothes all the time

he was great at listening to everything we had to say, he would look and focus on each of us, just as interested in us as we were in him and i’m so so so soosososoo happy i got to experience all of this

fhskjglsgkj while we were talking about disaster club, for some tangential reason i mentioned kpop because one of the verses in a disaster club track starts by quoting exo’s kokobop, and before the word “kpop” was barely even out of my mouth he was like “shimmy shimmy kokobop?”

nothing,nowhere, who i think by now you know means a great deal to me, quoted exo lyrics at me. there’s a reason the whole night feels like a surreal hallucination and that’s why i’m writing all of this down

i mentioned how, when he still had a tumblr i’d written a post and he’d reblogged and replied to it AND HE REMEMBERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he was like “oh yeah, that was a long time ago!”

I KNEW IT WAS HIM WHEN THEY CAME ONSTAGE AT FIRST FOR TWO REASONS! (u gotta remember i’d never seen his face before except for his skullface in the skully video) he was wearing a misogi hoodie, who’s another great soundcloud producer, but the font was like a black metal band lmao. the second reason was his nose. a good nose

the boi’s got Incredible cheekbones. he’s cute as hell but then i’m biased

put his arm right round my shoulder for the photo so i did the same ahhhhhhhhh

i told him how, when i first started listening to his music my main thought was always “is this dude ok?!” and he told us he’s doing better and putting it all into the music and tbh it’s a relief, like. listening to his music has always been cathartic for me,but at the same time i’ve worried about whoever was behind all that pain, for him to be able to write so clearly about depression. but he’s doing well! he said so! i’m extremely glad!

we were talking about the next time he’d be back in the uk and i said hopefully i’d have an n,n tattoo by then and he laughed and said “i don’t even have one yet, and it’s my band! i need to get one”

then we were all joking about something and i said “when you get even bigger, don’t forget about us” meaning the three of us there and he was like “i won’t!”

then he thanked us so goddamn gratefully for coming and said he had to get his cast boot back on his ankle, and i know, i know i am AWARE of how juvenile this sounds but when he hugged us goodbye he hugged me first. i know i was to his immediate left, but it still left me warm and fuzzy

LIKE!!! if that’s how nice it feels to be hugged by someone you’re a fan of, someone to whom you’re, well, just a fan - hugging a s/o must be magical

i’ve hugged so many friends this year. and troy baker. AND NOTHING,NOWHERE! TWICE!

ok bye

#[aerosmith's don't wanna miss a thing playing deafeningly in the distance]#i pray to god he never sees this #he deleted his tumblr a while back so it's ok #nothingnowhere #nothing nowhere #joe mulherin

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wednesdirose · 6 years ago

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So this is the end of my rope.

I am HIGHLY aware of the fact that I have said before that, “Today I want to kill myself more than I ever have before,” but today tops that last time. I may have used that title to... I’m a creature of habit (Also anyone that remembers this: Hello! I think you may be like the fact that i’m still alive, if you were someone cared. That’s probably not gonna last but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

The other day I was depressed and becoming increasingly more suicidal by the moment, so I decided to go to my parents apartment and spend time with my family. Both of my older brothers in the last like 6 months have moved back home so my parents apartment has a lot of people in it (6 people including my little siblings who are not yet old enough to move out). I find just being around people makes me feel better even if I am not actually engaging anyone or being engaged by anyone. I ended up staying for a whole week and a day, and only leaving to go to work once and then returning back because it was still an option. The day before my last day there my brother came home drunk.

He was not only drunk but upset and feeling depressed because of the pressure he is currently feeling as a very talented, under appreciated and taken advantage-of sound engineer. I missed most of him going off and being upset and venting about his current situation but when I came into the convo, It was crazy because he was saying a lot of things I felt but in terms of his own life. I honestly didn’t know what to say other than I know how he feels and to just listen. He apologized for venting and being emotional and unloading on me and my other brother’s girlfriend (whom he was venting to before I came into the room) but I told him that It was totally fine! And that he knows I’m not gonna judge him. I’m honestly the last one who can judge anyone and he and my family knows it because I've almost killed myself before and was sent to a psych ward. I REALLY can’t judge anyone’s problems. This prompted my brother to say that he loves me and he side hugged me and told me this is why I was his favorite and that I was always was understanding that he felt like I understood him even more than his twin sometimes. He told me he wasn’t just saying it because he was drinking and that he had only had a beer and that he wasn’t that drunk( which I believed at the time because he wasn’t slurring his words but my brothers are drinkers and it takes a lot to get them slurring. He also retracted this statement the next day and said that he wasn’t wasted but was totally drunk.) He started saying all sorts of stuff like he really appreciates me and that he always thought that I was awesome and he was glad that I was in his life. He said that he has always admired me because good or bad I’ve always done what I wanted to do and I’ve always done things my way. He said all these things that I’ve always wanted to hear and I remember thinking that this is everything I’ve wanted hear.... BUT it didn’t FEEL like was hearing what I was hearing. It felt like a regular convo. Then he mentioned drinking again and a memory flooded back to me.

You see me and my older brothers have been friends for three-ish years. My older brothers HATED me when we were little and would sometimes bully me. But it wasn’t completely my or their faults. Up until the third grade my father would manipulate me and use me as a weapon against my brothers, which was something I didnt realize until was much older. My father would bribe me with food and affection and things that I wanted in return for me to “tattle” to him about suspicions he had about my brothers. My brother were very mischievous boys, so almost all of the time he was right. My father being a military man was very harsh, and would give them (looking back) EXTREMELY harsh punishments. He punished them the way his father would (a man my father still considers satan and wouldn’t let me meet when he was alive because he was evil.) This made my brothers hate me. And they hated me for most of my life and showed it.

The memory was of a night when I was in 7th grade and my teenage brother came home drunk. REALLY DRUNK. He came to my room and started talking to me and I don’t remember what he said but that was the FIRST time I ever felt like he LIKED me and that I wasn’t alone, which I was starting to feel more and more. He said all these nice things to me and it felt good and it was an important moment to me. The next morning I tried to talk to him about it.... and he smacked me in my face. Hard. And he told me that I was a liar and that it didn’t happen.

In that moment I decided to share this memory with him (even though he was feeling shitty because IM shitty) and he said that he remembered, which is significant because I thought he wouldn’t remember that or tell me I was lying which was a reoccurring thing every time I tried to bring up shitty things they’ve done to me. But he said he remembered and that he was sorry and that he did so many shitty things to me that I probably don’t even remember (Which mind you, I do. I’ve held on tight to every fucked up thing my family members have EVER done to me.) He said he was so sorry for everything and that his problem with me wasn’t really with me but my father and he didn't realize that until he was older. And then it was like 6 am and he needed to go to sleep.

Looking back on this night I realize why I didn’t feel anything when he said the things I wanted someone to tell me and that that memory was a warning and a reminder. That he was only saying those things because he was drunk and in his feelings and that he probably wouldn’t say any of it otherwise.

My WHOLE LIFE I’ve felt alone. The only time I didn’t feel alone is when I was with my “High school sweetheart” of almost 2 years and he left me. He left me because I was broken and depressed and fucked up and I didn't know how to love someone or be in a relationship or treat someone and I was (in hindsight) Very abusively clingy and over barring towards the end. I’ll probably never be able to convince anyone else to stay with me past the dating phase, enter into relationship with me and actually stay.... And I don’t blame them. And Ill probably never find someone as close to perfect for me as he was and I fucked it up because that’s what i’m good at. Ruining everything. He even IMMEDIATELY hopped into a relationship with someone else. SO that can tell you how much of a nightmare I was. He still visits my dreams sometimes, so that tells you how much he impacted me and how much I loved him. Sometimes we get back together in my dreams or are together and those are the hardest fucking mornings. I’m not sure if I miss him or something or what that means.... I think it's just because he is the only person I’ve been able to convince to love me and the only person I’ve TRULY opened up to and who knew (the high school version of) the real me and still wanted to be with me...

My father left my mother when I was like 12 years old. And when they divorced he basically divorced me too. He moved out and I didnt see him for a while because he “didnt have furniture” or whatever. Then we (me and my little sister) would barely go over his house because he always had some fabulous excuse. Most of the time it was car related or he had work or medical related. Then when we would go over his house he would stay to his self in his room and barely interact with us unless is was time for a meal or he was taking us to church with him (which he stopped going to a few year into the separation) and HE WOULD STILL PICK UP SHIFTS on his weekends with us. The REALLY funny thing is sometimes he would leave to a girlfriends house, which at first I would go but after awhile I was just like nope because he would spend time with the girlfriend and me and my sister would be stuck with the girlfriend’s stupid kids. OR he would invite over his lady friends and be in his room with them. But were our weekends about us, his daughters, and spending time with us?? No. He did that for 6 years.

It’s funny because I felt like he was the only one in my corner until he divorced us. I always felt like my mom just liked my brothers more and she always took their side but my dad was always in my corner. Even against the love of his life. But looking back I dont have any real memories of that man. Because even in selling out my brothers for affection and trying my hardest to get that man to show me he loved me, He never really gave a fuck. I remember when I learned the word “bond” and realized that normal families “bond” from watching TV. I began to ask my parents especially my father, whom did not work most of my childhood, to “bond” with me. IS THAT NOT FUCKING PATHETIC?! I had to beg my parents to bond with me. My father, whom spent most of his time in the front room on his fat ass watching tv, told me just sitting next to him quietly while we watched BET was “bonding”. IS THAT NOT FUCKING PATHETIC?! If anyone is wondering, I dont know a damn thing about that man frfr. But at least he isn’t a dead beat right? My parents moved in together last year to save money and I go over there all the time. Does he take initiative to spend time with me or even really talk to me? No. He doesn’t. I’m 21 and known him for 21 year and he’s just like every other stranger. The only difference is I have a key to his apartment.

My mother and I have NEVER had a great relationship. We currently have a pretty okay relationship but in my adolescence I thought my own mother hated me (up until I almost killed myself at 17. Then she was a WHOLE lot nicer all of a sudden.) I really didnt have a relationship with my mother as a child because she was always the “bread-winner” and her spouse was always playing “stay at home dad,” until she left my little brother’s dad. She would leave for work before I woke up for school, come home looong after I got there, crack open a can or a box for dinner, go to sleep and start over. I practically raised myself through middle school and through TV, Google and other middle-schoolers, I taught myself how to be a girl and take care of myself. I still to this day wish I had an older sister who could have helped me navigate certain things and avoid ridicule about other things.... but I didnt. I had two older brothers, going through their own shit, raising themselves, whom hated me. She is also an AF AM mother and not to stereo type black families but black families have a tendency to perpetuate toxic behavior with each other in terms of ridiculing each other and tearing each other down and thinking its funny. SO, I being my family’’s weirdo and an outsider in my family, got the worst of it, especially from her (especially after my father abandoned me in that house with her.) I remember in middle school she asked me on two separate occasions if I felt like she loved me. I should have said no, But I didn’t know that then. What I said was, “Of course! You’re my mother and you have to love me.” Both times she responded the same: “I don’t Have to love you.” At the time I didn't understand this but I do know. Because she was always working and having to support five kids by herself she was always stressed. I was unlucky enough to be the target of this stress hurricane. By the time I was in high school, she had lost complete control over my brothers so all of the house work and taking care of my little sister and EVERYTHING, including her stress hurricane, fell on me. And as a depressed/lazy teenager, who could see how unbalanced the way she treated me was versus my siblings, I was not about it. The older I was getting the more I began to stand up for myself or in her eyes, became disobedient. Our relationship throughout my teenage years was TERRIBLE. And we had NEVER had a "good” relationship to begin with so it was REALLY REALLY TERRIBLE. Once I almost killed myself and costed her hundreds of dollars (which she made sure I knew I was costing her) to send me to a psych ward and for meds and a psychiatrist and a psychologist, She began to realize that I’m a pathetic, sensitive crybaby who will kill myself if you're mean to me, and slowly (but surely) began to be nicer to me. Our relationship in present day is much better but my Mother being my mother she has NEVER apologized for ANYTHING she has EVER done to me (except back when my parents were married and my father would make her apologize to me if he felt she did something wrong) and she never will apologize or admit to treating at least a little bit worse than she should have and I will NEVER forget, so I will NEVER move on and we will NEVER be that close. I had to move out because she was still treating me like shit without realizing it and letting her shitty husband treat me unfairly (my parents are still technically married because divorces are expensive.) It got to the point where he was complaining about how much food I ate so I went on a diet but my little siblings were eating up their snacks and blaming it on me and he tried to say that I have to start helping pay for groceries BUT I WASN'T EATING!!!!! I literally STOPPED EATING AT MY HOUSE (except for dinner, which my mom always made two servings of so she wouldn't have to cook the next day.) Yeah one meal a day at the VERY end of the day people. I would wait until he was settled into his room after dinner to make my plate. When I moved out, that women cried and said she felt like she was just now “getting to know me.” CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS FUCKING WOMEN?! I wanted to laugh in her fucking face and say that she had 20 years. 20 years.

(Side bar: I should have saved her some money and just killed myself)

I’ve come to the realization from that night in my brothers room, that I wouldn’t be this fucked up if the people who were supposed to be there for me actually treated me right and paid attention to me when I needed it and did what they were supposed to do WHEN I NEEDED IT! Maybe if when I was growing up and needed to be shown love and affection and attention, I wouldn’t have problems connecting with people now and I wouldn’t feel so alone all the fucking time! I could have a healthy relationship and actually love someone and be lovable and I would have real friends and I wouldn’t have went through HALF the shit I’ve been through with people OUTSIDE of my family and I would have known and would know how i’m supposed to be treated by someone who is my friend and someone who claims to love me.

BUT they didnt. No one did. I needed someone (ANY FUCKING ONE) and NO one was there and now I’m fucking broken and have YEARS AND YEARS of attachment trauma and it cant be fixed. AND that’s soooo not the worst of it! I have abuse stories and other shit that I haven't even shared with anyone but one of my therapist and I didnt even feel ready to tell her EVERYTHING just the gist of it. I have OCEANS OF PROBLEMS that can’t be solved. Wounds that can’t heal. I can’t even talk about the problems I have with my family because throughout my whole life we’ve NEVER talked about anything or addressed ANYTHING. There are NO apologies or resolutions or any of that bullshit. If something happens we just wake up the next day as a family like it didn't happen and that's that about that. And honestly I feel like that’s why I can never address any problems I have with people outside of my family or resolve problems or fix anything, which has RUINED great relationships for me.

Anyway. I needed to get that out. SO thank you if you read that bullshit and thank you if you actually care, I guess. This is the end. I’m gonna stop self medicating with weed, which is what I’ve been doing since I stopped taking Zoloft in 2016. It’s actually been working for the most part. It’s not a perfect solution but when I’m high I don’t think about my problems and I feel like I can think about things less emotionally. I’m just gonna stop smoking everyday and let my depression do that thing it does and if I kill myself, Thank god!, and if I don’t, Thank god. And that’s where I’m at on the subject of life and living and the sort.

And Yes before you suggest it smart ass, I have seen multiple therapists and psychiatrists. AND yes I’ve tried other meds besides zoloft and I stopped taking meds because they dont work. AND NO, I’m super uninterested in putting money in greedy ass doctors pockets to take every stupid pill on earth, till I “find the right one.” A pill is not going to get rid of 21 years of misery. It’s just a pill.

#sorry not sorry for typing a whole novella #depression #attachment trauma #suicide #it took me 5 hours to write this and three glasses of wine #wine that I should have checked the alcohol content on #certainly not high enough for me

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Joe & Ronnie

Toe dip

Joe: I'm back in town, you about? Ronnie: Bored of playing with yourself or just playing happy families, yeah? Ronnie: Fuck off Mckenna Joe: S'not an answer, is it Ron? Ronnie: mummy dearest ain't funding my jetsetting Ronnie: there's your answer Joe: Nor mine Joe: Thank you student loans Joe: Are you coming over? Or we playing hide and seek? Ronnie: snap your fingers at me again and see what happens to 'em Ronnie: fuck off you're better at that like Joe: Not like I wanted to Joe: Needs must Joe: Which is what I'm saying, obviously I'm good for it, not like I think you missed me or anything Ronnie: bullshit. you love it golden boy Ronnie: if you didn't wanna be there you'd have been here Joe: Love it so much I moved countries to breathe Joe: Love it so much I found you Joe: It ain't that simple, I can't get out their clutches that easy Ronnie: 'cause you're a sadist. just pay for some bitch to whip you or some shit like normal pervs who love the torture Ronnie: don't come crying to me about it Joe: Ain't like that either Joe: always got by on self-inflected tah Joe: you know I need you Ronnie: liar Ronnie: you need them Ronnie: and to fuck me as a fuck you to them Ronnie: it ain't about me Joe: no Joe: i HAVE them Joe: obligation Joe: and if that were it i'd have done it once and rubbed her nose in it Joe: more than sufficient to fuck her up, no? Joe: who knows if they'd even flinch, my brother and bea are basically married and that was family endorsed Joe: i'm fucked up, that's why i want you so bad, its as simple as that, you've always known that Ronnie: like i give a shit Ronnie: you ain't found any the bastards your da's bound to have dropped Ronnie: makes me the lucky one Ronnie: keep your crying that side of the plane ride, yeah? Ronnie: I'm not here to comfort you Joe: if you like Joe: even if they existed, doesn't mean they're gonna be the same as me Joe: more carbon copies of him, like the rest of 'em Joe: i don't want you to Joe: already got that covered, remember? Ronnie: i ain't the same as you Ronnie: different species baby Ronnie: you got everything and I got fuck all, remember? Joe: yet we still both ended up here Joe: its in our DNA Joe: both her parents were junkies Joe: rest is just circumstance Ronnie: Fuck you I make my own choices Ronnie: and it's not that deep Ronnie: It feels good, I do it Ronnie: blame her all you like but don't expect me to join the party Ronnie: nothing any of you do affects me, got it? Joe: You're old enough to know better than to give such a baby junkie cliche answer Joe: giving to charity and going for a daily constitutional 'feels good' too so I hear but I don't see you out there seizing life by the balls on those scores Joe: There are reasons we chose heroin over life, wanna rewatch seeing as you're feeling really basic about it today, like Ronnie: what i know is that nothing feels like heroin does, soft lad Ronnie: end of Joe: and there's reasons you know that by experience and not hearsay Joe: everyone knows that but everyone else is too content in their happy little lives to find out properly for themselves Ronnie: nobody's that content they're just that pussy Ronnie: scared they'll lose an arm or get riddled and whatever else they've seen on their tv Joe: Whatever Joe: same sin different name Joe: i'm not in your inbox to philosophize Joe: Someone got #deep in my absence Ronnie: take it to church Ronnie: a priest'll be happy to suck you off Ronnie: if you don't like what happens when you go stop leaving Joe: ha, i'm not that young, you know? Joe: my prime is behind me Joe: want me to be the cliche now Joe: say never again? Joe: 'cos I wish it could be true but you know, no broken promises Ronnie: just a crybaby, yeah? I know Ronnie: I don't want to hear any of your bullshit Ronnie: grow a pair mckenna Joe: then stop talking Ronnie: step up and make me Ronnie: you know where i am Joe: are the others about Joe: charlie, mainly Joe: i can't be bothered to be fake to or for my fam for another second and you know he loves them Ronnie: that cunt's down the job centre he'll be longer than I can stand you Joe: just mad 'cos your six-month ban is still in effect Joe: just come over ron Joe: please Joe: i don't want to risk seeing anyone else, i only wanna see you Ronnie: you begging now? Ronnie: that's why you gotta stay away from that lot Joe: thought i'd try it this way before going straight to kidnap Joe: gotta give a lady options Ronnie: try scoring you owe me Joe: done Joe: wait 'til i'm past security don't fancy the cavity search Ronnie: don't knock it 'til you've tried it Ronnie: they might take the gear but they'll show you a good time Joe: of course you'd endorse it, already know you're all about them good feelings Joe: like i said, only got time for you Joe: hopeless romantic Ronnie: hopeless twat Ronnie: trying to make me vom again like Joe: can't blame a boy for trying Joe: get you off your A game=more junk for me Ronnie: still a selfish bellend then Joe: 'Course Joe: you'd never do the same, like Ronnie: if i had gear or money for it i wouldnt be wasting my time on you and this convo Joe: N'awwh Joe: nice to be needed Ronnie: you can try begging for it again Ronnie: worked so well before Joe: knew you loved it really Joe: pretty please with smack on top, hey Ronnie: fuck off Joe: so soon? Joe: just landed baby Ronnie: you left me for dead baby im not gonna wait there rattling a sign Joe: don't Joe: i gave you money, and told you to ask for more if you ran out Joe: what more could i do? Ronnie: not fucking choose them over me Joe: i didn't, haven't, won't Joe: no choice involved, until i literally fucking off myself i have to keep them in the loop i'm still breathing, they won't be satisfied 'til then, like Ronnie: you don't care if that I ain't. good thing the dealers a better fuck and provider than you 'cause my pain's nothing for theirs Ronnie: all such fucking momma's boys Joe: bullshit Joe: you get me every other day of the year Joe: whenever you want me Joe: it was one weekend to show i've got a heartbeat and bounce, that's all it is to me, i don't care if it makes them feel better, just secondary Joe: i'm thinking about you and how you are the whole time Joe: i can't think about nothing else Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: you're never around Ronnie: uni and orchestra and whatever the fuck else Ronnie: stop acting like you give a shit Joe: gotta get money somehow and music keeps me as sane as i've ever been, it's all i had before i had you so I'm not just going to drop it, 'cos you get that too Joe: you just want to be proved right but you're not Joe: you can't push me away and shut me out Joe: sorry about it Ronnie: you're the one who's wrong about everything Ronnie: trying to make this something this ain't Ronnie: a fucking love story or some shit Ronnie: I hate you and I'm not sorry about it Joe: understandable Joe: not the only one Joe: you rather it was a sob story? Joe: don't think so Ronnie: I don't want any story I just want you to get the fucking picture Joe: i'm not very visual, sorry Joe: pick up a guitar Ronnie: You'd love that. a love song. get fucked Joe: looks like you're stuck then Joe: you think you'd try harder if you hated me THAT much Joe: hmm Ronnie: you're the try hard that ain't me Joe: glad you think so Joe: it takes all of me to be this subpar Ronnie: Shut up and get to your place I need my hit Joe: in the taxi Joe: pray you've been good enough to warrant no traffic Ronnie: you sound like your catholic dad Ronnie: is that meant to turn me on? Joe: rather it didn't frankly Joe: but that'd just give you reason to say it did so Joe: you do you Ronnie: sick fuck Joe: no arguments here Ronnie: I'm gonna kick the door in if you're not here in 5 Ronnie: your neighbours are nosey cunts Joe: did you lose your key again? Joe: they're mostly students...so they're either green and wouldn't say boo to a goose let alone you, or stoned enough themselves not to care Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: kick the door down if you wanna, love keeping the locksmiths in business, you Joe: lost that deposit months ago anyway Ronnie: moneybags mckenna Ronnie: should've done uni like Joe: not to late, job centre will pay for it Joe: good on their books, good on your wallet Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: can't get a degree in dope Joe: nah, but you can get a degree in almost everything else Joe: music, whatever Ronnie: prodigy privilege Joe: you don't have to be 'good' Joe: you are anyway Joe: just a thought Joe: not working on commission here Ronnie: I know like 3 chords you daft cunt Ronnie: flattery is fucking useless Joe: they teach you most of it, half my class couldn't play a triangle, you could do theory or producing anyway or set design...list goes on Joe: i'm not aiming for flattery, just how i feel Ronnie: there's easier ways to fulfil your schoolgirl fantasy Ronnie: keep your feelings to yourself Joe: sure, you offering? Ronnie: yeah if you beg me Joe: won't even stop to say hello dearest Ronnie: fuck it then why not Joe: hooray Joe: missed you Ronnie: prove it Joe: on it

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