#sorry i just :( gonna try to do some self validation tmr

[ghostofcitrus]

cw transphobia

just learned that my dad told my (closeted genderfluid) younger sister that they can’t use my pronouns bc “he doesn’t care what we do later in life, but he has two daughters” (after they used them in convo and he was all like “who are you talking about ?”). apparently he got all annoyed/angry about it too.

this fucking sucks. esp bc my younger sister literally was only using they/them, not even he or ey. i specially only use they/them for my parents bc i thought it would be easier for them to digest. i thouvht he was fine?? i had come out to my mom and asked her to tell him for me,, she said she did and he was just like “okay” and didn’t really care! which fine for me. i had assumed they saw me as “their daughter who identified as non-binary” but were supportive and just thouvht that bc of the generation gap and they didn’t understand. not that my dad was explicitly unsupportive.

obviously i’m still really privileged because i’m safe and my mom literally doesn’t seem to care and even tho she doesn’t use my pronouns im like 99% sure it’s purely bc shes bad with that stuff and not thinking about it (and i don’t correct her). tho i do think she thinks it’s a phase (she makes comments that lead me to belive this) but honestly i don’t even fucking care about that. she doesn’t make it my problem and just said that whatever i do as long as i’m safe, she doesn’t care and is supportive of. but i didn’t expect that from my dad at all. it’s really hurtful. i feel like shit. and i’m nervous that when i get my binder and start wearing it he’ll say something directly to me. my mom knows i bought it and thinks it’s just a sports bra and i “fell for the marketing” but she said she doesn’t care. once again, whatever, not my problem, as long as she doesn’t prevent me from transitioning, i’m fine. but i just don’t know if my dad will say something now.

i don’t know. my parents are a lot better than most. and i’m safe. but my mom never uses my pronouns and i’m 85% sure thinks it’s a phase and i’m 100% sure my dad does not support it and won’t let people use my pronouns around him. i’m just glad pronouns aren’t my main (or big) cause of upset or dysphoria for me. still hurts that he doesn’t support me.

at least my younger sister knows not to come out, they had been thinking about doing it somewhat soon. and at least i know they can kinda get it and i know they’re totally supportive of me.

sorry for the whole long venty post. i just want to put it somewhere where people who can understand might see it. i’m just kinda hurt rn. i’m just tired, i’m gonna go to bed :( hopefully my binder finally fuckimg SHIPS tomorrow i ordered it like a week ago😭 that’s the good news i need to hear rn