#im feeling so many things while also not showing emotions at the same time

[fangirlofallthefandoms]

As someone who graduated college literally yesterday the line "you're not lost... you're just not sure which direction you're going in yet" is making me absolutely lose it.

[yongseungkim]

.

[navybrat817]

Season of Giving

Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Single Mom!Reader

Summary: A small glimpse at your first holiday with Bucky.

Word Count: Over 500

Warnings: Fluff, small insecurities, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?)

A/N: A quick thing inspired by an anon ask. Continuing with Moving in Slow Motion, Heart and Home, and (Im)Patiently Waiting! ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You spend the morning with Sweet Pea in matching pajamas as she opens gifts. The matching pajama tradition began when she was a baby and you’re happy she still wants to do it.

You make breakfast as she plays with some of her new toys, and you hang up the new calendar she made on the fridge. You also put the snowglobe she made on your desk, complete with her picture inside.

Sweet Pea shares some of her stocking candy with you and when you ask her why she says it’s because it's the season of giving and sharing. You’re raising her right.

And being the season of giving, you hope you’ve given her enough. She doesn't get gifts from her dad or that side of the family, so you always do your best to give her a nice holiday.

It’s more than enough, even if you doubt yourself now and again.

Bucky invites you over for the afternoon. He doesn't want to interrupt your morning time with your daughter.

You two decide to make holiday treats for Bucky because you don't want to show up empty handed. Sweet Pea also makes a homemade card and paints a coffee mug for him, which becomes his new favorite.

You can't help but smile when you see Bucky in a nice sweater that matches his blue eyes because he looks so handsome. For a moment you worry that you're a bit undressed until he tells you how beautiful you look.

Your smile only widens and your heart melts when he crouches down to pick up Sweet Pea and carry her around. She tells him all about the morning with great enthusiasm, and he listens to every word.

How is he so perfect?

He has gifts for both of you under the large tree in his living room because he wants to spoil you, but he won't “upstage” you by getting more gifts for your daughter than you did. You appreciate that more than you can say.

There are games set up so you can all play together, snacks and blankets for movies, and he has a few books out, too, in case Sweet Pea wants him to read. She does.

Dinner is simple and low-key because you want it to be something your daughter will enjoy, and it’s full of smiles and laughter.

You tear up after dinner when Sweet Pea starts to get sleepy and Bucky wraps her up in a warm blanket so she can lay on the loveseat. You try to wipe the tears away before he catches you.

He sees them anyway and doesn't show how emotional he feels, but it hits him square in the chest.

Because while he saw his friends in the morning and they are his family, he doesn't have this.

And when you're curled up beside Bucky later on the couch, you thank him for giving you and your daughter a wonderful holiday. It was one you wouldn't forget.

He thanks you for doing the same for him, and hopes it’s the first of many.

Oh, they deserve the world. Love and thanks for reading! And all the good vibes during the holidays. ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[flanaganfilm]

howdy!! do you rewatch your own work? if so, how often? im wondering if it has the same "artist just sees faults with what they create" thing, or if youre able to appreciate past projects the way they deserve

I don't, typically... usually, by the time we're finished with post production, I've seen the thing so many times that I'm thrilled to stop watching it. I'm either sick of it, or just feeling like it doesn't belong to me anymore. There are other reasons, too - Hill House was a traumatic production for me, for example, I have a lot of complicated emotions woven into it, so I haven't felt ready to rewatch that one since before it aired. Maybe in a few more years.

Somewhat recently, I've revisited a few of the older movies with my eldest son, who is 13 now. He's basically as old as my career itself. We've watched Oculus, Hush, The Midnight Club (which he LOVED, proving it worked for our target audience) and Ouija: OOE together, and each of those screenings was a really cool experience. His reactions and questions were really fascinating, and I felt like I was able to see those movies anew through his eyes. That's the closest I've come to feeling like I was really seeing them, and that's only because so much time has gone by for those. I watched the Director's Cut of Doctor Sleep a few years back at the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park Colorado. It was part of a live NoSleep Podcast event, and that was the first time I'd seen that movie since it was released. It was also the first and only time I'd ever seen the Director's Cut with an audience. That was a really special screening and it meant a lot to me.

I haven't yet had the guts to revisit any of the TV series other than Midnight Club. As my kids get older, I'm sure I'll watch them all with them. The one I'm most excited to see is Midnight Mass, which remains my favorite of the shows. I haven't seen it since before it came out - I remember the last day of post on that show, watching down each episode with final mix and color. That's a series I wish I could actually watch like a viewer at home, and while I'll never truly be able to do that, I look forward to looking at it with some real distance.

There are a few of the older projects I'd be curious to watch now. I wonder how Absentia holds up - I was such a baby when we made that movie, and it's been so long. I imagine I could watch that today and have a really trippy experience. I also haven't revisited Before I Wake in a very long time, and I always really loved that script. The movie was a rough road, and my feelings were mixed by the time it finally found its finish line (Relativity Media really beat that one up), but that could also be a really interesting viewing experience at this stage of my career.

But generally, each of these movies is a journey, and once the journey is over it's tough to ever really go back. There's little point, and moving forward feels like a matter of survival. The "finished product" is only the tip of a large, deep, labyrinthian iceberg for me. It's impossible to only see what's on the surface, no matter how hard I try.

(Interesting side-note: The only exception I've found to this rule is The Life of Chuck. We just finished post production on the movie, and I've watched it dozens and dozens of times now - but I've never grown tired of it, not even a little bit. That movie is something special, and I am eager to watch it again - and again - and again. I don't know that I'll ever want distance from that one; in fact, watching it brings me a sense of joy, comfort, and safety.)

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

ppl please. You are making Vaggie stupider than she is in canon

"Why didn't Vaggie know angel weapons could kill angels, when Lute used one to permanently gouge out her eye-"

Because Lute also ripped off her wings, seemingly permanently, WITHOUT using a weapon.

It makes sense that Vaggie would figure only other ANGELS can HURT angels. And that's still not the same as KILLING ONE.

You can say "well if she was scarred then by it then she should've assumed a real attack could have killed her" but why? In hell, Sinners can be TORN APART and pull themselves back together. Why wouldn't Vaggie assume that she can take damage up to a point but still not die? Or that she would just reform again afterwards?

"It was a writing mistake to have Vaggie not confess her past to Charlie before they went to heaven, no believable character would do that-"

It was a character flaw, one many other characters in the show have, and it is very true to life that longer you keep a secret about yourself- especially one you're afraid people will hate you for- the harder it is to admit to it.

We know she feels like her only point in existing is to help Charlie. She said it. And later it ties in perfectly with her backstory of losing everything about herself and being found by Charlie, of rejecting her life killing Sinners and devoting herself to supporting the dream of saving them instead.

We also know the last time she "failed" people in her life she was hurt and abandoned by them. We know her FIRST plan was to NOT go to heaven with Charlie, to try and make some kind of excuse.

But then she couldn't come up with a good excuse. And she couldn't bring herself to say no to her supportive and loving girlfriend. And then they were in heaven, facing a COURT HEARING to decide the fate of SOULS, that her girlfriend would have to argue a case for-

Does that really sound like the best time to drop an emotional relationship truth bomb?

Sound. Not "was". Would it have FELT LIKE a good time to come clean to Charlie about being a former Exorcist.

HOW would it have FELT like a good time for that to Vaggie? Especially after Adam and Lute got through telling her how being scarred and crippled by them was her fault, being left down in hell by them was her fault, and her girlfriend will ALSO hate her if the truth comes out?

THIS IS A SHOW. ABOUT PEOPLE. WHO MAKE CRAPPY SELF-SABOTAGING CHOICES (look at Angel Dust) AND THEN HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH THE FALL OUT OF THaT

THATS THE SHOW

THATS. THE POINT OF THE HAZBIN HOTEL

it's not "bad writing" when a WOMAN does it TOO without an essay explaining her every thought leading up to it!

like im sorry her scenes were rushed, im sorry they had worse animation and story boarding and pacing than the guys' moments get, im sorry she didn't get more focus, im sorry she isn't a fav character of the show creators-

but she IS well written. tbh all of the characters in the show are.

they do things that makes sense based on what they've been through, and what they feel, and what they want, and that's. that's good character writing.

i don't LIKE a lot of the characters but they're still WELL WRITTEN

I HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT VAGGIE- BUT ONLY BECAUSE IM OBESSEED WITH HER AND WANT TO CRAWL INSIDE HER SKULL! SHE IS, IN THE SHOW, A PERFECTLY BELIEVABLE CHARACTER

bad writing would have been- her getting angry at Charlie for being upset about the secret! it would've been her CAVING to Adam's blackmail and arguing against Angel Dust to save herself! It would've been her moping on the top of the hotel while Charlie was angry with her instead of actively doing what she could to help, like she did!

i've lived through SO MANY badly written characters DO NOT try telling me VAGGIE is one of them- i remember the horrors. THIS is not THAT

......anyway

im probably gonna regret posting this aren't i

[werecreature-addicted]

to the anon asking about the large amount of sex-trafficking/rape prompts/stories/blurbs, im going to try and give you a real answer

one major factor, is shame

it's a largely subconscious thing, the fact people's sexual fantasies lean toward this aggressive often dehumanizing scenarios.

but its something that has been observed in people raised with very strict social expectations regarding sexuality often having rape fantasies, because it is a way to indulge in their sexual feelings without having to admit to them, in a way.

i, personally, am fat and queer. and while never stated outright to my face, the fact that small children have on several occasions began crying while looking at me in the supermarket line, I would also have to assume im not that much of a looker either

any show of desires for intimacy, physical or emotional, has been laughed at. people asked me out as a joke when i was in school, my father's side of the family openly lamented my appearance since I was a child because my only real value to them was continuing the family line, and that's not going to happen if I'm unattractive and fat

the fact is I have been told my entire life that me being wanted was impossible, if anybody desired me they would keep it a secret out of fear of ridicule, and anybody who would be open about it must have a specific fetish or be using me

I want to be wanted, hell there are times I'm desperate to get catcalled, because that proves somebody finds me attractive enough to express that. (even if the reality of it is objectifying and rude) the basis of these sorts of fantasies are often rooted in being seen as so desirable, so wanted, that any and all restraint goes out of the window. (you know that romance trope line that's like, "are you sure? because once we start i don't know if i can stop." same idea) the tendency towards trafficking and sexual slavery are also rooted in this, but with the added bit of "see, somebody wants me so bad they will spend money on me, to own me. they will fuck me in a crowded room without shame because their desire for me isn't something they're ashamed about, i am a prize, and the fact they get to fuck me is something they will gloat about."

one of the major appeal of monsters is that they wouldn't be bogged down by our social expectations, or they would have ones of their own. there is no fear regarding being wanted despite my looks, because the things about myself I have been told make me unattractive, are things that they openly and voraciously desire. Also, for the fat folks in the chat, wanting to be picked up and tossed around by your partner is largely something we can't have, (BMI is bullshit but mine is nearly double what it "should" be) you don't have to worry about that if your partner is an 8+ foot tall creature that can suplex a sedan

so while in reality, me being stocky and fat is seen as something that makes me unattractive, a werewolf would look at me and go "ah, yes, broad as a brick wall and twice as thicc, he can take it in a tumble."

can you see where the overlap occurs?

obviously there are some generalizations and assumptions based on my own biases here, and everybody's got their peculiarities, but these are themes I have seen throughout my many years too many online

I also just think monster fucker spaces are a little more open to taboo kinks. like wanting to fuck a werewolf who could kill you at any second is already weirder than most people want to go. thank you for sharing your perspective anon.

[lollyposp]

okay im only slightly going insane right now about how MUCH i adore the way agatha is being portrayed in agatha all along. she's this awesome mix of horrible and sympathetic BUT not in the way that excuses everything she does. like, the other witches dislike her for good reason and even when agatha is nice to them or they realise she's got her own issues too like, that doesn't change what she's done in the past to get her reputation.

but ALSO it's so obvious that 90% or something of Agatha's personality is either a facade or an exaggeration of her bitterness because after everything we know of that's happened to her ("i can be good" "no you cannot", her son dying and rio's obvious involvement in that) it's like. how can she love. how can she trust when those she loved made her feel betrayed, or she lost them, or even both.

i think the first clue that a lot of her personality is a facade was the whole "just blast me" situation, because to me it felt like "well yeah Agatha's clearly nasty but how much of that is because she needs to annoy people into trying to kill her so she can grab their magic?" but I hadn't quite realised that there could be more to it than that

but episode 4 had SO MANY examples. i mean, Agatha's entire "no fucks given" attitude just fizzles out when the teen is dying and i feel like even the other witches picked up on it, like jen was clearly stunned by Agatha's grief as well as by Teen's condition. and then her sitting with Teen until he woke up, not even taking her eyes off him but as soon as he wakes up she pretends she just Happened to check on him Just as he woke up and that she didn't stay there the entire time.

and don't even GET ME STARTED on everything else. the scene at the fire where she very clearly struggled through having a positive interaction with the other witches?? and also the whole "she is my scar" but if i think too much about that i will actually go insane.

the scene that REALLY hasn't left my head all day is the scene where rio tells agatha that Teen isn't hers. ALL THE PROPS to kathryn hahn here she's an INCREDIBLE actress, but the way agatha just says NOTHING and slowly puts on a smile....😦 i was watching the episode with my housemates and the only thing i could say to them was "i literally saw the moment she put her act back on". because for all that agatha is so brash and loud, and no matter how much she might seek conflict with others, she runs away from all her emotional pain because it's too much for her to bear. because how do you even move on from the woman you loved being at least partly complicit in your son's death? whether agatha really DID trade him for the dark hold and regretted it immediately or whether the rumour IS just a rumour and nick and the dark hold aren't connected at all, RIO still is connected to either of those ideas.

(honestly as it stands right now im in whatever camp believes he WAS traded for the darkhold, but agatha somehow didn't realise he would be traded until after it was too late, because i feel like it's what explains her actions in WV and her hallucination the most. also it makes rio's actions all the more painful to agatha because it would have been a mistake she didn't mean to make, and rio would not budge even with that knowledge and OUCH. but that's neither here nor there)

honestly this whole incoherent essay was just to say that i love Agatha's character. i love that the question surrounding her isn't really "is she good or evil?" or even "can she be good?". i feel like it's clear there IS a good person in agatha but because she's ignored it for so long (some of that is probably due to the darkhold) the question kind of becomes "does it matter that she's got good inside her if she refuses to show it?". she's so firmly in the morally grey camp that while i do kind of want her to have a redemption arc and to have a whole found family thing go on, i honestly don't see it happening and i also at the same time DON'T want her to be redeemed when she's so interesting because she's this person who clearly has the capacity to be good and chooses not to out of pride and fear of being vulnerable and all the trauma she's accumulated.

oh i completely forgot to mention that im also obsessed with the sound booth scene???? i honestly can't figure out if she's just shit stirring when she projects her and rio's conversation for the fun of it, or if it's like a fucked up agatha way of trying to protect her new coven by giving them reasons to distrust rio and be wary of her, specifically because she thinks rio will betray her/betray them and reap them. I can't figure it out. it might even be both.

anyway live laugh love agatha

[luigixfanxayjay]

game!luigi headcanons!!!

i keep seeing a lot of people make headcanon dump posts, so i decided to make one of my various luigi headcanons myself! heres to anyone who wants to read this post! i hope none of you mind the tags, and i apologize if i bugged you!

@peaches2217 @pianokantzart @loud-kid2 @jelly-fish-wishes @itsavee4117 @silenzahra @supa-mehyro @supergay-64 @acen402 @totallyking @oh-my-gosh-its-j0sh @dayseedrawz2 @bberetd @megamagimugi

-_-_-_-_-_-

- luigi has autism spectrum disorder, he was diagnosed at a young age along with marios adhd diagnosis. he also has generalized anxiety disorder and sometimes depression, but he has found many great ways to cope throughout the years.

- luigi LOVES cows. any animal he doesnt know the name of would be called "cow". he uses this as a placeholder word, and he doesnt express the fact he doesnt know the animal directly.

- anytime luigi is overly scared, nervous, shy, or excited, he tends to have a stutter. for him, its hard to find many words in this state.

- you may think luigi is just a plumber, but he also has many different hobbies! these include mechanics, arts, sports (especially tennis!), photography, gardening, and even music!

- luigis favorite colors are green and "porpol" (his pronounciation, not mine).

- luigi is bisexual. he has a strong romantic relationship with princess daisy, but fails to admit it to anyone other than his loved ones in fear of judgement. he also has had interest in prince peasley, but unfortunately wasnt able to talk to him about it before they departed.

- luigi hates loud noises, which led to a childhood fear of lightning and explosions. thankfully, his fear of that significantly lessened thanks to his thunderhand.

- luigi posts polterpup content EVERYWHERE on social media. he may be a cat person, but polterpup is a STRONG exception. have i mentioned he loves his pet ghost dog with all of his heart?

- luigi is generally a pretty emotional guy. barely slamming his hand on the wall? crying. getting a game over in a video game? crying. watching a sad moment in a babies show? crying. just arrived at the doctors office for a checkup? crying. these were mostly exaggerations, but the fact that luigi is emotionally in touch when needbe still stands. this, of course, is a positive thing.

- pancakes is luigis favorite comfort food. he simply stims with joy just ready for a bite! he especially loves it with syrup and blueberries! mmmm... now im hungry!

- when luigi succeeds in battle, he breaks into the sickest dance moves. dont ask me why.

- luigi has a strong feeling of fear, almost anytime he feels it. its either "oh, this is scary :(" or "OH MY GOODNESS I AM PISSING MY PANTS IN TERROR I NEED TO DO SOMETHING OR ESCAPE OR ELSE IM GONNA PASS OUT!!!". absolutely NO inbetweens.

-luigis body has a hard time adjusting to temperature or sudden gait changes. goes out in 50° fehrinheit for a millisecond while wearing a baggy jacket, and hes shivering like a wet dog. he loses the cat powerup after using it for not even 5 minutes, and hes tumbling around as if he were incredibly drunk.

- speaking of drunk, luigi almost never drinks alcohol. he always drinks non-alcoholic alternatives unless on VERY special occasions such as his own wedding or a "our lives are saved again thanks to the bros" party.

- luigi prefers to not be the leader in groups. it makes him very anxious anytime he has to take that role, especially if its a larger group of unfamiliar people.

- luigi is so so so ambiverted. he doesnt want to socialize with new people as he prefers sameness and familiarity. but, when hes with people he knows such as mario and friends, he talks more than youd see in an eminem song. craziest part, hes actually great at making new friends.

- luigi enjoys storytelling. like mentioned in the last headcanon, he enjoys telling people he knows about his day or any sort of scenario that popped up in his head.

- luigi has a high iq, as he can use his logic quite well in tight situations. mario and luigi brothership shows that far enough.

- luigis thunderhand can be helpful, but sometimes it can cause more harm than good. hes normally invincible to his own attack and just lightning in general, but when hes under strong enough emotion, it can lead to his invincibility shield dissipating and him getting hurt.

-_-_-_-_-_-

thats all i have for now! someday soon i may work on headcanon posts for other mario characters and perhaps characters from different fandoms! lemme know if you wanna see more!

[gatorbites-imagines]

They need to make a second Moon Knight season. People also need to make more Moonboys x Male reader, not a lot for some reason. Here’s my pitch, Moonboys with a Summer like s/o. Like they are just like super hyper and cheerful but also really temperamental and kinda scary, lots of emotions at once type of person.

Please good Sir, I beg thee🙏🌆

Moonboys x Summerlike male reader

Headcanons

It’s been a while since I watched moon knight or written about the boys, and I feel like im forgetting what their personalities are like :/

Marc Spector

I’m not sure Marc knows how to deal with you in the beginning with you having so many strong emotions wrapped inside you at the same time. Its probably a bit intimidating for him, since he himself tries to stay coolheaded and focused on the mission.

After a while, Marc would get used too it though, and would come to enjoy it since its part of who you are. He does end up floundering sometimes when your emotions get a little too bright or loud all of a sudden, and he needs to figure out what caused it.

Knows some de-escalation exercises he’s gotten form Steven that he helps you go through when you start to get a little too angry, or angry enough for it to start effecting your choices and actions. Marc wouldn’t want you to end up doing something you might come to regret later.

Steven Grant

Steven would be a little more prepared to have a partner whose emotions can be quite strong and a little all over the place. He might have to catch up sometimes, but he’s more likely to match your vibe. It might cause a bit of a loop, especially when he gets excited talking about his interests and you just egg him on.

Knows multiple types of de-escalation exercises or focusing exercises, that he needs to use himself quite regularly. This means hes great at helping talk you down or get you to focus on something else when you get a little too angry or frustrated on something.

Quite enjoys how happy you can be at times, especially on days where Steven himself is feeling stressed. Its like a breath of fresh air, or maybe a shot of espresso.

Jake Lockley

Even worse than Marc when it comes to dealing with all your strong different emotions in the beginning, he just doesn’t show it. Jake is more the type to lay low and observe, letting him feel out what’s on the agenda today before he interacts.

He doesn’t talk much, so he’s more than happy to sit back and listen to you ramble for hours if you get excited about something, or just need to angry rant about one thing or another that pissed you off today.

When you start to get too worked up, both positively or negatively, Jake will wrap an arm around your waist and pull you to his side. Or he will grab your hand and give it a squeeze. Not enough to hurt, but enough to bring you down to earth so you guys can think whatever is going on through logically.

[chrisevansonly]

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞𝐬 (𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲’𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐮)

ʚ harry styles x female reader (angel)

ʚ nothing like christmas time at the styles family home it makes it more special since it’s violet’s first christmas

ʚ no warnings just fluff

ʚ here we are with a little christmas harry’s angel au update, i’m working on getting better at updating my works and writing, i know im shit at it, so I PROMISE i’m working on it, shit ending idk i’m struggling 😭

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

It was honestly quite amazing how quickly your little Violet had grew, 6 whole months and your baby girl was babbling and practically sitting up on her own now. It was also your first Christmas as a family of three, Harry was done tour, you were off at your home in the countryside close to Harry’s mum: Life couldn’t get better.

“Okay so we’ve got dinner at mum’s in about forty minutes-you okay angel?” Harry’s voice snapped you back to reality

“Oh-yeah i’m okay lovie, just thinking about how 6 months ago we were at the hospital…and now”

The pout and shine in your eyes had Harry walking over to you to pull you in for a hug, holding you gently to him. Thankfully Violet was sound asleep upstairs, she often would panic slightly if you were ever upset, same thing with Harry.

“M’love…it’s okay to feel a bit emotional, our baby girl is growing up…”

“I know-it’s just happened so fast, I miss when she was teeny tiny”

Harry smiled pressing a kiss to your temple

“I do too, but she’s only six months, so we’ve still got a bit longer of little her hmm?”

You knew he was right, so nodding you wiped your eyes letting out a sigh, just in time to hear babbles from Violet upstairs.

“Go get our girl, and i’ll finish up our snack”

Leaning forward to kiss his lips softly you made your way up to Violet’s room, as soon as she laid her eyes on you she was smiling

“Hi petal! Did you have a good nap!”

“Ma ma!!” she squealed happily as you lifted her up, placing her on the change table to get her diaper switched before fixing her Christmas onesie.

“Should we go show daddy your pyjamas? We can all match together?”

Violet smiled clapping her hands as you scooped her back up, walking back down the hallway

“Da da!!!!” she yelled causing you to laugh, Harry appearing around the corner after hearing his daughters very loud yell for him

“Well hello to you too baby!”

Violet reached her hands out to him, Harry quick to take her while pressing a kiss to her cheek

“Wow, don’t you look so pretty in your pj’s…do mummy and I have the matching set too?”

Violet looked to you before pointing to her jammies, babbling away

“I think she’s saying yes H”

Harry laughed, she was still learning how to say words, only a few in her vocabulary at this point but that didn’t mean she couldn’t communicate in other ways.

“Well I say we go get changed and then and have some cuddles on the couch!”

Matching pyjamas was the first of many traditions for your family, something you’d remember as the holidays came and left with each passing year. Violet truly was the best gift you and Harry had ever received.

And maybe someday in the future, you’d add another little one too..

[baneonono]

watch house for the first time with me

season two episodes 11-20. were just gonna have to ignore spelling errors and stuff because I take these notes while it is very late at night. also if I’m wildly mischaracterizing the characters, it’s because I like it better and yes I am afraid that is how I watch tv shows. canon is whatever I want it to be, especially when I’m sleep deprived

11

“We need to talk about this” Wilson says like it’s his marriage that house is breaking up. I do love how invested Wilson is in Houses love life 

Wilson going to Stacy to yell at her is so iconic. I love my loyal man. Big puppy dog energy. 

“I can hear you caring” I love house. 

Wilson this episode: yelling at all parties involved in an affair, overly investing in other people’s romance, preparing drugs for patients to take, spilling everyone’s beans, trying to help everyone

I’m obsessed with how well house, Wilson, and stacy know each other. Mostly with how well house knows Stacy, Cuddy and Wilson. And then how well Wilson knows house

“You love me more” shut up shut up shut up house shut your face please 

Ughhhhhhh why are we doing this house and Stacy 

House did not just tell Cameron that he loves her. The way she flinched. 

The ultimatum house just gave Stacy-

So many things are happening that I want to scream about. Okay house with the kid is adorable in the exact opposite way Chase is adorable with kids. Because house is that person that kids love despite how unlikable he is and Chase kids love because of how likable he is and I just love them both. Also Stacy going to Cuddy the second she has house problems is amazing. I need more of them just chatting. When all of yall are beyond your in love with house phase can I get footage of you girls just gossiping. And can Wilson be there even though he’s the currently in love with house one and he will absolutely tell house everything said in the sacred gossip room. 

OH MY GOD MARK AND HOUSE SHOW DOWN IM SO EXCITED 

Mark going to the ex boyfriend is wild and he went so hard for it. House really just left him, a dude in a wheelchair, on the stairs.

House just can’t condemn mark to the same thing he went through, you heard it first

SAD ROOF BOY RETURNS BUT THIS TIME WILSON GOES TO FIND HIM. I KEEP WINNING

Wilson is really the shows method of moving everyone along emotionally. He’s not the oncology dude, he’s just hospital staff emotional support who happens to do oncology 

I do think that house was right that Stacy shouldn’t leave mark for house. He’s not gonna change, he doesn’t want to, I don’t think he trusts her, it’s better for everyone for her to move on 

12

House really just does whatever he wants and cuddy has to deal with it because he’s too smart

Chase🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 

I love when Wilson clocks house

Wilson: I don’t know him I don’t know him I don’t know him I don’t know him 

Girl- house- why are you testing your rivals drug on yourself, thinking it’s gonna not work

Foreman helping house😭😭😭😭😭😭

The triplets being so accommodating to house with the migraine he gave himself😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bro lying on the ground is such a mood. I adore him

Why why why why am I watching a kid get covered in maggots. Why would someone do that to me and that poor kid. The parents should just say no

Wilson getting house water while also assaulting his senses😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I love that Wilson is simultaneously caring for house and calling him out. What a man. 

This lumbar puncture is giving me anxiety. Like what if we don’t do this actually 

Foreman and Chase are so my second favorite duo in this show. 

House is unreasonably iconic

He’s really just a pathetic man trying insanely hard to not let it be known that he’s pathetic but I see him for what he is

It really is Wilson’s role in the show to tell us what everyone is feeling

13

Is…… is his leg getting worse?

Get house an mri 

Respectfully I don’t care about this girl. Let’s do house is the patient again. This father is stupid but it’s okay

House are you okay

I love that people look to Chase for comfort

House is so unhinged right now and it’s not fun to watch. Baby are you okay. Wilson come get your man what is going on

This episode is so gross

SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH HOUSE 

HOUSE ASKED WILSON FOR HELP

Okay house lashing out everyone was a great moment of humanization for him. Because we all see him as this infallible being 

Wilson pretending to be god is the cutest thing I’ve seen all day. He’s so silly. He’s so silly for house 

Love how Chase goes along with house

JESUS CHRIST HOUSE. YOU NEED TO GO SEE A DOCTOR MY DUDE. HOW ARE YOU NOT GOING TO A DOCTOR. YOUR BEST FRIEND IS ONE. YOUR ENTIRE TEAM IS DOCTORS. YOUR BOSS IS A DOCTOR. YOU ARE ONE. PLEASE GO SEE A DOCTOR

Okay placebo is all well and good but what is wrong with him. I’m so lost. 

Also nonbinary/trans representation in a 2004 show?

14

Just house and Wilson is insulting each other

Living for house shouting at Wilson across the hospital about his sex life and Wilson just assuming it’s about him having an affair

I love when house goes into actually saving a patient mode. Him at work is absolutely spectacular

Wilson was reaching our house. How did you look that in the face of your hurting friend and just say no

WILSON MY BABY BOY

welp I’m sorry baby but at least you get to hang out with your best friend more…

15

I’m betting that house isn’t gonna kick Wilson out

CHASE WAS ACTUALLY GONNA APPLAUD FOR HOUSES JUGGLING 

I’m living for roommates hilson so bad. Please never back him move out 

Absolutely obsessed with Wilson being a good cook and house stealing all of his food 

“Property of James Wilson, trespassers with be prosecuted!” What if he put that sticky note on himself instead of the fridge? Just saying 

Babygirl, if you’re gonna delete Wilson’s voicemails about new apartments, at least get him an air mattress so he doesn’t have to sleep on the couch. Come on man, where’s your manners

16

Okay why did Wilson put the girl in an elevator so house could do something

I LOVE THE PRANKS. IM SORRY IVE BEEN BUSY THIS EPISODE DOING THINGS BUT HOUSE AND WILSON LIVING TOGETHER AND PRANKING EACH OTHER IS THE CUTEST THING IVE EVER SEEN 

I dearly adore roommate hilson. Like so bad

17

That kid in the intro was gonna try to deliver the teachers baby. Also these fake outs as to who is gonna be sick are getting so boring. Girl I don’t care who it is that gets sick, I don’t know any of them. 

House I- he just always has to be messing with Wilson

House making Wilson lose is hilarious. Love everything 

I LOVE WILSON

house tell your boyfriend if you’re doing okay

Wilson says something smart and House falls a little more in love with him 

This episode is insane, kid is dying, matching a case of 70 year old, house is obsessed, house is playing mind games with Wilson, there’s a party, Wilson was called in for an actual consult. What is going on

Wilson just talks and hopes that it triggers something in house. 

I think what this episode taught me is that if house ever loses a case, I will break down

18

I have come to the deeply disturbing realisation that house has become my comfort show since I started watching it

Living for Chase actively doing procedures and Cameron/Foreman asking him for advice during the procedures. Like you guys can’t wait 30 minutes. 

This Ethical Dilemma is so boring. I don’t care at all. 

No one plays along with house’s metaphors like Wilson

How many languages does house speak????

Idk foreman if someone I viewed as a colleague came to me and said that, I wouldn’t push them away like that. Maybe try not to be annoying to Cameron, you do have to work together

19

NO WILSON MOVED OUT WHY NO WHY HAVE I BEEN FORSAKEN

House going to Wilson to rant and then Wilson going to House to rant. I love them

This patient is freaking everyone out and I am one of those people. Can you like chill bro. A little too into himself

Yes girl get Foreman. 

Chat my dads are fighting

The way I love Wilson so much

Chase is really the best triplet

WILSON ARE YOU INSANE

He’s insane, he may be clocking house but he’s insane

This episode is wild

NO HILSON ROOMMATES DO THEY WANT ME TO CRY. I WANT MY ROOMMATES BACK

20

HOUSE JUST SHOOTING A GUY IS SO FUNNY 

Aw did they get put in time out, the way everyone is just sitting there looking et each other looks like they got put in time out

Okay Foreman went to the house and he’s giddy, I’m thinking maybe we should think about the house. 

Chase is literally the only sane one this episode

I love that house clocked chase repeating foreman’s theories so quickly 

This isn’t fun times anymore

[twst-hottest-takes]

So, I’d say I’m someone who really likes Malleus. I enjoy seeing him pop up in events and the main story, and I’ll go out of my way to enjoy fanart and fanfics about him. BUT at the same time I’m his biggest hater, call me a Leona kinnie because as far as I’m concerned that’s my nemesis fr fr.

Seriously though, while I genuinely like Malleus, I also have a lot of grievances with the way his character is written and utilized whenever he shows up. For a while I had trouble pin pointing what exactly my grievances were, but it JUST hit me.

I was scrolling through some fanart I have saved on Pinterest(my Twisted Wonderland fanart treasure trove) and I REALIZED that all my favorite pieces of Malleus art featured him being emotional and/or really expressive; something we don’t get to see him be all that much, especially not in the main story.

And that’s my problem with Malleus, he’s not nearly as reactive as I want him to be, especially not when compared to the other characters. When it comes to Malleus, there isn’t a lot that can get under his skin and bother him, which is fine on paper but the way it’s executed means that most of his reactions to strange situations - ones that would have any other character panicking - are blunt and subdued.

And, of course, the reason he’s like this is because of ginormous power gap between him and literally everyone else in the world.

Why does Malleus not panic when the VDC stadium is destroyed? When Vil is turned into an old man? When ANYTHING bad happens? Because he can fix it instantly with magic, he’ll even comment on how easy it was. Even without magic we know that Malleus is physically super strong by virtue of being a dragon.

And it’s not just the big stuff, at this point I’m scared that Malleus’ next birthday card vignette will just be him immediately making himself look perfect with magic. Because of his incredible power, I feel like I’m missing out on a more messy, uncomposed side of him.

Like I just want to see this guy realize he forgot to set an alarm last night and he’s late for first period.

However, I’ll admit that this way of characterizing Malleus does have its upsides. That scene in Book Seven when we Malleus yells about the Senate and his Grandmother telling him what Lilia did for him??? PEAK, NO NOTES, BEST MOMENT IN BOOK SEVEN AS FAR AS IM CONCERNED, and I’m not certain it would’ve hit as hard if we DIDN’T have to slog through Malleus’ boring reactions thus far.

All of this is to say that when we finally get to fight OB Malleus and we get to see his backstory, I NEED to see him snap I NEED to see him panic and yell and cry and lost his composurE PLEASE YANA PLEASE.

And if they want to have their vaguely Grim shaped OB monster pose ANY sort fo a threat they better nerf Malleus HARD. Not just magically I need him to be physically weakened please. If this happens the birds will sing, the flowers will bloom, an angel will gets its wings etc

We've been hitting the nail on the head with these Malleus takes lately.

As anon said, he's had his upsides and moments and hopefully with the game moving towards the end (plz?) of Book 7 we can see more of Malleus' emotional range. . .gosh I hope so. Please nerf him. He can't keep being this powerful, if it always effects the weather it's no wonder he's emotionally stunted! BRING THIS MAN DOWN TO OUR LEVEL! (Or at least direct his rage at something worth smiting.)

I can only say, "Malleus is too important for his own good," so many times before it gets stale, but that's the issue in essence. So powerful, noble birth, such status, dragon, very dignified *Wow*. So trying to get him on the level where we really relate to and understand him as a person is awfully difficult for this game apparently. He's not the only character who suffers from the "can't have his image compromised because reasons" thing, but I digress. Malleus does have some fun and silly moments, but there's a lot more potential with him that's yet to be explored. I know that it's not impossible to have a character so far removed from average who can still be endearing and relatable, but the game just hasn't done that with Malleus. His otherworldly aura and pressence makes it hard to think of him as a person, which is very intentional; however, it puts him on this pedestal and has been written into a corner that doesn't allow his character to breathe. It's why he needs friendships like with the MC to help "humanize" him. That's something which the game doesn't do enough of.

Thank you for your take.

[rvb-canon-grimmons]

RVB RESTORATION THOUGHTS!!!!

LONG POST IM SO SORRY I HAD A LOT OF FEELINGS

(Im so sorry this got so long, but i got emotional while writing it so please bear with me, read this like its the morning paper while u eat breakfast or something i have alot to say)

Before I go into the things I didn't like I do want to focus on some positives.

-Like I said in an earlier post, Geoff's acting…he absolutely killed it, and maybe this is because I'm a little bit Geoff/Grif biased but he was giving so much emotion and everyone else felt a little bit flat. Also only he could have delivered the "Come with me" line with so much Homoeroticism -I Had a pretty fun time watching the fight in the second half, The references to Monty we're sweet and getting to see Tex and Carolina fight together was pretty epic! -A good handful of jokes got me good. "23rd in my class" Shelia translating Caboose's Spanish to Lopez

Ok……. the next bit of this will get a little bit negative, but I do want to say this is coming from a place of deep love and care for this series. I have run this blog for like 6/7 years now and I've been a fan of this show for double that. My biggest fear is that fans get the same treatment we did when no one liked RVBZero. I have criticisms. This is a 21 year old series that so many people have had a part in and so many have loved. I was not looking for perfection, I wasn't even looking for something good. I was looking for an ending to the stories of characters people have held in their hearts for 21 years. Unfortunately, what I feel we were left with was a hastily thrown together hour of basically nothing.

-Why weren't they friends…..Why weren't they friends…No one cared for the others. I understand that we have semi warped perceptions of the characters from fanon works and things of that nature. But even in canon, the reds and blue care about each other. On their own team and the other team. Simmons, Grif, Tucker, and Caboose spent MONTHS together in chorus and same for Donut/Sarge/Wash. I've recently rewatched blood gulch and Caboose and Sarge have a great dynamic! Tucker and Grif canonically get along pretty well. Simmons was ON BLUE TEAM for like a hot minute there. THEY KNOW EACH OTHER AND CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. This was zero percent present in this film. No one had any motivation to look for Tucker. No one cared that it was Tuckers body inside the suit. THE REDS LEFT CABOOSE FOR DEAD!!!!!! THEY JUST LEFT HIM!!!!

-Tucker, I'm so sorry baby girl, this was supposed to be your arc, your moment. You were hardly in it. No build up to how he became the Meta. The scene where he breaks out of it to not kill caboose was the best part of the arc. And he just wakes up and remembers it "like someone elses Nightmare??" ok sure

-Wash………………WHAT THE FUCK???? WHAT THE FUCK???????????????? WHAT THE FUCK??????? WHAT THE FUCK???? TO RUIN THIS MANS ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC BY MAKING HIM COMPLETELY OBSOLETE. PUTTING HIM IN SOME RANDOM HOSPITAL FOR AN UNKNOWN INJURY THAT HAPPENS OFF SCREEN AND ISN'T EXPLAINED. HAVE HIM HALUCINATING DOC FOR SOME FUCKING REASON. HAVE HIM SHOW UP TO THE FINAL BATTLE AND DO ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING BUT JUMP OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND NOT SAY A WORD TO ANY OF THE RED AND BLUES I AM LIERALLY ABOUT TO FUCKING CRY TYPING THIS I AM LITERALLY SO FUCKING PISSED OFF. AGENT WASHINGTON, THE CHARACTER THAT WAS SO HAPPY IN THE SEASON RIGHT BEFORE CHORUS JUST TO BE ON BLUE TEAM AND HAVE A FUCKING FAMILY AGAIN. JUST SIDELINE HIM FOR NO FUCKING REASON AND THEN NOT LET HIM SPEAK TO ANY OF HIS FRIENDS EXCEPT CAROLINA AND DEAD DOC. AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FACT THAT TUCKER BEING THE META WAS LITERALLY A PLOT POINT CATERED TO HAVE WASH BE INVOLVED. THIS IS LIKE AGENT WASHINGTON ANGST BAIT 101. YES IM A TUCKINGTON SHIPPER BUT PUT ALL SHIPPING ASIDE, THEY WERE STILL FRIENDS, THEY WERE FRIENDS THEY WERE FRIENDS.

Grimmons. I am disappointed. But really not surprised. Honestly for everything I disliked I thought Grimmons was handled ok… at this point im like….. they couldn't even throw us a bone. company was dying, final season airing, and they couldn't even throw us a solid Grimmons queerbait joke. Its whatever….I don't wanna get too upset about shipping because at the end of the day, ships becoming canon isn't what shipping is all about (says Tumblr user "RVB-Canon-Grimmons) you get what im saying.

-Donut…..where was he…..Fucking Homophobic honestly

-DOC IS DEAD?????????????????????????????? FUCKING WHY???

-Sarge's death was fine, I'm not upset by it I just didn't feel like it was emotionally satisfying. Especially after the shock of them leaving Caboose and the much better scene of tucker fighting the meta's control over him to not hurt caboose.

-PEOPLE CALLED U SIR ALL THROUGHOUT CHORUS SIMMONS WHAT THE FUCK??????????? WHY IS SIMMONS PROMOTED AND INCHARGE OF NO ONE???? WHY DID GRIF LEAVE HIM???

Im sorry………..this is so long………just remeber this is only my opinions and if u don't agree thats totally ok!!!!! I am just a critical bitch….

[drawingoddessy]

Hyper-analysis of Lightbulb season 2 episode 12

Part 1

(This is my very extra delve into lightbulbs character and arc during the episode)

We start the episode with Marshmallow getting kicked out of the challenge. Paintbrush was understandably sad upon loosing a friend they were remotely close to. Lightbulb however was upset over loosing Baxter, paralleling Paintbrushes grief but more exaggerated. I like to imagine Baxter works as a sort of Emotional support animal that Lightbulb connect herself to, so she was actually upset upon loosing him. But made it extra to be comical because she doesn't like being actually emotional in front of others. This will be one out of many times she would hide her negative feelings through positivity and jokes throughout the entire episode.

 Lightbulb notices Paintbrush is genuinely upset over loosing marshmallow and decides to connect to their emotion using Baxter

This doesn’t work because even though the intention is to cheer up Paintbrush, Paintbrush sees it as another nonsensical Lightbulb moment. Paintbrush expresses the idea of the splitting teams being a good idea for the two.

This visibly upsets Lightbulb, we learn later in episode 14-15 that Lightbulb easily feels lonely and loves her friends a LOT. She never thought of Painbrush as less of a friend even when Paintbrush was constantly angry at her. So now she sees they didn’t see her the same.

Paintbrush talks about how they were the actual leader and Lightbulbs was just..there… with their nonsensicality. This will impact Lightbulb and will be very important for later. Paintbrush says they’re still friends but Lightbulb thinks that Paintbrush just says that to make her feel better.

Lightbulb is the most visibly upset we’ve ever seen her in front of someone

She realizes that she’s actually showing she is upset and quickly corrects it using her positivity and jokes 

But the moment Paintbrush leaves she instantly allows herself to look sad again.

This conversation will affect lightbulbs decisions and problem solving for the entire episode. This also begins to show her toxic positivity and how she tends to hide negative emotions.

Cut to the next time we see her, she’s getting soda from Testtube

“I drink when I’m depressed” This is the first time she has ever vocalized depression…

She instantly stops herself and clarifies that she isn’t. You can see in her face that she definitely panicked a bit realizing her facade may have slipped. (which, if im correct, is the first time her facade has actually slipped in front ofothers)

So she turns it into a joke.

She coughs out Baxter (somehow) further implementing it was a joke but she has her emotional support crab!  

She says “he never gets depressed” as a projection of a part of her. Her toxic positivity makes her feel like she isn't allowed to feel sad.. So she projects that part of her to the Baxter, the crab she's grown really attached to.

Lightbulb wacky hijinx insue and her and Testtube get sent back to the past. Upon this new realization that time travel actually is a thing and her first instinct is to joke about the situation.  

One of the realizations I had while I was rewatching the episode to make this is the fact that Lightbulb seems super excited to be back in time to season 1. Now it could just be the coolness of time travel.. but think about it. Lightbulb wasn’t the only one who was quirky and chaotic, the entire season was full of characters that were insane and less…sad. She states later that “things aren’t so simple anymore” showing that she does in fact miss the simplicity of the first season when it wasn’t so emotionally complicated.  

Anyways to continue, she waves to paintbrush bc this version of paintbrush still “likes/wants” her. This is her past, and showing a time where she belonged more. This also shows she still rlly like paintbrush even after their “falling out” (in her eyes)  

When test tube smacks her hand away she realizes this is not “her” paintbrush. Not the one she left behind. This was a less morally complicated one, one that also partook in all the nonsensicallity and chaos with her. In a way, Lightbulb misses that simplicity.  

After this realization she hears Salt and pepper talking, salt says “off that?? no way!” Kinda like how Paintbrush questioned Lightbulbs judgement 24/7, which is why she looks almost irritated. The emotions of the conversation with paintbrush is literally constantly spilling out of her through these mini expressions. This entire episode is affected by that single argument and their dynamic of logic vs Chaos.   

This one is obvious, Lightbulb sees salt and pepper as her and Paintbrush. She pushed them off together as this is what she wants to do with Paintbrush. She wants to stick together because she herself likes working with others. This judgement is made entirely by her mental state at this point. We all know she wants to stay with Paintbrush and teamwork their way to the end. And this is just her way of expressing that desire. 

Now time to go in the future! Here she meets the cast of Inanimate Insanity Infinity, and they’re all like her, nonsensical, whimsy, chaotic.

 A bunch of character introductions later and we get to see another instance of Lightbulbs struggles with emotions and understanding how to deal with them. Testtube shows signs of distress and the first thing Lightbulb does is make a nonsensical joke to attempt to help her and breaks the calculator. Only for it to backfire and anger Testtube.

This leads to another person being mad at Lightbulb for her hyper and chaotic personality. Leading to her feeling more of a disconnect with the world she’s from.  

Eventually Lightbulb takes leadership as she’s used to, but now her team is like her.. she didn’t like the intense competitive environment of the game that only grew tenfold after season 1. She just wants to have fun with friends that like being with her.

 More instances of her fitting in more here and living the ideal she wishes was realistic the reaction they have to Baxter. They all love Baxter and let Lightbulb talk about him. While in her world everyone ignored Baxter or really cared about him until later.

 This place is perfect to Lightbulb, everyone is like her. Here Lightbulb can just have fun and enjoy friendship without complexity. And so she gets to live out her dream, a competition that no one is competitive or sad. Just fun. This is a form of escapism to flee that disconnect she feels from her world.  

Next Part

[mintaikk]

Moments I Think Blitzø Realized His Feelings for Stolas, Part 3: Stolas's Chains

Imma just go in backwards order ig. Part 1, Part 2

Truth Seekers is what made me say, "Okay, fine, I ship it!" After denying it for 5 episodes. There so much juicy Stolitz stuff and Blitzø angst to analyze! Many people have done this already, but goddammit, I want a piece of the cake too! Won't analyze the hallucination though, that's veen done enough. But I'll analyze some parts!

Throughout the entire hallucination, Blitzø is being pushed around by the people he's had a romantic or sexual connection with in the past. Moxxie insults him and berates him the entire time, and we know he has sexual feelings for Moxxie (I feel like Millie isn't here because she's never shown hostility to Blitzø, so he doesn't see her as 'bad. Edit: It's bcuz he finally found a friend he doesnt want to fuck im so happy for him 🥺'). Fizz is here making fun of him, and thst was his childhood friend who he had a crush on, but it ended horribly (💌🎂🕯🔥). Verosika is his ex girlfriend and drags him around and gets into his face calling him "a selfish shitty shit fuck." Striker is there as well calling out Blitzø's lies to himself about wanting to do things alone, and that fits well because he asked Striker to join IMP, and we know he had some attraction to him. The point is, everyone in the hallucination is someone he has been attracted too, and they're all including him and dragging him around against his will.

But then we see Stolas and all the insults and berating stops. He simply just asks, "Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?"

This is the only person Blitzø actually goes towards. He runs up the stares, trying to escape everyone else. Why? For comfort? Because they were there? Or because he wanted to go to Stolas?

He looks at Stolas in awe, with his eyes wide and gasping. And then he starts crawling towards him.

At first, he willingly crawls up the stares. He looks tired and energy drained, but he doesn't look angry. Maybe a bit nervous, but not angry. But as he gets closer, chains appear around him, and Stolas uses them to bring him closer. But he doesn't fight these chains. I looked up some symbolism, and apparently, chains can symbolize "eternal love and human connection" (from gatsbyjewllery.co.uk). But they also symbolize feeling trapped. I think this shows that Blitzø feels trapped by his emotions for Stolas, and like he's powerless against them. He's falling again, despite how his past relationships turned out, but he's still doing it again. And he's powerless against it.

Look at him! He's not having a good time! He looks surprised and hurt and frustrated, but he still goes along with Stolas, because while Stolas is pulling him closer, Blitzø isn't struggling and still goes to him. I think it's multiple things here. He feels like he has to do it for the book, but it also goes back to his emotions again, and feeling powerless against them, and feeling powerless when he's with Stolas.

Look at him. In the first image, he just looks nervous while Stolas holds a hand over his collar. But then, when Stolas tightens it, Blitzø starts blushing and looks both nervous and embarrassed. He's embarrassed because he likes it, and he has feelings for Stolas, but he also feels like a pet or a plaything. He's scared for the same reasons he's embarrassed; he likes it. If he likes it, that's a dangerous slope of falling again, but then leaving Stolas fucked up, and Stolas will see how much of a terrible person he is.

Ah, then my favorite part. The ✨️festhers✨️

Everyone in the drug trip dissappears, with Stolas (and Moxxie) disappearing into golden feathers. I think the gold feathers at this point symbolize the truth, which is why both Moxxie and Stolas disappeared with gold feathers. They've been calling him out on all the emotions he had buried, so of course they're the ones that change. But then, instead of going in the weird tornado thing, Stolas's feathers cling onto him.

In the first picture, Blitzø is just noticing the feathers. He looks annoyed and angry and disgusted ("ew, feelings"). The chains are still on him, but without the actual chains. I'm sure that means something, but I can't figure it out. Maybe symbolizing hisblingering emotions??

In the second image, he's now aware of the feathers that are there and is actiey swatting them away. He's grimacing and hunched over, clearly feeling vulnerable, angry, and scared.

By this image, the feathers have taken over most of his body. He looks confused and angry about it, and they're covering his mouth. He holds his hands up like he doesn't want to even touch them.

And by the last image, the feathers have fully taken over his body, and he's screaming in pain. If the feathers symbolize truth, and one of his truths is his feelings for Stolas, the feathers are his true feelings wrapping around his body until he can no longer ignore or handle them.

Later after the trip ends he says, "I have delt with one two many emotions for tonight, let's fuck these fuckers up!" There he goes, ignoring his emotions again with violence or sex.

This was supposed to be a short series, but my god, there is a lot more.

[spiral-writing-stuff]

hi hi! i saw ur requests were open? (sorry if theyre closed)

Can i request a Akutagawa x gender neutral teen reader? (Platonic ofcou) basically reader looks up to Akutagawa and sees him as a older brother figure and akutagawa sees them as a younger sibling :3 can it be angst also? like where one of them is badly hurt and the other is crying and all that jazz

pls and thank you <3

authors note: Don’t worry! If my bio says requests are open then they are! I just take a while to write because there’s a lot of stuff going on in my life, so I’m really sorry this took so long! Im thinking of splitting this into 2-3 parts because I’m still thinking of how to write the rest of the story, I have the plot already in my head but I just need to put it into words. This request is sooo cute big brother akutagawa is just such a great concept:,) Also so sorry if the angst isn’t good lol I’m not very good at writing creative sad stuff! (Please give me feedback!😭) also sorry if it’s too angsty i think I went a little overboard again. I might edit this story later.

Sorry this took so long!

I also couldn’t decide if reader is older or younger than Gin so you guys decide.

I Hope it’s what you wanted!!<3

On a Silver Night

Content/Warnings: angst, gore, blood/injury, abuse/child abuse, death, Dazai being a bastard, lmk if I missed anything

For as long as you can remember, Ryūnosuke was always protecting you and gin, as if you two are the thing he lives for. which you both are at this point He has always tried his hardest to defend you, gin, and the other children from thieves and abusive adults, he didn’t do it to be righteous, nor did he do it to feel better about himself, he just did. At least, that’s what you thought, it was hard deciphering his intent because everything he did, he did with the same, emotionless stare. People would always mention this fact. Even when he was killing, stealing, or when you found some food or someone told a joke, he always had the same blank expression. You thought it was funny sometimes though he never once showed any emotion, that didn’t matter to you, his actions spoke clearer than any words could.

Like when he would sometimes hug you and gin to keep you warm during cold nights, when he found food he would share it with the two of you first. And if anyone dared to threaten or try to hurt any of you they would be dead in an instant by Rashōmon’s sharp fangs. Yes, his facial expressions didn’t matter, he was trying his hardest to keep you and Gin from experiencing the harsh cruelty of the word, but he was still just a boy himself. There wasn’t much a malnourished and frail child could do, yet he persisted, despite how many times he’d fallen. You looked up to him and had a deep respect for him because of this.

Even though it was a horrible situation all of you were living in, you were happy just to be with your older brother, sister and the other children. Among all the other children, You, Gin and Ryūnosuke were the ones you were closest to.

Until that fateful day, when a group of criminals murdered all the other children in cold blood, leaving You and Gin injured, and Ryūnosuke thirsty for blood.

~ ~ ~

Gin had helped Akutagawa escape but you three got separated amidst the chaos and confusion, you held Gin’s hand tightly as you two ran and ran until you two were exhausted, collapsing onto the damp, cold ground. The air was foggy and cold, the night dark while the moon illuminated your surroundings with a silver light. After a few minutes of struggling to catch your breath you got up from the dirty ground and remembered only Gin was with you, Ryūnosuke had ran off in search of the criminals who killed your friends. Fear and panic shot through your body, terrified that Ryū was going to get himself killed.

“G-gin! W-we have to find Ryū!” You said to Gin in a rushed shaky voice. She swiftly nodded.

You two began running, this time slower due to how tired you both were. You were heading in the direction of where the shipment was said to be taking place.

“Gin! I think we’re almost there—“ you stopped when you saw a tall man walking in your direction with a shorter person. The shorter person had a black coat draped over his shoulders, the man seemed to be waking directly to you now, a smile on his face.

“Be careful Gin.. s-stand behind me..” you got in front of Gin just in case, until you realized the shorter person was Ryūnosuke, his eyes were slightly puffy and tearful, he had been crying. your heart dropping at the sight. Immediately you throw yourself at Ryū pulling him away from the mysterious man

“Just who are you and what are you doing with my big brother?!” You frantically yell at the man, hiding Ryū and Gin behind you

The man glares at you with boredom in his face, as if this was all nothing to him, but then he started to smirk slightly “Brother? Oh, I knew Akutagawa had a sister but I didn’t know he had another sibling. What’s your name?” He said with a mischievous face, He reached out his hand to seemingly pat your head but you smacked it away immediately, surprising him a bit “you didn’t answer my question-“ you felt a hand on your shoulder and turned around “Y/n…cough it’s okay..you don’t have to worry..” Ryū weakly said to you. Your heart ached at the sight of his bloodied and bruised face, looking down you can see he has bloody scratches on his knees, arms and legs, his entire body was hurt.

“Hm? Oh, right! Sorry about that! Where are my manners?” He said rather loudly “My name is Dazai Osamu, I just got promoted to a Mafia Executive today, Which means, I now have the authority to do certain things. like taking anyone as my subordinate, and your brother here has accepted my offer.” Dazai said soft-spoken yet somehow overbearing with a kind smile that didn’t reach his eyes. You were confused by the man’s statement, many thoughts ran through your mind;

“Would Ryūnosuke really agree to join the mafia? Especially join through this guy? How would we be guaranteed safety? What if this is just a trap to exploit Ryū’s ability? What if he kills us?”

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a dangerous, slightly condescending soft voice “you don’t have to worry, if i wanted you dead, I would have done so the second I laid eyes on you.” He said to you, it’s as if he read your mind. He was staring into your eyes as you stared back, his eyes void of any emotion, much like your brother’s, except you found a deep cruelness to them, it terrified you.

“Well, it was just gonna be Akutagawa here and his sister, but I can make arrangements, just for you.” His eyes went back to a neutral state “I promise,” he puts his hand on his chest “that the three of you will be fed, clothed, housed and compensated accordingly, as long as you work under me, no one else in the mafia will dare harm you.” Dazai reached his hand out to you, a sweet smile on his face

“so Y/n, do we have a deal?”

~ ~ ~

To be continued.

Notes: it is 5am as I write this, can you believe I’ve been writing and tweaking this since April 7th??!? And this isn’t even that long. What ADHD does to a mf

Honestly I’m not sure if I should continue this, obviously if more people wanna read it than yeah since I have the story already in my head, just need the motivation. So comment and tell me that you want more!!!

Anyways hope y’all enjoyed. Stay hydrated!