#im dumb ignore me lol
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the way that if any bh member died now it wouldnt even be a "oh no im gonna miss them :(" feeling but more so a "man they didnt even really get a chance to finish anything" feeling is.
#bh didnt really get a chance to make enough 'good' memories to miss anything about the group dynamic if one dies#like look at fcg he died and the only reason it's like 'damn' is because he died Before aeor and speaking to gods#so i dont miss him so much as miss his missed opportunities lol#and then if orym had died to zathuda it wouldve been like 'damn he died protecting someone but what a dumb and sudden battle yknow? oh well#not even to begin talkin about how the plot makes bh a slightly 'unbiased' (HEAVY quotation marks) party#but it also makes it so they really dgaf what happens either way when it comes down to it and you can Feel that#DIDNT EVEN GET TO EXPLORE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS OUTSIDE OF EACH OTHER ENOUGH#TO FEEL ANY STAKES IN LOSING THE WORLD#like if everyone but bh died really who are we losing. why do i care.#like try answering that question without mentioning people who AREN'T from this campaign#we didnt spend enough time with npcs for their absence to be felt more than 'ohh noo :( anyway'#theyve got nothing to fight for and NO thats not deep or on purpose theyre barely even fighting for each other#'class of students who's plane crashed on an island and they just gotta work together now' ass party dynamic I HATE IT HERE#anyway ignore everything i do love cr3 im just unbelievably frustrated at [gestures wildly and indiscriminately]#'yeah cr3 sucks compared to--' shut up youre not affiliated with me
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Besides Danmarch (and low key FeiQiu?), what other Honkai Star Rail ships do you like?
not many honestly!!! danmarch is my fav i love their silly banter....yanli is my new second fav HEHHEHEHEHEHE you cant give me two cute kids who have so much in common and yet end up as childish bickering rivals anyway and then their mentors forcing them into the get-along-tshirt (metaphorically) and expect me not to love them instantly heheeee
#more rambling from me below but#i dont have any stelle ships yet#she just seems so incredibly lowkey#shes just chilling like the cool cousin. i think i like her better as this blank-faced dumb chill person#i know hsr was trying to push the firefly agenda but i just...cannot stand her ass lmao i know its probably an unpopular opinion#i hate when games only give you a really short ass time to befriend a character and then all of a sudden its like (you care very much)#(her death fills you with rage) like i barely know her???#when everyone was like (im so sorry about firefly i know you were close...)#and im like uhh i mean not really i knew her for like 30mins but sure#if they did the firefly death with march??? or dan heng??? or himeko ???? then i can see stelle being MAD MAD BRO#but this new random person.....nah#anyway. ignore my ramblings i wish games put more effort into relationship development lol#if you like firefly thats cool. i get it#i just cannot get on board with her#ironically thought SAM was cool as hell and the reveal really did surprise me. kudos to not being predictable#but for me it was like that post where its like#character keeps mask/helmet on: !!! <33333#character takes mask/helmet off: :/
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So nice that my new Cassian figurine has a hand attachment made specially for Jyn 😊💕
#call that the bridgerton s3 special lol#im nasty and dumb please ignore me#rebelcaptain#cassian andor#star wars rogue one
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mann i rly need to stop relying so heavily on validation from others dont i pfft... like an art im proud of doesnt immediately get attention and i'm just like 'wellp guess i'm the Worst Artist in the world and no one fucking cares about me' which isnt TRUE I KNow it's not true shut up shut up @ me shut UP SHUT UP
#anyway im trying to distract my brain from thinking bout this cos it's so fucking dumb#but the way i chose to distract myself is by watching a let's play and it's made me feel kinda ill because of my motion sickness#so now im both feeling like shit AND just feeling like a failure lmao help#personal#ignore this im just being sad lol
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act annoying on this post and ill block you ♡
everyone accusing black sails fans of Being Rude In The Notes owes me $10 for making me look in the notes (like. What. WHERE) and $10 more for subsequently making me witness the Stede fans also being unhinged petty assholes but it doesnt count when they do it, i guess?
at this point im saltier about Black Sails fans being repeatedly being called assholes but ofmd fans Not being called out for probably the same behavior or worse? and with what feels like very little. evidence? god damn
#toy txt post#pirate poll#if you reply to this post you are in danger of being blocked and ignored#note: after having looked in the notes at what yall are calling mean and cunty amd asshole behavior from flint stans#i would like to add a disclaimer that none of you literally owe me $10 its a silly fucking thing im saying online that means nothing#lest ppl decide to add exortion to the list of crimes we're accusing flint stans of out of ? little to no basis#ftr im a flint voter but i also like stede and ofmd bc im starved for gay pirate shows. these shows are holding hands. these#shows are having a conversation and all of your being dumb in the notes about either one of them owe me and the#poll runner $10 each. again. not a literal statement unless u like. really want to i guess? lmao#i have issue w all yall. those of u voting flint cos stede took a pardon and irl stede bonnet was a slaveowner#are voting for the correct choice for entirely wrong reasons#its not irl stede on the vote its ofmd stede. flint has said his crew has sold more slaves than theyve freed#and the pardon........ill get into that tomorrow#the ppl hating stede for abandoning mary are hilarious to me sorry. he abandoned her and then she was like. finally thriving#the ppl hating flint for being edgy.....specifically that person admitting they didnt even watch past the first episode...#im glad u are not in the fandom i dont think we'd get along lol#u think flints bad for being edgy........whew#to the person who hasnt seen either show but voted flint bc he seemed more chill: you are the funniest person on this earth and i love you#that man is the least chill a man has ever been#and only finally seems chill by comparison when its Silver's turn to go off the rails and then its like not even for very long#hes the least chill there is and hes valid#anyway. one fear: thousands of salty ofmd fans hatevoting flint into oblivion into the next round#if you do that or are planning to do that. i hate you and you are extremely annoying#god he really is vriska. god forbid gay pirate women do anything 🙄#they h8te to see a 8ad 8itch winning
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i think it’s really funny how growing up i didn’t understand social interaction to the point i never even realised i didn’t understand social interaction/social rules and cues/children things. like there’s a plethora of social things that are ��normal” that i never got to do growing up. ive only recently realised this by the way bc university forces me to talk with people and i have a lot of difficulty Talking With Them. not in a socially anxious way (im not) but like. with tone and meaning and wording and being blunt. lol im extremely straightforward and people 1. do not like that 2. don’t think i’m being serious (?). sometimes i feel like i live in a different world why do people don’t understand what im saying. anyway random and i’m rambling but i’ve been thinking about this
#this year i played uno for the first time in my life#but i swear to god social interaction is such a struggle to me because i don’t understand what i’m doing wrong#i don’t get what’s different from How I Talk to how Other People Talk#also lol im sooooo literal sometimes it’s frustrating#and sometimes like i even process things like sarcasm and irony but my brain decides to ignore it bc it makes no sense#or i decide to take things at face value bc i don’t think the sarcasm makes sense in context#i think sarcasm is kinda dumb btw lol just say what you mean already#anyway it’s 5 am and i have a terrible headache ♡
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if I’m being so honest my doctor should just listen to me if she wants me to listen to her lol mutual respect bestie ever hear of it
#time to take more stuff I’m not supposed to take (melatonin dw nothing bad my doctors just an idiot)#I’m not supposed to drink on this medication at all & im not supposed to take melatonin when I drink#we’ll. if she wanted me to listen maybe she should’ve taken me fr fr when I said I’m an alcoholic that’s not realistic#& hey my sleep issues are pretty bad that’s not realistic#or any of the other stuff she just ignores me about#dumb bitch lol#she can suck my dick imma do what I wanna do 🫶
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u "don't vote" motherfuckers r stupid as shit
#like yes obviously voting is not enough we all know this we are not five#but would u rather fight joe biden (half dead zionist freak) or Mr. Actively Wants To Be A Dictator and his merry goons#y'all r just dumb as rocks#and you come on to every single post on this website to say it too ha ha everyone make sure the dictator has your team colors!!!#as if that is the only reason people might have for trying to get you to vote#voting doesn't make you complicit in the government's actions because they will happen either way#literal trolley problem and you brain titans think the solution is to just say be edward cullen and stand in front of the trolley#but y'all aren't superheroes or epic vampires y'all are squishy citizens like the rest of us so its best to make the trolley easier to stop#+ half of y'all don't actually do anything to oppose the government so lol just shut up and fuck off some of us are trying to do something#and that is to say nothing of downballot races which are DIRECTLY impacting communities#and telling people not to vote period all but ensures those will fail and vulnerable communities will get fucked#all so you can tell yourself ur a special epic politics angel like just fuck off#this is coming from someone who voted green in the last election like i was there i was with y'all stupid asses#but with the way things have developed since it is completely ignorant to try and force the greens to 5% or something#that's not the system we are in#regardless all you have to do to make the battlefield more favorable is take a few hours to vote and shut up#very small price to pay to have an easier time actually advocating and making the necessary changes to stop this backslide#anyway whatever i just hate you guys i think you're stupid#no better to me than Qanoners who think they're the enlightened political masters of the universe#AND what's more every time you guys say don't vote you NEVER follow up with what people SHOULD do not once have i seen it#like at least do that at least have a real plan but y'all don't cuz as mentioned ur dumb as rocks#ok im done being angry have a good day gamers
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I keep feeling this yearning lately, this tight feeling inside me all the time esp when I'm trying to sleep, an intense sad feeling that nothing I do makes better and I think I'm just yearning for comfort. for someone to talk to me and touch me and look after me a bit. it's just been so long, and I've never let myself experience.. actually can't remember a single time in my life I've let myself experience being comforted lol. every time someone tries I get so tense and anxious and I have to get out of it
#ed mumbles#im running out of ways to deal with it#cutting isnt helping like it used to#drugs are currently making it worse#pet cuddles arent working#baking isnt working i just feel numb after#i need more ambien lol#cause i cant get past that aversion and even if i could#i don't know. theres too many barriers#there have been times#like as a kid crying.. but my mum always ignored me or told me to stop playing dumb#tried once as a teen and she just rolled her eyes and said shes sick of teenage girls#when i tried with my dad he left suddenly while i was talking#HE ASKED ME TO TALK TO HIM ABOHT IT#he left bc i was talking too much and not letting Him talk#a few times cried in school but i just sat there crying and nobody noticed#then i stopped being able to cry#idk man#i just need a hug and for someone to make me tea and be close to me#but at the same time id rather die
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because i am always always ALWAYS anxious that someone is gonna interpret something i say in bad faith i made that anti-transmasculinity post bc there was a minute or two on tumblr and twitter where trans men were the Embarassing Cringe Queers Du Jour and people were like 'lol trans men dont even face any sort of discrimination outside of garden variety transphobia' which is patently fuckin untrue and im very tired of being called a 'pussy' and a 'whiner' because people do not take me seriously as a man unless its to claim im a predator or violent so. theres that
#spitblaze says things#inb4 'lev you gotta curate your online experience better' DO YOU THINK I DONT TRY!!!#DO YOU THINK I DONT ATTEMPT TO KEEP MYSELF AWAY FROM THE DUMB SHIT PEOPLE SAY ONLINE#DO YOU THINK I DONT HAVE TO CONTINUALLY TELL MYSELF NOT TO THINK ABOUT INTERNET TRANSPHOBIA IN BED AT NIGHT#BECAUSE MY ANXIETY LOVES TO FOCUS ON SHIT LIKE THAT#DO YOU THINK. I HAVE NOT TRIED TO PUT THIS OUT OF MY MIND AND IGNORE IT.#idk why i got so mad about that. its been a while since ive been able to openly complain about shitheads online#without getting 'just curate your online experience better' in response#complaining is cathartic and they're right but like. it feels good to complain esp when its actually bothering me lol#i mean they're absolutely right that i gotta curate better but. adhd/anxiety yannow lol#anyway. in case some weirdo tries to claim im a stupid dumb idiot who knows nothing abt anti-transmasculinity#i tend to forget shit and that post was made at a specific point in time so dont fuckin @ me
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[pained wailing emoji]
#.pdf#rd#THE REST OF THIS IS JSUT ME WHINING. FEEL FREE TO IGNORE#i dont wanna go to work ‼️‼️‼️ i feel like i am nearing a breaking point i am sofucking burnt out#every time i go to work. my brain gets Scary at me. stresses me out. dont like it ☹️#im supposedto be going in tonigjt but im dreading it sososo much#my work hour options have changed from “fully flexible” to “7am-9pm only” whcih yeah i know that doesnt sound that bad. but i have non-24#(circadian rhythm disorder that makes me sleep progressively later every day circling fully around the clock over ~3 weeks or so)#and bcos of it often i have to force myself out of bed in what my body thinks may as well be the middle of the night just to get to work#and then i dont ever get enough time to recover from that to actually let my sleep fall back into its natural schedule wjich is the only#time i feel properly rested. so essentially im chronically sleep deprived which is making me chronically stressed and way less productive#i just reslly really want to fucking save up a little money and just Not work for a week or two. bjt. with my sleep bullshit i cant really#work enough to be able to put anything aside. at all#so. kind of an unrealistic desire i guess. lol#ive been feeling like this ever since like early january when i was told i ahve to stick to a more normal schedule. & its only getting worse#idont know i just wishthere was something i could do that was fully flexible on timing but also doesnt havw the kind of workload that would-#-stress me out like basically anything with longer-term projects so ykmow Most flexible schedule jobs.#i do have one thing in mind i could do on my own but its dumb and probably wouldnt make much money and has startup costs i cant afford rn..
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It's so weird to me when a blog you've been following for a while likes or reblogs something from you but doesn't follow back? Like it kinda feels like they're giving a patronizing pat on the head while saying "I see you, you're not quite annoying enough to block, but you're also not cool enough to follow" lmao
#lol idk#dumb thoughts#its not that serious#but like#you could've just kept ignoring me#lol#am I wrong? I'm willing to admit it if I am#is there some weird etiquette im not aware of? am i the weird one?#either way it really doesnt matter lol just seems kinda odd
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#ok ik all the hot take asks are pre much done and the sparkly say smth nice asks are better but well I’ve been having thoughts all day at#work and want to get them out now so that’s what I’m doing lol#obvs for the past few months i think ppl are vv heavily leaning into the dnf /r and I firmly believe that they aren’t#like yes I enjoy being a multi shipper but I still primarily read dnf fics bc they’re cute dnf writers and artists MWAHH ilysm#but it’s been increasingly annoying how every move dnf make ppl hyper obsess over it and ignore everything else like blog what u want this#is tumblr dot com but I think ppl how only see dnf thro the lens of romantic do much more ‘harm’ than ppl who dont#like the argument about taking validation out of their very REAL amazing friendship just gets over shadowed by omg Dream posted a pic of#geogre they’re in LOVE and sucking and FUCKING every night. like#and then completely disregard when dnf do and say the exact same shit about all their other friends#like dream has explicitly said they aren’t dating (ignore that tho) amd that’s he’s kissed multiple ppl since coming out (ignore that too)#and their friends naturally say that they’re all single (ignore that too) idk man it’s ok they like to pander amd that dream is a toxic#dnfer but it’s all just For Funsies. another thing is ppl CONSTANTLYYYY putting geohres sexuality under a microscope oh he drinks lemonade#from Starbucks he’s soooo gay like dumb shit like that is so irritating#the fact that geogre has never once talked about his sexuality except that one instance where he got a DONO about it proves how much it#just doesn’t matter or apply to the type of content creator he is/wants to be#to be clear if he is or isn’t or dnf every explicitly announce their romantic relationship im gonna be sooooo happy and supportive like aw#dnfogies🫶🏻 but I think there’s a 99.9% chanve that’ll never happen so maybe we should all just care a Little Less and focus on out lgbt#creators if that’s smth u wanna watch/blog about idk maybe I’m just burnt out from the phandom but whyyyyy does is matter what their#sexualities are they play minecraft who cares who CARESSSS idk maybe just having older brothers around dtqk ages has made me realize that#guys will just act homiesexual no matter What#guys are just Like That and tbc I’m not saying that just bc gnf hasn’t made an official coming out doesn’t mean he’s not queer but for the#sake of his contwnt it doesn’t matter either way ? so why are ppl talking about it on the daily idk man it’s just annoying but Oh Well#at the end of the day they’re all famous white guys and nothing matters hurray !!
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Family drama under the cut lol.
My brother and sister got into a huge fight on Christmas, and somehow I keep getting dragged into it even though I wasnt even there!
And now my sister is sharing the texts? Like
Like what the fuck?? For context, my sister said he wasnt a combat veteran because he was never deployed, and he called her daughter a bitch. Like. They're both shitty things to do but again, I wasnt there and I havent been involved in any of this??
So what the fuck did I do to deserve having my education called useless 🤣 that dumb bitchass dropped out of three different colleges himself. At least I fucking graduated, even if my degree has been useless (but not my education ffs that's separate from the piece of paper I got at the end)
Also we work in the same place and literally have the same career right now?
Goddamn being the middle child somehow always means I get dragged in the middle of this shit
But also like.
Fucking. Really.
#crap#kinda want to text this screen shot to him and be like. hey. stop fucking bringing me up ass hole#suicide mention#family drama#im pretty drama adverse when it comes to actually being in it lol#im like do i want to text him these screen shots with a ??? or do i just want this dumb shit to cool down#or just be like hey would you stop trying to drag me into your dumbshit arguments?#my cat has nothing to do with your arguments and neither does my education#or do i just want to fucking ignore it because i dont want to deal with his dumb hissy fits#maybe ill just text them to mom with why does he keep bringing me up lol
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y'all real quick, this is important ‼️
do i eat jjajangmyeon today or kimchi shin ramyun? 🧐
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Baldur's Gate 3 has me in such a chokehold rn. why do I have work tomorrow
#a week off and all I did was play this dumb game lol#Hannah I blame u why did u buy me this game bro /s#I should probably get back to writing stuff soon since im like almost done w Act 2 so...#personal#ignore me
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