I keep feeling this yearning lately, this tight feeling inside me all the time esp when I'm trying to sleep, an intense sad feeling that nothing I do makes better and I think I'm just yearning for comfort. for someone to talk to me and touch me and look after me a bit. it's just been so long, and I've never let myself experience.. actually can't remember a single time in my life I've let myself experience being comforted lol. every time someone tries I get so tense and anxious and I have to get out of it
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if i had an allergic reaction again will my friend appear to hold my hand again if i get really drunk again will they carry me home if i'm too sick to get up will she call me at 5 AM to check up again if we've missed a flight and we're stuck in city we weren't meant to be in at 2AM will he tell me about philosophy again if i make bad decisions will she almost slap me in the face and hand me a cigarette again if i feel lost will she share shitty kebab and tell me about her life again will we get to play poker together again
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My mother like "why dont you go to a nutritionist" I'm not paying 100 euros out of pocket to go get scolded like a child by some thin italian equivalent of a former high school mean girl who still thinks carbs are the devil thank you
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