#im doing a trial period to see how it goes

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Permission as a concept is fake

Do what you want and be adult enough to accept the consequences for it

[leclerced]

🌼anon here!(sorry for the multiple asks today idk maybe I'm ovulating) between maxoscar,landoscar and max-lando who do you think would be the most feral?....i just feel that lando - max threesome would make anyone loose their mind. Them taking turns to corrupt the reader😵‍💫

hi daisy !! i love all the asks so it’s okay!! im on my period and extremely horny so i dont mind 🫶🏻

i am a maxoscar girlie thru and thru so i want to say them but im going to tell u all my thoughts bc i dont think its that simple. all feral in dif ways. but lando is less feral and i explained that at the end.

max and oscar are both very calm and level headed, not very reactive, so they wouldn’t be noticeably excited, if that makes sense. they’d be up for anything, and if they suggest doing something new and kinky, it’s with a very neutral, almost bored expression and tone, “hey i’ve been reading about bondage, how do you feel about being tied up?” reader is the one who gets kinda feral, super eager for whatever it is, kinda like “oh my god yeah lets do that. i wanna do that right now.” would do literally anything though, it doesn’t matter who is suggesting it or what it is, they’re down to try it at least once.

landoscar would bounce off each other a lot, lando gets weird ideas and oscar goes along with them without too much thought. he just looks up whatever new weird thing lando wants to do and helps him talk to reader about it, chances are none of them have done it before so there’s some of trial and error when they’re trying new things. i think lando would be really high energy and excited about it, same with reader, and oscar slows them down and reminds them to take their time, not to get caught in the moment.

max lando would function very similarly, with max taking on a kind of guiding role and keeping lando in line. lando’s v eager to please, happy to listen to max’s commands especially when it’s something he wants to do like overstim reader. feral in that sense.

specifically with lando, w max or oscar, i feel like there’s things he wouldn’t do bc he’s squeamish. just certain things would wig him out so he’s less feral than max and oscar, who would do anything at least once just to see if they like it. or even do stuff they don’t necessarily get off to bc reader does and just getting her off gets them off so it doesn’t matter if they like it as much. lando would have a few things he just considers gross bc he doesn’t like the way smth feels on his skin or smth like that. maybe food kink? reader suggests playing with whip cream and he’s like “no. that only goes on ice cream or pie. it’s so messy it’d get all over the sheets and we’ll have to shower because we’ll be gross and sticky. i hate being sticky. what if it gets in my hair?” meanwhile oscar’s imagining all the different things he can drip onto her and lick off, like honey or chocolate, or what he can dip in whatever he’s covered her in. lando would cringe at the idea.

[steddieas-shegoes]

first off i just wanna say im loving everything youve written for ppls requests! how do u feel abt jock el? i feel like she maybe wouldnt understand sports at first and might struggle w the rules and fair play, but ends up really loving physical activity that has nothing to do w her powers, just her own hard work and sweat and skills she’s honed through practice all by herself, and the experience of being on a team. i can totally imagine her getting super competitive too, and being a super aggressive player in literally every sport. also, hopper is definitely the parent who yells at the referee and coaches during his kids games.

also i hope your day is going well whenever you see this!

Okay this was cuuuuuute. I really love the idea of El fitting in so well with sports people, but still never leaving her little group of nerds and badasses. I also love her just naturally being so good at every sport she tries because she is deeply in touch with what her body is capable of because of her powers, but never once using them. I maybe threw Wayne in a bit more than anyone would expect because I will always find a reason to do that. Also, this is a weird coincidence, but the Olympic swim trials for 2024 will take place in Indianapolis.- Mickala ❤️

-------------------------------------------------------

When things settle down, El goes back to school with everyone.

It’s hard at first. She never really fit in before, and she definitely doesn’t fit in now that people have seen official government security pretty much standing guard over her.

Even after they left, people still whispered when she ran errands with Joyce or Hop and went out with the rest of the party.

But she was determined to have as normal a life as she could, and that meant going to school.

High school here was better, even with the weird looks and silent bullies.

She had her friends.

She also had gym.

In California, she’d hated gym. She didn’t like getting dressed in front of everyone so she always got in trouble for taking too long. The girls in her class usually found ways to be lazy and she didn’t want to make herself more of an outcast, so she just didn’t participate most of the time.

But here, Lucas was in her gym class. So was Will, though he was a little hopeless when it came to anything beyond walking the mile.

Max was excused from gym for the rest of high school if she wanted.

Hard to argue with a letter from the literal President.

Mike and Dustin had a different period, but that was fine since they hated gym.

El didn’t hesitate to participate here.

She ran the fastest mile, always had the most push ups and pull ups, won every tetherball game. Her team always won volleyball and softball. She won every category in swimming.

The only sport she didn’t play was basketball, much to Steve’s disappointment and Lucas’ secret delight.

The coach recruited her for every sport he could, insisted that she could be the type of player that brings them championship wins.

Hopper was ecstatic, of course, especially when he saw how much El loved it.

She knew better than to use any powers, especially in competitions, but she was so naturally good, it didn’t even cross her mind that she could.

She was physically stronger than most other girls her age, and had already had so much done to her body that she could easily push through a little exhaustion during the 500 meter butterfly race or playing the entire soccer game with only one break.

She watched baseball games with Wayne and Hopper, asked if she could play.

Hopper had her signed up for softball the next day.

She saw a beach volleyball match during the Olympics and asked to play.

Hopper took her to tryouts for the school team as soon as he possibly could.

She made the swim team, made captain within a month. Steve was ecstatic, especially when she won against him every time they did a practice race. Eddie and Will were judges, and El was pretty sure it was just to see Steve shirtless, but she didn’t really mind.

She was having fun.

She was using her natural abilities to get out some of her aggression in a safe way according to Dustin.

Everyone came to her games and meets, but no one was as loud as her dad.

He was on his feet more than he was in his seat, usually pacing and yelling at refs and judges from the stands. Most people didn’t seem to care, or at least didn’t want to say anything to the reinstated police chief.

Steve was always there to remind him that El was learning, and that that was actually a penalty or that the judge was being fair on her tie with another girl in the butterfly.

Even as good as she was at just about every sport she tried, she struggled with some rules. Once they were explained in a way she understood, she was careful, but it cost her volleyball team a win in the process.

Steve helped her understand what he could, or took her to the library to look things up if he didn’t know. Wayne helped her understand the differences between softball and baseball while Eddie tried to take notes in the corner.

Actual notes.

“It’s so I know if she does good!” He explained when Wayne raised his brow at him showing interest in a sport.

To his credit, he immediately lost the notes he took and still had to ask Steve a bunch of questions at her next game.

She earned the MVP awards for every sport she played, gaining more positive attention than she’d expected. It was welcome, especially since it made a lot of people forget about the negative attention surrounding her the last few years.

Will designed shirts for everyone for her games and had Eddie get them printed at the same place he got the Hellfire Club ones made. They all wore them happily, too proud of her to not show all their support.

——————

Her senior year was when it hit that she had decisions to make.

She’d done fine in school; not straight A’s but never failed a class.

Sports are where she excelled.

But senior year was hard, and schedules were difficult enough without having to balance two sports at once immediately followed by two more.

The coaches did their best to offer accommodations since she was their star, but she didn’t like that. She didn’t want to be treated as “other.” That wasn’t why she did this.

So she dropped softball, much to Wayne’s heartbreak. He still smiled at her and said he was proud of everything she’d accomplished and hoped she’d still find time to come throw the ball with him.

She dropped volleyball in the spring, used the excuse that she needed to focus on swimming because she had scouts interested in giving her scholarships and the Olympic committee showed interest in recruiting her for Team USA.

Steve let her use his pool for extra practice, and usually joined her on the weekends for a morning swim, even on the still too cold mornings in February and March.

She held the Hawkins High and Indiana state records in most categories, and Midwest and National records in a few of those.

The olympic committee invited her to trials, and of course she’d enlisted Steve as her personal coach.

She trained for hours every day, Steve pushed her just enough using his new knowledge of the requirements she would have to meet to make the team and her competition.

She didn’t want everyone there, only Steve and Hopper.

She was worried having them there would put too much pressure on her and now wasn’t the time to perform poorly.

The morning of the trials, Steve let her cuddle up to his side on the couch.

“You’re ready.”

“That is not a question.”

“No, because I’m not asking. I know you’re ready,” he smiled when she rolled her eyes.

“I am ready.”

She was.

She outdid herself, actually. She ended up breaking her own record in her first event, and tied her own record in the second event.

She not only made the team, but was named captain almost immediately, the rest of her teammates incredibly excited to be on her team.

Hawkins had a parade for her, Hawkins High had a pep rally, the family had a huge party for her.

She still had to graduate high school, still competed on the high school swim team, even found time to be a lifeguard at the city pool every Friday and Saturday afternoon.

El had found her place.

—------------------------------

When USA won gold in every event for swimming, no one was surprised.

It’s hard to beat a team led by El.

She accepted a full ride scholarship to Purdue University, where she broke all their school records and got her degree in Physical Therapy so that she could work with athletes.

She competed in the Olympics again, winning gold in four events, silver in one.

But she always had her family there. They came from all over the country to watch, to support, wearing the same shirts that Will made years ago.

[lexysstorm]

Live thoughts while reading Thunder:

- why did frostpaw just use the word hours?

- please gay frostwhistle please

- goosegrass? I think thats a new one.

- AAAAAA i just want to read frostpaw pov shes the only one im interested in but ill give the others a shot

- LILYHEARTTTT queen

- if squif doesnt become leader i will be very unhappy

- OMG IVYPOOL DEPUTY????

- ok but why is night going with them i dont see a point

- i really really really hate the decision to pair sun with night it doesnt feel earned. Just let sun be in shadow its so much more interesting there

- ok sunbeam show me whatcha got

- stop being stinky lionblaze

- BAHAHHA BERRYHEART????

- ok she kinda right tho- does look kinda desperate sun im sorry girl you dont need no man

- ok i like spark and finch WOOO

- really love how berryheart trespassed just to whine at sun for leaving

- FROSTPAWWWW

- i dont remember smoky being this nice but ok

- FROSTPAW KIDNAPPED BY PEOPLE???

- FINALLY someone brings tree up in all this

- thats a HILARIOUS trial idea actually

- THE KIT SWEARING LMAOO

- finchsun please

- i think its kinda dumb that riverstar is here ngl- then again i didn't read his super edition

- OH MY GOD SHE GOT SPAYED?? IM

- theres goes my frostwhistle😭😭😭

- another traveling book im

- LMAOOOO NIGHTHEART IS SUCH A BAD CAT???? Hes going for fame😭😭😭😭BROOO

- oh my GODDDDD sunbeam girlie PLEASEEEEEE LEAVE HIS ASS AFTER THIS IM BEGGING

- OH MY GOD SQUIRRELSTAR????? HOLY FUCK

- STOP BEING A BITCH LIGHTLEAP

- i am actually very interested to see what tree comes up with for a solution

- what if frostpaw brings a cat back from the forest territories to be riverclans leader wouldnt that be STUPID

- OTTER MOMENT

- usual nightheart L

- ok i have a pool and a cat that goes outside and the pool cover does NOT bend under her weight💀💀💀theyre made to support a humans weight just in case (i think, dont try that)

- yeah frost is kind of carrying you night step up ur game

- dovewing ur right to be defensive queen- kind of shitty of ivy to be kind of trying to use her like that even if i do like ivy,,,

- omg "im not letting you manipulate me into manipulating him!" PERIOD QUEEN

- berryhearttttttt whatre you planninggggg

- cherry fall is right just give it a lil shove- im sure they could aim the rock to not hit a den

- i bet the black cat that refused to eat with the park cats will be rcs next leader but that's a crack theory

- meditating cats

- ok well. Why cant she just. Learn everything she needs to abt meditation real quick then go back to rc

- WERENT YOU SHADOWCLAN LAST WEEK HAHAHAHAH FROSTPAW

- YOURE NOT GOING TO SHOW US HOW SHE REALIZED??????????? HELLO?????

- oh nevermind okay

- "ive always known" SUREEEE unless im forgetting something from previous books, you didnt suspect a THING frost

- ok so her name is rook, ill remember that

- wait. Waffle. Waffle that won the contest? WAFFLEPAW????

- Worse than you imagined??? what does THAT mean

- READY AS ILL EVER BE

- cherrfall sus

- Cherryfall?????

- OH MY GOD QUEEN SHIT SUNBEAM HOLY SHIT

- sunbeam u really need to tell someone what youve seen and heard istg

- wow the big reveal nobody saw coming. HEY i DO like the idea though! Frost getting manipulated by her mother and a cat she loved is pretty fun to read, more interesting than nightheart. Even sunbeams pov has been pretty fun. Honestly if night didnt have a pov/wasnt a main character i would love this arc a lot more! And if sun didnt switch clans smh MAKE HER GAY HUNTERS

- ok well. Frostpaw. Dont. Do it. In rc camp??? Do it at a gathering- so EVERYONE knows

- oh my god is she actually gonna do that?? Lets go????

- oh my GOD NO WAY ARE THEY GOING TO VOTE HIM OUT??? TIGERSTAR II IMPEACHMENT????????

- wait dont the medcats have to be w the impeachment squad or am i misremembering

- ok good someone brought it up, but there should be a rule that if the medcat is closely related to leader they should be excused bc of conflict of interest right?

- YESSSS PUDDLESHINE

- uhuh SUREEEEE podlight

- NONONONONONONONONONONONONO

- THATS IT?????? BRUHHHH

[found-wings]

I WAS MINDING MY DAMN BUSINESS LISTENING TO ONE OF MY FAV SONGS AND THE BUS OF CODE PHIL RAN INTO ME AND DESTROYED MY LIFE anyway which witch by florence + the machine (best artist ever) oh my god is literally him in the worst way possible the pain the agony (also if u don't want anymore song recs idm^^ ik I've left quite a bit in the askbox but I can slow down if needed :] )

-

And it's my whole heart

Weighed and measured inside

And it's an old scar

Trying to bleach it out

And it's my whole heart

Deemed and delivered a crime

I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out

I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out

Who's a heretic now?

Am I making sense?

How can you make it stick?

Waiting 'til the beat comes out

-

this verse radiates energy from the realization he has of his history with the federation combined with them realizing that he's figured them out and need to make quick work of him in order to keep him in line. not only messing with him physically in experiments but also mentally in making sure to break him down and making him look crazy in order to decrease his threat levels towards any future acts they may commit against the people of the island. also the 'deemed and delivered a crime' can also associate with the brief period of certain members of the island learning about phils federation lineage and creating contingency plans behind his back in case he goes rogue to attack them. (of course he does but not willingly ;-;)

-

I'm not beat up by this yet

You can't tell me to regret

Been in the dark since the day we met

Fire, help me to forget

And it's my whole heart

While tried and tested, it's mine

And it's my whole heart

Trying to reach it out

And it's my whole heart

Burned but not buried this time

-

oh this part verrrrry specifically is what made everything click right in my mind for this au- especially when thinking about his friendship with etoiles. when I hear this section, I got reminded of the 'repairs' the federation forces onto phil with every trip, how everytime they continue and continue to crack him more and more and shatter him into pieces but he keeps getting. back. up. no matter what they do to him, at the end it's etoiles who's there to keep reminding him that he is still his own person, at his core he is whole and the federation can't take away who he is for long. everytime the federation fucks him up and tries to make it seem as if nothing had happened with the memory wipes of said experiments, this time,, phil has people alongside him to help him remember who he is. the repetition of 'and it's my whole heart' is so codebreakers in this au with it being phil repeating the mantras etoiles has instilled in his mind that he's still his own person and he is still good despite all the damage the federation not only inflicts on him but attends to inflict onto others. it's very good that many of the island members he surrounds himself with are powerful enough to make sure he isn't hurting others physically. mentally though, seeing a good friend lose himself and have to constantly remind himself of who he is can be taxing on the mind.

-

Chained and shackled, oh

All that gravel, oh

It's a pity, oh

Never to return

But I never learn

It's a pity, oh

(x2)

-

the repeating outro reminds me very specifically of the conditioning training the federation instilled in phils head. acknowledging the metaphorical weights they placed upon him to keep him shackled to them and the island- not only when referring to him unconsciously returning to them in times of enhanced stress and post-acts of rule breaking, but in the clips of his wings that leave him physically immobile when in the world of the skies that he so desperately wants to go back too

AAAAAAAAAAA so many florence songs r him rn it literally inspired me to make a q!phil playlist bc of it and the brain is braininggggggg. also wow with having like 3 song asks shoved in here im really living up to the disc anon name LMAOOOOOO - 💿

Can I just say I am absolutely in love with how you connect lyrics to things and explain them and word everything??? Because HELLO????

ADDING THIS TO THE PLAYLIST POST AS SOON AS I GET DONE WRITING THIS RESPONSE

Honestly the overall song gives me kind of.. angry vibes?? As in connecting it to the code au, it feels like a song that connects to Phils anger towards the Federation that‘s fueled by his close friends, but especially so by Etoiles who has been there for him as much as possible. Repeatingly helping him back up no matter how many times he‘s forced back down to kneel, to submit.

THIS SONG IS SO GOOD WAAAH

[almightytrashcan]

TAG GAME: EIGHT SHOWS TO GET TO KNOW ME

thank you @loveisalwaystheanswer hehe

disclaimer: lots of anime recs here HAHAHA im a weeb. also idk how else to describe stuff sometimes HJDSFKJSDHKF it's just different iterations of "wow im floored. watch it." or "this fundamentally changed me as a person."

Code Geass - Brings back memories of senior year in high school where I binged all 25 episodes of the first season during finals week, then binged all 25 episodes of the second season the next week. Season 1 was eh but it was building up for the actual bone-deep pain of Season 2. The Zero Requiem finale still hits man, it's such a perfect way to end the series. Why are mecha animes so steeped in heavy politics. Good for them! Also the Pizza Hut placements were great (we love you Cheese-kun).

Mob Psycho 100 - AMAZING ANIMATION. AMAZING STORYTELLING. WHOLESOME HIGH SCHOOLERS GOING THROUGH THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF LIFE WHILE ALSO HAVING THE MOST POWERFUL PSYCHIC ABILITIES. Genuinely feel-good, so many inspirational quotes in here. Made me cry on some occasions because I didn't expect to hear the words I needed to hear from a shounen anime of all things. Also Reigen is babygirl for a REASON.

Peaky Blinders - Where do I start. I like period dramas, and the premise intrigued me. Season 1 is so damaging to me in so many ways like I don't think any other show could get as perfect as those six episodes AAAAA IM SO ATTACHED TO IT. The whole cast are phenomenal and they really carried the show, and the song features are so good too. Also Cillian Murphy is so hot goddamn.

The Promised Neverland - DO NOT WATCH THE SECOND SEASON. Anyway. I read the manga so I know how the rest of the plot goes, but Season 1 is such an amazing display of psychological horror. The visceral fear of realizing Isabella is always one step ahead of the kids, and just generally trying outpace her while acting like everything's normal. Wow.

Attack on Titan - lol. I don't really care much about the new series anymore, but back in 2013 this was the first anime I properly watched (and the rest of the world had its dick and balls gripped by the Salute™ and the Wings of Freedom™ too). I guess I was pretty fucked up as a kid for thinking I had the balls to join the Survey Corps and could live to tell the tale. Formative anime of all time actually.

Avatar: The Last Airbender - A childhood classic. What else do I say, it's just perfect. Amazing. Fantastic. Spectacular. I have official books of that franchise: all four of The Lost Scrolls, one of the Journey Through The Earth Kingdom books, and the Tales of Zuko book. It's just so dear and close to my heart, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Adventure Time - Another childhood classic. I think I watched every episode up until the first few episodes of Season 5, then I just stopped caring SHDFJSJKFH. BUT. But, it's also still very meaningful to me, it's an amazing combination of fun but also unintentionally dark. I should pick up on it again when I have the time, honestly.

Bungou Stray Dogs - I haven't touched anything related to this anime since 2019 but this is really that one show that shaped me for a long while, mostly because I met my internet friends because of this show, and my first few days on Twitter was dedicated to being a BSD fan. The whole concept too of characters based off famous classic authors with abilities names after their most famous works is really a banger, it made me a reader again.

i dont really have anyone to tag so if you see this on your dash feel free to do it!

[sonianvmd]

thh characters with a crush on you

warnings: none, maybe some swearing but otherwise nothing major

oH and mentions of murder and death but this is danganronpa so im going to assume u expected as much

a/n: so we kickin this blog off with a bang, writing for LITERALLY THE ENTIRE TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC CAST LMFAOAOAOAO (excluding hifumi, yasuhiro, and the two despairs doe bc i’ve already made that clear)

also some character’s sections are shorter than others im sorry i just couldnt think of as many bullet points for them *tiktok cry emoji*

edit: I FORGOT CELSESTE FU K SORRY

spoilers under the cut!!

★ 彡 ★ ミ ★ 彡 ★ ミ ★

makoto naegi

when he realizes he likes you, he doesn’t necessarily panic or anything, but he does get nervous

nervous around you, that is

y’all saw how he was with sayaka

if he says anything that might sound intimate then he’ll immediately rephrase it or reassure he didn’t mean anything by it

he really only does have good intentions but his wording just kinda flops sometimes

he appreciates how you listen to him and value what he says

you don't make him feel dumb or inferior compared to a bunch of ultimates with actual talents

he’ll muster up the courage to tell you eventually

let’s hope his luck comes through 😁

byakuya togami

now when THIS man realizes he likes you, he a bitch nigga bout it 😐

he can't believe he fell for a common plebeian such as you

but it was hard not to

the way you preferred to get to the point

the way you were aware of your situation and didn't sugarcoat how you felt about it, although you certainly were nicer with it than him

he's ruthless

anyways

you knew your priorities and spent no time trying to use your resources

he noticed how much you had in common; in you, he saw himself

and we all know how this mf feels about himself 😐

he’ll be quick to defend you in class trials

he won’t realize he’s doing it but he just subconsciously protects you

but just because he doesn't notice it, don't mean the rest of the class brushes past it as well

yeah they on his ass LMFAOO

kyoko kirigiri

kyoko is very good at keeping her composure so she won’t be very obvious

she’ll probably just hang around you more

she’ll also defend you in class trials, calmly

“oh, it couldn’t have been [name]. i remember seeing them in their dorm around the time the murder took place.”

hifumi probably finna say some dumb shit like “aye what was you doin in their dorm doe” but anyways

she finds you respectable

if you have anything to contribute, she’ll let you take the floor

when she tells you, she’s very composed, but also very indirect LMFAO

she’s not too sure on how to express her interest in you but maybe she’ll go about it like “well, [name], now we’ve made it here, would you like to step back into the world with me?” or somethin else along those lines idk

take her hand

pls

toko fukawa

y’all know her whole “master togami” shtick

yeah so 😁😁😁😁

no but fr, toko ofc still has her borderline stalkerish 🧍🏾‍♀��� tendencies

she’ll often find herself staring at you, either in the library or in the morning meetings everyday at breakfast

but she isn’t as straight forward as she is with byakuya

i actually think she’d be mad shy and non confrontational

the whole thing she kept up with him ? yeah, never again

if you approach her first then she’ll be able to get a few words out but for most of the conversation, she’ll just nervously play with her braids

you’ll most likely put two and two together

unless ur a makoto kinnie bc then you’ll have to wait till someone else puts it in place for u but anyways

if you decide to approach her about it, you’ll kinda be backing her into a corner bc she’s just bad at deflecting things lmao

she’ll eventually confess (begrudgingly but hey i mean its better than nothing)

expect much stuttering and a gesture like giving you a small gift

and not to be that writer that uses japanese terms in english writing but toko seems like a tsundere but not really if that makes sense?? so she’d probably shove it in your hands and if you try to say something then she’ll just try to play it off as not a big deal lol

calls u a baka 😍😍

aoi asahina

i know y’all all see how she is with sakura

yeah.

aoi is the kind of person who’d like to spend time with their crush rather than shy away from them

she values you and your friendship very much

bring her donuts

just trust me bring her donuts

she doesn’t really realize she’s into you like that for a while but believe me, she is, the whole time

and yeah i think she’d be nervous to tell you bc that’s just natural but ultimately she’d be cool about it

uh oh looks like we goin for a swim

sakura ogami

similar to kyoko, she’s very calm

despite her big and bad appearance, she really is a sweet girl

she cares for you and your well-being very much

will indeed go on x games mode for you

the way she tells you is very sincere and well spoken

kith her

naow

im sorry this is like the shortest one i couldn’t think of much for her 😔😔

leon kuwata

flirtatious ass mf

and he’s lightskin

so this just cannot go well

y’all know that bit where it’s like the guy yawns and stretches his arms up and then wraps one around your shoulder

yeah that’s literally him LMFAOO

he’s very confident

he was fairly well known with the ladies at his old school so you know he’s rhockin wit it ‼️

but

you feel.. different than usual ??

those girls were just lil flings n dates bc he was nice enough to accept their confessions and it boosted his ego anyway so it was a win win

but you

he was genuinely interested in you since he had saw you the first time

he didn’t just acknowledge your appearance

he learnt about your personality and your hobbies and what you liked and such, and he really cared and wanted to hear you talk about it all

he felt the need to really make an effort to show you how much he respected and had affections for you

he doesn't tell you in a grand way

probably just asks you out to a movie or somethin

he's chillin

mondo owada

you know

for being the biggest, baddest, most respected biker gang leader

or just for being in a biker gang period

mondo’s a huge softie lol

yeah he gets violent but he’s a sweet guy who cares about and is loyal to his friends

so mfs need to be nice to you

or they gettin whooped

when he decides it’s time to tell you how he feels, he thinks over his words and he’s all confident there’s no way you’d reject him but then he sees you in the halls and goes 🧍🏾 LMFAOOO

he’ll push through but it’s like he’ll walk up to you and look away from you because he refuses eye contact and just go

“so y/n, would you wanna.. tch.. come to a drive-in movie with me or somethin’?... dumbass.”

real smooth mondo i think you got em good job

please tease him LMFAOO it’d be so funny

he’d probably yell but you can tell he’s not mad so you just keep going with it

but once you’re done tormenting him, you do agree to the movie, don’t worry 🙏🏾

also mondo would call his s/o doll

that is all

chihiro fujisaki

my fav dude in a dress <3

chihiro would be quite shy, but that’s just how he is tbh so no surprise there

he’s very kind so he’d check up on you often just to see how you are

he cares about you v much

the way he confesses is one that consists of a red face as he offers you a box of candy or something similar

and he’d feel honored that you reciprocate his feelings

he’d be very scared to tell you his secret but once he does, he’s delighted to hear it doesn’t make any difference to you

he doesn’t know how he got so lucky with you

not only because woooo they like me back but also because you like him despite,, well everything about him LMFAOO

sweet lil boy

i’d feel like he’d talk about you to alter ego a lot

and when u meet the program for the first time, he’s like “oh! you must be [name]! master’s told me all about you :)”

sobbing i miss him

kiyotaka ishimaru

okay here’s the thing

if taka were to like someone

i can’t tell whether he’d be more strict because he doesn’t want them to get in trouble (and also so it would hopefully divert any suspicion that he DOES like you since he treats you the same as everyone else, only more)

or if he’d hold back more because he favors them LMFAOO

so imma write a lil bit for both

in the case that he was even stricter:

he’d prefer to be around you because he believes the best way he can make sure you stay out of trouble is to make sure you don’t get into any in the first place

of course it’s impossible to monitor you every second of every day but he does his best to make sure you’re doing well

if he sees you do anything out of line, he’s shutting that shit down IMMEDIATELY

but in the case he let up:

he’d still lecture you but noticeably less than the other students

if your feet were resting on top of a desk, he’d ask you to move them and then leave you alone rather than yell at you and forcibly move them himself

if you notice his behavior towards you in comparison to the other students do not tease him about it he will go as red as his eyes /hj

either way he’s confessing to you with a polite but exaggerated bow while holding out a well thought out letter with both hands

sayaka maizono

she will tell you

idk why but i feel like she’d be straight up lol

she’d make sure she’s sincere

she is the ultimate pop idol and all so she wants to make sure you know that she really does like you and isn’t playing a sick joke on you or anything

ok bc

while i do think she’d tell you

i’d feel like she’d be a little indirect just to see how you feel

like she’d give you a free ticket to one of her upcoming concerts with a kind smile

and naturally, you're like :o

and of course you come to support her

and seeing you smile at her from the crowd and cheer her on was the encouragement she needed to push her to ask you out

for real this time

she asks if you wanna come to a concert with her and ur like “oh yeah i love ur shows!!” bc ur dumb and then she’s like “no i mean.. for another artist” and eventually it hits you that she’s asking you out and ur like “oH YEAH YEAH SURE THAT SOUNDS GREAT YEAH OK” LMFAOO

———

i really hope that this is good LMFAOO this is my first time writing for dr so 😃👍🏾

fun fact i finished toko’s section first and taka’s last 😁😁

and i’d like to thank @mius-imagination @bloodygir n the rest of the discord for helping me figure some of these characters out *simultaneously whips and nae naes*

bye ive been working on this for like weeks this took forever

———

edit: here’s a deleted section bc i kept blanking for this character 😍

[jae-daddy]

Duff (4)

jaebum au series

one / two  / three / four / five /  six / seven / eight masterlist

pairing: im jaebum x reader genre: angst, smut, cheating, CEO! i guess too now plot:  you are the duff, and guys use you to get close to your bestfriend, turns out jaebum was no exception. but as time goes on the tension between you and your bestfriend’s unoffical boyfriend grows  a/n: it so late, I'm literally seeing double rn... hope y’all like it! <3 not edited. 

Life is brimming with lessons that teach you how to live without being naive and a fool. 

You were already taught a few lessons by life, as it made you jump through endless hoops burning with malicious flames waiting to scorch your skin at slightest touch. 

So you found it fair to hold yourself as intelligent and mature. 

Therefore, you trusted your conclusion to ignore whatever happened in the elevator with Im Jaebum. 

What was said, what was done; none of it mattered. 

An important lesson you’ve learnt is people say and do crazy things when they are riding high a shot of adrenaline. 

Jaebum’s near-death experience led him to say things that he would not on a normal day. It was only because he was scared that he did. And everyone wants to die an honest man. You were certain if it were Paul in the elevator instead of you, Jaebum might have confessed something outrageous to him too. 

So that was not the reason why you were staring at the two males in front of you as they spoke absolute nonsense to you. You already knew not to take what happened in that tiny metal box seriously. Instead, it was another life lesson you knew that made you stare at them as if they had grown two heads: everything has a price. 

“Not everyone gets an opportunity like this, y/n,” Paul spoke, a second away from begging on his knees. 

You shook your head in distaste, this was not part of the plan. Actually, there was no plan, but if you had one, this would definitely not be it. This was not how you imagined your lottery internship to turn out. 

“Paul, I am flattered the company believes me to be capable of such an important role,” you breathed, trying to keep a polite smile as your eyes bounced between the bald man and the smirking jerk. “However, I do not think I would be suitable for this role. I made it clear in my internship contract that I will not have my studies affected by this opportunity. Unfortunately, being the secretary of the -”

“I’m sorry to stop you, y/n,” Paul cut you off, not apologetic at all. You bit your cheeks to hold back a sneer. “We have thought about this through, and believe it to be the best plan of action to take right now. Mr Im is new to this company and is temporary, and while we have made a public announcement, he is still on trial.

“We could get someone in a fixed-term confidential contract, but that’s too complicated.”

Your brows furrowed as you disagreed with that, but you didn't say anything. 

“The remaining time left in your contract and Mr Im’s trial period match up perfectly. You already have secretarially role in the company, so you already know the ups and downs, the tricks and tips, so we really believe this is the best way. And about your studies, the summer break began last week. However, if you believe this to be in violation of your contract, we will compensate.”

“Compensate?” You rose an eyebrow, payment would be better than slaving away for free. 

“Pay you, just like any other employee,” Paul smiled happily. Finally seeing some indication of interest from your side. He added, proudly, “with all employee benefits.”

You bit your lip in deep thought. 

You mentally weighed the pros and cons. 

There were pros, so many pros; a better resume, money, free coffee and healthcare, etc. But the con, the big con stared at you in bold, italics, highlighted in large red fonts: you’d be working for Im Jaebum. 

If this was someone else you would have said yes the moment they offered it, even without the benefits. But with Im Jaebum, things got complicated. 

You weren’t sure if he could maintain the professional relationship between the two of you. And if you were being completely honest, you didn’t know if you could maintain it too. 

Even now, with Paul standing at one end of the table, and Jaebum settled on the long side. Your mind couldn’t help thinking about how short your skirt was, and how easy it would be for Jaebum to bend you over the wooden table, and make you a moaning mess. 

It would be quite difficult to maintain professionalism when you’d be spending time alone with him. Or maybe, he would use his position to make you suffer. He might end up not coming to work at all, have you do all his work, and just show up to sign and show his face. 

So much could go wrong with working for Im Jaebum. 

And you also had to consider the fact that you hadn’t talked to him since the elevator incident. 

You haven’t been to Heather’s place, too busy with the piled up assignments all due within the last two weeks. The twenty hours of weekly internship didn’t give you any freed up time either. You didn’t get an opportunity to see Heather, or her boyfriend, Im Jaebum, to have a talk. 

“Oh come on, y/n,” Jaebum smiled at you, making your blood boil instantly. This was the first thing he said to you in the past two weeks and somehow managed to be an arrogant shit-eater when he did. Your glare didn’t make his smile falter as he sang, “It’ll be fun.”

No way. You thought. There is no way you would be able to work for that self-centred, cocky, incredibly hot jerk. 

“We’ll cover your fees.” Paul stopped you before the no on the tip of your tongue tumbled out. You stared at him in shock, as he looked at you expectedly. 

“My university fees?” You asked, shocked.

“Yes, all of it.” He nodded. 

That’s a lot. 

Your eyes fell on Jaebum who smirked at you as if he had the whole entire world at his feet's disposal, and maybe he truly did. He had something similar to that power if the company was willing to go to such extents to make him stay. 

The pros were really starting to outweigh the annoying, irritating con.

“Fine,” you licked your lips, with a sigh. “I’m in.”

Paul almost jumped in his place with excitement, “Thank you, y/n! Thank you so much!”

Paul walked out swiftly muttering something about going to the HR and having a contract formed immediately. Your eyes followed him as he left, remaining on the doors that closed behind him.

You could feel his gaze burning the side of your face, and it truly felt as if you were about to combust. 

“What?” You snarked, turning towards him annoyed. 

Jaebum just snickered as he swirled side to side, carefree, on his chair, “Why are you always so mad, love?” 

You rolled your eyes getting up, “I guess this meeting is over.”

“I didn’t dismiss you, y/n,” Jaebum said, stopping his playful actions. 

“You’re not my boss until I sign that piece of paper, so,” you gave him a middle finger with a tight smile before walking out the office. 

You could hear his light laughter follow you, but you ignored it. 

You stopped in your tracks as you remembered something and entered the room once again. Jaebum looked up at you, surprised, before smiling brightly, “Welcome back.” 

You cursed yourself for returning after such an amazing exit, but there were more pressing matters than your pride. 

“Have you told Heather about what happened?” You closed the door behind you, making sure no one could hear you. 

Jaebum’s eyes danced with amusement, as he shrugged, drawling, “What happened?” 

“In the elevator, Jaebum,” you gritted through your teeth as you stepped closer towards him.

Jaebum’s smiled only grew as he frowned with feigned innocence, “I can’t seem to remember, maybe if you could help me remember.”

His lazy gaze fell to your lips before meeting your eyes again. A spark ignited deep inside you, and you told yourself it was anger; it was an annoyance. 

You clicked your jaw as you smacked your hands onto the desk, leaning over it. Jaebum watched you, carefully, not intimidated a bit, only amused. 

Your eyes narrowed at him, before you smiled sweetly, “You were holding my hand and crying like a child.” 

Jaebum hissed, unaffected, as he tsked, “I can’t seem to remember that.” 

“Did you tell her or not?” You groaned, your annoyance at peak. 

What you would do to this man if you got a chance. He wouldn’t be smiling like that, he’d be begging you for forgiveness, for release. 

Jaebum smirked as if he could read your mind, “No, I didn't.” 

“Good,” you nodded, gulping as his eyes watched you with unsettling darkness. “Don’t.” 

He rose his eyebrow, before nodding, “As you wish, y/n.” 

You turned and felt his gaze watch you as you walked out. You felt it lower, watching your hips as it swayed side to side. Your hand gripped the cool handle as your shoulders sagged slightly. 

You let out a low sigh, “Thanks.” 

You disappeared behind the door before Jaebum could reply. 

“Babe!” Heather sang as her long limbs fell over you loosely. You laughed, as you helped her sit straight. She leaned against you again, snuggling her face into your neck as she hugged you, “I love the way you smell, baby!” 

You chuckled as you patted her red matted hair soiled with glitter and sweat at the back of the Uber, “Thanks Heather, I like how you smell too.” 

“Don’t lie,” you could hear her pout, and it only made you smile. “You always make fun of my feet.” 

“But that’s only after the gym or a hike, Heather,” you told her, as you brushed the hair off her face. 

Heather was completely wasted tonight. 

She was already drunk by the time you walked into the club. Jaebum wasn’t anywhere to be found, and you found her with a group of her “friends” that you didn’t like. 

They would always make her drink too much, give her a little white sugar, and let her waste her platinum card on those low lives. 

You didn’t like the way the guys would touch her as she slumped back onto the couch unable to see straight. You didn’t like the way the girls sitting around would not help her, instead, encourage her to be worse. 

You were mad when you were pulling her away from the crowd and towards the bathroom when you had found Jaebum. He had just got to the club himself but was ready to leave as soon as he saw the state Heather was in. 

He sat on the other side of Heather, holding her purse, as Heather held you from the middle seat. 

Heather mumbled something in return and you couldn’t understand it. 

“By that red letterbox is fine,” you told the Uber driver as he slowed down. 

Jaebum got out first, and you helped Heather onto his back before getting out. You turned to the driver, giving him a small smile, “Thank you.”

“No problem, have a good night,” he said, already accepting a new ride. 

“You too,” you said, as you closed the door. You turned to Jaebum, with Heather hanging her head over his shoulder. Her long ember curls falling down his chest as he grunted and halted her up. 

“Woah, stop,” Heather moaned, heaving. 

Jaebum looked at you with terror in his eyes, and you laughed at him, “Come on, let’s get this party animal into bed.”

“Is this where you live?” Jaebum asked as you led him up the small walk to the door. 

You snorted and shook your head, “No, this is Heather’s home.” 

Jaebum rose his eyebrows, and you continued, as you unlocked the doors, 

“Her parents don’t live in this house anymore, so Heather skips between here and the apartment.” 

You turned the lights on and took in the home that greeted you. 

“They love sure love red, huh?” Jaebum commented, taking in the red couch, red feature wall, and red details spread over the living room and kitchen. 

You laughed at that, agreeing with him. The Blacks sure did take pride in their red-haired heritage, and didn’t hide the fact that it was family’s favourite colour, “Mrs Black was going through an interior design phase.”

“Thank god it was just a phase,” Jaebum snickered, making you turn to him with a pointed look as you tried to hide the smile. 

“She wasn’t too bad,” you replied and began walking towards Heather’s room. 

Jaebum followed behind you, grunting as he adjusted Heather on his back, “No, she was just too red.” 

You rolled your eyes as you opened her bedroom door and walked towards the bed. You pulled down the covers and Jaebum gently set her down. You took off her shoes, and earrings carefully. 

Jaebum didn’t say anything and just watched you as you walked around the room getting out her nightshirt, and face-cleansing products. 

“Why are you looking at me, Jaebum?” You asked, not looking at him. Instead, you pumped out the cleanser on a pad and gently took off the makeup from her face. 

“Is there a problem?” Jaebum asked back, making you snort. 

You gently turned her face and began the other side, “Yes, it’s making me nervous. I can feel you judging me.”

He was probably thinking what everyone else seemed to think when they saw you and Heather. They never saw the whole you both had for each other, how you would do anything for one another. All they saw was Heather in all her brilliance, beauty and wealth, and you, as her second, her side-kick. 

“I’m not judging you,” he replied instantly. 

Something about the way he said it made you believe him. You bit your lip, as folded the dirty make-up pads and put them on the side table.

“Then what are you doing?” You took a wet towel, wiping her face. You patted it dry and misted some toner and moisturiser. You turned back and met Jaebum’s eyes that remained on you, “Why are you looking at me?”

“There’s nothing else to look at,” he simply shrugged. 

You rolled your eyes and pointed to the wall covered with photos of Heather through the years. Most of them had you in them, celebrating every holiday, and some photos from random days when the sun was shining brightly. 

Jaebum stared at the wall as if noticing it for the first time. He got up and slowly walked up towards it. He took in the photos for a while, a small chuckle leaving him sometimes, “How did you two become friends?” 

You smiled at the memory, “She saved me.” 

You stared at your gorgeous friend, as she got up slightly. She searched around, her eyes disappearing as she smiled spotting you, “Oh, you’re here, y/n. I was going to the store on Wednesday.”

She trailed off, falling back into her pillow dozing off again. 

“Her hangover is going to kill her tomorrow,” you turned to Jaebum with a tight smile, as you held up the nightshirt, “I’m going to change her.” 

Jaebum instantly turned on his heels and walked out, closing the doors behind him. 

You walked out to the smell of coffee and Jaebum sitting at the kitchen counter with two mugs in front of him. You furrowed your eyebrows as you settled on the chair in front of him, “Is this poisoned?” 

Jaebum snorted rolling his eyes. 

You blew the coffee before sipping it. It was still searing hot, so you placed it down on the counter, and turned towards Jaebum. 

You took in his midnight hair pushed back, revealing his forehead. You didn’t know you could find someone’s forehead so sexy, but after seeing his hair down while he was at work, you had to admit it was hot. His piercings that were normally missing during office hours had returned too, a few missing. 

You frowned your eyes focusing on his nose and eyebrows, “Why aren’t you wearing all your piercings?” 

“It’s a nuisance putting it on and off,” Jaebum shrugged, before pointing to his lips, his tongue coming out to flick the sliver hoop, “Just wore my favourite.” 

You held your breath, as the image of the cool metal against your lips, flicked by your tongue, gently tugged by your teeth invaded your mind. Your cheeks heated but you continued like nothing was happening to your body. 

“Do you have piercings anywhere else?” 

Jaebum smirked, “If you’re into pierced nipples, I can get them done for you.” 

You groaned, a ridiculous smile on your face as you shook your head, “Can you ever have a conversation without being a prick?” 

“A prick?” he gasped, “that’s a bit harsh. I would say I’m more of a flirt.”

“Oh, so you know? This is a conscious decision. You wake up every day and decide to be the bane of my existence.” 

“I do wake up every morning and think of you,” Jaebum smiled at you. He chuckled, seeing you roll your eyes at him. 

“You’re ridiculous,” you snorted. Jaebum simply shrugged, smiling. 

Something beeped from the kitchen and Jaebum got up. You watched him walk over to the stove and turn it off. He reached for a mug before looking through the drawers for something. 

You narrowed your eyes watching him, “What are you looking for?” 

“Uh... a strainer?” He turned back to you, scratching the back his head. “I don’t know what it’s called.” 

Your heart melted at how adorable he looked standing there, confused and unsure. The smile on his lips was so beautiful as he watched you, waiting for you. 

“The second drawer over there,” you pointed, not looking at him as your cheeks tinted rosy again. 

Jaebum murmured thanks, before using it to drain the liquid from the pot and into the cup, “It’s a hangover tea. My mum makes it for me every time I get too drunk.” 

“You live with your mum?” You asked. Jaebum peered back at you a small smile on his lips. 

“Yeah, but I rarely ever get to see her.” 

“Why’s that?” You frowned. The way Jaebum talked about her, the lightness in his voice and the softness of his smile, told you how much he adored his mother. 

Jaebum shrugged before giving you a cheeky smile, “My house is too big.” 

You laughed at that. You were not expecting that at all. You heard Jaebum’s low chuckle as you sobered up. 

“What about you?” He asked as placed the cup onto a tray with a glass of water and two tablets he found next to the refrigerator. “Do you live alone?”

“Yup,” you nodded, before frowning, “Not even a pet.” 

“No pets?” He asked, sympathetic. 

You nodded, “I’m scared of animals. It doesn’t matter what size, or how well-trained, or what the animal is. I am terrified of them all the same.” 

Jaebum gasped as if you had confessed to a murder, “What is wrong with you?”

“Wow, I thought this was a safe place,” you mumbled before taking a sip from your coffee that had cooled down. You hummed at the taste, he made good coffee. 

“What about your parents?” Jaebum asked, making you stiffen. “Where do they live?” 

You remained quiet. 

You opened your mouth to tell him what you always told anyone who asks. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed or thought it was something to hide. You didn’t want people in your business and telling them to mind their business when they asked only piked up their interest more. 

So you opened your mouth to tell him what you’ve been telling everyone for the past five years, “I don’t live with them.”

Normally you would follow up with something about living here was better for your education or future jobs. You would say something, an excuse, that was reason enough for many young people to move out of their parents home. But what you said surprised you, “I don’t talk to them anymore.” 

“Oh,” was all Jaebum said. “That’s cool too.” 

You peered up at him with a frown. You took in his relaxed gaze, the smile on his face just like it there was a minute ago. There was no sympathy, no pity. There was no spike in interest or anything. 

He really didn’t want to pry. He didn't want to know why unless you told him. He only took as much as you could allow him. 

Suddenly there was an iridescent pond shimmering in your chest. It swirled, making your whole body feel alive as you took in Im Jaebum. It felt as if your entire body was one cell, one tiny speck of dust caught in the breeze of Im Jaebum, and it didn’t mind. 

You gulped, your body and mind acting quicker than you could control, “They couldn’t stand the sight of at me after they found out I was still doing something I promised I wouldn’t do anymore.” 

The faces of your parents appeared in front of your eyes. The shock, anger, the disappointment on their face as they found you lying in a pool of your urine and vomit. The horror in their eyes, their desperateness as they shook your body, pleading for you to reply. 

“They didn't kick me out. I left,” you ran a hand through your hair, as you let out a heavy sigh. You thought of the letter you wrote them, the way they had cried when they came to the hospital to meet you during those months, “I couldn’t hurt them anymore.”

“Do you think you would ever go meet them again?” You looked up to Jaebum watching you. You were thankful for the lack of pity in his eyes as he kept his gaze on you. 

You sighed again, and it came out as a little laugh, “One day I will.” 

You nodded, as you met his eyes. He smiled at you softly, and you smiled back as you scrunched your nose to stop the tears from threatening you, “When I am good enough, I will.” 

“I hope that day comes soon.” 

You didn’t realise Jaebum had come this close to you as you were talking. He leaned against the counter between you, his eyes intently taking you in. He folded his hands on the dark marble, his face leaning half-way over the counter. 

You watched him back. 

He was so beautiful. 

You huffed out a smile as you shook your head at him. Jaebum instantly changed, leaning back, the playfulness in his eyes glinting once again as he rose an eyebrow in question. 

“You’re not too bad, you know?” You smiled at him, before adding, “When you’re acting like a normal human being at least.” 

Jaebum laughed at that before giving you a mocking smirk, “You’re not too bad yourself, y/n.”

You grinned about to say thank you, when he added, “When you’re not acting like a stick is stuck up your ass at least.” 

“What an asshole,” you shook your head, laughing at him. 

Jaebum beamed back, his eyes shining, “What a bitch.” 

You took in the dark flecks in his eyes. You noticed their velvety blackness absorbing all light around it, but something else existed in those captivating eyes of his eyes. They didn’t get dragged away into the twilight of his gaze.  

Instead, it shone brightly. It glistened, it was golden, white and sparkled like a starry night. It dragged you in, it made you want to lean close to him. 

It made you want to place your lips on his and see how that shimmering halo swirled as he pulled you in closer. It made you want to reach for him, to place your hand on his soft cheeks. It made you want to walk around the counter and hug him in the middle of the kitchen littered with red embellishments. 

Jaebum’s smile curled into an easy smirk as he winked at you before turning around. He picked up the tray with a cup of tea, a glass of water and Panadol, as walked towards the door the red-haired beauty was sleeping in. 

Everything had a price. 

Somewhere deep within your heart was a corner buried so deeply in the darkness you had forgotten it existed. The room was cold, dark, and there was nothing. Nothing except for a lone candle standing in the middle of the emptiness. 

There had been nothing there for an eternity, and it was almost like magic. It almost felt like a trick of the eye, but then it happened again. 

A flame, a spark, flickering at the tip of the candle; it sparked again. 

This time it caught on. It burned, slowly getting brighter and livelier. 

You watched Jaebum disappear behind the door of Heather’s room. 

A sharp ache twisted your heart as you saw his broad back enter the dark room she was sleeping in. 

The flame spreading over the wick twisted in shades of ember, their shadows dancing over the room. 

You saw a word, you saw a face. 

You knew the price for this feeling tugging, craving to grow bigger in your heart. You walked into the room, hidden in a deep corner of your heart. The ivory trail of your dress dragged on the dusty floor, turning brown with every step. 

You didn’t look at the walls, you didn’t take in the shapes of the flames. 

You took sharp, clear steps. You reached the candle, the flame reflecting softly against you. You closed your eyes, took in a deep breath and exhaled, blowing out the candle. 

The flame was gone. 

The candle extinguished, the room engulfed in darkness, once again.  

You looked to the wall, the photo was no longer there but the image there was burnt into your mind. 

The price of this feeling was too expensive. 

It was too precious, and you couldn’t afford it.

[nadiadlc]

entrapdak headcanons! (the sequel!) (post canon edition!

- I want to say hordak’s defect gets better, not completely but still he is well enough where he doesn’t constantly need the armor as a exoskeleton (but he still wears it when needed) but he does need a lil help without it still so now he has cane/ staff help him additionally! and yes, he walks like a gentleman with it!!

- after the trial for hordak he has to do community service on beast island for a couple years along with other horde members (yes, this DOES includes catra) with also aiding with restoring etheria and placement for clones and rebuilding kingdoms (though entrapta is handling the rebuilding issues for the majority, he helps her w/ planning ofc he loves that woman)

- the princesses/ rebellion members surveillance him so that "he doesn't go like evil again" and "surprisingly" entrapta eagerly volunteers first to watch him totally not cause she is realizing she loves him- and the whole time when she is supposed to supervise she is just like 👀👀

- which segways INTO the period of hardcore pining from both sides. both are super obvious and clueless, cause well they're both new to these feelings!!

- with entrapta, she realizes that she keeps paying attention to him, like she keeps looking at him, thinking about him- even when she is trying to do science and it starts to get to her and she is just running in circles wondering if she is sick or something because all she thought is that she just missed her lab partner- which she does but she just didn't expect to miss him this much!! and now she is either debating on wether if she tells him or not and she is scared. the girl has been through failure too much with people, and she can't bare to lose him too.

- with hordak, i think with him he always knew. Well not always always but- ever since prime left he realized. he just didn't say anything cause, "why would she??" long angst story short- hordak self deprecates himself to not telling her. but he still admires her from afar and just continue as her lab partner but it isn't easy since he loves her so much and it makes it even worse cause this "random clone" kadroh is now here?? and hordak being hordak obviously sees him as a "threat" (he isn't at all he is just new here but hordak is very protective and oblivious to that) he realizes that after many jealous spouts for like a week but entrapta reassures him he is just a friend but HE is her lab partner and no one can compare (yes they're still not together but it is a sweet moment)

-back in my first head canon post for them i said they get together after entrapta tells him what the crystal says and now im here to elaborate what i mean, it happens when one day when entrapta is supervising on beast island they decide to explore as a break and end up in the center of the island, right where she was at the lowest and she tries to explain her time on beast island, the vines are disconnected at the point but- it still takes a toll on her and she struggles to talk and starts to cry, hordak comforts her and explains of why he didn't come for her and how he thought she was dead when he had realized where she was and tells her hop much she actually means to her and how if he had known he would've came for her and she just cuts him and tells him what it actually says and it leads to her confession and she's rambling and he just listens to er with adoration and happy tears in his eyes and tells her that her reciprocates and yes. they do smooch.

- now that they ARE together the rebellion is either in shock or they've been knew, no in between.

- and to any of the princess who TRIED to tell her what weird or anything about hordak, entrapta gave them the most scariest look because no talks about her lab partner like that!!

- the rebellion quickly held their comments in after that encounter, but they do relentlessly tease hordak because it is so funny to them to see him go soft entrapta on sight

- literally he'll be in the middle of saying something serious and entrapta just walks in and he just goes 🥺��

- they also are super affectionate, not like "public-make out" kind of affectionate! like just holding hands ( hair hands either or) or hugging supper tight, or just simple pecks on the cheeks or lips cause you know what they're in love, they deserve it.

- on their break days from restoring etheria they're often in the labs making primeknowswhat, or just lazing around in bed cocooned by hair and they're just cuddling in their little love nest along with their children (imp and emily :) ) ( also now that hordak has learned what self care is he is now very very self indulgent, hesitant at times but non the less)

- sometimes hordak just looks at her and starts crying because she is just so pretty (based on a true story with myself)

- i like the idea of the boys (bow, seahawk, and hordak) all just hang out (and possibly drink because that would just be hilarious) and smitten rant about how much they love their partners

- they are in fact the first to get married (and yes he gets proposes to her when they first go to space together-) as well with kids (what can i say, i want to see momtrapta!! like IMAGINE just like her holding her baby in a sling around her coveralls, ADORABLE!!) and they love their "favorite experiments"/kids so so much and they're happy

(if you want to add on, go ahead! hope you enjoyed!)

[iayhifbigyakwiltbsywps]

Fuckkk I had something really long written but my connection failed and now I can’t find it but this is important if you or someone you know has adhd and takes stimulant medications like methylphenidate. This will probably be weird because I wrote the original like 12 hours ago and I just got home so if the other one magically reappears then they will be really different.

Basically I wanted to make people aware that taking stimulant medications has the potential to do more harm than good. I have adhd and have drank concerta since the third grade and im currently in 11th. I have been noticing throughout the 2019-now time period that I really have lost all motivation and that I don’t really have interest in anything even getting up to eat. And I was like ‘well that’s not alright’ and so I did what every one does: I googled it. I asked google “can adhd medications cause brain damage and lessen motivation?” And honestly I was not really expecting an answer, kinda just hoping to see blankness and be relived that it was just something random I thought. Boy was I surprised.

I actually found this:

This is literally the answer I was too scared to find because a) it proved my suspicions correct and did kinda bring a different kind of relief in knowing I’m not just hysteric and b) this hit wayyy too close to home. The part in blue feels wayyy too familiar to me because all I do Is be on my bed on my phone most of tinge time and my parants keep getting concerned and like “go get a job, find a hobby, do something!” And I am honestly strangely alright with my situation, like I hate it but I still don’t try to change it because I can’t!

Forgot what else I could of said there on the fist draft, but onto the next peice of evidence!

This pretty much said that this meds were tested on rats and that the rats ended up losing all motivation to even react when they should be looking to escape a bad situation. That once the medication stops we no longer have drive to motivation.

This also states that the nucleus accumbens is the part of the brain that forms motivation into action and when you take these meds your actually risking it shrinking and leading to no motivational drive.

Also that there are other options if you are convinced you or your child needs help to lead a successful life then there are other options that are not stimulants!

I also found some videos but could only resurfaced one which I think is the most important: https://youtu.be/nif8TFPhjuI

This video basically talks about one of the beginning trails of adhd medications that ended up being a huge success after the recorded 14 months that this trial was conducted, but what most people who do their research probably don’t dig deep enough to check that after they took the pills away they came back 3 years later to see how they faired. Turns out that the my were actually worse and the adhd was too much or something. ( sorry I’m trying to remember what I wrote but I only slept like 10 minutes last night and it’s already 1am so my eyes are shutting)

I can’t remember much right nos but if I find the other articles or videos Ik re log or something.

Here are the links to the articles:

https://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/06/09/fewer-prescriptions-for-adhd-less-drug-abuse/adhd-drugs-have-long-term-risks

https://www.leonardsax.com/stimulants.htm

There were more but I’m fighting To stay awake right now sorry.

Oh I just remembered something:

This is what happens when you give stimulants to a brain that is underdeveloped (brains aren’t yet developed until they are like 21) so if y’all need meds try taking non stimulants or else you’ll just cause growth problems for yourself

I really hope some people find this useful and that no one goes through what I am cuz it really kinda sucks and I hate it but I can’t do much to change it.

Also after hours trying to figure out a way to tell my mom I had finally told her and you know what she said? She said “if we take you of these meds will you promise to try to care about yourself more?” And like I didn’t say anything but sure mom I totally didn’t just work up the courage to try and tell you within the day I found this informants on when it would usually take me months to say things I think are important but yeah I totally need to try a bit more ugh!

Honestly I think it’s shit that I’m not even 18 yet and I already feel like all my fight has gone out of me. Like if it weren’t for my parents that actually care about me I would of let myself starve to death. And now there’s no way to thank them because I can barely move to get food much less show them my thanks. Mom dad I love you and I’m sorry my brain if fucked up.

Hi just a little edit here, I wanted to say that both articles are by the same person I just put the second one because the link didn’t work for me so I had to look for their actual page that was mentioned. But also I read further down on the second article and I saw there are more links to other related articles in the second link where this person wrote their actual research and citations

[sapphim]

Really thinking hard about how to handle Sebastian in the new climax crisis mod because when I initially made no seb climax crisis (as my *checks* third published mod, five years ago) I was really dissatisfied with what I was able to accomplish with the options I had available for modding back then.

I’ve talked at length before about the problems I have with Seb’s content in the climax but it mostly boils down to 1) quite a bit of it feels more like hamfisted movie villainry than a meaningful emotional response and 2) since Sebastian is dlc (and not even day 1 dlc), the entire scene is structured around the assumption that he won’t be present by default, and thus most of his dialogue, rather than contributing meaningfully to the conversation, insists of him shouting into the void while no one reacts.

I’m trying to come at this with a fresh outlook and not reference any of the choices I made in the past. But, anyway, here’s what I’m toying with rn. Feedback appreciated.

I removed most of his lines from my mockup of the dialogue so that approaching it I will be making decisions about which lines to add in rather than which lines to remove, but I’ve already decided to retain the following exchanges in the conversation following the chantry boom.

Orsino: The Circle didn't even do this! Champion, you can't let her! Help us stop this madness! Meredith: And I call on you to keep order! After what just occurred, you cannot deny what must be done. (or) Meredith: And I demand you stand with us! Even you must see that this outrage cannot be tolerated. Sebastian: Why are we debating the Right of Annulment when the monster who did this is right here? (But this then segues back into other npc reactions which are normally skipped if Sebastian is present)

Also this:

Hawke: Was that... why you needed me to distract the grand cleric? Sebastian: This? This is what you tried to trick me into doing? Sebastian: And you went along with him! Anders: If you knew what I was doing, you would have felt honor-bound to stop me. I couldn't take that chance. (or) Hawke: Was that... why you needed me to distract the grand cleric? Sebastian: You were... part of this? Anders: If you knew what I was doing, you would have felt honor-bound to stop me. I couldn't take that chance.

Also this:

Anders: The Circle is an injustice, in many places beyond Kirkwall. The world needs to see. Sebastian: Elthina is not the Circle! She was a good woman, and you murdered her! Orsino: You fool! You've doomed us all!

It’s the second part of the conversation that’s more problematic, in which Hawke and Anders have a big long back and forth conversation while the camera periodically cuts to Sebastian, featuring absolutely no one reacting to anything he says.

Thinking about moving a few lines around if I can find places for them that flow better, ex.

Hawke: Opinions? Sebastian: He should be killed on the spot. With the templars busy, there is no one who can contain him until a trial. Sebastian: If I'd been in that chantry today, would you be waffling? You know what must be done!

Then there’s the tricky part, which is actually dealing with Hawke letting Anders live despite Seb’s objections. Most of Sebastian’s “im gonna go to starkhaven  and raise an army to return and destroy you all for harboring this criminal” dialogue is absolutely unusable lmfao. Admittedly, I can theoretically cut down existing audio lines now so some of them might be partially salvageable, but I’m not counting on it.

The best existing objection (which I ended up using in the first mod) is

Sebastian: You condone this? The brutal death of an innocent woman of faith? Someone you knew! Who trusted you!

Then I want to add a third option to the dialogue wheel (which I wanted to add five years ago but didn’t know how to make it work perfectly at the time) so, thus:

Choice #1 (text): ? something something bigger picture ? won’t undo what he’s done ? need all the help we can get ? idk Choice #1 (dialogue): 6195829 I'm sorry about the grand cleric. But there's much more at stake. Choice #2 (text): 6087747 Stay out of this. or 6144517 Stand down. Choice #2 (dialogue): 6182459 Do not interfere, Sebastian. Choice #3 (text): 6182489 Fine. Anders dies. Choice #3 (dialogue): 6182488 He's right. The grand cleric deserves justice.

No edits made to the scene if you kill Anders. (And credit where credit is due, I do think that exchange is well-written)

Hawke: He's right. The grand cleric deserves justice. Anders: Yes. I would not deny anyone's right to that.

The paraphrase for the other existing option has been changed, and if you tell him to fuck off he will still leave and you’ll never see him again (though uhhhhhhhh hopefully less looking like he’s being set up to be the sequel villain). This line is probably staying, at least:

Sebastian: I gave up on Starkhaven to serve the Maker, but He has turned his back on Kirkwall for harboring heretics like this.

The first option is the one that will allow him to stay if his end-stage questioning beliefs has been completed, otherwise it will segue back into him leaving. This line I miraculously found hanging out in another conversation is such a godsend for that:

Sebastian: By Chantry law, these mages must be contained. But Elthina, bless her, feared Meredith as much. Sebastian: I will stand with you, Hawke.

Though that’s only useful if Hawke sides with the mages. In the existing mod when Hawke sides with the templars and Seb qualifies to stay I believe it goes

Hawke: Help me restore order. Anders: Fight with the templars. Against the Circle. Anders: Perhaps that is the only way to make this right. Stop this war before it's too late. Anders: If you think that is a better atonement than my death, I am with you for so long as I can maintain my grip on the monster inside me. Sebastian: It will never be enough, but it's a start.

Which might still be the best I can do.

As for setting the end-stage questioning beliefs as the threshold for Seb to stay, I think that’s perfectly consistent with everyone else. Aveline, Merrill, and Fenris are now always stay if you side with their preferred side, always stay if you side against their preferred side and you’ve completed their end-stage, and never stay otherwise. Anders is always stay if you side with the mages (and ask him to stay), always stay if you side with the templars (and ask him to stay) and you’ve completed his end-stage rivalry, and never stay otherwise. Seb would be always stay if you kill Anders, always stay if you refuse to kill Anders but have completed his end-stage, and never stay otherwise.

Admittedly, Aveline, Merrill, and Fenris all give you a chance to recruit them back in a later conversation (and the vanilla threshold is that they’ll agree if they’re not between 50%-100% rivalry), but if you side with the templars you have one chance to keep Anders or else he’s gone for good, and I think that’s fair with Seb as well.

So obviously uhhhhhh most of what’s left to do is cobble together a collection of lines of dialogue for the Seb stays/Seb goes exchange that actually feels like a real conversation. Which is the difficult and subjective part. But being able to commandeer lines like “I'm sorry about the grand cleric. But there's much more at stake.“ and “By Chantry law, these mages must be contained. But Elthina, bless her, feared Meredith as much.” help a lot at least.

Anyway that’s my rambling on my current thought process out of the way lmfao thanks for reading.

[axsel26]

1st MONTSHARY Trisha< 3

Goodmorning

First of all baby, I would like to say Im sorry for everything I have done to you this last few days, im sorry if sometimes sobrang makulit na ako sayo babe. But, even there are times na medyo nagkakaroon tayo ng problem, But I want you to know that I really do Love you so much trisha. I’m so glad that we did it again, trials in life made us weak these past few days, it came to our way like unexpectedly, we fought for it, and trying to give out our best. I know for a very short time we have stuff that we don’t really understand what’s going on, for the fact that i don’t even get a chance to hug you , kiss you, wake up next to you, and see you every day, but whatever it takes, for this short period of time that we’ve been together, i learned to love you so deeply inside my heart.. Learned to forgive you when you did something.. Learned to accept who or what you are.. Learned to dream about having you in my life forevermore.. Learned to sacrifice my pride.. Learned to smile whenever I’m sad… and last but not the least i learned to appreciate what you’ve done. .. I am praying and I am hoping that everything will be alright. And pray that you’ll never gonna say goodbye, to hope that whatever argument we’re having, you’re still there for me, holding on.. to wish the impossible things in life.. i learned to feel the true love with you . This 1 month that we’ve been together proving that we really can, we can make things possible, we can put a smile on our face, we can understand each other weaknesses, and i know we can make our relationship last forever . I really do love you.. Really do care for you .. And I really want you to be not just in my life, but in my future life. Thank you for making me feel this way, and i love you so much Trisha, more than anything It is hard to ignore the feelings i have for you, it is so deep as the waters, as strong as winds, so tell me , how can i even let you go now? When i know that i can’t even do it. Loving you is my Joy and i promise that i will not exchange you for anything, and i just want you to know that you are my hope and my dream that is coming true :)

I really don’t know what to say here. Haha! I wanna tell you lots of things Babe, it’s just that I don’t know how to start. Hmp!, it feels the same baby; and I’m hoping it would stay the same until our 15th monthsary, 30th, 45th, 60th, and so on until forever! not the fact that I’m not able to tell you the things that i really wanna say, but the feeling that no matter how much I write you letters, I still couldn’t get the right exact words to express how much I love you because words aren’t just enough. I bet you’re smiling right now.

But hopefully babe, even if words aren’t enough to express and tell you how much I do really love you with all my life, kahit actions hindi din, sana alam mo at ramdam mo pa rin kung gaano kita kamahal Mahal. Pero 1 month pa lang alam ko, but it feels like forever already with me. Don’t get me wrong; some might say it’s too fast or very unrealistic to, But I don’t care though. I’m just typing here whatever comes up on my mind and it’s up to you what you’ll think about it. You’ll see though, you will see… give me more time, more years actually, and better yet if you’ll give me forever; because that’s how I’m gonna show you that I’m being true with my feelings with you. And oh, the only way that I could really express and tell you how much thankful I am to have you now in my life and how much I love you Babe, is by means of FOREVER. We’ve talked about forever before. Walang iwanan diba? Foreverest? ;)

Just so you know, forever will always be in my heart and i bet you Baby, it would take forever before it goes away. So basically, you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life. parusa ba sa tingin mo Babe? haha! i can be a makulit at times, and im sorry baby for that! mabait din naman ako diba? DIBAAAA???? you know, i’m doing my best to be the bestestestest boyfriend that you truly deserve. though kahit alam ko medyo impossible ata yun, cause you’re like the perfect grilfriend ever! and sadly, im not even near. lol but im doing my best! i hope you can see it. i know naman you do, i just wanna let you know that even if sira ulo ako, timang ako, baliw ako sayo, i still love you baby and i definitely care about you. i won’t do anything to hurt you intentionally. one day Babe, babawi din ako. you’ll see; you won’t see if you leave though. haha. so my advice, JUST STAY WITH ME FOREVER… Let’s just hope we could be with each other for as long as we can. Don’t doubt my love for you. Happy 1st Monthsary! ILoveYouSoMuch. :*

Every day is a wonderful day, because you’re in my life. . Even days spent away from you are also cherished, because we always keep in touch, I think it’s such a rare occurrence wherein there is an hour where we don’t communicate with each other. In fact when this happens, we get so worried about each other, wondering what happened for the other not to reply (well that’s what I feel). Hihihi… im so happy that you already here in my life Babe. I know that there would be times wherein I would fall short of your expectations (I’m only human), but I promise to do my best. I promise to shower you so much love that you would be drowning in it (well in a good way). I promise that I would never get tired of loving you Babe. I promise to be there for you all the time, though there are times I may not be there physically, I will be there mentally and emotionally . I’m happy with what’s happening to us right now… Less fights, More Love… Thanks for understanding me and loving me Babe! I hope you’ll continue doing this, and of course I’ll also do my best to make you happy and love you more… Thanks a lot! and also Thanks for accepting me of who I am… And now, with one month together, even we don’t see each other We’ll just keep on counting ’till we reach Forever. Iloveyou!!! and I will never get tired of it. We will be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever…..

Happy 1st Monthsary Trisha mwa mwa.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Please do one shots I would love seeing Alix and Kim fight off a platoon with nothing but a fire ax and their hands.

Mission log 00149. Operation Speedwagon

Objective: Obtain intel on incoming forces and cripple the occupying forces communications.

Agents involved: Alix Kubdel and Kim Le Chien ( Redacted)

Date: (Redacted)

“Im telling you Alix I could totally outspeed you. Those stupid boots on wheels won't help you” 

“They are skates and don't underestimate them. I am the messenger for a reason Kim, So just admit that you can't keep up Mr. Water-logged”

“Im telling you I am faster short stack, My thighs are bigger then your head.”

The two chatted as they made their way through the sewers.

The streets above were covered in occupying enemy forces.

According to their leader’s plans the correct sewer cover they need to exit from will be 300 meters away from the communications building they need to break into.

“Okay, this seems to be it.”

“Ill check.”

The muscular teen pushed the manhole cover up to take a peek at the area. The cover was in dark alleyway, nothing but a backdoor and a dumpster.

“Clear.”

The two quickly made their way out of the sewer. Spraying themselves with a perfume that their good friend made to suppress the smell from Humans and Dogs. They never knew how much Rose’s knowledge of scents saved their butts.

Alix consulted the map that she pulled out of her chest pocket. 

Their urban camouflage was yet another blessing that they had to thank their comrades for, the leader’s incredible flair for creating  practical and Stylish uniforms as well as Nathaniel’s eye for color really made their stuff the best sort of clothes for Black ops.

“So what does it say?” Kim whispered, being sure not to alert anyone that might be nearby.

“Okay, so we have to hop the fence over here and head west. Avoid the patrolling soldiers that will be coming around, and then sneak into the unlocked back entrance to the building that Adrien should have left for us.”

“Got it.”

The two stealthily make their way over the gate, they had a close call with a nearby patrol but managed to slick past them thanks to an alley cat that crossed the soldier’s path.

“Alright, Clear.”

The duo sneak inside and close the door behind them.

“So this is the communications building. Man, Nino would have a Field day with this stuff.”

“Less talking more snatching. Remember, only the communication equipment and the intel in the office. Anything else needs to be smashed after we are done.”

Kim looks around and notices a fire axe hanging on the wall.

“I got ya.”

Alix flinched when she heard the sound of a smashing screen.

“Kim! What the hell!”

“You said destroy everything else!”

“AFTER we are done! We still have to find the reports you monkey brain!”

“Fine.”

“Afterwards, I want a turn with the ax.”

Kim smirked at that.

The two proceed to examine the abandoned area, looking for the data they needed to complete the mission.

“Now where are those damn data logs.”

“Uh Bunnyx, we might have a problem?”

The messenger turned to see Kim pointing out the sound of approaching footsteps.

“Ah pellets! Okay, we need to hide.”

The two quickly take cover as the door opens.

“This is where I heard the sound Lieutenant”

Alix had taken cover under a desk and noticed several sets of boots.

‘There has to be at least ten of those damn Nazis’ she concluded.’

“Sir, I found the culprit!”

Alix felt herself sweat at that. Was Kim found! She couldn't let that happen!

She goes into her pocket, perhaps she could distract them with a smoke bomb. It might be Kim’s only chance. Alix took a breath and hoped that Max’s Smoke bombs worked outside of a trial period.

Alix pulled the pin and Lobbed the grenade in the direction.

“Get down!” One of the enemy soldiers called out.

Boom, a mass amount of smoke covered the area.

“Party time!” A familiar voice exclaimed.

Kim had taken the chance to pop out of his hiding spot and Whack one of the soldiers with the broad side of his ax.

“Enemies! We have intrude....” The soldier’s voice was cut off by a sudden strike to the trachea. The smoke had blinded the soldiers to the guerrilla tactics of the two resistance members. The soldiers couldn't use their weapons without fear of hitting their own comrades and were quickly disarmed and dealt with as Kim and Alix quickly picked them off one by one. Axe strike to the temple, Groin kicks, Knee cap breaking. Alix and Kim switching up weapons allowing Alix to nail the lieutenant of the platoon a strike in the jaw so fierce it knocked his teeth out.

After the smoke cleared, Alix and Kim stood in a room of downed Nazi soldiers.

“Remind me to thank Max, these Smoke bombs are a God send.” Alix stated with a smile.

“So, should we take care of them?”

Alix looked about.

“Strip them of their weapons and dispatch them quickly. We still have the intel to get before morning.”

Kim nodded as he made sure to ensure they wouldn't have to deal with these soldiers ever again.

Alix managed to get into the office and snag the intel they were looking for.

Kim started a fire using the grenades that two of the soldiers had.

They quickly cleared out as they watched as the windows shattered from the explosions. 

It made for the perfect getaway.

Mission status: Success

Ally Casualties: zero

Enemy casualties: 10

[ziracona]

so can u tell us a little about ur characterization of Lisa?? What's she like inside and outside of trials? Does she have a lot of lucidity, what were her relationships with others like, would she ever get better, do you think? ( im SAD.) Just. What's she like!! Also, same for Sally? Oh! And I'm rly enjoying two songs by Meg Myers which maybe you'll like? Running up that hill (Cover) and Desire. Maybe check em out? :3 - Sleepy

Sure!

My Lisa is from a bit before the archives for her placed her (early 1970s), because I wrote ILM back when there was no date given for many killers or survivors, so I just hoped they were historically accurate with the things they did mention & went through a fairly exhaustive list of drained swamps in the Southern US & paddleboat makes & placed her according to that data (it’s been a bit so I don’t remember the exact date without looking up my notes) in the 1920s-1930s, I believe? And in her early 20s, since she’s described as a girl & young woman, which DbD usually does only for characters in their early 20s. (Which I’d still assume is her age, bc even though her archives, if you go by them, have her in her teens, they’re not connected to the events of her disappearance/definitely happened before them.)

In trials, Lisa has like 0 lucidity. I talk about this some in chapter notes, so I’ll try to give a quick overview instead but sry if I restart myself. She’s so starved that any time she sees a living being, she is just completely overcome with hunger and can’t do anything but operate on it. Very scary. Feral. Like being attacked by a starving animal. She’s super out of it, and is completely wild and violent and has no control, only the need to eat. Outside of trials, if no one is around, she’s lucid again, but will remember trials and what she did to people, and spends that time in horror and despair. She’s tried to kill herself before, because the last thing she ever wanted was to become the thing she swore vengeance on (the Entity’s a real cruel motherfucker. Did the same to Rin, to Philip, to everyone it could. Likes to really twist decent people into what they would most despair to be), but in the realm, she’s stuck as it. She’s not really aware for trials, but remembers them with decent clarity, and is in constant agony over what she’s done. Unfortunately, suicide does not take in the realm, and every one of her attempts failed, just like her attempts to maim or tie herself up so she wouldn’t be able to hurt people did. She’s horribly alone and despairing, and also in physical agony. She’s at the worst end of what a human can be at as far as emaciation and starvation while still being alive goes, and that’s physically awful. It fucks up your brain chemistry too, and everything is just really fucking miserable all the time. It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe, your breath smells tastes like rotten fruit but in a way that’s so much worth than that can sound. She’s so hungry, her addons are things like dragonfly wings consumed to give her extra stamina. That’s the kind of bare sliver of relief she ever gets. God, poor Lisa’s life is hell. She’s completely heartbroken and isolated and almost dead. As far as relationships go, she didn’t have any for a long time. No one can really interact with her, because she goes feral at the sight of food. She’s kinda utterly alone. But briefly, when Alex, Philip, Vigo, Benedict, and Sally were a group, she kind of got stumbled into, and after a kind of nasty first encounter, was able to regain lucidity around other people, and had a truly sweet and memorable and invaluable bit of time with love and friends and other people. She was kind of in love with Sally, who did her hair for her and was really kind to her, and Sally liked her too. They were close. Lisa was close with all of them. But when things ended the way they did, the Entity took that away. Lisa remembers it, but she could never get them or it back, and was cast aside and left behind until the end of ILM, when she finally got peace and found happiness in finally getting to be at rest in the arms of a friend. Overal, she’s a fairly young and wide-eyed, bright, cautious, fun and sweet girl by nature, now massively traumatized and hopeless and broken, but still with a truly incredible amount of that kind nature retained. She would have really loved reading fantasy novels aloud and exploring the worlds of lore and history, travelling, seeing other cultures and geographic features and animals. Enjoys fashion too, and has a heart for designing and making cool, personal and cultural and symbolic tied designs, and would have been both great at that and loved it if she’d lived long enough. (Shoutout to @artianaiolanthe who inspired the fashion take & it is so suited to her I love it). A little shy, but an extrovert at heart under it, just a nervous one. Loved people. Liked climbing trees and fording brooks and baking bread and throwing rocks and baseballs to knock a target out of a tree and win a prize at little town fairs. Didn’t get the length or quality of life she was owed, and it’s just not fair or okay at all. Liked to watch the stars.

As far as getting better goes, mentally, totally. If they could get her out of the realm or break the Entity’s connection, she’d immediately stop killing. She has never done it of her own free will. She’s a sweet small town kid who was just trying to live her life. As far as physically goes though, Lisa is in one of the worst possible spots. Unlike say Amanda, who was on death’s door but healed by the Entity, or the Legion, who weren’t injured at all, Lisa was on death’s door and like Adiris, did not get healed. Just preserved in that near-death state and forced to work in it. Honestly, it’s possible she could survive long enough to get to a hospital and be saved, but at best, she’d probably live another year. When you starve, your body begins to catabolize/eat your own tissue to save itself, starting with fat, and ending with muscles and organs, which, when it reaches the heart, kills you. Lisa was so close to dead, the organ damage was probably awful, and would leave her with complications that would take her very young. The most likely thing, since she was saved literally seconds before death, would be for her to step outside the realm and immediately die. However, it’s possible she got lucky on body damage and could be saved—kinda up to interpretation—and if say, she was around for Quentin’s Vigil going healing batshit, and got some organs repaired that way, she’d have a real shot. (I also am sad. Lisa was actually the only determinate character in ILM to me/that I wasn’t sure the ending for, and while I am very happy with what ended up being her closure, I also would like to see her live for even more love and peace TuT. Lol, if I ever end up doing my goddamn four fate route fics like I’ve joked now a truly dangerous number of times about doing [>.> me @ me] then maybe she will get a variety of lives in the end). I’m glad you wanted to know! I really like and pity her. This poor kid really did nothing wrong, much like Rin, and just got eternally tortured for asking for help and justice against the monsters who took her life so violently. Fuck Brittany. (Read: the Entity.)

Ahhhh Sally. My sweet, sweet girl. Uhhh, not sure which of the Lisa questions you meant for her too, so I’ll try to speed-answer them all? Sally’s intelligent and understanding and thoughtful, patient, polite, almost elegant despite how impoverished she spent most of her life—she just tries to act like a lady and treat people with as much respect and esteem as she can (unless they suck lol). She’s also very mentally damaged and not there though, and has extremely unstable mood swings, especially into despair. Her relationships with the other killers were limited. She talked to & was on polite terms with any who would talk to her and not be condescending or a dick so openly she’d pick up on it (so like, on cordial terms with Evan, Herman, Caleb if she’d been there that long, but not like, Kenneth or Freddy or someone who wouldn’t bother to put up an act). But mostly, after figuring out she wasn’t really of any use to them, they quit communicating with her. Sally has been extremely isolated since shortly after being taken. She believes that the survivors are innocent and suffering and knows that they don’t deserve the hunt, but has no way to stop the whole system, and has been convinced by the Entity that if she does a good job and earns moris, the ones she strangles to death get to stay dead instead of coming back after death to suffer endlessly again, so she works very dedicatedly and slowly trying to earn kills to save them. It took her physical eyes when it got her and lets her see through it’s powers, and uses that to randomize what survivors look like in her memory so she doesn’t catch wise it’s the same people over and over and she’s not saving them at all. It’s extremely tragic. God it’s one of the most cruel Entity tricks, which is saying a lot. Poor gentle woman is Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill day after day year after year and she doesn’t even know how hopeless and meaningless it all is. : (

When the Vigo-Philip-Alex-Benedict team was going, though, she met and attacked, then was convinced to instead befriend them, and quickly became very attached and well liked by them. Met Lisa while with the group, and became extremely fond of her and loving towards her and was truly, truly happy for a brief period of time. Still remembers her, even as lost as all her memories are. Not her name, but what she looked like to Sally, and how her hair felt, and how nice it was. Sally would have considered everyone in that group a dear friend, and in ILM, Philip most definitely becomes her deepest, closest, and best friend, just like she does to him. She’s a very faithful woman to her soul. Loved her family, loved her husband and mourned him, worked as hard as she could. Cared for her patients, and did her best in that hell until the Entity slowly whittled away at her sanity until it broke her mind and left her convinced the only way to end their pain would be to give them death, and she had to do it to save them. Sally loves little pretty things and neatness and collections. Flowers, bows and ribbons, china and colored glass. She would have treasured gifts like decorative holiday cards and carved animal figures and left them on her mantle or carefully tucked in lovingly organized and decorated books she could open to revisit the memory. Likes dresses and skirts and the way the wind feels. Hopeful and very enduring. Loving. Had a mom heart, and will never really get entirely over the loss of her children, but is strong and kind and will find new love that makes life still worth living in other people. Will remember both kindness and cruelty a long, long time. Loved Quentin from the second he gave her flowers (Dwight: Quentin, why did the entity let you have three moms? Quentin: Because I fucking earned it >:[“ [author’s note: he did. God that poor kid...]). Loved Kate from the day she sat with her in a hospital and held her hand. Is like that. Remembers small kindness and treasures them.

Sally could definitely recover. Not all the way probably, physically or mentally, but by far enough to be complete and happy and realized and who she wants. She never meant to hurt people, so she really just needs some stability, and I think she finds that with her new family. I mean, it is a lot to adjust to. It’s been like nearly 100 years. The Entiry broke her mind, and she’s got some damage that just probably can’t ever be fixed, but a lot can be, with drugs and treatments and therapy and kindness and a good support system, and honestly, the biggest things she needs are people to keep her memories together and herself present, and influences to protect her from being manipulated and controlled now that she’s so suggestible and easy to hurt, and she’s got that. I am 100% certain that while some things—the scatteredness, the ease of slipping into other moods especially deep sadness, the different way of thinking altogether—never leave her, she gets better in the most important ways and is truly happy and quite functional and what she wants to be. While there’s no way (yet anyway lol. Cybernetics that good when?) to give her new eyes since the Entity ripped hers out, and she’s blind now, and can’t be changed, her seeing eye dog does a great job for her, and she’s very happy and adjusts well. She has a lot of friends to be her eyes, and learns to lean into what she can do and has a quite fulfilling and blissful life outside the realm in ILM.

Also: thanks for the recs! I’m going on a run soon, and I’ll add those to my iPod and give ‘em a listen if I can. Hope this answered what you wanted to know! ^u^

[chaoticgabby]

My Cheap & Relatively Healthy Grocery List for College Students

Context: I had been used to eating fast food so much because it was cheap that when I went to the doctors' they said I had high glucose content. That wasnt good. So I started eating healthier. Anyway let's skip the BS and get straight into it:

Ramen: the OG cheap food. I personally don't own ramen bc I dont like it that much, but if you want to save money this is the meal, at least add an egg or some veggies to make it healthier.

Frozen Veggies: anywhere from 50 cents to a dollar or two a bag. Can easily be kept in your freezer (if you have one) for months

Mac n' cheese: my all-time favorite. Of course, it might not be healthy for everyone to eat pasta all the time, but I do it anyway. Add some real cheese and spices for taste or chicken and veggies in it / on the side.

Other Pasta boxes (Pasta Roni, Velveeta, Hamburger Helper, etc.): basically as cheap or almost as cheap as Kraft macaroni, but maybe you arent a fan of mac n cheese.

Soup (Soup!!): Cambell's Tomato soup is often $1 a can. I like to eat mine with grilled cheese. Thats a whole ass meal. But of course you can get other soups just as cheap. Basically, any canned foods.

Canned foods & veggies: this one goes without saying. Although, the better options are sometimes $2 to $3 the same can be said for frozen veggies, but just heat these up and cook them in fried rice or just add butter and eat them aside a nice entré

Chunk light tuna: speaking of canned foods, canned tuna is soooo cheap and is a great option (if you even like tuna). Dont actually get the "pack tuna" for $1 a pack unless you want to keep it in your bag bc canned tuna is around 60 cents a can. Mix it with Miracle Whip (or mayo) and spread it over break for a good sammich.

Grilled cheese (or cheese toastie if you arent American I think??): similar to previous options, youre getting your cheese and your butter and your bread. Not as healthy as other options but way better than fast food calories.

Quesadillas: similar to grilled cheese, except spICY. My brother only eats these and he has no meal plan. I do it now too. Honestly, adding up tortillas, cheese dip, shredded cheese, & chicken is kind of costly but worth it. Also cooking chicken is annoying bc I dont have time for that. But. Yknow. A great option.

Pillsbury Crescents: a little costly, about $2+ per tube, but still fookin delicious. Also imma be real: actually havent checked the nutrition label to see if these are actually healthy. But these are sO useful. Make them by themselves for breakfast (with jam, eggs, or alone) or use the dough for other recipes. I use these with Manwich sauce, cheese, and ground beef for snacks :)

Manwiches: manwich sauce cans are $1 and although they have some sugar, its not nearly as bad as fast food. Just cook up some ground beef to go with it & maybe add cheese, sliced bread, or hamburger buns

PB&J: Another OG. I could never get tired of these. You just gotta make sure you have soft bread and the pb&j and youre good to go. Although..like.. some people apparently like theirs toasted or with different jams (I like strawberry).

Eggs!!!! : Just keep these in your fridge. Just do it. You never know when youre going to run out of food. Boiled? Scrambled? Fried? Soft boiled? With ramen? Omelet? In fried rice? Egg sandwich??? Eat them with bread, eat them with toast, eat them as a breakfast sandwich, scramble them with cheese, the list goes on. If you dont eat them often, get a smaller carton, but always have eggs! Also, for baking.

Rice, or fried rice: If you like rice, have been cooking rice for a long time, and can actually make it without burning, make sure you have rice. If you like rice but have never actually made it yourself, it takes trial and error in a pot. Or just invest in a rice cooker. Additionally, fried rice is not that difficult to learn & it fits the bill for healthy bc you can add unlimited veggies and meats. Im not here to educated you but the more ingredients, the better, is how i see it.

Fresh Food:

Fruit: I literally have "an apple a day" for breakfast. It's just good for you. Keep them in your fridge to keep them fresh. Keep one in your bag in case you get hungry. Bananas? Awesome! Use them in smoothies or a milkshake or eat them with your cereal or even with peanut butter. Possibilities are endless with fruit. Just make sure they dont spoil. Apples are OG bc they dont spoil as easily.

Vegetables: Make sure to only periodically get them so that they dont go to waste. Make some broccoli with butter & eat it alongside pasta. Or asparagus. Anything you want. Just make sure to have some with your meals sometimes. Greens are good. Additionally, carrots can get addicting if yoh eat them with ranch. The plus side is they are filling. If you have a tendency to want to munch on something: carrots.

Deli Meat / Sandwich Options: I personally dont make deli sandwiches because ham (as well as roast beef or turkey) can be expensive and then wanting to add lettuce and tomato to a sandwich sounds amazing but I'm scared they will spoil. Dont let me stop you though! Sandwiches are amazing.

Meat: you dont want to be cooking meat all the time bc it can get expensive, but the basics I always get are ground beef and chicken. I prefer "boneless skinless chicken thigh fillets" but you would need to cut off the fat. You could always get rotisserie if you arent feeling to for cooking. Also, if you're feeling expensive one week, salmon is just sooo good. I ate it with asparagus and seasoned with lemon. Delicious.

Snack / Dessert Options:

(I personally don't keep snacks or dessert in my home very often bc you dont want to binge eat. But here is what I have)

Peanut butter: classic, filling, can be potentially bad if you eat a shite ton

Nuts: peanuts, almonds, cashews, and especially pecans

Cookies: make your own, a lot of simple cookie recipes exist and it's a lot easier than you think. Baking essentials like flour, sugar, milk, and eggs are not that expensive to keep around in an apartment kitchen. Difficulties may be vanilla extract (the avg student doesnt have this lying around) a baking sheet, a big bowl, and possible a whisk. Store bought cookie dough isnt too bad either.

Box-cakes / box-brownies: simple and easy. Takes a few eggs sometimes and some oil, milk or water. The same goes for pancake mix. Honestly, I had an out-of-country roommate and he had never heard of boxed cake mix or brownie mix. They always made from scratch where he lived.

Low-calorie ice cream: okay ice cream can be pretty expensive and filled w/ added sugars. I used to eat this strawberry icecream sweetened with stevia and it was SO delicious, but I couldnt find that at my grocery store. Other options are "low-calorie" ice cream or "no added sugars" ice cream. I have one of these and the thing abt it is that its just the right amount of sugar to taste like ice cream and the neat thing is that you dont feel like binging it bc it doesnt have addicting added sugars.

Milkshakes / smoothies: this is a tough one bc me and most other students dont own a blender or juicer. I personally get my smoothies from a local smoothie place that only uses fresh fruit and then I ask not to add the natural sugars bc it is sweet enough with the fruit. Natural smoothies are delicious & I find that you can kind of make then if u freeze your fruits and blend w a fork. "Handmade" milkshakes are actually super easy w this method.

Yogurt: just...mmm.

"Healthy" snack food section, often called the gluten-free aisle: im not too experienced with this and im sure they have added sugars too but what I do know is I tried these gluten free oreos once and they were delicious

Fruits: I mentioned earlier but apples are great snacks

Veggies: also like I said earlier, carrots are great snacks. Not exactly a veggie but possibly potatoes for a meal or snack.

Granola Bars: for when youre too lazy to keep up with fruit and if fruit will spoil, granola bars (they healthy kind, not the chewy sugary kind) are so good to have in your pantry or keep in your backpack for a snack (and to keep you from on campus temptations). Also I used Nature Valley ones instead of cereal. They actually dissolve and are delicious with milk, since some cereals are so sugary.

Since my last college tips post got some notes I figured I'd keep writing these advice posts. For reference, I am hoping to become an RA next year at my college, so I'm not just speaking out of my ass. I generally have experience at college thus far and want to help students.

[phoebehalliwell]

hi! do you have any headcanons abt henry jr. particularly as the only nonmagical member of the fam?

i most definitely do!! okay, so for starters, both kat & tam were raised “without magic”; they still went to magic school and paige definitely used magic around the house but they had no active powers, just like henry. and they were all raised on these grand stories their mom would tell of these amazing adventures of the charmed ones and how they were all going to have these great adventures of their own what i’m getting at was for like the first six or seven years of his life henry thought he was magical. it wasn’t until all three of the mitchell kids were with piper and piper was explaining certain elements of her power to the twins and telling them how to use it once their powers get unbound and all that and henry was like what about me what will my power do? and piper’s like you have the most special power of all because you’re really smart & good at learning : ) and then like immediately texted paige like honey you need to explain to henry he isn’t magical bc the longer you wait the harder it’s gonna get. 

it’s actually henry sr. who sits his son down and explains to him that he’s not like his sister or his mother, but how that’s not necessarily a bad thing. he’s mortal, but that doesn’t mean he can’t help people and do great things without magic. and henry sr. really tries to sell him on this whole idea of being a mortal, especially one that knows about magic, gives you a completely new viewpoint on the world, and allows you to see and understanding things in ways no one else will. (and uhh between you & me it doesn’t really convince baby henry that much but the fact that his dad takes him on fun little “mortals only” adventures helps)

uhh that being said henry still really Really wishes he was magical. uhh enter the reading phase. so, for starters, henry was already like smart and really good at / enjoyed reading. but in this sorta late elementary school thru middle school period he develops sorta two obsessions: 1) ya (specifically fantasy) novels. because all of these novels sorta follow the same basic rules of the plain protagonist becoming something great, being whisked away to this great world where they find out they have magic, where they find out they have this amazing destiny to fulfill, the nobody to somebody progression. and uhh henry really craves that. he really wishes that he is somehow magic, in some overlooked way, in some way that will manifest and prove him to be great enough to be a significant part of the charmed line, not some mortal afterthought. and then 2) magical texts/histories. and this is sorta the more shameful/secretive ones, the books he reads under the covers with a flashlight bc he just doesn’t want anyone to know that he spends hours scouring texts and stories of the charmed ones and various magical creatures desperately trying to find something he could be. no one knew who his biological parents were, it could be possible that somehow magical blood runs through his veins. he studies telekinesis and then and midnight hops out of his bed and spends an hour trying to knock a book off his shelf. he reads about orbing and it’s mechanics and tries to move himself across the room. his studies different creatures, and tests how high he can jump, how fast he can run, how long he can hold his breath underwater, trying to find some trait of him that could somehow be significant. (and of course, he keeps all of these trials secret to the best of his ability bc he would be embarrassed as all hell if it ever came out)

eventually, his studies of magical texts become less of a desperate search for something in his bloodline to more a flex on other witches. bc yeah, they might have magic, but he can still hold his head high knowing he will know more than they ever will. when tam & kat get their powers unbound and their practice moves from the hypothetical to the practical, henry still goes with his sisters to magic school, but instead of spending time in the classroom, he chooses to spend his time in the library.

he also loves studying the book of shadows. yeah, the library has loads more information on its walls then the book could ever contain, but the book has heart. it has this undeniable spirit and energy that ties to countless generations of the warren line, and he really likes to run his hands over the pages and pretend he’s really a part of the warren line (which his family is always ready to fight him on this and say he is a part of the line and blood doesn’t matter, but he’s just like come on guys. you’re my family and i love you but the warren line is a line of witches and i am undeniably not a part of that. but he still likes to imagine).

and y’know like henry’s like twelve or thirteen or something but he really has a lot of information and an insanely through knowledge of book and he’s just like flipping through it or minding his own business in the attic when wyatt (who at this point would be seventeen or eighteen) orbs in looking to id the demon he’s currently after and henry’s like oh you know like what’s it like and he really you know doesn’t want to be an asshole about it or imply he knows more than wyatt (though if you’re outside the family and questioned this kids intelligence he’s demolish you) henry really tries to pass it off as a casual curiosity/polite conversation. and wyatt’s like well im looking for this one demon with like x, y, & z and henry’s like have you thought about this demon? and he’s definitely right and wyatt can tell how much this w means for henry and really starts this sorta tradition of trying to incorporate henry into the research phase of demon fighting (which henry absolutely loves)

and it’s sorta like this self-feeding cycle he gets this role bc he knows a lot but he feels like because he has this role he has to know even more so if you feel like he was a voracious reader before,,,, whew boy are you not ready for now ( in my canon henry Can read latin). and i feel like he’s really close with wyatt bc wyatt is Also A Nerd and genuinely loves to hear henry ramble about this cool new thing that he learned and i feel like wyatt’s totally game to go get boba with henry and hear about all these things the kids been learning i feel like these two have a really close bond. 

and while i’m on the subject of relationships, i feel like henry was definitely one of those kids who had more girl friends than he did guy friends bc a lot of his formative years were spent with his sisters who in turn spent a lot of time with melinda and pj as all four of of those girls were born in 07. so like you know henry would do movie nights with mellie, tam, kat, pj, & parker (and then peyton when she was old enough to watch movies without getting nightmares)

and you know right now he’s like seventeen and a senior in high school and i feel like he’s pretty settled into who he is. he and his dad definitely still to their little “mortals only” adventures, and like a part of him will always sorta be bummed that he isn’t magical, but he’s come to terms with who he is. and he’s not gonna let the fact that he is a mortal you know like hold him back or diminish him, because he is a part of the charmed legacy and the warren line, and he is carving out his own role for himself. and everyone else in the family definitely recognizes him as capable and yeah sometimes he does get left behind bc it’s objectively too dangerous to bring a mortal along and he’s gotten pretty good at being okay with that (or telling himself he’s okay with that). he knows who he is and who he is is undeniably self made. he didn’t coast by on some unearned, hand-me-down skill, and he wears that fact with pride. he may be mortal, but he doesn’t let anyone look down on him for it.