#im currently running witchcrafters

[xionisunderrated]

Any Yugioh players reblog with what deck you run!

[agathaswoman]

Blood or Loyalty

Pairing — Rhaenyra Targaryen x Queensguard Fem!Reader and Alicent Hightower x Kingsguard Fem!Reader's Twin

Word Count — 1,254

Request — Yes or No

Hi how have you been 

I have a story that I think will be interesting if you don’t mind writing it 

so if have watched the latest episode of HOD then you know the twin ser arryk was sent to pretend to be his brother ser errik so he can murder the queen but in the fanfic idea I have the reader has a twin who stayed back in kings landing with the greens because she’s in love with Alicent, but aegon sends the reader’s twin to dragon stone to pretend to be the reader and kill rhaenyra and you can decide how it ends 

Does she die  or does she catch on

Summary — Having to face your twin with your sword pointing at her and vice versa. Will your moral and loyalty for the rightful heir Queen Rhaenya will falter while trying to stop your beloved twin from harming the Queen?

Warnings — violence, anxiety attack, and breaking down

A/N — hi, yes, im back after years of hiatus T_T and im here again because of House of the Dragon omg i just love this series so much and tbh i still haven't watched any episodes on season 2 since im still waiting for it to finish hehe BUT i've seen some clips so i have bit of an idea  about the request. what team are y'all on? im team black since day 1 !!!

please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. i do not own any of the characters.

It is currently a slow night for you as you are patrolling the castle grounds, clad in your full armor while clutching the hilt of your sword that you named, ‘Porphura Hexen.’ Whereas ‘Porphura’ means purple, which is associated with “nobility, power, and ambition” while ‘Hexen’ comes from how people make rumors about you practicing witchcraft because of the unexplainable deaths of the men that tried to win your heart, where it's a guarantee that they will meet their demise. It's either they die on battlefields, catch a sickness that does not have a cure, or even how the family of those men slowly lose their riches and connections.

You were looking over the castle's embrasure when you heard unusual heavy footsteps that you hadn't heard ever since Queen Rhaenyra made you her Queensguard. You quickly unsheathed ‘Porphura Hexen’ as you stealthily followed the noise, you immediately quickened your pace when you heard Queen Rhaenyra's soft voice saying your name. You immediately barged into her room, and there, you saw your twin sister clutching her sword tightly and pointing its tip toward the Queen.

“Sestra!” You called your twin in your native language.

Without hesitation, you charged forward with your sword to attack your twin to take her attention off the Queen. She instantly turned your way and blocked your attack.

“What are you doing, sestra?!” You shouted at her trying to put some sense in her head.

“King's order! This is the King's order!” She shouted back at you as she was trying to prevent your sword from getting close to her neck.

“King's order, my arse! Stop this madness now! Are you out of your mind for trying to harm the rightful heir of the Iron Throne?!” You screamed at her as you put your strength on your legs so you could stand your ground and let the Queen run out of the room.

“My Queen! Go! Leave the room!” You said as you pushed your sister's body far from the Queen's way with the help of the force from your legs.

You heard your sister's body crash on a shelf which made the books fall on top of her head. So, you immediately went to your Queen's side and helped her up so she could escape the room along with the servant who got involved in the mess.

“Go, My Queen. I'll handle this,” when Rhaenyra was about to run along with the servant next to her, you reached for her wrist and gave her your dagger, quietly exchanging silent stares, “Take this. Be careful…my Queen.” 

You didn't wait for Rhaenyra's response as you immediately dodged an attack from your twin when she aggressively swung her sword at you.

“Go! Alert the guards!” You felt guilty for trying to order the Queen but it will always be your mission to guarantee the Queen's safety, no matter what.

Once you were sure that the Queen had a safe distance from your twin, you gave all your focus towards her and only deflected her attacks to you.

After a minute of only deflecting your twin's attacks, she cornered you into a corner with her blade's tip pointing at your neck, “Sestra…we should be in this together. You and I, just like the old times. We're born together, aren't we?” she tried to convince you.

“This isn’t just about the King's order…isn't it?” You asked, staring right into her eyes. Ever since the both of you are young gals, she can never hide the way her eyes falter when it is faced with your own piercing eyes.

She avoided your gaze, “It's about the Queen Dowager, ain't it?” She remained silent, only her shaky breaths indicated that your guess was right. “She's only using you, sestra!”

“My affairs with the Queen Dowager aren't and shouldn't be any of your concern,” she raised her voice a little bit when you spoke the truth.

“Not my concern? Have you gone mad?!” You looked at her with anger, not seeing the person in front of you as your twin sister anymore. You scoffed while frowning at her, “Just like the old times, huh? We took an oath! A vow, sestra! We are to fulfill our sacred duty To protect and serve the realm! Where have your honor and morals gone to, huh? They usurped Queen Rhaenyra's throne! The rightful heir!”

You sighed, leaned your head on the wall behind you, “Sestra…” Your twin whispered as she slowly lowered her blade pointing at your neck. 

You looked straight into her eyes, “We were born together, weren't we?” You said as you swiftly plunged your extra dagger into your twin's stomach, “You parted us…you forgot your oath, our vow, sestra.”

You watched her fall on her knees with blood coming out of her mouth and eyes going dull in seconds, “But I still love you, sestra.”

A thud was heard when your twin's body completely fell on the floor, her eyes looking at you with a lone tear streaming down to her cheek and the stone-cold floor.

You fell on your knees as you stared at her cold dead body. You heard multiple footsteps entering the room but you only focused on your twin's form as you slowly closed her lifeless eyes.

You took a deep sigh as you stood up with a grunt whilst picking up your sword. You faced the small council that gathered in the room with only their sleeping garments, “The assassinator of the Queen that was sent by The Greens has been exterminated.” You reported to them.

You swallowed deeply when you felt the urge to sob, but not here. Not in front of them. As the small council kept on discussing the event that happened, Rhaenyra only stared at you. She saw how your hands were quivering while trying to calm them by gripping your sword's hilt.

Rhaenyra cleared her throat, and the small council immediately turned silent, “Ser Y/N, you're dismissed. You've done enough for the day.”

You immediately turned your head at the Queen, “But, My Queen. With all due respect, as your Queensguard, it is my dut–”

“I am fully aware of what your duty is, Ser Y/N” Rhaenyra took a deep breath, “As my Queensguard, I need you on your best. So, please, take a rest. At least, just for a while.”

“We will still need you, Ser Y/N,” Rhaenys, Ser Corlys's wife, added.

Ser Alfred approaches you and pats your shoulder, “I'll take care of the things here myself. Now, in the meantime, take a rest.”

You sighed as most of the votes were against you staying around the small council. So, you dismissed yourself and went straight ahead to your room.

As you entered your room, you carefully took off your silver armor on your body and placed it neatly on its storage. You took your bloodied dagger as you sat on the edge of your bed.

The moment you sat on your bed, your twin’s voice rang inside your head, “Sestra, you…a-are always the better between the both of us. K-Keep believing y-yourself…and keep p-protecting the Q-Queen…Rhaenyra. I love you…” Your twin sister breathed her last breath after saying her last words.

You sighed deeply as you stood up and took a damp cloth to clean your dagger. As you are cleaning your sharp dagger, you feel your tears falling onto your hands. Soft sobs rang inside your room as you broke down behind closed doors, missing your twin's presence more than ever.

[writingquestionsanswered]

So Im currently trying to write my first big story - big as in I'm trying to make it a book - But im overwhelmed with what to do:

I want to write, but first I have to work out the acts and plot. But to do that I have to do some research as it's historical fiction. And that's where I'm failing, because I'm making very slow progress and it's frustrating. It also takes away the last of my motivation.

Do you have any tips on how I should proceed now or what might help?

(I might want to add that I'm working full-time outside and often can only work on weekends on it)

De-Motivated by Story Research Prior to Plotting

Research prior to plotting can be overwhelming and frustrating, so here are some tips that might help:

1 - Start with a General Summary - Before you worry about plotting out scenes and figuring out the different acts, try writing a beginning to end summary of what you want the story to be. Don't worry so much about specific details like dates, places, proper terminology or events, etc. Use general terms to fill those in. It might look something like this:

[[ SPOILERS for the novel Outlander by Diana Gabaldon ]]

A former English military nurse in the 1940s travels to Scotland and inadvertently travels back in time, to the 1700s, via standing stones near the inn where she's staying. There she encounters a band of smugglers and is taken captive and brought to the local laird's castle. Despite the suspicions of the laird and his war chief, they see her value as a healer and she settles in as the castle's healer-in-residence. During this time, she tries to figure out a way back to her own time, but also forges a friendship with one of the smugglers she patched up when she was first captured. Eventually, she is summoned for questioning by a British captain (who happens to be an ancestor of the husband she left in the 1940s) who suspects her of being an English spy, and the highlanders try to protect her by having her marry the highlander she patched up. Despite her attachment to her new husband, she runs away to the standing stones but is caught and imprisoned by the British captain. Once she is rescued by her new husband, they return to the castle where she gets wrapped up in a witchcraft accusation and narrowly avoids being burned at the stake. Finally, she and her new husband travel to his family castle, but since her husband is a fugitive, he is captured by British forces and taken to prison. The nurse is able to rescue him with the help of some of his clan, and they eventually escape to France.

[[ END SPOILERS ]]

While this is a fairly complete beginning to end summary of the first book in the Outlander series, it leaves out a lot of specific details related to time, setting, world, character development, etc.

However, going through this summary, it would be easy to see places where research needs to be done. Just looking at the first part of the summary, we can already see a lot of questions we could ask about specifics:

A former English military nurse in the 1940s travels to Scotland and inadvertently travels back in time, to the 1700s, via standing stones near the inn where she's staying.

-- Who is this woman? (Where is she from, where did she serve? Why does she go to Scotland?)

-- Where are the standing stones? What do they look like? How do they transport her back through time?

-- Specifically what year in the 1700s does she travel to? What is happening during that time?

This would give you some ideas about what, specifically, you need to research. Breaking it up in this way not only makes it less daunting, but gives you specific things to research instead of trying to learn a bunch of unnecessary data.

2 - Learn How to Research Historical Details - My Guide to Internet Research offers some general research pointers (though I probably need to update it, tbh). Also, I have a post specific to Researching an Historical Topic. Furthermore, there are some good books that guide you through researching historical fiction, as well as helpful books about specific time periods that are geared toward writers.

3 - Make Use of YouTube - I can't express enough how helpful YouTube can be when researching historical details. For example, if Diana Gabaldon were preparing to research and write the first Outlander book today, she could find videos about British nurses in World War II, specific places in Scotland where the book is set, videos about the history of the Scottish highlands, video about Scottish highlander culture, videos about clothing and fashion in 18th century Scotland, videos about the history of witchcraft in Scotland, videos about the British occupation of Scotland, videos about 18th century healing and medicine, videos about healing herbs of the Scottish highlands... you name it.

4 - Know Your Time and Dedicate Accordingly - One of the hardest things to remember when researching, plotting, and writing long fiction is that there is a certain amount of time it's going to take you, no matter what, and if you overestimate how much time you actually have to dedicate to your WIP in a given day, week, month, or year, it's very frustrating and de-motivating. One thing you might try is taking an honest look at your calendar for a particular week or month. For each day, subtract the number of hours you'll spend sleeping. Then, subtract the number of hours you'll spend working, commuting to work, traveling for work, etc.. Finally, subtract the number of hours you know will be dedicated to other necessities, like taking care of family, doctor appointments, workouts, etc. This may only leave you with barely an hour a day, but knowing you have that hour to dedicate to writing is important. Not only can you block off and fiercely guard that hour, but you can be more realistic about what you'll get done with the hours you have available in a given week.

5 - Don't Feel Like You Have to Rush It or Figure It All Out Now - We have a tendency to imagine a ticking clock where one doesn't exist. If this is your first long fiction story, especially, there is no reason to feel like you need to get this done post haste. Give yourself grace to take the time you need to get it done. Putting unnecessary pressure on yourself only demotivates you. Instead, try to look forward to that hour a night where you can dive into learning about the time, place, and world of your story. Also, don't feel like you have to know every specific detail before you start plotting or even writing. It's okay to research as you write--as you come to things you need more information on--or even to use placeholders in your first draft, allowing you to go back and fill in the research later.

Happy researching and writing. You've got this! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[windvexer]

As a person who has grown up with folk magic and been very interested in witchcraft since as long as I can remember, I’ve always struggled with the aspect of “feeling” magical or feeling energies. I’ve had no problem absorbing the knowledge of witchcraft, what plants and crystal properties are, what to use when and why, but when it actually comes down to performing a ritual or spell, even though I know what ingredients I am reaching for, I don’t feel the “energies” of what I am working with. It mostly feels like arts and crafts that affect the things outside of myself. Im not particularly in tune with the vibes of the rosemary plant on my windowsill or the vibrational tendencies of the quartz crystal next to my bed. And because of this, I feel very alienated from a lot of discourse of witchcraft where a lot of people talk about feeling the lay-lines or magical currents running through the world.

I feel like a dungeons and dragons wizard class who’s jealous of the sorcerer class, cause they were just “born” with it. (If the reference holds any weight)

Hi, Anon. Thanks for sharing.

You didn't ask for advice or anything but maybe some commiseration will do?

I don't feel lay lines or magical currents in the world, either. I am also wizard class (well wait, maybe warlock?) and while I can now "feel the vibes," it didn't come naturally to me. It was a skill I had to learn over years, which involved huge amounts of practice. I worked so hard at it that in the present day I really can't imagine going back to something so intensive.

Even in the present day, "feeling the vibes" is not an automatic, always-on experience. I have to intentionally tune in, and depending on the kind of day I'm having, I still might only get faint whispers. Or, nothing. I recently had a Working experience where I couldn't connect to anything even after I applied concerted effort.

And now that I'm not doing the equivalent of psychism bodybuilding, if I want to strongly tune in for any appreciable length of time, I have to engage in witchcraft that assists with "parting the veil." If I go any significant amount of time without practice it takes a lot of work to get this "muscle" back to a serviceable state.

So maybe there are cool people who are in tune with the vibes 24/7 or who were born with that ability but it's definitely not all of us out here. I don't even know how I could function like that, tbh. I've heard stories from people who are "always on" and from what I've heard, it's not a way you'd choose to be.

On the other hand you're also a success story for people who haven't figured out spellwork yet and are worried they'll never be able to do anything because they can't feel anything. So I appreciate you sharing!

And best of luck for everything that comes next.

[moonlit-escape]

⋆⛧°. ⋆ Sasha Mystreet headcanons !!

i have a tummy ache rn from eating too much. anyway here's sasha i lobe her

half russian, half korean

demisexual (this is me projecting not just bc of her color palette i promise dont LOOK at me like that)

still pretty closed off, cold, and stoic. but, once in a blue moon, gene and zenix get her to genuinely laugh or mouth off and get angry and they absolutely relish in it

they're best friends :(

the only one of the three who can currently legally drive.

breakcore / hyperpop-punk Queen !! (crystal castles, quinn, swrslvt/cynthoni, laura les, snafu, charli xcx, xn88ax. yknow, shit i added to her playlist)

PIERCINGS!! honestly w all these headcanons, if they are/were a punk, they have piercings. she has double eyebrow piercings, a bellybutton piercing, and a tongue piercing

got deeper into and still practices witchcraft, just not potions or spells. she prefers her palm-reading, tarot, herbal mixtures and remedies, and crystal charges

im planning on making her patron saint someone from MCD that didn't get to mystreet, but first i have to actually Watch MCD.

loves scented candles and incense. she has pretty incense holders all around the house

favourite video game is luigi's mansion

always plays luigi during mario party and always loses. but it's fine bc she always wins mario kart (zenix is always princess peach and gene always plays one of the fuckin monster goons: dry bones, shy guy, goomba, one of the koopa kids)

had a crush on gene at one point, and they even tried out a relationship in uni, but then realized they were just doing the same exact things they did as friends and weren't really going anywhere, so they stayed besties

uses potion bottles as water bottles because they're just more practical

runs a vampire fanfic tumblr blog. she makes really fuckin good vampire au fanfics of really popular fandoms

has a butterfly knife and switchblade collection. they're all really pretty

zenix made her match phone charms with him, but he tells everyone she forced him (nobody believes him)

her and gene used to be skater buddies (zenix couldnt figure out how to skate for the life of him), but she's the only one who still skates around sometimes

i don't know how to explain this to anyone and it is honestly just my own delusion but oh my God did sasha have a mini crush on katelyn in high school

like it wasn't anything super. but she cannot lie to herself and say she didn't have fun during gym getting to see katelyn

typical "goth gf" reads classic literature and edgar allen poe poems and short stories. but also she has to work, so she listens to audiobooks

it's not that she doesn't feel her emotions or anything, but more-so she's just not used to expressing them, and doesn't know how to properly. and now, she feels like it's too late and would be too awkward to learn how

so, she expresses herself in other ways. like through her loud music, or her witchcraft, or through pen sketches and painting

she likes to go on walks every once in a while in completely random or strange places. yknow, ones where it feels like you shouldn't really be going. and sometimes she sketches whatever she finds there and thinks about

whenever she has a particularly.. excruciatingly stressful day, she likes to lay on the floor with her astral projector light, listen to music, and take an edible. it helps her calm down, and feel like she's in a different world for a while

it has backfired before though, because her mind went to the wrong place, and she ended up having a panic attack. so, she makes sure she only does it when both of the guys are home to check on her and ground her if she does start spiraling

Don't do drugs, kids. And if you REALLY have to try it because you're stupid, don't do it Stupidly. have a babysitter. a Trusted babysitter. and don't start with edibles. Be safe, or fuck up and die

[youremyheaven]

I'm currently in my Venus md and although it is supposed to be a good dasha, it's been kicking my ass since the beginning 😭 Ketu dasha was a strange experience, a lot of turmoil in friendships (and BRUTAL breakups) but mentally I felt kind of stable like almost stoic. But girl Venus dasha is something else, idk what's going on in the stars but it's like the guardian angel had enough and decided to troll 💀 I have Venus in taurus krittika (praying for a sun/venus man 🙌) conjuct Rahu and aspected by Mars, what do you think about this ? Do you know how to balance Venus influence ?

Btw I love your posts 💜 your insights are so interesting and unique! Can't wait for you to expand more on spirituality 💫

2022 was a Venus year and it was easily my most unhinged, chaotic and delulu year lmao,,, i was def experiencing all the typical Venusian themes of love, indulgence, feeling gorg, but also feeling sad, excluded, unable to connect to others etc,, it was very imbalanced and out of proportion. i attracted a lot of attention but that included a lot of negative attention as well

i think your experiences reflect your placements. you must have a good Ketu placement if you felt stoic during it omg😩

i think the Venus conjunct Rahu is what is causing the imbalance. Rahu blows things out of proportion and exaggerates the effects of Venus,,, on top of it all, its also aspecting Mars?? 😩girl which house is your Venus?? Mars has a tendency to be destructive 😬so the overblown Rahuvian Venus keeps running into accidents 😔

the thing that has helped me a lot is decentering my fixation with Venusian things (beauty, love, relationships etc) and channelling it thru other more "stable" venues like making art, writing, finding new hobbies. the more you feed Venus, the more it grows. im not saying you should starve Venus but you need to cut its air supply a little bit, if you catch my drift. i lose myself in relationships very easily and im VERY aware of that, so detaching from it to consciously focus on myself helps me "balance" my Venusian influence, its also easyyy to hyperfixate over beauty, romance etc and honestly i find it very freeing to not look in the mirror picking myself apart and tbh i feel like ive become prettier since 🤪 they key is to distance yourself from Venusian indulgence and focus instead on Venusian creativity. you can appreciate beauty through music, film, art etc instead of making it a self centered activity (i dont even know if these are things u struggle with bc of your Venus dasha but im just sayin')

affirmations have helped me a lot and doing spiritual tingzzz and dabbling in glamour magic and witchcraft has helped me feel beautiful from within. feed your spirituality and watch your peace and vibrancy grow. i started praying to my ishta devata during my Venus year as well <333

tysm<333 id love to post more about spirituality tbh,, lmk if there's anything specific youd like for me to talk about

[nicegaai]

im drawing lesbian nordic 5s again ahhgjghnfjfjdjdndjdjfjfn... nothing good enough to share yet but the lesbian womyns land au is startibg to be less of a joke (started as a plot device to have a bunch of adult wlw from all walks of life hanging out w no men around)... heres some of the things on my mind

sweden is a long flowy skirts+dresses farmers market type. half her head is shaved and she has a sleeve of tattoos. used to be a serious businesswoman in stockholm (or portland but dont think about the setting too hard) but now she just wants to live in the woods (she fell for the cottagecore pintrest aesthetic and blew up her life to have it). shes the pov main character in my imagination bc shes relatively new to the land

finland is a SHORT FAT BUTCH !!!!!!!!!!!! she is ADORABLE and SOOOO NICE and HELPFUL TO EVERYONE!!!!! shes got practical skills for running life off the grid and is an excellent handywoman and ms sweden is head over heels for her on sight. finland might b a permanent resident / own the land. running this low tech summer camp for wayward lesbians is her lifelong dream and SHES LIVIN IT BABY

Denmark is obv a basketball shorts + growing out a buzzcut messy type. loud, rubs people the wrong way easily but is well intentioned. brings practical skills to the land too (shes a tradeswoman). literally just canon denmark but with more lesbian swag. shes here bc she loves women but started coming to support her ex-wife/current gf eternal situationship ->

norway is a dianic mother goddess earth worshipper type and the land's high priestess. (everyone else buys into the lesbian religion stuff at different levels ex. fin thinks its important, den doesnt quite get it). other than that shes a millennial skinny jeans sidepart collects way too many plushies type. still says heccin doggo and such. super skinny very pretty not very expressive (she is possibly tripping at any given time. its a religious practice ok she Needs more weed shrooms lsd Right Now). her brain is a little fried but maybe she was always like this. outside this she struggles to keep employment or not maybe shes doing something or has a witchcraft etsy shop i dont know tbh. she can do whatever she wants bc shes a trust fund baby.

iceland is 16 and the result of norways teen pregnancy. shes been coming to the land as long as she can remember, may or may not even be gay, and is going through a Euphoric Atheist phase both genuinely and because it pisses mom off (ice is one of the few who can even tell when nor is pissed off). shes in online high school and her only friends her age are also online. den is her stepmom kind of and the only one who Gets Her... ugh... flips hair

other notes: everyone looks way more like normal hetalia chrs than they do the nyo counterparts. and the other priestesses are england and romania

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

So yes, im coming up on the end of my detox. During this time, ive actually learned a LOT because simply, im not glued to my phone 24/7.

Society pushes this idea that we NEED phones. That without your portable dopamine box you arent cool, or normal, or whatever the hell they choose to say.

Ive found clarity in my life. Ive focused more on my witchcraft and learning the craft itself. Ive danced in the rain and felt the rhythm of the earth, its heart beating beneath my feet. Ive started to learn Finnish even better than before, and my studies on homework have become so much easier because im not as distracted.

If it was up to me, i would never go back to being glued to my dopamine box. But...

If anyone who is following me and knows of my Amino, Ive been gone from it for awhile now. I worry that certain rules arent being enforced, or its becoming a hateful place. I left it in the hands of my staff, of course, but i still worry...

But regardless, Ill see if I can get an app that allows me to run mobile apps on my computer. I dont want to go back to using my phone unless i have to.

(Keep reading if you wanna see what I have to say about shapeshifting and stuff. I dont want this post to be eons of scrolling to those who dont want to read about it.)

Now, onto the important stuff that people might be asking me.

"Rio, did you fully m-shift and achieve your goals of shifting???" Well... no. Sadly.

Life has been really hectic, so Ive been focusing on the important, human stuff in my life, and have been struggling with balancing the important, animal stuff in my life. Im not going to lie, its easier to do now than it was before, but I still have to put effort into it.

With p-shifting, well... recently Ive been reading a lot of hate on p-shifting in general, how its wrong, how much actual stigma surrounds it, and im in a ditch when it comes to believing it will actually happen. Ive watered down my beliefs so many times for others online recently, that im questioning that they are true.

I know that they arent true. But, I know for a fact that even if I never p-shift, I will still be happy being who I am. Its a constant itch, and constant scratch to be who I really am, but I honestly believe that even if I never do p-shift, I will never stop being here, being a shifter and being happy.

In the end thats all its really about, seriously. Arent we just trying to be happy with ourselves, our identity, our lives? It hurts to even go a step outside of the shifting community, and see hours and hours of people talking about how horrible it is, how manipulative, how impossible it is. It makes me want to hide again in my little bubble and forget I ever saw it.

But it brings a sort of... clarity I guess? Many people who have never been apart of the community or have even ventured in will say "its impossible to do".

People who have been hurt, or have seen the hurt caused by misinformation and misguidance of shapeshifting will almost always say "p-shifting is manipulative, horrible, the people within it are blah blah blah blah blah...."

People who are apart of it but havent p-shifted will say "Ive seen so many success stories, Ive even seen my own progress with it and im really happy" And people who have shifted... well they either disappear quite quickly, or their stories are lost to deaf ears.

And after years and years of feeling like I have to fight against these people, show how I am, show the truth and understand it all... I feel domesticated by the reality that is always, constantly shoved in my face.

Nobody cares. Im trapped within society and I cant escape. I will never be free. I will never, ever be my animal. I am delusional for even believing it.

vitut.

I know that currently in my life, I am where I am. I cannot change it, because I am not old enough to. I know that I have and must make do with what I have, instead of wishing for things I do not have. Cougars are adaptable, we are survivors and change with our enviornment.

There will ALWAYS be time to be who I am. There will always be chance after chance after chance for me, I just have to grab it.

And ive noticed that I no longer have to force every single m-shift. It feels like just thinking about it, about mountain lions causes a shift. Ive gotten so comfortable in my living situation ive been vocalizing as my animal, jumping around on all fours and feeling like my animal.

Sometimes I worry that Ive become so obsessed with trying to m-shift that Ive forgotten that theres still more beyond it. While writing this post, I feel... excited for my future. I feel like p-shifting can happen to me. I feel like I am almost close to permanently m-shifting.

And let me tell you a little secret about m-shifting.

(There is no trigger for when you permanently m-shift. There is no way to actually know by just reading what others say it feels like. There is no actual way to do it.)

Permanently m-shifting to me, simply feels like a comfortableness with my animal. It feels safe, and okay to be who I am. And personally for me, after years of m-shifting, trust is what has brought me to where I am. (This might not be the case for everyone lol, figure out whats going on with yourself instead of using what I say to be the end all for you and your problems!) I was honestly afraid of my other side. That it was dangerous, wild, would hurt someone. I was also afraid that I would never actually get here and do this, because my mental shifts arent as strong or frequent as others. I was also afraid that it wouldnt work. So, so afraid that I would mess up and fail.

But I've learnt that... I am in control of myself. And being an animal IS myself. I have the control to be safe, and not harm others. We all do. Its an idea that has been presented to us through media, stigma, ableism and society itself. We always talk of people "losing control" or "flying off the handle". Werewolves are seen as beings who will rip your face off if they get mad.

We arent like that, you know that, right? I had to trust that I would be in control of my m-shifts. And even if my control has slipped, (such as when I had an m-flare in the middle of gym class) I was able to quickly recover because it wasnt appropriate at school to start running on all fours and hiding beneath the bleachers.

Ive also learnt that no, you cannot fail while m-shifting. There is no right or wrong way to m-shift. There is no way to fail an m-shift. M-shifting is just allowing yourself to be more animal-like, allowing your animal to be safe and comfortable with itself. Its complicated to explain the connection between our animal selves, and our human selves, but the most basic (not too accurate) way to explain it is that we are each other. You are your animal, and your animal is you. As you m-shift more this makes more sense, and you find your own meaning to what your connection, and your animal's connection is.

Regardless, even if I took breaks. Even if I wasnt dedicated, or spent all of my time m-shifting. I still am getting closer. What matters is the fact that you still care about it, and will do it when you can. Its unrealistic to believe someone could constantly be m-shifting actively, most circumstances make it very hard to do so. (Especially mine. I have divorced houses, 2 AP classes im taking, problematic siblings, responsibilities...)

It feels like learning a new language in a sense. Like, to m-shift is to constantly m-shift. To learn a new language is to constantly immerse yourself in it. Well... we cant really do that, so instead we go with short bursts of doing this, with interspersed passive learning, or attempting to m-shift when we can.

And nobody is barred from m-shifting. Let me let you know. NOBODY IS BARRED FROM M-SHIFTING!! Some people I know feel stuck, like they cannot m-shift. That its only involuntary. Listen. Listen listen listen.

There are many different ways to m-shift. So many!! Lots of people say "I cant meditate, and so ill never m-shift." Thats NOT true. Thats not true. I literally cant meditate lol.

And its not really attempting to voluntarily force a shift using triggers and stuff. I just think about it and try to feel more immersed in my senses, allow my perspective of life to shift more animal-like. AND, m-shifts do NOT have to be large, explosive things that change your whole reality and how you think and you want to crawl on all fours and you feel yourself p-shifting and fur-

Nah nah nah. Most shifts people will experience, at least how i know it, will be small, tiny shifts that you most likely wont notice unless you pay attention to it. Even if you arent trying to m-shift in the moment, even thinking about it may cause you to fall into a light shift. You do not need to have very impactful m-shifts to m-shift.

And I wont lie, my friend @dakotathewolf has helped me a lot, even with the endless ramblings on both ends (lol) I feel like we have both grown as people and understand more because of what we have taught each other.

I hope this helps you, dakota, along with anyone else who needs it.

[lilsevilramblings]

Athanasia

(^click to read on AO3)

ˌæθəˈneiʒə) noun. deathlessness; immortality.

Growing pains. It was ironic really, being around for so long and seeing so much only to suffer the consequences of immortality. Some would say we’re lucky, whilst others might feel pity. If you were to look me dead in the eyes and ask me, “How is eternal immortality?” I would laugh and tell you it’s not as great as it seems.

Humans would never understand the true pain of being alive for so long and seeing so many horrors and the self-inflicted destruction of mankind through your own eyes. They would never understand dying in the middle of nowhere in the middle of a foreign field over, and over again. They would never have to endure the pain and suffering of watching all the people you care about walk away from you. Friendships that have lasted centuries are gone in a flash. None of us speak about it. It’s something too confusing, too difficult to talk about even if they have experienced it as well.

Nations are complicated. And I don't mean complicated as in how and why we exist in the first place. I mean personally. They're stubborn and bitter. They like to think they're not, they like to pretend. However, I can't say im I’m the same. I'm not delusional and I think literally.

Hence why I’m currently sitting at home, alone. It’s not a recent trait I’ve gained, in fact, my whole life I’ve isolated myself from others. Nations and people. It’s not like they care anyway no one ever has. Not even as a little babe, no one was there no one even batted an eye at me.

To cope, I’d search for sympathetic couples. They would take one look at me and wouldn’t hesitate to take me in their arms and call me their own. It filled the gaping hole in me and soothed my needs. It didn’t last long, of course, I wasn’t human after all. Once they noticed I wasn’t getting any older like the other children they began to worry. Some would throw me away, scared because they didn’t know what I was. Humans are like that, running away from things they don’t understand. Some blamed witchcraft, I won’t go into that because you can already guess what would have happened.

Naturally being devoid of socialising, I keep myself locked up in my house. It’s not a bad thing, it’s quiet, and I can speak my mind. Other nations seem to disagree, however, claiming I’m bitter and alone. I will admit, it’s half true but I’m certainly not alone. I have me, myself and I. My home stays need and tidy, no one comes around to wreck it anyway. My brothers don’t bother to visit anymore, it must have been the 80s when they last visited for Christmas.

I’m not completely void of social contact. I attend my meetings, and I’ve never missed one. I arrive on time and I never say longer than I should have. In most meetings, I end up bickering with others yet most of the time I keep quiet. I will admit I'm not as talkative as I once was. I’d blame it on the age but I just can’t be bothered anymore. Funnily enough, lying in bed and tending to my garden tired me out. My garden certainly keeps me on my toes, it’s one of my favourite pastimes to do and I could never abandon it.

I’m sitting in my Sherlock chair in front of the fire embroidering my newest piece. A mix of colours is stitched into the fabric as I poke and tie it together. My needle weaved through the fabric in and out, in and out.

Sleep clouds my vision pulling me away from the repeated pattern of the embroidery. It appeared it was time to sleep. I carefully placed the rolls of string back into the box I keep them in, and then I untied the string from the needle and placed that back too. I locked the case closed and placed it back in its designated place. I crept slowly up the old wooden stairs of my home and made it to my room. Everything lay where it was supposed to be. Sighing, I pull back the thick winter duvet and bury myself deep in the fabric. Sleep clawed at my eyelids drawing them down as I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

.

.

.

.

.

(AND WE’RE DONE??? Please lmk if I need to improve anyway it would be a great help <33)

[jbird-the-manwich]

im dumb but I’ve only recently started to understand a big reason I’ve hardly made many witch friends is because so many people are outside of magic trying to get in and learn HOW and I was born of magically inclined hillfolk,  trying to learn WHY and WHEREFROM and its very hard to relate over witchcraft and the like when priorities differ. I like to discuss theory and precedent more or less for its own sake and most people I meet discuss those things from a frame of pursuit of results and like... I don’t need better magic. I need community. I need stimulus and satisfaction of an innate curiosity about other forms of it and where different people believe it comes from. It’s an odd position to be in to feel like you already know what you’re doing when most folks ask questions for different reasons and many decide your differing background means you’re somehow in a position to teach them when you’re literally studying *them*. There seems to be a very tutorial-hungry contingent of folks that tend to see any form of study as a way to harvest power and that’s so ass-backwards it’s no wonder anti-intellectualism and cultish behavior is so rife among the alleyways of the magical community because of course it would be when nature functionally is incapable of waste and there’s this huge body of people acting as a resource to fuel the megalomania of the unscrupulous and drive off the wary  because for them  inquiry is only an expression of a desire to incorporate new methods and runs the risk of killing the “magic” if they can see the wizard behind the sheet because for whatever reason they need that romance to maintain its mystique, but that’s not the only function inquiry can serve in the context of a community of people originating in different currents. Not when most people think we’re cracked for even believing things go bump in the night let alone having a full spice rack of materia with which to deal with those very things and names to call them as well. 

[thesugarhole]

a positive of me ignoring other stuff in favorite of sitting/lying down as much as possible, bar funeral exception: unlocked 3 dd2 achievements. would have started on a fourth, memory related one, but youll never guess what i forgot to do (apply memories)

achievos were defeat a shambler with shamblers spawn: at long last, i finally got an academics study with the beast. my team didnt make it out alive 3/4, but the shambler was defeated with only one casualty so yay

defeat 3 lair bosses in one run: i went leviathan, general and librarian. it was tricky with the librarian bc of my team but rearranging them and stalling a bit worked

enter the mountain with all positive relationships: more of a coincidence than anything, but since i was already there i gave it a go.

the last two were on the same run on obssession, and i also fought it, beat it, no one died. the current nerf to it made it very easy me thinks, like if you get distracted during it you will likely still get bodied. so i guess my hardest boss is ambition now? also some shrine stuff, finished grave robber and started runaway. after her is plague doc and its done with

update on my ankle: i think the painkillers and compression combo helped swelling go down by a lot today, even with me having to walk short distances (borrowing my late grandma's crutches). i thought at first one of my aunts suggested she would make me a splinter but i gravely misunderstood and it was catholic witchcraft. like sorry but i got no better way to describe it (she didnt like me pointing out that it WAS witchcraft adjacent just cosigned by jesus) it was a hands off ritual involving prayer and objects and i entertained them but i dont think it will help physically aoaodjdeikwak

well anyways im doing better 👍 thank you to those who cared. i have hopes of walking normally by monday so i dont have to take the crutch with me. in the short amount of time i had it out i already got a hand blister <3 tis the life of cursed by god

[forgottentristan]

aklsdjfkl;sdj yeah ngl these deffff feellike clashing personalities right here skladfjklsjdfjkdf if tristan knew that finn was in the resistance he'd respect him more bc at least he's making a stand for what he believes in!!...but then they'd be diametrically opposed soooo still not great ;DDDD (at least...how things currently stand ;DDD tristan is def being slowly disenchanted by roderick's ~whole thing~ etc but any transformation there is still def down the road a ways!! [i feel like the whole malconaire witches thing might be his last straw but who knows! it ~could happen earlier...but that is neither here nor there atm hahaha])

BAHAHAHAHA finn legit like 'i cant tell which is worse -- the varmont bit...or the buzzkill bit??' alkdjsfkljsdkfjsdf (that smack you just heard was def eabha facepalming) tbf tho, unless it specifically comes up, i don't see tristan dressing him down abt this or anything, like...he believes in chivalry etc but he also believes in decorum and doesn't regard another family's conduct as his business unless someone asks him to intervene or it starts impacting ppl outside of that family or someone's legit gonna get hurt so like...yeah!! but tristan will just see him and think 'this is a boy when what that family needs a man' in his internal dialogue

the upside is that this will def make tristan behave in a more generous manner towards finn's sisters bc he feels like they could def use every kindness they can get!!! but yeah the downside is that he does not have a ton of respect for finn *facepalm* but yeah i don't really see him gambling w finn or anything either! he's def more a walk in the fresh air for fun kinda guy (im sorry to tell you this but i can ~def see tristan becoming a bird watcher in a modern au or smth smdh) laksjdfkljsdjf both of them @ e/o like 'you think that's fun??' lkajsdfkljsdjkf

god what a family the calainons are lkjasdfkljdksjfasdf but yeah, objectively speaking, godfrey is DEF the fun sibling!!!!!! (despite the apocalyptic plots) lkajdsfkljsdkjf and then amira and tristan are holding down the opposite poles of like...tristan: 'i only use my sleight of hand and witchcraft-knowledge and lock picking abilities for good' and amira like 'and i only use mine for evil!...i meant fun' jk jk (but only kinda SOB) no, but tristan is honestly like...frankly overcompensating for like lying and cheating and stealing and such as a lil kid! he's ashamed of his conduct and tryna recover from it, and recover his sense of being a good person, etc (and then there's amira whose ~glad she did it and seduced a powerful man into betraying his wife so that she could kill her and take her place, to boot! and not only glad, but kinda proud! l;akdjsfkljdsf) but yeah!! he def overcompensates!

like, w/o that bg i def think he'd enjoy an innocent card game! that would be fun! the gambling he might not really wanna do in any real/big way anyway tbqh, but as it is he's like 'cards make me think of those fake ~tarot-reading~ gambits we used to run so i could cut ppl's purses, while amira distracted them and godfrey took their proper payment and boxed them in, so i could steal from them and leave them thus stranded and penniless in a place where they were ~def in actual danger, frankly, and what might have become of those poor souls bc of my actions still haunts me' and the fact that they did it to avoid starving doesn't really make him feel any better bc they are v much NOT starving ~now, and if it took destroying other lives to preserve theirs, did they really deserve to be preserved etc etc etc (he tortures himself w this stuff constantly no lie! fun times crew!) so yeah!! tristan def does noT know how to have fun!!!!! he lowkey feels like he doesn't deserve it! godfrey: 'lighten up! this is precisely why you'll never be apocalyptic!messiah material!' tristan: '...wait what?!'

i ~can see him quietly advising him to maybe ~not have another drink/stop gambling for now/maybe lay off whatever tho if he's like sloppy drunk/in unpayable debt territory to rough companions and tristan's reading this situation as smth abt to escalate to like violence or whatever (bc thanks to experience i think he ~does have pr good radar for that laksjdfkljsdf) so yeah if in that kinda situation finn is like 'time to do the opposite!' i can actually see these two getting caught in a series of bizarre situations together and both being like 'oh god now i gotta deal w ~this guy' bc the situation doesn't really allow them to separate since tristan can't just leave a drunk guy to get beat up and finn can't really run bc again he's drunk and has to lean on tristan for support in order to get away from that dude whose starting a bar fight over all the money he lost or whatever smdh klsdfjaklsdjfsdf idk but this relationship just feels like a madcap comedy waiting to happen im realizing lakjsdflkjad;f

OOC | Tristan & Finn

so, similar to what i said [ to fiona ], i think kingsguard and rebels are probs on a collision course in future, but i do think these two probs interact even now bc i think tristan probs sometimes has the shift of guarding alaric when he goes to lorcan, etc

i do think tristan probs thinks finn needs to ~try a lil harder/buck up ngl lakjsdflkjsdfjsdf tristan def believes in knighthood and so boozing and gambling is noT it!!! tristan grew up w a lot of roderick's bs, but he also believes that w power comes responsibility, so if ur gonna be a man in a society that empowers men over women, you've ~got to live up to that!!! and chivalry is the only way!!! and so yeah finn's behavior leaves him nonplussed at best and disgruntled at worst, like if he ever encounters him actively drunk or whatever when his sisters have to rely on him esp w such an epic fail for an older brother (someone of whom tristan thinks even ~less) alksdjfkljdsfj

[sunntownn]

TFP OC: Blair!

Sixteen year old Blair lives in Seattle within the broken foster care system, going from home to home and never staying for more than two weeks. She studies and practices witchcraft.

When sneaking out of her current foster parent's apartment in the middle of the night to meet up with some school friends at an abandoned work site, she discovers a small fraction of Dark Energon.

She adds the crystal to her small collection and continues about her life. Later, when she adds the crystal to a set of custom earrings and continues to wear them daily does she discover an alien diety, Unicron, speaking to her.

When the Decepticon Leader, Megatron, feels a third presence while the blood of Unicon runs through his veins, he sends a team to uncover the bot who is using dark energon, only for them to return with a human child that has a knack for witchcraft and a love of crystals.

Blair, feeling like an outcast in every home she visits, wishes to stay with the cons and learn more about their history- specifically their God, Unicron. Hoping she can build a "found family" among the cons and to have the ability to freely practice spells, mixing herbs, potions, and light candles on the shrines of the Gods she worships.

The cons see this as an opportunity for a tactical advantage, take it apon themselves to adopt the human child and make her an honorary member of the Decepticon cause - obviously manipulating the poor kid into believing in their cause.

During the duration of TFP seasons 1 & 2 the cons enroll Blair in Jasper Navada's High School, where she is finishing her education while keeping a close eye on the Autobot's human allies.

Plus a doodle of megs im very proud of,,

[dracowars]

Hello! i was wondering if u could do a draco imagine where the reader & draco are prefects and they started to have feelings for each other and they both love to tease each other!! im bad at explaing things but i hope that made sense :) love ur writing btw <3

perfect prefect | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x reader

word count: 1,8k

summary: where y/n and draco love to tease each other

a/n: i hope you like this and that it lives up to your expectations <3

warnings: none

universe: harry potter

Like a shadow you move as quietly as possible through the dark corridors of the big School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, always careful not to be seen by anyone or to not directly walk into someone. You work your way through Hogwarts and its millions of angled hallways, walking close to the brick walls until you finally reach the stairs leading down to the dungeons and you carefully stride them down.

Just before you get downstairs, you suddenly hear a loud meow in the distance and hurriedly run up the stairs again and hide behind the closest corner, pressing your body firmly against the cold wall, holding your breath.

Carefully looking around the corner with your head, you can see the mean caretaker Filch walking up the stairs with his cat Mrs. Norris in the dark. Filch suspiciously looks in your direction through the straight and long corridor, holding up his dim lantern. Immediately, you pull your head back with a jerk, but thankfully hear his loud footsteps vanish in the distance as he goes away from your current position.

Just when you are about to breathe a sigh of relief and step out of your cover, it meows right in front of your feet, causing you to take a step back in shock.

Mrs. Norris is sitting right in front of you and angrily glares at you through her yellowish eyes while she meows louder and louder to draw her owner's attention to herself. The footsteps that had become quieter a short time before are now getting louder and closer by each second that passes.

Just before Filch is about to turn the corner and you are already preparing yourself for the worst, out of nowhere a hand covers your mouth from behind and pulls you back. Everything blurs in front of your eyes for a moment and when you have a clear view again, you are no longer in the corridor, but in an empty classroom.

Startled, you turn around, ready to fight your attacker, when you realize that the person is only your beloved friend, Draco Malfoy.

"Bloody hell, Draco! You scared me to death!", you sigh out loud, your hand on top of your heart which is pounding hard against your chest.

"But I saved you from Filch and his filthy animal", he proudly exclaims. "Without my help you would probably be on your way to Dumbledore by now."

"I am a prefect. He would probably have thought that I was doing my nightly rounds around Hogwarts and not that I was on my way to meet a certain someone", you defend yourself since you do not want to admit that he actually saved you from expulsion.

"Is this certain someone coincidentally incredibly good looking and does that certain someone have eyes in which you can lose yourself and see the star- Ouch!", he cries out loudly as you loosely slap his upper arm, walking past him to the door of the classroom to get out of there.

"That description does not apply to him at all. I am afraid I have to destroy your dreams", you tease him, a playful smile playing around your lips while you straighten the skirt of your uniform.

"Well, if so, then good luck strutting through the corridors on your own without getting caught", Draco shrugs nonchalantly and gives you a look you cannot quite interpret as he is now the one to walk past you, reaching the door before you can. Turning around to look over your shoulder from behind, you feel his hot breath against your neck.

"But when you have reached your desired destination, you will unfortunately not meet this certain someone, because this certain someone currently has to continue patrolling the hallways", he whispers in your ear, but cannot stop himself from giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you."

Quickly, you turn around and grab his wrist as he was just about to open the door, preventing him from leaving. With a devious grin he looks at you, silently waiting for you to say something.

"Stop it, you dumbass", you roll your eyes in playful annoyance and gently pull him closer to you, your faces now only inches apart. Draco's gaze switches between your beautiful, shimmering eyes to your full lips as he suddenly leans in and you close your eyes automatically.

You already feel Draco's breath against your lips when all of a sudden the door to the classroom is opened and Draco jumps away, quickly hiding you behind him, protecting you from the person that is now stepping into the room at this moment.

"Draco?"

"Blaise?"

"What are you doing in here? Shouldn't you be checking the corridors?", Blaise asks him reproachfully and does not seem to have noticed you until you peek over Draco's shoulder and his eyes widen as he spots you.

"Oh, I see. So that is what you are doing in here. Gross", he says, disgusted, and grimaces accordingly. "Then I will not bother you two any longer-"

"Stop, Blaise! It is not like that!", you interrupt him and come out from behind Draco's back, pretending that there wasn't always something between you and Draco that everyone already knew about before you did yourself.

Blaise nods understandingly, but something on his face tells you that he does not believe a single word you just told him. Nevertheless, he says goodbye and leaves the room again, leaving Draco and you in an uncomfortable silence.

"That was close", Draco breathes out heavily and gently takes your smaller hand in his own. "Let us get out of here as well. I will take you back to your dormitory."

Turning around and wanting to pull you with him, he goes to the door but you do not move, which is why he looks back at you irritated, a big question mark over his head as to why you are not following him.

"I do not want to go", you say, barely audible, and look straight into his gray eyes. "We do not see each other very much lately and now that we have finally made it, you quickly want to get rid of me again. If you do not want to spend time with me anymore, then why don't you just tell me, Draco?"

"What are you even talking about, Y/N? You know that it is not true", Draco assures you, putting his hand on your temple, pulling your head towards him to place a kiss on your forehead. "I like you. Like a lot. I like you more than you know. How about we walk around together and you tell me about your week?"

Your face overflowing with joy, you nod in agreement and a happy smile forms on both of your faces. Draco takes your hand back in his and leads the way out of the empty classroom and into the corridor, but not without checking first that Filch or his cat are not coming around the corner at any moment.

You walk next to each other in silence for a few minutes until Draco finally speaks up as you walk down the stairs to the first floor, your hands still intertwined.

"Actually, you know, I should have deducted house points from you for your naughty nightly excursion", he tells you, looking straight ahead, but you can clearly see the grin on his lips regardless. Offended, you hit his upper arm again, this time a little bit harder than before.

"Very funny, you wag", you giggle softly. "If it wasn't for you, I would not have gotten out of my cozy and warm bed in the first place."

"So you are saying that you are doing all of this just for me?"

"Of course, Draco."

"How do I deserve this?", he abruptly stops you as you have reached the bottom of the stairs and wraps his hands around your waist. Your arms sneak around his neck by themselves and you do your best to fake a real looking thoughtful face.

"Because you are such an incredibly great and responsible prefect", you explain with a smile, but he just shakes his head in disappointment, probably expecting you to say something else, and breaks the eye contact, focusing his gaze to the ground.

"Have you ever doubted that? Who else should become head boy in our seventh year if not me?", he covers up his disappointment, questioningly raising one of his eyebrows at you.

"You?", you snort and move away from him, covering your mouth with your hand to prevent yourself from laughing too loud. Draco give you a extremely offended look while you are busy with keeping your laughing fit as quiet as possible.

"What is so funny!?"

"Oh, it is just.. Who is the one here that is always so extraordinary friendly to the first years? Like the one time last year when-"

"Okay, okay!", he interrupts your ramblings by putting his hand over your mouth. However, he is still not able to stop your giggling. "Can you please shut up?"

"I am in favor of Blaise becoming the head boy anyway. He is really good at what he does", you continue to tease the poor platinum haired boy and he rolls his eyes, this time literally, annoyed and continues on his patrol without you.

"Wait! Hold up! Where are you going?", you call after him before you catch up with him again. Because his facial expression, or rather his pout, already gives it away, you do not even have to ask what is wrong.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy. Are you jealous?"

"You wish."

"So you are", you whisper, more to yourself than to him, and stop in your tracks as he keeps walking.

"Hey, do not walk away like this!", you command and put your hand on his shoulder so that he actually comes to a stop. "You did not really take my words seriously, did you?"

Draco sighs dejectedly and lowers his head, but you are quick to put your hand under his chin and guide it up to make him look at you.

"Come on, Draco. You know I did not mean it. I actually think you are a great prefect and that you will become an even better head boy", you smile at him while you fix his green tie with your other hand, your cheeks a little bit red from being so close to him. "I always stand behind you."

Shyly making eye contact with him again, you notice the small smile on his lips and in the next moment you suddenly feel his tender lips pressed against your. He puts so much emotion into the kiss and your heart is about to jump out of your chest as he abruptly stops.

"I love you", he whispers against your lips after breaking the kiss. "I always did."

"I love you too", you smile blissfully happy, although he himself had known for a long time already. "My perfect prefect."

[no-fandom-just-me]

hello, my name is river. this is a blog about my life, i guess, as i've been through some things and my sister suggested it.

in general, some important things to know about me are listed below

im a minor in the US

im pagan (very knew to the understanding. my sister is also pagan, and she's helping me understand more.)

im queer, and use she/her pronouns

it is very likely that i am autistic. it runs in my family, and many of my close family members are. i currently do not have the opportunity to get diagnosed.

i'm a huge nerd, obsessed with video games, robotics, literature, and am a tech intern for my school.

if i ever post something and don't tag it with a tw when it needs one, feel free to tell me. i am awful at remembering what needs to be tagged, and need a reminder sometimes :]

here is my DNI list as i try to keep my corner of the internet as inclusive as possible:

terfs/serfs

racists

white supremacists

homophobes/transphobes

republicans

anti-pagan/anti-witchcraft

radical christains who will (attempt) to tell me i'm "wrong" (i've had bad experiences)

literally anyone who thrives off of hate, i don't need that here

if you are my sister and come across this blog, do NOT make yourself known, please.

anyone else who finds this, welcome, i guess. and sit back, relax, and enjoy whatever it is that my life is :]

[admiringlove]

IX: aparecium; an incantation to always remember.

— you finally read all the other pages of his diary.

+pairing: miya atsumu x reader.

+genre: crossover(hq x hp); fluff; angst; frenemies to lovers.

+word count: 2.9k.

+warnings: FLUFF!! pls, if i don’t put fluff, some of my moots would cry(*cough* ray).

+usual customers(taglist): @babyworld @renee1414 @anotherhydrangea @seita @tobiosnoelle @weebslxt @tsukkiwaifu16 @loveusandoor @kozumebri @sarawrz @crackheadsara @kyuudere @cultsax @supernovaa-a @akaashikeijisan @b3llo-there @sugasloverr @kagebunshiin @tetsurolls @velvetfireworks @kritiiiii @1wai@seijohlogy​ @sweetrosemilktea @bellesowl @ems1des​ @akaashi-todorki @sakuric​ @irishhbamb​ @sweetsamus​ @cherriechurros @mxshimoo @bluebirdandcomrades @zukuroo @denki-core @sarahvvictoria​ @littlevoxine

+author’s notes: this is the last chapter(im def not sad) BUT i will be writing bonus parts!!

+navigation: previous, masterlist,.

You stand in front of your apartment, sighing as you close your eyes, making your way inside your bedroom and begin to pick up the cardboard boxes with the help of your wand, moving them outside into the living room for someone(who is quite late, yet again) to take to your new home.

You tie your hair up, fixing your overcoat a little as you sigh, making your way to the smallest box, placed in the corner of the room. Just by looking at the stamp on top of it, you smile. 

The memories of your time at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

You carefully sit on your knees, your plaid skirt riding up just a smidge, as you open the carton in front of you. 

To say that it was filled up completely was an understatement because right now, a few books and photographs fell out onto your lap, making you chuckle. You picked up the photographs, settling with your back against the wall and your legs stretching out, as you looked through them one by one. 

The first one—one of your graduation ceremony, standing next to Shimizu Kiyoko(the current owner of the most popular Quidditch shop in London) who was beaming vividly at the camera with you, holding up your wands as a gesture that you had finally done it. Something that seemed almost insurmountable when you first started school, and now? You all were content, happy with your lives. 

The second photograph was one from the third year, your first time in Hogsmeade. You were in The Three Broomsticks, and a mustache of the froth from the butterbeer had formed atop your lips. Behind you, a certain fox pointed and laughed his guts out. 

The next picture was from the Shrieking Shack—where all of your friends had ditched the second last day of school and spent the whole day drinking and reminiscing the past seven years of nostalgic happiness. A boy held your hand with the fondest look in his carob orbs, and you returned it. 

You gingerly took the three photos, storing them in the photo album that had also fallen out of the box in the process of you opening it. Smiling, you took out some more mementos. 

Your broomstick, the Nimbus 2001, sat at the bottom, but you excitedly removed it and placed it on the ground, saying, "Up!"

It almost made it to your hand but fell down upon grazing your fingertips. You pouted, blaming the number of years it had passed since you had played Quidditch. Peering into the box as you placed the broomstick aside, you found something even funnier. 

Cheap, piss colored hair-dye that was almost ten-years-old. 

You chuckled, looking at it playfully as you opened the top of the bottle. The disgusting odor that came from it made you grunt as you immediately placed the cap back on top, never desiring to touch that thing ever again. And once more, you placed the item in your hand to the side, looking into the box to find more things that reminded you of your happiest years. 

You couldn't believe your eyes at what sat at the bottom of the carton. 

An empty notebook with a soft leather cover, with a grey quill by its side, sitting there and ridiculing you. 

You blinked twice, making sure what you were seeing was real. Hell, you even rubbed your eyes until you could see mindless patterns in the dark. You opened your eyes, the patterns making themselves sort of visible in plain sight, disappearing after a few milliseconds when you grabbed the brown book in front of you and whispered with your wand in hand, "Aparecium."

September 2, 20**.

I don’t know what I’m doing at this point. It’s been 3 years since I started loving her.  When I saw her walk into the train today, umm, yesterday cause it’s past 2 AM now… I felt so happy?? I mean, I know I tease her and all, she’s quite amazing. She’s got the brains for it all and insults me back even when I say something stupid.  I really dunno. 3 years and I’ve made 0 progress. I seriously need to re-think my decision about my love for this girl 'cause 'Samu says there’s no chance she loves me back. Dunno if I’ll be able to stop my feelings, though. I’ve liked her since my second year. Damn me, for being such a lovesick puppy.  And to think I colored my hair for her too. [Y/N] called it piss-colored. Out of all things, why the fuck would ya compare somebody’s hair to piss? That’s utterly disgusting. I wonder where [L/N] gets these dumb ideas. Damn her, that slug. Anyways, I have class in a couple hours. G'night. 

'Tsumu. 

You immediately let out a hearty laugh, flipping to the next page when you remembered a certain encounter with the boy who wrote the diary. The day he told you he loved you, by the infamous Black Lake, he spoke of this particular page. He said that he addressed the nightly trips around Hogwarts, about how much he longs to be yours, about his happiness when he sees you, and your snarky comments that are just as, if not more, witty than his. 

September 4, 20**

Today was the third day of school. Also my first trip around Hogwarts with [Y/N] under my invisibility cloak. We snuck into the kitchens and got ourselves steak pies and treacle tarts, and then went to the Astronomy Tower where we ate them while laughing about nothing in particular. I love these little trips. They make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Dunno how to put it into words, but I really like spending time with her alone. It makes me really really really happy. I wish that someday, maybe when I'm all grown up and play for a known Quidditch Team and she's a DADA professor, we are still like this. Going around to aimless places, eating food, and laughing about the old times(or anything really, I just want to be with her even when I'm older). And just like always, she doesn't fail to throw dumb comebacks at me. I can't help but chuckle at them, because sometimes they really are offensive. Well, looks like it's time to hit the hay now, so g'night. 

'Tsumu.

You gasp as the page comes to an end, a hand on your mouth. He wasn't wrong when he said he wrote about you. You smile as a tear runs down your cheek as you flip to a random page this time, and you realize that it's written in his sixth year of Hogwarts. 

December 23, 20**

I stayed back for Christmas break this year and my dorm is all empty. So is hers, because she says she didn't want to go back home at all until the summer. I feel bad for her gran, that woman must feel lonely. 

You giggled at the line, grinning because you remember your grandma sending you a Howler, which yelled at you in the empty dorm-room for not coming home for the holidays. She said she missed you, and that your grandfather's health was deteriorating. She had also said that she knew why you didn't come back, and that it was okay, because she understood that you couldn't see another loved one go. The Howler ended on a sorrowful note, but everything eased back into its place because you remember the writer of the diary in your hands being there to comfort you when a dreaded letter came in after the holidays. You continued reading where you left off, wiping away the new wave of tears that had emerged from the memories.

Yesterday, me and [Y/N] went around the castle under the invisibility cloak I gave her. It was fun because I always get to see this little smile on her face that only shows up during these trips. We also went to the forbidden section of the library just because we wanted to look at a few spells that are probably illegal. I did accidentally kill a rat practicing the second unforgivable curse, and [Y/N] helped me hide all the evidence by feeding the dead rat to the Hippogriff she had found in the Forbidden Forest. I swear, if someone saw the way I did the spell and couldn't stop until [Y/N] threw Expelliarmus at me, they would throw me in the deepest pin in Azkaban and I'd probably never be able to see [Y/N] again. Anyway, I have to go back out for dinner now. G'night.

'Tsumu.

You, again, laughed at the man's childishness. You recollect distinctly how scared he was, that he had almost pissed his pants in the Courtyard that night. You had assured him that nothing would go wrong and that your lips were completely sealed, because he was your friend of course, so you had quickly formulated a plan to help him. And yet again, you flip to a new page, one from the fifth year this time. 

July 15, 20**

 I hate this part every year. Ever since my third year, it sickens me to come back home for summer. I can't see her because she lives in Lambeth while I'm in Westminster with my posh family. It makes me a little angry sometimes that my family is well-known in the wizarding world because this means my summers are filled with whatever my parents want me to do. The train ride back home was definitely not quiet. It was so chaotic(mostly because of the constant bickering between me and [Y/N]) and Kita-san yelled at us at the end. That was the first time I've ever seen him get angry, so he was either really fed up or we were being too dumb. Anyway, I'm gonna miss Hogwarts a lot for the next month or so, because after that I get to see her again. Honestly? Can't wait for the sixth year. I hope she grows taller, because right now, she's quite the midget. I'll write her a letter or two, but I probably won't send all of them. G'night for now. 

'Tsumu.

You continue reading it all. Page by page, parchment by parchment, word by word, letter by letter until you finally get to the last page. The one he wrote on the graduation day, where he says that he wants to marry you someday. But you don't get to read it just yet, because he walks into the room with his booming voice and boyish grin.

"[Y/N]! Sorry I'm late, sweetheart! I apparated back home as fast as I could 'cause Coach saw me slack off a lil-"

"So ya actually read it all, huh?" he smirks, walking up to you and crouching down next to you, "Ah, the last page, have ya read it yet?"

"Not the last one," you smile, "—if only I'd read these sooner, we wouldn't have gone through all that mindless drama in seventh year, right?"

"Eh, 'twas kinda worth it in the end," he shrugs, sitting down next to you and placing his thumb on your chin, "Love, you've been crying?"

You shook your head lightly, letting out a small chuckle which to him sounded like the sweetest melody on the face on the planet, "Tears of joy, 'Tsumu. You were a cute teenager in love."

He smiles with his teeth on display, his fading blonde hair falling on his face with perfection as he whispers, "Only for you, darling."

"I'm glad," you mutter, closing in and placing a ghost of a kiss on his lips when you realize, "Wait, shit! We have to take all of this to the House! I'm supposed to leave for Hogwarts tonight!"

"Kiss me first, then we'll talk."

"'Tsumu, you really didn't have to come all the way to Hogwarts to drop me off," you giggle, as the yellow-haired man intertwines his fingers with yours quietly, giggling along with you as he says, "Hey, now yer students get to see yer hot boyfriend that you've been with for the past eight years."

"My stupid boyfriend that did a lot of illegal things in school. You're not exactly a good influence, you know," you mumble, earning a little offended open-mouth Atsumu walking alongside you to your quarters. He continues faking the vexed expression, a hand on his heart as he says, "How could ya wound me like this, baby?" 

"I love you though, so it's justified," you say, opening the door and placing your trunk by the bed. He closes the door, leaning on it with his arms crossed over his chest as you set up your things in the room. When you turned around, you saw Atsumu looking at you with the most enamored look in his clove-infused eyes. You sighed, your shoulders immediately relaxing when your orbs land on him by the door. You step towards him, your beige trench coat trailing behind as you wrap your arms around his very muscular figure(now that he's a part of Nottingham Jackals as a Beater). 

"You're going to leave, aren't you?" you mumble against his chest softly, as he chuckles out, "Yer lucky ya get to stay in Hogwarts when I'm gone. Everything's gonna remind ya of me."

Before you open your mouth to retort, your boyfriend says, "Don't worry, slug. I'll send ya letters everyday. And I'll come to meet ya twice a month. Maybe you can even let me meet yer students."

"'Tsumu, no-"

"Imagine! Children and teenagers, all of 'em love me to death. They'll love yer class, even more, when you make me meet 'em!" he exclaims, his eyes filled with curiosity, "Also, also! What about the third years? I wanna be there when the boggart lesson goes on-"

"'Tsumu, no. The school won't allow it. Although, my students do come and ask about you a lot because they like your Quidditch playing skills. They're not idiots like me, they won't fall in love with your stupid personality," you chuckle, pulling away from the hug, but still holding his arms with yours. He pouts, pulling you into a soft kiss, but immediately pulling away and winking at you, "I'm gonna see ya in a few weeks. Maybe I'll take ya on a date to Hogsmeade again, we can sneak into the Shrieking Shack again under that invisibility cloak."

"'Tsumu, I'm a teacher, not a student!" you laugh, but he simply says, "If anything, that gives us an excuse!"

Miya Atsumu never expected you to be agitatedly running around in your green-room, trying to find things for your hair and make-up. He chuckles lightly because all the other people in the room can do is shake their heads and sigh at your frantic state. Your maid-of-honor, Kiyoko, tried to calm you down about half an hour ago, but it was to no avail. 

Atsumu sent Kiyoko a knowing glance, to which she and all the other bridesmaids stepped outside for just a minute. 

"[Y/N]," he says, his voice low but still soothing. You stop in your tracks, turning around and gasping as you looked at him—clad in sweatpants and a white shirt—and widened your eyes. 

"Dummy, you aren't supposed to see me just yet! Go away and wait at the altar!" you yell, walking over to him and attempting to shove him outside the room. 

Emphasis on the word, 'attempting'. 

"You look exactly like what you are right now, a slug. So listen to me, love. I need to give ya something before you start stressin' out all over again," Atsumu murmurs, placing his hands on your shoulders tenderly as he pulls out a book with a leather cover and hands it to you. 

You sigh, picking it up as you sit down by the vanity. Atsumu looms behind you, crouching down to whisper next to your ears, "Love, open the last page, will ya?"

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, turning your head to look at him with exasperation. He places a peck to your cheek, humming indulgently as an indicator for you to continue as he instructed. You sigh again, shoulders drooping low as you turn over the book and open it, and muttering, "Aparecium."

July 2, 20**.

I want to marry [L/N] [Y/N] someday. 

Miya Atsumu. 

From the last day of the seventh year, and Atsumu continues to explain to you that during the train ride back home when all of you were sleeping, was when he wrote the last entry of his diary, and never opened it again. Because he knew, that he meant every word scribbled on every page. 

You sat there, listening to the man with the messy faded blonde hair, losing yourself in his perfect brown eyes all over again. You felt as if you were diving deep into an ocean of pure chocolate, the sweetness and the slight bitterness getting the best of you as you drown—but voluntarily, because drowning was your intention. 

"I love you, Atsumu," you say out of nowhere, cutting him off. He stops abruptly, his eyes growing wide and his mouth forming into a pout. His lips form into the brightest smile ever, as if the rays of a thousand suns meeting at one point. His boyish grin melts your heart, as he presses his lips to your forehead and says, "I love you more, darling. Now, take a breather, will ya?"

"Oh, and before I go. Don't disappoint me today, slug. I've been waiting to do this for the past eleven years."

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i’m not crying. yes.