#im coming home newcastle

[torch-the-throne]

The G in Gary Neville stands for Gordon Girlie I guess

[sammyfenderr]

I Love you

This is my first fic 🙈. I’ve been a Sam Fender fan for years but never had the confidence to post anything myself. I’m a massive fan of lots of writers on here @17-goingunder @theborders @the-leveller @jhangelface0523 (and many more) and they’ve all inspired me to try myself. I hope you enjoy!!

Friends to Lovers

Y/n was a shy girl. Never one to be outspoken in a group setting and certainly not one to be confident in her own skin. She struggled with her body image and with socialising with people she didn’t know too well. However, despite these so called ‘flaws’, she was kind. Her eyes had a warmth to them and when you looked into them, you felt at home. Without knowing, she had a capability to make people feel safe and good.

Sam had secretly admired her for years. She was in the same year as him in school and after Sixth Form Y/N had cemented herself well into their friendship group. Sam thought she was the prettiest girl out there. He loved how much SHE loved, how she constantly put others before herself and how her heart was just the purest. The crease between her eyebrows when she laughed and the twinkle in her eyes when she was faced with cute cat videos were little quirks he was enamoured by.

However, Y/n was far too self conscious to let herself believe anyone like Sam would be interested in her. She had been there through all his previous girlfriends, secretly earning to be them, wishing she could be the one being comforted by Sam when drunk, getting songs written about her or better still, getting random kisses and hugs from him just because he could. But she never verbalised these desires and so Sam never felt he was in the position to express to her how much he loved her. It was a vicious cycle and it was inevitable to catch up on them.

——————————————————————————

“Y/n!!”

Urgh. There it was. That sickly sweet voice Y/n had grew to hate so much.

Leah was Sam’s newest girlfriend. He’d met her a couple months back on a night out in Newcastle and they’d been going out for about 4 months. There was nothing wrong about her. She seemed sweet and made Sam happy, but that’s what made Y/n secretly resent her more.

“We were just talking about you!”

“All good things I hope” Y/n joked in jest.

“Is that a new top you’re wearing?”, the blonde girl asked.

“Erm no it isn’t actually, it was me Mams in the 90s, she let me borrow it.”

“Aw, cute”, a slight trace of a patronising tone in her voice.

“Sam was just saying how you’ve finally found a new job. Took you long enough! Anyone would think you’ve just been living off this lots money!!”

Woah. You could tell she was drunk, but she’d never been this confrontational with you before.

“LEAH.” Sam snapped. He looked mortified.

Y/n’s cheeks had flushed bright red and she began to recoil in on herself.

“Leah, what the fuck?” Dean said.

You were so confused, where had all this come from? Sure, you and Leah were never the best of friends but you also were never enemies.

“Oh calm down would yous, it was only a joke!” she declared.

But you didn’t find it funny, and Sam could tell. You were very self conscious about the fact all your friends now had money and you were still struggling to get ends to meet. You never asked anyone for help financially, but Sam new you struggled and would always be conscious never to make you feel uncomfortable because of it.

“Leah, where did that come from? You know Y/n has never taken advantage of any of us!”, the geordie blonde boy seethed.

“Oh give over, none of you can take a joke. I’m going to the toilet.”

Y/n wanted the ground to swallow her up. She hated attention, and currently everyone was staring at her. All she could think about was the quickest route to leave.

“Y/n Im so sorry I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”, Sam apologised. The look of guilt written all across his face.

“Don’t be daft,” Y/n stated, “I’m sure she meant nothing by it.”

Sam wasn’t so sure though. He’d had constant arguments in last few weeks with Leah about Y/n. Leah felt threatened by her and Sam’s relationship, and so she expressed that by declaring to Sam she didn’t like Y/n a few weeks back. She also felt like Sam cared more for Y/n then her. To make matters worst, Sam couldn’t console her on this. He loved Y/n and if it came to it, he’d pick her, every time.

——————————————————————————

An hour later and Y/n was outside the pub having a cig to calm her nerves. She was still so embarrassed from earlier but she didn’t make a fuss, just sat with her friends and pretended nothing had happened. Inside it had ruined her though, she needed a few minutes outside to just compose herself before she faced Leah again.

“May a join you?” a familiar voice filled her ears.

Subconsciously, a smile plastered its self across Y/n’s face and her rapidly beating heart began to slow. Sam was the only person who made her feel like this.

She quickly nodded her head and he took a seat next to her, his scent drowning out everything else. He was just perfect.

For a couple moments they sat in silence, just enjoying one another’s company. They were the type of friends who could do this and it wouldn’t be awkward. The warmth radiating off him was addictive and Y/n couldn’t resit her desire to be closer, deciding to rest her tired head upon his shoulder.

She was slowing starting to feel more calm and like herself until a sob could be heard from the blonde man sitting next to her.

Y/n’s head whipped round and she felt her heart shatter from the sight in front of her. His eyes looked desperate for some comfort and his body was pitifully shaking. She couldn’t take it, seeing the one person she truly loved being so broken and vulnerable.

“Oh Sammy. Come here”

He didn’t need to be told twice. His head soon buried itself into her neck and he clung onto her like his life depended on it.

Y/n had never seen him like this before. So heartbroken and inconsolable. It was torturous. His sobs were harsh and he was struggling for breath, his salty tears were soaking themselves into Y/n’s top and his hands had become white from how hard he was clinging onto his girl.

“Oh my darling, please talk to me. Tell me what you need.” Y/n whispered comfortingly.

“I need you.” was all the man said.

Y/n’s eyes began to tear up at his confession and subsequently she began to rock him side to side, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

“Baby tell me what’s the matter, please. I hate seeing you like this and not knowing how to help you.”

“Erm..” Sam started, “Well…” he was struggling and Y/n could tell. She placed a sweet kiss on his cheek, a sign telling him to keep going, she was there for him.

“I hate how Leah treated you earlier and I hate how she clearly made you feel. You’re the best person in my life and I’ll be damned if I let anyone, especially a girlfriend, treat my best friend anything less than the princess she is.”

Y/n was speechless. Did he really care for her that much?

“Truth be told, I’ve always admired you. Thought you were the kindest, cleverest, prettiest girl I knew and I think Leah knew that deep down. But I’ve been too scared to do anything about it. I always thought you’d never feel that way about me so I’d get myself another girl who wasn’t half as interesting as you, but would be interested in me.”

What the hell was going on?! Surely Sam didn’t feel the same way about Y/n as she did for him.

“Anyway I’m rambling. The point is, I’ve just broken up with Leah.”

WHAT.

“I know it’s probably a shitty thing to do it so quickly and in such a public place but I couldn’t take it anymore. She didn’t make me happy and I didn’t really want her like I wanted you.” his voice noticeably got quieter at the end of his little speech, but Y/n heard loud and clear.

“And I’m not expecting you to feel the same way or to even say anything back to me, I just want you to know that’s it’s always been you. It always has been, and always will be.”

It was music to Y/n’s ears. That’s all she’d ever wanted to hear, right from the first day she saw him she was captivated and she knew she’d never fall out of his spell. Everything about him was perfect; his goofy smile, sensitive nature, immature humour and incredible musical talent. Y/n was in awe of him and always wished she could be good enough for him. Little had she known though, it was exactly Y/n’s humble and kind nature that had made Sam equally fall for her.

“Sam… i don’t know what to say” Y/n’s voice trembled. And before she could wipe the tears that began to pour down her face, Sam was wiping them away with the pads of his thumbs, kissing away sweetly at the tears on her cheek.

“I’ve always wanted you.”

Now it was Sam’s turn to be stunned.

“From the moment I saw you I knew I’d never love anyone the way I loved you. You were just perfect and so I never let myself believe I could ever have you because, how could someone so good love someone like me.” Y/n confessed.

“Oh Y/n, you have no idea what you mean to me. You are the best person I know and I promise, if you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making you see yourself the way I see you.”

“Fuck, you have no idea how much I want that, Sammy.” You spoke through tears of joy.

And before Y/n could think another thought, his forehead rested upon hers and he bumped his nose against her little button one, a silent question of consent asking her if he could get closer. She smiled and nodded gently.

Suddenly his sweet lips began to press against hers. He started slowly and softly, testing the waters, before the pair let there passion take over and they kissed each other like they’d been so desperate to do since the very first day. Tears were spilling out both their eyes, it was just perfect. All she could feel was him, and all he could feel was her and that was all they wanted for the rest of their lives.

——————————————————————— ——

Arghhh. I hope this was ok?! Please let me know your feedback!!

[theseareregularthoughts]

not to be that person that harps on about how drastically graves is mischaracterized but that's exactly what im doing so.

don't read if you don't want to i guess ?? soapbox speak ahead

i think it's important to emphasize this is a grown man with a dick and balls and not a child but this should be common knowledge so im not gonna linger on it. do i think graves liked the task force, pre-betrayal? maybe held some modicum of affection for them? i'd say he was indifferent. he's a professional who makes his money in self-interest. do i think he spent weeks after the events of the Alone mission torn up with guilt over what he did? fuck no. his hands were tied, sure, but graves has a PMC to fund. the interests of him and his come first. moreover, shadow company was canonically in HORRENDOUS debt. shepherd's money was essential to keeping graves' operation on its feet. this really only reinforces my point about him being self serving, but it's interesting information nonetheless.

graves is not racist. he's a man who has lived in the deep south for the majority of his life. his accent, naturally, is incredibly prominent. to label him as a racist because he struggles to pronounce words correctly because of that- i don't know what to tell you, other than to urge you to go outside and talk to real people. anyone with an accent which noticeably affects their speech patterns, from anywhere in the world (to use examples close to home, scots and inverness, northerners and newcastle) will struggle to correctly pronounce words in another language. it is common sense.

the way graves' sexuality is handled irritates me. do i think graves is straight? not in a month of sundays. do i think that it's funny when people call him a twink? also no. graves' character is marketed as a caricature of machismo. his thing is being stereotypically masculine. that goes against the very definition of the word twink (used to describe an effeminate gay man). it's reductive to both the language used and the character.

i have a lot of personal headcanons related to graves which inform the way i see his character, which everyone is free to disagree with. i think he was divorced once and never really came out to anyone as... anything. it's not part of his work, not a part of his life he truly has reason to be concerned with. work aside, i believe he was raised in a hardcore southern baptist family. do i believe he was tortured with religious guilt? no. do i think he was tortured by the way he would be perceived by others- his subordinates, his family, his friends, strangers on the street he doesn't know- if he were to subscribe to a label, instead? yes. i think to make him a caricature of religious guilt is stereotypical of where he was raised and doesn't take into account possible character growth.

to make graves the perfect partner in any ship is a personal choice, but do i think that he would be? no. graves makes his work his primary concern. his work-life balance is abysmal. based on in-game coverage, he has an assertive attitude to conflict and will engage if he thinks he has the ability to win the altercation. graves picks his battles based on what he can win, not a fabricated morality or ethics structure- to expect him to argue fairly in any disagreement is a moot point. do i think he'd be a stable partner? also no. he's the type to throw previous concerns you had about the relationship back in your face during an argument. i think he lacks accountability in fields not related to his work, where the work itself keeps him accountable.

many many thoughts about this man guys but im not sure what the character limit on posts is so.

[hardynwa]

Liverpool beat stubborn Burnley to go top of EPL

Burnley goalkeeper James Trafford might have had a man of tue performance, but it will be Liverpool who goes home with the three points.  Liverpool dominated the first half with Burnley being thankful to their goalkeeper who kept them in the game.  Although James Trafford had an outstanding game, he could not stop Darwin Nunez from ending his goal drought.  Goals from Cody Gakpo and Harvey Elliot were both ruled out by the Video Assistant Referee while Salah hit the woodwork in half that Liverpool could have sealed the game.  A regroup Burnley kept Liverpool at bay im the second half with the visitors failing to register a shot most of the half.  Substitute Diogo Jota who was returning from injury sealed the game for Liverpool with a fine finish after a backheel pass from Luiz Diaz.  Liverpool will now go top of the table with Arsenal playing West Ham on Thursday.  Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp cast a frustrating figure all through the game, but will be happy his team was able to get the job done after two consecutive draws against Manchester United and Arsenal.  Liverpool’s only loss in the Premier League has come in the controversial game against Tottenham, there next game will be at home against Newcastle who lost against Nottingham Forest today.  Read the full article

[post-futurism]

it’s a listening to fleece by crystal castles kind of night

[elmflowers]

Make the PMMN superhero post. Do it

fuckin bet lets go

obvious one: superman/clark kent and madoka kaname

both represent the platonic ideal of hope and both are sort of protected by the plot wherein they will always "win" in the end bc of how they represent hope in the story. what makes it interesting is how they "win", what gets sacrificed along the way (madoka sacrificing her individuality and "humanity" for a greater good and superman being the loneliest being on earth and constantly putting himself in danger and as this icon rather than human, despite clark kent very much being Human)

batman/bruce wayne and homura akemi

other than the clear gay parallels between madohomu and superbat, homura and batman are people who have suffered significant loss and have great love within their hearts, which they use to protect people they love. bruce is strongly motivated by his parent's death + catholic guilt despite being half jew half probably protestant what happened there buddy and homura her catholic guilt upbringing + idolized bestie death combo. both characters are somewhat jaded and not necessarily the pure platonic ideal of hope their bestie personifies, but if you look at them for a little bit, you go, "Oh shit, these bitches are bleeding hearts". also how they interact with their gay partner i mean best friend, wherein batman sees superman as hope and what gives him the ability to keep going because if there's someone as good as him can exist then its worth it, while homura pinpoints madoka as her motivation to keep going, tunneling her vision and essentially being the only reason she still tries to save people and live.

green lantern/hal jordan and sayaka miki

both want to be heroes but are in a system wherein they are exploited using their drive to do good. hal jordan became a poster child for the green lantern corp and basically trapped in this cycle of illusion of choice wherein he supposedly! can quit, but no hes has to keep coming back. he slowly loses touch with his "humanity" (ie his home, his friends, his hobbies, etc) and it gets replaced with his job (literal icon of marx's theory of alienation). sayaka miki wants to be a magical girl because she wants to help other people and save them, she wants to do good and thats in contrast to the fact that being a magical girl does separate her from her "humanity" (her soul got fucking ripped out) and that she does not feel like she will ever be good enough because she is a flawed person (girl youre 13 youre going to have flaws). both are driven to a point wherein their roles are separating them from what they feel as their humanity that they succumb to despair after a final break (for hal jordan his home town coast city being fucking vaporized while he was off world and for sayaka hitomi going out with kyousuke) that makes them realize how fucked everything is and they cant handle it anymore. sayaka becomes oktavia and hal becomes parallax.

john constantine and kyoko sakura

okay im breaking a rule, constantine is a dc character but not necessarily a hero. lol. lmao. anyways

both have fucked up in the past and made a serious mistake that does not allow them to go back to who they were before (constantine in newcastle, kyoko with her wish). they are both jaded people who act tough and seem like they only look out for themselves, but routinely go out of their way to help others because they are inherently good people. theyre both kind of assholes in their own way and also both seriously hotheaded. both are also extremely experienced within their area of expertise.

nightwing/dick grayson and mami tomoe

iconic eldest daughter syndrome kids. pushes a face of happy go lucky vaguely mature and cheerful persona and hides their flaws like theyre going to fucking die if anyone sees that they arent necessarily perfect. incredibly fucked up past. a deep fear that influences a lot of their actions (dick does not want to turn out like bruce did, mami does not want people to leave her as she is a deeply insecure individual). has guilt complexes miles, miles wide. dead parents. both deeply insecure. go eldest daughters!

the jonker from sanic 2 and Cube

just little guys who committed so many crimes

[gallusrostromegalus]

So my sister has spent less than a week in Newcastle and has befriended the local Infamous Australian Magpies by leaving water out for them.  It’s gotten to the point where the parents of a teenage Magpie know when she has class, and start screaming outside the door for water within 5 minutes of her coming home or getting up, and leave thier fledgling on her deck while they go forage. 

They also saw her spray bottle the neighborhood cat off her deck so they know she’s a good babysitter.  

“IM 26!!” she wails over facebook “IM TOO YOUNG TO BE A FOSTER PARENT! I DON’T EVEN KNOW BIRD CPR IM NOT QUALIFIED”

[siserary933043]

Caravan of love

God I need a cigarette! I gasped as I collapsed, exhausted, at the top of the small mountain my team had just hiked up in the Lake District.

Youre supposed to be setting us a good example. Khalid laughed as he flopped down next to me quickly followed by his two schoolmates.

Fu…To Hell with that! I laughed, I deserve one after a walk like that.

Still laughing at me puffing and panting the boys whispered something, then Khalid turned to me and asked nervously; Do you really want a smoke?

I was supposed to have given up…but…yes… at this minute I would absolutely love one. I replied.

Jonny, he turned to his friend, give her one.

Id love to; but will a fag do? The good looking teenager giggled.

When the penny dropped that Khalid had made an innuendo the laughter got even louder.

You boys will get me the sack! I chided them as I took the cigarette from the packet. Jonny knelt beside me as he lit it in his best James Bond manner.

Youre leaving anyway, the other boy, Fletcher, corrected me.

He was correct; this was my last day as a teacher in the UK and I was only doing this course as a favour to the Headmaster.

Im Nina and Im a 25yr old supply teacher in the North of England. Because I was sick of not knowing which school Id be at from one week to the next I was catching a train home to Bishop Stortford the next afternoon after Id safely put my three teenage charges on the coach home to Newcastle. Id been at this school 7 times in the last three years and had developed a good reputation among the pupils and staff, but knew that there was no chance that Id ever get a full-time job.

Every year twelve schools from the Newcastle area take part in an outward bound competition in the Lake District spread over four days. The Headmaster at Ponteland Comprehensive, where Id been teaching since January, was desperate for his school to do well for once; but Mr. Winnet who was meant to be in charge of a team of four had hurt his back so I was corralled into spending four days climbing hills, canoeing, orienteering and walking through rivers with three hormonally challenged 15 year olds while getting paid for it!

I already knew the three boys in the team from my time as their stand-in Maths teacher and hadnt had any real problems with them; even though they were all from the notorious Darras Hall Estate. These three were regarded as ‘saveable by the Headmaster and the course was their reward for 100% attendance and working hard.

Im a naturally sporty type of girl; so with my help and leadership we had been ‘neck and neck with Scotswood Grammar School and climbing this hill in the fastest time meant that we were the Champions!

Youd better finish that quick, miss! Jonny shouted, Walker Academy is nearly here.

Khalid and I took a last puff from our cigarettes and made a drama out of stubbing them out and wafting away the tell-tale smell of smoke, although there was a gale nearly blowing us away.

I grinned and shook my head when I read the sticker on the boys caravan door – ‘If the caravans a-rockin; dont come aknockin! Hardly appropriate for a group of schoolboys; I thought.

Whats going on here? I asked as I suspiciously sniffed the air in their caravan when I went to collect them to go to the evening meal and presentation.

Nothing, Miss. They all chimed in unison.

If thats what I think it is, you really will get me sacked. I tried not to grin as I definitely smelt dope in the air.

The boys didnt admit to anything and we made our way across the muddy field to the main building. It was quite a distance as we had been allocated two caravans at the far end of a large field; the other schools had large tents closer to the main building and toilet block.

You look nice miss. Khalid told me as we walked past the other schools tents.

Thank you, I smiled in appreciation, a girl never knows what her luck will be like in a place like this.

I did actually; even though I was wearing a nice short denim skirt and a fitted zip-up hooded top there was absolutely no way I was going to pull on my last night as an English school teacher. The best looking guy was obviously gay and the other teachers and the instructors all looked down their noses at my team as they were from a rough council estate that didnt fit into their ‘elite club.

After dinner and the short ceremony we tried to mingle with some of the other teams but when I had to stop Jonny from hitting a taller boy from Scotswood I thought that a tactical retreat was called for.

Have you got any of that stuff left that I didnt smell earlier? I asked Khalid as I pinned Jonny to the wall as a teacher from Jesmond led a whimpering boy away claiming that Jonny was ‘going to kill him.

He nervously looked at Jonny who was their natural leader; then nodded nervously, Why Miss?

I think that this young man needs to relax and, if memory serves me right, that should do the trick!

Youre cool, Miss, Fletcher told me, with a lop-sided grin, for a teacher!

I asked what he meant by that and the boys all told me why they liked me above all of the other teachers as we wandered back to their caravan.

The boys were being trusted not to wreck the van as they should have been chaperoned by Mr Winnet but he had got the train home earlier in the day.

As Khalid unlocked the door he turned and grinned, Weve got some booze too!

Why am I not surprised? I chuckled as I took a seat in the middle of the bay window.

Khalid brought his large rucksack in from the bedroom as Jonny produced a tin with 5 spliffs in it from his.

I shook my head in mild disbelief as they poured large measures of vodka into tumblers and topped it up with coke from the ceremony.

Where did this come from? I asked as I put the glass to my lips, I know you didnt bring it with you; we checked your bags.

This morning; when you were putting Winnet on the train, he grinned mischievously, I robbed two bottles and some cider out of the shop over the road.

The boys let out a cheer as I shook my head in mock disbelief.

Jonny opened his tin and offered me one of the spliffs.

Id rather have a ciggie if someone has one. I shrugged my shoulders, Ill have one of those later!

As we sipped the vodka and coke the boys bombarded me with questions: ‘Did I have a boyfriend? ‘Why was I leaving? ‘What was my home town like? ‘What was university like? ‘Had I ever taken drugs? ‘Did I have any tattoos or piercings?

It was fun talking to them and I tried to be as honest as possible as they genuinely wanted to know what life was like away from their town. I admitted to smoking dope and occasionally dropping a couple of Es and I had three tattoos; showing them the Angel on my shoulder and the Celtic design on my lower back but letting them guess where the other one was.

When Id finished my large glass of vodka and coke we all lit up the spliffs…WOW…Id forgotten how good that stuff could be and how powerful.

My head was spinning when Fletcher handed me a second large glass of vodka.

My legs were now curled underneath and I began asking about their lives. It wasnt long before they started talking about girls.

As the drink and dope began to take effect we were all in a giggly mood and the boys became braver as they talked about the girls and other female teachers in very personal terms.

I began by admitting to being quite wild at University but not actually telling them exactly what Id done – just letting them guess; which was fun.

The boys quickly became excited when I didnt blush or rein them in so their questions soon became very sexy and personal.

‘Did I play with myself? ‘Did I use sex toys? ‘Had I ever been with another girl? ‘Had I ever seen a porn film? ‘Do you suck cock, Miss?

Without hesitating I replied, Yes or of course, to just about everything.

The boys were all grinning and had twinkles in their eyes as they continued asking me about my sex life and confessed to all sorts of things that theyd been getting up to with the girls at school who Id previously thought relatively innocent! How wrong I was!

Jonny told me that Nadia gave the best blow-jobs because her tongue was pierced but Carly would let them cum on her face.

Apparently at least five girls in 5c, including both Thompson twins, had shaved their pubes off! I couldnt remember if I even had pubes at that age!

Their dirty language and descriptions were now making me very, very horny and I was beginning to think I should leave them as I really needed to frig myself.

What do girls think about when they play with themselves? Fletcher asked.

All sorts, I guess. I answered then took a draw on the last spliff that Khalid had passed to me.

Like fantasies? he continued.

Yes, I raised my eyebrows in mock amazement, girls have sexy fantasies just like guys.

All three looked genuinely amazed and it was only then that I remembered how young and immature they really were.

So what are your fantasies Miss? Jonny asked me.

Ooh, I couldnt possibly say. I said as coyly as possible.

I nearly gave the game away when Khalid immediately started talking about him and his elder brother roasting a girl as her 15th birthday present.

By this time I was permanently squirming in my seat and I was sure that Jonny and Khalid were looking up my skirt and could see my red panties. They certainly made no attempt to hide their bulges that where poking through their jogging pants as they moved into the corner of the sofa for a clearer look.

.

Im going to have to go for a wank now! Jonny snorted as he thrust his hands inside his pants and finally adjusted his hard dick. I uncurled my legs to make myself more comfortable; making sure that they got an unobstructed flash of my soaking knickers and hopefully some of my gash as I knew my pussy would be sucking the gusset in.

Would you like me to do that for you? I smiled.

The poor kid didnt know what to do or say.

Im serious, I beamed, as I took another slurp of vodka, do you want me to wank you off?

The boys nervously looked at each other, unable to comprehend what Id just said.

I manoeuvred until I was kneeling on the sofa and facing the 15 year old schoolboys.

Oh come on guys, I pleaded as I slowly unzipped my top, youve got to know how horny youve made me.

The boys were still silent but now grinning madly.

Ill show you mine if youll show me yours. I giggled as I took my top off then seductively cupped and stroked my tits through my pale blue lacy Wonderbra.

Ive always had nice tits…no thats not quite right…I have fucking lovely tits…everyone says so! They are medium sized (32b), firm and pliable clay and my nipples poke up to the sky. They have passed ‘the pencil test several times!

Jonny shrugged his shoulders and pulled the waistband of his pants down with one hand and waved his prick at me with the other.

Mmmm, that looks nice. I purred as I unhooked my bra and let it fall to the caravan floor. Do you like my tits?

The boys nervously nodded. Jonny and Khalid were still in front of me but Fletcher was sitting slightly behind getting a good view of my arse as well as a side view of my tits.

Get your cocks out and Ill show you my tattoo! I teased as I unbuttoned the side of my skirt.

Khalid quickly whipped his out closely followed by Fletcher. Their cocks looked gorgeous; Khalids was about 6 inches long and quite thick and a lot darker than his olive skin – I couldnt wait to suck it! Jonnys was about the same length but not as fat and Fletchers was short and fat – just like him.

I could feel the sweat running down my back as I stood up and let my skirt fall to the floor. The boys couldnt take their eyes off me as I slowly pulled the front of my knickers down so that they could see my hairy pie and my little red devil tattoo but not quite everything.

I dropped my chin onto my chest, fluttered my eyelashes as innocently as possible and told them, Well, Ive seen yours…would you like to see mine?

Fuck yes! Fletcher gasped as he stroked his cock. Actually they were all slowly masturbating in a well practiced manner. Thats another thing about me…I love watching guys play with themselves…as long as there is some left for me.

It took a tug to prize my knickers out of my sticky pussy but Khalids jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw the long string of juice that was stuck to the gusset!

I slowly looked around the caravan at my three students. They were like putty in my hands as they devoured my naked body with their eyes – they were going to be my sexual play-things for the rest of the night.

Do you still want me to …wank you off? I suggestively licked my lips and met Jonnys gaze, or would you like me suck it?

Ooh, Miss…suck me off…PLEASE MISS! Jonny pleaded.

I rested my knee on the seat and leant forward, jiggling my tits for him when I gently wrapped my fingers around his hot pink shaft. Perhaps it was stage-fright but it wasnt as hard now as when he had first flashed it at me; but I would soon put that right.

Does that feel good? I asked. The boy grinned and nodded. Lets see if the Teachers better at sucking cocks than her pupils?

Ahughaghaghooohhh. He groaned when I covered his swollen plum and kept on pushing until his squishy cock filled my mouth and my chin touched his hairy bollocks.

God his young cock tasted lovely…all hot and sweaty just how I like them. Years of practice came in useful as I began fucking his cock with my mouth as I breathed through my nose. Just as I hoped it instantly began to stiffen and filled my mouth so I had to eventually let most of it glide out so I could suck him comfortably and stroke his shaft and balls.

My head was spinning as I put on a show for his friends; slurping and sucking his dick like a porn actress.

Squeeze my tits! I whispered in between slurps.

Jonny slid his hand around my neck and began caressing my breast; making me gasp when he touched the nipple.

Squeeze them harder! I pleaded, Dig your fingers into my tits!

Oh fuck! he gasped but obeyed, digging his nails into my flesh and shaking my puppies like a kitten with a ball of wool.

When I felt his balls tighten and his breathing became shallower I tightly gripped the base of his shaft and making sure my breath engulfed his knob I looked up into his glazed eyes.

Miss! Im cumming! He warned me, MISS! My balls are aching…Im cumming!

Do you want to cum on the Teachers face? I teased Youd like that wouldnt you? Spunking all over her face!

Yes, yes, yes! He winced and manically nodded his head as I flicked my tongue across his japs-eye.

Go on then, I whispered as I furiously rubbed his shaft and aimed his piss-hole at my face.

I too was now squealing with delight as he tried to pull my nipple out of its roots when the first jet of hot teenage spunk splashed across my face, then another and the third landed in my eye.

Oh God! Oh fucking God…Miss! He gasped as I sucked the last dregs of salty spunk out of his cock.

Delirious with desire I raised myself up onto my feet. As his spunk dripped down my face I asked, Who wants to be next?

Me Miss! Me Miss! Fletcher shouted as he raised his arm in the air for attention, forgetting that he wasnt in class.

I picked my knickers off the floor and wiped the excess cum off my face then lay down next to him with my face in his lap.

His short stubby cock looked lovely as I licked some bitter pre-cum out of his tip.

As I stroked his cock I turned to the other two, I need one of you to lick my cunt.

They both looked shocked that Id used the C word. It hadnt dawned on me that the boys and I had probably used every other word in the dictionary during our sexy chat but at this moment in time it wasnt a vagina or a pussy between my legs it was a CUNT a hot and horny CUNT that needed a good tonguing.

Jonny instantly knelt on the floor and pulled my legs apart; staring at my hot pink gash.

Ive never done this before, Miss. What do I do? He looked at me excitedly.

Just lick it like its an ice cream then, I told him as I pulled the sticky flaps apart to expose my clitoris which was sticking out like a third nipple, then flick your tongue like crazy over that.

Ill try my best miss. He said in a soft voice. Even the boys calling me ‘Miss was becoming such a fucking turn-on!

Oooooohhhhh yeesssss! I moaned when he made his tongue glide up my groove.

He was a fucking natural; his untrained tongue lapped up my love juices and he sucked on my labia as his fingers stroked and caressed the inside of my thighs and the crack of my arse.

After a minute or so I bent over to greedily eat Fletchers fat prick. We moaned and groaned in unison as his cock fit perfectly into my mouth and Jonnys tongue fit perfectly into my sopping cunt.

Yeh….yeh…yeh…yeh! Fletcher kept gasping as he twirled my around his fingers as my mouth created a vacuum around his dick.

Without using words I made him spread his legs so I could get a tight grip on his hairless sack while I bobbed my head and swirled my tongue around the purple knob.

Oohya! I yelped when Jonnys tongue suddenly touched my clit making me jump and I let the cock slip out of my mouth.

YES….YES…YES! I cried out, Finger me! Finger me!

Jonny dutifully poked my twat with a long middle finger giving me a little bit of relief as I returned to my oral administrations on his fat friend.

Fletcher grabbed two handfuls of hair and began bouncing in his seat as he fucked my mouth. I met each thrust with a bob of my head as Jonny did wonderful things to my cunt and clit with his fingers and tongue.

My whole body seemed to convulse as I gave and received oral at both ends.

Aaaaaggghhh! Fletcher gasped as he neared orgasm.

More fingers! I shouted to Jonny as my own fingers furiously wanked the fat cock until it showered my face with thick lumpy spunk.

He inserted a second then a third finger and viciously licked my throbbing clit until I panted for air then WOW!!!! A mind blowing orgasm flooded my body. I didnt scream or cry out like I usually do…I just grinned myself silly as the sweetest feeling in the world engulfed my whole being as Fletcher covered my lips with solid globules of sticky cum.

My orgasm left me shattered so I flopped back against the cushions and gently stroked my tingling cunt for their amusement.

Khalid was now standing naked in the middle of the floor stroking a stiffy that looked like it was going to burst.

Come here baby, I whispered and patted the cushion nearest my head, and Teacher will take care of that ache for you!

He didnt need telling twice and was soon waving his dark uncut cock in front of my face. I couldnt wait either and immediately filled my mouth with my third rock hard teenage cock.

My tits…my tits! I moaned, Do what Jonny did and squeeze Teachers titties for her…nice and hard…hurt me!

His hairy olive fingers were soon mauling my mounds as I sucked his dark pipe for him.

Oh yes…thats good! I grunted with a mouth full of cock as he stretched my pink rosebud nipples as far as they would go, making me suck the life out of his young dong.

As the third boy to get his cock sucked I knew that he wouldnt last as long as the others and I was right. Khalid soon grabbed my head and forced his long thin dick past my tonsils and came straight into the back of my throat and down my neck.

I was now insatiable and judging by the three hard cocks that were in front of me so were they!

Now… fuck me! I called to Jonny as I lay flat on my back and spread my legs for my young lover, curling one ankle over the back cushion so that my hairy cunt was on show to the whole world.

With a huge grin on his face he knelt between my splayed legs and eagerly guided his six inches of throbbing cock into my willing hole.

Ooohhh yes baby! I panted as his cock filled me up, does that feel good fucking your teacher?

Yes Miss it does, he chuckled as he began thrusting his hips and forcing his cock into my belly, Its fucking…fucking amazing!

My head was shaking from side to side and I was playing with my over sensitive tits as Jonny proved to me that he hadnt been lying about fucking lots of girls at his tender age…he was quite a swordsman.

Fuck her mouth, Jonny told the others, one of you fuck her mouth…lets roast her!

The smile on my face would have lit up London when Khalid suddenly appeared next to my face and forced his cock past my lips for a second time.

I was in raptures as Jonny forced my legs back until my knees touched my tits making his long thick cock tickle the inside of my belly and the darker boy grasped two large handfuls of my mousey brown hair as he wildly fucked my mouth and throat. All I had to do was lie back and enjoy it as they now treat me as their sexual plaything for nearly fifteen minutes.

Jonny hadnt cum and sweat was pouring from his face when Fletcher begged him ‘for a go!

Okay, he panted, but Im not finished with her.He had hardly pulled his cock out when Fletcher lunged forward.

Wait! I gasped as I pushed Khalid away from my face, let me get on top…I want to cum again.

I positioned Fletcher so he was sitting on the sofa and I straddled him. His thick cock felt wonderful as it stretched my aching cunt. I quickly accustomed myself to his girth and rocked backwards and forward rubbing my clit against his pubic bone as I squashed my tits against his face.

The other two wandered off and opened the bottle of cider as I fucked their fat friend within an inch of his life!

No matter what I did to him; I couldnt cum. I bounced on his cock, I ground down hard, I twisted and rotated, I fucked him fast and I fucked him slow – nothing! I kept getting close but nothing.

I was becoming desperate when I spotted Jonny and Khalid whispering conspiratorially; then giggling like the teenagers that they were.

Jonny stood on the sofa and edged towards me waving his flaccid cock in front of my face. I didnt need asking twice and hungrily gobbled his young meat as I bounced on the fat cock in my cunt.

Id been with two guys at University once and had dreamt of doing it again; never dreaming that it would be with school kids; but tonight it seemed so much sexier and dirtier than in my fantasies; especially because they called it ‘spit-roasting.

If fucking and sucking two cocks was exciting Khalid soon moved the action up a gear!

As I ground my pussy down onto Fletchers cock Khalid began shaking my tits with one hand and stroking and nipping my arse with his other.

Go on. Jonny urged him as he held my head while I sucked and licked his rock hard shaft.

Khalid nervously ran a finger between my arse cheeks and hovered a finger tip over my anus as he rolled my nipple between his fingers then tugged on it just the way I liked.

Go on! Jonny was becoming agitated, Shes not stopping you, is she?

Without any warning he jabbed a bony finger past my sphincter and about in inch or more slid inside my arse making me gasp…with pleasure!

Ugh…ugh…good. I gurgled.

I fucking told you she would like it! Jonny admonished his young friend. Khalid soon realised that I was enjoying having his finger up my arse while the other two ‘roasted me he soon began twisting my nipples and finger fucking my arse with two fingers.

Fletcher broke off from suckling my tit to ask; have you ever been water-tight Miss?

What? I asked as Jonny sat on the top of the cushion watching the action.

Airtight you dozy cunt! The good looking boy laughed, Airtight!

I shook my head and raised my eyebrows to let him know I still didnt know what he meant.

There was a look of surprise then delight on his face as he told me; you take three cocks at once…one in each hole.

Id never heard of such a thing but the crazy grin on my face must have told him that I wanted to try it…NOW!

Right…get up bollocks face, Jonny said as he slapped Fletcher on the shoulder, lets change places.

We took a moment or two to decide who was going where and which would be the most comfortable way to perform this lewd sexual act.

As I gulped down a belly full of cool cider, we agreed that I would fuck Jonny, suck Fletcher and because he had the thinnest cock; Khalid would be the first to fuck my arse!

I was shaking with excitement as I fed Jonnys 6 inches into my well fucked cunt. When I was comfortable Khalid lined the tip of his dick against my puckered anus and spit a gobful of saliva between my cheeks as lubrication. I clung onto Jonny as Khalid slowly worked his cock into my virgin arse-hole.

Agh…ugh…ooh! I grunted through gritted teeth as my arse felt as if it was being torn in two.

Oh shit! The boys gasped in unison.

I can feel your fucking dick touching mine! Jonny giggled as only a thin membrane separated to hard cocks inside my body.

After making sure that the boys wouldnt budge I slowly rotated my hips and gently moved my arse so that their cocks moved a little bit as I became acclimatised to the feeling of being full beyond belief.

Okay, I nervously told them, but be gentle with me.

Thankfully Jonnys position meant that he couldnt be as forceful as he would have liked to be and my arsehole was too tight for Khalid to fuck too fast so I was soon nearly hallucinating with sexual elation.

After a couple of minutes I began to relax and the three of us began moving with a bit more freedom making me groan and moan and gasp and giggle with gratification.

Now…now! I gasped and nodded to Fletcher, Im ready…make me airtight!

Fletcher shuffled along the sofa and placed his purple knob on my bottom lip. I nodded my head and his fat cock stretched my mouth and jaw.

I snorted and gagged but I wasnt going to stop now! I could feel my poop-chute stretch and loosen up with every thrust from Khalid and the more relaxed I became the harder Jonny banged his cock into my cunt from down below.

Fireworks were soon going off in my head and clitoris as I began spontaneously orgasming. Little ones, big ones, short ones long ones…one after another untilI was just hanging on to the boys…like a limp rag.

Yes…yes…YES! Khalid wheezed as he rammed his dick into my arse like a fucking piston then suddenly stopped as he filled my shit-hole with his cream. His cock came out of my arse a lot easier than it went in!

Get off me! Jonny demanded as soon as the other boy stepped away. I want to fuck

your arse.

He virtually pushed me away in his haste to bugger me. As soon as he was standing behind me he forced me back onto my knees and spread my cheeks to view his friends handiwork.

Oh man, he exhaled noisily, that looks so fucking sweet…look… your spunks still coming out!

I was now trembling with anticipation as Jonny tentatively nudged his fat cockhead against my tingling anus. Khalid had stretched my poop-chute but Jonnys cock was definitely fatter and it still wasnt that easy for him to get his knob past my sphincter.

Aaaaahhhgggggg! I howled as he finally plunged his dick into my arse. As soon as the knob entered the rest just slid in like greased lightening. AaaaaaAAAGGGGHHHHHH you bastard! I screamed again when he began fucking my arse as hard as he had my cunt, but it didnt stop him.

I was biting my lip and had my face buried into a cushion to stifle the pain as he pummelled my arse with his thick six inches. The pain was becoming unbearable and electrifying so I didnt want him to stop.

Oh Jonny, Jonny, Jonny!I cried with tears of joy running down my face, Harder baby…harder…fuck my arse…fuck the teachers arse!

The teenager was now grunting like a wild animal as he revelled in the discomfort he was causing me.

Thats it…yes…yes…yes! he groaned as he speeded up just before he too filled my anal cavity with lovely teenage spunk.

When he withdrew his cock I could feel my hole gaping open and the overflowing spunk running down my thighs.

Its your turn now. Jonny wheezed and pushed Fletcher with the extra wide cock forward.

My arse was already stinging from the two buggerings Id just had but when Fletch pushed his fat mushroom in I gasped and felt like Id died and gone to Heaven. This boy was in no hurry and fucked my arse very slowly – each stroke nearly turning it inside out.

Oh baby, baby, I whined, that feels so fucking good. Youre making Teachers arse very, very sore and I fucking love it!

As the other two boys sat in front of me taking it in turns to feed their cocks into my mouth I panted, Thats it…faster…faster…fill my arse with your hot spunk…go on do it!

Hearing my husky voice sent him over the top and I felt my arse get warmer as he filled it with hot spunk.

Over the next hour or so the boys fucked me in every combination imaginable.

When I eventually collapsed, exhausted on the floor, my arse had been fucked ragged and my cunt was nearly worn out and my jaw was aching so much I could hardly speak; but I didnt care…this was the fucking of a fucking lifetime.

Id heard about the staying power of young boys but…shit… these boys were out of this fucking world.

I could hardly move the next morning when I woke up in a sleeping bag next to Jonny. I pulled on my top and skirt and hobbled to the shower block like John Wayne after a 200 mile horse ride.

I stood shivering with aches and pains under the hot shower; hardly able to wash myself as I relived the previous evenings events over and over and over again in my head.Pangs of guilt struck me as I got dressed in my tiny caravan but I reminded myself that the boys had promised to keep what we did a secret (hardly likely – I know) and after all in five days I would be on the other side of the world starting a new life in New Zealand.

https://www.superbestaudiofriends.org/index.php?members/olevridis.10679/#info

[torch-the-throne]

Guide to Troubled Birds but make it Tony G

[quindolyn]

I could only be bothered to do james today (i might send in the others tomorrow. This is extremely all over the place but that’s okay so am I.

-is so good at just dance and gets very into it like doing the dance moves perfectly.

-mums love him they always think he is so charming.

-loves doing the conga and the macarena remus strongly regrets introducing him to them.

-prefers orange juice to apple juice.

-had broken his arms 11 times before fifth year.

-he hates porridge with a passion.

-used to use excessive amounts of lynx africa until he was 13.

-once broke one of sirius’ hair products and cried so much he couldn’t even tell remus what was wrong all he could say was “im so sorry” over and over.

-him and sirius talk about their dicks all tue time.

-the first time he got properly drunk he pissed himself trying to climb the stairs.

-once said that he would fuck the queen.

-he is very scared of the dark.

-can do so many accents (mainly regional like the cockney and newcastle accents).

-has some very weird catchphrases that have no context and make no sense.

-“crotch slapping fun”

-“knives and spoons, more like a fork!”

-“you aren’t half a storage box”

-has tried on multiple occasions to become a rapper.

-has broke his collar bone while attempting to do the worm (he saw remus do it and was so jealous).

-loves abba and knows all the words to every song.

-is a cat person.

-Sick anon

Sick anon I bow down to you. Wanna get a cat with Jamie and come home to it asleep on his chest and he refuses to get up because he doesn’t wanna wake it up

[fmlfpl]

GW21 Teams

alon transfers (for -4): vardy, bamford, and mitchell out for dcl, rich, and stoner... trying to back myself here and go in hard for the two week everton punt of home newcastle and away leeds. hoping to spike some big hauls and then probably turn rich into antonio or something like that... also keeping pulisic was NOT part of my plans but taking an extra hit for a midfielder i’m meh on felt ridiculous. he may start, he may not start, saka has man united and arsenal have some key injuries, i figured it’s worth a roll of the dice. i believe in the player and i believe in tuchel - whether it comes off this quickly or not time will tell.

alon captain: this’ll be my third time capping the one and only jack the lad. the first time was a 15 pointer (vs. southampton) and the second time was a 1 pointer, so what does that mean for my third time? fuck if i know. he’s incredible, i love him, i love watching him, southampton are still missing a lot of their first XI and the guys who have been playing are in terrible form. i like how open i think this game will be and i expect jack to run the show as usual.

walsh transfers (for -8): bamford, werner, wan-bissaka, strujik OUT for wickham, watkins, trent, robbo -8. just whole hogging it. fuck it. getting the two guys i have been talking about wanting for a month in trent and robbo..finally. i still believe in liverpool and the fullbacks and my eyes have been telling me that the games in general are a bit shit ass so going five at the back feels good right now.

walsh captain: mo. no clue what to do and dont really love any option on my team so i'll stick with mo since im clearly a mo ultra simple boi. western ham been good...dunno really what to expect from this match...but whatevs..when in doubt cap mo used to be good so maybe it will be good again fuck if i know.

[jacnaylor]

tv recs: happy shows edition

I haven’t done this in a really long time, so here are the older editions. (If there’s overlap then I’m sorry, also these are shows that specifically make me have that cozy, happy feeling or that are comforting. all tv rec posts, including ones previously mentioning a couple of these, are here. if some of these i haven’t said as much about it’s probably because they are repeats. also there’s only so many times you can say ‘it makes me happy’)

1. The durrells (aka the durrells in corfu)

a slightly hapless, chaotic british family go and live in corfu in the 30′s. absolutely wild. there’s animals. there’s people falling in the sea. screaming out of windows. it’s fun, it’s silly, it’s gentle and gorgeous. keeley hawes is magnificent.

2. call the midwife

starting in the 50′s and now up to 1965, this follows the trials and triumphs of midwives (some of whom are nuns) in the east end. it covers hard topics as well but mostly it’s that lovely mix of sweetness, compassion and great characters. it’s really just lovely. there’s so many female characters that i love. makes you feel warm and cozy, especially the christmas episodes which air every year 

3. lewis

so this follows two police men solving crimes in oxford. they’re opposites but they end up working well together. lewis is the boss, he’s a gentle man from newcastle mourning his late wife. the young dc is james hathaway - a clever, ex priest turned police man. they ramble around, soft oboe music is playing. they solve crimes, they quote poetry. it’s not a gritty police drama. it’s a subtle show. it loves and showcases oxford. honestly i repeat: the police officers are not ‘gritty’ or ‘hard men’. they’re sad, sure, but in a nice, sensitive sort of way. they want to help people. they care. they aren’t afraid of showing emotions. hathaway talks about his faith and how it affects his work. it’s just not what you expect from a mystery show and it really is worth a watch.

4. good omens

an angel and a demon slowly become friends. they are perfectly happy living on earth, eating sushi and driving old cars. they are slightly perturbed when the anti christ is born and therefore is set to bring about the end of the world. silly, funny, beautifully shot. david tennant and michael sheen are wonderful. it’s absurd and it’s just so great and self aware. and british. 

5. gavin and stacey

one of the best british sitcoms of all time. it’s about an essex boy who falls in love with a welsh girl, and their families and friends coming together. hilarious, heartfelt, incredible. still funny to this day. one of those shows you can watch a hundred times and still find something new. like coming home.

6. derry girls

5 teenagers living in derry in the 90′s. the most chaotic group of people alive. they act like real teenagers, they love each other a lot but they also get themselves into a lot of scrapes. it’s just such a good show to bingewatch and curl up with.

7. galavant

a medieval musical comedy show. diverse cast, great songs, im so bitter it got cancelled but it got a great end so don’t worry. 

8. buzzfeed unsolved true crime and supernatural

so i wasn’t sure about this one but i adore this show so its here. it’s a youtube show with ryan begara, who definitely believes in ghosts and shane madej, who definitely doesn’t. there’s also the true crime edition. it’s HILARIOUS. it’s just these two guys talking like normal people about crimes and ghosts and its just so funny and wonderful and interesting. ryan is having a break down over an empty chair. shane is inviting demons to inhabit his body. it’s a good time.

9. anne with an e

one of the best recent period dramas. following orphan anne shirley and living with her adopted family in green gables. it has hard topics but its also about finding people you love. it’s about family, acceptance and imagination. wonderful!

10. ashes to ashes (and life on mars....i’ll explain)

life on mars is the first in two shows. it follows a police officer who is involved in a car accident and wakes up in 1973. I personally love this show but since ashes to ashes, the continuation (the sequel, if you like) has a happier feel because its set in the 80′s (and the mc is a female police officer.) ashes to ashes is funny, a bit bolshy, but its so fun. it’s a time travel/sci fi cop show that fully leans into the absurdity and is all the better for it. im my opinion it’s best to watch lom first because it’s all one big continuation of the same story. honestly it just makes me happy. 

11. miss fisher’s murder mysteries

phryne fisher, in the late 20′s is a single woman of means. she decides she wants to solve crimes and look good whilst doing it. she also flirts with a police man. her best friend is a lesbian doctor who lets her look at dead bodies. it’s honestly the best. phryne is the most charismatic lead!! includes the line “men. can’t live with them, can’t kill them with an axe.” so worth it just for that

13. great british bake off

a group of contestants bake in a tent in an effort to win the bake off. unlike american competition shows it really is about friendship and the love of baking. they all help each other out! they get very stressed about custard! gorgeous

14. hustle

cheesy, silly, fun 00′s show about a group of con men who decide to only con people who deserve it. i mean. whats not to love. it really does feel 2000s if that makes sense. in the best way. these shows aren’t focusing on being shocking or slick, it’s just telling a fun story. 

15. car share

this one is a comedy, a slice of life, a romance all in the setting of a car. it’s about two work colleagues who are made to join in their works car share initiative. it’s so funny but it’s also just. sweet. its about two normal people. they sing to the radio. they have to jump out to post cards to their nan whilst stuck in a traffic jam. it’s about them connecting and it’s just. it’s so good.

16. miranda

follows miranda, who is about 5′9 and socially incompetent in the extreme whilst she tries to navigate her chaotic life. honestly one of the loveliest shows ever made. 

bonus: the mallorca files, santa clarita diet, strictly come dancing, last tango in halifax, brooklyn nine nine, monarch of the glen

[eastenderstranscripts]

Ben: your train to newcastle leaves at six

Lola: i aint going anywhere

Ben: you and lexi, you've got to disappear

Lola: hello. come here, you ok?

Billy: she's fine, lo

Lexi: my tummy's feelings much better

Lola: good

Billy: whats going on?

Lola: nothing, its alright. thanks pops. sort it

Martin: good luck

Ben: oi. where do you think you're going?

Martin: you gave me your word

Ben: oh. what is it they say though? never trust a mitchell?

Martin: you know what? i am done playing games with you, yeah. im going to go and get stacey and my kids and bring them home. like we agreed

Ben: where is the nearest women's prison, anyways? you'd better find out seeing as thats where your kids are going to be visiting her mum for the next what, 10, 15 years? i want one of these by tomorrow night

Martin: see ya later

Ben: that wrench, the one that stacey smashed my dads head in with. the one thats got his blood, her DNA all over it. wouldn't it be a shame if it was to end up in the hands of the law? real shame

Martin: where am i going to find a motor like that? i cant just got around

Ben: yes you can. you can and you will. cos otherwise, your wife is going to be put away for a very, very long time and that will be all on your head

[joelcoen]

rules:

always repost the rules

answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

give 11 questions

tag 11 people

I was tagged by @davidfors5 thank u dani <3

1. fave character from each remake and why? nl - isa: shes so raw and an unapologetically gross young woman and i love her for it  druck - matteo: who knew so much love could be stored in a little rat.  i love well written depression representation even if it was unintentional on drucks part (im not attached to austin enough to have a favourite character lmao)

2. fave musical moment? the woman’s day clip from s2 when jonas walks through the school to blue monday. its hilarious. i also love how druck incorporated mountains through the last three clips of s3 ep 6 

3. if you could make your own season, who would it be about and what would happen? i think a kiki season would be really interesting. it would look at her struggles with her mother at home but also her relationship with carlos and what happens when you move in with someone when youre maybe a bit too young 

4. rank the sanas sana/amira/imane/imaan/zoya (ive not seen the other 2 and whats skam italia

5. fave season from each remake and why? nl - s1: it was a teen indie movie whats better. druck - s3: it was truly the most incredible ten weeks. ive never felt more in a character’s shoes with matteo  austin - s1: there was something very still about season 1 which i enjoyed

6. whats your opinion on s2? what do you like and dislike the most? which remake made the best s2? okay. objectively, season 2 is very important as it shows the highs and lows of a passionate, whirlwind romance. the way they portrayed sexual assault and an eating disorder was very real and very heavy. however. william as a character is so awful and badly written that it prevents me from rewatching the season. its like when i couldnt finish breaking bad bc i cant stand walter white. druck s2 however, incredible. imagine if william was as likeable as alex!

7. what representation would you like to see in skam? more religion! its unrealistic for there to be only member of the squad to be religious and the rest be atheist (or maybe thats me going to a catholic high school speaking). for example the day after the manchester arena bombing i attended a mutli-faith service on greys monument and it was beautiful. im not sure about the rest of the uk but that’s always been common in newcastle. (i also truly think that skam italia wasted their chance in having martino come to terms with his sexualtiy and his catholicism but hey low key lighting, a blue colour palette and saying the n word are much more important right??)

8. what country would you like to see a remake and why? as shit as it would be i honestly think that a skam uk would be hilarious. but i think it would be very good for the generation who were just too young to vote in the brexit referendum and are pretty angry with having our future decided for us by old posh twats 

9. fave head canon?  even goes to film school and eva and jonas dont break up

10. sort characters into hogwarts houses eva, even, magnus - gryffindor/ isak, sana - slytherin/ noora, jonas - ravenclaw/ vilde, chris, mahdi - hufflepuff

11. tell me your best crossover idea even and david need to become friends. maybe isak and even relocate to berlin so even can study art and media at universität der künste berlin and who’s in his class? david

11 questions: 1. what moment resonates with you the most? 2. if you could watch one clip for the first time again, which one would it be and why? 3. where is the best use of cinematography? 4. if you could change one thing about skam, what would it be? 5. what is the best monologue in the show? 6. what clip with very little to no dialogue sticks out to you most? 7. you’ve woken up in your favourite character’s shoes. what do you do for the day? 8. you’re directing a clip! who’s in it, what happens, what music do you use? what do you do to create tension and make us hate you? 9. describe skam to a new viewer in 30 words or less 10. ignore julie. what are the characters up to today? 11. what’s the most unnecessary clip?

i tag: @jonasaugustn @isakvdhflorenzi @florenzim @isaknewtons @isakvdh @lauraschreibners @als-vuur @gyenia @notskam @autisticmatteo @lesbiankeijser

[overbakedone]

1

this is the first time i've ever started writing my thoughts and feelings anywhere before. this is not easy.

instead of writing things and then deleting it all because its not good enough or it sounds stupid i'm just going to write it now and stop backspacing. i guess i should start with where i am in life right now so there is some perspective.

im 25, im a bakers apprentice, i live with my parents, i have a girlfriend, lets call her ‘C’ who for the first time feels right to me despite everything, i barely have any friends, they don't ever want to see me, i don't have much time in my life right now, i work all night and struggle to fit sleep into my schedule. but things are really the best they have ever been for me. i just started an AFL 9′s competition, weird i usually have no confidence going into these things and will either quit after the first practice or not even show up, i really kinda enjoyed it and am excited for next week.

i've wanted to start writing anything for a few months now, i guess now i have some time. time is so fucked up, i wish there was more of it, i wish i could sleep without wasting my day, i wish i didn't have to compromise sleep for everything but i do, i guess its part of being a baker, its a job i am loving and i think i've found my life passion but it has its ups and downs. my partner C expects a lot of my time i guess, she can be very needy at times, demanding almost, sometimes i feel pressured by her to sacrifice my sleep, personal plans and hobbies and interests for her, but i know what she feels, she wants the same thing i do. she has problems making friends, or keeping friends, she feels isolated and alone, and she wants my companionship, and i want that too and despite anything i feel in the moment i always feel happy about her at the end of the day.

i should be grateful for the relationship i am in right now, i really should be grateful for a lot of stuff, my parents for allowing me to stay here still, being so supportive and also allowing and accepting of me and really tolerant of the shit i do. ok so i do smoke week every day right so that's already something to do at home that's difficult, i'm pretty sure they know and don't care or even agree that my life has been better since i started smoking, fuck i used to be on antidepressants, i took one every day at a certain time, it made me feel a bit better, ok sounds just like smoking right, expect when i didn't take this pill i got nausea, headaches, severe episodes of depression, i couldn't eat my appetite was so fucked up i was eating one meal a day and it was like a piece of bread or takeaway food. since the smoking started i've found some actual passion in life, i don't feel like a useless number anymore i guess.

one of the things on my mind always is my friends, since i was in highschool i havent really had a group of friends, i feel like i am a social person but then when it comes to it i feel like i just get burned. a lot of my old friends turned out to be secretly hating me and not wanting me around, some sort of pity friendship, i was an asshole in my time and honestly was not a good friend myself, do you pay for the dumb shit you do as a teenager, the people you fuck over go from your life completely yet new people you meet do the same things to you like they know. i had/have a long term best friend, J, we had been mates for years, we worked at my old job dominoes together for a bit, and kinda hung out a few times, but not until we got into PC gaming together did we form a bond. after that we would chat every day, play games together, watch the footy together, go places even though he lived across the city from me. one thing that changed massively in my life was i quit drinking alcohol, and then i felt like all my friends both disagree with my choice and resent me for it, like for some reason i have to take the same drugs they are taking at that time to be their friends. so J has just grown more and more distant, i get that we are older now, we both have partners, jobs that take a lot of our time, but then when we hang out or talk he seems disinterested, more interested with his friends that i introduced him to (from our discord server) and has seemingly replaced me, none of these guys i really like at all, in fact the only one of the new group i like is the one girl in it because she actually has interesting things to say.

fuck that was a paragraph, i guess i should talk about alcohol.

alcohol has fucked up my life, i cant repair the mistakes and stupid things i did while drinking alcohol, so they are there, i guess its just talking about it left. to start off, when i drink alcohol i have a hard time finding my limit, i feel like i swing from nothing to completely blacked out, puking, sobbing and basically hating myself very quick, i feel sick for days after drinking, barely able to eat, leave bed, move, i feel so nauseous and tired, its so fucked up what it does to your body, but oh your mind is even worse. i've broken off relationships, cheated, threatened people, gotten into fights, brawls, got my arm broken, hurt myself repeatedly, gotten arrested and a criminal record that may prevent me from going to canada next year, and is currently delaying booking flights, ive missed work, shown up drunk same clothes no shower to work, but the main thing that alcohol does to me is makes me sad. alcohol makes me so fucking sad, it makes me reach into the deepest pits i can think of and brings out all the emotions that are in there, my ex being the main one. every time i used to drink id think of her, call her, text her, go on her facebook, look up her instagram her twitter, fuck it drive my car to her house to see if her cars there like that does anything or means anything just fucking alcohol is so stupid. i never want to feel like that again, i never want to sabotage my life, sabotage and self destruct my relationships, but i guess losing my friends is the thing i have to take in consideration. australia is a fucked up place, where drinking heavily is the social norm and if you don't get fucked up or even have a beer with mates you're a loser.

i just want a deep connection with my friends. when i was in newcastle with my partner, i  met her friends there that she had been living with, despite the fucked up things that happened to her there, she lost a lot of friends herself and a long time friend, had trouble finding new ones, trouble fitting in, the friends she had there were the most honest and truly welcoming, connecting people ive met, and i miss that. i miss having a friend you can just, go over to their place, sit around for 3-4 hours talking shit, laughing, listening to music, relaxing and sharing stories and shit. weird that people can have such an effect on you in a short time. the life i live here is full of making plans, only for them to be cancelled, inviting friends over, for nobody to show up, cancelled plans all the fucking time, i've never been asked to just come over and chill, never its always some group thing that i'm invited to as well. i even try talking to them about this, i told a group of girl friends i have, i miss you all and haven't seen you in so long, we need to have a casual hangout, and the message was almost completely ignored, i asked them all to come to mind to watch the grand final, the house was free, i got a big projector screen, big comfy couch, live central right in the middle of everyone, nobody even replied or brought it up again, yet the second someone else that lives in the far corners of perth brought it up everyone started chatting about their plan to go. so if that's not my friends making it obvious they don't want to see me, they only include me then thats fucked up. i don't know what to say, this happens all the time, my 21st birthday i invited 65 people, and less than 15 people showed up. its hard to keep trying, always trying, i always try to make social events, i always ask friends what they are doing, when they can see me, make plans, they get cancelled, they are busy, they say they're coming then don't show up, most of the time i never hear a word too, they just dont show and don't even apologize, is that a fair thing to do, yeah sometimes i dont go to my friends events, i'm too fucking tired or just don't feel like going, somethings come up, i tell them straight away i cant make it i'm sorry this has come up, yet i don't get the same courtesy.

am i an unlikable person

the guys at work seem to like me, so i started a baking apprenticeship, basically i started watching great british bake off and picked it up as a hobby, making cakes and stuff, actually i should go back. so i used to work in some shitty small software company in the city, 9-5, peak hour traffic, office drama, workplace bullies, understaffed, overworked, red tape and bullshit everywhere, i quit after 2.5 years for mental health reasons, i made a lot of money but had to move on, so i spent a year off , it was only supposed to be a few months, go on a holiday road trip with my then partner, S, she broke up with me via a text message right after eagles lost to melbourne at home, basically the footy game was more disappointing, we had a shit relationship, i think i resented her, i cheated on her, yeah i'm an awful person and deserve everything, she was an emotionally manipulative person, terrified of her own body and sex, tried to dominate my life and change me, im glad we broke up. so i stayed unemployed for a long time, over a year, barely looking, until i found this baking apprenticeship, not only did i apply for the job and write a completely custom cover letter (im so fucking lazy i usually close a job application the second it requires anything more than an apply button) AND i called back a few weeks later when i heard nothing, well turns out that call landed me the job, the apprentice they hired instead of me was useless, had no passion and was a slow worker. so i got the job, and basically have been killing it ever since, i get a lot of praise at work (lots of criticism too) baking is one of those things that takes time, its all about time, so i got a lot to learn but i am actually confident once in my life, holy shit i have a job i like and am good at. is this the dream?> lol 

so today i started writing my feelings down, and its kinda felt good, but i'm exhausted now, and my fingers hurt, so this is the end of my first post, i hope nobody reads it, its really just for me but i don't know. 

thanks for listening   i guess 

[torch-the-throne]

Guide to Troubled Magpies