#im clearly not over it bc im talking about it now but what am i supposed to do with these feelings

[cerealmonster15]

haikaveh... save me haikaveh...

i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........

i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dixiedingo]

Bahhh

[evature]

i think i will confront these ppl next time

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

thinking about how the last time reed saw ailette in the 300th, she greeted him with "and i'm still on your side," and now she's definitely not on his side. im okay im okay im okay

[bitchfendi]

ever since i started going back to therapy ive been getting in tune with my emotions but that also means that when i hear certain songs i get flashbacks to TheDarkEra

[yauchfilms]

so american ✢ max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x singer!reader

warnings: none; just some silly shit, some swearing, google translate dutch, max's home race is belgium and not the netherlands for timeline related reasons

summary: y/n is teasing way too many things at once…..can the fans keep up? 

author's note: this is NOT an original concept i am aware of this. but this hasn’t left my brain in days. i’ve got a very specific vision so let me cook. i know i haven't posted on here in over a year but i've returned an f1 fan. enjoy!

yourname added to their story! 

liked by delwatergap, maxverstappen1, and 3,491,842 others

yourname: i think i'm in love with montreal. sorry i’ve been so off the grid but i am Loving Life so hard. so much inspo in my life rn. will talk soon i promise. love u all bunches 🫶🏼🌷

ynsbestfriend: hey queen you have done it again!

-> yourname: ugh i love you so bad

user1: UM BAE WHOS THAT IN THE LAST SLIDE?

-> yourname: beats me! 

-> user1: i do not trust you. 

lilymhe: hiiiii pretty girl

-> yourname: stop im blushinggggg

user2: i fear she’s in her lover girl era 

-> user3: girl help im so fucking scared right now what’s happening

user4: so does any of this have to do with your story from yesterday??????

*liked by yourname.*

maxverstappen1 added to their story! 

yourname added to their story! 

liked by honeymoon, danielricciardo, and 3,572,679 others

yourname: life's been a beach lately. clearly i've been loathing my time in spain ://///

user5: IS THAT MAX

-> user6: no bc it HAS to be

heidiberger_: Loved spending the week with you! 🤍

-> yourname: same!!!!!! let's do it again sometime 🥰

-> user6: NOT DANNY RIC'S GF COMMENTING?????? AND LILY MUNI HE ON HER LAST POST???????

user6: no bc even if her and max were dating and she's been traveling with him why have we not seen her in the paddock

-> user7: to throw us off our rhythm????

-> user8: what if they debut at his home race in spa ijbol

liked by landonorris, taylorswift, and 4,683,892 others.

tagged: maxverstappen1, redbullracing, and ynsbestfriend

yourname: hahaha felt like dropping 2 things at once on u guys LOLLLLLLLL. thank u to redbullracing, spagrandprix, and the city of spa for letting me and my friends crash the race the other week to film the “so american” music video, and to maxie for winning in ur home country. it was so fucking special to be there supporting u. i love u baby!

ps. another thank u to max for thinking i'm the funniest person in the world and making fun of my americanness for as long as i've known him (which is quite a while).

enjoy this tune guys. it's urs forever and i hope u love it as much as i love the person it's about 🫶🏼 🇧🇪 🇳🇱 TU DU DU DU!!!!!

user9: OH NMY GOD I FUCKING KNEW I SAW U IN THE GARAGE

ynsbestfriend: thanks for letting me third wheel mommy

-> yourname: no one else i'd rather drag along!!!

danielricciardo: Welcome to the family! Song's a banger although I can't believe it's actually about Max of all people 🤢 GROSS!!

-> yourname: jealousy is a disease danny.

user10: i actually cannot fathom this this is so me core

alexandramalsaintmleux: I am so glad to know you! Your happiness is everything 🩷

liked by sabrinacarpenter, carlossainz55, and 4,783,522 others. 

tagged: yourname and ynsfriend

maxverstappen1: Spent a week away in New England with my talented, gorgeous girl. Loved getting away and experiencing America through her eyes! Consider me an honorary American now! Also, stream “So American” wherever you choose. It's about me 😉 

yourname: does this mean i can stop hiding in the garage now???

landonorris: Happy for you mate! Love the song as well yourname 🤍

-> yourname: awe thank u lando 🥺 i got more to show u when i see u next!!!!!!

redbullracing: ❤️💙

user11: MAX IS IN HIS LOVER BOY ERA

danielricciardo: How many more times can you say American?

liked by charles_leclerc, chappellroan, and 3,694,849 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourname: nothing like celebrating the best 2 weeks of my life than showing my boy around ye olde stomping grounds #soamerican

liamlawson30: This is so American of him

-> yourname: like he fits in so well!

lydianight: u'll have him in the american flag board shorts in no time

-> yourname: baby steps :///

user11: she really is in her lover girl era 🥺

clairo: did you take him to the chipotle that is also a historic landmark downtown??

-> yourname: dude of COURSE i did. he said it was "interesting"

yourname added to their story! 

[feyburner]

I loved LOVED a word, a look, will be enough. I’m obsessed with the way you write jason and tim. No pressure to answer this at all, but I was curious if you have a headcanon about how the missing spleen reveal eventually goes

Jay »

Good afternoon Timothy.

« tim

uh oh

Jay »

I just had a fascinating conversation with Doc thompson

Care to hazard a guess about what?

« tim

pollen season

Jay »

No.

« tim

bird flu

Jay »

Is there a reason you havent told anyone in your life that you dont have a fucking spleen?

« tim

okay first of all

i’m not sure why doc thompson felt the need to tell you my private medical information

pretty sure they have a rule about that

Jay »

It’s not her fault.

I mentioned that you got whammied with that stupid germ bomb from Typhoid Tony or whatever the fuck his name was

« tim

vik vyral

Jay »

And she got all serious and told me I should get you into the clinic asap, and I was like no he’s fine now, it was basically a 24 hour bug, and she was like no, theres no such thing as a 24 hour bug for him, he needs to come get his blood tested yesterday

And then she clearly realized I had no fucking clue what she was talking about and clammed up. Wouldn’t say a thing. Told me to ask you myself.

Jay »

The look she gave me when I said you slept it off and went back to work. Like I should know better. like I was letting you be careless and shit bc thats just how I am or something.

« tim

“letting” me?

Jay »

yeah. Letting you. I know you know what I mean

« tim

i’m not sure i do.

Jay »

When youre with someone you take care of them.

I dont pretend to know much about this shit but I know that.

I’m not talking about handcuffing you to the radiator. Im talking about knowing whats going on with you and knowing that sometimes you let shit slide that I wouldn’t. When it comes to you

You do that for me and the others all the time. Thats how it works.

« tim

doc thompson doesn’t know you’re “with” me

Jay »

If you think everyone doesn’t know exactly what’s going on then your detective skills need work

Jay »

Also, Jesus, Tim.

« tim

ok sorry, i didn’t mean the scare quotes part

but did you pause to consider maybe there’s a reason i haven’t told everyone other than whatever shortsighted masochistic bs you’re assuming

Jay »

I dont need you to tell everyone. I’m not asking you to write a report on it.

Just like. if there’s any other major medical shit can you maybe tell me

Before you fucking die of a sinus infection or whatever bc the asshole who lives with you didn’t know your immune system has the horsepower of a bicycle

« tim

did you know you curse more when you’re fronting like you’re not worried about me

Jay »

I’m actually not fronting! in this moment!

« tim

okay

well. i am sorry

that sounded sarcastic bc of who i am as a person

but it’s not. i mean it.

Jay »

Sorry for yelling at you

« tim

i dont wanna go into it over text but i’ll tell you tonight. okay?

about what happened.

also there’s nothing else. it’s just the spleen thing

ok?

Jay »

Okay.

« tim

well and the mango allergy

well. and i’m double jointed specifically bc i have joint-hypermobility syndrome

which is why im so flexible :)

but also why i dislocate things a lot :(

um and im mildly allergic to carrots, bananas, pineapples, and most legumes, but it’s fine they just make my tongue itch

i think that’s all

Jay »

Tim can you be honest with me for a second

« tim

yeah…

Jay »

Are you inbred

« tim

NSJDN/&2&jdj?!_£_??

Jay »

Like are you that type of rich person

You can tell me. We are not going to procreate so I dont mind either way

« tim

just scared the living shit out of an intern who had never seen me laugh before. i think she thought i was choking

jesus CHRIST

i will see you at home.

Jay »

You

didn’t answer the question….

[h4m1lt0ns]

HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.

episode five :: 99 PROBLEMS.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴max verstappen x ex!y/n

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔comeback: download has started.

fc – wonyoung jang (28)

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕none.

☆ IMESSAGE with ; BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

y/n: not to freak you guys out but i knew all along

my baby lando: FYM YOU KNEW ???

babygirl alex: y/n 😁 i swear to god

honey badger: wait

honey badger: what do you mean you knew

chili!: ????

chal eclair: ^^^^

girlfriend kika: babe

girlfriend kika: i need u to explain before pierre loses his shit bc he’s bubbling rn 🙏🏻🤍

y/n: okay hold on y’all listen

wifey lily: 👂🏻👂🏻👂🏻👂🏻

y/n: i always had this sneaking suspicion that some bullshit was going but every time i’d ask him about nothing would come of it

y/n: so i was like maybe i’m the problem 😀

y/n: then i found lipstick in our bathroom and i was like yo ??? tf is this and max said it was his sister’s

y/n: so i was like oh calm

y/n: bc victoria would come over sometimes

y/n: then i found out he cheated the first time

princess george: fIRST TIME????

angel carmen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIRST TIME

chili!: HE CHEATED MORE THAN ONCE???

chal eclair: hOLD ON YALL IM TRYNA UNDERSTAND

y/n: yes 😭

y/n: caught him on a call with her being all lovey and shit and we got in a fight bc of it

y/n: and i let it slide bc i thought he would learn + he cried his eyes out

alabono: how is HE gonna cry for cheating 😟

honey badger: WAIT

my baby lando: fuck was he crying for ???

chal eclair: he cried ??

babygirl alex: literally what

honey badger: WAIT YALL

honey badger: Y/N YOU LET THAT SLIDE ???

y/n: I USED TO LOVE HIM OKAY.

chili!: i just sighed so hard man

y/n: hold on there’s more

PIERRE GASLYYYY: MORE ??

PIERRE GASLYYYY: y/n…

my baby lando: bae what is this…

chal eclair: what else did he do then damn

y/n: the bitch was in my bed

babygirl alex: WOAHHHHHHHH

angel carmen: now hold on, hOLD ON NOW.

girlfriend kika: i screamed

honey badger: ouuuuu it’s gonna get violent rq

y/n: i found them cuddled up, clearly post fuck, in my bed, listening to my music and guess what

chili!: BRO 😭

chal eclair: WHAT OH MY GOD

my baby lando: ¿¿¿

y/n: HER KID WALKS IN BEHIND ME EATING MYYYYYYY ICE CREAM

y/n: IN MYYYYY HOUSE

princess george: see this is where i personally would’ve swung at everyone

PIERRE GASLYYYY: LISTENING TO YOUR MUSIC???????

wifey lily: NAHHHHHH MAN

angel carmen: i’m not even kidding

angel carmen: i’m deadass speechless

y/n: i need all of u to come to my house immediately

y/n: there’s so much more i need to tell y’all

chili!: Y/N.

chili!: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES MORE.

y/n: ….

chal eclair: answer the question bae 🤍

y/n: well

my baby lando: oh my god

y/n

♡ liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 11,340,293 more.

y/n i could see right through it

1,302,293 comments.

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➜ pierregasly ????????????????

y/n added to their story!

[keraxxx]

I need Oliver and Felix so bad like you don’t understand.. IM DESPERATE.

but can you please write something about brat taming w Oliver 😕🙏 like reader is also a friend of Felix similar to farleigh and she’s just very against Oliver bc she feels like he’s gonna take Felix away from her..

Pls include spanking 😋😋

OMG IM VIBRATING THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. OFC IM GONNA WRITE THIS!! I’m gonna base this off the scene with Farleigh and Oliver a bit. (sorry this is kinda short..)

Brat taming

pairing: oliver quick x bratty f!reader

warnings: spanking, fingering, cursing, manipulation (maybe..), crying, oral (R receiving), slut shaming, roughness, orgasm denial, not proof read.

a/n: HI GUYS! i’m sorry i love this idea so fucking much. ALSO for my series i’m planning to have the next chapter out late night tomorrow or thursday. Anyways enjoy! 💋 (dw i’m getting to the other request soon this one js caught my eye)

-

You were lying down in your bed, spread out onto the sheets, your eyes closed and headphones on. You weren’t sleep yet, you couldn’t sleep. Why was he here? You talked to Felix about this earlier.. You were scared Oliver would take Felix from you but of course, Felix denied your accusation and just kissed your head. You knew his friend had some sort of bad intentions you just couldn’t figure out what. Maybe he wanted to steal Felix for himself.. The way he looked at you showed hostility and you hated it. You hum as your eyes squeeze and you groan in frustration just thinking about the idea. You turn on your back and sigh, your hand on your forehead as you try to sleep.

You grunt softly as you feel a sudden pressure on your stomach, causing you to jolt up slightly, your eyes immediately opening. Someone was sitting on top of you. “Ollie?” You ask softly in a confused tone as you take off your headphones. He’s sitting on your stomach, squeezing your sides with his knees. “Ollie.. I think you’re on the wrong room.” You heaved out as he leaned down to look at you. “Am I?” He whispers, his face just inches from yours. He locks eyes with you, causing you to whine softly.

“You need to learn to behave.” Oliver growls. “Get up.” He commands as he gets off your stomach, allowing you to breathe more clearly. You hesitantly get up off the bed only for him to pull you back down onto him. He bent you over his lap in a painful way. You groan as his hand teases the soft silk fabric of your short white nightgown. “You have such a big mouth.. You can never stay quiet, huh? You need to learn to fucking whisper.” He hisses as he takes his free hand and forcefully grabs your cheeks, bringing your face up slightly as he leans down to yours. “You’re such a fucking slut for Felix.. Now shut up and behave for me.” He whispered before releasing you from his grip again. His hand at the edge of your nightgown slowly lifted up and bunched your gown around your waist, revealing your panties.

Oliver tuts as he looks at them, causing you to muffle a grunt. “Ollie I-“ He cuts you off with a loud smack on your ass. You yelp out loud and choke out a sob as he grabs your face again. “I said.. shut up and behave.” He raises his hand again and slapped your bottom. “Ollie please!” You moan out as he rubs your cheek to calm the sore redness threatening to appear soon. “Shut up.” He hissed again as he puts his free hand over your mouth. His hand slowly trails down your ass cheek and teases the wet mound under your panties, causing you to gyrate against his hand ever so slightly, soft and muffled whines spilling from your lips.

“You’re so wet..” Oliver chuckled as he watched you rub yourself against his hand. “You’re a slut for me too?” He whispers curiously. “I thought you ‘fucking hated me?’” “I do.” You say muffled, causing him to grip your face tighter. “Then why are you dripping all over?” He smirks before moving your panties to the side, revealing the sweet and succulent smell of your cunt. He moans in satisfaction before rubbing his middle finger against your drooling hole. His finger slowly teases its way into your cunt, causing you to moan, your legs squeezing together. He slowly pumps his finger in and out of your aching hole, your soft whimpers almost pouring through his hand.

“Will you behave?” He asks again in a hurried whisper and you gasp out a short yes. “Aww..” He coos as he watched you helplessly grind yourself into his finger. He lets out a dry laugh before shoving another finger into your tight hole. The gush of your juices spilling out onto his fingers makes you embarrassed. You hated him so much.. yet he’s fingering you in your own bedroom and you’re letting him. You moan as he picks up the pace of pounding your pussy, his fingers stretching you out in the slightest.

“I’m so close.” You whine into his hand and he snickers. “Yeah?” You nod and immediately your orgasm is ripped from you. You scoff as you look at him. “Ollie.. Please.” You whimpered out as he removed his hand from your mouth. He enticingly moves his cunt soaked fingers to his lips, teasing at his bottom lip before gently licking and sucking them clean. You watch him in awe, as if you’re in a trance. He removes his fingers from his mouth and hums. “There you go.. good girl.” He smirks. “You finally shut up.”

Oliver picks you up from his lap and places you on your bed, laying on top of you. He caress the side of your neck before gently placing his lips on yours. “Can you taste yourself?” He teases against your lips and you nod slowly as he pulls away. He trails down your body, touching and feelings your chest and stomach before he makes his way to your aching pussy. Oliver eagerly rips your panties from your body, causing a groan to escape your mouth. He looks at you knowingly before he lifts your thighs over his shoulders. “Shh..” He hushes before sticking out his tongue and placing it into your throbbing clit. Your back arches up at the sensation of his tongue rubbing circles into your clit, one of your hands finding its way to his hair and the other covering your mouth to stay silent. He eats your pussy like a hungry man, slurping up any juice that falls from you, his hands gripping the thighs on his shoulders. He slaps the side of your thigh as he teases your entrance with his tongue. Your jaw drops open into inaudible moans, your eyes rolling back and fluttering closed. He places kisses on your clit and lips, jolts of euphoria getting sent through your body as your legs begin to shake.

“You’re so close.. I just know it.” Oliver whispers into your pussy before indulging himself in it again. You choke back a sob as you tug at his hair, confirming his idea. He pulls away and rubs your clit. “Come on slut.” He coos as the knot in your stomach went away, releasing your juices all over your sheets. Oliver smirks to himself as he goes back down and licks you clean. Your jaw is left wide open as you watch him. He pulls himself up to your face and looks into your eyes again.

“Stop talking to others about me..” He whispers and you nod. “..’m sorry.” You say softly as his gaze softens.

“Good.”

-

[norrizzandpia]

hello, firstly i would like to say ur writing is phenomenal!! secondly i wanted to request something like the reader having some insecurities or just social media making her feel unworthy of lando thank u 🫶🏼

Ive been hanging onto this request for a while bc i love these scenarios bc they hit so close to home and I always need to be in the right mindset for them and now i am!

Love You the Way I Do (LN4)

Summary: When Y/n starts to pull back, Lando knows exactly what to do.

Warnings: insecurities, talks of not being good enough, language

Note: the reason ive been so mia on here is because ive just been in such a bad slump and not feeling good about myself or feeling good enough in general and im starting to get out of it with a lot of time focusing on myself but i really miss it on here so im using this as a way to kind of help me cope a bit with what ive been going through recently

Y/n was never good with her emotions. Discussing them and trying to work on them, she could never reach a certain level of comfortability with the people in her life that allowed her to be that vulnerable with them. Her parents, friends, and other family members had to pry words out of her when it was clear she was struggling and no amount of therapy sessions had cured the vicious cycle. However, Lando’s peaceful presence in her life had shifted the way she operated, allowed her to open up more easily with the way he would hold her until she was ready.

He was patient, almost strategic, when it came to getting through to her. Past moments of darkness where she would try to shut him out, try to be alone in the agony, were lessons in which ways worked best to get her to realize that he was there for her, waiting with open arms and constantly ready to listen.

Easing her mind, that was Lando’s job and he was damn good at it.

He could always tell when there was a war going on beneath the walls of her head. When she would go quiet or laugh just a bit less, he caught on fast. Just like now, as he sat on the couch in their shared apartment and watched her talk to her sister on the phone in the kitchen, Lando clocked the way she wasn’t as smiley, as excited to talk to one of her favorite people in the world.

“Thursday? No, I can’t do Thursday. I’ve got some stuff to do.” She mumbled into the speaker. Lando could hear her sister respond, something about Y/n being too busy, but he couldn’t truly digest the words, too engrossed in his own mind wondering what she had Thursday.

If he remembered correctly, she had nothing scheduled.

The second sign; distancing herself from people close to her and staying inside unhealthily.

She paced the room, rounding each corner of the counter as she bit the nail on her thumb, “Friday, no… next Monday, no… next Wednesday, no…”

Their conversation continued that way until her sister gave up on trying to find a date, muttering about letting her know when the next date Y/n was available was, and hung up. His girlfriend set the phone down on the marble, head falling forward as she huffed out a breath.

“You okay, love?” He spoke, voice hesitant as to not startle very clearly something loud in her mind.

She turned her eyes, squinting at him lightly before whispering, almost too quietly, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

A tired Y/n, Lando knew, warranted clinginess. That was her usual way of remedying exhaustion, curling up in his arms wherever he was and partaking in a Power Nap. Although, there was none of that as she walked out of the kitchen, turning a corner and disappearing behind their bedroom door.

Third sign; shutting Lando out, the one he hated the most.

He scrolled through his phone for a minute more, not wanting her to know he had already realized her turmoil. He wanted her to believe that his comfort was not out of pity, but love.

When the clock reached an even number, he got up from his seated position and pattered over to their door, knocking lightly.

“Y/n? Can I come in?” He said, though there was no response. He creaked the door open, seeing her frame turned away from him as it laid on their bed, her phone illuminating the room.

Because of the darkness and the only light coming from her phone, he could easily see what she was looking at. It was as clear as day and the reason for her distance, however painful, became apparent.

A twitter thread of why Luisa was better for Lando than Y/n.

It broke his heart.

He stood for a moment, taking in the scene before him and breathing deeply, and deciding his plan of action. It only took him a few seconds, although, he knew exactly what he wanted to say to her.

Lando approached her side of the bed and when his footsteps reached the ears of his beloved, she turned her phone off quickly. He kneeled down beside her, dried tears on her cheeks not going unnoticed by him. His hand cradled the side of her face that wasn’t pushed into her pillow and he kissed her forehead.

“Baby, I saw what you were looking at.” He whispered into the quiet. His green eyes bore into hers as she willed the knot in her throat to dissipate.

Lando gently took her phone from her hands, sliding it off the bed and setting it on the night stand next to him. He nudged her shoulder, signaling for her to move over so he could squeeze into her side of their massive bed. When he laid down, his arms wrapped tightly around her frame, squeezing the skin and warming it as she nuzzled her head into his chest.

“Why are you doing this to yourself? You know they’re wrong.” He tried.

Y/n pulled away from his chest, looking up at him and using her voice, albeit wobbly, “Do I know they’re wrong? Lan, you mean so much to so many people in this world, people you don’t even know the names of.”

He nodded, “Okay, yes, what does that have to do with this?”

She sniffled, “There are so many other women that could compliment you better. Women that people know the name of. Women that have made their mark on this world just like you have. I will never be able to be what you need me to be.”

Lando shook his head, her words outrageous in his mind because she was already everything he needed, just as she was.

“Y/n, what? What are you even saying? That’s crazy. You mean everything to me. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t care about anyone else, anything else. You compliment my life and my happiness perfectly. That’s all that matters.”

Wetness formed beneath her eyes once more and began to fall freely as she toyed with the hem of his shirt, “What if you wake up one day and realize that Luisa is better suited for the life you lead? What if one day you wake up and I am no longer good enough for you?”

Lando gaped at her, truly at a loss for words. In his mind, everything she was saying was so incredibly wrong, she couldn’t be farther from the truth. However, from the sadden look in her eyes, he could tell that she fully believed the things flying from her mouth. That idea, the thought that she was scared one day he would no longer cherish her in the way he does now, made him all the more determined to remind how much she matters to him and how that will never change.

“Y/n, stop. Listen to yourself. Have I ever made you feel inadequate?” He questioned, staring at her fiercely as if what she was saying made him defensive. It did in a way. He was defensive of the love he had for her, taking shame in the fact that he had made her feel as though their relationship would end.

She shook her head as he brought his fingers up to wipe at the tears still falling down her skin, “No, but-”

He brought his pointer finger to her lips, “No buts, Y/n. Listen to me when I tell you this. You have been and always be more than enough for me. You are the start and end of my day, and that is something I never want to change. Being scared that one day I’ll wake up and magically have fallen out of love with you is absolutely fucking clinically insane. It’s been two years we’ve been together, Y/n, and I still badger you at the end of the day, asking what you had done because I love to hear your voice. I love your rambles and I love the way you love me. There’s nothing that’s going to make me want to stop loving you because there’s really no going back. I’m in this with you and I always will be. You need to believe that. Believe me when I say the only way we will end is lying next to each other on our death beds with rings on our left fingers from our wedding decades ago.”

“That’s kind of morbid.” She whispered, a small smile gracing her features as his words sunk beneath her skin.

He chucked and leaned further into her, “It’s true. There will come a time where I get on one knee in front of you and beg you to be with me for the rest of our lives. There will come a time where I will stand in front of all of our friends and family, and declare my love for you and certainty over marrying you. I know these things will happen because I am interchangeably in love with you. And I know you are with me too. So, just leave social media be, baby. Stay here in this moment with me, push all those disgusting fans away and listen to my words. I love you,” He shook her head lightly in his hands as he spoke, “You are worthy of my love and love in general, and there will never come a singular moment where even the thought of leaving you passes my brain. We are it for each other, love. This is it for me.”

Her body relaxed fully into his arms and further into the bed as they stared at each other. Y/n giggled at his words and he smiled down at her, still holding her face whilst lightly rubbing excess tears in her soft skin.

A silence passed before Y/n mumbled, “I think I’m going to delete my social media platforms for a while. Take some time off and get back on track.”

Warmth swelled in Lando’s chest, threatening to spill out from his mouth at overwhelming amounts of it within his body.

“I’m so proud of you, love.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss her softly. He pecked her lips lovingly, sweet nothings spilling from his mouth in the form of the warmth that had been drowning him.

They stayed that way for a few hours, both falling in out of sleep in the arms of the other. And when crickets chirped and the clock read an ungodly time, Lando pulled Y/n from bed, into their bathroom, where he showed her how much he loved her. A bath, some face masks, and low music that he made her dance with him along to, all worked as ways for him to tangibly exude the feelings he had for her. No longer were the ex’s of his past, no longer were jealous fans, no longer were thoughts of unworthiness.

Just him, her, and the love that would never die out.

[pintrestgrl]

loved your bsf!jj drabble!!!!! maybe a little drunken love confession from bsf!jj … and reader thinks its lowkey too good to be true bc she’s been yearning forever… but when they both sober up jj is like !!! i meant wtf i said !

hi i wrote this and then it completely disappeared. sigh. also im sorry if this is bad, i was half asleep bc i spent forever writing it the first time.

also i’m sorry for being inactive yesterday i was so so stressed nd had cramps and was dying… but hi !! hope u like this anon 🥹

note: after writing this, i rlly don’t like it. but i pray u guys do 😞

drunk!bsf!jj x pogue!reader.

“here, drink this.”

you spoke, shoving a glass of water into jj’s chest, sitting down next to him on the couch of the chateau.

he was clearly very wasted, and you were only a slight bit tipsy.

you two had both went out to the boneyard together, the rest of the group out doing god knows what.

he rambled on about not wanting to drink it, before giving in and chugging the clear liquid.

“thank god, you’re annoying when you’re drunk.”

“no, ‘m not. you are.”

“at least i’m not sloppy wasted, unlike somebody.”

“whatever. guilty by association.”

he spoke, slurring his words and laughing drunkenly.

“i’m not associated with you, you wish.”

“you’re my bestfriend, of course you are.”

he spoke, rolling his eyes amused at your denying.

you managed to let out a fake chuckle, silently cringing inside as he called you that. were you really only his ‘friend’ to him?

you wished to be so much more, and he had no idea whatsoever.

you were snapped out of your thoughts by his voice, drunkenly rambling again.

“thanks for the water. that was like, kinda sweet.”

“sweet?” you question, laughing as you furrowed your brows.

“yeah. you’re a sweet girl, i swear.”

you opened your mouth to protest, before being interrupted before you got the chance.

“you’re kinda pretty too.”

you froze at his words.

pretty?

that’s the last word you thought jj would use to describe you; at least to your face.

“what?”

“actually, no. you are pretty. very pretty.”

“jj, you’re drunk.”

“yeah, i am. and you’re pretty. probably beautiful if i could think right now.”

“you don’t mean that.”

“no, i do. i definitely do. i don’t know why you don’t have a boyfriend. or why i’m too dumb to ask you out.”

you were completely baffled at this point, trying to find any truth in his words. and to your surprise, he sounded genuine. drunk, but genuine.

you had liked him forever, and this was the most he’d ever showed any reciprocation.

you were always too scared to say anything, afraid of his rejection and what it would do to your friendship.

so, you opted for having some of him, rather then none at all.

“do you even understand a word you’re saying?”

you spoke, desperately needing to know if he was just drunkenly saying bullshit, or revealing the truth of how he felt.

“yeah, i do. you’re a sweet girl who is too pretty to not have a boyfriend. i mean, god. your face is perfect.”

“jj, shut up. stop.”

“no, you shut up. let me talk. i think i like you.”

“i’d hope so, considering i’m your bestfriend.”

“no, no. like actually like you. like seriously.”

you desperately were trying to deny his words, convincing yourself this was a dream and you needed to wake up.

“you think you like me?”

“no, i actually know i do. like a lot.

“jay, you’re joking.”

he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“can you let me be serious about one thing in my life? i mean, god. i’m not joking. i’m serious. serious about this, about you.”

you could tell he was probably getting agitated the way you kept denying him, the way his mood shifted from amusedly drunk, to pissed off.

“why don’t you sleep the ‘liking me’ off, yeah?”

it took a while, but you convinced him to just go to bed. and as he layed in the next room over, you couldn’t get over his words.

was he trying to get in your pants because he was wasted, or was he serious about liking you?

you knew the thought would keep you up all night if you let it, so you decided to drop it from your brain, drifting off to a light sleep.

next morning.

you woke up groggily, a slight hangover lingering on your body. once you registered everything, you decided to go to the room next door, consisting of a likely just as hungover jj.

you opened the door, sitting on john b’s his bed, silently shaking him awake.

you knew he’d probably get all mad, but you needed him to help you clear the lingering thought in your head.

he groaned, mumbling a sleepy short sentence.

“what do you need?”

“can we talk?”

“speak or forever hold your peace, stupid.”

you rolled your eyes at his tired insult, reluctantly continuing with your words.

“uh— last night, you told me some stuff. like that you liked me, thought i was pretty and stuff. were you serious?”

he shot up as the words spilled out, immediately sitting against the headboard.

“i told you that?”

“yeah, you did.”

“shit— um, well yeah. kinda. in a way.”

“kinda?”

“no. not kinda.”

he said, rubbing a hand over his face.

he spoke again, sounding embarrassed.

“yes. i did. i meant it. every word. ‘m sorry. i didn’t mean to— jesus, fuck.”

“no, it’s fine, uh— i ‘kinda’ like you too.”

you said, letting the words come out before you thought about their weight.

“kinda? you’re serious?”

“yes, i’m serious. and not kinda, i didn’t mean that. i like you a lot.”

“shut up.”

“i’m serious, i do.”

“well, why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

“i don’t know. i was nervous.”

a silence filled the room, not awkward. just waiting for someone to figure out the right thing to say.

finally, jj spoke.

“uh— i’m like really hungover.”

you rolled your eyes at the subject change, finding it just like him to do something like that.

“that’s what your gonna say?”

“no, fuck—sorry. can you just sleep in here with me so i can think straight after?”

“you could’ve just said that.”

“well, i just did, didn’t i?”

“i guess. and yeah, i can. scoot over.”

he awkwardly listened to your demand, not used to the feeling of you knowing about his thoughts of you.

you both fell unconscious soon after, unknowingly shiftinging your bodies closer as you slept.

you slept for another hour or two, limbs tangled and intertwined together as your mind tried to decipher if this was a dream, or if your head was really resting on your bestfriends chest.

[hearts401]

Tessa fucks me up dude can I just talk about her for a sec? Yeah? Yeah.

She loved those drones. She loved them because they were what she had. She felt sympathy for them when nobody else did. And I like to think there was a little bit of loneliness motivating her as well.

Her mother hated her. She was nothing to her. When her mother scolded her by saying "seems you still can't follow simple orders" her respone was "No, no no! Please!" BEGGING. Begging her mother to believe in her and be kind to her. She got chained up in her room (multiple times btw. At leas tthats implied. the hand she winced at and rubbed is the same hand the chain was on, which means shed be chained up long enough for it to rub her skin painfully. long enough to leave lasting pain.)

She is very connected to these drones, to the point where she kept all the error drones aroud because she LOVED them. She spent time digging them up. HELL SHE TOOK A FAMILY PHOTO WITH THEM DUDE...

Even when Cyn was creepy and scary, she kept her around. She'd rather lock Cyn up than get rid of her. and when n points it out, shes apologetic and hesitant. But we know WHY she did that. Even if it was kind of a sucky move, it was because she didnt wanna have to throw cyn out. and in the end that killed her.

Also she knows J well enough to know what sets her off (enough to. bite the shit out of a chain). She knows them. and she loves them.

I wish we'd gotten to know more about her an N. why is he so clearly her favorite? but thats not relevant ig

also her saying "I've only ever yakked to robots, J!" She has NO human friends. she has nobody to support her other than these robots. these robots who get treated like garbage by her family.

and then she has to watch these robots turn on her. Not just THESE ROBOTS but the three that she loved most. (also im going off what wouldve happened in ep 5 WITHOUT uzi, where n doesnt get out of the swamp, and nobody goes down to the basement)

V first, then Cyn, then J. And we KNOW she loved these three+N especially bc she took a family photo w them, interacted with them more often, and generally just seemed much closer with them.

and what does she get for it? killed. And also its implied by this screenshot that she wasnt ACTUALLY killed by cyn right then

(the scientists, the sword beside her, the footprints, the way shes sitting against the wall, the expression she has. she totally just saw all that shit)

and she cant have been skyn bc the scientists wouldve known. the skinsuit wasnt exactly. hm. pretty.

which means she DID see her whole family+more slaughtered in front of her while she was powerless to stop it. She DID see J violently kill everyone around her. She DID see Cyn kill everyone. And she just has to. Deal with that. And despite all her efforts, the solver took over and cyn killed her. (im assuming tessa died somewhere around when n's mineshaft flashback was like i mentioned b4)

and all the while she was convinced shed lose N, id assume. based on the state of the other drone out there.

And honestly, i think what she got was worse.

also i am team "N knew Tessa wasn't the same Tessa he knew back on Earth"

The way he looked at her, and the way he was suspicious of her. He knew HIS Tessa would never treat a drone like this. Cyn has been known to have relatively shitty recreations of people at times (like Thad in episode two) But even so there was no way he could believe it was someone else (like. who would it be? he saw her blood he heard her voice like...) which is why he was so stressed after killing her (when he leaned on his sword and was breathing heavy, yk?)

he loved her and she loved him and now shes dead. just like everyone else he loved.

this isnt about n but like. idk if tessa could see him now i think shed cry. she loved him and all of them

[solarsturniolo]

you say you can’t watch the trips anymore bc nick is too rude but ignore the fact that for months on end matt was rude but everyone js said “oh that’s his mattitude” that’s pretty weird to me man idk

Matt has also gotten very rude. i’m not dismissing that at all. But nick’s piss poor attitude has been consistent for about a year now and i’m over it 😀 He can’t take any constructive criticism, he makes fun of and talks shit about his fan base CONSTANTLY, he never stops complaining, and quite frankly i find it so unattractive when people are like that. Matt has an attitude and he’s been getting worse recently as well.

Like they keep saying, they’re twenty one years old. they need to grow up and fucking act like it. Their behavior on the internet would be excusable for like 15-17 year olds, but they are adults. They can legally drink, they can vote, they can be drafted in the military. It’s about time someone (Laura) does their job and hires them a PR person because clearly they have ZERO training.

My life may be crazy now, what with all of the going out and going to frat parties and stuff that’s happening, but i am so much happier now that im not stuck in this Sturniolo Slum.

When Nick finally figures out that the world doesn’t revolve around him, and that he’s not always 100% right, then maybe i’ll give them a second chance. But i don’t see that happening anytime within the near future, because his ego is bigger than his fucking mouth. And this has absolutely NOTHING to do with his sexuality, before the sturniolo police decide to put me on blast. I’m a girl and i love pussy, but i still treat people with respect and decency, and i can accept and acknowledge when im wrong about something.

[kiibichio]

PLAY DATE 2. 𐙚 ❤︎ M. STURNIOLO

OVERVIEW ;; you and matt get into a heated argument over your ‘friends with benefits’ deal, how will it end ?? (good ending i promise)

CONTAINS ;; angst, fluff, good ending !! (that’s it?)

momo speaks ;; PART TWO OF THISSS. this was so fun to writeee. I HOPE U GUYS REALLY LIKED IT BC I WORKED HARDD MAN I WAS BREAKING A SWEAT OVER HERE (but kinda rushed). enjoy !! (PART ONE HERE <33)

date published ;; 02.20.24

not proofread !!

——————————————————————————————

6:49 pm.

“are you serious? you just told me you ‘missed me so much’, but you’re letting me leave just like that? am i just some sort of play date to you?” i ask, sitting up. anger, sadness and confusion written all over my face.

maybe i shouldn’t have said that.

matt goes silent for a while, then speaks up.

“you do realize that when we started this we both mutually agreed to have no feelings right?” he says, trying to keep his cool

“well- i mean yeah, but-” i try to speak

“then what makes you think i want to be something more?” he cuts me off. he stands up and starts to get dressed.

“matt. good fucking god, i mean you just have sex with me that damn near kick me out?”

tears start filling my eyes. shit.

“yeah!” he exclaims sarcastically “i do because when we established this, i told you i didnt want a fucking relationship. we’re just friends that just so happen to fuck.” matt raises his voice at me.

then the water works break. goddammit.

i wipe my eyes before speaking up, “okay then… if that’s how you want it to be, then we can end this shit right fucking now. im not gonna allow myself to be used like some damn sex toy.”

“wait.. y/n- c’mon i didn’t mean it like that.” matt tries to explain, regretting what he had just said.

“oh no. i fully understand what you meant,” i reply, now getting dressed.

“fuck..” he mumbles under his breath, but still loud enough for me to hear.

“that’s all you have to say?” i stand up after putting my shoes on, crossing my arms in front of the bedroom door.

matt goes silent.

“oh, what? we’re mute now? real cute.” i ask sarcastically before storming out the room. he follows behind me, trying to explain himself with ‘y/n this!’ and ‘y/n that!’ but i easily tune him out.

as i reach the front door, it starts to open.

it’s just chris and nick, i give a small wave and quickly pass by them and start walking to my house.

ill be damned if i ever let somebody treat me like this shit again.

——————————————————————————————

an hour later, i get a knock on my door. dear lord, who is it now? i walk over to the front door and open it.

matt’s on the other side.

“hey.. forgot your phone…” he says sheepishly, handing it over to me.

“mhm. thanks.” i answer. i start to close the door before he pushes it open again.

“can i… come in?” he asks

“why? so you can screw me over again? no thanks.”

“y/n. im serious. please?”

i can tell he’s serious, but im still hesitant.

i sigh and open the door wider to let him enter.

he makes his way to the couch, while i lock the door and follow behind him, but sitting on the opposite side of him.

there’s a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

“just gonna sit there?”

he lets out a deep breath, “listen, i’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. i didn’t take your feelings into consideration and i clearly wasn’t thinking in that moment.” matt explains sincerely.

“i accept your apology. and i understand, but now that my secrets out, we cant keep doing this. it’s just- not.. right.” i shake my head

“that’s another thing i wanted to talk about. it’s not that i don’t like you.. i do- it’s just…” he sighs

“what, matt? you can talk to me. we’re still friends.” i speak. i move closer to him and put my hand on top of his.

“ive been extremely busy lately. flying back and forth, videos, podcasts, everything. its just a lot to handle and im not sure im ready for commitment. so its not a no.. its just a ‘not now.’” he looks at me.

after he said that, i felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. i needed that sense of reassurance. but now i feel like the asshole. i should’ve thought about him too.

“that’s perfectly fine, matt. i can handle that.” i start to smile, “ill wait for you, matt. take as much time as you need.”

he hugs me and i can feel his face growing into a soft smile against my shoulder.

“thank you, y/n.”

4 months later ;;

“matt! baby, i missed you so much!!” i say, leaping in his arms as he walks out into the airport parking lot towards my car. i attack him with kisses all over his face and hug him just a bit too tight.

“too tight, my love.” he says almost out of breath.

“it’s not my fault, this is the first time you’ve ever left me like this! i just really, really missed you.” i exclaim, letting go of him.

“you’re so extra.” he chuckles

okay that first part was a partial lie, but it really is the first time he’s gone back to boston without his girlfriend of 2 months!

“can you two get a room? good fucking god.” nick says disgusted, chris nodding his head and agreeing with his brother.

me and matt both shoot them the middle finger and continue walking to the car.

he grabs my hand, “i missed you too, though baby. i was thinking about you the whole time. and…” he continues to tell me how much he had missed me and loves me.

best boyfriend ever.

——————————————————————————————

momo speaks (again) ;; ugh this was really rushed im sorry if it sucks 😭😭 BUT I GOT IT DONE. love you guys <3 hope you enjoyed !! TOODLES xx

tag list ;; @sturniolos-blog @mayhem-72 @hearts4chris 🍵

[starluvsx]

★𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

proofread: yeaaa

word count:4k(lol plz send help)

WARNINGS: pt2 of jealous girl, toxic!Chris, smut but like for the plot yk, p in v, dick suckin, unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex kids😁👍), praise and degrading, crying, mentions of possible cheating, reader talks about being insecure, swearing, pet names, reader is def not standing on business.

A/N:here u gooo @urfavstromboli !this is too long holy shit.the smut part was so strange to write bc like I don't really like writing smut but I had to for like the story.also im sorry this took so long to makes started working on it right after pt1 and just forgot it was in my drafts LMAOOOO. also peep the special banner(I couldn't find any good lyrics).ok ill stop yappin and let you read.

𖦹 𖦹

✧SATURDAY

my heart beat sped up as I slammed the door in Chris' face.never being this upset with him in my life. I mean I never really thought he would choose another girl over me.Especially not one that has problems with me for no apparent reason. As I broke down into sobs I pulled out my phone and ironically called Nick, Chris' brother, knowing he would comfort me.

"Hey what's up?Did Chris apologize?" Nick asked through the phone.Once my crying was heard I think he got the hint of what had happened though.

"Can you uh..can you come over please really just... need someone right now."I stifled out as I paced around my living room.too many yet not enough thoughts running through my head.

"yea of course, do you want me to grab anything on the way?"Nick questioned sympathetically. I only responded with a small 'the usual' before we promptly said goodbye and I hung up.

✧NICKS POV

I heard the front door open as I shuffled down the stairs,Chris huffing and puffing as he stepped into my view. "How'd it go?"I asked even though I already knew how it went.I wanted to see if he would lie to me.

"horrible, its not even my fault though, shes acting like an insane bitch and is trying to make me choose between her and ash.fucking stupid.she needs to get over herself." Chris spat out.i was shock at his words about a girl who he used to love so much.the only time he talked about her behind her back was when he was saying how pretty she looked or how kind she way or how funny she could be.all of those feeling were now replaced by cold, rude, bullshit.

"don't talk about her like that, dickhead." I retorted.yes he's my brother and I'll love him no matter what but there is no way I would let him talk about her in such a way.especially when I knew that wasn't what he was like at all.

"what?! How am I the dickhead?" he yelled out as I turned my body to Matt's room in order to ask if he could drive me to y/n's.rolling my eyes and choosing to ignore the boy who had very clearly lost it.

"Can you drive me to y/n's?"I asked while poking my head into Matt's dark room. a small 'yea sure' being the answer as he got up from his desk.walking back into the kitchen area I was met with an angered Chris. God he was acting like such a child.

"don't ignore me,"he slightly shouted. "If I'm really a dick then there must be a reason!" my youngest brother said, looking at me soullessly.

"you literally were flirting with Ashley the other day, didn't  say anything when she insulted your girlfriend, when y/n confronted you about it you don't even care, and then when she asked you to make the very reasonable decision of either her or Ashley you get all pissed and start calling her an insane bitch, so yea I think that makes you a dick."I rambled on frustrated.

Chris didn't say anything before I walked toward the front door.or maybe he was going to but just didn't because of the situation.either way I don't think he really needed to say anything else.as I was getting my shoes on I could faintly hear Matt say "I know your my brother but if you hurt her anymore after today I'll kick your ass." which was followed up by my silence and footsteps towards Chris' room.

Matt huffed as he walked down the stairs and walked out the door to his car with me.Once we got in the car we both sighed deeply. "He's so stupid sometimes."Matt breathed out as he started the car and began to back out of the driveway.

"seriously, also we need to stop by the gas station."I replied.even though I was going to her house in order to comfort her and hopefully make her realize he's not treating her well and that she should just leave I know it would be to no avail.shes a hopeless romantic and there not much I can do about it.

✧YOUR POV

tears sprung out of my eyes like frogs with no hesitation. “Please please please let me get what I want” by deftones playing on my speaker. I looked into the mirror across from my bed as I laid on my side, locking eyes with my own reflection.I slowly picked my body up and now simply sat on my bed.still staring at myself intently.

I found myself simultaneously messing with different parts of my body and face.silently wishing they would morph to look like Ashley.she was perfect.the perfect weight,perfect skin,flawless makeup, model like hair.no wonder why Chris didn't mind her being on top of him.he probably wanted people to think that was his girlfriend.not me.why would anyone wanna be seen with me anyways.

The doorbell ringing for the second time this night broke me out of my thoughts.I slowly brought myself to my feet and dragged myself to the front door.as I opened It I was met with a sympathetic looking Nick holding a gray bag. "hey girl..."he slowly said.

I'm not sure if it was just my brain trying to distract me or what but I couldn't help but notice he had dyed his hair red again. "your hair...its not blonde anymore..."I quietly said.my words making Nick smile

"Yeah I know, just kinda felt like another change, i don't know.do you like it?"he questioned.

"I love it, looks really cool man.''I answered, tired eyes looking at him and realizing he was still outside. "oh shit sorry"I said while moving out of the way. as he stepped into my house I made eye contact with Matt who had most likely been waiting for Nick to go into my house.I waved to him with a small smile as he reciprocated through his car window.

I sighed heavily as I shut the door.remembering what happened earlier. "Okay so I got you red bull, skinny pop, oreos, mints and Lindt chocolate, oh and I got nerds for myself, you can have some though."Nick said once he walked over to my kitchen table, placing the items on said table as he listed them.I don't know how he remembers what I like to eat when I'm sad but this does happen a lot I guess.

I put my head in my hands and let out a deep breath.trying to unwind somehow.a ping was then heard from across the table.i knew it was Nick because my phone had been left upstairs. "Oh God, look who it is."Nick said as he turned his phone to face me. it was Ashley.she had sent him something on snap.

'half swipe it."I said as I made my way around the table, peering over his shoulder to see his screen.

"I don't know how."he responded, panicking.

"Just pull it from the left." I tried to explain.my help wasn't very useful though because he opened it instead. 'Are you mad at me?' read the message "is she fucking stupid.of course your mad at her?"

"She is stupid, that's why she looks like that.im just gonna say no to see what she says."the boy next to me said as he typed out 'no' followed up by 'why would I be mad at you?'.

she immediately opened the message and began typing "wow I'm surprised she opened that fast, probably cause she has no life."I snakily said as we both watched her bitmoji type.

''Oh bc of what happened with y/n the other day. 'she clarified. He was about to start typing again before she beat him to it. 'yk when she was a psycho bitch for no reason' was the next message. "psycho bitch?!oh I'll show her a psycho bitch!"I said as I shot up from my leaned over position on the counter. walking angrily towards my front door.

"y/n you are not going to fight her right now, especially not when you look like that.'' Nick reasoned as he set his phone down. "just forget about her.she's just an irrelevant cunt that has nothing better to do with her life but hate." the red-head said.

he was right.i don't know why I cared what she thought.but when I really think about it,I don't.i couldn't give less then a fuck about how she saw me.it was Chris' opinion I cared about.i wanted him to think I was beautiful, funny and kind.i wanted him to think i was perfect.i wanted him to be able to see me over Ashely.

"did Chris say anything about me?"I asked.switching topics to something more relevant in my head. The face he made when I said this made my stomach drop.Mainly because I knew how mean Chris could get at times and considering what had happened earlier tonight I don't think he said anything good.

"Do you want what he should've said or what he did say?"he asked as I made my way back to my previous placement.

"Tell me what he actually said."I answered.feeling like I was taking a leap of faith.but I knew if I wasn't told the truth then I would never have a chance of getting over this man.

"he was all like 'it went horrible, it’s not even my fault though, she’s being an inane bitch and is trying to make me choose between her and ash.she needs to get over herself.'"Nick said, mimicking Chris' voice to make it more light hearted.it was a little funny but the words made my eyes well up with tears nonetheless.

I was feeling so many different things.sadness, anger, stress but most of all betrayal.i mean he said it wasn't even his fault basically saying it was mine.my fault for being upset for a little bit.he would rather call me an insane bitch then just admit he was wrong and stop being friends with Ashley.that fat pig.

"what!?Ugh I hate him so much!!Why do I even like him?He treats me like shit,never listens and is always on top of other girls?!I don't even think I've heard him say he loves me in like 3 months!? do you think he's cheating?oh my God he probably is!"I rambled on.placing my head in my arms at the end of my words.i slowly began to sob into my own arms.once Nick heard my sobs he hugged my hunched over back.

"no don't say that.he's obviously not cheating on you."he reassured.his words didn't do much though because my cries only got louder and more emotional.my best friend ushered me up so he could hug me normally.i pulled away from the hug  once I was able to actually breath.looking up at Nick with tired, sad,eyes.thankful for him being here but also embarrassed for crying over his brother. "wanna watch a movie?" the boy sympathetically asked.i nodded a small yes before I grabbed all my snacks and headed over to the couch.

watching the movie was a good distraction for some time.but nonetheless I found myself thinking of him. how much I missed him and just wishing he was here right now.im not going to apologize though.I did nothing wrong no matter what he thinks.so if that means that we never speak again then I'm fine with that.oh who am I kidding, I'm definitely not fine with that.

✧THE NEXT DAY, SUNDAY

'come over please' and 'I miss you' were the two messages I had been staring at for at least five minutes.the sender being chris made this all the more strange and confusing.i mean he was just calling me an insane bitch yesterday and now he wants me to come over.but for some reason I caved.maybe he wanted to apologize or something.

I threw a zip up over my lace tank top and tied my gray sweatpants.sliding my crocs on as I stepped outside started walking to my car.

Once I began driving I found myself more fidgety in anticipation than what felt like ever before.fingers tapping against the steering wheel rhythmically and constant glancing at the ETA were I knew this.

As I entered the house using my key I felt anxiety rush over me.Matts keys weren't here and neither was Nick's jacket which he never leaves the house without during this time of the year.meaning that it was only the two of us in this house.

My footsteps felt heavy as I walked down to his room.something I had done many times now feeling unfamiliar.I knocked on his bedroom door lightly once I approached it. though as the door was opened I wasn't even aloud a greeting before he placed his hands on my hips and smashed his lips onto mine hungrily.i wish I could say I rejected the kiss but I couldn't.it was like he had put a spell on me.

he walked backwards as we eventually crashed onto his bed.i straddled over his lap as I deepened kiss.he swiftly flipped me over onto my back and moved me so I was sat up a little.i took the hint and unzipped my hoodie, throwing it off to the side while trying my best not to break the kiss.

he then removed my tank top.now revealing my bare chest to him "no bra huh?so you are still my slut." he said as a smirk formed on his lips.

"I was actually about to go to bed but whatever you wanna believe."I retorted.

"do you want me to fuck you or not?"he questioned, looking into my eyes.i stayed silent though.letting the wetness between my legs make my decisions. "that's what I thought."he darkly said. pale arms taking his own shirt off.toned body now all in view for me.

"you know what to do.''was my signal to take my pants off.i undid the tie on my sweats and slid them off.leaving my white laced panties on. "sit up and go on the side of the bed"he demanded.i did as he said.sitting on my knees a on the side of the bed I was closer to.he then came around to the side I was facing.once he was directly in front of me he dropped his baggy jeans and boxers at once, cock springing free.all 8 inches now stood in front of me.his pink tip leaking pre-cum.

I looked up at him innocently.as if I had never done this before.i then, on instinct, began to pump him with my hand slowly.my actions making his breath hitch.i placed my lips on the tip and began to lower my head.pace increasing every time I brought my head up.eventually his hands made their way to my hair and began to push my head into his cock roughly. "fuck just like that.keep going.use that perfect little mouth for something good for once."he harshly spat out looking down at me as he said that.i ignored his words though and continued to suck him off.

This feeling being lost on me for almost a week made my throat sting pleasurably.his grip on my hair tightened which told he was close.the signal making me go faster.if even possible.small whimpers fell from his cherry lips as I continued to work. “Oh God yes,please I’m…I’m almost there”he mumbled out, the words working as encouragement for me to keep going.then without warning I felt his cum shoot itself into my mouth.the salty savory flavor touched my taste buds as I swallowed.

Once he came down from his own high he looked down at me.i kept my eyes on his.looking up like a lost puppy. "fuck your so hot" he said as he grabbed my middle area and situated me on my back and so I was on his bed longways.once he laid down with me he whispered "sit on my lap baby"

I complied and did as he said.placing myself more on his legs then his actual lap because I knew he wouldn't be that easy. "you want me to fuck you?"he asked.i nodded 'yes' in response. looking down at him with pleading eyes even though I was on top right now. "use your words.you had so much to say before, what happened to that?"he teased.

"please chris just fuck me, ive been waiting for days!"I squealed out.thankful there was nobody else home right now. 

"good girl.."he hissed out.his words being my command to lift my hips up and hover over his cock.then without warning he thrusted up into me after lining himself up with my entrance.the sudden feeling making me yelp.he continued to buck his hips up into mine as I bounced simultaneously, placing my fingertips on his chest for some sort of stabilization.

moans that were higher pitched than my actual voice spilled out of my mouth along with swears and small pleads.my body was hot as I went up and down on him.his hands were at my waist, guiding my every move harshly. The pale boy grabbed my waist hard, making me wince at the pleasure mixed with pain.the idea that the boy who I was crying over last night was ramming himself into me right now made me feel guilty.but I can't help it.his touch is intoxicating.

my jaw fell open as pornographic noises flowed from my lips.eyes screwing shut and head being now hung low.i was so caught up in myself that I didn't even register the small whimpers coming from the boy underneath me. The noises being my key to realize he really did miss me.at least a part of me. "keep going baby, don't stop, i'm gonna-"I rambled on before being cut off by my own already familiar noises

"Me too..shit.."he whispered.

"chris fuck fuck fuuuuck"I strung out as I came undone on top of him.laying my body on his as he thrusted up into me again,chasing his own high. Whiny whimpers made their way into my ear as I felt him twitch inside of me.knowing he was close I decided to tease him a little by kissing his neck and leaving a trail of hickeys.my sensitive body not mattering at all to either of us.

"fuck baby" he groaned out as I felt his load shoot into me, coating my insides.we sat there in silence.sweaty bodies catching their breath.once we calmed ourselves he pulled me off him and situated me so I was laying on my side, facing the boy who replicated my current position."lemme get you a towel."he said before promptly getting up, putting his boxers on, and doing as he said.

When he came back and cleaned me up I couldn't help but stare at him.all his features slithering into my eyes. "Can I have a shirt?"I asked softy.not wanting to put my tank top back on because of the temperature.he only hummed an ‘mhm’ before tossing me a random black shirt with a white design on it.

"Can we talk? ''he awkwardly said as we both were now sat up and at least partially clothed. I nodded my head to signify I was listening."listen y/n im...im really sorry about earlier.i was a dick and I shouldn't have acted like that.i know you don't like Ashley and i'm totally fine with dropping her.i would rather lose her then you any day and i'm so sorry if I made you feel otherwise.a-and if your ever upset again don't be afraid to say something cause I promise I won't act like a dick again."he nervously rambled on.

I wish I had it in me to stay mad at him but I couldn't.i know this apology was just so I wouldn't leave him lonely and he would pull something stupid in a few weeks.but I can't help it.i'm in love with him and there's nothing I can do about it.

✧MONDAY MORNING

my eyes screwed shut almost immediately after they fluttered open, the bright sunlight causing this.i turned my head around to the best of my abilities to see if chris was awake and it didn't seem like it. I turned my head back and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. "you're finally awake."Chris said from behind me,startling me a little.

I hummed a small 'mhm' before trying to get up but to my dismay he pulled me back down to my previous spot. "I have to pee."I giggled.

"pee later"he mumbled, pulling me closer if possible.

"yea no thank you"I said before breaking out of his limp arms grasp and standing up to go to the bathroom.taking a mental note of my sore legs from last night.

"I see you limping!"he teased once I got into the bathroom.

"oh fuck off"I lightly shouted back.once I washed my hands I began walking towards his door, the idea of food in mind.

"Where are you going?"he asked from his now sat up place.holding himself up on his elbows.

"I'm hungry"I said while throwing on my sweatpants that had been tossed here last night.

When I got up the stairs Nick turned his head to me.shock and disappointment coated his face. "Okay I thought we agreed you hated him?"he questioned.Keeping his voice low knowing Chris was still in the house.

"ugh I know but he texted me last night and told me to come over and then one thing led to another and...look he apologized."I tried to reason.nick though, was not having any of this.i made my way over to the fridge and grabbed my strawberry smoothie from Thursday that had been left here by accident.Taking a sip from it while I turned around to face my best friend again.

"yea and he apologized last time, and the time before that, and the time before that.you have to let him go y/n.he's not good for you."Nick explained to me.I know he was right but I couldn't just get over him.I wasn't the type of person to just get over stuff like that.

"Well last night seemed genuine, okay?I seriously think he meant it.''I said before footsteps were heard coming from chris' bedroom which ended me and Nick's conversation.

Chris hugged me from behind and kissed the top of my head.nick shot me a "you need help" look and I couldn't do much besides give him a "yea I know" look back.the brothers began conversing but it was more like background music to me.

I know nick is right, he’s not good for me.but I can't help it.everytime I look into his eyes I feel like i'm sinking deeper in this pit of love I dug so long a ago for him.i hated that I loved him and how I knew he was gonna do me wrong.but with his arms wrapped around me like they were right now I can't help but leave that as a problem for future me.

[ganondoodle]

okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"

and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)

whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character

if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me

i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal

and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid

i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him

i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really

(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)