#ughhhhhhh i dont wanna talk about TheDarkEra(online) to my therapist bc thats embaressing
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ever since i started going back to therapy ive been getting in tune with my emotions but that also means that when i hear certain songs i get flashbacks to TheDarkEra
#vent... ig#im going to be vague asf for my comfortability#i feel like i shouldnt even be talking about this#...........................................................................................................................................#ughhhhhhh i dont wanna talk about TheDarkEra(online) to my therapist bc thats embaressing#what am i supposed to say anyways#oh i got manipulated over the internet when i was 17?#i played all my cards right and i still got 'hurt'#i wouldnt say i got 'hurt' bc i didnt get the worst of it#watch if i bring this up to my therapist shes gonna go 👁👄👁#i have an issue with discounting my trauma and maybe this is one of those things#im clearly not over it bc im talking about it now but what am i supposed to do with these feelings#besides talk about them#and i feel like its not my place to talk#i feel like my section of the story is secondary to the saga that was TheDarkEra#bro but this effected me so bad that i dont even talk about it with my sibling#like i drop bits of info to them but i never sat down and explained what happened then#oh god i am suppressing this#but what left do i have to say that my friends and i havent said to each other#im on step one of acknowledging my 'trauma' but i dont know how to even get to step two of healing#even calling what happened trauma feels disrespectful#i feel like i shouldve known better#that i shouldnt have been so trusting#i was still a kid tho#a kid who just regained hope in life and humanity#how do you even heal from internet related trauma#i want to break my walls down so badly but im scared of getting hurt even as a legally able to smoke and drink year old man#ITS CRAZY internet was my refuge growing up and then it end up hurting me#ig it also affected me career wise and a big part of why i dont want to write#oh man oh man ohman
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